#my spouse pointed out that shandy might return

[writingway-in-writinghell]

I just want to say, I appreciate your highlighting of the way people of colour expressing discomfort with how Nate and Shandy have been handled is often being ignored by this fandom. It may not be intentional, but all these written interactions are so charged, and excluding Nate, one of the most important characters in the show, from half the episodes of the season while at the same time bringing the character that made his life so unpleasant to the forefront, has so not been sitting well with me. Having him have to “earn” the right to be treated like a person is gross. And Shandy…the offloading of all the problems associated with her hiring onto her, rather than acknowledging Keeley’s failures; the treatment of her as a joke; the way Keeley makes more of an active effort to connect with Jack than she has all season with the “underlings”…it feels like an intersection of racism and classism, and I am just not feeling it at all. Anyway, sorry for the ramble, I just wanted to say, I appreciate you emphasizing the need to believe us when we call out things about this story.

Thank you for your message, anon, and the added nuance to this topic. It’s something I can’t word quite as well, surely due to my own bias as a white European, and the credit for bringing it to my attention lies solely with good folks like you who point this stuff out. <3

See, I didn’t even think of Jamie’s and Colin’s arcs in relation to Nate’s here. I think Jamie’s is a very important story to tell, to show audiences how toxic men were once boys suffering under violent fathers, and how hard it is to break that cycle; and I also love the young queer/queer elder friendship we’re getting. But I also have to… kinda ignore at what cost we’re getting both if I want to take this direction in as it is.

It is jarring to think back on the Richmond team walking out of that tunnel and glaring at Nate like that. There is no compassion. No reflection on what they did to HIM. Only the expectation that he should be thankful that they… stopped bullying him??? That’s fucked up.

And look, I am STILL holding out hope that they’ll somehow address this, that they’ll give Nate the chance to heal from the *Richmond* trauma. He lashed out against Ted in an attempt to get back at Richmond as a whole, I think, and no wonder! How many years has he suffered the abuse coming from Jamie and Colin before Ted came along? How long have the others just watched? Is this a result of Rupert’s management, the toxic coach they had before? Why not address that?!

I think the focus is just way off this season. I wanted to see how Nate deals with the aftermath, and the first few episodes delved right in, even adding Shandy as a mirror to Nate’s arc!

Only to drop it in favor for a narrative that serves us white queer folks, on of which was Nate’s bully. And like. God. I am so conflicted because the AIDS epidemic wasn’t even that long ago! Gay men are still very much struggling. Queer people are still ostracized. There’s a genocide on trans people on its way. I’m queer myself and love what they did in the last episode.

But shouldn’t there be room for ALL of us? Especially, you know, people of color who are also very much still dying at the hands of other white people? What stopped them from doing Keeley/Shandy, for example? Why must it be her white skinny rich boss? (I mean. We know why, right.) There’s so much room for more, and in light of the things they DO get down SO WELL, it’s especially frustrating because the writers seem like they should be aware of these societal issues.

Well. You see me rambling as well now, anon. Goes to show how hard it is to discuss this all in a nuanced manner, especially since I’m lacking so much context myself.

But yeah, this is why we can’t just pick people of color for the roles we write and then change nothing about their arcs. Intersectionality and CRT needs to be mandatory at writing schools if you ask me.

[imagine-loki]

Irked

Title: Irked

Author lokilover9

Chapter 13

Original Imagine: Imagine due to having highly effective telekinesis, Tony Stark seeks you out and hires you. Loki’s been forced to live there by Odin and help on missions when needed, making penance to Midgardians. Prior to moving into the Tower, you learn of his superior and arrogant attitude and upon being introduced, immediately dislike him. Particularly because he looks at you like your his next meal. Rating: Teen

Spending the afternoon inventing traits for their characters was entertaining to say the least. Especially the ones Loki teasingly wrote about Shandis. As it turned out however, that wasn’t the only important topic they needed to discuss.

“Adding some of your own personal traits, could make things easier to remember.” He teased. “Let’s see. Cheeky, unruly, obstinate, short tempered…”

She was eating pistachios and tossed one at him, not noticing it landed in his crotch. Loki considered asking her to retrieve it, but declined, thinking he may end up with the television over his head.

“Oh really?” She retorted. “How about some of yours? Mysterious, sarcastic, oozes brattiness from every pore.”

He waited a minute. “That’s the worst you could come up with? Perhaps I’m growing on you then.”

Shandi quickly changed the subject. “You need a Midgardian age. I suggest 32.”

“Accepted. I could see how close to a millennium might appear suspicious.”

“Oh, before I forget, I’ve researched reasons for hair loss and found one you should remember.”

“Whatever for?” He asked.

“It’s hard getting my wig to look just right and I’m thinking it may become noticeable. Should anyone ask…”

“You don’t have to wear it. I could obliterate the entire application process with magic.”

“No thank you, it’s fine.” She politely replied. “As I was saying…”

“Shandi, I keep asking you to trust me. Do you not at all?”

She went quiet for a moment and leaned back into the couch. “Okay, I’m going to be completely honest with you.”

Realizing she was serious, Loki put aside his pen and paper. “Please do.”

“It bothered me earlier that you expected me to portray Elizabeth a certain way without warning, or a better explanation as to why. It put me on the spot and I only complied because Alice could’ve left at any moment.”

“My apologize Shandi, I hadn’t intended to. A theory came to mind and based on what we know of Alice’s personality, I thought to test it.”

She locked eyes with him then. “Which you did at my expense Loki. There’s bound to be moments of unpredictability during this mission, that will require sporadic actions from my character. If I don’t know all her issues or why they exist, who knows how I could jeopardize things. Understand that I won’t consent to anything like that again without knowing much more and your actions have left me concerned.”

“Of?” He asked.

“I’m questioning what else you may attempt without my knowledge, beyond things at my expense.”

Here was this woman whose pulse he could increase, merely with his nearness, her eyes now boring into him with an intensity he’d yet to see, her demeanor confident and assured.

“You’re right.” He respectfully replied. “My actions were inappropriate and again, I apologize.”

Shandi wasn’t expecting such reactions at all. He’d constantly projected an air of pompousness and superiority, yet now appeared humbled.

“Remember you recently asked if I’d planned on attempting to jeopardize this mission?”

Her gaze lowered in a nod. “I do.”

“Shandi, look at me please?”

Obeying, her insides softly quivered.

“I meant it.” Loki continued. “And know without a doubt, that at no point, will I jeopardize your safety either.”

For some reason, she’d strongly sensed he wouldn’t, yet was grateful they were openly discussing things. “Thank you.” She replied. “From now on, let’s review everything at the end of each day, so we’re always on the same page?”

“I think that’s an excellent idea.” When her shoulders fell and expression softened, he regretted causing her such worry.

Shandi sipped her wine and refocused. “So, what ‘was’ your theory about Alice?”

Loki explained that the previous night, he’d re read their information about Alice and made some assumptions regarding her personality. Upon meeting her, he learned they were correct. Not only was she friendly, but intelligent, very warm, kind, compassionate and seemingly affectionate with friends, as she’d put her arm around Beth a few times. “Remember during Tony’s meeting, he asked us to invent a valid reason for your aversion to being touched?” “Yes.” She replied. “We must work on that.”

“Actually, I’d thought of one before approaching Alice. It was the reason behind testing my theory.”

Shandi listened and when he finished, her mouth hung ajar. “Loki, that’s very tragic.”

“I know, but it could aid in attaining Alice’s friendship faster, while embedding into her mind, the seriousness of your aversion. Then hopefully as Nat put it, she’ll avoid becoming ‘touchy-feely,’ with you completely, as will anyone close to her.”

Shandi knew the grave importance of no one discovering her fake pregnancy. “I’m not refuting any of this, but still don’t quite understand.”

“Mother of seven, who loves babies. A pillar of and activist for her community whose curious of newcomers. She volunteers in schools, the local community center and nursing home. Initiates her own fundraisers and donates the money to those less fortunate. Her life revolves around caring for people. Introduce that level of kindness to a pregnant newcomer who hasn’t any friends here yet, fears being apart from her spouse too long, appears overly nervous amidst crowds and fiercely protects herself from anyone who even attempts touching her? You could easily play on her sympathies Shandi.”

A heavy sigh escaped her. “Even if I agreed to doing so, that tragedy isn’t something you reveal out of the blue. It would be awkward to, period.”

“I’d handle the telling if you wished. In the meantime, we’d build up to it by piquing her curiosity.”

“What if we don’t see her again until the fair?”

“By shopping constantly for our nursery and spending the towns lunch hours everyday at the park? I’m quite certain we would.”

“How do we pique her curiosity at the park?” She asked.

“With some simple exercises to help alleviate your ‘nervousness.’

She took a few moments to contemplate everything, then asked. “What’s with the fear of being apart from you?”

“Another curiosity peeker, or optional excuse to avoid invalid situations.”

“Should I portray Elizabeth this way, you do realize we’d be stuck to each other like glue most of this mission?”

Damn, did Loki bite his tongue. “Well darling, you did sign up for Cactus sitting. Would it be so bad portraying one with such issues?” His eyes suddenly crossed. “After all, you’ve me to protect you.”

“Oh, pfft. That’s reassuring.”

A chuckle escaped him. “It’s up to you.”

Shandi hadn’t banked on playing a ‘nervous nelly’ beyond the maternity shop incident, but it ‘could’ work. “Okay..I’m in. As long as I get details about those exercises.”

“Of course. Would you still like help with your wig?”

“I’d almost forgotten about that.”

“The process is quick and painless, really.”

“That’s not very reassuring either, Loki.”

He laughed, then explained and she was startled to learn it was that simple. “Magic is a wondrous thing darling.”

Shandi opted to close her eyes and Loki stood, tossed a green mist towards her and quietly left. A subtle tingling sensation then spread over her entire scalp, lasting for only seconds before she darted to the main floor washroom. Stemming from every root, her long, dark waves had been altered to loose red curls, that perfectly matched her wig. “Holy shit, this is amazing!”

Loki was in the kitchen, pouring some whiskey when she found him. “I gather you approve?”

“I’m awed.” She replied. “Not only is my wig a time consuming pain in the ass, but feels like I’m wearing a heating pad on my head. A break from it sometimes would be amazing Loki and if there’s a kindness I could do for you in return, please name it.”

He was dumbfounded. Had she just offered him gratitude for a kindness so simple for him to accomplish? The last person to have done so, was Frigga and he never thought anyone would again. “I expect nothing in return. I offered because I wanted to, Shandi.”

“Nothing?” She asked.

“Nothing.”

“Would you..do it tomorrow then?”

“I’ll do it every day if you wish.”

The sparkle in her eye and how she smiled in that moment, affected him so profoundly, he was determined to be responsible for it more often. Especially when she stepped forward suddenly and planted an unexpected kiss on his cheek. Realizing her actions, she slowly backed away and Loki struggled not to return the kiss, intimately.

“Despite being honest about no expectations, I can’t say that wasn’t appreciated.”

Scarlet faced, Shandi gestured towards the corridor. “Okay, well uhh..character stuff. We should get back to that, so I’ll just be down the hall.” She left, heart thumping in her chest. ‘What were you thinking woman? Do not do that again, it’s dangerous. Damn he smells good.’

Loki poured another shot and adjusted his twitching cock. ‘Not just yet my friend, not just yet.’

When done refining their characters, they contacted Nat and Clint. Not only were they pleased to learn about Alice too, but Nat approved of Loki’s idea.

“The seed was basically planted when we met at Beth’s shop Beautiful and I’d guess she told Alice of the incident.”

“Maybe.” Shandi replied. “I’m not familiar with playing on people’s sympathies though.”

“No worries. Clint will volunteer some lessons, won’t you Baby Cakes?”

Loki cackled at the name.

“Me?” Asked Clint.

Nat continued. “Remember the night we caught him watching porn?”

Shandi chuckled. “Yes.”

“He spent days, playing on mine after that.”

“Oh come on, I apologized!”

“True.” Said Nat. “But you’re addicted and should seek therapy.”

Everyone laughed and as the conversation continued, the four devised plan. Nat and Clint would watch Beth’s shop daily for signs of Alice, while Loki and Shandi hung around town, waiting on word of her presence. This would guarantee seeing her again before the fair. Then Nat thought of another idea involving a second interaction between her and Shandi and once Nat payed the shop a visit, all would be set.

After the call ended, Loki shook his head. “You watched porn with Baby Cakes and Ella without your husband present? Perhaps you’d like to explain this wife?”

“Pfft. Perhaps not husband and Ella and I are innocent.”

“Is that so?” His eyes playfully narrowed. “I fail to believe you two are innocent of much, now talk.”

“I’m afraid what occurs between female besties is highly classified.” She cooly replied. “If I told you, I’d have to kill you.”

Loki’s arms crossed. “I see. Tell me something Lizzy. Did you just confess to adultery?”

Shandi pondered her next words, then smirked. “I’ll leave you with that thought Clifford, I’ve some laundry to do.” Seconds later, she snorted, hearing his reply.

“Queen of unruliness!”

Later, while observing her sleep later, Loki recalled her gratitude and how she’d agreed to everything, despite expressing such concern for his earlier actions. Then he reflected upon his immature behavior since they’d met. All the agitating, teasing and tricks, those were the actions of a boy, not an intelligent God. And what the hell had compelled him to use an attraction spell on her? He’d refrained from such things since mid adolescence, when his heightened sense of smell suddenly developed. Unaware then, it was a Frost Giants trait, he still remained oblivious to its true purpose, but did enjoy one advantage. Amongst the many women he’d desired throughout life, very few hadn’t felt the same. Those who did and attempted denial, were revealed by the scent of their arousal. Nothing some extra charm, prowess and persistence never solved. This had even worked on his first love Iris, who like Shandi, denied her mutual attraction in the beginning. Yet he hadn’t acted as ridiculous towards her, nor had her scent affected him the same. Shaking Iris’s painful memory from his head, he further pondered Shandis scent. More appeasingly potent than any he’d ever detected, it lured him to her, heightened all of his senses and ignited unusual urges to mark and possess her. He’d thought of marking her before, but believing it barbaric, had refrained. Yet now, like some primitive instinct, rising from the pit of his soul, it was steadily getting stronger and his desire becoming feral. “I want you in a way I’ve yet to understand.” He quietly whispered. “You make me think and feel things I never have and…” He hesitated a moment. “It’s driving me fucking crazy! Norns, what am I saying?” She stirred and he waited, then caressed her cheek, smirking at the soft sigh she expelled. “Forgive me for my mischievous ways, but you ‘will’ become mine Shandi. I can’t have it any other way.” With that, a soft kiss to her temple made another dream begin.

~~~~~~

[imagine-loki]

Irked

Title: Irked

Author lokilover9

Chapter 11

Original Imagine: Imagine due to having highly effective telekinesis, Tony Stark seeks you out and hires you. Loki’s been forced to live there by Odin and help on missions when needed, making penance to Midgardians. Prior to moving into the Tower, you learn of his superior and arrogant attitude and upon being introduced, immediately dislike him. Particularly because he looks at you like your his next meal.

Warnings: None

Notes: I apologize to my readers as it’s been a bit since I submitted a chapter of Irked, and for those of you reading Taming the Rage, the same. I’ve struck major writers block due to life becoming all consuming, but will do my best to continue with both. Sooo….At the end of chapter ten, Shandi had no sooner apologized to Loki for thinking he gave her food poisoning, when the brat subtly threatened a spanking. And now the saga continues.

Never, as an adult, had Shandi received, or desired a spanking, yet hearing it insinuated in Loki’s alluring voice, only added to her growing perplexity with him.

“Do you really think you’d get away with spanking me?” She asked.

“Pshh, I only mentioned putting you over my knee. If spankings are your thing however, I’m free upon returning to the house and would happily indulge you.”

“Seriously Loki? How can you be so thoughtful one minute and so damn..agitating the next?”

“It’s in my nature.”

She sighed, heavily. “How forgetful of me. You will not ‘indulge’ me in anything of the sort and I suggest you keep driving. I still need new shoes.”

His lips pursed at her un amused expression. “I’m sorry, was that a threat darling?”

“Shoes Loki!”

The first store they found had what she wanted, but the clerk needed to search the back for her size. She sat while waiting and Loki stood close, legs slightly apart and hands cupped together at his front.

“Must you appear so intimidating?” She whispered.

“Yes I must.”

“Why?”

He leaned down, hovering his cheek next to hers, his voice husky and low. “I’m rather possessive of my spouse. No one touches her, but me.”

Battling a sudden urge to tighten her thighs together, she looked away as he stood again. ‘How did this happen?’ She thought. My first first major mission and I’m knocked up by an alien God whose voice alone crumbles my every moral thought.’

Continuing, Loki eyed her from his peripheral vision. “Something on your mind? Perhaps a skinny dip in the pool later would soothe your rosy complexion, hm?”

‘Oh lord.’

Much to her relief, the clerk reapproached. “Our last size seven ma’am. If you’ll just remove your shoes, I can…”

Loki took the box with a smile. “Thank you, but I’ll assist from here.”

Once her sneakers were off, he squatted, resting her bare foot amidst his palm and decided to wiggle a finger between her toes. The joke was on him however, when Shandis reflexes sprung into action and jerked her foot upwards, kicking him beneath the chin. He froze with an arched brow and she couldn’t refrain from chuckling.

“Oh dear. Did ‘ems forget how ticklish I am there Clifford?”

“Apparently so ‘Lizzy’ and I highly suspect you enjoyed that.”

“Ohhh, you’ve no idea.”

Loki waited until they were back in the car. “You may come to regret your amusement at my expense.”

“Poor darling.” She teased. “Did ‘ems little wifey kick ‘ems too hard in the chinny chin chin and now ‘ems offended?”

“Eh he he he. Would ‘ems little wifey like her spouse to follow up on his previous indulgence offer?”

“Don’t even think about it Clifford.”

Amidst the the towns core, was a large park with landscaped flower beds, benches and several paths, that followed a stream throughout. Loki unexpectedly stopped there and opened his door.

“Nice place for a walk. Wouldn’t you agree?”

Before she’d a chance to protest, he was aiding her out of the car again and smiled when she willingly took his hand.

“Good girl, obeying the rules.”

“Rules?” She sarcastically asked.

“Why, yes. Besides carrying my child, how else are we to convince others you adore me?”

She whispered her response. “This baby isn’t yours if you recall, me being a shameless tart and all, so don’t expect much beyond the basics.”

Loki placed a hand to his heart. “Such cruel and hurtful words you speak darling. Having promised my undying love for this child, no matter who the father. I’m terribly wounded.”

A smirk formed on lips and she followed suit. “You’re a real pain, you know that Clifford? I can’t decide who the bigger Diva is at times, you or Tony.”

“I think it’s safe to say we’d point a finger at each other.”

“I can actually picture you two in a heated conversation about that. Sarcasm so thick you could cut a knife through it, testosterone oozing from the walls.”

“Tony and I have had several heated conversations. Mostly because I find him entertaining to annoy.”

Her brows rose. “Nooo, really? ‘Only’ Tony?”

“Such unfounded accusations you keep voicing. I’m wounded twice now Lizzy.”

“Oh they’re founded alright and there’s not a guilty bone in my body.”

“Is that so? Are you aware that in Asgard, I could have you sent to the dungeons for speaking to me in such a manner?”

“Then lead the way as I’ve no issues saying what’s on my mind.”

His eyes playfully narrowed. “So I’ve learned. It seems to be a common occurrence in women of this realm. Natasha, Pepper and Jane are the same. Especially Kroshka.”

“Kroska?” She asked.

“It basically means ‘sweetums’ in Russian. I’ve used it sarcastically and kindly, yet still receive Cactus or ‘prick’ mostly in return. She’s a unique and skilled set of talents for one with no super powers and quite an intelligent woman.”

“You like Nat?”

“I’ve no longer any qualms with her. Since returning, she’s the only one who’s granted me any real kindness, despite minute.”

A part of Shandi felt bad for Loki, despite understanding the others distrust of him. She knew no matter how much good he continued doing, it would always remain and that had to be tough to accept. Still, she’d never tolerate his crap.

“So females who stand up for and defend themselves, are they a problem for you?”

“Not necessarily. As princes, Thor and I are used to women being subservient and obedient, always aiming to appease. Some Midgardian cultures appear to enforce the same, yet in yours, women present a challenge. I find it intriguing, yet also slightly amusing.”

“Why amusing?” She asked.

The glance he shot her sent a shiver down her spine. “In certain regards, they’d inevitably succumb to defeat. Let’s change the subject, hm?”

She let go of his hand when a large bush of pink peonies caught her attention. Loki followed, noting her admiration for them.

“I gather these are a favorite?”

“Tulips are my first, but they only bloom in spring.“ She inhaled their light scent, then turned to him. "What are gardens like on Asgard?”

He smiled at her almost childlike curiosity. “Not that I’m bias.” He replied. “Yet Midgards are nothing in comparison. Our flowers alone are more vibrant in color, potent in fragrance and tend to be rather ‘exotic’ in appearance.” ‘Much like you.’ He thought.

They walked in silence for a bit when coming across a young teen selling something. He explained that during the summer months, most who worked in the towns core, would take lunch over the next couple of hours, while feeding the many birds amidst the trees. After buying a small bag, they seeked out a shaded bench where she dabbed beads of sweat from her face with a tissue.

"Wow. This heavy humidity is already making me nauseous.”

“I can help if you wish?”

“How?” She asked.

He walked behind the bench, resting his hands on her shoulders, her suspicious glance earning a smirk. “Shandi, I won’t hurt you. Close your eyes and relax?” She couldn’t avoid obeying when his thumbs began rubbing and kneading between her shoulder blades, quickly obliterating all the tension they possessed. The moment she slackened though, the centers of his palms began cooling and her eyes shot open.

“Uhh, what are you doing?” She nervously asked.

“Trust me.” His thumbs re commenced, luring her into a state of calm as a cooling sensation, seeped throughout her neck, face and upper torso. It removed all her sweat and nausea, while ebbing away through her skin. The experience took only minutes to occur and when his hands lifted, she felt refreshed.

Rejoining her, he smiled. “Better?”

“Uhh, yeah. Thanks. How…”

“Just a little magic and you’re very welcome.”

“Not that I don’t appreciate it Loki, but we aren’t supposed to use our powers in public, remember?”

“To others I was merely massaging. No one saw a thing, I assure you.”

Silently, she tossed about the feed, deciding she’d keep this secret as he’d done her a kindness. Should the heat continue this way, maybe he’d do it again. Her thoughts began wandering towards what else those hands might be capable of in combination with his magic, when logic snapped her back to reality. ‘You need to get a better grip on yourself Shandi. Stop forgetting who he is and why you’re here.’

Loki had been casually observing people descending upon the area. “Might I inquire why you joined the Avengers?”

“That was unexpected. Why do you wish to know?” She asked.

“Curiosity.”

“Well, helping those in need gives me a great sense of fulfillment for starters. Secondly, I couldn’t have been more honored at the opportunity to work with such an amazing group of people. Add that to an eagerness for change and I was fairly easy to convince.”

“Were you aware Tony praised you highly and was elated by your decision? He also made it very clear to the others you were ‘not’ to leave the tower unescorted.”

She smiled. “I remember him trying to convince me how unwise that could be.” Playfully, she mocked Tony and his mannerisms. ‘I know you’re a tough cookie with a powerful gift Doll and most people here are great. Still, it’s a big city and you never know where creepy crawlies might be lurking. You’ll need time to get to know the place.’ He continued for almost a half hour before Pepper intervened.”

“Creepy crawlies?” Asked Loki. “I’ve never met another Migardian with odder names for things. I overheard him use the word ‘thingamajiggy’ once and asked of its meaning. ‘Well Cactus, it’s a doohickey.’ What’s a doohickey then Tin Man? ‘It’s a watchyamacallit.’ I realized then, I was being had.”

Shandi laughed. “That’s Tony.”

A few minutes passed when Loki slid an arm around her, gently tracing his fingers up her arm. “Nice display of goosebumps, but focus on the mission will you?”

“Ha ha God of vanity. I’m doing my best.”

“I’m actually serious Shandi, it would appear luck is our ally again today.”

“How so?”

“A few trees to our left, Beth and ‘Alice’ are dining on a bench. Let’s go properly introduce ourselves and engage them in some conversation, shall we?”

“That’s perfect. What should we initially reveal of ourselves without sounding overly friendly though?”

“I’ll begin.” He replied. “Just hold tightly to my arm, appear nervous of your surroundings and follow my lead.”

“Why appear nervous of my surroundings?”

They stood and he raised her hand to his lips, placing a soft kiss to it. “Trust me again darling? I’ll explain later.”

Shandis lashes fluttered as she took his arm. “What was that for?”

“The first step in convincing others, ‘I’ adore ‘you.’

They started back onto the path.

“Are you planning to share what step two is?” She politely asked.

“And ruin the element of surprise? Come now.”