#my tum still feels urpy

[incognitowetrust]

Soooooo, HOW WAS Y'ALL'S NIGHT?

Because I had my 2nd kidney stone.

Is this just... something I gotta deal with once or twice a year now?? Fffffuuunnnn.

I don't wanna re-summarize shit, so I'm copy pasting from somewhere else to here.

I was going to sleep with the doggo and mom's floof cat (who was being surprisingly cuddly). But then I felt some discomfort, like I needed to pee, so of course I went and tried. The lower leftish side of my back felt a bit sore, and not only did my urge to pee not go away, but the way it felt...

I was like "Oh no..."

I went to bed at midnight. At like 1 shit REALLY WENT DOWN.

I have spent the last couple hours in an AWFUL state. I got nauseous, but then it seemed like my stomach calmed enough for me to take the chance on downing some ibuprofen... only for my stomach to go "lol, just kidding" and make me vomit up a bunch of bile. However, what I CAN say about vomiting as someone who has had many pukes in my life, vomiting almost always provides instant relief. So, when I know that I am in fact going to vomit, I basically just embrace it. That fake-out was a pain. Literally.

My back was honestly in agony, and I was reminded of that one unlucky trip to Iowa city where I couldn't hardly sleep the night before, and then I had to go meet with my psychiatrist while in increasing discomfort. As we were starting to leave the hospital, I kinda wanted to stop and say to mom "wait, I'm NOT okay, this is a hospital, I think I need help," and then I just fucking curled up on the back seat of mom's car and endured an awful agony. Though I was grateful for the anti-pain meds mom gave me, it wasn't ibuprofen, but the same sorta thing. I thought it helped after a while, because at least the back pain went away. But now that I think about it, maybe it was simply because my body had weathered out the problem long enough to start improving. By the time mom was able to get me in to see our general practitioner doc, I was nearly fully recovered. That was the same day, not even many hours after the hard bit.

Right now... still am a little uncomfortable, but thank fuck, my back has chilled the frick out. The pain went away very quickly when it did decide to go away. Mom's orange chonk is giving me some soothing purrs. I'll probably need something in my empty stomach in a bit, though it's kinda tender. Yesterday I got myself a box of Club crackers because I was reminded I liked them, and there's still some left, I'll be glad to make use of them.

Damn. I was terrified I had a really painful UTI, because I got a UTI a few months or whatever after the stone incident, and I consider it worse, because it took so much longer to resolve, and I had like a week of restless nights. In the moment, a kidney stone at its height seems worse, but I prefer it. It sucks, but apparently my body knows what it's doing. And the meds I had to take for the UTI... ugh I can still remember the taste. Didn't matter they were the down-with-water kind. Still managed to make me taste it.

You know... I don't wanna mock the incredibly rough task that is childbirth, but... I guess it's a little encouraging for someone like me whose scared of that, that if one day I have my own baby, I kinda got a tiny pre-test via kidney stone pain that I managed to get through twice now. So uh... sure, I might scream profanities and do the whole "YOU DID THIS TO MEEE" thing at my partner, but I guess I'll survive.

I fucking tattooed myself, I handled 2 stones more or less on my own, I guess though I like keeping to my comfort zones I am actually pretty tough. It's sheer spite towards existence, probably. Hey, I may be depressed and anxious, but also COME AT ME, SCRUBLORD, I'M RIPPED.