#no one can deny that theo would have a food play kink

[nafeary]

Theodorus Van Gogh’s Reaction to MC majoring in Pastry Arts

✧✎ A/N: Requested by: @cidylee

Usually, I would have gone with a major considering his art involvement, but I want these headcanons to be FLUFFY which didn’t work out too well with Arthur’s. I need insurance that I won’t step into angst territory, so sugar and spice are the perfect barricades, right? RIGHT??

Others in this series: [Arthur] [Isaac]

But I also wanted to write about Theo utterly falling in love with a three-star hondje MC to the hilt. Theo/Pastry Chef, y’all¿? So here ya go, I hope you like it 😗😗😗

And once again Warning: slightly, teeny, tiny, itsy bitsy suggestive theme at the end

A Little Trivia: The Dutch holiday Koningsdag (King’s Day) used to be named Prinsessedag, and later on Koninginnedag. Also, a Mille-Feuille can also be called napoleon (note the lowercase), although I believe it is slightly different.

It was barely one in the afternoon, and Theodorus Van Gogh had a massive and excruciating headache

Why, you ask?

Exhibit A: At stupid o’clock, King had awoken him in a haphazard manner, expressing the necessity to take a walk

Alas, their excursion had been delayed by the inclement weather, thus his furry companion felt inclined to fulfill his wish. On. His. Godforsaken. Carpet.

Exhibit B: With his mood deteriorating, he fortunately found a beguiling, albeit dry-looking, stack of pancakes on his breakfast table, no doubt courtesy of the human butler

Naive to the fact that a certain detective was watching from the shadows and that the pancakes were, in fact, not made by the wonted human butler, he lifted a piece to let it melt on his lips... and they were not good

Instead of a sweet and fluffy crumb doused in a lake of slightly salted syrup, a dam of morbid repellence seemed to explode in his mouth - as if the cakes were made with salt instead of sugar

“ARTHUR!!!”

Exhibit C: On top of all his misfortune, his brother was on his way to Shakespeare, that everlasting creep. This was enough to sour his grimace e’en further

And yet, as weird as his day started, it suddenly became almost suspiciously perfect

After barricading himself for the whole morning, he went to his room to find King snuggly asleep? With his carpet sans the odor? How?

Additionally, he stumbled upon Vince on his merry way to grab a cup of coffee

Ostensively, the storm raging France was too severe for sunflower boi™️ to visit stabbing kink guy™️

“Broer... will you come for a cup of coffee with me?” he legitimately seemed upset, so he swiftly agreed

As they entered the kitchen, a scent that could only be described as ethereal blinded the brothers’ senses, rendering them speechless

It smelt utterly delicious

“Ah! Theo! Vince!”

“Hondje? What are you doing?”

Your eyes widened in surprise, albeit seemingly caught in the act, to see them, like a puppy discovered to have destroyed another pair of shoes

“This was supposed to be a surprise, but I might as well tell you... I’m making you two some tompouces, to celebrate King’s Day.”

“Celebrate what?”

She pushed some flat, rectangular dough pieces into the stove, chortling lightly, “I’m sorry, Sebastian mentioned that it wasn’t always called “King’s Day”. I meant the “Princess’ Day”.”

Vincent nodded assuringly, “I’m certain you mean Prinsessedag. It was quite new during our life... I’ve never heard of a tompouce, however.”

Your eyes promptly lit up, zeal apparent in your lambent orbs, brighter than any paintings he’d ever seen.

“They’re like a napoleon—“

“Napoleon?”

“Not our Napoleon, like a Mille-Feuille. They’re puff pastry filled with this decadent custard and an orange icing on top-“

As you chattered away with his brother, he noticed a bowl by your side with a heavenly scent exuding from it. Stealthily, he coated his fingertip with some of the flaxen substance

AND OH MY GOD

While Sebastian’s dishes tasted flavourous, this was scrumptiously divine

Light, yet rich in flavor, the vanilla aroma fulminated across his tongue, aided by the creamy texture that could melt even under the strongest of resistances, basking his body in a soothing atmosphere—

“So how is my custard, Theo?” you smirked at the stoic Dutchman

“...decent enough.”

Your smirtled aura vanished, replaced by a brooding scowl. He internally snickered, satisfied by your reaction.

“I spent years studying pastry art, only for you to tell me “decent enough“,” your voice contorted, obviously trying to imitate his tone.

And yet, Theo couldn’t help but let surprise fall across his visage. “You’re a pastry chef, knabbletje?”

And thus, you told him (still rather disdainfull) of your years in college. Alongwhile, Vincent excused himself, returning to his drafts. Natheless, his younger brother chose to stay a little while longer, an idea forming in his head.

Dexterously, he dipped his finger into the cool cream once again, complaints already flying from your lips, “Will you stop taking all the— oh!”

But those quickly died again

Because Theo had swiped some onto your neck, brushing away your gossamer strands in process, nibbling in content at your sweet spot. Heat was already starting to core itself, gripping the counter in desperation.

“T-Theo, I still have to finish the tompouces...”

Alas, he disregarded your words completely.

“I believe I’ve found a brilliant way to put this... degree of yours to good use, hondje.”

...Food Play Theo y’all!!!🥵

Whose reaction do y’all want next?

[Arthur] [Isaac]

[ikevamp-shrine]

What are the Ikevamp boy’s fetish/kink?

Characters: Sebastian, Shakespeare, Isaac, Dazai, Arthur, Napoleon, Jean, Comte, Leonardo, Mozart, Theo, Vincent

Warning: sexual content, NSFW, mentions of pain, weapons, and bondage

Sebastian: role play/ Interfemoral Sex

He would %150 be down for role playing: master of the mansion and guest, butler and maid/butler, childhood friends, teacher and student, honestly he is for it all

Loves to pretend to be Napoleon (though he would rather die than say it out loud)

Absolutely loves to have interformal sex (thrusting between someone’s thighs without penetration)

He feels as if his soul leaves his body when soft thighs wrap around and squeeze his cock and he can’t get enough of it

Shakespeare: knife play/ sadism (we all saw it coming)

Who wouldn’t love envolving their favorite weapon with their sexy time?

He loves the way his partner shudders with... fright, anticipation, ecstasy? Honest he doesn’t know, but he loves it.

The sight of a silver, shining blade gliding gently across his love’s smooth skin, never breaking the plush flush, sends him higher and higher each moment.

Loves to witness the sight of pain turning into pleasure wipe itself across his lover’s face.

He doesn’t know why but he adores the thought of harming the person he cares for, for sexual pleasure on both sides

Isaac: electrostimulation/ choking

How knew the small, gentle, and easily flustered boi would be a freak in the sheets?

And just to add onto his hightened hunger and rough tendencies Isaac has a ball when it comes to electricity (electrostimulation is the act of applying electrical stimulation to sensitive parts of the body)

Small shocks that cause a tiny muscle spasm, big shocks that cause his lover’s eye to roll back and them to moan loudly in pleasure, um check please

He also partakes in the activity of choking his companion (of course in a safe manner) 

Basically any act of sex that he is in control, he loves it

Dazai: impact play/ deprivation

Whips, paddels, and belts... oh my!

Of course he doesn’t like the idea of harming his lover so he spends many hours finding new fatty spots that only cause sensations of pleasure when hit

The sound of flesh being hit, slapped, or wiped is music to his ears

Deprivation is something he quite enjoys

Whether it’s to himself or to others, the thought and act of having to rely on your other senses and enhancing them during sex sends his mind whirling

From ear plugs to blind folds he has it all

Arthur: orgasm denial/ dirty talk

Now this boy is a nasty little freak

He absolutely freaks out over denying his partner the act of orgasming

He’ll keep his partner on the edge for how ever long he deems necessary always being right there but never allowed to crash over the edge 

You’ll never hear anyone talk as much dirty talk as this man

Forget sweet talk, nah, he likes the nitty, gritty, dirty, freaky talk that makes anyone’s face immediately flush as red as a ripe tomato

Napoleon: Agoraphilia/ impact play (specifically spanking)

Most people wouldn’t think that the previous emperor of France would be such a kinky boi

Agoraphilia (preference for having sex in public places or outdoors) always gets his blood pumping with excitement

The thought of being possibly caught in the act rials him up so much to the point he doesn’t know what to do with himself

Living room, dining room, kitchen (sorry sebastian), garden, against the gates surronding the mansion... Mozart’s piano, he’ll do it anywhere

Spanking is a big thing for him

Especially on the butt (naughty boi)

Jean: humiliation/ masochism

He’s a good little (christian, catholic?) boi so the idea of having sex before putting a ring on it makes him feel guilty

So to put his mind somewhat at easy he likes to be humiliated by his partner

He also likes to let his partner be in control and cause pain to him for pleasure

It’s not necessarily a healthy way to deal with his feeling and emotions but it helps so he does it anyway

Sometimes gets frustrated with himself so he’ll take control in bed and destroy his lover

Comte: voyeurism/ sensation play

Can you say kinky freak #2?

Like honestly

Voyeurism (getting sexual pleasure from watching others get it on) is something he is not exactly proud of... but it gets him all hot and bothered

When ever his partner plays with themselves his raging boner will put any man to shame

Doesn’t like it when other people touch what is his... besides Leonardo

Sensation play is something this man can not live without

He says it brings sex from a 3 to an 11

Leonardo: dominance/ age play

This man is freaking dominate

Though he doesn’t object to his sexy time companion taking control it usually doesn’t last long cause he is just naturally the dominant in any situation

 He completely destroys anyone who hops in his bed and not just with his massive, long, thick, Italian sausage lol.

Age play is something he doesn’t exactly do very often, but when ever his companion looks up at him with wide, innocent eyes, and talks in a higher pitch, younger voice he almost can’t control himself

(age play does not mean he looks at little girls and boys and thinks- oh they’re hot!) (it is just purely when his partner acts younger or older than what they actually are) (I was honestly scared to put age play because some people think it is wrong. Which is okay because everyone is entitled to their own opinion- I just think the mother of the mansion would like age play)

Mozart: Quirofilia/ temperature play

His overwhelming attraction to hands is something that has never made sense to him (Quirofilia is the attraction to hands)

He believes it has something to do with his slight germaphobia (visually appealing objects tend to trick the mind into thinking the object is cleaner than what it probably is)

He likes clean nails, smooth palms, long, slender fingers for the visual part, but when the physical part comes in (aka touching) he goes crazy for when he gets gripped, palmed, and traced with his lover’s fingers and hands

Temperature play is also something he can’t get enough of

To see the physical reactions (goose bumps, marks, etc.) that are caused by the fluctuation of temperature sends him flying

Theo: food play/ puppy play (I mean come on, of course I had to say puppy play)

Syrup everywhere

Sebastian is always pissed at him on laundry day because syrup and other food stains are incredible hard to remove from clothing, bedsheets, and curtains (how?)

Theo is not one to hide his love for food so of course he is going to bring his one of his most favorite things into the bedroom 

He’ll use any food besides fish just because he can’t stand the smell

syrup, pancakes, and other sauces are his favorite

(Do I really need to go in detail for puppy play?)

Pet names, collars, walking on hands and knees- freaking doggy style- and whining makes him feel like the most powerful man in the world and he frequently practices this type of play

Vincent: wax play/ body painting

Now Vincent never thought of using candle wax during his midnight activities but once his partner introduced it to him, he couldn’t get enough

He loves to see the way it drips through the air onto his lover’s skin and his mind goes into a ecstasy filled frenzy when he feels the slight burning sensation on his skin

Body painting is also something he quite enjoys

Though he doesn’t use regular paint to paint their bodies. No honey, no. He specially makes his paint. 

Scented oils and skin-friendly pigment he makes himself (had to ask Leonardo his thoughts on how to make it and Arthur on what is safe to be put on skin which Arthur has never let him live down because who would have thought this sunshine boi would be partaking in sensual activities using paint)

He puts a lot of time and effort into making sure his lover is completely safe and gives consent to everything they do during their naughty time

[sanguisfulgur]

✩ - Exactly What You Hate

The Ultimate Relationship Tag Send ‘✩’ for the following:

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? CiceroWho threatens to leave but never actually does? TheoWho actually keeps their word and leaves? CiceroWho trashes the house? TheoDo either of them get physical? Both of them.How often do they argue/disagree? Well all couples bicker but serious arguments happen rarely, they just get NASTY when they do. Who is the first to apologise? Shockingly Theo. 

Sex:

Who is on top? Theo usually.Who is on the bottom? Well obviously Cicero. Who has the strangest desires? They’re both old af vampires I don’t think anything is weird to them now. Any kinks? How long do you have because the list is long as hell. Who’s dominant in bed? Both but definitely moreso THEO. Is head ever in the equation? Always.If so, who is better at performing it? They both probably think they are lol. Ever had sex in public? YES Who moans the most? CiceroWho leaves the most marks? They never last long but Theo.Who screams the loudest? CiceroWho is the more experienced of the two? Again, they’re both old as hell vampires.Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? Both.Rough or soft? RoughHow long do they usually last? Long enough that a human would’ve probably died from exhaustion. Is protection used? No, it’s not needed. Does it ever get boring? Nope. Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? I don’t even want to think about where these two have done the nasty. Because where HAVEN’T they done it. 

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? It hasn’t come up yet.If so, how many children do your muses want/have? Ditto.Who is the favorite parent? Think it would depend on the kid in question.Who is the authoritative parent? Theo. Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Cicero.Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? Cicero.Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? Both.Who goes to parent teacher interviews? BothWho changes the diapers? I imagine this usually comes down to a coin toss.Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? They take turnsWho spends the most time with the children? Both of them would try to spend equal time with them. Who packs their lunch boxes? TheoWho gives their children ‘the talk’? BothWho cleans up after the kids? Both, but most likely Theo because Cicero weasels his way out of it. Who worries the most? Considering the past loss of a child, surprisingly Theo. Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? Cicero. 

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? Both.Who is the little spoon? Cicero.Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? BOTH OF THEM. Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?  Again, both of them. How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? Probably depends on the day, the temperature, the grip the other has ect. Who gives the most kisses? CiceroWhat is their favourite non-sexual activity? Oh man I’m going to say cooking together (or going out to dinner) or Theo playing piano whilst Cicero gets to listen. Where is their favourite place to cuddle? In bed. Who is more likely to playfully grope the other?  THEO. How often do they get time to themselves? Pretty often I’d say?

Sleeping:

Who snores? Not often, but Theo. If both do, who snores the loudest? See above.Do they share a bed or sleep separately? Share.If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? here is much cuddling happening which they will deny. Who talks in their sleep? CiceroWhat do they wear to bed? Underwear or nothing. Are either of your muses insomniacs? No.Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? Probably not?Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? They’re tangled dumbs. Who wakes up with bed hair? Both of them. Who wakes up first? Cicero, but Theo wakes up pretty soon after. Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? Theo does or Cicero. What is their favourite sleeping position? Probably spooning. Who hogs the sheets? CICERODo they set an alarm each night? No, their poor vampire ears. Can a television be found in their bedroom? I… honestly don’t know. Maybe at Theo’s place? Who has nightmares? BOTH. Who has ridiculous dreams? Cicero probably.Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Theo omg. Who makes the bed? Theo.What time is bed time? Probably soon after they’re both up. Any routines/rituals before bed? Cicero takes off his ‘face’ (as in makeup), Theo tends to read a little and I’ll state the obvious: they fuck. Often. Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? Cicero purely based on how he fusses over his appearance in the morning. 

Work:

Who is the busiest? TheoWho rakes in the highest income? It probably changes each month. Are any of your muses unemployed? No but they’re not exactly ‘employed’ either. Who takes the most sick days? Neither of them have employers so. Who is more likely to turn up late to work? Same as above. Who sucks up to their boss? Neither. What are their jobs? Theo… ahem… specialises in blackmail and bribery. Cicero is a little computer scam artist. Who stresses the most? Theo.Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? Definitely enjoy.Are your muses financially stable? Yup. 

Home:

Who does the washing? Both.Who takes out the trash? TheoWho does the ironing? Both. Who does the cooking? Both.Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? NeitherWho is messier? They’re both neat but probably Cicero by a smidge. Who leaves the toilet roll empty?Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? Unless they’re about to screw, neither. Who forgets to flush the toilet? Neither.Who is the prankster around the house? Cicero probably omg. Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? TheoWho mows the lawn? TheoWho answers the telephone? CiceroWho does the vacuuming? TheoWho does the groceries? BothWho takes the longest to shower? CiceroWho spends the most time in the bathroom? Cicero

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? Nope.How many cars do they own? Not sure, I know Theo owns several.Do they own their home or do they rent? Own.Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? I’d say closer to the coast. Do they live in the city or in the country? City.Do they enjoy their surroundings? Absolutely. What’s their song? Flesh by Simon Curtis tbh. What do they do when they’re away from each other? A lot of things like??? Their jobs, read, interact with other people, shop, do whatever they want/have to do y’know??Where did they first meet? I’m… terrible and can’t actually remember I need to read their first threads again. How did they first meet? It was not pleasant because ROMAN and GERMANIAN. Who spends the most money when out shopping? CiceroWho’s more likely to flash their assets? CICEROWho finds it amusing when the other trips over? omg they both probably do.Any mental issues? A TRUCKLOAD. Who’s terrified of bugs? Neither?Who kills the spiders around the house? Neither, the spiders are left in peace or shooed outside. Their favourite place? Honestly probably some high-end restaurant or the theatreWho pays the bills? Sometimes they slit but usually Theo spoils Cicero. Do they have any fears for their future? Probably a lot, they both have a lot of issues. Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Theo is. Who uses up all of the hot water? Cicero. Who’s the tallest? TheoWho’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? Theo, not that Cicero minds. Who wanders around in their underwear? Cicero because he has pretty lingerie that must be shown of. Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? Cicero??What do they tease each other about? EVERYTHING. Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? Neither because they both have the most excellent tastes in their opinions. Do they have mutual friends? Probably by now. Who crushed first? Well it started as hate sex but, Theo was the first one to acknowledge and admit it was becoming something more. Any alcohol or substance related problems? No, they both like a drink but it’s not easy to get them drunk. Annbbd I wouldn’t be surprised i they’d both dabbled in hardcore drugs in the past. Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? NeitherWho swears the most? Cicero, Theo surprisingly doesn’t swear often.