#nekoyashiki x issei

[heretherebedork]

The ending realization that Mamocchi wanted to be loved but couldn't accept it because he kept chasing after being what he thought everyone else wanted him to be and only when he accepted what he wanted was he able to accept that he could be loved and he was able to express that ability to love in pictures and only after that, only after he found himself, could he accept both love and the presence of the person he loved.

And about how Issei had held onto the love for Mamocchi regardless but was too selfless to act on that love, he was too willing to give up until he realized how much he needed to fight for the love he wanted and the joy he got from that love and watching his smile through the episode, watching how he smiled but never really until he was smiling through his tears.

[connorjesup]

Doujin isn't suppose to be created for an ulterior motive. I know that already. It's a place to create what you want, how you want. I know that well and clear.

+ bonus; Yamada Koharu being a Big Mood™

[respectthepetty]

I love Kabe-Koji!

I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it.

*whispers* I love it.

Episode 6 started in black and white with Mamoru talking about how he thought he had to be ashamed of being gay and how he needed to hide it; then, he found a place where he realized he didn't have to hide who he was and color came into his life...

*I'm crying*

But now he feels like he is losing that place, and he is OPEN and honest about his struggle

So his friends show up to support him in various ways and them just being there for him and reminding him that he has support and has friends who like that he draws men's tits and has a shrine dedicated to a pop idol makes him smile in the smallest way

He's not anywhere close to being over his depression, but he has support. He has people who love him just the way he is not despite it. He can be his authentic gay self. He can be quiet and wear black because the people around him bring the loudness and color.

He wants a place to be free and where people will like and accept him. He is so worried about being liked that he misses that he is LOVED!

He doesn't realize that he can be different and still be loved even outside of his special place.

But Issei is going to show him.

This potential serial killer is going to show our Mamocchi that he deserves to be loved how ever he needs to be loved. Issei is going to show Mamocchi that even when he isn't at his best, what's important is he keeps trying.

*bawling on the floor in a fetal position*

I LOVE THIS SHOW!

[waitmyturtles]

In the midst of today’s GMMTV excitement, I bring you a distraction meta: Kabe Koji, the finale. IT WAS LOVELY. 

What drew me into the show originally was the conceit of the plight of a doujin -- how were the writers of this show going to design the love journey of someone who essentially draws intimate (VERY INTIMATE) manga?

And where they took this show! Episode seven’s revelations of self-hatred. The finale’s revelation of the sympathetic journalist. TSUBASA COMING THROUGH (WHAT?! TSUBASA?). Yamada giving Mamocchi the one final push (YAMADA, THE REAL MVP, THE REALSIES). The taped-up photo at the end. Issei in the apron. 

For a short series, this show was seriously complicated. When I saw Tsubasa coming through for Issei, I realized that I had forgotten the story of Tsubasa’s brother, and how that episode pushed Tsubasa himself to become a great idol -- for the sake of someone else.

And the same with Issei. He became an idol for the sake of someone else. He knew he couldn’t win Mamocchi in high school -- so Issei pushed himself to become a success to remain in Mamocchi’s eyes, somehow, even while not knowing how devoted Mamocchi was to Issei. Issei naively pushed through -- because, I think, naiveté was all that Issei had, as someone who had grown up in such a traumatized household. 

I’m just gushing out thoughts here at the moment, but another twist I loved was the manly tits doujinshi character (did he have a name?!), asking Mamocchi why his life and love were so complicated. I really liked this motif -- while doujinshis are almost always centered around sex and/or intimacy, the ways in which it gets there can be very real and very complicated (that’s a GREAT overgeneralization, by the way, as there are very risqué and controversial doujinshis out there, topics on which I’m not going to touch). But, generally speaking, you know what the doujinshis will be getting at. For the manly tits guy to be asking Mamocchi -- what’s up? -- I think was a useful indication that the world was telling Mamocchi, you are making your love too complicated and inaccessible. You can let go, safely, and find your intimacy with the person who CLEARLY loves you, if you’re willing to find it and see it for what it is.

In this instance, for the sake of development, I liked that there was a time jump. I don’t think enough time was spent on demonstrating that Mamocchi was coming out of his social bubble after the time jump, but the signs were there, even with Mamocchi going to the convention afterparty. Mamocchi needed to slowly start coming out of his shell to recognize, as Yamada was reminding him -- that he could have, and deserve, happiness. 

And this might take me another post, but I feel like there was something really twisted, deep, lovely, and complicated about Issei’s journey, too. While I called him naive earlier, I wonder out loud if what we saw in this episode was a kind of growth, moving forward, moving backwards, protecting Mamocchi, maybe even protecting himself -- all because we know that Issei was traumatized as a child and used his smile to hide his feelings, to protect himself, and to protect others around him from what he was experiencing.

I think Issei needed to come out of his shell, too. We think he had already been out of it, with the way he was coming onto Mamocchi throughout the series. But I think his reading Mamocchi’s final doujinshi was the kind of emotional confirmation that Issei HIMSELF needed to make his final case to Mamocchi. Mamocchi revealed his true feelings in that last doujinshi. He was honest with himself, with the world, with his heart. There was nothing he was hiding anymore.

I think Issei needed to see that to feel safe in HIS love for Mamocchi, and to prepare to make a final confession that would win Mamocchi over. Issei had grown up in a household of hidden hatred, simmering anger, hidden feelings. However, Issei is a character that wears his heart on his sleeve. That’s the way he needed to express love -- and he needed Mamocchi to confirm it, in Mamocchi’s own way, so that Issei could cross the bridge and wrap Mamocchi into a relationship.

Man, I am GOING TO MISS THIS SHOW. Japanese BLs this year have SLAYYYYYYYED ME. SLAYED ME. I did not know what to expect out of Kabe Koji, but this show was UTTERLY FABULOUS. Issei and Mamocchi -- I’m going to miss you guys so much. 

[alleycvm]

I do not think Tsubasa was a bully in school. Tsubasa being a bully would be lazy writing. I feel like Tsubasa has these reactions just before he turns on his tough exterior acting as a defense mechanism only Issei can see through, i.e. we can see Tsubasa reacting to the lady Issei brought at the end of the episode.

I believe the photos in the article look somewhat staged - I do understand this is a show and everyone is acting. However, my initial thought was he did get into a fight with this student, but not because he was bullying him. My original idea was the kid he had pinned to the wall was a bully, but I am not really sold on the kid being a bully. If I had to think of an reason, I would say the kid was someone close to Tsubasa allowing himself to give up and Tsubasa - being Tsubasa - attempted to "motivate/push" the boy like he does his group members. I just had a passing thought about the boy in the photo possibly bullying Tsubasa and this is a photo of Tsubasa finally standing up for himself - I am thinking the kid triggered Tsubasa into getting violent.

I think Tsubasa isn't a bully because:

Issei likes/adores him. As we can see from Issei's interaction with the reporter, Issei seems clueless but is very aware and thoughtful.

Tsubasa just accepted and announced he was a bully too quickly and easily. At his level of stardom, he could easily fight off these accusations.

Tsubasa's acceptance of the article felt like no one would believe him otherwise.

Tsubasa refuses to explain the context of the photo further.

Tsubasa attempts to escape to his safe space (gym).

Tsubasa looks hurt and heartbroken when he sees the antis outside the window.

These are all just fun speculations I am making. I am excited to see how it all plays out next week. I leave this to you scary Issei!

[bengiyo]

Kabe-Koji-Nekoyashiki-kun Desires to be Recognized Ep 2 Stray Thoughts

Props to autocorrect for helping me type the header. I'm very excited to see Maximum Tsundere and Maximum Sunshine interact again. I will be very disappointed if Framboise doesn't show up this episode, because I think I want to be him.

I kinda understand the concept of wanting to admire people from afar. Gao Shi De conveyed some of that. I do think this is a bit extreme.

I like the short member with red hair of Shiny Smile.

I like how I'm already pre-mad about paparazzi.

I will not be skipping this intro. It's too much fun.

"Beat your own ass." Excellent advice.

Ah, homophobia. I hope this guy gets his ass beat.

YES, YAMADA! "There was a bug." Is this SPY x FAMILY?

This dude is almost too dramatic.

I do love the dynamic between Nekoyashiki and Yamada. She is amazing to watch.

"All female fans of BL...have a penis growing in our hearts." *Wink, wink, wink* Absolutely unhinged. I love her.

It's rather compelling how Issei consistently inspires Nekoyashiki. I don't think I've ever seen a show about an idol fan. Likewise, Issei is just as motivated to impress Nekoyashiki.

I'm a sucker for a montage, especially when people are working to impress the other.

When I visit Japan, I want to see one of these pedestrian railroad crossings in action.

Framboise crumbs... Hopefully we get more of him next week.

Oh good. They're going to talk more next week, though I am also concerned that he bailed on his event. Tsubasa is going to explode.

[heretherebedork]

Nekoyashiki saying that Issei hurts him, that his smile hurts him and then Issei... doing what he does because he loves Nekoyashiki, because he doesn't want to hurt him, leaving him the way Nekoyashiki tried to leave him all those years ago.

"Then we should never see each other again."

The same idea. Different mouths. Different times. Different meanings. One to protect himself from pain he couldn't handle and one to give him up to stop hurting him and both given in agony, in the deepest of painful places.

Nekoyashiki because he wants to be the most important person, the most important thing in Issei's life but Issei doesn't express himself that way and Issei being he wants to stop hurting the person he loves, wants to know that Nekoyashiki is happy even if he can't be there.

My heart breaks for both of them because they're both so hurt by this, both in love and both aching, both in agony but trying to find s freedom for the same thing... Nekoyashiki's happiness.

[heretherebedork]

Tsubasa goes and buys the comic for him! He goes he makes sure that Issei has exactly what he needs because he's seen how much he's stopped smiling and how much he's changed and he knows because Issei did the same thing for him and now they've both learned, they've grown, they're discovered how much they can support each other and help themselves at the same time.

And then Issei outs himself on national TV because he saw their love story the only way Nekoyashiki could tell it... through pictures and he understood, he understood what words had never been able to express and what Nekoyashiki had never been able to accept until he put it into pictures.

Because all Issei ever needed was to know he was loved in return and he would never, could never, give up. Because he loves with all his heart and he loves with all his soul and he loves Nekoyashiki enough both to stay away and to find him again.

(although I would please like to stop spinning, okay?)

[connorjesup]

Aw, my manager says to return to Tokyo, ASAP. Bummer. She interrupted my nice talk with you. Sorry, I’ve gotta go.

Matsuoka Koudai as Nekoyashiki Mamoru and Nakao Masaki as Kazama Issei in Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki Kun Desires To Be Recognized ep 3

[connorjesup]

Those two seriously get along.

Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki Kun Desires To Be Recognized ep 7

[connorjesup]

I found you! H-Huh!? Sorry, I'm taking Mamocchi! He's all yours.

[connorjesup]

Matsuoka Koudai as Nekoyashiki Mamoru Nakao Masaki as Kazama Issei

Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki Kun Desires To Be Recognized ep 7

[connorjesup]

Let go already.

Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki Kun Desires To Be Recognized ep 8

[connorjesup]

Let’s go on a date.

PREVIEW OF EP 7

[connorjesup]

I’m not... forcing myself. But I do feel uneasy.

Matsuoka Koudai as Nekoyashiki Mamoru and Nakao Masaki as Kazama Issei in Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki Kun Desires To Be Recognized ep 4

[connorjesup]

Anyway... I’m not going. I’m not going, but... Well...

Kabe Koji Nekoyashiki Kun Desires To Be Recognized ep 5