#my back and hand started to hurt
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So my second time doing a digital painting went really good!
Close up for texture!
#i don't know what possessed me but i have literally been working on this the whole day.#i woke up and ate breakfast then started working. took a break for lunch and dinner which were a collective 45 minutes because i finished a#singular episode of the x files. i finished this at 11:45pm. i started around 1pm...#when i wanted to draw i had no idea it would turn into this!! 10 hours!! woah!!!#im tired. my back hurts. my hand is cramping. i've been listening to joost all day and at some point dutch just became nothing#i struggled so hard with the blurry foreground oughh that was rough#my fitbit went off twice while drawing to let me know that my heart rate was way too fucking high... whoops#for a collective 20 MINUTES of my heart being around 133 while just sitting and drawing#i could feel it jump whenever i got really proud of this? idk why my heart does that but oh well#anyway i have to work early tomorrow so im gonna head to bed#hope yall enjoy!!#ben doyle#jet lag the game#zeph's art#jet lag the game fan art#jet lag#jltg
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I am going to blow up
#vrill talks#one my bff says she feels like shes just not being pripritized and like that we haven't made a real try to get together#and like i get where shes comin from but also i kept trying to talk to her and to invite her and she never answers and never talks back and#it feels so unfair bc ive tried. and like shes mad we went to others friend party and haven't tried to see her#and like i get but also i did ask weeks before to get together bc i missed us and she said she was too busy#and and and AAAAAAAAAA#not what i needed to read before a test not gonna lie#bc she says its best we go separate ways#and i dont know if try to change her mind or not bc i get where's shes coming from#but also it hurts. a lot. especially bc we woul ask her if she wanted to hang outz she woul say no n then later during the weekend upload#a phoro of her going out w other friends#and and#[head in hands]#very much a vent post but if i didn't shout about it in the void i would genuinely start to cry mlre
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oh
#I am legitmatly cursed#o+<#just lost over two years worth of art and animation data#because. my piece of shit backup service i PAY TO BACK UP MY FILES#SAID IT BACKED UP MY FILES#AND FUCKING LIED\#installed this program thats supposed to back up files daily after i lost so much animation data the other times#Its not even me being careless at this point it was supposed to back up daily i even made it to it twice toda I didnt even do anything wron#g-d just fucking hates me#im gonna start sobbing#I have to line a three minute animatic from scratch#its just fucking gone#anything that was not posted to my blog from november 2023 to july 2025?#vanished#I don't even know how to feel#im so tired#and my hand hurts\#fuck man#fuck everything#personal#vent
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Before I went to bed I saw the Youtube notif that TADC was going to Netflix and it INVADED my dreams so vividly I have not had such an episodic sequential serialized cohesive dream in months it was literally its own chapter its own short story
#I was Pomni it was literally Pomni POV#Caine had cooked up some sporty adventure and I was like Ummm...... no#So I found a glitch where I could hide in a technically out-of-bounds area#I had a theory that if I stayed super close to the ground I wouldn't be in the range of Caine's mod powers or whatever#Some random girl was w me I don't think she was important#Anyways I started thinking “This could hurt. When they leave#the map will not have to exist.”#I'd be crushed by the nonexistence of the area I'm in. When they come back I'll load in somewhere slightly different#and be stuck in the walls."#DIDN'T HAPPEN everything was OK#But at some point I was like man... sure is boring and scary. Sure wish my friends were here.#So I ended up finding them anyway LMAO#I told them what happened cuz they were obviously concerned and Caine got his feelings hurt???#Like. surprising moment of clarity. Everyone was shocked and uncomfortable.#Bro was like “I try so hard for U guys 🥺 I just don't get it. Why didn't you just tell me you wanted to stay home??”#Most everyone was like IDC UR OUR JAILER!! CRY ABT IT!! but me and Ragatha were coerced into pity...#Like yeah whatever. Sorry man. I'll be honest next time and not do things that could make me die. I think we were just caught off-guard.#Exchanging glances like “Wow... didn't know he could feel anything!” Like imagine if ur Furby just had an emotional outburst#and felt remorse abt it. WYD.#I think we held his hands or sum cuz all my dreams end like a Barbie movie#Episode ended and I was like Wow :) Great show#Sorta off-topic but the cafeteria today started playing very quiet carnival music for Hoco and I literally felt chills up my back cuz#I had been thinking abt Pommy all day...#I used to be enraptured by clown motif what happened#Did I throw it up#For the best...... for the best.
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its been two days and my mom is already getting on my nerves. godbless i cannot wait until i move out🙏🏼
#z xarre#basically im like. sick. head hurts. low energy. hands hurt. theyre itchy. like im overall not doing great#EXCEPT that i dont look ill. so my mom gets MAD at me for the smallest things. like idk. BEING SICK#all i wanna do is rot in bed all day and my mom sends me death threats in her head. she doesnt voice them but i can feel them being sent#she cleans my room and i get mad bc shes moving my shit all over the place so i put the stuff back to where i had it#and she starts yelling at me. i tell her i have a headache and she keeps yelling at me.#she gets mad bc i dont wanna go outside and buy the bread today on the account of yknow. not feeling well. and she gets mad#this is no way to live ill tell yall that!
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