#my period sneaking up and being a total dickwad

[ceruleanmage]

currently experiencing the worst pain i have ever felt in my nearly nineteen years of life

[wiggly-blue-shite]

Chapter 6 The Bell Doesn’t Dismiss You (Tedgens)

I get out of history and head to my next class. History is always boring. I know no one in that class. Well, I know people in that class but I don't like anyone in it. I also fucking hate studying history. Like I don't give a shit about how Napolean died.

While I walk to my next class, I have the sneaking suspicion I'm being watched. Y'know that feeling when you can feel eyes on the back of your head? Yeah, that.

I turn around to see if I can spot the person staring at me. There. Oh, it's just Henry. I smile and wave at him. He probably feels a little awkward for being caught staring. Acknowledging him might make him feel a little bit better. Henry turns bright red. Aw, that's a little cute. He waves back.

We pass each other without actually saying anything to each other. I want to say hi, or like tell him how good he looks in that outfit today. He doesn't usually dress like that so he should know it's a good choice. It like outlines him. You never really think about how in shape dancers are. I can feel his eyes on me and for some reason I get nervous. Knowing that I was him staring at me, made my hands a little sweaty.

That's weird.

I step into Art and go take my spot next to Paul. We're only taking Art this year because it sounded like fun and we didn't what else we would do. It's just some painting and it doesn't even need to be that good and you can still get a good grade. Easy A. It's a really fun class.

"Hey, what's up." I pat Paul's back. He laughs a little. He's already working on our next project. We have to do an abstract painting that shows our true emotions, or something. It's a nice sketch. Paul's actually not that a bad painter, don't tell him I said that though. Comments like that would go straight to his head.

"Not much man, not much." He continues to work on his sketch. It's pretty swirly and cool looking. "You?"

"eh," I shrug and take a seat in front of my easel. Now time to do some art! Yeah. Easier said than done. I really don't know what to do. I have the feeling of being watched again. I look around again to try to see if anyone is looking at me. No one is.

His lips were so red. His skin is so clear. His hair was great. And wow, why am I thinking about him. Need to think about something else. PAINTING!

The teacher is walking around. She walks up to me and Paul. She's always really supportive of everyone's are and she's understanding when you don't know what to do. I wish all my teachers were like that.

"That's a great start, Paul." I can tell she redirected her attention to my blank canvas, "having some trouble Ted?"

"Yeah, I guess." I'm not the most in tune with my true emotions.

"Well, how are you feeling? I know that's a loaded question."

I honestly have no clue. I guess I still have that feeling of being watched. But I don't really know how to paint that. Abstract paintings are so weeeird.

"How do you paint the feeling of being watched?" She's the art teacher here, she should know what she's doing.

"You mean paranoia?"

Well, paranoia is supposed to be negative though right. This feeling isn't really that negative.

"Not really, I don't know how to explain it."

"Explain it through your art." She's a cool teacher, but every once in a while she'll say something like that. Yup, this really is an art class.

I'll just draw some squiggles and make it into something later.

LUNCH TIME! The best part of the day. I just get to chill out and not deal with bullshit assignments and bullshit people!

Paul and I meet up with Bill and Charlotte at our usual lunch spot. The English building tree! It's this lumpy old tree that doesn't give off much shade but it's cool looking.

"Here you go!" Bill makes me lunch everyday. I don't really have any food at home, and the lunches they serve here are inedible. And Bill wants me to eat so he brings me some food.

"I'm ok without lunch." He's a little too kind sometimes.

"No fuck that you need to eat." Bill shoves the food into my hands. I actually really like the food he brings me. But he doesn't need to know that.

I dramatically spread out my jacket to sit on.

"One of these days I'm going to bring a picnic blanket." Paul sits down and opens the little lunch he has. "So in Art right now we're doing this really abstract thing and I really want to work in a dick in there somewhere."

"Mrs. Hawthorn wouldn't notice." Or she wouldn't care. She's a real hippie. Pretty sure she's come to school high a couple of times. I mean they call it HIGH school for a reason! Public school really is a tragedy.

"That's true." Charlotte has Mrs. Hawthorn fifth period I think.

Paul's staring at something, a smile creeps on his face. I follow his gaze and... yup! Emma and Henry. Why are they here? I'm not complaining, they make good company.

"Hi Emma!" Paul's like a little lap dog. You can almost see his tail wagging.

Emma sits herself down next to Paul. Paul shifts a little so his arm is behind Emma, almost around her.

Henry on the other hand kind of looks around nervously. That outfit might make him look a little intimidating, but he's still a dork. In a good way!

Bill pats the ground in between me and him, signaling for Henry to sit down. Henry sits down on the ground. No wait, those pants are going to get dirty. That sucks.

Bill pats the ground in between him and Ted, signaling me to sit there. So I plop down there. I didn't bring a jacket so I have nothing to sit on, but that's fun.

"Damn if I knew you were gonna be here I would have brought an extra jacket." I really would've, to save those pants. Paul really should bring a picnic blanket.

"No it's fine." No it's not! Nice clothes should be taken care of.

"I love your makeup." Charlotte does enjoy doing crazy makeup. Sam always says some bullshit about her looking a whore. So when Charlotte's not with him she get's to express herself more.

"Thanks!" Henry's eyes light up. He's pretty cute. His punk clothes can't fool me.

"I could never rock an outfit like that." I wish I could. I don't have the body for it. Henry on the other hand...

I can appreciate someone's looks without...

Whatever.

"Sure you could!" Henry smiles and laughs a little. He knows I wouldn't he's just being nice.

"Wow I can't even imagine Ted in full makeup." Bill laughs. That sounds so bad. I'm too messy everything would be smudged so quickly.

"I'm sure Henry would love to do your makeup." Emma suggests. Oh god that will be a mess. But hey it'd be a good story.

"Sure I'm down." I shrug. It would be fun.

"Yeah ok." Henry's blushing. I made him blush. That's...

"Yay!" Emma claps. I don't remember her being this upbeat. I thought she was more cynical. I don't know her that well I guess.

"Hey any word on the school play?" Paul doesn't give a shit. He just wants to make conversation.

"Nope. I think we're just going to be left in the dark until the week of the audition." Wow he really does care. "It's not going to be a Shakespeare show, because we did Shakespeare in the fall."

"Does that mean it's going to be a musical" Paul looks like he's trying to hide his disgust. I have no clue where his hate for musicals comes from, but it's kind of funny.

"Probably." Henry shrugs.

Paul groans. It really is funny how much he hates them. Like really, we have to force him to see Disney movies. It's a Disney movie like they're all good.

"Well I'm excited for it." Bill smiles. Bill and I have been going to school plays for a while. When I had a crush on Zoey, before she got with Sam, we started going because I thought she would notice me in the audience I guess. We still go because they're pretty good productions. They're all pretty good actors.

"Thanks!" Henry smiles awkwardly. He seems confident, I never would have imagined him being this awkward.

"Those shows always look like so much fun." I know I really enjoy seeing them. Even the sadder shows they've done seem fun. Henry and Norah always seem to light up when they're talking about it.

"You should audition." I hadn't even thought of that. "I mean you don't have to, we don't even know what the show is yet. But it is really a fun experience regardless of show. Though it is baseball season, and I know you're on the baseball team. Splitting time between the show and sports might be stressful."

Oh yeah, baseball season is starting. I get to be stuck in in practice with Sam and Coach Dickwad. I've already gotten all my PE credits. I don't need to take a sport to get out of PE anymore.

"Oh shit I totally forgot about baseball." There is no reason for me to stay in it, "if I'm being honest I might quit baseball. The coach is a dick, he-who-shall-not-be-named is on the team now, and I don't even enjoy it that much." I don't know why there's a silence. It's really not a big deal.

"Well there's alway seats open in theatre club." Henry smiles weakly. He's kind of like Paul, he can barely stand awkward social situations.

Imagine that. Ted Richards front and center stage in front of all the school. Fucking performing a monologue or something.

"I do not belong on stage." I'm 100% not a performer, "Charlotte knows what I'm talking about, my singing voice is awful." Charlotte giggles. That karaoke session was a hot mess but I do not regret a second of it.

"You don't have to sing. There's other aspects of theatre, y'know."

Well of course I know it's not just singing, but my singing alone should be enough to drive me away from the stage.

"You could be a techie!" Emma gasps. Based on Henry's expression I'm guessing that's a good fit for me.

A techie? Is that like a... robot thing?

"I don't even know what that is." Ted chuckle. I'll go along with what he says. He's the professional kind of. The

"You basically work backstage." Ah Ted backstage so no one can see my hideous face. "The show hasn't even been announced yet so there's not really any desperate need for techies. But I- We'd be so happy to have you!"

Did he say "I"? As in like "I'd be happy to have you,"? Am I looking to into this? I mean he's the one who said it. But why did he say it? Why do I care, it's not like it effects me.

"I mean if I end up quitting, I'll have nothing better to do." I shrug. I will definitely be quitting. And this looks like fun! And I want to do something I might actually enjoy.

And the bell rings. Paul and Emma take their leave, hand in hand, without a goodbye. They're a cute couple but like Jesus Christ. Bill and Charlotte are at least cool enough to wave goodbye.

I brush the grass of the jacket I was sitting on. I can see some of the dirt on Henry's ass. I should have brought a picnic blanket, I will tomorrow.

"Hey, if you'd like I can talk to Mrs. Murray about it."

Oh sweet this is like actually happening. I'm gonna get to see the inner working of a play! Not that it could be that complicated. I shouldn't start until I know I'm definitely out of baseball though.

"Well I need to quit baseball first." I pat Henry's shoulder, he tenses up. Huh... sturdy. "I'm looking forward to the makeover, see you later." I hope we actually do that. It'd be fun.

"Bye!" Henry calls out after me. My stomach flips. That's so weird.

I turn around to catch one last glimpse of him. He's off the theatre room probably. What am I doing, Looking at another guy like that.  I can't help it though.

That's so weird.