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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Shadow and Bone (TV), The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Nikolai Lantsov/Zoya Nazyalensky/Alina Starkov Characters: Alina Starkov, Nikolai Lantsov, Zoya Nazyalensky Additional Tags: #grishapairexchange, Context? What context?, Fluff, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Series Summary:
Anything worth doing always starts as a bad idea.
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Written for the Grisha Rarepair Exchange for @mercutiotakethewheel
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 @goblins-riddles-or-frocks replied to your post:Sunday Snippet
I love this!! I think my favorite take on these two is just throwing them together post r&r and seeing how they claw their way out of their respective traumas. and idk second choice romance is so poignant to me.
I love what a gut punch it is for her to say “I thought I was” there. where do you even go from that! especially after already getting married, and the nature of royalty being what it is I get not knowing how to resolve it tho, I’m stalling on pretty much the same issue myself alas
Ahhh, thank you!! I love the dynamic between these two, and doubly so during and post R&R. They have #CompatibleTraumas, and I think it’s a lot of fun to explore the ways the characters’ traumas and emotional needs interact—both for better and for worse. 
And yes to your statement about second choice/second chance romances!
IMO, even more than her feelings for Mal or the Darkling, the main obstacle to canon Nikolai/Alina is that canon!Alina is unsuited for life as a political figure. From a Doylist perspective, this unsuitability boils down to Bardugo’s desire to have Alina end her story by returning to Keramzin with Mal at her side—an ending that wouldn’t work anymore if Alina was allowed to fully grow into her leadership role. 
I think you’re the person I’ve discussed this with before, but while I understand what Bardugo was trying to narratively achieve, and I don’t wholly disagree with it, it still frustrates me to see Alina start to reach her potential, only to repeatedly have it cut off and watch her start from scratch over and over again. I’ll freely admit that this is a matter of personal preference as much as it is objective critique! 
I’m sure a thousand metas have been written about how Alina’s different love interests symbolize different parts of herself and different paths she could have taken, but it always hits me anew each time I think about her canonical relationships.
ANYWAY.
I feel like Nikolai could respond to Alina’s accusations by retreating behind his ‘perfect prince’ veneer, or he could be emotionally open with her, as he has been in the past. Likewise, I can see Alina either retreating from him or having a real conversation with him. Despite the rocky start to their acquaintance, the two of them have been pretty low-drama together when it comes to the personal stuff!
Yeah, the nature of royalty means divorce or even an official separation aren’t really options—especially not without the existence of an heir and a spare!—which would only make Alina feel more trapped. That said, I can see Alina going on a PR tour/diplomatic trip/secret mission by herself (albeit accompanied by guards/friends) as a solution of sorts, as that would temporarily give her space from Nikolai, the palace, and her ordinary duties. Likewise, I think it would help Alina if she did more work with the common people, as that’s something that feeds her soul in the same way working with the nobility drains her. 
The role of queen can’t be completely changed without creating problems for the Lantsov reign, especially since Nikolai came to the throne under the circumstances he did, but I think Alina and he could get away with tweaking it some. Alina’s sainthood would aid them in this, as it lets conservatives write her off as the exception rather than the rule, while also gradually accustoming everyone to a different type of queenship.
That said, I think my resolution might simply be adding Zoya into the mix (and potentially moving the entire scene into my WIP Nikolai/Zoya/Alina fic). 
Zoya tosses her dark, glossy curls back. “Self-pity isn’t a good look on you, Starkov.”
“Self-pity?”
“None of us forced you to stay; no one forced you to marry Nikolai. This was your choice. And now you want to quit because, what, it’s too hard?” She sniffs derisively. “If you’re going to run away, do it now before you’ve established yourself any further. I’m sure someone will step up to fill your place.”
Alina sputters, furious. “I—I’m not running away.”
Even if I wanted to, I have nowhere left to go.
“If you say so.” Her tone is infuriatingly, airily dismissive. “But then, that’s your modus operandi, isn’t it? Running away when things get too real?”
“I’m not a coward,” Alina spits back.
Zoya smiles, all teeth and disdain. “Then prove it.”
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