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scifrey · 8 years

Audio

On February 10th, 2017 I had the fantastic opportunity to speak to a group of students and faculty from Grant MacEwan University in Edmonton, Alberta, about Fan Fiction, Mary Sues, and #DiversityMatters.

Above is the audio (slightly cleaned up - please forgive my inability to clean it up further) and below transcript of that talk.

Transcript:

Mike Perschon:

So, our keynote speaker is J.M. Frey. And she is from the Toronto area. I can say the “Toronto-area,” that’s a quick way of saying–

J.M. Frey

It’s a good way of saying it.

Mike Perschon:

–it and everything.

Uh, she is a science fiction and fantasy author. She’s a pop culture scholar. She’s going to be talking to us about some of that stuff tonight. She often appears as a guest on podcasts, television, and radio programs. Okay, she’s got a book coming out later this year, the third in the series – the fantasy series – she’s has been writing for the past few years and, uh, she’s got a whole bunch of other creative projects on the go.

Tonight she’s going to be talking to us about how “Your Voice is Valid” and the idea of the “Mary Sue”.

So if you’ve seen that term in pop culture, and was confused what it was or, perhaps, gotten misinformation, you’ll find out exactly what that is.

[Applause truncated]

J.M. Frey:

Thank you very much for inviting me, everybody.

Thank you to the student organizers. Thank you to the faculty organizers. I really appreciate it.

I—ah-ah! First off, I’m gonna say: I’m going to have my notes with me, and I apologize, ‘cause talking for forty-five minutes is—a half hour! I promise, it’s a half hour!—without notes is a little much.

Um, so I just wanted to say thank you to Grant MacEwan for inviting me. Um, this is the first time in Edmonton, and I’m looking forward to exploring it. I think I was maybe promised roller coasters? I don’t know…

I do want to, in particular, thank you Mike for inviting me and for being my designated buddy while I’m here in Edmonton.  It is an honor to sleep in the same guest bed that Gail Carriger once slept in.

And secondly, I do want to say thank you to everyone else for being here. I do in my brain still think of myself in my brain think of myself as your age, even though I have been out of academia for… oh… a little bit over a decade. But I loved being you guys, I loved this moment of my life. Ah, this weekend is going to be so awesome, you have no idea.

But of course before the awesome happens, you’ve have to listen to a keynote and you’re probably wondering who this hobbit in the front of the room is, getting between you and these amazing burgers that I’ve heard about?

We don’t have “Red Robin”s in Ontario? So apparently I’m in for a treat. I’m very excited about it.

So, my name is J.M. Frey. I’m a science-fiction and fantasy author, a screenwriter, and a fanthropologist. And I have a declaration to make. A promise. A vow, if you will.

And it is this:

If I hear one more basement-dwelling troll call the lead female protagonist of a genre film a “Mary Sue” one more time, I’m going to scream.

I’m sure you’ve all seen this all before. A major science fiction, fantasy, video game, novel, or comic franchise or publisher announces a new title. Said new title features a lead protagonist who is female, or a person of color, or is not able-bodied, or is non-neurotypical, or is LGBTQA+.

It might be the new Iron Man or Spider-man, who are both young black teenagers now. The new Ms. Marvel, a Muslim girl. It could be Jyn Erso, the female lead of the latest Star Wars film, the deaf Daphne Vasquez from Switched at Birth, or Alex in Supergirl, who was just recently revealed to be a lesbian still coming to terms with her sexuality in her mid-thirties, or Dorian in Dragon Age, who is both a person of color and flamboyantly queer.

And generally, the audience cheers. Yay for diversity! Yay for representation! Yay for working to make the worlds we consume look more like the world we live in! Yaaaaay!

But there’s a certain segment of the fan population that does not celebrate.

I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about.

This certain brand of fan-person gets all up in arms on social media. They whine. They complain. They say that it’s not appropriate to change the gender, race, orientation, or physical abilities of a fictional creation, or just protest their inclusion to begin with. They decry the erosion of creativity in service of neo-liberalism, overreaching political-correctness, and femi-nazis. (Sorry, sorry – the femi-“alt-right”).

It’s not realistic – women can’t survive in space, they say, it’s just a fact. That is a direct quote, by the way. Superheroes can’t be black, they say. Video game characters shouldn’t have a sexual orientation, (unless that sexual orientation is straight and the game serves to support a male gaze ogling at half-dressed pixilated prostitutes).

And strong female characters have to wear boob armor. It’s just natural, they say.

They predict the end of civilization because things are no longer being done the way they’ve always been done. There’s nothing wrong with the system, they say. So don’t you dare change it.

And to enforce this opinion, to ensure that it’s really, really clear just how much contempt this certain segment of the fan population holds for any lead protagonist that isn’t a white, heterosexual, able-bodied, neurotypical, cismale, they do everything they can to tear down them down.

They do this by calling that a “Mary Sue.”

When fan fiction author Paula Smith first used the term “Mary Sue” in her 1973 story A Trekkie’s Tale, she was making a commentary on the frequent appearance of original characters in Star Trek fan fiction. Now, most of these characters existed as a masturbatory avatar – wanna bone Spock? (And, um, you know, let’s face it who didn’t?) They you write a story where a character representing you gets to bone Spock.

And if they weren’t a sexual fantasy, then they were an adventure fantasy – wanna be an officer on the Enterprise? Well, it’s the flagship of the Starfleet, so you better be good enough to get there. Chekov was the youngest navigator in Starfleet history, Uhura is the most tonally sensitive officer in linguistics, and Jim Kirk’s genius burned like a magnesium flare – you would have to keep up to earn your place on that bridge.

So this led to a slew of hyper sexualized, physically idealized, and unrealistically competent author-based characters populating the fan fiction of the time.

But inserting a trumped-up version of yourself into a narrative wasn’t invented in the 1970s. I mean, Aeneas was totally Virgil’s Mary Sue in his Iliad knock off, Dante was such a fanboy of the The Bible that he wrote himself into an adventure exploring it. Uh, Robin Hood’s merry men and King Arthur’s Knights of the Round Table kept growing in number, and characteristics with each retelling; and even painters have inserted themselves into commissioned pictures for centuries.

This isn’t new. This is not a recent human impulse.

But what Paula Smith and the Mary Sue-writing fan ficcers didn’t know at the time, was that they were crystallizing what it means to be an engaged consumer of media texts, instead of just a passive one. What it means to be so affected by a story, to love it so much that this same love bubbles up out of you and you have to do something about it.

Either in play, or in art. So for example, in pretending to be a ninja turtle on the play ground, or in trying to recreate the perfect version of a star fleet uniform to wear, or in creating art and making comics depicting your favorite moments or further adventures of the characters you love, or writing stories that encompass missing moments from the narratives.

“Mary Sues” are, at their center, a celebration of putting oneself and one’s own heart, and one’s own enjoyment of a media text, first.

So, heh, before I talk about why this certain segment of the population deploys the term “Mary Sue” the way it does, let’s take a closer look at this impulse for participatory play.

Here’s the sixty four thousand dollar question: where do “Mary Sues” come from?

I’d like you all to close your eyes, please.

Think back. Picture yourself outside, playing with your siblings, or the neighbour’s kids or you cousins…. and You’re probably around seven, or eight, or nine years old… and…

Think about the kind of games you’re playing. Ball games, chase games, and probably something with a narrative? Are you Power Rangers? Are you flying to Neverland with Peter Pan? Are you fighting Dementors and Death Eaters at Hogwarts? Are you the newest members of One Direction, are you Jem and the Holograms or the Misfits? Are you running around collecting Pokémon back before running around and collecting Pokémon was a thing?

Open your eyes.

That, guys, gals and non-binary pals, is where Mary Sues come from. That’s it. It’s as easy as that.

As a child you didn’t know that modern literary tradition pooh-poohs self-analogous characters, or that realism was required for depth of character. All you knew was that you wanted to be a part of that story, right.  If you wanted to be a train with Thomas and Friends, then you were a train. If you wanted to be a magic pony from Equestria, you were a pony. Or, you know, if you had brothers like me, then you were a pony-train.

Self-insert in childhood games teach kids the concept of elastic play, and this essential ability to imagine oneself in skins that are not one’s own, and to stretch and reshape narratives, is what breeds creativity and storytelling.

Now, think of your early stories.

You can keep your eyes open for this one.

As a child we all told and wrote stories about doing what, to us, were mundane everyday things like getting ice cream with the fictional characters we know and love.

So for example, my friend’s three year old tells his father bed time stories about going on walks through Home Hardware with his friends, the anthropomorphized versions of the local taco food truck and the commuter train his dad takes to work every morning. He doesn’t recognize the difference between real and fictional people (or for him, in this case, the stand ins that are the figures that loom large in his life right now as a three year old obsessed with massive machines). When you ask him to tell you a story, he talks about these fictions as if they’re real.

As we grow up, we do learn to differentiate between fantasy and reality. But, I posit that we never truly loose that “me too!” mentality. We see something amazing happening on the screen, or on the page, or on a playing field, and we want to be there, a part of it.

We sort ourselves into Hogwarts Houses. We choose hockey teams to love, and we wear their jerseys.  We buy ball caps from our favorite breweries, line up for hours to be the first to watch a new release or to buy a certain smartphone. We collect stamps and baseball cards and first editions of Jane Austen and Dan Brown. We want to be a part of it. And our capitalist, consumer society tells us to prove our love with our dollars, and do it.

And for fan creators, we want to be a part of it so badly that we’re willing to make it. Not for profit, but for sheer love.

And for the early writers, the newbies, the blossoming beginners, Mary Sues are where they generally start. Because those are the sorts of stories they’ve been telling yourselves for years already, right?

Yet as we get older, we begin to notice a dearth of representation – you’re not pony trains in our minds any more, and we have a better idea of what we look like. And we don’t see it. The glorious fantasy diversity of our childhoods is stripped away, narratives are codified by the mainstream media texts we consume, and people stop looking like us.

I’m reminded of a story I read on Tumblr, of a young black author living in Africa – who, I’m going to admit, whose name, I’m afraid, I wasn’t able to find when I went back to look for it, so my apologies to her –  and the story is about the first time she tried to write a fairytale in elementary school. She made her protagonist a little white girl, and when she was asked why she hadn’t chosen to make the protagonist back, this author realized that it hadn’t even occurred to her that she was allowed make her lead black. Even though she was surrounded by black faces, the adventures, and romance, and magic in everything she consumed only happened to the white.

This is not natural. This is nurture, not nature. This is learned behavior. And this is hegemony.

No child grows up believing they don’t have place in the story. This is something were are taught. And this is something that we are taught by the media texts weconsume.

Now, okay. I do want to pause and make a point here.

There isn’t anything fundamentally wrong with writing a narrative from the heterosexual, able bodied, neurotypical, white cismale POV in and of itself. I think we all have stories that we know and love and like to tell that are like that.

And people from community deserve to tell their stories as much as folks from other communities.

The problem comes when it’s the only narrative. The default narrative. The factory setting. When people who don’t see themselves reflected in the narrative nonetheless feel obligated to write such stories, instead of their own. When they are told and taught that it is the only story worth telling. ‎

There’s this really great essay by Ika Willis, and it’s called “Keeping Promises to Queer Children: Making Room for Mary Sue At Hogwarts“. And I think it’s the one – one of the most important pieces of writing not only on Mary Sues, but on the dire need for representation in general.

In the essay, Willis talks about Mary Sues – beyond being masturbatory adventure avatars for young people just coming into their own sexuality, or, um, avatars to go on adventures with – but as voice avatars. Mary Sues, when wielded with self-awareness, deliberateness, and precision, can force a wedge into the narrative, crack it open, and provide a space for marginalized identities and voices in a narrative that otherwise silences and ignores them.

This is done one of two ways. First: by jamming in a diverse Mary Sue. And making the characters and the world acknowledge and work with that diversity.

Or, second: by co-opting a pre-existing character and overlaying a new identity on them while retaining their essential characterization. Like making Bilbo Baggins non-binary, but still thinking that adventures are messy, dirty things. Or making Sherlock Holmes deaf, but still perfectly capable of solving all the crimes. Um… making James Potter Indian, so that the Dursleys prejudiced against Harry not only for his magic, but also for his skin color. Making Ariel the mermaid deal with severe body dysphoria, or giving Jane Foster PTSD after the events of Thor.

I like to call this voice avatar Mary Sue a Meta-Sue, because when authors have evolved enough in their storytelling abilities to consciously deploy Mary Sues as a deliberate trope, they’re doing so on a self-aware, meta-textual level.

So that is where Mary Sues comes from. But what is a Mary Sue? How can you point at a character and say, “Yes, that is – definitively – a Mary Sue”.

Well, Mary Sues can generally be characterized as:

-Too perfect, or unrealistically skilled. They shouldn’t be able to do all the things they do, or know all the things they know, as easily as they do or know them. For reasons of the plot expedience, they learn too fast, and are able to perform feats that other characters in their world who have studied or trained longer and harder find difficult. So like, for example, Neo in The Matrix.

-They are the black hole of every plot – every major quest or goal of the pre-existing characters warps to include or be about them; every character wants to befriend them, or romance them, or sleep with them, and every villain wants to possess them, or kill them, or sleep with them. Makes sense, as why write a character into the world if you’re not going to have something very important happen to them. So like, for example, Neo in The Matrix.

-A Mary Sue, because it’s usually written by a neophyte author who’s been taught that characters need flaws, has some sort of melodramatic, angsty tragic back-story that, while on the surface seems to motivate them into action, because of lack of experience in creating a follow-through of emotional motivation, doesn’t actually affect their mental health or ability to trust or be happy or in love. So, Like the emotional arc of, I dunno… Neo in The Matrix.

– A Mary Sue saves the day. This goes back to that impulse to be the center of the story. Like, Neo in The Matrix.

-And lastly, Mary Sues come from outside the group. They’re from the ‘real world’, like you and I, or have somehow discovered the hero’s secret identity and must be folded into the team, or are a new recruit, or are a sort of previously undiscovered stand-alone Chosen One. Like, for example, Neo in The Matrix.

Now, as I’ve said, there’s actually nothing inherently wrong with writing a Mary Sue. Neo is a Mary Sue, but The Matrix is still really good. So there’s nothing really wrong with it.

The first impulse of storytelling is to talk about oneself. All authors do it. Ww write about ourselves, only the more we write, the more skilled we become at disguising the sliver of us-ness in a character, folding it into something different and unique.

We, as storytellers, as humans, empathize with protagonists and fictional characters constantly – we love putting our feet into other people’s shoes. It’s how we understand and engage with the world.

And we as writers tap into our own emotions in order to describe them on the page. We take slices of our lives – our experiences, our memories, our friend’s verbal tics or hand gestures, aunt Brenda’s way of making tea, Uncle Rudy’s way having a pipe after dinner, that time Grannie got lost at the zoo (mouths: wasn’t my fault!) – and we weave them together into a golem that we call a character, which comes to life with a bit of literary magic.

I mean, allow me to be sparklingly reductionist for a second, but in the most basic sense, every character is a Mary Sue.

It’s just a matter of whether the writer has evolved to the point  in their craft that they’ve learned to animate that golem with the sliver of self-ness hidden deep enough that it is unrecognizable as self-ness, but still recognizable as human-ness.

That certain segment of the fan population has been telling us for years that if we don’t like what we see on TV or in video games, or in books, or comics, or on the stage, that we should just go make our own stuff. And now we are. And they are losing their goddamn minds! “Make your own stuff,” they say, and then follow it up with “What’s with all this political correctness gone wild? Uhg. This stuff is all just Mary Sue garbage.”

Well, yes. Of course it is. That’s the point. But why are they saying it like that?

Because they mean it in a derogatory sense.

They don’t mean it in the way that Paula Smith meant it – a little bit belittling but mostly fun; a bemused celebration of why we love putting ourselves into the stories and worlds we enjoy. They don’t mean it the way that Willis means it – a deliberate and knowing way to shove the previously marginalized into the center. They don’t even mean it the way that I mean it. And for those of you unfortunate enough to be in Dr. Perschon’s class, and have read The Untold Tale you’ll know: as a tool for carefully deconstructing and discussing character and narrative with a character and from within a narrative.

When a certain segment of the fan population talks about “Mary Sue”, they mean to weaponize it. To make it a stand-in for the worse thing that a character can be: bland, predictable, and too-perfect. Which, granted, many Mary Sues are. But not all of them. And a character doesn’t have to be a Mary Sue to be done badly, either.

When this certain segment of the fan population says “Mary Sue”, they’re trying to shame the creators for deviating from the norm - the white, the heterosexual, the able bodied, the neurotypical, the straight cismale.

When this certain segment of the population says “Mary Sue,” what they’re really saying is: “I don’t believe people like this are interesting enough to be the lead character in a story.”

When this certain segment of the population says “Mary Sue,” what they’re really saying is: “I don’t think there’s any need to listen to that voice. They’re not interesting enough.”

When this certain segment of the population says “Mary Sue,” what they’re really saying is: “This character is not what I am used to a.k.a. not like me, and I’m gonna whine about it.”

When this certain segment of the population says “Mary Sue,” what they’re really saying is: “Even though kids from all over the world, from many different cultural, religious and ethnic backgrounds have had to grow up learning to identify with characters who don’t look or think like them, identifying with characters who don’t look or think like me is hard and I don’t wanna.”

When this certain segment of the population says “Mary Sue,” what they’re really saying is: ”Even though I’ve grown up in a position of privilege and power, and even though publishing and producing diverse stories with diverse casts doesn’t actually cut into the proportionate representation that I receive, and never will, I am nonetheless scared that I’ll never see people like me in media texts ever again.”

When this certain segment of the population says “Mary Sue,” what they’re really saying is: “Considering my fellow human beings as fellow human beings worthy of having stories about them and their own experiences, in their own voices, is hard and I don’t wanna do it.”

When this certain segment of the population says “Mary Sue,” what they’re really saying is: “I only want stories about me.”

They call leads “Mary Sues” so people will stop writing them and instead write… well, their version of a “Mary Sue.” The character that is representative of their lived experiences, their power and masturbatory fantasies, their physical appearance, their sexual awakenings, their cultural identity, their voice, their kind of narratives.

Missing, of course, that the point of revisionist and inclusive narratives aren’t to shove out previous incarnations, but to coexist alongside them. It’s not taking away one entrée and offering only another – it’s building a buffet.

Okay, so who actually cares if these trolls call these diverse characters Mary Sues?

Well, unfortunately, because this certain segment of the population have traditionally been the group most listened-to by the mainstream media creators and the big money, their opinions have power. (Never mind that they’re not actually the biggest group of consumers anymore, nor no longer the most vocal.)

So, this is where you come in.

You have the power to take the Mary Sue from the edge of the narrative and into the centre. And you do can do this by normalizing it. Think back to that author who didn’t think little black girls were allowed to be the heroes of fairy tales. Now imagine how much different her inner world, her imagination might have been at the stage when she was first learning to understand her own self-worth, if she had seen faces like hers on the television, in comics, in games, and on the written page every day of her life.

And not just one or two heroes, but a broad spectrum of characters that run the gamut from hero to villain, from fragile to powerful, from straight to gay, and every other kind of intersectional identity.

You have the power to give children the ability to see themselves.

Multi-faceted representation normalizes the marginalized.

And if you have the privilege to be part of the passing member of the mainstream, then weaponize your privilege. Refuse to work with publishers, or websites, or conventions that don’t also support diverse creators. Put diverse characters in your work, and do so thoughtfully and with the input of the people from the community you are portraying. And if you’re given the opportunity to submit or speak at an event, offer to share the microphone.

–Sorry, I always get emotional at this part. Ah-heh!

The first thing I did when actor Burn Gorman got a Twitter account was to Tweet him  my thanks for saving the world in Pacific Rim while on a cane. As someone who isn’t as mobile as the heroes I see in action films - who knows for a fact that when the zombie apocalypse comes I will not be a-able to outrun the monsters – it meant so much to me that his character was not only an integral and vital member of the team who cancelled the apocalypse, but also that not once did someone call him a cripple, or tell him he couldn’t participate because of his disability, or leave him behind.

Diversity matters.

Not because it’s a trendy hashtag, or a way to sell media texts to a locked-down niche market, but because every single human being deserves to be told that they have a voice worth listening to; a life worth celebrating and showcasing in a narrative; a reality worth acknowledging and accepting and protecting; emotions that are worth exploring and validating; intelligence that is worth investing in and listening to; and a capacity to love that is worth adoring.

White, heterosexual, neurotypical, able-bodied cismales are not the only people on the planet who are human.

And you have a right to tell your story your way.

Okay, so I’ve basically spent thirty minutes basically cribbing my own MA thesis, and for what? Why? Well, you’re here for a conference focused on Narrative and Identity, right?

Calling something a “Mary Sue” in order to dismiss it out of hand, as an excuse to hate something before even seeing it, is how the trolls bury your Narrative and your Identity.  We are storytellers, all of us. Every person in this room.

Whether your wheel house is in fiction, or academia, or narrative non-fiction, we impart knowledge and offer experience through the written word, through the telling of tales, through leading a reader from one thought to another.

The root of the word “Essay” is the French “Essayer”. A verb meaning, “to try”. To try to convince the reader of a truth in an academic paper is no different than trying to convince a reader of an emotional truth in a fictional piece. Tout le monde doit essayer.

And we none of deserve to be shouted down, talked over, or dismissed. No one can tell you that your story isn’t worth telling. Of course it is. It’s yours.

And don’t let anyone call your characters, or your work, or you a ”Mary Sue” in the derogatory sense. Ever again. Ever.

Or I am going to scream.

Thank you.

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shamithad · 7 years

Text

A Letter For Happiness and Love in 2018

Dear my everything buddy,

This year has begun and we are already in a sad spot. It’s only been a few hours and I feel like we are down in the dumps with depressed thoughts swimming through our heads. I know it hasn’t been easy. I know there have probably been moments where you think, “why?” and I know there have been moments of tears and sleepless nights. I can’t say much other than, I’m sorry.

I know I’m not perfect. I never have been. But I know we are perfect for each other. Through our ups and downs we manage to find a way through. I think this is what makes us so wonderful. Even in the toughest of moments, we look for the good. I hope we can always be like this. Sometimes I make poor choices. I am seeing that more and more, and it’s hard for me to come to terms with that. I thought I was always doing everything, and I know that isn’t the case. But you deserve everything. You deserved it back in 2014 and you deserve it now. So I want to give you everything. I am not sure where to start, because there are a lot of places, but I will start thinking more. I will start finding opportunities and I will continue building our relationship up instead of knocking it down.

I know it can be hard to trust someone who is constantly letting you down. So I don’t blame you for having doubts. I don’t blame you or question you for anything. I know instead of trying to convince you to trust me, I need to earn that trust. And I can only earn it by doing something.

So my promise for 2018 is to do things. What a silly way of putting a new year’s resolution right? But I can’t think of a simpler way to say it. I wish to do things for us. While it won’t be immediate and it won’t be easy, I will do things. I will do things to make us happy, I will do things to make us excited for the next step in our relationship, and I will do things to always put a smile on your face and never let it leave. I want our 2018 to be even better than our 2017. I know it will be. I promise to be your everything buddy.

Just to relay how much more exciting our 2018 will be, I want to talk about some of our best moments in 2017, starting with January 1, 2017. I called you that night at midnight because we weren’t together. I wished so bad that I could spend that evening with you and it didn’t matter who was in the room with me then, it just mattered that I was with you in some way. So we talked and I wished you a happy new years not knowing how 2017 would turn out.

Then in February you went to Napanee and I missed you so much. But we had our own adventure driving to Montreal and going to places like Musique and that casino with your cousins. We stayed up so late that night even though we wanted to leave. But it wasn’t all that bad because I got to spend the night with you. And then we waited in line through a snowstorm to eat at a brunch place, who’s name I cannot remember. I don’t know how we did it but as I said before, it wasn’t as bad when I was doing it with you.

In March we went clubbing with all my cousins. You almost got kicked out of the bar. I don’t think we have ever been that drunk and I watched you puke in my trash bin quite a number of times. When you flopped on my bed it probably would have been a good idea to let you sleep, but I was worried you might choke on your puke. I sat at the side of the bed awake until 7am watching you sleep and realizing that I could do that every single day if I had to because you were worth it to me. That night was so much fun and the following day we slept for 16 hours. Those were some of the best 16 hours of sleep I have ever had.

April I went to a Raptors game with you. I believe it was one of our first ones together. It was so memorable because you had completely surprised me and I had a phenomenal time with you. That April I started a new tradition for my birthday with someone I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The Raptors won and I was convinced us and our cheering were their good luck charms.

At the beginning of May, I started my new summer student job at MTO and you were a part of all of it. You helped me prep for my interview, even though I didn’t want to. You gave me advice for my first day, and you called me that night to hear every single detail. It felt so good to share my exciting moments with you. I knew this was the first step in an exciting career and I was so happy I got to share it with you. The person who I love so much and wish to share everything with.

June came and it was the first time I was celebrating your birthday with you. I had no clue what to get you and I wanted to make it special. We went to Casa Loma and basically won that escape room thing. And then it was off to Joey’s for some drinks and dessert. I picked it especially because it had chocolate lava cake which I know is your favourite. I spent the entire day with you and it was perfect. Because for birthdays, all I want is to spend it with someone who truly matters in my life and I was happy you wanted to do the same.

July was one of the hardest months in my opinion. You went on vacation with your family and I missed you a lot. More than I have ever missed anyone in my entire life. I spent those two weeks crying because I couldn’t see you, I couldn’t talk to you and our conversations over text where limited. It was so hard going those few weeks without you. But that feeling when you came back but the most amazing feeling. Watching for your car and having you surprise me from the parking lot moved me to tears. I couldn’t believe I had you back after that period of time. I never wanted to be apart like that again.

In August I made the big move of telling my dad about you. I was so scared but I knew it was the right time. He had an interesting reaction but all-in-all I think we can say everything worked out in the end. You ended up meeting my parents too this month I think. It went a lot better than I thought it would and I knew they loved you the moment they saw us together because I loved you. Afterwards we went to Harper’s Landing and talked about the entire event. I love those chats at restaurants. Where we can talk about the most important things and the most random things.

We celebrated our one year in September. It was such a magical evening. We went to the CN Tower and you treated me to an amazing dinner. It was more fancy than I was comfortable with but you said I looked right at home, something that wasn’t the case a year before. We talked over an amazing Toronto skyline and I teared up thinking about how we made it a year. You got me flowers and a necklace that never leaves my sight. It felt like we were celebrating a wedding anniversary, that’s how special I felt that night.

October we took the step to making tradition with my family. We prepared a huge Thanksgiving feast from Turkeys to stuffing to garlic bread and mashed potatoes. You helped with food prep and we danced in my kitchen. The table was set for two more individuals this year and it made me so happy to know that this was going to be my family for the rest of my life. I was thankful to you and I was so thankful to share that evening with you.

In November we had a surprise date with my family. Or at least a surprise date my dad had planned. Do you remember guessing and guessing what it could be? It was the ultimate triple date and I realized how much had changed since August. First you were a stranger, where encounters with my parents were a little uncomfortable or a little too new. And now, you were there, drinking beer with my dad and bowling. It’s amazing what a difference 4 months could make. Also you kicked almost everyone’s butt in that last round of bowling!

Then this December my life changed for the second time since meeting you (the first being when you asked me out). In December, you proposed to me. We had been through a lot and it hadn’t been the easiest since I had moved back home but you proposed to me. After everything you still wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. That night we danced in your living room, in the condo we made home and you got down on one knee and asked me to spend the rest of my life with you. I cried then the same way I am crying right now as I write this post. Tears of joy are what I get when I think back to this moment and these tears will always re-surface when I think back to the perfect moment where you asked me to be your everything buddy forever.

In 2017 everything changed for me. I started as a student in a new relationship, with no clue where my life was going to take me. Now here on the first day of 2018, I am a happy crying working adult, engaged to you who I admire and love so much. Our 2017 was hard and scary at times. I didn’t know where I was going or what I was doing but I knew that no matter what, I had you to join me in my uncertainty. Now 2018 is here and I have the utmost positivity that we will experience more excitement and love. We will plan our life together and go on many more adventures. While it won’t always be sunshine and rainbows, I will be with you through all those darker, scarier times.

A new year means new adventures and I cannot wait to spend them with you.

From,

Your everything buddy

#love #everything buddy #long blog #new years #resolution #engaged #memories

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yourrainycollectorhologram-blog · 6 years

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Why quotes from Insurance advisers and comparison sites are significantly different in price?

"Why quotes from Insurance advisers and comparison sites are significantly different in price?

I've contacted two advisers regarding life insurance and critical illness cover. Both of them suggest difference insurers and their price is significantly different than the comparison sites. Do they get commission from insurers companies depending on their suggestions?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://freeautoinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Any advice would be helpful first my story I have meds that cost $1000 every month. I need insurance I have not had insurance since Peach-care about 3 years ago My job offers insurance for $2.50 a week my jobs insurance covers everything but my meds I get my meds for free with a prescription saving program I only make around $900 a month If I get my company insurance I no longer qualify for my free med program Any advice? I miss Peach-care they covered $100% of everything for only a few dollars. Is their any insurance that would cover 100% of my meds and dental, vision etc for no more than $100 a month?""

How much could my car insurance increase if I pay a 90.00 fine that included 1 point on my record?

I have a clean driving record so would it be worth paying the ticket and watching my insurance go up a few bucks? I can't imagine my insurance going up too much for a single point, but maybe I am totally wrong. Any advice on this matter would be much appreciated.""

Hit and Run Insurance Claim: How do you go about it?

I have case # from the police. Will the Insurance company send someone to check the car or should I have to get them quotes?

Auto accident in Texas insurance policy?

I was in a car accident today. It was the other driver's fault she admitted to the police that she was doing 60+ on a 40, she slammed her brakes but she couldn't stop so she rear ended me and made me hit the car in front of me, anyways the car I hit was scratch less (go figure) but my cars rear and front bumper will need replacement her car was almost totaled. I have liability insurance (96 honda) and she has Full-cover I would just like to know what's going to happen now? I have never being in a car accident before Will my insurance go up (I'm 19)?? will her insurance pay my damages??""

Approximately how much does car insurance cost for a typical 18 year old female?

Buying car insurance?

I've got my driving test in September and thinking about buying a car if I pass. I'm just a bit confused about how to buy a car and car insurance. Do I need to look around for a car I like, get all the details of the car, buy insurance for that car, then actually buy the car, in that order? Also are new cars or older cars cheaper to insure? I think it's newer cars but I'm not sure. Also what is a good car for cheaper insurance. I've heard Ford and Vauxhall are good for cheap insurance. I've been on price comparison sites and it seems that even if I have pass plus and just third party cover 2k per year is a minimum :( Thanks.""

What companies provide auto insurance for adult learners?

What companies provide auto insurance for adult learners? I am an international student in Ohio. I am older than 21. I get a learner's permit recently and am now looking to buy auto insurance. I am independent and can not be added to other people's policy. I have been searching the Internet, including Yahoo! Answer, for one week to buy auto insurance for adult learners. It seems the majority say I have to be added to other people's policy. Some say I can do it by myself without giving further details. It seems that no insurance companies are willing to give me a quote considering my situation. GEICO is willing to give me a quote one month before I get my DL. Are there some companies that give adult learners' auto insurance? Thanks in advance.""

""How much, on average, is car insurance?""

How much, on average, is car insurance?""

Whats the average price of car insurance for a teen with a 97 jet ta ?

How much does car insurance cost for a 16 year old?

I drive a 98 Toyota Avalon, I heard ur grades affect the rates but I'm not a straight A student, I don't really do really well in school so you don't wanna know my grades. But how much would my parents have to pay for my insurance? We live in California""

""I heard that if you have good grades, your insurance rate will go down.?""

I'm about to get my permit this summer, but I have one F (I'm not a slacker, but I just couldn't handle the work) Anyway, my mom said that if I don't get this F up, I can't get insurance, cause nobody will insure me. Is this true? Also, another question... Do I only need insurance on a car, or do I need my own insurance or could I drive my mom's car legally (when I have my permit)?""

What Insurance Company is this?

I saw this commercial that had this college girl and this other guy saying how much its going to cost her breakdown car. She texted him, dude i'm a college student or something like that. Its an insurance company that covers both accidental insurance and car breakdown coverage. What company was this??""

Can I get some advice about car insurance?

My and my wife are both insured on our car (Fully Comp.) and we are now about to get another car due to our work situation. Would the following method be the most cost-effective way for us both to be covered ? 1) For me to be fully insured for one car and my wife fully insured for the other, allowing us both to drive each other's car if necessary ? I am currently the registered keeper of our current car and I am the policy holder for it as well. I would be driving the new one when I get it and my wife would take over driving the current one. Thanks in advance""

""Is $150/month too much for auto insurance. 21, female, full coverage?""

I signed up for Allstates full coverage insurance for my 2006 Toyota corolla. I'm 21, female, and clean driving record so far. Is 150 per month too expensive?""

Will my parents insurance go up if I received a speeding ticket and I am not on their insurance?

I'm 17 and I recently got pulled over by a Louisiana State Trooper for going 84mph in a 60mph speed zone. I was driving my mother's car and she is insured with State Farm but I am not on the policy. I know I can plea guilty and take a class to get it off of my record but I hope it doesn't affect their car insurance rates......

How much does will my insurance pay? My car was totalled?

My car was in a serious accident, and is irrepairable. The insurance company is coming down in a day or two to check out the car. I was no at fault, police are still looking for the guy at fault. However, my car is done. Will my insurance company give me the value of replacing a car like that, like if I were to buy one again, or would they give me the book value?""

What is the cheapest car insurance?

I'm young and living on my own so I really need car insurance thats good but reasonably priced.

Is there insurance for Antique Cars?

Hi, I have a 1971 chevrolet camaro. Wanted to ask if there was insurance for antique cars? I know i could just get liability for this car but i was wondering if i could get better coverage for my vehicle? Thanks.""

I have full coverage on my car insurance..i accidently dented my car and broke the window my self what i do?

i have full coverage on my car insurance ,,i accidently broke the driver side window and dented the door my self,,what should i do? tell the insurance that somebody else did it and have them fix it?..they supposed to right?""

How much would insurance cost on a 2015 Mustang 4-cylinder ecoboost?

Just wondering if anyone has an idea on how much insurance will cost. The insurance for the V6 model I know will be somewhere around $400-$500 a month which is obviously too much for me. I plan on putting a 3k down payment for the Mustang and finance for possibly 4-5years. I also plan on selling my current car for a little over 2.2k. I believe this will only be possible for me to do if the insurance is around $300 a month. The Ecoboost mustang is a 4 cylinder 2 door muscle car but with a turbo engine putting about 305HP. It gets more mpg than the V6 but is faster than the V6. Thank you for any answers and I know for now nothing is 100% true until I actually get a quote. Oh I also live in the LA County area as I know this will sadly most likely increase the insurance cost by 40%.

""Who is the best, but affordable car insurance out there ?""

Just bought a new vehicle and have state farm insurance. But with the new vehicle, my insurance went up.""

How much is teen car insurance?

Im 16 and get my license next month. my parents are asking i pay car insurance so im looking for a rough estimate of what it would cost if i have my own car or not. im a girl with straight As and I've never been in any legal trouble. thanks!

Why quotes from Insurance advisers and comparison sites are significantly different in price?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/affordable-car-insurance-virginia-beach-katelyn-bolton-1/"

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joejstrickl · 7 years

Text

Canada 150: Meet Tim Hortons’ Biggest Fan

Tim Hortons has officially expanded in the UK, just opening its first location in Glasgow, Scotland to crowds and accolades from locals who may have encountered the brand on trips to Canada.

My 1st trip to @timhortonsuk & won't be the last. Excellent service & lovely staff, the cappuccino was spot on!Delighted to get a mug too pic.twitter.com/fZ0x0waRhS

— Mandy M (@mandydoll1983) July 6, 2017

Ironically, it’s not the first Tim Hortons in the UK—or Scotland, for that matter. Pining for his favorite brand from home, a Canadian exchange student at Glasgow University opened an unofficial Tim’s outpost 15 years ago—much to the delight of the company, which donated supplies and featured the story in an ad campaign.

We spoke with that uber-Tims fan, David Mole (right), to get his reaction to the company finally catching up with his big idea some 15 years later—and how he sees Tim Hortons today in the pantheon of iconic Canadian brands.

David, how did you come to open an unofficial Tim Horton’s at Glasgow University 15 years ago?

As an international exchange student from Queen’s University, it became abundantly clear to me within the first few weeks “on Campus” in Glasgow (University of Glasgow) that the “Canadian” student delegation was far outnumbered by our American cousins to the south. Canadians have an uncanny way of finding other Canadians when traveling, so after about 10 days I had found representation from coast to coast to coast – our 30-odd Canucks to their 120-odd Yanks. Sitting at a pub one night with my housemate James Allen and a few loud-mouthed and patriotic Americans it became clear that our US friends simply saw Canada as the 51st state—which we desperately argued!

That night, a light went off in my head—a perfect plan to demonstrate just how awesome Canada is, unique in both identity and character. It really started as a joke, to open an “unofficial Canadian embassy” on campus—to not only be there for homesick Canadians, but to invite everyone over to showcase our ‘true patriot love‘ and shining light.

We decided to call it “Caribou House” as a bit of a play on Canada House in London. So we had an awesome plan to transform our dingy five-room flat into some great tribute to Canada, but… we needed help. So I pledged to my fellow Canadians to write at least one letter a night to high-ranking Canadians and Canadian companies back home, imploring support.

I sketched out a page full of iconic Canadian brands and set to it. Within two weeks of my first salvo of this epic letter campaign. I had received amazing responses from across the country, including but not limited to: the Prime Minister (Jean Chretien), Molson Canada, Bauer Hockey, Canadian Tire, West Beach, and of course, Tim Hortons.

Tim’s and Molsons truly went out of their way to show their support… both of whose leadership had direct ties to Scotland. I had directed my letter to Tim’s co-founder Ron Joyce, a renowned philanthropist and all-around Canadian titan. His personal response was outstanding, as was Tim’s contribution.

I’ll never forget the day boxes upon boxes of coffee, trinkets and a brand new Tim Hortons-branded coffee machine showed up. So, with a little help from my ‘Embassy’ cohorts we set to it. It was time to show everyone in Glasgow just how awesome Canada is!

We went all around the University telling the story of ‘Tim’s’ and inviting people back to Caribou House to have a cup of the world-famous coffee through a sequence of parties. With a little help from our Australian friends, the parties got quite lively thanks to the fine folks at Bailey’s and the local Scottish contribution of a few “nips of Scotch.”

We were even successful in getting most of the American troupe out to celebrate Canadian identity with some delicious coffee. The whole thing was a thrilling “experience-of-a-lifetime” thanks in large part to Tim’s, Molson’s and the PMO.

Founding “Caribou House” led to a late night radio show with a friend from Ecuador and shooting an international student exchange documentary with a friend from Australia. Could it get any more Canadian, eh?

What was the reaction to the brand on-campus?

The reaction to Tim’s on campus was electric. It was an easy sell to locals for a number of reasons. As Tim Horton’s is sewn within the Canadian fabric, so too is IRN-BRU sewn within the Scottish fabric. I would often said, “This is our IRN-BRU,” this is who we are.

Also, many Scots have Canadian ties and anyone who’s been to Canada can’t deny the dominance of the Tim’s brand. The final way we won over the locals—other than having parties, supplying free coffee and just being Canadian—was to say, “You have your local pub, we have our local Tim’s. You have pints, we have the double-double.”

youtube

How did the 2003 TV commercial by Tim Hortons featuring Caribou House (featuring Charles Rennie Mackintosh‘s font, no less) come about?

Sadly saying bye to Glasgow in May of 2002, I returned home to Niagara-on-the-Lake. That fall I headed back to Kingston to complete my final year at Queen’s. One day, rather randomly, I received a letter from Enterprise Marketing in Toronto asking if I would be OK if our story could be used in an advertisement for Tim Horton’s. I said yes, and thought nothing of it.

A short while later I received another random phone call from an Enterprise executive asking me to be at the airport in a few days and that I was being taken back to Glasgow to film a “True Stories” commercial called “Missing Home.” The entire experience was amazing.

The commercial came out that winter and aired from coast to coast to coast in Canada for a few months. People would randomly come up to me on the street and say, “What a great story, I always miss Tim’s when I’m away from home. It’s the first stop I make when I get back.”

So what was your reaction when you heard that Tim’s was finally opening in Glasgow—and at Glasgow University—as their UK launch site last month?

The UK launch and, the fact that the first location was opening in Glasgow, was brought to my attention via social media by a dear old friend who I met on campus back in 2001/2002, Sarah McGee.

Sarah, and so many other amazing local Scottish friends who were part of the “Caribou House” pop-up, have been terribly excited about the news and that now, 15 years later, “Tim’s” has arrived. For me, as someone who follows Tim’s continual growth and success, I was really excited to hear of this latest and bold move into the UK market.

We’ve brought the spirit of Canada to Glasgow. We’ve brought some tasty treats with us too. pic.twitter.com/cly6TenqrB

— Tim Hortons UK (@timhortonsuk) June 21, 2017

Knowing the people both of Glasgow and the broader Scottish thumbprint, I really do believe they’re going to embrace the brand and high quality product. I vividly recall having conversations with top Tim’s executives while shooting the commercial about bringing Tim’s to the UK simply because there is a great cultural fit. Although Brits are known for a piping hot cup of tea, the model’s been there for centuries to sit down and enjoy each other’s company over a caffeinated beverage or two.

I was told then that the greater American market was first on the agenda. I do love traveling over to Buffalo or Niagara Falls, New York, and seeing Tim’s everywhere. I hope they keep on growing and building into many more American and global communities.

I honestly think it’s all of those great Canadian backpackers and exchange students, and those living in the UK, who really made this happen after decades of proudly extolling the Canadian virtues of hockey, Canadian beer, snowmobiling and the undeniable greatness of a Tim’s coffee.

Hands up, who's visiting our Glasgow store today? #CanadaDay #TimHortonsUK pic.twitter.com/2BZlrpj69j

— Tim Hortons UK (@timhortonsuk) July 1, 2017

What is it about the Tim Hortons brand that you love?

This is a great question. I was actually thinking about this the other day heading into work. It was early, 6:30 am-ish. I was in downtown Hamilton, on Barton Street. This particular Tim’s is smack dab between Hamilton General Hospital (one of Canada’s largest hospitals), Hamilton Wentworth Detention Centre (again, a big prison) and a handful of emergency homeless shelters, food banks, and addiction/recovery facilities… not to mention a large urban community.

As someone who now works in the social work/health field, I stood there in line and thought to myself, “Only in Canada, and only at Tim’s” would this happen. The cross-section of society and the demographic of those waiting in line (which was out the door by the way) was simply amazing. You had doctors and nurses going into work, recently-released inmates, city workers, two pastors, construction guys, those who had just been kicked out of (homeless) shelters and a few (drug) users coming off their night highs.

Looking around the store, I saw a pocket of old Italian men sitting at one of the long tables, righting all of the wrongs of the world (no doubt their daily tradition), an older lady reading a book with a muffin and a coffee, and a young couple—headphones in, on their laptops.

That to me is what Tim’s is all about… accepting of all, a place to come that makes everything just a little bit better even if just for the moment… in every cup. Tim’s, for me, is Canada. It’s what makes us great—no matter your race, religion, creed or calling. Still to this day, when friends or family are visiting Canada for the first time, I either meet them at the airport with a Tim’s or it’s our first stop. This is what we’re all about, and that I love.

We're in London for one day only at Trafalgar Square's #Canada150 celebrations visit us for brewed coffee, Timbits & Iced Capps! pic.twitter.com/IXvjnJkvLV

— Tim Hortons UK (@timhortonsuk) July 1, 2017

As you think about iconic Canadian brands, is Tim’s still top of your list?

Absolutely, hands down, Tim’s, in my opinion, is still top five with the big boys of Canadian brands like Molson/Labatts, Loblaws, Maple Leaf Sports, Canadian Tire, Bombardier, Blue Jays, Air Canada/WestJet, Bauer etc.

I bet if you were to take a tour across Canada, gauging the “pulse” of Tim’s in vastly different communities—from the far north to the prairies, from east to west—I bet you would see a similar thing I saw in Hamilton that early morning. For instance, two months ago I was doing some work on Six Nations, Ohsweken (reserve) and forgot to bring my lunch. Popping into the local Tim’s was fascinating. Again, a wide cross section of Indigenous and non-Indigenous people were there, enjoying the coffee, food and atmosphere.

As someone who has lived and traveled overseas throughout your career, what do you feel makes an iconic Canadian brand in general — especially as we celebrate Canada 150 and reflect on what makes Canada great, at home and abroad?

Some of my favourite brands all share a few core elements in common. First and foremost, they’re built on an imagination-captivating story. Look at Land Rover Jaguar — started in 1947 when a “Rover” engineer decided to rip about an old WWII US Army jeep on a beach in Wales in order to “build a better, more British all-terrain vehicle, the ultimate-all-terrain- vehicle,” Now look at the powerhouse that Range Rover is today all over the globe. To this day, they still celebrate that origin story and the countless adventures it led to—they challenge their customers to adventure “above and beyond.”

To me, what makes a Canadian brand “iconic,” like Tim’s, is the fact that they hit the nail on the head when it comes to “identity marketing.” That’s another core value of successful brands to me—winning the confidence of customers by letting them know “you get it,” i.e. it sucks being up at 5am for work, but, hell here’s a great cup of coffee.

Just look at the Toronto Blue Jays, another one of my most cherished Canadian brands. Having one of, if not the largest, fan bases in the MLB, I believe, can be attributed to the fact that they tap into the core of our identity: a small fish in a big ocean — and an “American Ocean” — fighting forward every game and actually winning… sometimes!

Is Tim’s any less Canadian to you since it’s been owned by Burger King?

Not in the slightest. I think if there was a dramatic drop in quality then there would be reason for alarm. Maybe it’s because I grew up only about five kilometres from the US boarder in Niagara-on-the-Lake or going to Buffalo regularly, or the fact a lot of Canadian brands like Molsons/Labatts are owned by foreign operators. I think the purchase of Tim’s by a much larger company is both a compliment to Canadians for helping build such a successful economic titan and provides an opportunity for us to share the Canadian story around the world.

I honestly can envision Tim’s being in every airport globally in the future, not to mention Australia, Scandinavia and broader parts of eastern Europe and Russia. The brand potential is really there. Watch out, McDonald’s!

Get more branding insights in our Q&A series. Suggest a Q&A: [email protected].

The post Canada 150: Meet Tim Hortons’ Biggest Fan appeared first on brandchannel:.

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markjsousa · 7 years

Text

Canada 150: Meet Tim Hortons’ Biggest Fan

Tim Hortons has officially expanded in the UK, just opening its first location in Glasgow, Scotland to crowds and accolades from locals who may have encountered the brand on trips to Canada.

My 1st trip to @timhortonsuk & won't be the last. Excellent service & lovely staff, the cappuccino was spot on!Delighted to get a mug too http://pic.twitter.com/fZ0x0waRhS

— Mandy M (@mandydoll1983) July 6, 2017

David, how did you come to open an unofficial Tim Horton’s at Glasgow University 15 years ago?

What was the reaction to the brand on-campus?

youtube

How did the 2003 TV commercial by Tim Hortons featuring Caribou House (featuring Charles Rennie Mackintosh‘s font, no less) come about?

So what was your reaction when you heard that Tim’s was finally opening in Glasgow—and at Glasgow University—as their UK launch site last month?

The UK launch and, the fact that the first location was opening in Glasgow, was brought to my attention via social media by a dear old friend who I met on campus back in 2001/2002, Sarah McGee.

We’ve brought the spirit of Canada to Glasgow. We’ve brought some tasty treats with us too. http://pic.twitter.com/cly6TenqrB

— Tim Hortons UK (@timhortonsuk) June 21, 2017

Hands up, who's visiting our Glasgow store today? #CanadaDay #TimHortonsUK http://pic.twitter.com/2BZlrpj69j

— Tim Hortons UK (@timhortonsuk) July 1, 2017

What is it about the Tim Hortons brand that you love?

We're in London for one day only at Trafalgar Square's #Canada150 celebrations visit us for brewed coffee, Timbits & Iced Capps! http://pic.twitter.com/IXvjnJkvLV

— Tim Hortons UK (@timhortonsuk) July 1, 2017

As you think about iconic Canadian brands, is Tim’s still top of your list?

Is Tim’s any less Canadian to you since it’s been owned by Burger King?

Get more branding insights in our Q&A series. Suggest a Q&A: [email protected].

The post Canada 150: Meet Tim Hortons’ Biggest Fan appeared first on brandchannel:.

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esprit-de-corps-magazine · 7 years

Text

ROBERT ENGLISH: A fighter pilot's own story and an enduring mystery

(Volume 24-01)

By Larry D. Rose

Robert English was a Canadian Spitfire pilot from St. Catharines, Ontario, a bright and personable young man who was killed right at the end of the Second World War in circumstances that are still murky and mysterious.

His warmth and decency shine through — even after all these years — in 75 letters he sent home, kept by his family in a scuffed brown suitcase as weathered as the letters inside it. In his clear and even script, Robert wrote of his progress from the time he joined the Royal Canadian Air Force in 1942 to April 1945, when he disappeared while on fighter reconnaissance operations in Italy.

It is a thrilling journey: a young Canadian flying the legendary Spitfire in the midst of the greatest upheaval of the twentieth century. He was helping to make history. He wrote about some exotic travels, mixed in occasional humour but, every now and again, his letters make it clear that he was a long, long way from home.

At the start he was tentative, a bit awkward, every bit a teenager. After his first flight in a twin-engine Avro Anson aircraft he exclaimed, “I was very excited.” At another point he wrote, “Pay day, Oh Boy!” But over time the tone changes to one in which he understood the dangers very well. After being overseas for a year or so, he wrote, “We’ve got to finish this thing” — he was determined to go on.

In the letters Robert Mould English — called Bob or Bobby by the family — invariably referred to his hometown of St. Catharines as “St. Kitts.” While he was born there, he grew up mostly in Edgewater, New Jersey because his father, a plumber, couldn’t find work in Ontario during the Depression. All the letters in the suitcase were addressed to his parents, Richard and Hilda (née Mould) English.

Despite the American connection, Robert always considered himself a Canadian and was determined to join the Royal Canadian Air Force, which he did, at age 18 on August 24, 1942. His RCAF service records show that shortly after enlisting he was interviewed by Pilot Officer W.D. Gilmore who gave a clear impression of the young recruit. Gilmore wrote, “Just 18 — nice type of lad … intelligent and alert — assertive and well organized … slender build, frank, sincere, and definite in responses … promising material.” That opinion was seconded more than 70 years later by one of Robert’s cousins who lives today in Mississauga, Ontario. Gert Penwill, now 94, described him as “outgoing” and “a good kid.”

Robert was a smaller man, only five feet seven inches and, at this point, just 120 pounds but, with the tough Depression years just ending, that was not so different from many recruits of the time. He had wavy blond hair, and in some of the pictures in a family photo album, a shy kind of smile.

Robert did basic training at an initial training school in Toronto and then took his first step toward gaining his pilot’s wings at No. 20 Elementary Flying School in Oshawa, Ontario. Both schools were a part of the colossal British Commonwealth Air Training Plan (BCATP) — between 1940 and 1945, some 151 schools were established across Canada — which trained 131,500 aircrew for Canada, Britain, Australia and other Allies during the war.

Students first learned to fly the diminutive but sturdy de Havilland Tiger Moth biplane. For a considerable number of aspiring airmen even this simple aircraft was too much. After only three weeks, 10 out of the original 42 students in Robert’s group had washed out. Robert exclaimed to his parents that, at the rate things were going, there wouldn’t be anyone left by the end of the course.

Romance found its way into the early letters as Robert, rather candidly, told his parents, “I met a very nice girl in Toronto. Don’t laugh.” However, in time it becomes clear that he had been in touch with a young woman he went to school with in New Jersey, whom he only referred to in the letters as “Miem.” Gert Penwill identified her as Emilie Schwehm, a young woman who later became a school teacher. Robert and Emilie became much more serious as time went along and by 1945 Robert was hoping to marry her as soon as the war was over.

Oshawa and Toronto were good postings for Robert because at this time his parents were living in Buffalo, New York and he had relatives both in “St. Kitts” and Toronto. He passed his elementary pilot’s course and in the spring of 1943 was posted to Dunnville, Ontario, west of Hamilton. There, and at 14 other schools across Canada, many students flew the Harvard single-engine trainer, one of the iconic training planes of the war. There are dozens of Harvards still flying today, the mere sight of which still conjures up near-religious fervour in pilots young and old alike.

Robert found the Harvard a “hot” aircraft compared to the Tiger Moth, but then the Tiger Moth took off and landed at 40 miles an hour, so anything more than that might have been considered hot. Despite being a trainer, the Harvard was not easy to fly. On landing or taxiing it was very prone to “ground looping,” which meant the plane skewed to one side, possibly scraping a wing in the process. Robert loved the Harvard, saying after his first flight, “What a ship. Really lovely,” but he acknowledged, “it’s no toy.”

During the war, 856 trainees were killed in air crashes and accidents. Pilots got lost in bad weather or just plain lost, there were mechanical failures, and all too often students were killed while attempting foolish stunts. In Robert’s letter of June 25, 1943 there were sobering words that one of the student pilots had been killed, although exactly what happened is not clear. Robert said, “The C.O. gave us quite a talk … and he’s making things pretty tough … He had lots to say, all unpleasant.” The prospect of death had become a sudden reality.

On August 20, 1943, while on a course in Calgary, Robert announced to the family that he had won his wings. A telegram read: “DEAR FOLKS POSTED CALGARY ALBERTA INVITATIONS WINGS PARADE … LOVE BOB.” This was an optimistic time for the Allied forces that were, more and more, reversing years of German and Japanese victories. As Robert’s telegram was being sent, Canadian, British and American soldiers had just cleared Italian and German forces out of Sicily.

* * * * *

Pilot Officer Robert English was ordered overseas, sailing for England on October 12, 1943. He arrived at the Canadian Personnel Reception Unit in Bournemouth, which in sunnier days had been a resort town. At this point, Robert and many others in the RCAF were caught up in an enormous logjam, with airmen waiting to be sent to a training squadron or base. Robert still did not know if he would be a bomber or a fighter pilot.

He wrote a reassuring letter: “I’ve been reading the papers and they sure are optimistic in this theatre … I’m well and fit and eating like never before. Don’t worry.” However, he was bothered by the inactivity. “A nice quiet life. So quiet in fact that I’m about to go nuts ... We are eager to be flying again.”

Soon it was coming up to Christmas, which undoubtedly was the hardest time for anyone away from home during the war. Robert spent two Christmases overseas and from his letters it was obviously emotionally difficult for him. Letters and packages from home meant everything, especially at that time of year. Robert’s family and even his former co-workers at an export company where he worked before he joined up sent parcels packed with cake or cookies, canned fruit, socks and the one thing that almost everyone asked for again and again — cigarettes. Everyone smoked and cigarettes were also often used to repay favours or reward friends.

At Robert’s base there was a traditional turkey dinner and later someone sat down at the piano for a Christmas singsong. “I’ll be thinking of you on Christmas day,” Robert wrote while saying at least he had the company of a good friend, bomber pilot Pat Mahoney. “The only time I got a little blue was when Pat and I sat in a corner and started talking about home.”

In March 1944 Robert was sent to a training squadron while at the same time being promoted to the rank of flying officer. Many Canadian airmen in Britain were being posted to bomber squadrons at this time, but Robert was sent instead to train on “single engine kites,” as he called them.

After a gap of three months, there was a dramatic change. A letter Robert sent home on June 27, 1944 was postmarked, not from England, but Egypt. He had been put on a troop ship to the Middle East. Robert said his impressions were “heat and dirt,” but he was there for only a short time before being sent to what was then Palestine. “We went to Tel Aviv yesterday,” he wrote, “for a swim in the Mediterranean.” Later he spent a short time in Syria, but he does not say what he was actually doing or what squadron he was with.

Then, what he himself referred to as “a milestone,” occurred on August 27, 1944: “After one year as a pilot I flew my first operational aircraft. It was a Hurricane … we’ll be flying Spitfires soon. That will be a happy day.” The Spitfire flight took place only three weeks later, which Robert said went well, and as for Spitfires, “I’m crazy about them.” By this time in the war, the fighting in the Mediterranean theatre had shifted to Italy, where the Allies were pushing German forces north toward the Po River.

On November 1, 1944 Robert reported, “Your son is in Italy.” He was sent to the Naples area and posted to No. 208 Squadron, Royal Air Force, becoming one of tens of thousands of Canadians to serve with RAF squadrons during the war. No. 208 was a photo reconnaissance squadron which had moved to southern Italy in March 1944 and immediately begun operations in support of the British Army’s V Corps, which was made up of three British divisions and one from the Indian Army. The squadron flew Spitfire IX’s, a late model of the aircraft.

As the Allied armies advanced through Italy the squadron leapfrogged from airfield to airfield behind them, taking part in a number of battles including one at Monte Casino. From September 1944 until April 1945 the squadron carried out as many as 500 reconnaissance flights a month, but it also did some ground attacks. With Robert’s posting to that squadron, it would only be a matter of time until he saw action.

While he must have been absorbed with the task at hand, his thoughts were also turning to the future — after the war was over. In words that are almost aching to read today, Robert wrote in one letter, “When I get back I want to get into something I like and lead a normal happy life. My one big ambition is to buy a house.”

Robert also said there was a lot of anger in his squadron over newspaper reports that Lady Astor, the British politician, had criticized those serving in Italy, calling them “D-Day Dodgers.” She implied that they had somehow angled to avoid the hard fighting in Normandy and had a soft touch in Italy. Today, many survivors of the brutal and costly Italian campaign call themselves D-Day Dodgers as a kind of badge of honour, and commemorate their losses and their contribution to victory each June. If there is any doubt of how costly the campaign was and how long the casualty list is — more than 5,900 Canadians were killed in the 20-month-long campaign — any visitor to Italy is welcome to view the Canadian graves at war cemeteries like Agira in Sicily, Coriano Ridge near Rimini or, for that matter, the Commonwealth War Cemetery in Florence, where Robert Mould English rests today.

* * * * *

Very likely Robert began combat flying about mid-February, 1945. On the ground, fighting pitted determined German troops along with Italian fascist holdouts against Allied troops and anti-fascist partisans, with the partisans having recently managed to kill a Luftwaffe general. In Robert’s last letter home, dated March 25, 1945, he said he had flown 35 sorties. Squadron flights ranged across Italy, but included the Italian west coast, near the port of La Spezia where troops of the American Fifth Army were battling north. All fighting in Italy ended on May 2, when German forces in Italy finally surrendered.

However, to go back a bit, the No. 208 Squadron history said that on April 15 “twenty-eight sorties were flown, [but] three pilots failed to return from reconnaissance missions their fate being unknown.” One of the missing aircraft was flown by Robert English. He either bailed out or crash landed near La Spezia after his Spitfire was hit by ground fire. At first, Robert was listed as missing and only later listed as “presumed dead,” but exactly what happened after his plane crashed was not clear at that time. For some months the only thing the family knew was that he was missing. So what had happened?

There may have been inquiries as soon as the war ended, but they are not in Robert’s service record. However, among his papers is the summary of an investigation the Royal Air Force conducted in 1948. When looking through military records there is always the prospect that something unexpected will be uncovered and that is the case with Robert’s service file. The RAF report is heartbreaking.

The inquiry concluded that Robert English and a second pilot both survived their aircraft being shot down and were taken prisoner. They were put into a local jail, but the report does not say by whom. Three days later, the two were taken out of the jail and shot “while trying to escape.” There can be little doubt that the last part was a fabrication. Most likely the two men, along with an Italian officer, were simply murdered.

The investigation quoted local residents as saying the prisoners were shot by Italian guards, possibly one of the fascist holdout groups, but it is also possible that retreating German troops or the SS were responsible. There is no evidence anyone was ever arrested for the crime and, after all these years, other details remain a mystery and more will probably never be known.

Robert English, the boy from “St. Kitts,” was one of more than 17,000 members of the Royal Canadian Air Force who perished during the Second World War. Robert’s parents died some years ago so today the suitcase, heavy with letters, memories and heartbreak, has now passed to Robert’s cousin, Gert Penwill, and her son, Grant.

Also in the suitcase is a book of photos showing Robert as a young boy and then as a young officer in the RCAF. In other pictures he is with some of his pals in London, and then later photos show him in a group at the pyramids. Among the most poignant pictures are the last two in the book: one shows Hilda English and the other her husband, Richard, each beside the gravestone of their only child, Robert, at the cemetery in Florence. When he died he was just 20 years old.

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