#truly my most ruthless critics

[pigeonpeach]

Love behind the Spotlight

Aka Robin x fmab reader

SPOILERS BTW made before the most recent update!

Warnings: death, spoilers, suicidal thoughts, lil smut, reader is called girlfriend sometimes, not proofread

“Sorry I’m late! The paparazzi out there are ruthless!” You quickly pushed your back to the door and locked it just incase. You visibly relaxed upon hearing the familiar click.

“Its okay love, you’re one time actually, they have to fix the set so we have some time.” Robin said, getting up from her chair to give you a quick peck. This woman was a goddess in your eyes, how else could you explain how easily you relaxed in her company, how all the troubles of the world faded into nothing when her wings cupped your face while you kissed. A bottle of soulglad could never compare to a kiss from Robin to you. Dreamscape or not, Robin is what truly made your life magical. You could tell she was a little tense, she seemed worried.

“Is something the matter? Was someone rude?” You rolled up your sleeves but she placed her hand on your arm.

“No…its just those articles.. they say I’ve gained weight..” Robin’s smile faded.

“Gained? If anything you should! You’re quite literally light as a feather! Those journalists have their heads up their ass and gossip on the brain 24/7. You could get a actual trashcan to write a better article than most of them. They only want more attention, and you just happened to be the prettiest and most perfect punching bag for them to take it out on.” You gently petted her wings, not wanting to mess up her hair. She reminded you of your pet bird in the way her eyes would close a little whenever you tended to her like this.

“I know its just exhausting to constantly be a target. At least I have you… I hope that we can go public someday..” she looked at you with smile, that radiant curve that rewired your brain like a addiction.

“Someday, I’m going to kiss you right infront of those annoying fans who try to ask you out. And I’ll flip them off. I’ll give those journalists something to write about.” You smiled. She did as well..

“This.. this is your choice in partner?” Sunday didn’t seemed pleased. Robin seemed agitated at that.

“What do you mean by that? They’re nothing but loyal and honest to me!” She was on edge and he could sense that.

“I just simply thought you could do better. Even if you are into… well.. girls, there’s far better options for a celebrity like yourself. Not that I doubt you love them, if you’re relationship with them ever got out then it would be nothing but controversy. People would accuse you of taking advantage of them, lying to your fans, all sorts of things.” He sighed. “It’s just a disaster waiting to happen.”

“Well.. I’d rather have them by my side for that then. They make me feel more confident and assured. I feel safe in their presence. I already get unnecessarily criticized and wrapped into controversies regardless of what I do, At least this way I do so happily.” She huffed.

“I can see they’ve been a influence on you, although I can’t say its that bad.. just be careful. We’ll try to ease the public into it. Probably starting with the notion, then more public appearances, song’s mentioning the situation and then finally the announcement. How long have you two been dating?”

“A year actually.”

“YOU didn’t TELL ME!”

“I should leave soon, otherwise the media will be wondering why I’m sleeping over.” You sighed, starting to lace up your attire, your back turned to her, you knew if you just saw the top of her collarbone right now you would never be able to leave this room, but then the media would speculate. There was already rumors, you had seen it online of people joking Robin was into you even from your friendly interactions. If you didn’t leave soon then it would only add fuel to the fire. But you didn’t want to. Her bed was comfy, the sheets were silken and soft and the mattress cupped your body so lovingly, that’s not even mentioning the cuddle expert Robin is. How her gentle voice is better than the sleeping pills you have to take if you wish to get any sleep, how her soft hands hold you like otters drifting in the sea, and when you watch her wings twitch in her sleep. Her hand traced your back, like a hypnosis you had ceased movement, but Robin would never need to use the harmony on you, if she wanted something she could ask and you would comply easily.

“Please?” That’s all it took for your resolve to crumble. You could never say no to that face or that voice. You discarded your pants that hadn’t even been zipped yet, kicking them off to some corner in the dark.

“Who am I to refuse?” You smiled playfully as you rejoined her under the sheets. Her hands quickly yanked you into her embrace. She pecked your face with kisses, like a bird preening its lover, her hands smoothed the messy bedhair you now had.

“I love you.. I love you so much..” she whispered inbetween kisses. You could tell from her voice and demeanor then that you wouldn’t sleep that night.

Your hand found its way to her back, tracing the shoulder blades while she dotted your face with whatever was left of her lipstick. You would go through a whole packet of makeup wipes tomorrow but it’d be worth it. You wouldn’t leave this bed if your life depended on it. It would be nice to die in her arms afterall, you would die happy if you went out while she was eating you out. Her kisses trailed down and down until she was at your chest, without hesitation she swirled her tongue on your breasts like she knew you liked it. You gasped as you held your hand to your mouth.

“Robin? Robin?” A voice sounded from the door as you both froze. By instinct you dove under the sheets as she hurriedly put her night gown back on, meanwhile you covered yourself in her pillows and plushies to further hide your form.

“Sorry sorry.” She said as she placed one final pillow over you then opened the door. “What is it?”

“Your performance was cancelled due to a technical issue at the venue. Apparently some of the tech there broke overnight and they don’t have hopes itll be repaired in time. So you can sleep in tonight.” Sunday said.

“Oh that’s great!”

“Also has your assistant gone home? I didn’t see them take one of the guest rooms.” He asked. She paused before smiling a bit.

“Actually.. they’re spending the night..” she said quietly to him. He looked at her skeptically, but ultimately he just sighed.

“Just be quiet.” He left afterwards. You heard the door close and lock as Robin quickly pounced onto the bed, digging you out of your makeshift burial with a eager expression. “You won’t mind being quiet tonight right?”

“You’ll have to gag me.”

“Where’s Robin?” You approached Sunday confused, you had a week off work so you had been having some time to yourself, enjoying the festivities and atmosphere of the dreamscape. Sunday seemed different, usually he was more relaxed in a situation like this, where he’s simply standing around at the balcony, overlooking Peacony’s scenery like he is its god.

“She’s… a little busy at the moment. Your vacation has been extended. Enjoy your time off.” He said. You immediately didn’t buy it.

“Bull shit where the fuck is she?” You said, your heart starting to race. For once Sunday looked uncertain, panicked even. It was not pleasing or assuring to see, you felt dread building in your stomach. “What happened… why aren’t you saying anything…”

“Robin… is fine.. just enjoy your vacation. Its paid as well so you’ll have no worries.” He repeated like a broken record.

“She has a performance coming up, I’m supposed to go with her.” You said. “Are you firing me? What is going on?!”

“You are not being fired. You l.. lets take this inside..” he looked at you with a look you could only describe as guilt and sympathy. You felt only worse as you followed him into his office.

“There you are~” you felt relieved to hear her voice coming from behind. Robin smiled as always as she quickly engulfed you in a hug.

“Don’t be so silly brother~ I could always use a extra hand!” Robins arm wrapped around you confidently, something she only did in complete utter privacy. Your heart sank, this isn’t her usual demeanor. She’s playful in scenarios sure, where its just you and her, or sunday too sometimes, but she has some composure to her.

“Robin I’m so goad you’re okay.” You hugged her awkwardly, wondering if something was wrong. You could hear Sunday growing apprehensive.

“That’s enough you fool.. its one thing to play an act for appearances but to try and fool her lover?!” Sunday hissed, you immediately backed off looking at him then ‘Robin’ who now had a uncharacteristic smile on her face. Within a instant its like she was gone, now replaced by a twin tailed, scantily dressed, clothed in red lady with the most devilish smirk.

“You’re no fun, i thought we really had to sell this illusion.” She teased.

“What the fuck”. You backed up as you felt your world crumble. Sunday got s stand in… but why? What happened to Robin. He turned to you with a look of sympathy.

“Look I understand you’re confused but you can’t speak about this. The Family is trying to avoid a panic so we must keep this under wraps.. Robin is.. well..” you had always known Sunday to be the perfect guy, spokesperson, model, negotiator, whatever. His composure was pristine and his fake smile never faltered even with you. Now it did. And that devilish lady wasn’t helping.

“You’re little girlfriend is dead~” she said tauntingly. With that you felt a sense of numbness come over.

“Bu-but… people can’t die in the dreamscapes.. how..”

“That’s what we’re trying to find out. Now I ask you don’t react irrationally, I could use some help on the case and-“

“Robin is dead… she’s dead.. like.. I’ll never see her again?” You asked baffled.

“She got murdered by some weird black eyed creature~” The lady added, Sunday shot her another glare.

“Sparkle if you’re going to be so insensitive then I ask you leave, you are not helping this meeting!” He said.

“Hey, I’m not the one who can’t tell her the truth. She was your sister’s girlfriend the least you can do is tell her what happened!” She didn’t stand down one bit.

But you weren’t focused on them. They were to busy arguing to notice you were now crying. You thought about your last text to her. ‘It doesn’t feel like a vacation when you’re not here with me :(‘ she had responded with a heart, and a message assuring you that you would be reunited soon. Maybe even a joke about how she’d work you even harder since you liked your job so much. Such things that warmed your heart now froze it instead, tearing at the veins and flesh like a blender. You sunk to the floor as you failed to comprehend the world around you.

“Do you feel better now.” Sunday asked cautiously as you laid in the cushions in his office. Sparkle having been kicked out for her unhelpful comments. You had never known Sunday to be fond of you in any way. To be honest you didn’t think he was capable of of it. But you guessed he just wanted to share his pain with someone. You knew how the family was, you knew how secretive everything must be. You never took the job offer with the intention of falling for its shinning idol. In fact you initially thought of her as annoying. She was so perfect in the light with no flaws, but when you saw the person off stage and in the shadows you fell for her. You loved Robin, not the idol not the celebrity, the person. The person who’s wings would hide her face when she was shy, the person who was always so nice to you, who saw you as more than a hired help but a person. You had worked for many celebrities before, smaller and bigger and none were like her. Your love had been the slowest of burns, and you imagined it would be a eternal flame.

“I don’t… I feel like shit.” You replied. You would never feel her warmth, her presence, her love, her sudden boldness, anything Robin was now gone.

“I understand. Its why I wanted to give you more vacation time.” He explained.

“So you wouldn’t have told me?” You asked, you were too tired to yell or scream. You had always been a passionate person. You would curse out paparazzi and make rude remarks. You would play the villain so Robin didn’t have to ruin her image by standing up for herself, but now you could only be as you were. A corpse laying on the ground waiting to be engulfed by the earth.

“I wasn���t allowed to. No one is supposed to know of her death. The family.. is covering it up until more information comes out.”

“How did she die.. how can anyone die in the dreamscape?” You asked. He paused.

“She was.. murdered… as for death in the dreamscape, I’m just as puzzled as you are.” He said, but you felt he knew more. You had no more fight in you now though, he could shoot you right here and you wouldn’t budge or try to dodge.

“If death can happen in the dreamscape… could it happen to me too.” You didn’t mean to say that outloud but he heard it anyways.

“Are-are you saying that you wish to die!” He sounded shocked.

“I don’t have anything outside of work. All I have ever been is a employee for brighter stars, Robin was the only one who made life more enjoyable and lively. I haven’t. I promised to protect her till the end and I failed. The least I could do is join her in death.” You said. You didn’t bother to look at his face.

“I understand how you feel. I miss Robin too. I want nothing more than to find her murderer and drag them through the streets. I’d love nothing more than to just curse them out on live television. But i cannot.”

“I loved her Sunday. I loved her more than anything in this life, dreamscape, reality, nothing compared to her. I’d pluck the stars from the skies if she asked, I’d grovel at her feet and lay my jacket in muddy puddles if she asked. I’d do anything.. and now all I’m left with is this pain. I hate it… I hate it.” You sat up clutching your head.

“I understand. I never had any doubts that you loved her. Nor did I ever doubt your loyalty to her once. All my life I have been the protective brother, I felt like I had to be, the world was so cruel and she was so innocent. When you joined it made me worried, I did everything I could to find something against you, nothing weighed enough to prove my suspicions right. If anyone was a good fit for my sister, it was you.” He said. You sighed.

“How am I supposed to live like this then? What exactly should I live for. What use is life when no one gives you a reason to live.” You sighed.

“I don’t want to lose you too. Although we aren’t close, I don’t want to be the only one in this world who grieves for her. The loneliness I feel is so much worse without her.”

“Its hard to smile when you have nothing to smile for huh?” You added. “How do you plan on handling this, you always have a plan don’t you?”

“I do alright. I’ll make that.. creature pay…” his tone changed. You looked at him with a little surprise. You learned a lot more about your almost brother in law in this moment than you had the years you worked for his sister.

“Wouldn’t it be dangerous, if it can kill people in the dreamscape then how could you possibly.. handle it.”

“Rest assured I have my plans and theories. If you would like, I could use help enacting some.” He said. You sat uncertain. His tone was more unhinged, his hands were clutched at the table’s edge so tight you swore the wood creaked. The halo on his head shook as he attempted to steady himself. You were scared seeing him like this. He had been mad before but he never once let down that polite smile or mannered voice.

“Just get me a bottle of something and I’ll hear you out. I don’t want to feel this pain in my chest anymore.”

“That’s not an answer.” He said. You pondered for a minute. You weighed by grief, kept in the seat. But you knew you needed something to do if you wanted to live.

“I’ll help.“ you answered.

[yaltghoul]

This is not written with any hatred nor criticism, which I will get into more in a bit, but I feel like, among the three daughters, Penelope is the most like Portia.

Prudence and Phillipa are dense. There is no kind way to word that. They lack both emotional and intellectual quotients. There is no street nor book smarts. On top of that, they both are, especially this season, intentionally cruel to Penelope.

Portia tends to also say cruel things to Pen, but they seem to be based on a jaded perspective rather than being malicious. Like saying she shouldn’t expect to find a marriage in her third year on the Mart and that True Love is fictitious, or even scolding her for reading. Those statements were not said to hurt Penelope’s feelings, rather to advise her based on her own experiences not only as a past debutante, who we all know did not marry for love, but also as a mother who has now had to shepherd three daughters simultaneously through the Mart and hear the gossip that is said against all the girls. She always speaks with good intention, but we all know that those pave the path to Hell.

No, Portia isn’t deliberately mean. She is a huge gossip, cunning, steadfast in her convictions, a great liar and schemer, witty, and truly devoted to those she cares about. Every action throughout the series has been to assure the comfort and security of her daughters. Again, good intentions and all that.

Who else have we seen in this series who is witty, cunning, a great schemer, a huge gossip, and truly devoted to those she cares about?

Penelope.

Penelope, who is cunning and scheming enough, not only to have her own business, but to keep it a secret. A business that relies on her using her wit to spread gossip. When she opens up to someone, when she begins to care about them, that wit and cunning come out in such a force that it is only matched by her devotion to them.

Like Portia, she has good intentions when she schemes. Such as revealing Marina’s pregnancy or divulging Eloise’s unchaperoned trips to the printer. She doesn’t do both of those to be cruel or malicious. She does it to ensure the Bridgertons, namely Colin and Eloise, are safe. Safe from entrapment, in the case with Colin, and safe from the Queen’s unjustified wrath, as was the case with Eloise.

You see a lot once Penelope comes out of her shell in S3 pt1 that she matches her mom’s sharp tongue in their interactions. Squares off to her. The apple truly didn’t fall far from the tree.

But despite her cunning and scheming, she is also naturally more kind and soft than her family, which is where the Bridgertons come in. The Bridgertons are the Featherington’s Foil. Without them, Penelope would no doubt turn into Portia; unhappy, unkind, and ruthless. But her relationship with Eloise and Colin steer her toward a life of love and happiness.

Portia never cried after stabbing the young Lord Featherington in the back. She never wracked her hands over the forgery of George’s note to Marina. We never see the guilt. But Penelope… We see her sob and run to Eloise after writing about Marina. We see her break her quill after writing about Eloise. We see the grief, the shame, the guilt that she is wracked with, feelings which are only made possible by her relationships with The Bridgertons. With the love and kindness that they all exude.

This is what makes Penelope such a rich, dynamic, complex character that I love. She is flawed. She is diverse. She makes mistakes, lies, schemes, and loves with all her heart. She pines and frets. The complexity of her character is what makes her relationship with her mother feel real; makes it feel tangible, like I could grab it with my hands. It makes her relationship with the Bridgertons all the more sweet.

[the-badger-mole]

Azula stans really need to stop projecting the tough childhoods they had unto her. She is not some helpless little girl who never did anything bad on her own accord. Her fangirls are nothing but toxic terfs who think any criticism for them are sins from the patriarchy, please.

Idk enough Azula apologists to say they are all terfs or not, but I think the larger issue is people aren't comfortable rooting for the bad guy anymore. I, personally blame Wicked. I love the show, and I really liked the book, but it kickstarted this trend of What If stories that make villains more sympathetic. In a lot of cases, they just outright flip who was the villain and who was the hero, which is the least interesting thing you could do in terms of exploring a villain character's motives (glaring daggers at you, Maleficent).

No one is all black or all white. Everyone exists in shades of grey, and that includes villains. There's nothing wrong with exploring the grey areas of villains. Some of the best villains in literature are multi-dimensional. Some of them are even sympathetic, but at the end of the day, they are villains and nothing justifies their destruction. The best recent example I can think of is Killmonger from the Black Panther movie. He wasn't wrong to criticize the exploitation of Africa and the Black Diaspora by the West. He wasn't wrong for thinking that Wakanda should've stepped up and intervened. His anger was absolutely justified, but his methods absolutely were not. As an audience we can both love and empathize with Killmonger but also admit he was the villain.

That is, unfortunately, not how a lot of Azula's staunchest defenders approach her. Instead of allowing themselves to feel empathy for her, even though she is definitely in the wrong and has definitely made decisions on her own accord that show her own moral compass is broken, they have to turn her into a victim of circumstance. I think that is actually a very sexist way to look at Azula, though I don't really think for the most part her defenders are trying to be. Azula made choices she didn't have to. She was a child who was likely abused (albeit in a different way from Zuko). She was also an abuser herself, and very ruthless and cunning in her own right. All those things can be true at the same time, but Azula defenders can't seem to accept that.

Now I could speculate on why this is, and personally, I think it's because of this really annoying trend of needing your fandom opinions to align with your morals. I don't have much to base that on, though. I don't spend a ton of time engaging with a lot of people on the opposite end of the fandom from me, so I haven't heard directly from the more rational Azula defenders on why they think the way they do (the ones I've interacted with have been just...the worst and I didn't care to engage with them for long). Even if I did, who is self aware enough to say "my need to defend this villain is because I don't feel comfortable liking them if they are truly bad"? My opinion is based entirely on the posts that I see on my feed sometimes of mutuals getting asks that accuse them of terrible things because of the characters and tropes they like. Also, on the metas I sometimes see explaining how rather than being the villain, Azula was a broken little thing who had been failed by everyone around her, including her brother- who was a child himself, and her uncle- who couldn't have intervened even if he wanted because Azula wouldn't have ever accepted his help.

I could be right, or I could be way off base, but I think if we're ever going to see a decline in the rabid defenders of characters like Azula, we have to get to a point where we can admit we like bad guys without trying to make them heroes. It's okay to like a character and still want to see them defeated in the end. Or to want to see them win, even if it means that evil has triumphed. It doesn't mean anything about you as a person. It just means that you like a good story.

[transactinides]

Serious Discussion

I would like to address a pretty concerning trend I have seen in Ensemble Stars!! fandom for the last couple of days. I will do my best to stay calm, collected and professional for this post, but I am not sure how long will I last, given the severity of the situation.

So let's talk.

As many of you know, Scout! Sweetling Seekers had started on Global server of Ensemble Stars!! just two days ago, and already I was forced to encounter some truly appalling behavior from a lot of fans. Lacking any true appreciation, admiration, understanding and connection with Niki Shiina, they nonetheless pull on the scout banner, as if they are anything but ungrateful, clueless philistines, who do not deserve [Illusory Sweetling] Niki Shiina! They treat him like an extra addition to their overstuffed card collection, like just another cute illustration, some don't even particularly want to get Niki Shiina and try their luck at gacha because they have nothing better to scout for! I see all of your self-masturbatory smug post, the "OMG got him from my first 10-pull" and the "Only spent 7k dias teehee".

Do you even think about how would that affect us, true fans of Niki Shiina? Us, who have spent countless hours grinding, who have poured our hard-earned money into this game, just to see our hopes crushed by the ruthless unpredictability of RNG. Being lucky doesn't make you better. Being lucky doesn't mean you care about him more. Being lucky doesn't mean you deserved to be.

Did the fleeting thrill of seeing your screen light up in rainbow colors make you happy? Accomplished? Or will you just move on to the next shiny thing the second the new scout drops? With the way some of you treat Niki Shiina, I don't think I need to hear an answer to this question.

Niki Shiina is, perhaps, one of the most critically underrated and misunderstood characters in Ensemble Stars!!. People reduce his complex, nuanced personality and backstory to a couple of surface-level jokes, warp him until he's unrecognizable so he can better serve as supporting cast for their faves, flat out ignore most of the canon material about him. Again, you do not care about Niki Shiina, you do not understand him and you definitely do not deserve him.

For me, Niki Shiina is more than just a silly guy from an idol game. He is my favorite character, he is my idol and my inspiration in life, he brings me comfort and helps me love myself for the traits we share. Me and Niki Shiina are kindred souls, and most of you could never understand the connection we share. If there truly is any justice in this world, Niki Shiina will come home on my next pull, while the rest of you posers would get nothing but 3-star trash for the rest of your miserable gaming lives. Hopefully that would teach you an important lesson in staying in your lane.

[adastra121]

Minerva the Exiled

I made the magic mentor/exiled Senobium mage from my Touchstarved Alchemist!MC Jin's backstory.

Pronouns: She/Her Birthday: January 7 Height: 5’10 (178 cm) Personality: Cold, calculating and ruthless in her quest for knowledge Likes: Reading, solving puzzles, tea, coffee, late night walks, new discoveries Dislikes: Injustice, stagnation, messiness, stupidity, insomnia, the unknown, Monsters Fatal flaw: Overwhelming need for control over everything Other: She prefers to travel by land because she gets seasick. Quote: "You are my legacy. For better or worse."

More about her below:

Minerva was once a promising student of the Senobium. She was not Highborn and she was no prodigy, but she worked hard to become a master of magic and had an unquenchable thirst for knowledge. She left her broken home in Lowtown and never looked back.

At a young age, she performed on the same level as some of the more experienced mages.

But as Minerva grew older, so too did her disdain for the elite magic academy and the powerful leaders within it. She became disillusioned with the institution and sought to bring about change.

She was exiled from the Senobium because she didn’t share their views. Locking knowledge away from the people. Using Monsters for their own ends — power, injustice — when they were meant to be the last bastion of humanity.

She does share their questionable ethics, however. She probably would have captured Vere and learned everything she could about him through careful experimentation. But after she’s learned everything, there’s no use for creatures like him in their world.

She theorizes that Fogfall, the apocalypse, is a disease. The Senobium’s ultimate goal should be to find the cure.

The Senobium leashes and enslaves Monsters, where their main focus should be to study them, find ways to harness their power so they will not depend on them for as menial tasks as Soulless hunting.

“You believe collaring one means we have power over it? You say he is of more use to us alive than dead. So why not make it so that we no longer need him?”

The Senobium should strengthen humanity, not stagnate it. It should certainly not make humanity more vulnerable to the apocalyptic horrors that surround it.

And worse still, the Senobium hoards knowledge that could help the less fortunate.

The Senobium has become more interested in wealth and status, temporary achievements — where is the search for knowledge? For answers? For salvation?

Minerva is coldly altruistic.

She has a very strict moral code, so much so that she is willing to give up everything for what she believes in — power, status, love. If she has to, she’ll burn the world and rebuild a better one from the ashes by herself.

Deep down, she is lonely. She’s resigned herself to a path of solitude, it is but a natural consequence for pursuing a greatness, not only for herself but for the future of mankind.

But Jin truly was the most important person in her life. She saw much of her younger self in him. She believed — hoped — that they would one day cure the world of Fogfall.

She holds herself to very high standards and so expected the same of Jin. Perfection was the minimum, not an accomplishment to be celebrated.

She knew she was hard on her apprentice, but she believed she was justified. She was training him for a world that would not be kind to someone like him, a cross between human and monstrous — Jin had to pick a side, and if he chose to be monstrous, well…then the world would have to be cleansed of him, too. She only hopes to guide him in the right direction so it does not come to that.

Besides that, she truly believes every criticism she has of him. Jin is weak, naive, sensitive, shortsighted, emotional, dangerous to people…She wouldn’t be wrong for pointing all of it out to him — she is simply stating the facts. He can control how he reacts to that, and he can control his next steps to better himself.

Because of his curse, he bears a heavier burden than most. Minerva believed he shouldn’t ever forget that. He should always fear the monstrous part of himself — that’s how he’ll avoid hurting others. He should always be on guard against himself.

She saw him as an abomination and ensured he did as well. Minerva believed that she had acted appropriately for his reality. Regardless of her fondness for the boy, he was cursed. And if he truly wanted to be more than his monstrous parts, he has to accept that he’ll constantly be making up for that evil, dangerous part of him. In order to do that, he must always be aware of it, he must never forget that he is inherently dangerous.

She taught Jin that respect is earned and one’s worth is proven. Minerva never owed him any kindness yet she gave him food, clothes, magic, and a home — so he owes it to her to ensure that her kindness was not wasted.

Minerva is not good at dealing with feelings, whether it is other people’s or her own. Her coping strategy is just to repress everything and channel it into action. She expects the same from those around her.

She saw Jin as too sensitive for his own good. His bleeding heart prevented him from realizing his full potential.

Of course, he is free to do as he wishes, as any fully autonomous individual — he should just remember that all his mistakes come at a greater cost — but if he’s going to allow his emotions to rule his thoughts and actions, he shouldn’t expect her to take him seriously. It is beneath her to entertain him when he gets like this.

She has insomnia and uses the nights she cannot sleep to further her research. As a child, Jin would try to keep her company as she worked, but he’d always fall asleep before her. She would sing lullabies to him as he slept. When he grew older, whenever Jin found her awake in the late hours of the night, he would prepare her some calming tea.

Minerva won’t ever admit that she needed Jin as much as he needed her. I don’t think she actually wanted to be a mother so much as she wanted a legacy. She did not ask for nor want a child, but she also could not let him go — both for the potential wealth of power and knowledge his curse offered but also because she’s been alone for a long time. It was nice to have someone unconditionally on her side.

And Minerva probably enjoyed the validation that came with someone who looked up to her, saw her as their whole world. After years of having her beliefs ignored and shunned by the Senobium, it was nice to have someone believe in her, listen to her.

She saw so much potential in this small child. If she could shape it into true power, guide him to greatness, perhaps she, too, could be great.

Her MBTI is INTJ

Zodiac sign is Capricorn

Enneagram is 1

And here's her full character design! I wanted to put in the deep blue since Jin's colour scheme is predominantly purple, and one of his routes is Ais, so it'd kind of be like he's at a crossroads between his past and his potential future.

I think I ended up making her resemble a stained glass window at a cathedral, which kind of works with her past as a Senobium student/cleric.

I have also made a character playlist for her:

“Wanderer’s Lullaby” by Adriana Figueroa

“Angry Too” by Lola Blanc

“Judas” by Cage the Elephant

“Empire” by Beth Crowley

“I Will Not Bow” by Breaking Benjamin

“Warrior of the Mind” by Jorge Rivera-Herrans and Taegen Earley

“Lilith” by Halsey ft. SUGA

“Perfect” by Alanis Morissette

“My Goodbye” by Jorge Rivera-Herrans and Taegen Earley

“All That I’ve Done for You” (Tangled deleted song)

"The Family Jewels" by Marina and the Diamonds

“君はできない子 (Kimi wa Dekinai Ko)” by Kikuo

“Letters Goodbye” by Veralia

[laurrelise]

me when i meet someone for the first time and i want to say:

“have you ever watched the umbrella academy? it’s a great show, you really should. it’s about a dysfunctional family of childhood superheroes who underwent serious trauma from their emotionally absent father and grow up to be insanely dynamic and interesting individuals who have to save the world but just keep failing over and over. my favorite character is five, a 58 year-old man in the body of his 13 year-old self who can teleport and time travel but got it wrong the first time and had to survive for over 40 years as the last living human in an apocalyptic wasteland before being recruited by an organization that exists outside of time that keeps the space-time continuum in harmony with itself to become the most lethal assassin known to man for not only his learned talents but also his superhuman abilities. he cares about his family more than anything and sacrificed just about everything he’s ever had to save them time and time again to go under-appreciated by everyone around him. he has a witty charm to him, but just about zero social skills due to several decades which he spent alone but is so extremely smart that at times it’s even difficult to conceptualize just what spending time inside his brain would entail. i find his character so complex and interesting that i’m sure if motivated, i could write several essays on each of his arcs, virtues, and traits. the show is also very loved, especially by myself, due to its beautifully selected soundtrack with some of my favorite songs and such beautiful vocals from artists all throughout time including some of the cast members from the show itself. i especially love ‘stormy weather’ covered and recorded by emmy raver-lampman, featured in season one episode eight, as her character, allison hargreeves, drives through a rainstorm to help save her sister while she thinks about how her entire life has been a lie due to the curse that her abilities inevitably cast upon her. the song gives me chills every time i hear it, from its beautiful vintage-string sound to emmy’s phenomenal vocals, it’s truly an underrated classic that i believe should be talked about so much more. i also love ‘stay with me’, covered and recorded by mary j. blige, also featured in season one episode eight, as her character cha-cha, a ruthless time-traveling hitwoman, seeks unfair revenge on her work partner who chose humanity to go live out his last days with the love of his life. both of these songs push the limits of the musical talent and power these women hold. i could truly go on about the show for hours, but i absolutely can’t recommend it enough. the first two seasons are some of my favorite pieces of film i’ve ever had the pleasure of enjoying, as even though the show isn’t artistically-shot or critically acclaimed, it’s so well-written, produced, and acted that it creates a spark of excitement deep within me that my words simply can’t describe.”

… but i have to say “hi, i’m lauren. nice to meet you.”

[pepperinstarryskyicecream]

Currently going through the whole DA triology from DAO DA2 and now going through DAI. Love the series but what pains me the most is seeing how Lelianna is in DAI. She was my Warden's bff along with Morrigan, and I truly adore her character so much. In DAO she was this sweet, bubbly person, who will invite you to go shopping with her and tease you about your love interest. Yet, she still has a pragmatic and ruthless edge due to her past (like how she would casually tell you the manipulation game she played when she was a minstrel or when she told Alistair to, for a lack of better word, harden himself up when they discussed about Lothering's fate after the attack). I love how she was portrayed in DAO, and choose to softened her in her quest, telling her that she is not alone anymore, she is different from Marjolaine and can choose to be good, my Warden even promise her that after the Blight is over they would continue to go on adventuring.

And then here we are, 10 years later and she slipped back to her old lifestyle and it pain me so much to see her like this. Not to say that this development was illogical, but rather it makes sense in my canon playthrough. My Warden committed the ultimate sacrifice, leaving her behind and break their promise. Everyone in the old band has their own place to go and she is left to her own device again. She has lost so much, from Marjolaine, her little cloister in Lothering, have to witness her friend died right in front of her and her new found family quickly disband after everything is over. So obviously, she went back to what she was familiar with, to her game of manipulate people and secrets.

Seeing her becoming so relentless and unforgiving in DAI really breaks my heart. Where is my BFF bard who is so passionate about fashion and shoes and will talk your ears out about all the tales that she has gathered. The critical hit was her comment when Inky asked her about HoF "The world has been duller since she died, it still is" 😭😭😭😭. Despite only spent time with HoF for only a year, she still hold my Warden dear in her heart even after all this time (in DA2 she even said she wrote songs of their adventure together, like my gosh that is so precious)

[difeisheng]

honest thoughts on guzhou | a lonely hero's journey up to episode 10/36 (some vague spoilers ahead):

overall, i'm pleased with this drama, and it's worth the year i waited for it. don't listen to the mydramalist rating if you're considering watching, a nonzero amount of vocal criticism for this seems to be from people who aren't the target audience for this show and have decided to make that other people's problem. the plot is tightly written, with twists i'm enjoying anticipating and decent pacing (that earns honest praise from me on that last one, because bad pacing is one of the things i loathe most in a drama). production and the soundtrack are good. character dynamics are for the most part complex and fascinating, whether they're friendly ones or absolutely wretched. special mention to gu xixing and his attempts to look out for his children both biological and foster, the differences in values between everyone involved are tearing them apart but he's doing his best.

acting, overall, is decent. shoutout to the casting director for zeng shunxi and zhang songwen as the leads, their scenes together have been some of my favourites for sure and they play this antagonistic mentor/student dynamic very well. as far as i can tell based on his upcoming dramas, as well as guzhou, zeng shunxi is trying to leave behind the tianzhen young master roles a la wu xie or fang duobing in lieu of a bit more mature/serious characters, and he's doing great with this one. balancing out gu yizhong's motivations and fears is not an easy role, but there have been some acting moments in this from him that gave me legitimate chills. zhang songwen on the other side is doing a fantastic job as expected, playing zhou zhifei as a ruthless and calculating opponent, but also quite sympathetic. no notes, he's a treat whenever he's onscreen.

my only major problem with this show is that the character of xiao ruotong is frustratingly written, exacerbated by the fact that the other people she interacts with are written well. she's second female lead and in a relationship with gu yizhong at the start of the show, and supposedly these two are 青梅竹马, but we're not really given any reason to root for them as a couple other than that they already are one. yizhong's interactions with zhang haimo make for a far more compelling onscreen dynamic by comparison. and yet after yizhong cuts ties with her for her own safety and his own, ruotong is continually chasing after yizhong to the point that she ruins multiple missions for her undercover unit, unable to separate team objective from emotions. each time, she gets scolded for it, and her unit leader rightfully tries to keep her out of the next active mission given that she's proven to be a liability, yet the plot somehow bends so that she's allowed to keep going out. only to just stand there staring like a startled deer at yizhong in the actual moment. she hasn't been given very much to do otherwise, with little room for character growth, and it's a shame. i know romance is not the focus of a 谋战剧 but unfortunately ruotong has truly been kept rather useless by the plot so far, as both a love interest and in her capacity as a field agent.

however, that's only one specific aspect of the show i have a bone to pick with, and as i said, it's a solid drama overall. i'm deeply entertained and intrigued by everything else it's got going, and i for one will be following it until it finishes.

[daydreaming-en-pointe]

⇢ ˗ˏˋ you know the greatest loves of all time are over now. ࿐ྂ

Pairing: Hobie Brown (Spider-Punk) x GN!Reader

Type: Oneshot - Angst

Warnings: Angst, Reader is dead (died before the events of ATSV), Hobie visits their grave, mentions of death (and grief), use of nicknames (sunshine, my love), inconsistent-ish Hobie accent (I’m trying my best but this man’s accent is so confusing 😭)

Word count: 930

A/N: This is my first proper attempt at angst with Hobie, and I’m still getting the hang of it so any constructive criticism or feedback is welcome! 💜

I might’ve gotten a bit carried away lmao

We never painted by the numbers, baby

But we were making it count

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now

I guess you never know, never know

And it’s another day waking up alone

(the 1 by Taylor Swift)

Inky tendrils of darkness curled into the atmosphere, chasing away any traces of light remaining. Cruelly fitting, he had to admit, considering the reason for his visit.

Everyone was probably either asleep or trying to get there, but he couldn’t sleep. How could he? It wasn’t like his thoughts were occupied by anything else. The incident had happened a few months ago, yet it was all he could remember during the darkest hours of the night when he didn’t have it in him to push it away, to bury it under a false sense of happiness like trying to hold a sheet of glass together while it was cracking. Glue could only do so much to hold the fragile shards together.

Your voice, your laugh, the way your eyes scrunched when you smiled, how you would dance around to your favourite song, the way you could soothe his worries that would spiral into despair without you and calm him with a simple embrace.

He remembered everything clearly, which only added to the pain of it all. Jokes which were so bad that they got you giggling almost hysterically, spinning around on rooftops, tending to his wounds, making him food when he was exhausted, loyally coming to every one of his shows, painting his nails, waking up practically wrapped around him like a koala, cuddling after long, tiring days, holding him close and whispering sweet reassurances that he so easily believed as they fell from your lips.

“Wha’ would I ever do without ya, sunshine?”

Those words so innocently chuckled out on a park bench, his head on your lap while he looked up at you like you were the most gorgeous thing he had ever seen — which, of course, you were in his eyes.

Now he didn’t have to imagine.

It was truly twisted how fate could snatch someone so suddenly, right after they’d promised that they’d be there forever. Twisted that he had just enough time to start believing that out of all the inconsistencies in his life, you might be an exception, one for the better.

Hobie stood in the bitter cold, the light dusting of snow mingling with mud crunching under his boots. The thin material of his leather vest and trousers on top of his spider suit was definitely not enough to keep him warm, but he was barely registering the chill creeping in through his clothes as he pulled off his mask.

His eyes ghosted over your tombstone, reading the all-too-familiar words etched into the stone. He let a shaky exhale and leaned down to drop a bundle of flowers in front of the unforgiving marble, displaying that name - carrying so much gravity because of the person it once belonged to - with a ruthless, twisted sort of pride.

The birthday - no, birth anniversary - of the love of his life. Those two words sounded hollow and meaningless, yet carried the weight of an impossibly heavy truth behind them. You were gone. You were never coming back. You would never be able to come running and leap into his arms again, never be able to fall into that familiar rhythm that belonged to you two alone.

“‘Ey, sunshine. It’s me again. Happy birthday, my love.” He still called you that, even months after your passing. It wasn’t like he didn’t notice the pitying glances and sad little sighs at the nickname. Oh, he noticed them alright. That just made him stubbornly insist on calling you that even more.

He sat down on the ground, tucking his legs underneath him to get down to the headstone’s level. As if someone hidden behind the invisible veil of life and death could meet his eyes and give him that smile that used to make his heart flare every time without fail. As if said someone could make the hurt go away with a gentle kiss, get him thinking about something else like changing the channel on a radio station.

“I miss you. A lot. I wish you were ‘ere. And I’m sorry I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t protect you. I know you wouldn’t want me to beat myself up about it, but…” Hobie trailed off, trying to swallow the lump in his throat that made his voice sound thick to his own ears. “Anyway. There’s this kid who got recruited into the Spider Society. Remember, I told you about it before… yeah. ‘Er name’s Gwen, ‘er dad - ‘e’s a cop - threa’ened to arrest ‘er so I took ‘er in. Spider-Woman’s viewed as criminal in their universe, so obviously that doesn’t work well for ‘er. She’s a wicked drummer. I wish you two could meet, you’d love ‘er.”

He cut himself off as his voice broke at the end, closing his eyes as he allowed a few tears to well up. “I got you somethin’, by the way.”

He reached into his pocket and brought out a tiny clay tabby cat that he had made himself. He was so proud of it because its eyes reminded him of you, sparkly and crinkled with amusement in some ways but mostly kind. Kind eyes that held enough understanding behind them for anyone to feel safe.

He set it down amongst the flowers in front of your gravestone, nestling it in the comfort of a curtain of petals. “I didn’t tell you this since I wanted it to be a surprise, but… I was gonna get you a kitten for your birthday. We could’ve taken care of it together. Your constant pesterin’ would’ve finally paid off.“

I guess it’s too late now.

Hobie slowly got to his feet, trying to force a smile for you before giving up and just pulling his mask on again, feeling his tears sink into the fabric as it brushed against his eyelids.

“I’ll come visit you again soon, sunshine. I’ll bring my guitar too, maybe play you a song or two. Promise. I love you.” He brushed his fingers against the top of the gravestone, where a thin carpet comprised of tiny flecks of snow had gathered. The knowledge that you’d never be able to echo that sentiment back to him again pierced a hole through his heart for the umpteenth time.

I miss you more than I ever thought was possible.

@hobiebrownismygod @l0starl @therealloopylupin2099

[lucreziagiovane]

omg i read blood and beauty and its sequel last week bc it had been on my reading list for months!!!! and is this a safe space where i can just say that it hit the nail on the head for all of the borgias without unnecessarily vilifying one or the other (i mean basically considering how most writers hold some vendetta against juan) and i loved how u could really see lucrezia's growth from her childhood innocence to being forced to mature and grow up AND obsessed w any media that portrays cesare as ferocious and sharp and ruthless and juan finally got his flowers bc they obv showed his flaws but without making him the big bad evil when instead he also started off a kid but ended up being dragged to the bottom of the river by his father's ambitions 😔

i wish the 2nd book had progressed a little further to lucrezia's childbirth bed death so the story could come full circle and sometimes the pov switching was confusing for me but aside from that, the borgias will always be famous to meeeeeeeee and i love a good book that portrays them well!

ive been on the hunt for more borgia-centric books so if u have any recs......... <3

zaynab omg hello!!!!! i was kinda waiting for someone to talk to me about this book because it's my absolute #1 favorite historical fiction book <3

i'm so happy you enjoyed reading it! the way miss dunant brilliantly humanized the borgia family by creating striking and compelling narratives for them was truly *chef's kiss*. it's safe to say that her portrayal of them has even made her my favorite author as well (and made me want to check out her other work, lol). the way she made them so sympathetic is truly admirable to me, which is also a standout aspect of the book as we manage to develop a deep understanding of their motivations and complexities through her nuanced portrayal, you know? i say it could've been done more when it came to lucrezia, as she is truly one of the most compelling figures in history (and my all-time favorite). i'm not criticizing dunant for lucrezia's portrayal!! but it's more like i wished she added more of lucrezia's lore...but alas! other books did her more justice, i must say!

my favorite theme of the book is the immense love the pope has for his children. the way [spoiler] juan was taken too soon from him is profoundly melancholic and it added emotional depth to the story and it highlighted the power of a father's love and the devastating impact of losing a beloved child. also, YEAH, the book felt like a breath of fresh air when it came to juan borgia! he was unfairly demonized with no reliable narrative and mostly used as a prop to hype up cesare at his expense *yawns*… but dunant made him an individual, likable character in the book, countering the unjust treatment he always receives. her portrayal of him allowed us to discover the vulnerability and sensitivity that lie beneath his outwardly arrogant and handsome demeanor. we really can't help but feel deep empathy and pity for him as we read about his inner struggles and emotional depth. he became a truly compelling and sympathetic figure within the borgia family, especially when his death is met with cruelty and brutality. the tragic nature of his demise evokes an even stronger sense of empathy and sorrow in the narrative of juan losing himself and being overwhelmed by the heavy task he was entrusted with…

and cesare, of course, was portrayed as that sulking, bitter, cruel but incredibly intelligent, cunning, and charming guy! lowkey a recurring theme for him, but the flavor in making him extra dark in the slayest way possible made me insane in a very positive way! you should watch "los borgia (2006)" for a delicious portrayal of cesare (and personally, i think it's the most historically accurate).

more books? i'd recommended emma lucas's 'lucrezia borgia' and maria bellonci's 'life and times of lucrezia borgia' - both are biographies btw! their work is a solid read, very unbiased without any manipulation of the letters about/between the siblings to push certain narratives (hello sarah bradford!!), well-researched, sheds light on the family's complex relationships and their rise to power, and is highly sympathetic to all of them. you won't be disappointed!!

for historical fiction, i'd recommend mario puzo's 'the family' ...you will never be disappointed after all it's by the dude who wrote the godfather!

i hope you enjoy them <333 i'll be waiting for your feedback :)

[hanako-san]

Hiyaaa! How r u? I just wanted to ask, what got you into tbhk and what made Hanako your favorite character in the first place?

Heeeeeeeey. I'm good and you?

I was looking for a new anime to watch because I was a bit bored with the previous fandom and series and I was looking for something new and the cover interested me. Beautiful line and description about the seven mysteries, ghosts, secrets and these are my favorite topics, so I was very interested in this series. and it's also shounen, and I like this genre the most.

I was interested in Hanako in the first episode as soon as he showed his eyes. To be honest, his eyes caught my attention.His moon eyes are beautiful, I thought then and now. But seriously, he became my favorite character and the first thing I love about him was his past Tsuchigomori's library made him my favorite character.

It was then that I realized what a deep, complex and wonderful character he was. I saw him as a tragic boy, full of kindness and love for his brother and others. I already suspected that Tsukasa was hurting him and that he would just forgive him, which makes the most sense, and I still think so. I saw a boy who hated himself for what he had done, I saw a boy pretending he didn't care, but in reality he cares so much. He feels good when everyone hates him and thinks he deserves it, and at the same time he is ready to make the greatest sacrifices for those he loves. I love him for his pain, for his love for Tsukasa, for the fact that when he decides to do something, he will do it. I love his passion for space and the moon, it's so sweet. I saw a boy suffering and carrying a burden that he wanted to bear. I saw a boy who is willing to do anything for the people he loves and is not good at pretending to be "cold and ruthless." he want to hide this side of him - not working. I discovered this and he won't hide it from me, sometimes he is "cruel"/"harsh" because he wants other characters to see him like this and causes these angry reactions from characters.

This episode also helped me understand that Hanako is truly unique when it comes to a shounen male mc because instead of following his dreams, he decided to stop and not go further and destroy his own future that he had.

As Hanako, he made me pay attention to him, Yugi Amane stole my heart and became my favorite character.

I want to make it clear that I don't love Hanako any less than Amane. Amane is Amane and I love his ghost version as much as past self. He's just really fascinating and amazing as Hanako and his real self.

The manga only confirms that I chose well and that I am proud to be Hanako stan.

I doesn't regret anything, even if I doesn't criticize Hanako, but other characters do. He has a lot of lessons in the manga apart from the others anyway. I knew from episode 1 that Hanako is not morally pure - he doesn't have to be. I love him for who he is. I decided to support him and be always to be his side.

Thanks for the asking.

[badedramay]

@roobylavender replied to your post:

thank you for answering! this is super insightful and i really appreciate the point you make about intention and how despite include some repercussions of feudal traditions, addressing that niche of pakistani society as a whole was not actually the central aim of the drama (so in that aspect it’s distinct of dramas like sang-e-marmar, sang-e-mah, malaal-e-yaar, badshah begum, etc.). i definitely think that’s a valid defense to shielding it from some criticism bc like you said the more pertinent intent is to address misplaced judgments, rectification of old mistakes, the harms of parents projecting onto their children, the plights of stubbornness and inflexibility, etc. that definitely holds when, like you said, you approach ruhi’s arc as a whole, bc it’s about much more than a mere reaction to societal practice  and i like the point you bring up in the tags about faarah too! i’m less endeared to wali this go around bc some of his alpha male behavior towards her in the beginning of their relationship seriously turns me off lol but it’s true a lot of faarah’s relationship to the haveli is premised on her dynamic with agha jaan first, and that’s definitely where the show wins a lot of viewers over (including me! they were so sweet and i loved them) in any other show that tried a similar approach of “wait and see that this guy you got married to isn’t Actually so bad even though he’s trying to dictate everything you do” i think i would probably still remain super turned off bc there’s not often a character like agha jaan present to balance out that transition into accepting that maybe your judgments of your spouse and their family are not entirely solid. so aH he was here lol! such a crucial character to tie everything together truly 

(making this reply a new post rather than continuing in comments cuz I need my space with me especially when talking about Wali akjsdhakwjeahw)

Yes! exactly! I was thinking of dramas like Sang-e-Marmar and Mere Humnasheen as examples when I was making that point. In those dramas, the background of the characters is the plot. because when you remove the background the entire story falls flat on its place. the characters and their actions in those dramas they are not justified but also plausible because of the characters’ backgrounds. the same doesn’t fully apply to the characters of DeD. Aga Jaan’s family could’ve been from any non-specific feudal background and the story would still take place. the reasoning might have to be altered to fit that but on the whole, the plot progression could’ve happened in the same way as it originally did.

As for Wali...oh boyyyy yahan pe aata hai conflict. because Wali remains my most criticized AND most beloved Pakdrama hero. my history on PakDrama fandom world is witness to how much I have dragged this man for his actions (even as recently as just a few days ago!) however, regardless of how much some of his actions continue to irk me..on the whole Wali’s character journey is so fascinating and intriguing for me that I can never see him as a “red flag bad guy”. there are layers to him!! I do sometimes wonder how Wali would be perceived in today’s landscape. like i am SURE he’d be criticized a lot more than he was back in 2015. some of his actions wrt Faraa are so ruthless that I can vividly imagine some people on stantwt making it their mission to start “Cancel Wali Suhaib Khan!!!” parades.

But like I said, the beauty of DeD is how a character comes across when you take the context of their situation when they were performing a certain action. Wali’s abusive kidnapping of Faraa and the initial manhandling he did with her within the first few days of her return to the haveli..these are things added in the drama for well drama’s sake. Wali of the novel was always the picture of perfect gentleman. Wali of the drama was prideful. for six years he had witnessed his own pride be spat on by Faraa’s cold demeanor. Wali forgave the insult to his pride, where he fully lost his senses was when he witnessed his Aga Jaan, his most beloved grandfather, be reduced to a man just breathing not living because of all the hurt Faraa’s attitude had caused him for years...that was unforgivable for Wali. in a very pathetic attempt to be his defense..Wali was pushed to show his most brutal self to Faraa and confirm her worst fears about him that she had nursed for years all because there was no other way Faraa would just LISTEN to him. Wali had never tried to impose the power their nikaah gave him over Faraa except just this once. and he did that not for his own self but for his grandfather’s.

Wali is not a perfect character; good heroes seldom are (hence why drama!Wali is more beloved to me than novel!Wali) The show had already established Wali as someone who had the habit of exercising his dominance where he could. We saw it in how he would scold Zarminay when she tried to be nosy in his affairs or him reprimanding her for planning picnics. but at the end of the day that strictness was not what defined him. we saw how Zarminay confided in her brother and leaned on to him in the time of intense grief. because he was raised by Aga Jaan, he didn’t learn to put walls around his heart and was taught to have more love and respect in all the relationships he shared with anyone. THAT BEING SAID..Wali was ALSO a young man with all the hotheadedness youth brings with itself. it was his initial youthful blunder of putting himself across as a lazy, entitled brat to Faraa which made it easier for her to cement her bad opinion of him. it were his own insecurities that made him unable to empathize with Faraa when she found peace in Moiz’s company. yeah sure Wali’s guess about Moiz being a leech ended up being true but we cannot deny that Faraa’s proximity with Moiz wounded Wali’s pride as a man to the point where he started to question that maybe him assuming duties far beyond the capability of his age had rendered him into an undesirable man. Wali was also well..petty.

Despite all that..I cannot see Wali as someone who, after his rage died down, was incapable of asking for forgiveness for his actions. YEAH I KNOW THE SHOW DIDN’T GIVE ME THAT SCENE AND I WILL FOREVER HOLD A GRUDGE AGAINST IT FOR DENYING ME THE SCENE OF WALI ON HIS KNEES BEGGING FOR FARAA’S FORGIVENESS FOR TREATING HER SO HORRIBLY but i also know that how Wali’s character was shaped up..there did come a point when he did apologize for it all. HECK! I can imagine Aga Jaan severely reprimanding Wali if he so got a whiff of HOW ACTUALLY Wali managed to bring Faraa back to haveli and refusing to talk to Wali until he SEES Wali on his knees holding his ears and awaiting Faraa’s forgiveness. which she’d give him of course. not only because she loved him but because she is at that point in her life where she wants all the past mistakes kept aside to start afresh.

Wali works because Aga Jaan works. if Aga Jaan who started as the villain of the story can have a character arc that makes him THE BEATING HEART AND SOUL of the entire story, Wali also cannot stray too far away from the circle of redemption purely because of his connection to Aga Jaan. it’s because of Aga Jaan Wali is mercifully not given the “he’s good because we say he’s good so whatever you saw and how you interpret him is wrong” treatment that so many of the current Pakistani dramas subject their protagonists to (coughmeerabcough). because we SEE Wali’s connection with Aga Jaan and we SEE how Aga Jaan’s sheer love won over Faraa and gave her the peace and acceptance that she was craving for for years..we can SEE why Faraa, by this connection, falls for Wali. not just because he’s her husband and she has no choice but to love him. i see it in a more poetic manner...’the beloved’s beloved becomes my beloved’.

[nowis-scales]

🔥for Fates? (Hard mode: nothing involving all the bad faith criticism)

🔥 The Xander and Camilla relationship is probably the most interesting relationship between any of the Nohrian royal siblings, but because it interferes with the notion that the Nohrian royal family is always super close-knit and found family-vibed, it goes underexplored.

I mean, in fairness, I get it — lots of FE fans all have their different family situations. There isn’t anything wrong with indulging in the fluffy, soft parts of a family dynamic, particularly if you don’t have a family that does what a family is supposed to do. However, I do think that when you’re looking at the family members as characters, it’s good to acknowledge all parts of their dynamics, because that’s what makes them versatile and fun and honestly, more human. Xander and Camilla’s relationship has a lot of intrigue beyond being just the stand-in parents, and I think that can get overlooked sometimes. Even if their pasts are acknowledged, their connections to each other beyond those roles goes unthought of.

In my opinion, it’s honestly really crucial to their relationship that Camilla thinks Xander isn’t that invested. Not because he actually doesn’t care, but because it speaks to Camilla’s perception of the entire family dynamic, as well as their childhood. I mean, think about it: all of these kids were set against each other in the Concubine Wars. Camilla is implied to have been one of the more brutal ones, because her mother was a fucking bitch especially concerned with being queen, and she would only dole out affection to Camilla if she were to kill her way to the top. We know that Camilla is not a truly vicious, nasty person — but what would Xander be to her, at that time? He’s the firstborn child, the one who holds the position that all of the other children want. He would be a point of envy for his effortlessness at being the “ideal”, but at the same time, he would have to be ruthless enough on his own as well to survive having a target on his back. Did that never build any sort of resentment in Camilla or the other children like her, who couldn’t get a sliver of love from their mothers? Is that what influences their relationship to this day? Xander is distant, yes, but how far does this measure of not caring go? In the core story, we see much of Xander proving himself to be caring. So what about her relationship to Xander speaks of this?

It’s also worth considering that one thing that gets erased from the English version a lot is that Xander and Camilla aren’t just loving older siblings with vaguely more-adult-than-you roles — they’re parentified. The concubines were awful mothers, Katerina died young, Arete died young and distant from them, and Garon’s been forcibly overtaken by a dragon god. This last little remaining sliver of siblings has no one else, and with how young and/or naïve Corrin, Elise, and Leo all come out to be, it’s natural that they would want to pick up on what they didn’t have in hopes that their siblings would come out better for it on the other side. But again, that influences Xander and Camilla’s relationship because they’re not just brother and sister, they’re actively parenting the other kids together. It’s extraordinarily unfair, and while Camilla is doing it out of a desire for no one to feel alone as she did, she might not understand that Xander, too, is hiding a lot of himself and understands the depths of her and everyone else’s pain. She thinks he’s being distant for the kingdom, something she doesn’t care about because she doesn’t want to rule, because that’s the greatest middle finger she can give to her mother — to not care. She might even think of him as being somewhat like Garon, loving them but not really knowing them, and being okay with that despite how damaging it is. There is no doubt in my mind that Xander and Camilla love each other, but I think what’s interesting is that this support shows they may not get each other entirely yet. There’s a lot from their respective childhoods that could still be kicking around, even with that love, and I feel like it could be so interesting to dismantle.

Is it all rosy and joyful like these poor people deserve? No, but it’s worthy of confronting for their power as characters and for the sake of their healing.

[thelioncourts]

You’re definitely right they can remove some of the useless love interests but even if you do the stories are still about Lestat. Louis would just be there to offer support or whatever but he has no arc or character development in these books after TVL. That’s why it’s impossible to keep him a main character with these book storylines cause even if he’s there in every scene he wouldn’t be doing anything.

So I totally get why people would rather he just leave the show than be used as set dressing for lestat.

But I don't think they're going to just do book storylines??? Like??? They've not done book storylines as they're written thus far, so why would that be subject to change???

I'm sorry, I'm not meaning to come across as short or anything, but I have 11 asks in my inbox all about this right now and I don't have answers and don't really know why people are coming to me.

As I've said in previous asks, I have said most of what I can and have to say on the matter.

As a Louis-fan, I get where everyone is coming from, I truly truly truly do. Knowing his fate in the books, regarding material, is enough to have us all on edge, so please don't take this as something it's not, I just --

The show has already given Louis so much more than what Anne ever did. Not even talking about what the change of time period and race adds to him as a character, we have a fully fleshed out development of him as an individual, as well as him and Lestat as a couple and as parents to Claudia.

Show!Louis has this family that we learn so much about, at least in comparison to the book. In the book, we know Paul, and we know Paul because he's the catalyst for Louis. It's similar here, only we get Grace and we get Florence and we get Paul and we get Louis' relationship with each other these characters. We know that Paul and Louis were extremely close. Paul could come preaching at Louis' establishments in Storyville, causing scenes and making trouble for Louis, and Louis could threaten him and pull a knife on him and the next day they could be sitting at the breakfast table, bitching to each other like any set of siblings when telling on the other to mom. We know that Florence has insane expectations riding on Louis' shoulders and that the death of Paul was a catalyst for her too, no doubt since it's very obvious the entire family knew of Louis' queerness before Lestat even came around, but it was a thing they didn't talk about, and then he goes and moves in with Lestat anyway. We know that he and Grace are close, that he was the first person to know of her pregnancy (via vampirism), that they drifted immensely in his fear of himself as a vampire. We know that the loss of that family for Louis was the reason for so much of his pain, for so much of his struggles with vampirism as a whole.

We know that Louis is a businessman, and a good one too, and he likes it. Sure, he didn't like all the racist shitbags he had to deal with, but he was better than all of them and they knew it and he liked that. He was ruthless in his business, strong and fierce and proud, and the loss of the Azalea, the race-war waged against the black population of New Orleans, was yet another source of devastation.

We know, as a parent, Louis is smothering sometimes, motherhenning Claudia to the point that she had to learn how to shut him out of her head. We know, as a parent, Louis is softer, to the point of fault at times, but that he also gives in to her whims, drinking human blood again when she points out that his criticism of hers and Lestat's eating habits make her feel poorly. We know, as a parent, he watched her go out to hunt on her own proudly, like a parent watching their kid go drive to a friend's house for the first time.

We know, as a lover, Louis is spoiled by his husband. "How can I say no to you?" followed by Louis' most pleased, beautiful smile. We know, as a lover, Louis can look at his husband like he hung the damn moon that guides their nightly hunts. We know, as a lover, Louis can be argumentative, assured that he is right and not afraid to tell Lestat so. We know, as a lover, Louis will smile brilliantly at his husband as they sneak around in coffin together, acting like damn teenagers in love. We know, as a lover, Louis, for all his issues with Lestat, loves him tremendously so, to the point that their hearts sync up and that, when Lestat is lying there, "dead," Louis cradles his body to his chest and screams his agony.

None of this is in the books.

It's all made by the writers of the show. And, as of now, the writers have yet to disappoint me with their writing of Louis. So until that moment comes, I'm going to be optimistic because 1) they've yet to prove me wrong and 2) if I'm not optimistic, what am I really sticking around for then? I don't want to stick around and be miserable at the thought of something all the time.

[beebooks]

haven't had much to say about rubyfruit jungle so far, not because i haven't had any thoughts, but because i don't know how to put them down in any way that would make sense

i understand why it gained notoriety and why so many lesbians have loved it. the main character is completely unashamed, the book is unashamed about it's unashamed main character. life isn't great but she takes no shit, she accepts her losses and moves on. she's angry but that doesn't stop her. she fucks girls and boys and she hides it only because she knows she has to, and when it comes out she owns it completely. she is herself and refuses all labels and boxes anyone tries to shove her in

it took me a bit to get into still, which, to be fair, is true for most books i read. rarely do i truly like a book from the very beginning. but with this book it's a lot to do with the fact that those kinds of, i guess, "raw" honest depictions of life, as much as they may be true to many people's experiences, i just don't really like. sue me, i don't care for kids running around demanding a cent to see some kid's dick. kids will be kids, but i was never that kinda kid and i'd rather spend my time reading about other things

it picked up as she entered high school and made friends and then lost them and went to college. her drive has more punch behind it, probably because she's more grown up. the friends and lovers she makes are more interesting (sorry to leroy, you are a victim of society, but you were not the most compelling character), her ability to pick herself up after setbacks and preserve her pride more engaging

no doubt though, it is a very flawed book. i've seen some criticism of the main character being constantly portrayed as so much smarter, so much cleverer, so much more quick witted than the slow, dumb people around her. she can outplay and show up anyone. other than her dad, who encourages her to pursue the life she wants, she never learns anything from another person. she's always right, always smart, always ruthless and ambitious

there's also how characters talk about lesbians. lesbians are all ugly and wanna look like men, but our dear molly isn't like that. while she never accepts any label like dyke or queer or lesbian for her own, she doesn't shy away from the fact that she will be called does things. still, i don't like the book having this constant through line of how people view lesbians(read butches) but then just brushes it aside with, well, molly isn't like that. while i'm only around halfway through so i can't judge it fully by now, i don't expect that view of butches to be challenged. based on the criticism i rather expect it to be reinforced

still don't think i'm summarizing my thoughts properly here, but tldr: book not my thing to begin with but getting better

[thepalmofyourfreezinghand]

I just went out of swiftie twitter and I didn't realise how truly fucked up Taylor's image is on the ground. For background I am a finance girlie and there was an overlap of interests. I couldn't believe that grown ass people think her family has been 1% for generations,she is what she is because of her insanely rich father,she will write a song about it,has a good team while other celebrities/sports stars don't or that hot shot vps didn't fall like flies in the crypto ponzi scam,she keeps on dating guys and dumping them so she could make garbage music for teenage girls,she can't be both a creative force and business person,she is financially shrewd who can predict the next big thing and can sell it etc. What's worse is this discourse was talked about in my meeting today. Middle aged men and women actually think this about her and at one point I stopped correcting them because it would out me as a swiftie at work. Well now some also think she is 40 now. Do you think she could have handled her public image better because normal people still have this image about her because every artist writes about their and Taylor just got out of a 7 year relationship before that a 1.5 years. She has not been single for 10 years almost and last five albums have not been about exes strictly or even singles.

I’m sorry you had to listen to that! Also I love the term “finance girlie”, I’m not in finance but it makes me wanna be one! Haha.

To your point… could she have done some things better? Maybe. But the public is always gonna be ruthless to young girls, and I think she handled it very well. If she hadn’t “dated around”, they would’ve found another reason to hate on her, just like they keep finding reasons to hate on young singers and actresses.

I know people criticized her for that Ginny & Georgia tweet (and the fans who subsequently harassed the young POC actress were 100% in the wrong, obviously), but imagine this: you get ridiculed for your love life CONSTANTLY from 2010 to 2016 (and the jokes and the headlines were absolutely merciless), then finally you are in a long term relationship and you’re at the peak of your career and you’ve just become the first woman ever to win AOTY three times and you’re breaking records left and right and receiving accolades from everyone… and yet one of the most successful shows on Netflix is still making a misogynistic (and out of date) joke about you.

If I were her I’d be exhausted, and sometimes you can keep your mouth shut for years (which is what she did), but at some point you just break.

So yeah, maybe she could’ve handled some things better. But she was ridiculed and criticized and laughed at and mocked and underestimated and put on a pedestal just to kick her down time and time again for years… some people might still have a wrong notion of who she is, but all in all I think she handled her rise to fame quite well, given that she could’ve given up in dozens of different occasions because of how hard they were trying to drive her out.