#neither of these people are chickens and neither of them chickened out and izumo is a tremendous bully in this portion of the arc

[everyryuujisuguro]

[jouissezduprintemps]

Poker Face

Rating: T, Swearing Words: 2608 Fandom: Naruto Summary: It’s Kakashi’s turn to host poker night, and Genma wonderes if Kakashi is really as lucky as he seems. Kakashi ANBU era. KakaYama. Slight AsuKure and others.

The playing cards bent outward at the middle, collapsing in on one another between Aoba’s thin fingers with a sound like rainfall. His fingertips drummed the irregular edges, knocking the cards back into an even stack. The deck was pushed across the table to Genma, who split the stack into quarters, rearranging them as he pleased. He picked up the cards and tried to bridge them the same way Aoba had, but his effort was far clumsier and irregular. Anko’s hand reached in from his left, plucking his sorry attempt away. With a self-satisfied smirk, she took a moment to show him how to do it properly. The stack was passed back to Aoba, who drug his tongue across the pad of his thumb before rapidly dealing cards around the coffee table, his eyes flicking between the players from behind his sunglasses.

It was Kakashi’s turn in the rotation to host, but his apartment was, in his opinion, far too small to accommodate so many people. He’d said as much, but he’d weaseled out of his last rotation with a fabricated excuse; no one wanted to hear it. And so, here they were, crowded around his coffee table, shoulder-to-shoulder for lack of space.

Asuma and Kurenai had taken the shorter end between Aoba and Genma for themselves, earning slightly more space when, despite her protests, he pulled her onto his lap. She had to turn awkwardly to keep him from peeking at her cards, but she didn’t seem to mind when all was said and done. She held her cards to her chest when she didn’t need them, which allowed her to remain comfortable with the arrangement.

Looking to his left, Aoba caught Asuma’s attention. “Well, Sarutobi?”

Asuma tossed a chip to the middle of the table. “I’ll bet.”

Kurenai smirked and threw two of the same, white chips in the pot. “Raise.”

Although the sum was petty, Genma knew better than to jump in too quickly. He rolled his senbon between his lips as he announced “Call.”

Anko’s fingernails drummed on the wood as she thought, deciding, “Raise,” breaking the cycle by adding three.

Hayate clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Raise.” The chip he threw in was red.

Iruka hesitated, unsure of what he wanted to do. A bump from Tenzo’s shoulder reminded him to make his move. “Um, call.”

Sharing the other, shorter end with Kakashi, Tenzo was having trouble keeping his cards concealed. “Look that way,” he instructed his senpai, pointing past him to the left. With a roll of his visible eye, Kakashi did what he asked. “Raise,” Tenzo decided, adding a white chip to his red one.

Kakashi could see the table from the corner of his right eye, and he made a show of being stubborn, matching Tenzo’s bet without turning back around. “Call.”

Kotetsu snorted in amusement before making his bet. “Call.”

Izumo followed suit, declaring “Call.”

Raido was the last to have his turn, and he’d decided his move several turns ago. “Call.”

Once everyone at the table had called, Aoba lay three cards face-up on the table.

Asuma sucked air in through his teeth before tossing his hand down. “Fold.” He wasn’t about to lose too much on the first game.

“Raise.” Without hesitation, Kurenai added her chips to the growing pile.

“Raise.” Genma tucked his senbon in the corner of his mouth, his teeth gritting against metal as he went in.

Anko bit her lower lip. “Fold.”

“Fold,” Hayate agreed. He hadn’t had enough to drink to be reckless just yet.

Iruka looked from the table to his hand. “Raise,” he declared, a little too enthusiastic as he added a blue chip to the pile.

At that, Tenzo set his cards down. “Fold.”

“Mm.” Kakashi followed suit.

Iruka’s fumble kept the pot small as the table folded, one after the other. Genma thumbed his cards in thought before exhaling through his nose. “Fold,” he grumbled.

Iruka beamed, thoroughly pleased with himself. Out of curiosity, Tenzo took the cards from his friend. Kakashi leaned in for a look before swearing “Fuck me.”

Tenzo slapped Iruka’s cards down in the center, earning a collective groan from the group when they saw just how terrible his hand had been. “Son of a bitch,” Genma groaned, rubbing his forehead. Kurenai swiped his cards and laughed, turning them for the table to see his much better hand. 

“Refill time, newbie,” Anko leaned back on one hand to look at Iruka from behind Hayate, swinging her empty bottle between her fingers.

Sandwiched as he was between Tenzo and Hayate, even at the corner, Iruka had to scoot backwards several inches just to get his long legs underneath him. “How many?” he asked as he stood, counting the show of hands. Realizing it was more than Iruka could carry, Tenzo wiggled himself out from beside Kakashi to help. He was, after all, still the second-newest member.

The pair turned their backs to the group to get to the refrigerator, and Iruka took advantage of the opportunity to whisper, “They’re not actually mad at me, are they?”

Tenzo grinned. “No. They just like to give one another a hard time. It’s a good thing.” He began to pass Iruka several bottles, counting in his head as he did so.

“I don’t understand.”

“Neither do I. You just have to roll with it.” Tenzo straightened back up and closed the door with his foot before leading Iruka back to the other side of Kakashi’s apartment. Bottles were passed around before Iruka folded himself to get back into his place. As the last one to sit, Tenzo took a hold on Kakashi’s shoulder as he slipped back down, using him for support. He let go once he was seated to twist off the bottle cap sealing his drink.

Asuma dealt for the table. Anko was a little too lucky this round, winning back what she lost to Iruka and then several times that sum. She, Izumo, and Kotetsu held out until the end, and she threw her hand down in victory after seeing her opponents’ cards. With a snake-like grin, she cordially invited both men to ‘suck it’ as she gathered her winnings.

A riot threatened to break out when Kakashi won the next hand, which Genma challenged with fervor. “He can’t have a poker face if we can’t even fucking see it!” He pointed accusatorily at Kakashi’s mask. Anko and Raido quickly joined Genma’s side of the argument, whereas Tenzo and Aoba did their best to defend Kakashi.

Iruka quieted the group of overgrown children by suggesting a compromise: Kakashi could keep his mask on if he lifted his hitai-ate, on the condition that he didn’t use his sharingan to cheat.

Kakashi accepted these terms with reluctance. He refused point-blank to remove his mask, but his hitai-ate came off enough in combat that nearly everyone at the table had seen his scarred eye at least once. With everyone in the group placated, Kakashi gathered his winnings, and the role of dealer passed on to Genma.

The stakes rose with the more rounds they played, directly affected by the time they spent drinking. Iruka was unlucky enough to deal particularly good hands to both Tenzo and Kakashi. The rest of the table was smart enough to fold, and the two ANBU agents shifted so they were no longer shoulder-to-shoulder. They sat, cross-legged, facing one another, caught in a standoff.

Tenzo knew Kakashi’s tells were in his eyes, in the way the fabric of his mask moved against his cheeks as he set his jaw or twitched his nose.

Kakashi studied his kouhai’s face, intent on finding the slightest discrepancy that would give him away.

The men stared at each other in silence, and the air crackled with tension. Tenzo rubbed a green chip between his thumb and the base knuckle of his index finger before tossing it in with a flick of his wrist. “Raise,” he stated flatly.

“Shit,” Izumo murmured, leaning close to Kotetsu, only to be shooed away by his companion.

Kakashi broke eye contact long enough to pick up a light blue chip, with which he doubled Tenzo’s current bet. “Raise.” His lips moved beneath his mask.

Raido narrowed his eyes. This had passed the point of reason several bets ago. At this point, the betting was just a twisted game of chicken. They both wanted to see who would back down first.

Iruka set the fifth card down on the table, looking cautiously between Tenzo and Kakashi when he removed his hand from the edge.

“Call.” Tenzo placed his last bet for the hand. Kakashi did the same without declaring his move.

On the table lay a four, a ten, a six, a king, and another four.

“Full house.” Tenzo lay two sixes down on the table, earning a whistle of admiration from Kotetsu.

Kakashi closed his eyes. They curved up in that crescent-moon shape that showed he was smiling, but not jovially. He held his cards between his index and middle fingers, and with a turn of his wrist, he flashed the last two fours.

“God damn it!” Tenzo swore before he could stop himself.

“Sorry, Tenzo-kun.” The added honorific made it clear that he wasn’t sorry in the slightest. “You should know better than to bet against your senpai, and in my own house, at that.”

Tenzo allowed himself to fall back onto the floor, legs still crossed and on the ground. Iruka smiled sympathetically down at him from where he sat, offering him a reassuring pat on the top of his head. “You win some, you lose some?”

Tenzo propped himself up on his elbows, lips pulled thin as he told Kakashi, “After this, I’m not paying for you. You took all my money, so just consider it everything you would have suckered me into spending anyway.”

“You wound me.” Kakashi placed a hand over his heart. He’d used his silver tongue to get everyone in the room to pay for him at some point or another, and he didn’t receive any sympathy as a result. With his trademark nonchalance, he gathered his chips from the table, placing them in even stacks.

“Tenzo?” Iruka extended the pack of cards, which Tenzo took before sitting up.

Kakashi turned back to the table, and Tenzo followed suit, occupying himself by shuffling the cards. He flinched almost imperceptibly when Kakashi’s hand pressed against his lower back. It was discreet, hidden by their proximity. Tenzo glanced at Kakashi out the corners of his eyes, and he saw his eyes smile as his thumb ran up and down his spine, his hand still. It was a sign that he had been playing, that he didn’t mean for Tenzo to take him seriously.

He regained his focus as he dealt hands around the table, looking to Kakashi when he finished. With his left hand, Kakashi held his cards and examined them before setting them on the table. He used the same hand to toss his bet into the pot. Infuriatingly, the fingers of his right hand slipped beneath the hem of Tenzo’s shirt, brushing lightly against his skin.

They had both agreed to carry on as normal so they wouldn’t alert their friends to the sudden change in their relationship. This meant that Kakashi would continue with his shameless flirtations, and Tenzo would, for the most part, feign complete ignorance. Clearly, their friends knew about the sexual tension and attraction that existed between them, but they couldn’t risk anyone knowing it went further than that. It would be grounds for Lord Hiruzen to separate Tenzo from Team Ro, and to forbid them from working together on any missions. As busy as the ANBU kept them, this would mean they wouldn’t see one another for months at a time. Neither of them waned to take that risk.

Although this fell within the confines of what Kakashi would have tried before the agreement, Tenzo was uncomfortable with the chill that ran up his spine, making his hair stand on end. It took a concentrated effort on his part to pay attention as the bet went around the table, ending back at him. He lay three cards face-up on the table, and Kakashi didn’t require prompting to make his play.

“Raise,” the masked ninja declared without looking at the cards in his hand. His chips clattered against the others when they fell.

“You’re getting cocky, Hatake,” Kotetsu warned, stating what was obvious to the other players. “Raise.”

Izumo, Aoba, Kurenai, and Iruka folded before Tenzo lay the fourth card on the table.

Kakashi put a black chip into play for the first time that night. “Raise.”

“Fuck this, I’m out.” Kotetsu folded, pushing himself back from the table to distance himself from his cards.

“Call.” Raido smirked at Kakashi. “No way you’re that lucky twice in a row. You’re bluffing.”

“Not taking that chance,” Asuma decided, setting his cards down.

Genma took the senbon out of his mouth and stuck it behind his ear as he studied his opponents, an intentional sign that he was getting serious. “Raise.” He tossed in two chips, one black and one red.

“Call.” Anko matched Genma’s bet.

“Fold.” Hayate decided the bet was too steep for him.

With that, Tenzo turned over the fifth card.

“Call.” Kakashi met Anko’s bet. The last few players met him, and Anko was the first to show her cards. “Two pair!” The eight and five from her hand matched the ones on the table.

“Two pair,” Genma repeated, showing his own cards. Like Anko, he had an eight, but his second card matched the king, giving him the advantage.

“Three of a kind.” Raido placed two nines on the table.

“Straight,” Kakashi declared, turning over a seven and a four.

“Motherfucker!” Genma swore, smacking the table with his hand. “No, that’s bullshit. You’re cheating.”

“Me? Never.” Kakashi brushed aside the comment.

Genma went to the weaker link, zeroing in on Tenzo. “You helped him cheat, didn’t you? You’re in on this together, raising the pot like you did last time. I’m on to you two.”

Tenzo shook his head vehemently. “No, I didn’t, I swear.”

Popping his senbon back between his lips, Genma frowned. “Okay, new rule. On poker night, if there’s any obvious attraction, you can’t sit together. I’m talking SOs, fuck buddies, one-night-stands, even wanting to jump somebody, because clearly you can’t be trusted. Now fess up and change seats.”

Any awkwardness that hung in the air after Genma’s rant dissipated when, other than the senbon user, every member of the group got to their feet. “You’re fucking kidding me… You know what? Just sit back down. You nasty fucks.”

“Like you’re innocent,” Anko sneered as she sat back down beside him.

“Never claimed I was, but I could’ve gone my whole life without that. I swear to god, I’ll poison you all the day this becomes an orgy.”

“Don’t worry, Genma. We just won’t invite you,” Iruka deadpanned to the surprise of everyone at the table. Mouths hung open until Anko burst into a fit of laughter, clutching her sides.

“Oh, god, it hurts!” she cried, falling against Genma, who shrugged her off to her displeasure.

Her laugh brought the rest of the group on the verge of tears, with Iruka laughing the hardest. His cheek were bright red in disbelief that he said it aloud, but the clap on the back he received from Hayate told him he’d made an excellent impression.

Trying to save face, Genma snapped, albeit not entirely in malice, “Just go get me a drink, schoolteacher.”