#no because Cesaro is too nice and sexy for this

[hollyhocktea]

No I’m mad where’s my Cesaro title run

[alainawriteswwe]

Pride and Prejudice and Wrestling - Part 3

Characters: Seth Rollins x Reader, The gang from Raw

Summary: When a superstar Hollywood actress (The Reader), interacts with WWE Superstar Seth Rollins at Monday Night Raw, sparks fly. Can Rollins overcome his pride and convince the reader to take a chance on him when she’s still recovering from a nasty scandal caused by her cheating fiancé?

Warnings: Lots of flirting, angsty longing and maybe some bad words

Tags: @caramara3 @hardcorewwetrash

– Part 3: Crazy In Love

I watched the rest of the matches with interest backstage, even though I was just a guest and could have left after my segment was done.

The next match up was Finn vs Elias with a little treachery thrown in by Bray Wyatt. I stood with Finn while he waited for his music to start. He was wearing his oh so tiny black trunks which left little to the imagination and his signature leather jacket.

Standing next to him, Finn definitely had presence. It was different than with Seth. Where Rollins had sex appeal and a twinge of naughtiness, Bálor had that X factor, that persuasive charm that could never be taught. That had its own sex appeal too.

Finn was also the epitome of cool with the turned up lapels of his jacket. Plus, I was pretty sure I could grate cheese off those abs. Oh the things you could eat off those abs.

This of course made me think of all the things I could eat off Seth’s abs too. I didn’t realize I was smiling so openly thinking about Seth until Finn pulled me from my reverie.

“Ah, here’s the lass that has been giving Rollins so much trouble tonight.” He set those stunning clear blue eyes on me and I shuddered to take a breath.

“Well, I hope I am not too much trouble. I want them to invite me back some day.”

“I wouldn’t worry about that, lass. They loved you out there. You fit in real well here,” he said in that sexy brogue before looking past my shoulder. He waved at someone behind me giving them a wave and a wink.

Then he leaned in close whispering in my ear. “Besides, folks won’t give you grief about taking it to Rollins. He can be an egotistical jerk. What you see out there in the ring and on camera is not an act.”

“Oh.” I felt guilty for gossiping but I just wanted to know what was going on. “I heard there was bad blood between you and him.”

“He is a very jealous and selfish man. Always over reaching into people’s lives. Rearranging those lives as he sees fit. He can’t stand seeing anyone else get a push. Or showing great talent. He has to be first at everything. One day, if you and I meet again, perhaps I’ll tell you the things he did to me.” I touched his arm as an act of comfort. “Are you coming to karaoke? If so, you can tell me tonight.”

He took my hand in his. A sadness came over those stunning blue eyes.

“No. Unfortunately, that post-show socializing is Rollins’ domain. He has made it very clear he doesn’t want me around. And even though he is not in the title picture as The Man carrying the company right now, he still has a lot of pull around here. He could hurt my career if he wanted. I can’t jeopardize all that I have worked for by upsetting him.”

I shook my head. “That’s awful. You shouldn’t be isolated at work just because Seth doesn’t care for you or is jealous of your talent. That’s not fair.”

Finn shrugged. Those gloriously defined abs of his moving as well as he took a deep breath.

“Lots of things are not fair in the WWE, lass.”

A technician came by to tell Finn to get ready for his entrance.

“In case I don’t see you again.” He kissed both my cheeks. My hand still in his. “It was nice meeting you. Hopefully, we will meet again.” He flashed me a huge smile and then looked past my shoulder before he went through the curtain.

I turned around to see who had caught Finn’s attention behind me only to find Seth glaring at me.

The Architect’s match with Dean vs The Miztourage was up next. I wasn’t originally supposed to go out again but The Game himself, Triple H, came down and asked if I would stay ring side at the match, due to the huge pop I got earlier that night. I felt honored. They laid down how the match would go and what I should do at various points.

I felt butterflies when I went through the curtain with Seth. It was fun seeing him go through his whole entrance routine close up. It was obvious he fed off the energy of the crowd. I whooped and hollered with him just as the crowd was doing.

He leaned over to me and whispered in my ear. The look on his face was neutral but his words definitely were not. “I don’t need a hype man or a valet and I definitely do not need a cheerleader. I’m my own man.”

That popped the bubble of euphoria that was fizzing around me. I pasted a smile on my face and went down the ramp. Then Dean quickly followed with his music.

I felt deflated as we got into the match but I let it all go and soon I was getting into the story of the match. When The Miz hid behind Maryse to shield himself from attack, I pushed her to the ground, opening up the A-Lister for a double attack by Dean and Seth right through the Spanish announce table.

The rest of the match went quickly and then it was over with Seth and Dean being declared the winners. They were still wary of each other and when Seth slid out the ring and up the ramp, I let him go up by himself. Instead, I waited to go up the ramp with Dean. I was gesticulating widely with my hands to the Miztourage that Dean kicked their butts and they weren’t anything to write home about.

When we got through the curtain, Dean caught me up in a huge bear hug and then thwacked me hard on the back like I was one of the boys. “You were good out there, kid. Real good.” He looked at his friend. “What do you think Rollins, does she have it?”

“Does it matter? She’s leaving tomorrow anyway,” he stated before stalking off to the locker room.

I ignored Seth and instead focused on the fun evening to come. It would be nice to have a proper night with some girlfriends even if the guys were joining in on the karaoke. After changing into a simple pair of tight black jeans and a gold off the shoulder top, I met the girls to pile into Sasha’s rental car.

The karaoke place also offered food which was great because everyone was starving. Although Dean complained that the food had better be more than just Japanese seaweed and fish balls or he was bailing with Renee for a cheese burger.

We were shown to a private bar area in the back with lots of leather couches surrounding a large coffee table with menus and song books. There was a bar filling the entire wall with a mirror behind the couches and we even had our own private bartender.

We all huddled around and looked at the song books trying to see what songs we would do. I was looking for a song to really take it to Seth for being so cold before and after the final match. Something to show him he wasn’t sh-t and he should tone his ego down. When I got to the page of a certain pop princess I knew I had my song and my revenge.

It took awhile to start as people placed their food and drinks orders. Cesaro and Seth were nowhere to be found. Sasha was going through the long list of karaoke rules they had hammered out when Seth and Cesaro finally made their way into the large private area where we were seated.

Cesaro laughed as he came in. He always seemed so happy. “You know why I am late everyone. Mr. ‘I Have to Look Perfect’ in a baseball cap and track pants was taking forever.” He pointed at Seth who was already very vocally denying his prima donna status.

“It is important self care to look good, man. You of all people should know that Cesaro.” Seth mouthed a sorry at Sasha. Apparently for his lateness.

“All I know is that I have had dates that took less time than you to get ready,” Cesaro said as Bayley handed him her menu for them to look over together.

Seth looked at me. “Perfection takes time, right princess? And in Hollywood probably a lot of money.”

My smile didn’t quite reach my eyes. “Is that why you haven’t mastered it yet?”

Okay that was cruel but he made me mad with his snippy comments during our entrance and because he looked really delicious in those black skinny jeans that I wanted to take off him. Was everyday leg day for him at the gym?Damn him.

Instead of being offended as I intended he just thumped his hands on his chest and gave us that trademark cackle which turned into a loud feigned guffaw. He pointed to me. “Look everyone, the Princess has got jokes.”

Sasha ignored him and continued to lay down the rules while everyone dug into the shared appetizers. The Legit Boss was taking charge. She stood up to make her announcement.

“Okay. Its normal karaoke rules. Boys against girls. Losers pay for all the food and drinks tonight. Everyone will go once, then we will have a group round. Got it. And our judges tonight are Dean, Renee and Jojo.”

“Hold up, man,” Seth interjected. “How come there are two ladies as judges? That’s a disadvantage to us guys.”

Sasha rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. She was definitely signaling that she wasn’t taking any guff from the Kingslayer. “Seth you make the same argument every time. It’s best to have a odd number of judges in case they are deadlocked.”

Seth grumbled but didn’t protest anymore. He then turned his attention to complaining in his nasally voice about the song list. “There’s no pop punk in any of these song books? No Parkway Drive. Not even a lot of Paramore. How will I show off my immense singing talents?”

“If your singing talents are as big as your ego you should be the next Ed Sheeran,” I said and patted him on the back. Seth had no comeback. So I talked with Cesaro and ordered a drink from the bartender. A Coke.

Seth shook his head at my choice. “That stuff’s poison, Princess. You know that right? Empty calories, high fructose corn sugar. It will ruin that curvy figure you got going on.”

I ignored him and took great delight in sipping my soda in front of him through a straw while Seth focused on stealing a distracted Cesaro’s plate of chicken skewers.

I took a seat on the stool between them and talked to Cesaro and Bayley who were thinking of doing a duet before the competition started. Bayley seemed hesitant but was carried away by Cesaro’s enthusiasm.

“Go on and do it,” I said to them. “It will be fun.”

Bayley looked over to Seth for his advice but he just shrugged his shoulders. Cesaro convinced her though and they went off to put in their selection.

That left Seth and I at the bar. He was so close. Part of me just wanted to touch him. To lay my hand on his arm and flip my hair and flirt shamelessly. His hair was in a messy bun at the nape of his neck covered by that backwards cap that I always thought did him no favors when it cast a shadow over those gorgeous puppy dog eyes of his.

He picked up his beer and took a swig. I never noticed his hands up close before. They were large, callused from many sessions working out. His fingers, long and nimble. I wondered how it would feel to have them roam all over my body, caressing my skin. Dipping into naughty places and causing me to surrender and cry out his name.

“Why does everyone seem to need your permission to do things around here Seth? I asked.

He gave me that famous smirk of his. “Because I’m ‘The Man’.”

I rolled my eyes at him. I stole one of the already purloined chicken skewers from Seth’s plate and ate a piece. “So why do you exclude Finn? I talked to him tonight and he said he wouldn’t be welcome here because of you.”

The sexy smirk disappeared. “I wouldn’t believe everything Bálor says to you.” His eyes narrowed. They seemed accusatory. “You’re not meeting him later are you?”

I let out an angry breath. “What business of it is yours?”

He wiped his mouth with his napkin. “I’m making it my business. I saw him talk to you before his match. He made sure I saw.” I let out a frustrated sigh. “Why would he do that?”

“To get at me.”

I laughed. “That’s crazy. He’s just a nice man who you seem intent on mistreating terribly.”

“He’s jealous.”

“Jealous of what, exactly?”

“You and me.”

“There is no ‘you and me’, Seth.”

Those dark eyes drank me in from head to toe undressing every strip of clothing covering my body. “Not yet. But there will be.”

I shook my head no, even though everything in my brain was screaming yes.

“You have no shame. You know that Seth. We may have good banter but I am not a foregone conclusion. I won’t be your evening’s entertainment back in your room and I definitely won’t be responding to your poor excuse for sexting either.”

He chuckled. “So you know about that.”

“Everyone knows about that.” I poked him on the arm. “And you’re not irresistible you know.” But that was a lie. He was. He really was.

He put down his beer and pushed his plate away. “Okay. Deny it.”

“What?”

“Tell me there is nothing between us.”

“I just did.”

Seth shook his head and leaned in closer to me. “No. Tell me you don’t look at me and think about all the fun we would have in bed. Tell me that the tips of your breasts are not straining against your shirt right now because I can see that they are.”

He took my wrist in his hand. “That your pulse doesn’t quicken when I’m around. That you don’t suffer from the anticipation of what could be so damn good between us.

“Or maybe you can manage to squeak out the lie thar you don’t want me to lean in just a few more inches and kiss that very expensive lipstick off your lips…roughly. That secretly you want me to bite that full lower lip that has teased me all night.”

His hands covered my bare arms just shy of my breasts. “Tell me that you don’t want my hands to cover your breasts right now or that just the thought of my touching you, caressing every inch of you is not making you wet even as you try to form words to the contrary.”

He gave a smile but there was no triumph in it for him. But there was truth. Sincerity. “I know the signs. You want me, Princess. Even if you will not admit it. Just like I want you. We are both afflicted by this thing between us. It’s like a string of electricity coursing between you and I in waves. It’s been there all night.”

I opened my mouth to lie and deny everything he said even as my body was doing everything he said. Even though my blood heated and coursed to my core causing my body to beg for the release he could give me. Damn him.

Seth continued. “I see it Princess. Finn sees it too. He wants you. The fact that you want me galls him. He likes to be first.”

Just then the karaoke music fired up, complete with garish ‘90s looking graphics on a big screen. Seth glanced up at Bayley who was gathering her courage to take the mic with Cesaro and he smiled at her to give her courage.

The distraction of the music didn’t stop me from lighting into him though.

“That’s disgusting Seth. I’m not a toy for you and Finn to fight over. Maybe I would want someone else.” I looked up towards the stage as well. “Cesaro is super fit. Maybe I will text him later and ask him to tuck me in bed. How about that?”

“I think your spelling is off, Princess.”

He shook his head and turned back to look at me. I wanted to smack that self satisfied look from his face.

“You may appreciate Antonio’s body and maybe even his European charm but he’s not the one you want to pull your hair in bed and make you scream with pleasure. I mean like really let go. Wake the neighbors kind of stuff.”

He paused, leaning forward. His hands moved up my arms in a slow caress only to stop and gently massage my shoulders with his powerful fingers. The moment he touched me that way my body wanted to sigh in relief. “You know you are really wound up. I could help you with that.”

I broke the hold his hands had on me and pushed his massaging fingers away. Part of me wanted to cry at the loss of contact. “You are really the absolute limit Rollins. You’ve got some nerve.”

He put his hands up in surrender. “I’m just telling the truth, man.”

I wanted to argue, was looking forward to it even but any conversation was soon drowned out by the karaoke.

So Seth and I swiveled our stools to see the action at the mic as Bayley and Cesaro began their duet. They tried their best but murdered a medley of songs from Grease. Bayley seemed hesitant about her voice but was having fun while Cesaro couldn’t sing a note and didn’t care. He belted out the lyrics with gusto, hugging Bayley as they got through each verse. Even though they were terrible, everyone clapped along, hooting and hollering when the song was done.

Soon the competition began and it was all games faces from the guys and gals.

Bray was first up, singing ‘Sweet Home Alabama’ in a clear strong voice that wasn’t that bad. The Miz and Seth, on the same side for once, cheered on their fellow contestant.

“That’s how you do it man. We are gonna mop the floor with the girls. Not one of them can sing,” Seth taunted.

I turned to open my mouth and counter but Sasha got up. “Let me handle this.”

I thought she was going to taunt him back but she just got to sing. She started grooving and singing Adele and we were all speechless. Not only was Sasha a ‘Legit Boss’ in the ring but she was also one on a karaoke mic and she belted out how we could have had it all.

To his credit, Seth was the first one to hug her when she finished, kissing the top of her head. But I did hear him whisper. “We’re still gonna beat you though,” which made us all laugh.

Samoa Joe did Sinatra proud with a knock out rendition of ‘My Way’. Alexa did well with Christina Aguilera’s Genie in a Bottle, which she sold not as much through singing but through her presence on the mic and her dancing and gestures. The Miz tackled Ed Sheeran. Bayley sang a song I didn’t know from DNCE and Braun did ‘Enter Sandman’ by Metallica real justice.

Seth found his Paramore. Belting the familiar song out loudly and in between verses, cackling and heckling us girls that he could beat us all by himself because he was The Champ. When he finished he took a huge bow. And I shook my head even while I clapped for him.

It was now my turn. I was the last of the singles portion. I got up to the stage. Butterflies in my stomach. Everyone was looking at me in anticipation. Right before the music started I winked at Seth and mouthed, ‘this is for you.’ He mouthed back, ‘make it good’. He was now sitting on the couch with Sasha curled up next to him but his attention was fully on me.

I took a deep breath and began to sing, looking directly at Seth belting out the lyrics in a way that would make Britney Spears herself, proud.

Superstar Where you from, how’s it going? I know you Got a clue, what you doing? You can play brand new to all the other chicks out here But I know what you are What you are baby

It was hard to see everyone’s expressions with the lights from the stage on me but I could somehow see Seth clearly. I wanted to bask in my victory of taking Seth down in karaoke. See the anger that would appear and wipe out that ego driven expression on his face.

Womanizer, woman-womanizer You’re a womanizer Oh, womanizer, oh You’re a womanizer, baby

You, you, you are You, you, you are Womanizer, womanizer Womanizer

A smug smile was pasted on Seth’s face as I began the song, but it slowly slipped as the lyrics went on and he realized what they meant. Ahh, here we go. He was gonna be so angry. The arrogance he displayed tonight would be put in its place and fade.

Daddy-O You got the swagger of a champion Too bad for you You just can’t find the right companion

I guess when you have one too many Makes it hard, it could be easy Who you are That’s just who you are baby

But instead of the anger I wanted to relish, Seth gave me hurt. I could tell my words wounded him. Hit a mark and I felt kind of guilty but then I thought of the misery he had caused Finn and I felt like maybe Seth deserved some misery of his own tonight.

Lollipop Must mistake me, you’re the sucker To think that I Would be a victim, not another

Say it, play it, how you wanna? But no way I’m ever gonna Fall for you Never you, baby

My victory was short lived as Seth’s smile turned into a grimace for just a moment. He looked at me. There was a sense of disbelief and betrayal on his countenance. His eyes narrowed. His nose scrunched. He quickly recovered though. Pasted on a smile although underneath the surface he was embarrassed, hurt. That smile did not quite reach his eyes though.

I was horrified. This was not my intention. I just wanted to knock him down a peg. Not hit him with a finisher to do him in. My heart sank to my stomach like a stone. I was suddenly so embarrassed. The lights on the stage, way too hot. Everyone in the audience was quiet. I still had two more verses of the song. And while the audience was polite it was decidedly frosty when I got to the final verses.

When it was over and I wanted to run out the door and back to my apartment in New York and hide. But it was Seth who got up and clapped enthusiastically.

“There you go!” He yelled. That’s how you karakoke.” He pointed at me. “We are still gonna kick you girls’ butts though. Let’s see what you got for the group competition.”

I wanted to run and get a beer or just disappear but Sasha saw me make a beeline for the bar and stopped me. She was in leader mode and told us the song she picked for the group portion of the competition. It was Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ and Alexa and I did our best to keep up with Sasha in doing some basic choreography everyone knew from the video. The audience ate it up. Seth looked unimpressed.

We went to sit down on the couch when we finished. Confident that we were winning the night.

Seth though, wasn’t giving up. I tried to grab his attention after my botch with the Britney song but he just looked right past me. I was gutted. I had to apologize and make this right.

He gathered his final team, himself, The Miz and Somoa Joe, for the final song. Seth glanced over to Sasha.

“The last time we did karaoke you chose Rihanna for your group song. So I was fairly certain you would go with Beyonce tonight. So I figured we would fight fire with fire.”

He motioned over to the employee who was operating the karaoke music and Beyonce’s ‘Crazy In Love’ started. Seth, Joe and The Miz all took a verse. Singing their hearts out. You couldn’t help but love them as they also did the choreography from the accompanying video. But their steps were better than ours. It was obvious they had done a bit of practicing. The Architect always has a plan.

And when Seth, in full Beyonce mode leapt from the stage and sat on Sasha’s lap for a bit we all whooped and hollered. But they weren’t done. As they got to the last bit of the song they all stripped their shirts off. Flinging them to the ladies. We all stood up and cheered.

The judges didn’t take long to declare the guys the winners. Sasha was gutted but acknowledged that the final song clenched it for them. Seth was subdued in his celebration. So unlike him when he was talking trash all throughout the evening.

I tried to make my way over to Seth as he headed for the door with Cesaro. I needed to apologize. Not just so I felt better. I needed to know that I had soothed some of the pain I caused him. As I made my way after Seth as he was about to slip through the door, Dean stopped me.

“Dean. I just want to apologize to Seth,” I pleaded.

“Oh no you don’t,” Dean said. “You know you have got some nerve.” He gestured wildly at me with his hands. “You come here to Raw and we think you are pretty cool. But you are really petty. Seth may have made some mistakes but he’s our brother. You have your own scandals but no one here mentioned them tonight. I guess we are just classier than some fancy actress with fancy awards.”

Sasha butted in. “Dean. Stop. She said she was sorry.”

But Dean didn’t have to say another word. The shame I felt was pretty deep. And what was worse, I wouldn’t be able to fix this. Seth was gone.

–

Thanks for reading everyone! Please let me know if you would like to be tagged for future chapters.

[dreamspeardreams]

RAWcap 23/01/17

This week I’m going to try and analyze RAW through a focus on storytelling. Wrestling will be mentioned, mostly if it’s outstanding one way or another, but otherwise I’ll mainly criticize and compliment the storytelling aspect of the show.

We open with a recap of JeriKO saying they’ve ‘Taken over RAW’ for the past few weeks, and this really speaks to why the Main Event scene has been boring for the past month and a half. These guys are all great (Roman is merely fine), but the plot hasn’t gone anywhere since the Title match was announced for the Royal Rumble. And now Roman opens the go-home RAW.

Roman’s promo this week feels a little arrogant, which is a good thing. Better for Roman to be arrogant than to be a blank slate of Superman power. Kevin Owens and Jericho come out and cut a promo on Roman, which is fairly standard, but Chris Jericho being completely silent and miming actions to go along with KO’s promo is fantastic. Also, Jericho is rocking double scarves this week. Jericho has gone completely mean and arrogant, swerving away from his more comedic stuff, trying to get pops. Now he’s funny because he’s completely serious when he refers to himself as a sexy pinata. KO accepts a rematch from Roman for the US Title, which Jericho is not happy about, and that match is set up for the main event.

Next up is Cesaro vs. Luke Gallows (w) Before the match it’s announced that there will be a Tag-title match on the Royal Rumble Pre-Show in a ‘Two refs are present’ match. Personally, I think this is a good kind of stupid match, it makes a lot of sense with where the story has been going, however I think this should be on the main card. Have it open the show, since Cesaro and Sheamus are going to lose, and then enter the Rumble, but this just isn’t a good way to sell the pre-show and it devalues the tag titles. During a commercial Karl Anderson gets chased away from ringside by Sheamus after kicking Cesaro, and in response Luke Gallows’ beard turns more evil in protest; styling into a pointed shape at it’s end, which compliments Gallows’ face fantastically. Sheamus nearly interferes before Cesaro and the ref stop him, and then as the ref turns to shout at Cesaro he interferes anyway. Here the announce desk mentions this is the reason why there needs to be two refs present, and this is just a good example of a small piece of storytelling that helps the PPV match feel more justified. Karl Anderson returns to knock out Sheamus at ringside and prevent the ref from seeing Gallows tapping out to Cesaro, and so Gallows can pick up the win. Fairly decent match for a go home, it furthers the gimmick of the PPV match well, and made both Sheamus and Gallows look strong.

Next is a backstage segment with Mick on the phone with Stephanie where he repeats the gag of remembering the place he’s in by writing it on his hand. Sami interrupts and announces he wants to enter the Rumble, but Stephanie interrupts and says he’ll have to defeat Seth Rollins tonight in order to enter the Rumble.

To hype up the Women’s match Bayley has an interview with Corey Graves. Both Bayley and Corey Graves are pretty good here, although Corey is a little stiff, unlike his commentary. I still find Bayley’s character very endearing, and the promo’s she cuts are very good at embracing that character wholly. At the end of the segment Charlotte’s PPV winning streak is brought up again, which always makes me wonder when they’re going to pull the trigger.

Mick tells Seth Rollins about his match, and clarifies that if Sami wins, he doesn’t just get a spot in the Rumble, he gets Seth’s spot, so their match isn’t a Fingerpoke of Doom situation. This leads straight into the match, where the commentators announce that The Big Show has entered the match.

Seth Rollins vs. Sami Zayn(w) During Sami’s entrance the Camera finds a small kid cheering Sami, and quickly cuts away since the man behind him is wearing a Kenny omega shirt. Seth throws a punch that knocks off his wrist tape, and the announcers mention both guys are fighting dirty. While this was probably completely accidental, it’s a nice accident, that gives this match a little more weight. Sami lands a fantastic looking Blue Thunder Bomb, but Seth Rollins kicks out. RAWs are at their best when they have a throughline story, and not something that is just based on the title. I wish they would do something like Sami fighting three or four matches throughout the night for a spot in the Rumble, which fits his character of never giving up perfectly too. He could fight Seth, then Cesaro, then Kofi, and lose since he is getting more tired, then finally fight somebody who the crowd doesn’t want to see in the Rumble, such as one of the Shining Stars, and although it might be a little strange tonally, it could make for a really compelling small story, which ends with Sami making it into the Rumble, or if he fought Braun last would make him look good and continue his feud. Seth Rollins teases a pedigree from the top rope, before Sami reverses it into a great looking sunset flip, which Seth manages to kick out of. Sami goes for a Helluva kick on the apron, which Seth reverses into a pedigree (also on the apron), but before he can cover Sami Triple H’s music hits. Triple H doesn’t appear, but Sami Zayn steals a rollup and the lower third reads “Sami Zayn: Officially in the Royal Rumble match”.

The announcers let us know that Shawn Micheals will be on the Pre-Show, which satisfies his requirement to show up at a Big 4 PPV in his hometown, and probably confirms he won’t be a surprise entrant. Along with this is another promo spotlightinga Royal Rumble from history, and I really like how they’ve done these. They’ve been tangentially tied to the 2017 Rumble, and it’s nice for fans like me to be able to see some of the Rumble matches from history, and for longer time fans to relive some Rumble matches from the past.

We cut to Seth backstage, where he finds Mick Foley who doesn’t know anything and blames production. Seth doesn’t believe him and storms off to find answers.

Ariya Daivari, Tony Nese and Drew Gulak vs. Jack Gallagher, T.J.  Perkins and Mustafa Ali (w) Mustafa Ali gets a promo package, who has a great looking face, and looks pretty competent as a wrestler. Jack Gallagher comes out with an umbrella so I guess he just always has one now. They mention that Jack Gallagher won the I Forfeit match against Ariya Daivari, however I don’t know if this was the blowoff or if this is leading to something bigger, and honestly I don’t much care for this story, Jack Gallagher has outstayed his welcome. Mustafa Ali picks up the win with an impressive inverted 450 splash from the top rope. This match, simply due to the cirtue of it being a 6-man tag ends up working a faster pace than a lot of the Cruiserweight matches have been of late, which is good. It allows these guys to show off their faster, higher-flying moves, and nothing gets compromised here.

The New Day are coming out to the ring next, but first Big E scares a stagehand backstage by hiding in a small cart covered with T-Shirts and boxes of Booty-O’s. They are interrupted by Enzo and Cass while talking about their entry into the Rumble, however they end up dancing to Enzo and Cass’ music, and mimicking the opening lines of their promo, which is just really fun to watch. Big Cass announces his entry into the Royal Rumble, but Rusev interrupts Cass before he can describe the New Day as SAWFT. Rusev criticizes Big E and Big Cass for needing to describe themselves as big, stating he doesn’t need to call himself Handsome Rusev for people to know he’s handsome; personally I want to see Handsome Rusev shirts. Rusev announces his entry into the Rumble, before Titus comes down. Xavier Woods looks appalled that their segment got so hijacked. Titus annoys The New Day and they cut him off, but eventually he tells them that there’s an 8-man match scheduled; New Day and Enzo and Cass vs. “The Four of us” (Rusev, Jinder Mahal, Titus and Lana.). Xavier points out that although the crowd wants to see Lana wrestle, this can’t be and Braun Strowman comes down.

New Day and Enzo & Cass vs. Rusev, Jinder Mahal, Titus O’Neil and Braun Strowman(w) Titus gets tossed out of the ring by Kofi, and Braun Strowman hops off the apron, saunters over and picks him up to throw him back into the ring, so Jinder can make the tag. Enzo ends up in the ring with braun and Corey Graves exclaims “all my dreams are finally coming true”. Enzo pumps up the crowd before being decked by one hit from Braun. He then picks up Enzo for a running powerslam to win the match. Just as Braun is celebrating the Big Show interrupts, appearing for the first time since the Draft back in July. He and Braun have a staredown in the ring. For the first time pretty much ever, Braun looks a little apprehensive, before stepping out of the ring. He shouts he does ‘what i want, when i want, how i want’, further proving Braun Strowman is one of the best big guys WWE has ever had. The Big Show and the New Day come to talk to the announcers after their ad for the network, and the announcers look genuinely surprised. Michael Cole exclaims “he is huge’ as Big Show leaves and looks distracted.

There’s a recap of the opening segment, and at the end Byron Saxton mentions Romans quest to become a Dual Champion. I might be reading into it a little too much, but I really hope this isn’t foreshadowing or spoilers, because if it is then this will be a program probably until Mania. I doubt he’ll take the US Title back, but I really hope they don’t as that would be very boring to watch. The recap leads into the next match.

Chris Jericho(w) vs. Roman Reigns(w) for the US Title After a commercial, Kevin Owens joins the commentary table, and now I’m very excited for this match, KO is great on commentary. Jericho shouts a conversation to Kevin on the announce table about how good he is in the ring, and then Air-fives him. Owens shouts at the ref from the table after Roman kicks out, however the move that leads to it makes me think Chris might win clean. Owens becomes too worried about Jericho, and leaves the announce table to beat up Roman, disqualifying him and leaving him the winner. Owens calls for the Shark Cage (which is suspended above the ring for some reason) to be lowered, and for some reason Production complies. Corey mentions that if Roman is left in the shark cage, he might not even make it to the Royal Rumble, which is a hilarious mental image, however Roman breaks out before KO can lock the cage, and throws Owens inside, before the cage gets re-raised. Owens grabs Jericho’s hand and Jericho gets reaised with the cage, before Roman Superman punches him down.  Just as we come back from commercial, Kevin’s cage is lowered and Kevin is let out, before the ring announcer informs him that his match against Roman at the Rumble will be a No-DQ match. This is the first inkling I’ve had since the match was announced that Roman isn’t 100% locked to win, because there’s a chance Jericho can interfere and help KO. It’s still very unlikely, but it’s a possibility.

Now to match the Bayley interview, Corey Graves interview Charlotte. Mostly this is just a good promo, but Charlotte is fantastic at everything she does, and it’s a treat to watch her get fired up. The angle of Genes vs. Hard Work is a little strange to me, but it works okay to make the match happen.

Nia Jax(w) vs. Ray Lyn This is a nothing match, it’s over in under two minutes. After the match, Nia dedicates her victory to Sasha’s dead career, but Sasha has other ideas, coming down to the ring walking with a crutch. Sasha attacks Nia with the crutch, and gets her out of the ring, before landing double knees. 

Another Emmalina promo, although reportedly she’s going to debut at RAW after the Rumble, so finally we’ll see where this is heading.

Rich Swann(w) vs. Noam Dar w/ Alicia Fox They mention Rich Swann vs. Neville at the Rumble, which should be a very entertaining match in the ring at least. Noam Dar uses Alicia Fox to protect himself from a suicide dive by Rich Swann, but Rich Swann still picks up a fairly easy win. Swann calls out Neville, and jumps him out of the ring, standing tall at the end.

Backstage Noam Dar and Alicia Fox confront Cedric Alexander, and the only take away I have is that Alicia Fox has an impressively high=pitched and annoying voice.

Nia Jax vs. Sasha Banks is announced for the Royal Rumble Pre-Show, which is a fine fit for it.

Next it’s time for Goldberg. He leaves his dressing room with his head and shirt absolutely drenched for some reason, and a small cut on his head. One audience member rips his shirt open during Goldberg’s entrance, which just made me laugh.  Goldberg messes up his promo big time, but takes it in his stride and turns it around very well by lampshading it. At this point he has a thick line of blood on his forehead, and he looks badass. Paul Heyman interrupts him to introduce Brock Lesnar. Everybody acts surprised that Brock Lesnar is here, although I thought he had been advertised previously. Goldberg is still great on promo’s, and he calls Brock down to the ring before suddenly, the Undertaker’s gong hits, the lights go down and Taker is magically in the ring as the crowd goes crazy. At this point RAW goes off-air, and apparently after the camera’s stopped, the three simply left the ring with no altercation. That’s a fun stare-down to end RAW with, but it felt a little cut short, like they should have held on the three in the ring for at least a minute or so.

Overall, I think this was a fairly entertaining RAW compared to recent weeks, but something of a weak Go-Home show, as nothing much happened to further major storylines. I’d give it an 8/10 for RAW and 6.5/10 for go-home RAW.

There was some good examples of minor storytelling helping to fill out the broader strokes this week, and though I’m disappointed we didn’t get to see Triple H, I think it’s okay since he’ll likely appear at the Rumble. Tomorrow I’ll do a Smackdown recap, and later in the week I’ll bring a predictions post for the Rumble and NXT TakeOver, possibly with a quick NXT recap thrown in there as well. Then on Monday will be a recap of both TakeOver and the Royal Rumble, which will be more feelings based than analytical, as I will be watching with friends and not in a position to take notes.

Thanks if you have been reading, and if this is your first RAWcap, I hope you enjoyed it. Please feel free to leave me any feedback.