#no ik i saw that and nearly slammed my face down on my desk

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

These motherfu-

there are no peas in ba sing se

[argylemikewheeler]

sup my bro my buddy my amigo. idea: nancy being a overprotective sister of richie and mike and them just being total sibling goals

“Would you two shut up for just five goddamn minutes! I’m trying to drive!” Nancy cried, slamming her hands on the steering wheel. “I can’t focus when you two are screaming.”

“Maybe you’re just a bad driver.” Richie heckled, leaning up towards the driver’s seat. “Didn’t Steve always drive you to school?”

“I am a fine driver.” Nancy seethed. She turned on the radio to try and drown out her brother. “Sit down in your seat, Richie. I can’t do anything when you are kneeling–”

“I bet Steve says–”

“Shut up, Richie.” Mike groaned, grabbing his brother by the collar and yanking him into his seat. “You’re going to kill us.”

“We’d only be so lucky.” Richie said. “I hate this song.” Mike didn’t even know it, but it sounded like the main instrument was a flute or something.

“How far away are we, Nancy?” Mike asked, trying to redirect the conversation.

“We’ll get there when we get there!” Nancy cried, her voice shrill. “I don’t know where this fucking comic book store is and Mom gave me shit directions!”

Mike shrank back in his seat. “Sorry. I was just asking.”

“Well, until you can drive you aren’t allowed to ask anymore questions.” Nancy said.

Richie looked at Mike, who was still lowering his head from his sister’s rear-view mirror stare. “Fuck her.” He mouthed, hitting his brother in the arm. He rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue, showing exhaustion to her recent outbursts.

Richie had a thicker skin when it came to Nancy (and probably Nancy alone) but Mike was still unsure how to handle her when she was upset about things that weren’t him putting syrup on her eggs or stealing her quarters. They were bigger life things that Mike wasn’t in control of, but he was yelled at and felt responsible for. College sounded like a terrible thing.

“I’m pulling over. We need gas and I need Richie to annoy the cashier for at least five minutes.” Nancy said, turning the car into a barely-busy gas station.

“Buy me a Snickers bar and I can make it ten.” He said, grabbed the back of Nancy’s seat to put his head beside hers. She held up a dollar bill as she put the car in park beside a pump. “Solid! Let’s go Mike and Ike!”

“I wish you would stop calling me that.” Mike sighed, opening the car door and sliding off the seat. “We’ll be right back, Nancy.”

“Okay.” She said, pushing on her temples. Mike felt the urge to say something pathetically gushy to her, but he slammed the door and followed Richie instead.

“Hello my good, sir.” Richie said loudly, barely checking to see if the man standing at the register that Sunday morning was even a man.

“Nope.” The man said, taking one look at both Richie and Mike. “Get out.”

“What?”

“Excuse me.” Richie said, unfazed. “I have money to exchange for goods and or services.” He held up the dollar. “And I request a Snickers.”

“I don’t sell to people like you.”

“Like us?” Mike echoed. “Twins?” People were thrown off often, but they had never encountered a problem before. The Shining had done very little for their cause.

“I have the right to reserve service to anyone. And I don’t serve fairies.” the man said gruffly, folding his arms. “Don’t make me ask you again.”

“Fairies?” Richie echoed, touching his face. “My ears aren’t that long are they, Mikey?”

“Richie.” Mike hissed. “Don’t start with him. We don’t even know where we are; maybe people are just really… anti- hawaiian patterns.”

“Hey, I bought these Jams with my own money. I like them!” Richie ran his hands over his brightly colored shorts. “Just because they have colors on them doesn’t mean I’m gay.” Richie argued. “It’s my boyfriend who does that–”

“Richie!” Mike grabbed his arm and tried to pull him back out the door. Richie was lying, but he was saying all the right things to push the owner’s buttons. He was fuming, hand fumbling under the desk and pulling a phone to his ear.

“Don’t make me call the cops.” The man said. He could have been doing a lot worse, but Mike wasn’t about to test his luck. “Get out of my store.”

“Come on, guys! What are you doing, making the candy yourself?” Nancy said, pushing the door in and forcing the bell to clang against the glass harshly. It was the only noise as the man’s fingers hovered over the phone’s dial. Richie was practically being gagged by his brother and Mike could feel the sweat forming by his temples. “What’s going on here?”

“Are you with them?” The man asked.

“Yes. I am.” Nancy said. “What the hell did you two do?” She yanked Mike’s hand away from Richie’s mouth.

“We look gay.” Mike said, his brother still sputtering through the past two minutes of commentary. “He won’t let us buy candy.”

Nancy blinked at Mike, the tension on her face dissolving. Her eyes softened and her hands reached for both of theirs. “What candy do you want?”

“I just wanted something with fucking caramel.” Richie said, fixing his waistband and huffing at the pattern he was growing to feel insecure about. Mike could see the doubt cross his brother’s face quickly, Richie rushing to shove his glasses farther up on his face and disguise his furrowed eyebrows.

“I wanted gum.” Mike admitted.

“I would like a pack of Wrigley’s.” Nancy took the dollar from Richie and placed it on the counter. Her hand smacked against the metal surface. “And something with fucking caramel in it.”

“I am refusing service.”

“Give me the fucking candy.” Nancy grumbled. “I just paid three dollars for two gallons of gas. The least you could do is give me and my brothers some goddamn candy.”

“Don’t start threatening him, Nancy Drew. It’s okay. We can go.” Richie said, trying to explain the deadlock grimaces off Nancy and the owner’s face.

“No. We aren’t leaving until you get your candy.” She leaned her elbow on the counter, resting her chin on her hand. “I have all day.”

“I don’t serve people like them.”

“Children?” Nancy laughed, shaking her head. “Boys? Twins? Nerds?”

“Hey!”

“What about them makes them unservable?” Nancy motioned towards her brothers, Richie in his bright pants and coke bottle glasses and Mike in his old summer camp shirt and ruddy sneakers. “You can’t possibly be that ignorant.” She sighed. “Give us the damn candy so we can leave.” He opened his mouth again, although with less urgency and confidence. “Are you going to deny service to me?” She leaned back on the counter with both elbows.

The dollar was replaced with both pieces of candy.

“Fuck.” Richie muttered.

“And a pack of Lucky Strikes,” Nancy added, pointing over his shoulder. “for good looks.” She winked. The pack was handed to her with the same hand that previously held the telephone. He lost.

“Check fucking mate.” Richie laughed, grabbing the Snickers off the counter and running out the door with Nancy and Mike behind.

They all climbed back in the car, Nancy laughing as Richie bestowed half his Snickers bar to her. She denied it and pushed it towards Richie, telling him to enjoy it. He did it without being told twice.

In his chewing, Mike was able to take advantage of the silence. “Why did you take cigarettes?” He said. “You don’t smoke.”

“Yeah, I know.” Nancy was a moment away from giggling, her face flushed red. “I just always wanted to do that.”

“Who knew you were a badass?” Richie said, teeth nearly stuck together by caramel.

“Demanding to be treated equal is not being badass.” Nancy said, finally turning the car over and beginning to pull away from the station. “I’m just looking out for you guys.” Mike saw her face tense up although her words were gentle and quiet.

Oh shit. It wasn’t college, was it? Mike reached forward and touched Nancy’s shoulder, trying to catch her eyes in the rear view mirror at the red light. “We’re going to miss you, Nance.”

“I’m going to miss you guys too.” She sighed. She reached across herself to hold Mike’s hand. “I don’t want to leave, but–”

“We understand.” Richie said, surprisingly aware of the gravity of the conversation. “We want you to be happy though.”

“Thanks, Richie.” Nancy’s lips pressed together as her smile restrained from crumpling from her quivering bottom lip.

“Yeah, you’ve got to go to college and be fucking smarter than Ted.”

“That’s not hard, Richie.” Mike countered. “Dad’s kind of an idiot.”

“Well, we need you to be super smart so you can make a lot of money and we can live with you instead of Mom and Dad.” Richie said, patting Nancy’s shoulder with a wink.

“Promise?” She laughed, her eyes watering. “Move in with me?”

“Promise.”

“You’ll always be my little brothers?”

“I mean, physically we have no choice. Sure.”

“And I’m your favorite sister?”

“Holly doesn’t get us cheap candy, so, yeah.” Richie said, wrapping his arms around Nancy’s shoulders. “You’re the best there is.”

Ao3

[paisleywraith]

Curses, Curses Chapter 3

Junior year is often considered the most difficult year of high school. Kyle would agree with that on a regular day, he didn’t need some magical bullshit wriggling its fingers at him and turning him into an ass-old Bill Murray movie reboot.

Kyle woke up for the fourth time, staring at his wrist. No bracelet. He sighed, rubbing his eyes as he tried to recap the past days.

Okay. Day one, normal. Day two, repeat. Day three, freak out and start panicking and get yourself sent to a doctor. The memory of his mother crying and fussing over her poor, mentally broken child made his cheeks burn and his heart ache. He was sent to a hospital, treated like a basket case, and that was 100% the last thing he wanted.

So now what?

Concentrate. Kyle clicked off his alarm before it could go off, bringing his knees to his chest. What could he do now?

He needed to see a friendly face. Kyle scowled at the notebook in his bookbag, but sent a text to Stan first. Just to make something different.

Kyle B: I’m bringing your notebook. See you soon.

He dressed quickly, shoving a hat over his ears and not bothering to check the reply.

In the kitchen, he grabbed a granola bar and stuffed it in his bag.

“Too busy to eat breakfast, Mr President?” Ike snarked from over his omelette.

“Had a bad night, you little nerd.” Kyle lovingly snarked back, reaching to ruffle his hair and earn a thoroughly irritable squawk. “Don’t tell Ma.”

Ike stuck his tongue out at him, a childish gesture he hadn’t used in a while and only pulled out when he was in a good mood. Kyle figured he was probably safe.

He didn’t bother waiting for the car to heat up all the way before jumping in. He was even earlier than usual, but he wanted to wait by the entrance for Stan. Who’d freaked out “yesterday” and sent a million texts of terror and sympathy. He could stand to see him today.

What was he going to do? He didn’t really want to sit down through classes today. Stan would probably pass out if he suggested they skip. He might be able to skip out and go to work and meet up with Stan later.

Kyle squinted. Passed two figures holding hands on the sidewalk, and pulled over.

Kenny’s head ducked into view soon after, Karen smiling beside him.

“Get in. I’ll give you guys a ride.” Kyle offered.

Kenny had been a constant texter yesterday as well, going so far as to offer to visit him in the hospital. Kyle hadn’t wanted to talk to him when his mother was weeping over his bedside, but he remembered the consideration. Especially considering he hadn’t even seen Kenny that day. Apparently, Stan was freaking out at school and the guy had been there to calm him down. He owed him. After years of pretty much radio silence, he was still treating them like friends.

Karen whooped, letting go of her brother’s hand to pretty much leap into the backseat, opening the door with abandon. Kenny’s grin widened, and he spared his sister a glance before hopping into the car next to Kyle.

“Hi Kyle!” Karen chirped, sitting right in the middle of the backseat. “Thanks!”

“Yeah, no problem,” Kyle shifted gears again, heading towards the school. “No reason for you guys to walk in the snow.”

Karen shivered into her coat, grinning at Kyle through the rearview mirror. Funny, he used to think the McCormick siblings looked very little like one another, but there was so much Kenny in her face.

Kenny wasn’t wearing a coat, just a sweatshirt, which he absently tugged up over his lips as he smiled out the window.

Kyle almost asked how their Christmas was, but he’d already asked that. He licked his lips. He hadn’t thought this far yet. He couldn’t mention anything the past few days, of course, and couldn’t remember when the last time they hung out was. His palms were sweating he was getting nervous.

“So, Smart Stuff,” Kenny spoke up, ankle crossed over knee and gazing outside. “Whatcha at school so early for?”

“What are you two at school so early for?” Kyle challenged him, and Kenny turned with a slight smirk, ready to fight, but Karen beat him to it.

“I have tutoring in the mornings.” Karen tugged at a raggedy, hand knit scarf draped over her neck.

Oh thank God. School he could manage.

“What subject?”

“Chemistry.”

Kyle smiled. Kenny tapped his fingers against the window.

“She’s getting good grades,” Kenny was quick to pick up. “She’s doing layout stuff for the newspaper right now.”

“I saw that,” Kyle mentioned. “I saw your name on the stafflines. Do you like it?”

“It’s fun,” Karen said, meeting Kyle’s eyes again in the mirror. “The people that work there can be rude though.”

“Tell me where in the school people aren’t, I’ll actually sign up for something.” Kenny drawled, making his sister roll her eyes and smile.

Definitely a lot of Kenny in Karen, just in a different way. She was less teasing, more actually willing to offer a real answer. Yet she still had the (Kyle couldn’t think of a better word for it,) impertinence Kenny wore around everywhere he went. He hadn’t noticed the youngest McCormick lately, aside from her name popping up or smiling at her in the hallway.

Kyle pulled over in front of the school.

“All out,” He called. “I’ll park and be in later.”

“Thanks, Kyle.” Karen swung her door open, hopping on one foot to adjust a boot before darting inside.

Kenny turned to meet Kyle’s eyes. He felt himself freeze. He was far too close to Kenny, he could see the different shades of blue in his eyes, under lank, greasy bangs.

Something odd flickered in his eyes for a moment, but after a glance back in Karen’s direction, Kenny turned back around and smiled easily as normal.

“Thanks, Ky. See you later.” With a flirtatious wink, the taller boy exited the car with a cheerful wave. Kyle watched him go for a moment, then moved the car into drive without another word.

 Stan bought his excuse that he was sick, and treated him sympathetically. He chattered on about things that at least differed from the first Thursday, and Kyle half-listened in between classes. Just the familiarity of a friend was nice, helped calm him down.

Sometimes.

 Kyle poked at the food he’d bought at the cafeteria, glaring at it like it personally offended him. Stan was pretty sure he wasn’t paying attention to anything he was saying. Time for a check question.

“What do you think?”

Kyle looked up from his meal, trying to look impassive. Stan did not look amused.

“Uh-huh.” He rolled his eyes at his auburn-haired friend. “I knew you weren’t listening. Where’s your mind today, man?”

“I told you, I don’t feel well.” Kyle grumped. He stabbed a fork viciously in the mashed potatoes and looked dismayed when it stayed upright.

“You’re really on edge,” Stan commented, watching his friend. “You don’t look sick.”

Kyle shot him a look. Halfhearted, like he didn’t quite have the anger to keep it there. He sighed through his nose, going back to staring at his food.

Stan looked between Kyle and potatoes before trying to prompt his unnaturally-quiet friend to talk.

“Heard you saw Kenny today.” Stan was rewarded with Kyle’s furrowed brows easing.

“Yeah.”

Interesting. Kyle didn’t hang out with Kenny much anymore. Or anyone, really.

“How is he?”

“Seems fine,” Kyle murmured. “Gave him and Karen a ride. I think Karen will be tall, too.”

Stan frowned. That was a weird comment. He didn’t get to mention it before Kyle spoke up again.

“I don’t have any classes with Kenny.” He commented.

“We did Freshman year,” Stan recalled. “I still have a couple.” He looked at Kyle, who was looking thoughtful. “You’re in all those highbrow classes, dude. You’re boring.”

Kyle scoffed, looking more like himself for a moment. “Jerk.”

Both of them were quiet for a bit. Stan watched Cartman across the refectory, surrounded by ‘yes pals’ he picked up around the beginning of high school.

“Can you stop by the library before you go home today?”

Stan looked back at Kyle, bewildered. He caught himself before he said “what?!” or something to make Kyle retreat.

“Sure, dude.” Stan said carefully, watching his friend. Kyle nodded a couple times and said nothing.

Stan’s worry only increased.

 Work wasn’t helping him calm down.  

“Excuse me-”

“James Joyce. Over in the fictional classics. Second shelf.”

Kyle ignored the girl’s weird look entirely and went about planning.

Why couldn’t something about this benefit him? If he had to give a speech or do a test, this repetitiveness would have been helpful. He was going to become crazy really quick.

SLAM

Kyle nearly jumped out of his fucking skin.

He looked up to nearly touch noses with a grinning Kenny McCormick. He jumped a second time, jerking the rolling chair back.

He was still so close he could see the damn eyelashes on Kenny’s face and a hint of freckles. Kenny’s grin widened as Kyle was startled speechless.

“What’s up, cutie?” Kenny’s eyes were sparking with humor. “You’re awful jumpy. You work at a library, Ky, not a jewelry store. I doubt you get many robberies.”

“Oh, shut up.” Kyle found his tongue again. “It is a library, I don’t have a lot of people beating my desk up.” He shoo’d Kenny off from leaning over it. Stan popped up behind the tall blond. “So you brought this thing along, huh?” He tried not to let the affection bleed through the words, but it was a losing battle.

“Hey, you looked down,” Stan pointed out with a poorly-hidden smile. He looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. “Kenny’s good for a morale boost.”

“Damn right, Stanny-boy.” Kenny flashed him a grin before going back to leaning over Kyle’s desk. “But I have work in twenty minutes, so I won’t be in your curly little locks for long, Kyle.”

Kyle brushed the curls escaping from under his hat self-conciously without thinking about it, but he couldn’t help the slight curl of his lips.

“You guys are just-” He shook his head, unable to keep the smile off his lips any longer. “Fine. Just lower your voices.”

There was something very comforting about having the two here, Stan with his hands in his jacket pockets and a beaming smile and Kenny leaning on his desk, eyes all different colors of blue like a crazy mosaic. Kyle may almost be an adult, but this comfort was sorely needed. He felt a rush of affection for them both.

“So what can I help you assholes with?” Kyle asked with all the love in his heart.

             Kyle drew four long lines on his arm before clicking his lamp off. One for each day he’d lived through. He was hoping, desperately, that whatever reset he had didn’t apply to his own body.

           He’d spent his time after his friends left and at home trying to do research, apply logic to this all. He didn’t have any regrets he needed righting, he didn’t have anyone he particularly hated (And if the universe was trying to get him to reconcile with Eric the whole universe could suck it because that wasn’t happening.) He was content with his life, headed towards his future. So why a roadblock?

           Kyle pressed his lips together, reaching for his phone.

           Kyle B: Hey Kenny?

           To be honest, he didn’t really have a reason to be reaching out. No real question. Just a need for another voice in his head that wasn’t his own, and Stan was already worried over him.

           Kenny M: wassup homeskillet

           Kyle closed his eyes to keep from rolling them, lips twitching.

           Kyle B: You’re ridiculous.

           Kenny M: u kno u love me

           Kyle B: You and Karen want a ride to school tomorrow, jackass?

           Kenny took his time answering. Kyle fidgeted. He’d just looked for something to say, he didn’t mean for it to be- that was cool, right? Just offering to give a ride?

           Blip!

           Kyle nearly punched himself in the face in his haste to open the message.

           Kenny M: sure

           Kyle B: I usually leave at seven.

           Kenny M: works 4 us

           Kyle gave his phone a pale smile. Okay. Well. Guess he was picking them up tomorrow.

           Kyle B: See you tomorrow, Kenny.

           Kenny M: ;)

           Kyle kept his phone in his hands, jaw locked as he stared at the ceiling. Please. Just let this day pass.