#my dating history is 70% because I love flattery

[loftwingsuarus]

@turtle-ly alright so funny story, I’m walking off campus while on a phone call

random guy: Your dress is so pretty

Me, a person who loves flattery: Oh thanks!

I keep walking, because I think he’s giving me a compliment and moving on.

My side of the phone call: It’s a 2003 honda accord. 150 miles. Yeah, it’s pretty good. They’re asking for three thousand eight hundred, but they’re willing to negotiate. I haven’t bought it yet, I need to set up insurance and registration. Just needed to know the cost of repairs, so I could factor that in to negotiate the price. I’ll call you next week. Thank you!

I turn around, and Random Guy is still there

Random Guy: Hey, I just wanted to talk to you. That sounded like an important phone call, though.

At this point I have a pretty decent idea of why he’s following me

Me: It was.

Random guy: Hey, so I think you’re beautiful, and if you don’t have a boyfriend or anything like that, maybe you could give me your number?

Me: Number or snapchat?

Random guy: I don’t have snapchat.

Me, a person who loves putting men on the spot: What, just because of the way that I look?

Random guy: I mean, I look for other qualities in women... You know, intelligence, humor...

Me: And what if I don’t have any of those qualities?

Random guy: I bet you do.

Me, a person who loves flattery: You know what? Sure. Just becuase you actually have the balls to talk to me. But if you don’t text me first, I’m not texting you at all.

Random guy: I’m definitely texting you later.

At this point I give him my number

Me: Well, I'm busy right now. See ya.

And I’m walking to my car, and then right before I get in, I think

"Goddamn it, I just forgot that I’m literally gay."