#my friends r so sick of me theyre out here having jobs n shit and then they check their twt timeline

[natsmagi]

My friends think I'm insane cause I keep linking them to your fem natsumugi art going WOMEN. Like listen people i just think women are very neat and the women you are are very very neat

HEKUASHWKDH PLEASEEEEEEEE THATS SO REAL THOUGH women are super neat you are right. Doing my best to spread the word so i thank you for spreading the message further. everyones life would be better with a daily dose of women

[maplecourtesy]

TAZ:G NOTES, EPISODE 38

god okay. it’s finale time. this ones a long one im both very scared and very excited. the setup they did in the last episode was SO cool i’m very hyped for this

OKAY OKAY WE ARE STARTING.

and going STRAIGHT into a boss battle with CHAOS BUILD CHARACTERS this is so sick

[most of the content under the cut, because spoilers!!]

CAN I JUST SAY, THE USE OF THE WORD HERO IN THE EPISODE DESCRIPTION VS TRAVIS’ EXPOSITION BEFORE THE BATTLE. “we need some heroes.” vs “at some point in the past this might have been a job for a hero. but not now, not anymore.” i love that. so much. ive said it before and ill say it again one of the sexiest parts of grad is the way they redefined heroes and villains.

oh right holy shit chaos and order shouldn’t have been able to exist together,, chaos and order are at such ends now that theyve completely split,, chaos no longer relies on order thats so sexy

RELEASE THE KRAKEN VERY POGGERS ACTION NAME they r so cool and powerful i love them

IMAGINE taking 20 damage from fitzroy just being in ur VICINITY

oh i forgot about gray he and althea are there right

BIG SNIPPERS??!??!!?!? BIG SNIPPERS. MY BABY BOY I LOVE HIM.

im so tired of order can they do something cool instead of blinding the one pc who’s not even gotten a turn yet

FUCK SHIT UP ARGO awesome thats 66 damage good for him he is JUST like loki

hey this ethereal music kinda vibes

everyone is kittens. hm.

ENJOY THESE MEOW-TEORS meow

i am very happy about all the meowing but also i think its very funny that justin said hes gonna dislike any firbolg art he sees

FURBOLG

fitzroy kitty cat rage…. what are we even doing here whats going on

i wish that grays first epic move wasnt as a kitten but i can work with this

FITZROY GIVES GRAY HIS MAUL??? i think this is the peak of the sibling dynamic between them. bickering and complaining but cooperating when it really matters

GOD. how are we having every fucking cartoon trope in one battle. u guys know in cartoons when they like get put through some beam and u see into different universes or whatever and theyre cats and they have a body swap and maybe theres a sock puppets one. this is that.

GRIFFIN FIRBOLG IMPRESSION

maplekeeners stay winning

argo does a sexy graceful reverse dive but he also looks like fitzroy so thats fitzroy. good.

NOW THEYRE THE REAL GUYS. i hate this

cannot believe im listening to justin mcelroy roleplay justin mcelroy sending meteors at a horde of hellhounds

GRIFFIN MCELROY PUSHES GRAY THE DEMON PRINCE TO THE GROUND SAYS SOME COOL MOVIE LINE AND CASTS THE BIGGEST THUNDERWAVE EVER.

SNIPPERS KAIJU

THIS IS THE SOCK PUPPET AND THE DIFFERENT ANIMATION STYLE BIT OF THE CARTOON TROPES.

fuck off travis give me animated taz

i do like this music a lot its got video game vibes

DIFFERENT CLINT MCELROY??? disgraced dj clint mcelroy x janitor clint mcelroy fanfic /j please dont

AUDIENCE??? thats me im the ones cheering

THUNDERMAN LOVE LANGUAGE IS HANDS ON SHOULDERS. and now they are both clouds of gas

fuck that is so cool fitzroy is the coolest hes just shooting lightning out of his hands and its his cool lightning illuminating him. THATS a painting

AW WHAT. HEYYY WHAT ORDER STOP IT IT WAS GETTING GOOOOD.

chaos i like u so much. i’m a chaos sympathist and apologist now i adore them

mission imp-hospital <3

oh my god what the hell i just got chills i love this so much,, everyones a hero,,, this fucks .,, theyve destroyed capitalism and systemic injustice i love them very much

A BALANCE HAS SHIFTED.. THE WORLD HAS TURNED TO CHAOS.

i am so enamored with how travis described that this makes me so happy

order i hope u die powerless and fearful

THEYRE SINGING THE THUNDERMEN SONG. GOD I LOVE THEM…

it would be very sexy if they did just cut to black i wouldnt be mad.

CHAOS E N D ORDER. PLEASE. U DESERVE THIS CHAOS.

GO TO HELL. INCREDIBLE. FUCK THATS SO GOOD good firbolg lines today as always.

FIRBOLG IS GRAYS FAVORITE?!?!?

chaos i love u very much. i think they deserve to have whatever they want ever

FITZROY LETTING HIM KEEP HIS MAUL,,

obsessed with gray calling fitzroy his best friend right after saying the firbolg was his favorite and then ending their last conversation ever by telling argo he’s his son.

althea and barb r girlfriends <3

literally what happened to rainer btw where is she

leon and buckminster r boyfriends <3

OH RAINER HI THERE SHE IS

thunderman llc doesn’t have time for labels

OH THE MUSIC… THIS BRINGS ME BACK

i like it very much that during taz graduation, instead of graduating, they became anarcho-anticapitalists and took down the entire school system.

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 5 YEARS. we’re doing a timeskip ending…

btw where did the fucking time travel fit into this i’m still confused about that.

okay but do they not sail away on a ship together. on argo’s new ship.

he’s just… fitzroy maplecourt now!!! wow…. that character arc is so near and dear to my heart. from forcing people to call him by his full name and his full title to relieving himself of the titles completely.. guys i love fitzroy

FITZROY BOYCLOAKS MAGAZINE COVER PAGE 8 ISSUES IN A ROW AND HES STARTED A WOODLAND CREATURE FASHION LINE AND HES RICH. he helps out his parents too that’s so sweet.. And he’s got a beard.

JUST PLAIN OLD FITZROY<3333333333 ouhgh,,, this is so cute… he’s getting closure. and he gets to give a cool speech…. about anarchism………. and going to fucking Law School. oh that’s very good..

does. the firbolg settle down. ill fucking lose it. DOES THE FIRBOLG FUCK THE TINY GARY. I CAN’T DO THIS I COULDN’T DO THIS. THIS IS THE FUCKING WORST PLEASE DON’T. does the firbolg BECOME a gary!?!?!?!?!? what the fuck is happening i’m so confused please stop. can we just go back to having the thundermen be friends so the firbolg isn’t lonely. please. i’m going fucking insane this can’t be how the firbolg ends i can’t fucking do this i can’t call him gary. his name can’t be gary. NotLikeThis.

IS THIS A GARY COMMERCIAL. I HATE THIS

OKAY ARGO TIME PLEASE HAVE A GOOD ONE ARGO PLEASE.

argo on the firboat!!! what will he do!!!

A CRUISE SHIP YES. FUCK YES OKAY I CAN WORK WITH THIS. what the fuck does he mean by the firbolg experience. why is there a theme song oh god oh no.

i’m in hell order’s gone to hell and taken me with them. how did he fucking come up with this. AND he ends with the thunderman llc. good.

OH THEY’RE ALL ON THE CRUISE SHIP… cute i like this

HE COMMANDEERS THE COMMODORES FLEET AND HAS TURNED THEM INTO A CRUISE SHIP LINE

oh,,, fitzroy suggesting they go for one last fight? ;; cute as well.

DON’T JOKE ABOUT GRAD2ATION I WILL CRY. ISN’T THE NEXT ARC SET ON THE SEAS. DON’T JOKE ABOUT THIS

oh ;;;;;w;;;;;;;;; fitzroy………<3 he has grown so much,, no more considering himself above his companions,, he is just fitzroy maplecourt and he loves and misses his pals. and because of this he will get a cruise ship based on him.

YEAHHHHHH FRONT FOR PIRACY. GOOD.

oh my god,, fitzroy becomes a robin hood of the seas.

they all miss each other ;;;; <3

ARE WE GONNA END WITH THE THEME SONG. CHRIST. OKAY.

no this fucking sucks actually. goodbye everyone. it’s been nice.

AWWW THE END MUSIC… wowowowowow they brought it full circle with the soundtrack and ended with laughing and a fun little fitzroy joke. i’m happy with that :]

i’ll miss the thundermen so very much,, i don’t know how excited i am for the next arc it kinda rests on the pcs,, i prefer griffin’s pcs over when he dms but let’s see!!! well pogchamp fun end to perhaps my favorite taz arc!!!!<3333333

[gyll-yee-haw]

hi baby!💚okay... IF you r comfortable w this subject... what about... seb was filming (something) in (anywhere) (lots of details, i know) right before quarantine, the reader (seb's friend) that lives in that city was really worried abt him getting on a plane, airports and all.. and asked him to wait like a week to come back to ny (in her house obv) a week later its announced the quarantine, all the chaos, now theyre stuck together and some.. feelings or needs.. are really taking a toll on them

Hi, babyy! I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot lately! Thank you so much for the request!  This must be the fluffiest smut I’ve ever wrote? I’m soft... Hope you like it!

---

The news were scary. You had no idea it would get a lot worse, but still, you didn't want your best friend to get sick. He had just finished his latest movie and didn't have any new projects for now. So you insisted for him to spend just a few more days at your house, only until the situation was back to normal. Of course you didn't have to beg that much. You and Sebatian were childhood friends and his crazy career never allowed you two to have fun like the old times. What you didn't know was that at some point it wouldn't be a choice anymore. The airports closed and he couldn't go anywhere, not even if he wanted to. At first, you felt absolutely terrible. Like you forced him to stay there with you, instead of being home. But he was grateful. He would lose his mind if he had to go through all this on his own, and both of you couldn't ask for a better company. It was all about playing games, watching movies, dancing to 80's soundtracks, eating cereal at 2am cause time is an illusion... And there was this one day when it was your turn to pick the movie. "The covenant." You gasped. "I would personally rather die." Sebastian rolled his eyes. "What?" You laughed. "It's a classic! Come ooon! For the memories... I remember visiting you on that set. And we used to party a lot with those boys and..." "Fine." He tried to hold back his smile and the fact that he knew it would actually be fun. "I always do everything you want anyway." "Cause you're the best friend in the world." You said as you searched for the movie on your laptop. Half a movie later, you two already had tears on your eyes from laughing so much. Back in the year it was released, you used to thing those special effects and the acting were AWESOME. But now, it was hilarious. "God, why are you doing this to us?" Seb rubbed his eyes in pure shame. "Sebastian..." You tried to sound disappointed. "You just don't get it... the idea of living in such an aesthetically pleasant dark place with your girl friends and each one of you have a wizard boyfriend??? Fuck, my heart can't take this, I'm numb." "You're so dramatic." He laughed out loud. "It's true, though." You shrugged. "That movie is hot as fuck if you ignore a few things..." "Hot?" He mocked. "Didn't know you were into these weird stuff." "I'm into a lot of weird stuff." You admitted. "Like what?" He asked, kinda seriously now. "You don't want to know." You blushed a little. "Come on..." He insisted. "What if this is the end of the world?" "What exactly are you suggesting?" You raised your eyebrows. "That we should totally fuck cause the world is ending and you have no better options?" "I didn't say that." He tried to hold your arm, but you stood up quickly. "I'm going to bed, I'm really tired." You told him. "No, don't go to bed mad at me, let's talk, please." He stood up too. "Goodnight, Seb." --- You were laying in your bed and Seb was on the guest's room. You used to call it his room, cause he visited you whenever he could. But neither of you could sleep. You kept thinking about how Sebastian had changed and you never noticed. All you knew was that your Seb would never even think of using you like that. And Sebastian was thinking about how stupid he was. Something he never told you was that all his previous relationships ended because of you. There was a certain time when his exes would get jealous of you, but he always picked you ever them. And every single time he broke up with a girl, he promised he would finally tell you how he felt about you. But he was afraid. He was afraid of forcing you to deal with the media, it was his job and he still hated that part, he didn't want you to go through that. He was afraid you would say yes and, because of the distance or whatever could happen, he would never be the man you deserved. He was afraid you would react like you just did. In all these cases, your friendship would be ruined, and he couldn't stand being without you. --- When you woke up, you felt terrible. Not only because you barely got three hours of sleep. But also because you knew you couldn't hide in your bedroom forever. You had to go out, carry on with your life... but Sebastian was somewhere out there at this very moment, and you didn't even know how you'd be able to look at him. When you finally gathered all your strength to get dressed and go to the kitchen, you saw Seb on the sofa. He looked at you and you could see he didn't sleep much better than you. "Morning." You gave him a weak smile. "Y/N." He ignored your greeting. "Can I talk to you now, please?" You sighed and sat beside him on the sofa without saying a word, just ready to listen. "I'm so so sorry for what I said last night." He started. "You know I didn't mean that." "How would I know?" "Well... you know me..." He was clearly cofused. "I would never treat you like some... I don't know, you're too important to me." "Yeah, I didn't recognize you." You admitted. "But it was you. It's not like you were drunk or something like that." Silence. "If you want me to leave, I can find another place to stay." He suggested. "Of course not. It's dangerous." You sighed. "Y/N." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I have to tell you something, okay? Since everything is fucked up already... I just want everything to be very clear around here." You were a mix of surprised, confused and scared. He was about to tell you something big, but he wasn't nervous. He looked relieved. "Listen." He turned to you and looked deep in your eyes. "I'm in love with you. Fuck... I've been in love with you since we were teenagers. I don't remember going through a single day of my life without thinking about you. I know I dated other girls, but not one of them was half as funny and half as beautiful as you. But I know I waited so damn long to tell you this... it's probably too late now." As subtle as a punch in the face. You couldn't say anything at the moment. You had feelings for him too, but... he was a famous actor surrounded by all those gorgeous actresses and models, while you were just a normal girl. Besides that, you had the same fears as Seb, that this could ruin everything. "I love you too." You almost whispered, fighting back your tears. "What are we gonna do now?" He sighed. He always dreamt of hearing you saying that. But definitely not with tears in your eyes and barely looking at him. "I don't know. I need some time to think." You said. "But don't leave, please." "Okay, darling." He smiled at you and caressed your cheek, making you look at him. "You have all the time in the world. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." --- It was the longest day ever. You spent it alone in your room and Seb on his. And it hurt so much, because the last days were so fun, and suddently, all the joy disappeared. You knew that's how your life would be without Seb. The night came and it was impossible to sleep again. You daydreamed of all possibilities. You and Seb being happy. Laughing. Holding hands. Kissing. Sometimes you were haunted by images of it all going terribly wrong. Camera flashes. Other girls. Him leaving. Coming back. Forgiving him. Those lips... hands firm on your waist, or gentle on your face, just like they were earlier... no. Definitely firm on your waist. You needed them like that now. Your hands on his back. Fuck, his back. He was so hot. Your body shivered. You wanted him so bad. And he was right there... so close... You looked at the clock and made a decision. It was 2am. You would knock on his bedroom door. If he was asleep, you would consider that as a sign to forget all that. If he was awake... then you'd see what would happen. You walked slowly. Changed your mind three times on the way. Shit. The door was half open, that wasn't part of the plan. Maybe you should give up and... "Y/N?" He called. He was sitting on the bed and could see you standing there like an idiot. You took a deep breath and walked in. You stood beside his bed for a moment. The part of you that hoped you would change your mind gave up as soon as it saw how soft he looked with his messy hair and old shirt. Now there wasn't a single cell in your body that didn't want to call him yours. You sat beside him, ready to say something. But you didn't plan that part either. You didn't plan that he would look at you with those beautifully confused blue eyes and lick his lips the way you loved. "Kiss me." You asked. Seb leaned towards you slowly. He didn't close his eyes until his lips touched yours. He wanted to make sure you wouldn't give up. As soon as you felt the warmt of his mouth, you melted. Your arms automatically went to his shoulders, gently bringing him closer. It started to get deeper. You pulled him closer and closer, until he was laying on top of you. Everything was always so natural between you and Seb. When he realized how far things went, your legs around his waist and his hand under your shirt, he broke the kiss. You two looked at each other and laughed. You had never felt that comfortable in your life. He closed his eyes and was about to kiss you again, when you whispered against his lips: "Make love to me." He left a little "Fuck" escape in return. You stood like that. Lips barely touching. He allowed you to take his shirt off. "Are you sure?" He said as if it was too good to be truth. "No." You chuckled. "But we're always together when I make stupid decisions, have you noticed that?" Before he could say anything in return, you removed your shirt and guided his hand to your boobs. He started to kiss all the way from your neck to your naked chest as his hands worked on removing your pants. He looked at you one more time to make sure it was okay, before removing your panties as well. "Fuck, Y/N..." He said as his lips returned to your neck, filling it with lovebites. "You're so fucking beautiful." "Sebby..." You moaned. "Please. I need you." He nodded and pulled his pants and underwear down, throwing it somewhere in the room. His hands gently touched the inside of your thighs, pulling them apart so he could position himself between them. He entered you slowly and it felt like heaven. You never realized how bad you wanted him for all this years until this very moment. And while he made love to you, you felt nothing but the purest happiness. It was slow, passionate, filled with laughter, and whenever he hit your spot just right, the smiles would be replaced by a few swears, but when your eyes met, you'd smile again. In the end it got faster and messier. Moans filled the room. Seb's name on repeat, it was the only word you could remember. When it was all over, two rounds later - cause you were too sore for more - he held you so tightly, cause he wasn't dumb enough to let you go ever again. "Can't believe we wasted all this time." He said as he spread kisses all over your face. "Can't believe you had to be LOCKED in my house to realize that." You mocked him. "Even if the quarantine is over tomorrow, you're not getting rid of me." He shrugged.                                    

[conchstellations]

watching the 1990 LOTF movie!! my reactions:

hello all!!!! i was bored at midnight again so here it is: me watchin the 1990 movie, for the first time, hell yeah!!!!! here we go!!! its got the other movie to live up to, so im excited for a comedy lmao!! tl;dr at end if u want!!! its kinda long btw lmao

- castle rock entertainment??? piggy u better watch out bro

- fuck is that the pilot???

- k this isnt a big thing but why are they in water? the plane left a scar in the earth, they were on land.

- okay, again, me nitpicking. but idk, to me, they dont look 12?? maybe its just cause theyre all dressed up n that but they dont look like 12 yr olds to me like the last movie

- why tf does ralph (?) have a glowstick lmaooooo

- why are they all together. where is my conch. wher are my stupid ass choir outfits. maybe im not there yet and they have them, but i want my stupid cloaks!!! jack would not stand for this!!!

- why TF is the pilot alive???

- am i supposed to know whos who by now?? did i just miss that?? which ones ralph? which ones jack?? wheres simon???

- conch??? the conchs main job is to bring them together, and here theyre already together so???

- piggy already makin me love him gosh piggy is child

- okay so im guessing brown hair kid is ralph

- piggy protecting conch rights

- i do like piggys sass... very iconic

- okay whAT??? is that blonde kid supposed to be jack?? first off, jack has red hair. second off, there is no way in hELL THAT MY basTARD child jack merridew would let ralph win the election just like that??? wheres my choir??? wheres my c sharp???

- okay jack would for sure call piggy shitbrain nvm

- mY CHOIR WOULD NOT ACCEPT THAT SINGING. 

- wheres simon????

- r they fuckin cookin lizards??? nvm look away simon pls dont be in this

- is thAT BITCH supposed to be Simon?? hes got a lot to look up to. also why the FUCK is the adult alive. taht ruins the whole purpose of the entire book

- was that a dream??? sorry im dumb af lmao

- alrght simon is kind of an adorable hild and he likes lizard maybe hes valid?

- idk.. for some reason this ralph isnt like, giving me ralph vibes?? hes just not bring like ralphish u know??

- now im getting a little bit more of our beloved lil bitch ralph..

- okay wtf is going on lmao

- “SHOVE THEIR DICK IN THE CONCH” had me laughing for a solid fucking 30 minutes. william golding who??? whoever wrote that line is the new icon

- ‘EAT SHIT AND DIE”  okay wtffff im so confused but also vv entertained

- for some reason jack’s character is like 100% off, but also somehow 100% on point “thats exactly what i meant” like holy shit. like idk hes not jack but just sometimes he radiates “jack if he was allowed to swear and was less of a lil bitch” energy

- ok simon and lizard?? valid

- i swear to FUCKING GOD i will kill that child!!!

- im gonna cry. wtf. why would you kill his lizard. even this movie’s jack seems like he thinks thats fucked up and hes a psychopath. also, lemme say, at this point, i think most of the book characters would beat the shit out of someone if they were mean to simon like that, bc the choir were his friends, and ralphs tribe respected him, sooooo

- why tf is it simons job to take care of the adult that shouldnt even be there? liek wtf hes grieving asshole

- no fucking duh hes scared of everyone but simon i would be too 

- honestly kinda glad they let ralph say fuck he deserved it

- “back off man im sick of ur shit and sos my gang” fuckin got em

- let me guess pilot dude is the new beast???

- honestly wtf is goin on lmao

- okay piggys actor actually made me sd when he was crying about his glasses so good job

- simon comin through with the glowstick. also, good job simon

- well at least the lord of the flies looks terrifying as always

- are samneric putting on warpaint this early?? bc i WILL NOT stand for that shit. i am a samneric STAN Ok??? they were two of the tHREE left when simon died who didnt become cowards and go savage. they wree LOYAL to ralph until they were LITERALLY tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then they helped ralph!!!! so fuck u. samneric are better than that.

- oh simon :(

- im glad they actually kind of (?) shwed simon like with the pig head bc last movei it was just ike them flipping the camera from pig to si so idkk

- ok that was a pretty ralph move to bring up the fire 24/7 lmao

- piggytits?? tf

- simon with hus fuckin glowstick lmao

- awe, simon

- okay HOLY SHIT. the sounds of what i assume to be them fucking stabbing simon are horrific. and then that cut to simon’s fucking mutiliated corpse?? holy SHIT. like as much as im complaining, thats the gruesome shit i expect from this book. i was expecting them to shy away from it bc its so awful, but im SO glad they didnt, bc that gave me fuckin chills. finally, something i can praise them on. thats the lord of the flies i expect. 

- i feel bad for ralph.. good job

- ok good. samneric came back. good job again.

- ok. nvm. the disrespect to my loyal children. alright.

- okay that child screaming as hes being whipped?? wtf.

- ok that line of piggy being scared that the russians will take them nad make them go into the olympics? gold. 

- piggys laugh is so pure

- why the fuCK are they finding instruments lmao

- poor piggy

- did roger just wolf whistle at ralph what the fuck is going on

- holy SHIt this movie does not hold back on the blood. but, wheres my conch explosion?? if ur gonna show him getting hit u gotta show the conch exploding. although, the conch means like nothing in this movie lmao

- okay wow piggys dead body cool cool cool

- ralph fucking YEETED that kid to the ground lmao

- okay, ralph crying?? good acting

tl;dr/conclusion/my thoughts: hooooo boy so i see why everyone likes 1960 one better. 

first, lets start with the obvious: why this isnt lord of the flies. because its not. if this wasnt telling me that its lord of the flies, i would think of it as that, really. first off, the conch. the conch represents civility, it brings them together. its important. when piggy dies, it dies, representing how all civility is now gone. i maybe saw the conch three times this movie. didnt do anything.

second, the pilot, captain whatever. the point of the beast to me is that they made it up. sure, the corpse was real, but it didnt pose a threat, it was simply a corpse. they made it into what it was, therefore proving that they are the beast. sure, the pilot here was harmless, but he grbbed a boy’s foot and was therefore making himself a possible threat. maybe its not a big deal i guess.

third, the characters. the point of lord of the flies is that they are rich kids who havent gone through anything. theyre the perfect, spoiled kids who havent done anything wrong. half of them are in choir. chOIR. in this movie, lets take jack for example. they said he stole  a car and got sent to military school. no. the point of jack is that he was a perfect kid. leader of choir. he was manipulitive and got even ADULTS to trust him. its part of hs character, showing that this perfect choir leader kid went fucking insane to prove how literally everyone can be evil. also samneric???? the direspect!! they were loyal to ralph until they were tied up and FORCED to join jack, and even then, after roger like beat the shit out of them, they were STILL loyal. fuck you.

so those are the MAIN reasons why it wasnt lotf. 

now, what i liked i guess.

the swearing was NOT lotf, and it didnt fit with the story, but ill admit that i laughed, so i guess thats a plus.

second, i liked how they showed the gore, i guess? sounds weird, hear me out. lord of the flies is a gruesome, violent, awful book. theres descriptions of death in detail, and im so glad they showed it. when simon’s body was there, literally torn to shreds? the shock of it, the true savagery you see that these boys murdered him SO violently, is amazing, because thats the essence of lotf. simons death shows how theyve lost all their civility, and showing such a gruesome corpse really brings that through. so good job.

and now, of course, the obvious: thats not the characters i pictured when i read the story. simon doesnt look like that, ralph doesnt look like that, jack doesnt look like that.

 where did the choir go, too? forgot to mention that, and i think that also adds into the whole, theyre supposed to be perfect kids and then become savage thing. also, the choir was a group. they voted for jack and went with him for a reason. 

so yea, thats that. dont know why people would read this lmao but thats my thoughts!!!! i just need to keep myself busy when i watch movies and to make sure i focused, i figured id just write down my thoughts as i went. if u wanna watch for free, look up lord of the flies 1990 google drive. 

;)))) and yea im posting this at 230 am lmao why not

[jenlovesgin]

Late night rant because lord knows I'm sick of people

I put my all into friendships to get shitted on for what ?! Like fuck outta here . I've done let so many ppl go from my life because I came to realize how wack people are bro. If I don't get this off my chest I probably won't sleep. Okay so I consider myself as a "Giver" friend. When I say giver , I'm the type of person who will give you my time if you need it. I'll give you my ear if you're going through something and you need to talk. I'll give you my space if you don't want to be alone. I've always been the type of person to make sure my friends are good. If I have money and you to borrow some? If I got it , You'll have it. I'm not this way on purpose trust me , but I've been like this my whole life. I've always tend to put people over myself to make sure that they're good even before me. Now over the years I have become very stubborn with myself. I became stubborn because I noticed that I would brush the wack shit people did and only see the good in them, and even after them being a shit friend if they needed me I was still there ( like a moron) so eventually I became very distant from a lot of people because when shit hit the fan for me I was my only ear to listen to. Let me tell y'all I'm busy as is everyone else because we're all adults but I always hit people up and ask them are they good , just how are you , how's everything, what's on your mind? Why ? Because I get that sometimes getting stuff off your chest is such a stress reliever and sometimes you just want someone to listen. I personally don't have that but I don't mind being that ear ( just like I said up top) but what is it when people start to take advantage of that ? When I tell y'all I don't even know when the last time someone called me just to ask how's everything. I've fell into depression TWICE , almost 8 times within the last 4 years. Mild and hard depression both diagnosed by a doctor . The first was 7 months and 18 days . The second was 5 months and 4 days ( I keep a private blog for person thoughts, whenever I feel like I need an outlet I write and date my post) . BOTH times the only person who asked me if I was okay was my mother because she said I didn't look like myself I was so pale. BOTH times I tried to talk to people and I got ignored so I could hear about their problems. BOTH times my "best friends" we're not there for me and I had to go through that shit alone. Do y'all know what it's like to battle that shit by yourself ?! The only time I left my room would be to shower and pee. I wasn't eating , I wasn't dressing up like I usually do I was in sweats and sweaters 3 times to big for MONTHS I did not leave my house . In August 2015 one of the worst events in my life happened to me and I literally felt like I lost half of myself, when I tell y'all Half of me died with this person I mean it, I almost went into depression again. And y'all want to know who came to check on me through any of these events ? Not a soul not my "bff" of almost 7 years not my 2 sisters that lives in the same house , I didn't get a phone call from my "really good friends" . Not a soul. (In aug 2015 I was already with my boyfriend and he's the reason I didn't fall full fledge into it so he was the only one there for me) The first time I went into depression I turned too drinking. I drank every single night. I made sure I went out with friends because I know I could drink that was my way of masking . Why because everything was falling apart for me. My 3 biggest reasons why I'm always stressed then and now is 1. Career 2. Money/job 3. Loneliness ( not anymore thankfully). The second time I went into depression I fought my hardest not to be in that place because I didn't want to go back there. By this time I started smoking weed , so I would just light up at night before I went to bed, but I did this because besides tumblr and writing that was my only other outlet. Fast forward to now I still struggle with it from time to time, I'll have episodes that I fall in and out of probably about a week or 2 at a time. I have very bad anxiety now because of this. I have very bad panic attacks because of this. Thankfully my boyfriend has been my outlet but still I keep a lot to myself not to burden him. Anyway back to the point at hand.. N E V E R E V E R E V E R have I complained and push ppl away, after all of that and through all of that I still kept an open space because I knew people were comfortable with sharing their thoughts with me. But why is it that people think it's OKAY to practically shit on you when they feel like or just be fucking rude for no reason because they're going through something. Like why are you taking shit out on me ?! I'm so fucking sick and tired of people man. And I always hold my fucking tongue because you don't ever know what a person is going through , but the fact that you can be so fucking rude FOR NO REASON to someone who's ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU FUCKING BAFFLESS ME ! This isn't the first time I feel like after a while ppl feel entitled to your ear and your space so they get comfortable with you being the listen and then they get you fucked up. Like was I rude when I was practically dying on the inside and I was trapped in a fucking black vortex for almost a year yet people still called me st 1 am, at 3 am too vent ?! NIGGAS REALLY THINK THEYRE THE ONLY PPL GOING THROUGH STUFF LIKE I DONT UNDERSTAND YO . AND YOU KNOW WHATS THE FUCKING ICING ON THE CAKE , JUST TO LET BYGONES BE BYGONES IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT WAS SOMETHING I MADE YOU FEEL , ILL BE THE BIGGER PERSON AND APOLOGIZE AND NIGGAS ARE STILLL RUDEEEE TOO YOUUUU LIKE PEOPLE REALLY HAVE ME FUCKED UP TO THE 5TH DIMENSION. HOW DO YOU FIX YOURSELF TOO FEEL ENTITLED TO A FUCKING APOLOGY AND YOUR RESPONSE IS FUCKING RUDE LIKE THATS WHAT YOU EXPECTED FROM ME?? HOW ARE YOU RUDE TO SOMEONE WHO ALWAYS HAS YOUR FUCKING BACK LIKE I DEADASS DONT GET THAT SHIT MY NIGGA . IM TIRED OF BEING A FRIEND TOO PPL WHO DEADASS DONT DESERVE IT , THIS IS WHY I HAVE NO FRIENDS NOW BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE REALLY FUCKING WACK . I fucking hate people. Rant over.