#niall horam imagine

[edgeofmyniall]

Part Two

“Do ya have peanut butter?” Niall asks as the waitress shakingly hands us menus. She’s staring at the both of us, either in shock that we’re seated in her booth at her work or because the first thing out of Niall’s mouth is asking for peanut butter.

“I don’t know. It’s my second week so I’m not sure though. Can I get you anything to drink?” her voice squeaks over the radio playing today’s hits; she’s quite confused as to why Niall would ask her for peanut butter in a pancake house. This little hole in the wall restaurant almost looks like a time warp back to the nineties hit show “Saved by the Bell”. Bright red and blue booths with the tables lined in yellow sit perfectly in rows. Two columns of booths run along the walls with white tables running down the middle. Along the walls nearest the kitchen are two giant pink tile squares with the name of the diner in green neon writing. I gaze over the menu, and at the bottom written in fine print, reads, “If we can’t produce your favorite pancake, your meal is on us.”

“I’ll take an orange juice,” Niall’s voice sounds deep, like he has to overpower this timid teen. I look up to the blonde girl, her eyes frantic, and smile.

“I’ll take a cup of coffee and some water. If you don’t have peanut butter, it’s no big deal,” my voice seems to soothe her. She nods her head so frantically that her paper hat nearly falls off. She turns on her heels, marching to the kitchen; she’s on a mission to find me some peanut butter. Niall and I look at each other for a moment- a moment where our eyes lock. The crow’s feet around his eyes form as he toothily smiles before he lets out a laugh so deep it hits me in my heart, it nearly leaps out of my chest. I try to cover my mouth with my hand, I really do, but I miss somehow. My knuckles hit my cheeks as I turn to face the white divider that has a blue triangle pointing down the column of booths. The laugh grows as my mistake is seen by Niall. I roll my lips together trying to kill my laughter, but seeing Niall’s face turn to the color of a ripe tomato makes my efforts worthless. I let my laugh slip, and it’s not that I’m wanting to laugh at our waitress, but it’s obvious she’s a fan.

“She’s so nervous. Stop that Niall,” I swat my plastic covered menu at Niall’s arm. He runs his fingers through his hair as he tries to concentrate on his menu.

“Yeah, well, you went and hit yerself in the face for no fuckin’ reason,” Niall grins, his white teeth practically sparkle. “What an idiot.” I go back to looking at my menu, mindlessly letting time drag by. I know what I want; I always get it. Niall’s smile imprints on my brain, permanently etched in the Niall folder of my memories. My teeth graze over my bottom lip; I wonder what it feels like to have Niall’s lips on me, on my skin. For me to be the reason behind his smile. To have his hands touching me.

I suddenly lose my train of thought when our waitress comes back with our drinks. She has tot hold the tray with both hands she’s shaking so bad. She nearly spills Niall’s orange juice on him, but he grabs it before she can let go. He gives her a reassuring smile. As I am being handed my coffee, she opens her mouth.

“I just love y’all. I’m sorry I know it’s not professional or anything, but I love you guys. I grew up listening to One Direction,” when she looks at Niall, her eyes light up before she turns to me, “And-and I always aspired to be your mom. This is a dream come true.”

“Well thank you for everything,” Niall says smoothly, something he’s said a million times over. “Without you, we wouldn’t be here. So what’s good here?”

She goes on a ramble of the chef’s special and their rise to fame while I mentally withdraw myself. Hearing how young girl aspire to be my mom is something I’ve dealt with my entire life. I can’t count how many times I heard ‘you’re so lucky Ashley Diana is your mom.’ or ‘I can’t believe you’re Ashley Diana’s daughter!” My personal favorite is, ‘It’s a shame you quit modeling. Your mom must be devastated.’ As if using my mother’s name gets anyone brownie points with me. As if I can’t be my own person.The amount of looks I got when I was growing up because I became bigger cut me deep. I always felt like a disappointment to my mom, and some days I still feel like that.

“Ya okay, Townes?” Niall asks. The waitress is gone along with our menus. Did I even order my food? But suddenly I’m not hungry anymore. I smile hoping it will comfort him. I pray for a distraction, anything at this point. I don’t want to be here anymore.

“I’m fine.” I lie. My stomach churns, I feel a sour taste rising in my throat. I want to leave.

“What’s with the peanut butter anyways?” Niall asks, trying his best to change the subject. He’s stirring his orange juice slowly with his plastic straw. His brow is furrowed, lines of skin rolling together like when the last of the ocean waves meet the shore. His eyes show concern, but he can’t look me in my own eyes. Something I’ve always hated about growing up in the spotlight, even Niall who was thrown into it, is that we both have to act a certain way, think a certain way, be a certain way, and for me I’ve never fitted into the mold. I was never the girl who everyone wanted to be like. I was the black sheep of the family, of Hollywood.

“Makes ‘em sweeter,” I whisper numbily, barely audible. I pour sugar from the glass holder into my coffee and stir, watching the black liquid swirl around in the cup, like a whirlpool pulling in everything in its path, I want to drown. My mind is foggy as I watch the sugar dissipate. I want to sink in to the red and blue booth, become something in the background, anything other than standing out. In this moment, I want to blend in.

---

Niall turns the volume knob up on the radio, letting the soft rock song consume his car. We’ve been on the road for thirty minutes now, and we haven’t said a word. My legs are propped on the dash as I’m slightly slouched in the passenger seat. My head is turned towards the window watching the highway pass us. The trees and billboards eventually become a blur as Niall speeds through the fast lane. My body feels heavy like a rock. If someone could throw me, I’d sink to the bottom of the lake with no struggle. Niall thumbs the steering wheel to whatever song is playing. The mindless beating rings in my ears. It’s not annoying, but it’s on the verge of.

“Ya know,” I sigh, still looking out of the window. I’m breaking the silence from the restaurant that carried over to the car. “You never told me where we’re going.” I turn my head to look at Niall. He’s grinning to his ears. He’s hiding something, and I need to know what.

“Somewhere,” he’s sly. He won’t tell me where. Normally, red flags would pop up, but with Niall, somehow in some demented way, I feel safe. And it’s not like I haven’t tried to find out either. His GPS was already set when I climbed into the SUV this morning. I asked him multiple times in our duration of text messaging and all he would say was “Somewhere.”

“Niall, where on God’s green Earth are we going?” I sound annoyed, and partially because I am. I’m annoyed with the games and the secrets and people holding out on me. I’m sick of everyone’s shit.

Including my own.

Niall frowns. Obviously my annoyance disrupted his plan. “Lake Victoria.” His voice is cold. The opposite of what it was just a few moments ago.

“Lake...Victoria? As in Washington?” I repeat, only this time those exact words sound like a question instead of a statement. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ Niall, that’s a day or two away. And we’re driving there?” I huff as I slide further down in my seat.

I am going to die.

“Figured it would be a nice getaway for the both of us. Secluded from everyone including our phones, that way we can write, and maybe get to know each other better,” his words run through me like a nail being hammered into wood. He’s trying to help you, and you’re being a bitch about it.

“Guess it wasn’t a great idea as I thought,” he sounds disappointed in himself. Like he was trying to impress me, and I’m not giving it to him, when in fact I was quite impressed. No one really went to great lengths to impress me or to win me over besides my mother. But with my mom, I think she was trying to overcompensate for the times that those modeling agencies turned me down by kindly sugarcoating that I was too fat for them.

“No, it is.” I pause, scooting up in my seat. “I just- I don’t know, maybe I’m being dumb, but I’m not used to people being nice to me for no reason. There’s always a reason, Niall. Always.”

“You deserve to be treated nicely. No one should an ulterior motive. I mean, I get it. This business is a dog-eat-dog world, but you deserve to be treated like a human.” Niall’s voice soothes me. My body becomes soft, and feels like a feather flying through the air. I want to soar.

[kaiituu]

15 Followers I’d like to know

tagged by: @punkinroses

1) name: Katie

2) gender: Female

3) Star sign: Aries

4) Height: 5′4”

5) Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

6) Favorite animal: Hedgehogs

7) Hours of sleep: I used to get 2-4 but I’m trying to get 6-8 now

8) Number of blankets: 2

9) Dream trip: Hawaii, Ireland, or visiting Italy again

10) Dream job: Nat Geo Photographer but realistically a Marketing Director for a nonprofit

11) Time: 12:08 PM

12) Birthday: April 17

13) Favorite bands: All Time Low. 1D, Panic! At the Disco, the 1975, Mumford and Sons, Imagine Dragons, Twenty One Pilots, various musical soundtracks, there’s honestly like a billion bands I listen to tbh.

14) Favorite solo artist: Ed Sheeran, Niall Horam, Harry Styles. Ingrid Michaelson, Elton John, John Mayer, Lin-Manuel Miranda, etc.

15) Song Stuck in my head: the entire Hamilton soundtrack

16) Last movie I watched: I think Mulan?

17) Last show I watched: Brooklyn Nine-Nine

18) When did I create my blog: Senior year or high school or before I started college idk

19) What do I post/reblog: Fandom stuff, my art/writing, other art, aesthetic stuff, memes, just different posts

20) Last thing I googled: performing arts alumni (for my internship)

21) Other blogs: Fandom blogs, and personal/lifestyle blogs I never got around to posting on

22) Do I get asks: no

23) What I choose my URL: It’s a nickname a friend gave me a while back and I liked it, plus it’s my DnD character name and gaming persona

24) Following: 876

25) Followers: 116

26) Lucky number: Eleventy seven

27) Favorite instrument: Piano, violin, cello, acoustic guitar (I can’t play any of these)

28) What am I wearing: Blue plaid pajama pants and a Royals baseball shirt

29) Favorite food: Cheese Pizza, Spaghetti, chocolate, chips and queso…..

30) Nationality: American

31) Favorite Song: Paradise by Coldplay or Niall’s new album currently

32) Last book I read: …….

33) Top three fictional universes I’d like to join: Voltron, Marvel, Pokémon

Sorry Kenzie I stole some of your answers @punkinroses

Tagging: @wadanohar4 @echoe-evangelina @the-nerdy-aspie @seekerswarms @thegracesociety

[woahdamniall]

i want niall to take me to an event or something and i want to be upset with niall because i was jealous of something he said to another girl and i want him to notice that i'm not acting the same and i want him to keep asking me throughout the night "baby whats wrong?" "are you mad at me?" "why are you being so quiet?" and then i will say harshly "nothings wrong! leave me alone" and i want to see his face break like i had just told him the meanest thing in the world and i would start to feel bad because maybe it isn't all his fault, maybe i'm just being jealous but i don't say anything. and i want us to have a silent car ride home with him repeatedly looking over at me and i'm just staring out the window trying not to cry because all this stress is just building up and then when we get to his flat he'll immediately grab me into his arms and i'll cry in his chest and he'll say that whatever he did he was so sorry and that i mean the world to him and then i would tell him that he didn't do anything wrong i was just jealous and all the stress of the tour and barely being able to see him was building up on me and i would just stay there in his arms and cry and he would cry too because he doesn't know how to change this. and he can't make it better but he'll just keep repeating "we can get through this baby we always do..." and i'll just know that niall horan is in love with me. like he truly loves me with everything he has. and he doesn't ever want to let me go because i'm the girl he's been waiting for and he's willing to go through anything for me and i'm starting to cry goodbye