#my memory looking back is extremely blurry BUT my time binging on that game

[regardsandregrets]

I DIDNT KNOW U LIKED TF2? :0

Hehe oh yes

​I love very much! I don’t quite remember accurately but I believe tf2 was my first media I drew a bit for- Heh, I played more than I drew tho

I remember being here on tumblr for content years ago! I just never interacted or posted, i think,

[jokerslittlepsycho]

FEED: Joker x Reader chapter 10

Chapter 10: It was me and him against the world. Now it's me and him against the hospital

Read Wattpad version here

I woke up feeling drowsy. Almost like a hangover but I don’t recall the party.

Wait there was a party, but I didn’t drink.

It was the Christmas party. Oh, God. The memories came flooding back to me.

“Wake up, y/n”

I heard a female voice.

“Come on, y/n, its weigh-ins”

“I don’t feel good, everything's blurry”

“That's the sedatives, it will feel better by the time you move”.

I don’t know where I am, all I know there are two women holding me up walking me to get weighed.

I feel like passing out, did someone drug me. I just hear people speaking amongst me, if I listen I might put pieces back together.

“89lbs, well below her line. We’ll start her up on meal replacement shakes in between meals, only use tubes if necessary”

Wait why are they saying this? Where am I?

They help place me on the bed. At this point, I was limping.

“Hands are cold, fingertips almost blue”

Then she enters my mouth.

“Are you a smoker?”

I’m too out of it to reply, so I just nod.

“Ok, smoker, however, suspected purging, watch her during toilet time”

Toilet time?

“You were limping a lot, do your ankles hurt?”

I nod again as she takes my feet and moves them at angles.

“Does it hurt when I do this?

I nod.

“Overexercising, we’ll watch her at bedtime if she tried to run or walk. Do you run?”

I’m so confused, why all the questions?

I just nod again.

They do a few more checks, at this point, I barely remember anything apart from a few comments.

“Hair on her arms, the body’s trying to keep her warm”

I keep drifting.

“We’ll do a blood test, see if her organs are shutting down. After that we-”

I black out yet again.

But this time it doesn’t just all go black. I see something. I see a cat, and the more I look at it the more cartoon-like it gets, to the point you can only see outlines. And then I look down with a tattoo gun in my hand. Then I remember, what about J?

I look up and he’s in front of me, and he walks towards me.

“Y/n, wake up. Trust me just wake up. Don’t listen to anything I say, trust me, just don’t! WAKE UP!”

I’m awake and I’m in a bed. I don’t feel so fuzzy anymore. Everything seems clear?

“Hey! You are awake! Ok look I’m here to debrief you. My name is Mariam.”

I get up and listen, finally, I get some answers.

“Do you know where you are?”

“No” I reply, I finally manage to get words out.

“Ok, you are in a psychiatric hospital, because of the severity of your condition you were unable to make the choice to consent to treatment, so your father signed the forms. You are in the female eating disorders ward. We call this the green wing. Any questions?”

“Yes, why is there a tube in my arm?” I start to notice a tube going into my arm, and it feels uncomfortable.

“You fainted, we put this tube in your arm, the tube is hooked to a drip. Don’t worry, there are no calories in it, it's just putting vitamins into your system.”

“Eating disorders unit?”

“Yes, however, the consultant and the psychologist need to evaluate you.”

I stay silent. What the fuck is going on, and what do they mean the severity of my condition? What actually happened during Christmas? Do I have an eating disorder?

“Come, we have to be in communal areas during this hour.”

“We?”

“Yes, I have been allocated to watch you at all times. Including toilet and bedtime, but don’t worry, when you start to get better you will gain more independence with no one following you around.”

I get up and take the trip with me as she guides me to the communal area. This place is not at all like a hospital, it actually likes a home. Nice carpets, paintings on the wall. The communal area has nice sofas, a bookshelf, a TV that's connected to a Wii with some games in the cabinet below the TV.

“Guys, we have a new person with us today. Let's all introduce ourselves!”

Wow, she is way too enthusiastic. The first girl that starts is very underweight. She has beautiful dark skin, plump lips with pearl white teeth. Amazing curls. Usually, hair thins out, but she maintained hers pretty well.

“Hey, my name is Tianna.” She gave a half smile and proceeded to read her book.

The second girl was quite plump. Not the person you would expect in the unit, but anyone and any body type could have an eating disorder. She has caramel blonde hair tied back into the most perfect messy bun I have ever seen. She has diamond blue eyes, and a cute little mole on her upper lip, a bit like Marilyn Monroe.

“I’m Emma-May” She gave me a smile and continued to focus on the TV.

Another girl looked very low, very depressed. She had greasy hair and was very pale. She is what you would call average weight, and she had a tube up her nose. She wore a Winx Club top with the fairies on it along with some black leggings.

“Elizabeth” She peeps up for a split second and whispers her name. After that, she just proceeds to look at the floor and blank out the world.

A girl enters the room, as the introduction is happening.

“Mariam! When can I have my smokes?”

She is a beautiful girl with olive skin and brown eyes, along with brown hair that has beach waves. Skinny body, but not malnourished.

“Not now, Tatjana. Were doing introductions, this is the new girl.”

She sat on the floor cross-legged.

“Tatjana. The I is a J in my name, but it’s pronounced like an I or Y. You’ll get used to it.”

There was another severely malnourished girl. No tube or IV’s. Extremely thin blonde hair and Hazel eyes. Her face is like a skeleton. She has on a baby pink shirt with a horse on it.

“Hey, I’m Bella” She lets out a forced smile.

“I’m y/n”

Six girls in the unit including myself.

“Do you smoke too?” Tatjana asks. I nod to her.

“Yeah, but I forgot to bring my smokes”

“Borrow one of mine, its fine.”

I accept, and Mariam guides us outside to the smoking area.

“You might be confused at the weight of some of the girls on this unit” Tatijana whispers as she takes a puff out of her cigarette. After I light mine I ask why we are whispering.

“We can’t talk about ‘triggering’ things, don’t want Mariam to find out.”

I nod. “Well, the plump girl? She has Bulimia. Notice how she doesn’t show her teeth? It got fucked up with all the vomiting. You’d think purgers would be thin, but it turns out when you purge, only 30% of the food comes out. It’s a huge misconception, however, most bulimics are either healthy weight or average weight because of the 30% thing. They will binge on a whole pizza with two portions of fries, fruit loops cereal, a whole cake and a jar of jam and only 30% of that come out.”

I am amazed at this. “How do they eat all of this?” I ask curiously.

“That’s what a binge is.”

It explains a lot. Emma-May does have an overweight body.

“And Elizabeth-” Tatijana continues.

“That's her name? I barely heard her.” I cut her off.

“Yep, she’s not much of a talker. She had anorexia when she was 14, and now she’s back again. She may be a healthy weight, but anorexia dominates her.”

“If she’s healthy weight, why the tube?” I am confused at this point.

Tatjana lets out a chuckle. “Anyone at any weight can be tubed. All you have to do is refuse to eat completely and they will have no other choice.”

“Oh.” I continue smoking.

“Remember, y/n. Weight doesn’t determine how sick or better you are” Tatjana explains a bit louder and Mariam hears.

“Listen to her, y/n, she has a very good point. Also if you are wondering why the unit seems empty, there are meant to be 2 more girls here, but they are on leave.”

We finish our cigarettes and enter the building.

Considering the fact that this is an eating disorders unit, there are a variety of women here. You would expect an eating disorder unit to have malnourished underweight girls, but that is not at all the case. There are bulimics and binge eaters here. Eating disorders honestly do have a variety. As I’m sitting in the communal area, Joker appears. I try not to make me staring at him too obvious.

“Woah, shit then. I wasn’t expecting this!” and lets out his grin.

“Shit, y/n! That girl looks like a god damn Auschwitz victim!” And lets out his signature laugh.

I am in between shocked and amused. I am shocked because J made a vulgar comment, but at the same time, I want to laugh because he just said it all out of nowhere. In conclusion, I cough.

J sits next to me on the floor.

“Look, y/n I know you can’t talk to me, so during the day try and find a pen and paper so you can write your response and show me.”

I nod slightly to let him know I understand.

“Ok good. Y/n this place is no good for you, I will help you get out. This place, it’s going to take you away from me. We were meant to go together, to be together forever. But this place stopped it. Just do as I say, you’ll be out and we will be together, I promise.”

I let out a tear out, thankfully Mariam didn’t notice. I nod back.

“Good girl, but remember kitten, daddy still needs some food.”

Shit. I need to feed him here. I don’t know how I can do it, these staff members watch you like a damn hawk, but I need to keep him alive. I don’t care what happens.

“I will do anything,” I whisper to him, and no one heard.

He smiles back. At first, it was me and him against the world, now it's me and him against the hospital.

[vieuxnoyesrp]

Isa. Elijah Mikaelson is an incredibly difficult character to nail; as the ethical backbone of his family, he is often charged with not only acting as his siblings’ moral compass, but also with damage control for the chaos they leave in their wake. On top of that are Elijah’s own emotional complexities and vulnerabilities, which are often at odds with the aloof and austere exterior he likes to exude. We were wowed by you attention to detail in this application, and the way you managed to tiptoe the line Elijah walks between disapproval and condescension, careful not to tip too far in the direction of superciliousness and superiority. It was clear to us that you had done an incredible amount of research in preparation for this application and we couldn’t be more honored or pleased to welcome you to Vieux Noyés RP. 

Isa, thank you very much for applying. As for Elijah…

                  ⚜ ~ WELCOME TO VIEUX NOYÉS!!! ~ ⚜

Wondering what to do next? Click here and let the good times roll!

⤜ Name/alias: Isa.

⤜ Pronouns: She/her.

⤜ Age: 21.

⤜ Timezone: AEST/UTC +10.

⤜ Activity: I’m on uni break from now until February, so I’d say around 7 with work.

⤜ Best form of contact: Tumblr.

⤜ Any triggers? Nope, but thank you.

⤜ How did you find Vieux Noyés? From memory, I think it was a supernatural related RPG tag.

⤜ What drew you to the RP? I adore the shows and books this roleplay is inspired by and I have a huge respect for design… Vieux Noyés stood out immediately because it was so beautifully put together, then I read the plot and was hooked! The Appreciation Blog was also really encouraging to browse through! It seems like a wonderful group of people collaborate here.

⤜ What is one subplot/element from the Plot page that you are particularly looking forward to seeing in this roleplay? I’m watching (binging?) The Originals for the first time and the tension between supernatural species has me on the edge of my seat—it’s clear this is just as prevalent in the roleplay. I especially love that the VN plot incorporates the Salem witch cult to the mix. To see just how much pressure the NOLA coven can withstand, and how many shifts in magical balance their home can endure is exciting. A power struggle between the Originals and Marcel won’t matter if the city crumbles! How the wares, psychics, hunters and humans contribute to that war will also be undoubtedly epic (so basically all the elements, I’m terrible).

⤜ Desired character? The one and only Elijah Mikaelson.

⤜ Why do you want this character? I’ve always gravitated toward influential types who are strong willed and intrinsic to other’s development (I love to plot!). I’ve written as sadistic business moguls, security heads in dystopian angelic societies and warlock gang lords from the 1920s… I’m fascinated by prominent figures in history and the effect power has over an individual’s actions and sentiments, so I like characters that are dealt immense responsibility. I’m equally intrigued by their inherent weaknesses and the blurry line that separates honour and evil. The noble stag, the ripper of hearts, the eldest living Original vampire epitomises both extremes. Elijah’s Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator states that as an Architect, he presents as a paradox to most observers, and that he lives by glaring contradictions that nonetheless make perfect sense from a rational perspective. His sense of morality is unparalleled among vampires, but simultaneously he is one of the most dangerous and unpredictable of them all—I can’t wait to explore that synergy.  

⤜ What are your future plans for this character? The Mikaelson siblings haven’t had a lot of fortune in the ol’ love department. Elijah particularly struggles to avert his attention from Klaus long enough to establish deep connections outside his family. It doesn’t help that on the extraordinarily rare occasion his focus has been elsewhere, tragedy has struck: first Tatia, then Celeste. There’s a quote from TO when Elijah says to his brother, “I have forsaken every single one of my desires in the name of your ridiculous redemption. No more. If I want something, I’ll take it. And nothing, nothing will stand in my way.” In the RP, I want Elijah to be pushed to this degree if he develops a romantic interest, triggering irrevocable consequences for his relationships and those inhabiting New Orleans.

⤜ Put yourself in your character’s shoes. Give us a few lines to describe a day in the life of your character… where do they live? Where and how do they spend their time? As Klaus expertly manipulates those in the French Quarter like pawns in a wicked game of chess, Elijah is close by to collect the pieces, regardless of how damaged they may be. While his dedication to his family is relentless, he finds peace in the Tulane University library or at Rousseau’s on nights featuring live entertainment. Further spare moments are spent playing the piano or writing in his journals which are kept in his offices at the Plantation House: a sanctuary for his business in the quarter and a beloved, albeit temporary home.

⤜ Give us three headcanons regarding your character of choice:

For a millennia, Elijah’s driving priority has been to protect his brothers and sister from their father, overconfident rivals, and each other. Elijah places family above all, even at the expense of his own happiness, but when they aren’t faced with imminent threats he utilises rare moments of peace to explore lands abroad; his favourite destination being Denmark where he lived with Klaus and Rebekah in the 1500s. Not sharing his sibling’s contempt for humans, Elijah has made many illustrious friends in his travels such as Caravaggio, Hemingway, and Ellington. Back in NOLA, Elijah continues to orchestrate alliances, believing unity is a necessary requirement for success.

After fleeing Mikael in the 11th century, Elijah settled with his family in Southern France. To assimilate into noble society, and for their true nature to remain undetected as they discovered the extent of their affliction, it was necessary to adopt local customs. This meant learning aristocratic manners and studying the arts. As his brothers found solace in paint or the blood of the townspeople, Elijah read every piece of literature he could get his hands on—discovering that strength came, not only from family, but from knowledge. This early exposure to formal education piqued a relentless curiosity that developed into something more sinister over the centuries. Elijah’s intellect is now his greatest asset, supernatural abilities aside. His penchant for establishing contingencies has proven invaluable and in battle, his strategic and calm demeanour only heightens his physical prowess making him near unbeatable (note: it’s always wise to carry a pocket handkerchief, just in case there’s a mess).

Elijah exudes elegance and is renowned for possessing an unfaltering gentlemanly demeanour. He values virtue over narcissism, but over a thousand years of life, an unparalleled encyclopaedic understanding of the world, and the inability to be killed has made the vampire supremely confident. He has no qualms reminding those that have forgotten that his niceties are a curtesy, not a given. Sassy Elijah is inevitable.

⤜ What are some plots you’d like to explore with your character?

As it mentions in the Plot Teasers section of Elijah’s biography, his future is entwined with his brother’s role in creating more hybrids, which will test loyalty. Furthermore, how will this impact his relationship with the Crescent Wolves and Hayley?

I’d love to do some flashbacks exploring the Originals’ historical ties to the city. There’s a great book I picked up after starting this application called “Empire of Sin: A Story of Sex, Jazz, Murder, and the Battle for Modern New Orleans” and the recounts from the early twentieth century in particular are magnificent.  

I want to see Elijah’s investment in Gia Talwar’s training and plot how he will respond to her tenacious spirit. I imagine he’ll be a bit overprotective too.

Will Elijah intercede between Elena Gilbert and Klaus if they meet again? Can Elijah ignore the doppelgänger’s intoxicating familiarity?

I’m sure the unknown whereabouts of Finn has Elijah on edge, tracking him down may become something of a priority.

⤜ Para sample: Inspired by events and quotes: x

RFP

⤜ Would you like to be considered for another character if not accepted as your primary choice? Ooh probably Rebekah Mikaelson. Keep it in the family ;)

⤜ Have you read the rules? Thoroughly.

⤜ Anything else? Thank you for taking the time to read this application. Elijah is a considerably complex fellow and a beloved canon character, so I hope I’ve done him justice!