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#my own instinctive desire to fly too close to the sun and to take everybody on a ridiculous journey
itspileofgoodthings
·
24 days
Text
I give my grad speech in a week, have been writing a million versions of what I want to say in my head all year, talked to my mom last night, boy did she separate the wheat from the chaff.
#teaching tag
#allskskskksksjsjs my mom one of the only people in the world who knows me and appreciates me but is not under the influence of my charm
#even a little bit
#skksksksksjsj actually my whole family is like this. which is a GIFT. and also something that can be so hard for me skskkdjdjdjdjdjjd
#truly my most ruthless critics
#but I wanted to cut things down in my own mind to the truest and most bare essentials
#and that’s why I asked my mom! because I wanna get the core straightened out
#will it end up being slightly more joke-y and vulnerable than she would like? yeah. but I am not my mom and cannot live as if I were
#anyway have I thought too much about this speech? 100%. and wildly overestimated its actual importance
#which is pretty small. so I have a week to wrangle myself back in line
#idk i know it’s a good thing—the wave of excitement I can create
#and I’ve had many people tell me they’re so looking forward to it etc.
#but with it also comes a lot of pressure. a lot of pressure to be funny and to be charming
#my own instinctive desire to fly too close to the sun and to take everybody on a ridiculous journey
#but I want to go back to the core. especially in my teaching
#it feels extremely important to me
#anyway. what I need to do is let this go. and pray. and stop having a huge ego etc.
#but it’s very hard because I am a self-obsessed narcissist who LOVES the sound of her own voice
#I am also exhausted and have a lot of teaching/grading to do in the next week
#sorry just processing thank you for listening
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