#my thearpist and i talked about it today and she was like yeah no it makes sense why youre feeling like that.

[melto]

i'll stop feeling like everyone is mocking me once i actually spend time with my friends everything will be ok then

[kuroosweakness]

hi! can i um just rant really quick? ever since this school year has started i haven’t been going to my classes because i have bad social anxiety. i know it’s like stupid because we’re doing school online so i should be okay with it more but i don’t know it feels more scarier for me. and when i had school in person, i was quite forced to go to my classes. it wasn’t like online where i had the choice to go to my classes, in irl i couldn’t just close the laptop and forget about it. i did occasionally ask my cousin to pick me up early from school though. but i had countless of meetings with my guidance counselor about it and she even told the teachers about it and the teachers agreed on this rule where if i’m ever feeling anxious i can log out at any time but i’d have to come back eventually but even then it’s hard. because i feel like when i log in the students are going to be annoyed that i came in class all of a sudden after missing months of classes. and i’m so behind too, i’m pretty sure when i go in the classes i’ll understand nothing and what if the teachers call on me or i have to go in an breakout room? it’s just so stressful and i feel so bad because here’s my guidance counselor setting up rules for the teachers and offering me an free thearpist, my parents just patiently waiting for me to finally join my classes, and my online friends encouraging me all the way only to be disappointed when i tell them i didn’t log in again. i just feel so bad and everyday i wake up and tell myself i’m going to go to my classes no matter what but when i see the join zoom button i start shaking and it feels hard to breathe and all of a sudden my laptop is closed and an sudden disgust of joining my classes comes to mind. i just feel so bad and i entirely blame this on myself because i have been given multiple opportunities and yet i miss each one but i just can’t help it. and today i have another meeting with my guidance counselor and i’m so scared to talk to her, she’s probably so done with me. in fact, i’m pretty sure everyone including me has just given up at this point :’)

but yeah that’s it...sorry to be a bother! you don’t even have to reply back to this if you don’t want too. i already feel a bit better finally telling someone :)

hi bubs, of course, rant to me at any time: 

i’m sorry you have to go through that everyday :’ you’re already so strong for trying and acknowledging it. you mentioned that you talk to your guidance counselor? communicating with guidance counselors isn’t an easy task yet you’ve gotten past it :) 

(i’m not really good with words, giving advice, or comforting people, i do apologize in advance :’) but i am good at listening/...reading) 

 even though you’ve given yourself many opportunities, there are still many to come!! you’re not wasting opportunities, they were all used to help you build up to a big difference! 

i hope your teachers let you stay on mute and leave your camera off, that way you won’t feel as pressured. going to meetings while on mute and camera off is a lot less pressuring than having camera on :’) 

about breakout rooms: they’re the worst ahhhhhhh don’t feel pressured to say anything! just listen to them talk and even if they ask you to talk, don’t say anything if you don’t want to. it might be awkward, but believe me, they’ll forget about it 2 minutes later. while breakout rooms (oh how i hate that word) are definitely terrifying to think about, try not to think about them too much. try to see them as a “break” from class. if it helps, get up from your seat and walk to a different setting to distract yourself from class, pull out a book, apply some makeup, get some food, put on another outfit, get a bathroom break, pretend you’re not even in class 

to avoid teachers calling on you, maybe you can tell your guidance counselor about it, i’m sure she’ll understand! maybe then she’ll talk to your teachers about it and tell them not to call on you for questions. that way, you won’t have to worry about the possibility of your name being called out

and no, your guidance counselor, your teachers, your friends aren’t tired of you!! they’re there to help and support you, bubs! <3 though i don’t know you personally, i’m sure you’re doing great! 

if you have multiple classes, try to find one class or two that you feel most comfortable in/least uncomfortable in. try to regularly attend that one class and hopefully as time goes by, you’ll start feeling more comfortable around zoom meetings 

~~~

if it helps a bit, try to pretend that the zoom meeting button is like a button to reach another level. after pressing it, you’ve unlocked something new! 

if you have comfort foods, comfort stuffed animals, comfort blankets, anything that keeps you comfortable, reach for it for support. they’re all there for you 

i don’t know if this will help but instead of you pressing the zoom button, maybe you can get a stuffed animal to press the keypad for you and set the stuffed animal in front of your device ... you two can be a team working together :) 

most importantly: never stop trying!!!! as long as if you’re trying, you’re making progress, you’re doing great, you’re doing better than you can imagine. even if you do lose motivation, that’s okay! you’re not “taking a step back”, you’re simply recollecting yourself before taking another step forward 

~~~ 

if it helps, maybe we have class around the same time and i can attend class “with you” :) we can help each other attend class on time! 

my time zone’s PST and i usually have school in the afternoon. even if our time zone doesn’t work out, you can still message/send me asks while you’re in class or about to join and maybe talking to me can help a bit :’)) ! <3 

~~~

if you log into a zoom class, tell me about it so i can be proud of you!! :)) if you don’t, that’s okay! tell me about it anyways and i’ll still be just as proud to hear from you 

i wish i can give you a big hug right now :’ <33 

(please don’t take my advice too seriously ahhh try whatever helps you! and if there’s a part of something i said that doesn’t make sense or you don’t agree with, ignore it and pretend it wasn’t there :’) these are based on things that i would do that i hope can help a bit <3 ) 

i really hope you’re feeling better now <33 *bear hug* 

you’re. not. a. bother. >:((( !!! never was, never will be. 

assuming u like haikyuu too, who’re ur comfort characters? :)