#my self-worth just pivots and i just feel terrible and start apologizing for even existing
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AT THIS POINT I NEED TO MAKE A PRIVATE TWITTER TO VENT OR SOMETHING??? because i don't think journaling can fix this, gang
#i feel so so so awful like god#upsetting my girlfriend is like easily the worst thing for me because with the way my brain is wired#my self-worth just pivots and i just feel terrible and start apologizing for even existing#it's not a fun feeling especially when i know people aren't exactly equipped to deal with that#i will stand firm in my expressions of affection and hope that they send a clear sign#but when i don't get much of a response; well .....#i don't blame her for it#i truly don't but ah god#i just feel bad like bad bad bad completely terrible#i also feel bad for dropping this on main but i needed to dump these feelings somewhere so tumblr tags it is#i just hope things can at least get settled a little without much struggle#usually they do but sometimes#i don't regret a thing and i never will#but well ; even thick skin has its cracks and all of that#i truly don't want to let myself break down bc i don't like to lose grasp of my emotions#now that i aired this all out i just feel more sad than anxious#i hope this works itself out
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