#nature doesn't hand a tiger or a monkey a date and time when they'll have a part of themselves removed
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14.25 hours until anaesthesia, not looking forward to it whatsoever. at least still having to do cleaning in preparation is keeping the panic somewhat at bay, but fuck if I'm not anxious as hell
#it's not even the anaesthesia that's the scariest. just the thought of how they're supposed to get to those teeth and get them out#when I can barely reach there with my toothbrush to keep them clean. my jaw is gonna be fucked up after this I just know it#fuck#okay. no use worrying about it. the alternative is calling it off and that's not happening#I know I'll cope with the pain afterwards. I always do. pain is an old friend. and it's not like I eat that much anyway#the before is the issue. the uncertainty and the knowing what's coming#I think it's sth we're not meant to experience as animals. which we still are at our core#nature doesn't hand a tiger or a monkey a date and time when they'll have a part of themselves removed#either it happens slowly or right away or not at all. there's no set date ever#so I doubt our brains are at all equipped to handle that#(or at least that's what I tell myself to make myself feel better)
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