#my 'leftovers' document for fugue has over 21k words in it

[swaps55]

So, a little peek behind the curtain for anyone who might be wondering why the hell it's taking me so long to update Fugue.

I've got roughly 18,000 words drafted of what was supposed to be one chapter that is now two. Getting those words out has been an adventure.

I agonized for about a week on whether I had the right person in the right scene for a character moment, decided I didn't, then rewrote the scene with a different character. Which required giving a LOT of thought to How Does This Character Grieve.

And then I decided the scene was in the wrong place so I moved it. And now have to rewrite it again for reasons that I will elaborate on in #9 & #10

I spent a month trying to block out the right sequence of events for an action scene. I finally did it. And I hated it. It felt wrong, Kaidan was out of character, the tension wasn't high enough, and it missed the overall mark by a mile.

Had probably three rubber duck brainstorm sessions with Real Life Romance Option (RLRO) to solve this problem. Revised the scene. Better, but still didn't believe in it. Said fuck it and just moved on. Maybe the answer will become apparent as I move through the rest.

Revised the scene from #1 again now that I had written the scene mentioned in #3, because #1 theoretically resolves some of the tension in #3. But the tension is still fucked up so this scene still isn't right.

Started blocking out the next round of combat, realized that it was boring from Kaidan's POV (not his fault - the interesting action was just happening where he wasn't), and then decided I need to change it up. Wrestled with that for a few days, because writing from the POV of OCs is always a little bit of a risk and I don't do it lightly. Decided it was important and valuable enough to do it.

Problem is, I have not written this character's POV since Sam died, so I took several days to sit with THAT and figure out what the world looks like through her eyes after his death and how that would help me tell the story I needed to tell. Problem: I still didn't REALLY understand what story I was trying to tell. I knew what the basic sequence of events were, but the character growth hadn't clicked yet.

Wrote the POV, and now, some 13-14k into this part of the story, FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHAT ALL OF THIS IS TRYING TO BE ABOUT. Thank god, now at least I know what I'm trying to accomplish other than Plot.

Realize that I now need to rewrite scene #1 from a totally different POV to create the parallels I'm looking for to move Kaidan along on his grief arc.

This presents a problem, because it puts me in Kara's POV while she is solving an engineering problem, and Kara is much smarter than I am. This meant another brainstorm session with RLRO, who handed me the PERFECT solution to the problem that fixed my character problems, fixed my tension problem, would make it possible for her to be smart without me being smart, etc., BUT, it meant throwing out every single word I'd spent an entire month writing.

Because of this entirely new development, which utterly changes the dynamic I am working with, I have to rewrite #1 AGAIN (which I still have not gotten to because I just finished #10).

I also still have to do first round revisions on the rest of the damn thing, because the back end of these two chapters is really raw and needs some love.

SO THIS IS WHY IT IS TAKING SO LONG. Every time I crown a chapter of Fugue as the most complicated writing I have ever put together, another chapter says, "hold my beer."

Once these are sorted out, I have two more chapters to write plus an epilogue. I think I know what I'm doing for all of it, but because each of these chapters interlink in important ways, what I think I am going to do is just write them before I post anything new. That way, everything will line up right, and once I am ready to post again, I can do it consistently.

I am really hoping I can make some progress over my holiday break (hopefully, but no promises, because I am traveling for part of it).

I am committed to getting this story done, and regret how long it's taking, but trust me, you did not want to read what I had before I figured this out.

Boy this one has been HARD. But I'm almost there. Almost. I'm really happy with the rewrites I just finished. One more big scene to rewrite. Then it's just revisions. I can handle that.