#my only experience with polyamory is harem anime

[johannstutt413]

(requested by anonymous)

As per the new usual, the Doctor found herself waking up snug as a bug beneath two wonderfully-warm bodies. For all the outfits she’d burnt holes through, she would have expected Skyfire to be constantly setting the bed on fire, but apparently she’d had enough experience to control herself under those conditions. The Doctor and Angelina both were quite grateful for that.

Speaking of Angelina, she stirred as the Doctor began trying to untangle herself. “Mmm...I’ll start a pot in a minute.”

“Take your time,” the Doctor smiled, patting her on the back. “Amiya’s covering the office today, so we’re not gonna be busy today.”

“Yay.” With this new information, Angie let her off the bed on her side and immediately crawled over to Skyfire, who even fast asleep somehow knew to wrap her arms around her. They were an adorable couple, and the Doctor thought herself very lucky to be their third.

It was a funny story, actually. Angelina and Skyfire had started dating sometime after the Doctor had come back, and while she’d been aware of that, she hadn’t realized just how serious things had gotten until they submitted a request to move in together. After talking with them individually, she’d decided to give them the all-clear, and for a couple months there was nothing to report except they were doing quite well.

Until, of course, the day they asked her to try a threesome with them.

It had already been a bit of a strange day when Skyfire showed up at the Doctor’s office; all the squads were home, the problem children were staying quiet, the cafeteria had served something the Doctor not only liked but actually gotten seconds of...As relaxing as it was, it meant she had nothing to do, so any distraction would be a welcome one. Skyfire, as it turned out, volunteered herself as she walked into the office smelling of smoke. “Good afternoon, Doctor. Staying busy, I hope?”

“I wish,” she sighed. “There’s nothing going on today that needs my attention, so right now, you can have all of it. How can I help you?”

“I actually came here to help you- or, rather, to make you an offer-”

At that point, Angelina burst into the room. “Hey, Doct- Sky?”

“Angie?” The Doctor was momentarily forgotten. “I came to ask the Doctor about that thing we talked about.”

“Oh! I did, too! Well, what do you think, Doctor?”

She smiled. “Skyfire didn’t get a chance to finish yet.”

“Oh! Can I ask her, then?” Angelina was hovering slightly off the ground. “I mean, I know you suggested it, but-”

“Go ahead, I won’t stop you.” Sky rolled her eyes, albeit with a smile.

The courier floated over to the Doctor’s desk. “Doctor, will you have a threesome with us? At least once?”

“...Huh?” She glanced from one brunette to the other. “I mean, I don’t have a reason not to, but I would like to know why I’m being blessed like this.”

“We both think you’re hot, and you don’t have any public relationships,” Skyfire shrugged.

Angie swooped down and lifted the Doctor out of her chair. “Besides, you do so much for Rhodes Island that just having one person to support you just doesn’t seem like it’d be enough. Even if it turns out you don’t enjoy tonight, we still want to be there for you.”

“That’s really sweet of you.” She hugged Angelina mid-air. “Send me over to Sky; I’m not letting her go without a hug.”

“You’ll get more than a hug tonight,” the pyromancer mumbled as she accepted the incoming embrace.

Angie pumped her fist and cheered. “Alright, I’ve got to finish my runs, but this is exciting! See you tonight, babes!”

“Was that plural?” The Doctor wondered aloud as she floated out the door. “Or was she talking to you?”

“I think she meant the plural...Anyway, you know where to find us, so I should probably get going.”

The Doctor pouted. “Do you have to? I still don’t have any work I need to take care of.”

“As much as I’d love to, I do have something to finish before tonight.” After thinking about it for a moment, Skyfire quickly kissed her and made for the door before she could react. “Thank you!”

“No problem...” She watched her dash out of the office before closing the door and licking the transferred gloss off her lips.

After work, the Doctor changed into something easier to slip out of and walked to the couple’s apartment, more than a little nervous. Being sandwiched between them sounded like heaven to her, but it seemed like a rather delicate balancing act, and she’d never been particularly light on her feet.

That first night, however, was enough to push away any doubts she’d had - rather, the first morning after, waking up in a tangle with Angelina’s hair in her face and Sky’s head on her chest, convinced her to come back again...and again...and again. There was one night Angie had to work late, leaving the Doctor and Sky alone together, and that was special in its own way, and a week later when Skyfire had to leave for a conference with King’s Wand, that proved just as amazing, so the day after, the pyromancer returned to find the Doctor finishing moving her stuff from her single dorm to theirs.

Which brought the Doctor back to the weekend ahead of them. She’d have to wait for them to wake up, of course, but she wondered if maybe this would be a good day to ask them about their plans for the future. After all, if things stayed like this, it would be nice to know what they thought about kids...She turned on the water in the shower to give it time to warm up.

The sound of bare feet running across the floor to join her in the bathroom nearly made her laugh out loud.

[translationandbetrayals]

How reading To Love-Ru allowed me to know myself better. Polyamory reflection part 2 of 3.

(SPOILES ALERT!!! It is also taken for granted that there is prior knowledge about the story.)

To Love-Ru holds a very special place in my heart as it was not only one of the first anime I watched in Japanese with subtitles, but also the first full-length Manga I read in its entirety and followed for years.

(When I refer to chapters they will be from the Manga).

This one made sense to me by questioning the traditional view of romantic love to such an extent that I wrote about it in my life journal. But in this case, I will focus on the questioning of monogamy and the possibility of loving romantically more than one person opening the possibility of having a formal and happy relationship of two people. A vision that develops throughout the story and is not taken for granted at the beginning.

Initially I was attracted to the fact that Lala does not fall in love with Rito just because he tries to save her even though she is a stranger and in fact she does not fall in love with him until late in the story. And Saireji is not in love yet, even though she likes Rito's kindness. But she knows that this kindness is his personality and not something particular to her.

It is not until chapter 14 that Lala shows that she loves spending time with her new friends and especially with Rito, this after a trip with them is about to be cancelled because of a storm (which she destroys). 

  Throughout the story, it is understood that what makes Rito fall in love is that he prioritizes helping people with what really makes them happy. Even going against the beliefs, doubts and conflicts that hold them back. He does it in a selfless way. Regardless of who this person is or the past that this person has, focusing on who is in front of him in these moments.

In my personal interpretation, the Darkness form of Yami is the representation of frustration and internal struggles that we carry inside, this resistance to change in the identity that we build. But more of the negative things, as if to accept these is to accept that "the suffering we lived through because of following these beliefs would have been in vain" (Tol ove ru darkness ep 41) episode in which our "Main Heroines" take a step towards this change.

  Returning to polyamory, (Darkness ep1) we see that Lala genuinely wants Rito to be with the girls Rito loves. Showing an understanding already shown before that Rito's love for another person does not limit the love he can feel for her, she prioritizes Rito's happiness, but without failing to express how she feels about him (although this vision does not finish building until near the end of Darkness). Since she still maintains the vision of a first and second wife).

On the other hand, this last point is the main difference in "maturity" that she has with Momo, a vision that she is developing, but questioning throughout the story. Momo generates the "harem plan" as a response to her resignation that she will not be loved by Rito because that place will be occupied only by Lala and Haruna. She adds girls to her plan in order to make merit with Rito on the one hand and on the other hand to reduce the guilt she feels about it, using as a justification that if Rito becomes King it would not be frowned upon for him to have a harem. Her insecurity is based on the fact that for her love is hierarchical and somewhat limited. This is reflected in the fact that for her the girls have positions in Rito's heart, where there is a first and second wife. So, both she and the rest of the girls would have the position of concubines. Category in which she seeks to have the first position.

Throughout this story I had many questions about love, questions that I have been answering and modifying these answers over the years and personal experiences. For this series of post, I wanted to rescue 4. The three with which I opened the previous post plus one.

Is love limited, does it have size or capacity, is it self-doubt that makes us want our beloved to have eyes only for us?

Is it just honesty?

But that is the subject of part 3.

So much for part 2 of 3.

[it-will-not-last-the-night]

Persona 5 - 3 (4) things

I think I should perhaps stop attaching a heading to everything I write. Hmm.

I think, overall, Persona 5 is a good game and very fun. I did enjoy much of it. However, I do have some major problems with it (3 as I stated above with a fourth which is a lesser concern). These keep it from being a Great Game to me. Now I’ve never played Persona games until Persona 5 so, I hope, the trend is towards fixing these instead of making them worse, but I cannot be sure.

1) The Cheating/Female Agency in general: Does Persona 5 have some great female characters? Yes, yes it does. I mean Ann, Makoto, Haru and Futaba (to name the most important) are truly enjoyable. They are interesting and actually are for the most part strong characters. Which is why the ability of the protagonist to essentially cheat on them (and more) with little to no repercussion hurts so much. It makes it almost impossible for me to respect them as much when I know that, according to the game, even if my character is blatantly caught cheating on them with no remorse he can still pursue a relationship with them and suffers a comedic scene as his only punishment, with no lasting harm to the trust between parties. This does three things which truly upsets me; firstly it portrays that, apparently, cheating on your significant other is not a substantial breach of trust (instead your comedic punishment almost seems to imply it is ‘cool’). Secondly it reduces the likeability and agency of the female characters by portraying them as, apparently, gullible enough to somehow believe no cheating is going on even when it is blatantly happening in front of them. Thirdly it feels horrible that the game seems to still, despite its hard work, at the end of the day take the position that the girls are effectively all into the protagonist at the expense of their dignity. I am not a fan of many ‘harems’, they are difficult to do well, and when I see them in Persona I fear they are there to appeal to base interests, not to make any kind of statement about the fact that genuine polyamory is as valid as any other relationship so long as all parties are consenting. Honestly, Persona 5 could simply of excised the capacity for cheating or, rather, made it that cheating always results in the extreme destruction of your relationships. Not just with the involved parties, but with all your friends. When I was watching the cutscene (on youtube since I’d never be willing to stomach doing it in my playthrough) my first thought was “In a setting in which Ryuji knows the protagonist has cheated on Ann and treated her like trash, how would they possibly go on as friends?”. The protagonist cheating, being willing to lie like that, should have MAJOR negative repercussions for all his close relationships. Sae, for example, should be pretty furious at someone who treats her little sister like trash.

2) The protagonist as Gary-Stu: This can be averted by a player intentionally choosing to sabotage themselves at points, which is fine, but at the same time the game can sometimes become infuriating to me with how I, the protagonist, am some sort  of perfect entity who never makes mistakes and always solves everyone else’s mistakes. I honestly would have enjoyed a game where the different Phantom Thieves help each other through their issues more than a game in which I, the protagonist, am seemingly just the appointed perfect being who knows all. To be honest I think I would have prefered a more scripted protagonist, with set narrative and personality, than an avater self-insert who at times bordered on too perfect for my tastes. A Fire Emblem-esque system by which I could rank up the relationships of my fellow Phantom Thieves also would have been enjoyable, helping to create the idea that the Phantom Thieves are a group and not simple a collection of individuals who all care about the protagonist.

3) Abuse is okay if its a ‘loser’ male: Imagine Futaba being physically beat up for doing something stupid. Imagine Shiho came back as a wet-blanket-ish female character and virtually 90% of all dialogue directed at her was just ‘pssh, what a loser’ to some or other effect. None of this happens, thank goodness, but the game does think its a-okay for it to happen to Ryuji and Mishima, even though BOTH HAVE BEEN PHYSICALLY BEATEN AS CHILDREN. The game’s seemingly cruel delight in torturing Ryuji and Mishima baffles me. Particularly since neither of them are as bad as the game wants us to believe. This part confuses me; if the game wanted me to enjoy Mishima and Ryuji’s near constant suffering why did it go out of its way to make them so pitiable and good-hearted? If their purpose was for me to laugh at their pain then I’d need them to be pretty horrible people to justify it but, instead, most of the time the two are surprisingly good-hearted and kind, particularly Ryuji who is willing to sacrifice himself for us within minutes of our first meeting. I found the game’s treatment of these two characters deeply unsettling. Worst, though, was perhaps how the game kept seeming to give some indication it could do better...but then just didn’t. Now for myself a thing which is good...but then lets me down is always much worse than a thing which is just plain bad (worse here  meaning my experience of it, not objectively, its still better than a plain bad thing objectively). This happened a lot with Ryuji. A small example to demonstrate; after our first journey into a Palace with Ann she texts the protagonist a thank you, I of course responded with ‘you should thank Ryuji too’ since I am accustomed to games like this making it that the ‘idiot’ character never recieves any gratitutde for anything. BUT to my immense surprise Ann shoots back with an immediate “I already did”. I was so impressed and happy. Not only did the game subvert my normal expectations of anime tropes by having Ann thank Ryuji, but the game also recognized that seeing as Ann and Ryuji new each other at that point better than either knew my protagonist character it would make sense for her to thank him first. That was good, gave me hope that the Ann/Ryuji friendship would be the first ‘Girl scolds idiot boy a lot but I am meant to think they are friends’ relationship I’ve ever seen in media I like. But then...then...as if determined to destroy this good will Persona 5 proceeded to muck things up. So after we finally destroy Kamoshida’s Palace and everything we are texted again by Ann to thank us. This time though, when we remind her to thank Ryuji, her honest answer is “I forgot”, as if us remininding her is the only reason she’s going to do it. It is particularly hard to swallow if, like me, you had Ryuji as the one to knock of Kamoshida’s Treasure. The fact that Ryuji tripped and almost died also makes it hard to imagine Ann can somehow forget to thank him. And this applies for Morganna too, she never thanks him either. And it really just gets worse from there. Abuse is not okay. Beating Ryuji up physically is horrible.

4) This is the obvious one which many people have said better than me but I still would like it enough to put it down here; why no relationships other than male/female are possible?

That being said it was still a fun and good game. I only hope that if the series continues these issues are not present in later versions. I’d enjoy a redone version of P5 which removes them as well, but I do not think that is a realistic expectation at all.

[translationandbetrayals]

Reflection on love based on some harem and personal experiences. Polyamory reflection part 3 of 3.

Considering the previous post and answers of some friends of my age to the four central questions I will try to develop them a little, I do not seek to give a definitive answer to these since such a thing does not exist, since it is something personal and proper of each one, the objective is to give a little variety to these questions in order that each one reflects on the different perspectives.

 The value that anime brings to this topic is the cultural difference that exists with respect to love and the roles of the couple. Although the differences are nuanced according to different cultures and individuals, especially if we consider the weight of society and the sense of collective in Japan. Even so, anime tends to enjoy and question these.

The questions aim to understand why outside of social reasons we do not have polyamorous relationships as something common. For they are the basis in my view of many of the fears that arise in this regard.

  Is love limited, does it have size or capacity?

The almost unanimous answer was no, since being an emotion it is not limited/feeling, so it is not quantifiable, or it would be pointless to try to do so.

It has more of a relationship to what I do with it.

Even though one of the views was that since we are limited beings, love, being part of us, is finite. Still, I agreed that it is not quantifiable or constant over time. Just like our own nature as humans.

  Is it our own insecurity that makes us want our beloved to have eyes only for us?

Here there was more divergence of answers, on the one hand, the majority agreed that yes, it is personal insecurity that causes it. The fear of no longer being loved or being less loved.

There were also those who, without discarding the above as a possible cause, included the sense of belonging to the other as something that is part of us.

Another response was the one that had to do with agreements and sticking to them.

  Is honesty fair?

Here the answer was almost unanimous, yes.

Regardless of whether or not it is the right thing to do, it is always fair and important both to ourselves and to others, and that it is usually fear and comfort that leads us to lie to ourselves or to others.

Whoever said that it was not always fair was relating it to the fact that one's truth is not necessarily the other's truth, linking it to making somewhat impulsive decisions without agreements, such as ending a relationship because we no longer feel loved by the other without allowing the other to do something about it.

  Here I want to add another one that I did not consult with more people, and it is about my own vision.

Do I have to be enough for someone?

This is based on "am I not enough for you? Like blaming oneself that the other loves someone else too.

This is linked to the idea of this absolute complementarity, the idea of the better half. Which naturally affects those of us who may be in a relationship as well as those who see it from the outside. The idea that if you have two girlfriends, for example, each of them is less loved or important than a wife in a traditional relationship. Thematic treated quite well in my opinion in both To Love-Ru and Kanojo mo Kanojo. My answer is no, both can be perfectly equally important, and I think the idea that one must be "enough" for someone, as well as absolutely responsible for the couple's happiness is a view that tends to be very damaging to both the partners in the relationship and the relationship itself.

This is a responsibility that in my opinion is much more pronounced in a society of "appearances" such as the Japanese one.

This topic goes on for a long time and there are many things as important as or more important to deal with in this subject, but this is my contribution.

I hope it will be useful to someone to clarify a situation, take a weight off your shoulders, investigate or encourage you to make an introspection on the matter. I say goodbye, greetings and best wishes to all.

[translationandbetrayals]

How reading To Love-Ru allowed me to know myself better. Polyamory reflection part 2 of 3.

(SPOILES ALERT!!! It is also taken for granted that there is prior knowledge about the story.)

To Love-Ru holds a very special place in my heart as it was not only one of the first anime I watched in Japanese with subtitles, but also the first full-length Manga I read in its entirety and followed for years.

(When I refer to chapters they will be from the Manga).

This one made sense to me by questioning the traditional view of romantic love to such an extent that I wrote about it in my life journal. But in this case, I will focus on the questioning of monogamy and the possibility of loving romantically more than one person opening the possibility of having a formal and happy relationship of two people. A vision that develops throughout the story and is not taken for granted at the beginning.

Initially I was attracted to the fact that Lala does not fall in love with Rito just because he tries to save her even though she is a stranger and in fact she does not fall in love with him until late in the story. And Saireji is not in love yet, even though she likes Rito's kindness. But she knows that this kindness is his personality and not something particular to her.

It is not until chapter 14 that Lala shows that she loves spending time with her new friends and especially with Rito, this after a trip with them is about to be cancelled because of a storm (which she destroys). https://images.mangafreak.net/mangas/to_love_ru/to_love_ru_14/to_love_ru_14_12.jpg

  Throughout the story, it is understood that what makes Rito fall in love is that he prioritizes helping people with what really makes them happy. Even going against the beliefs, doubts and conflicts that hold them back. He does it in a selfless way. Regardless of who this person is or the past that this person has, focusing on who is in front of him in these moments.

In my personal interpretation, the Darkness form of Yami is the representation of frustration and internal struggles that we carry inside, this resistance to change in the identity that we build. But more of the negative things, as if to accept these is to accept that "the suffering we lived through because of following these beliefs would have been in vain" (Tol ove ru darkness ep 41) episode in which our "Main Heroines" take a step towards this change.

  Returning to polyamory, (Darkness ep1) we see that Lala genuinely wants Rito to be with the girls Rito loves. Showing an understanding already shown before that Rito's love for another person does not limit the love he can feel for her, she prioritizes Rito's happiness, but without failing to express how she feels about him (although this vision does not finish building until near the end of Darkness). Since she still maintains the vision of a first and second wife).

On the other hand, this last point is the main difference in "maturity" that she has with Momo, a vision that she is developing, but questioning throughout the story. Momo generates the "harem plan" as a response to her resignation that she will not be loved by Rito because that place will be occupied only by Lala and Haruna. She adds girls to her plan in order to make merit with Rito on the one hand and on the other hand to reduce the guilt she feels about it, using as a justification that if Rito becomes King it would not be frowned upon for him to have a harem. Her insecurity is based on the fact that for her love is hierarchical and somewhat limited. This is reflected in the fact that for her the girls have positions in Rito's heart, where there is a first and second wife. So, both she and the rest of the girls would have the position of concubines. Category in which she seeks to have the first position.

Throughout this story I had many questions about love, questions that I have been answering and modifying these answers over the years and personal experiences. For this series of post, I wanted to rescue 4. The three with which I opened the previous post plus one.

Is love limited, does it have size or capacity, is it self-doubt that makes us want our beloved to have eyes only for us?

Is it just honesty?

But that is the subject of part 3.

So much for part 2 of 3.

By RainbowYami

[translationandbetrayals]

Reflection on love based on some harem and personal experiences. Polyamory reflection part 3 of 3.

  Considering the previous post and answers of some friends of my age to the four central questions I will try to develop them a little, I do not seek to give a definitive answer to these since such a thing does not exist, since it is something personal and proper of each one, the objective is to give a little variety to these questions in order that each one reflects on the different perspectives.

 The value that anime brings to this topic is the cultural difference that exists with respect to love and the roles of the couple. Although the differences are nuanced according to different cultures and individuals, especially if we consider the weight of society and the sense of collective in Japan. Even so, anime tends to enjoy and question these.

The questions aim to understand why outside of social reasons we do not have polyamorous relationships as something common. For they are the basis in my view of many of the fears that arise in this regard.

  Is love limited, does it have size or capacity?

The almost unanimous answer was no, since being an emotion it is not limited/feeling, so it is not quantifiable, or it would be pointless to try to do so.

It has more of a relationship to what I do with it.

Even though one of the views was that since we are limited beings, love, being part of us, is finite. Still, I agreed that it is not quantifiable or constant over time. Just like our own nature as humans.

  Is it our own insecurity that makes us want our beloved to have eyes only for us?

Here there was more divergence of answers, on the one hand, the majority agreed that yes, it is personal insecurity that causes it. The fear of no longer being loved or being less loved.

There were also those who, without discarding the above as a possible cause, included the sense of belonging to the other as something that is part of us.

Another response was the one that had to do with agreements and sticking to them.

  Is honesty fair?

Here the answer was almost unanimous, yes.

Regardless of whether or not it is the right thing to do, it is always fair and important both to ourselves and to others, and that it is usually fear and comfort that leads us to lie to ourselves or to others.

Whoever said that it was not always fair was relating it to the fact that one's truth is not necessarily the other's truth, linking it to making somewhat impulsive decisions without agreements, such as ending a relationship because we no longer feel loved by the other without allowing the other to do something about it.

  Here I want to add another one that I did not consult with more people, and it is about my own vision.

Do I have to be enough for someone?

This is based on "am I not enough for you? Like blaming oneself that the other loves someone else too.

This is linked to the idea of this absolute complementarity, the idea of the better half. Which naturally affects those of us who may be in a relationship as well as those who see it from the outside. The idea that if you have two girlfriends, for example, each of them is less loved or important than a wife in a traditional relationship. Thematic treated quite well in my opinion in both To Love-Ru and Kanojo mo Kanojo. My answer is no, both can be perfectly equally important, and I think the idea that one must be "enough" for someone, as well as absolutely responsible for the couple's happiness is a view that tends to be very damaging to both the partners in the relationship and the relationship itself.

This is a responsibility that in my opinion is much more pronounced in a society of "appearances" such as the Japanese one.

This topic goes on for a long time and there are many things as important as or more important to deal with in this subject, but this is my contribution.

I hope it will be useful to someone to clarify a situation, take a weight off your shoulders, investigate or encourage you to make an introspection on the matter. I say goodbye, greetings and best wishes to all.

By RainbowYami