#niestumblrficlets

[gayhoediaz]

“I’m just… this isn’t what he needs right now,” Eddie sighs, running a hand through his hair as he watches Bobby’s hand, curled around the cup of coffee.

“I think what he needs is for his dad to be happy,” Bobby comments gently.

“I am happy,” Eddie argues - little bit too quickly - quickly enough that it has Bobby raising an eyebrow over the rim of his mug. Eddie huffs, a bitter smile on his face as he pauses his own mug halfway to his mouth and changes his mind, placing it back down onto the island with a sad, bitter chuckle. “I’m fine.”

“Fine isn’t happy - and we both know this doesn’t have anything to do with Christopher.”

“I’m a dad,” Eddie shakes his head. “Everything in my life is about him.” Bobby merely hums in agreement.

“Yes. But this - the reason why you’re hesitating about this. That’s not. Is it?” At that, Eddie sighs, dropping his eyes away from Bobby’s, looking down into the dark brown liquid in his mug, his own eyes staring back at him.

The silence of the firehouse suddenly feels as it’s so silent that it may as well be an echo. Taunting him.

“How long?” Bobby finally breaks the silence, voice soft. The question is paired with his hand, gently curled around Eddie’s forearm. Comforting. Eddie sighs, looking back up from the coffee - around the firehouse, avoiding Bobby’s eyes until finally, he can’t anymore.

“A long time.”

“A long time,” Bobby repeats, nodding, as if he already knew the answer.

“No one is saying you’re not allowed to take all the time you need, but I’ve known you for a long time, and it feels like… there’s a reason why you’re telling me. Why you’re being more honest with yourself. Maybe you are ready.”

“Chris, he doesn’t need this, he doesn’t need me to-to struggle again, to change, to have to question what’s going on with me, to…” he trails off, genuinely not sure where he’s going with it, but he feels as if he’s desperately grasping for something, some argument, some real reason why he can’t.

“Eddie,” Bobby says, pushing his own mug away to the side, before doing the same with Eddie’s own. Then he crosses his arms, resting his forearms on the island, leaning closer to Eddie, giving him no choice but to look him in the eyes. “Are you seriously telling me that you feel right about teaching your son that it’s perfectly okay, and fine, and normal, to hide things about yourself because it might be inconvenient to the people around you?”

Eddie sighs, the words soaking in as he swallows thickly, stinging eyes wandering around the loft.

“No. No, yeah,” he sighs, nodding - swallowing again. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Eddie doesn’t think the sound of the doors opening and the truck pulling in has ever sounded quite so sweet - he takes the out, swallowing his unshed tears and calling out to Buck, Hen and Chimney to ask them about the call.

Before he reaches the top of the stairs, though, before they can all completely reunite, Bobby catches him by his shoulder, and lowers his voice, eyes warm and genuine as they seek his own; “We love you.”