#no one has ever accused lexi of being emotive but I think there's something to be said about their unflappability

[cursedcorn]

HOW ARE YOU COLOR CODED?

YELLOW CODED

yellow, a study in wildfires, honeycombs, and summer rain. everyone sees you smiling and laughing, happy in all the ways but the way that you know is true to you. everyone believes that nothing bad could happen to you, that you live life so freely that you'd never miss a beat, even if something bad DID happen to happen around or to you. but you're as miserable as the rest of them. you might be warm and gentle, when you need to be, but at the end of the day, you have long since accepted that fire is like you: best to be admired but never touched.

TAGGED BY: stolen

TAGGING: be gay do crimes

[maddiemccarthy]

WHO: Madison & Ben ( @benpucker​)

WHEN & WHERE: Saturday, Feb 22; Madison’s apt

WARNINGS: None, except a lil sadness

Uncertainty was not a feeling Madison was accustomed to. She was the person with the plan, always confident in what came next. Ben, of course, had been a wrench in all her plans since the day she met him. But she'd made room for him, adapted to him, all while listening to people say why she shouldn't. But this incident with Puck had left her with too many questions. Was it because it was Puck? Was Kitty right from the get go that being with Ben had all been a by product of baby brain? Was it like he said it was and just a bad moment? The knock at her door shook her from her thoughts. Seeing Ben on the other side, she shook her head as she answered it. "Your key still works, you know."

Ben didn’t know what Madison was thinking and that’s what scared him the most. He didn’t usually know what she was thinking but usually it didn’t matter. This mattered. There was a light knock on his end, “I wasn’t sure if I was allowed to use it,” He shrugged, “Where’s Gabe?” If he was going to at least be here, he would take advantage of seeing him.

She stepped aside to let him in, sighing quietly as she felt the awkwardness in the air settling in. "He's down for a nap, has a big movie night with Alex later so he needs his rest," Madison joked. "But he'll probably be up before you leave, I think." Her hands rested on the back of one of the kitchen chairs, looking after him. "You want a drink or anything?"

“I’m gonna wanna see him if he gets up, if not, I’ll just have to watch him sleep,” He was content either way. Ben shook his head, “I know where everything is,” If he wanted something, he’d get it himself. “So are we gonna talk or what?” Small talk wasn’t gonna do then any good.

"I'm not keeping you from him," she insisted quickly. Despite any other uncertainty, Ben had always done right by Gabe. She chewed at the inside of her lip and moved to sit down, gesturing at the chair opposite her for him to join.  "Why'd you say it?" Madison asked. "Why did you have to say the absolute meanest thing possible?"

It didn't matter if she was keeping him from him or not, Gabe was quite literally in need of Madison every few hours. He had to be with her. "I never said you were," Ben sat down, following her lead. "I don't know, I was mad. It's not like I went into an argument with him knowing that I wanted to say that," He already told her his reasons, he didn't feel like getting reprimanded for this again, "I guess not saying things off the tip of my tongue is a huge work in progress." He felt remorse for what he said, but it wasn't like Puck would let him apologize.

She couldn't help the roll of her eyes when he said it was a work in progress. "Is it? Because I feel like the entire time I've been around you, you're always dealing with what came off the tip of your tongue or you didn't have the common sense not to delete out of a text," she huffed. "Being impulse control and cleaning up your messes shouldn't be the main thing I do as your girlfriend. And yet..."

He didn't know what she wanted him to say, she was right. He was always dealing with that, "I'm passionate when it comes to my kids and yeah, that can sometimes be a bad thing. A lot of the time, I guess," Yeah he wasn't perfect, but neither was she, "I know that shouldn't be the main thing, babe, I know that. You don't deserve having to deal with all that, and I'm sorry that you have," Ben sighed, debating if he should bring up what he had noticed, "But I also shouldn't have to be concerned about you flirting with Puck, Madison."

"Being passionate about your kids isn't a pass to be a jerk to people," Madison pointed out. "It's not like it's just Puck and Peyton either. You told Kitty once that she was a bad friend because she hadn't come to visit me after Gabe was born. What's your excuse for that?" Her lips pursed when he brought up flirting with Puck. It was irrelevant as far as she was concerned, but not untrue. "It was just a bunch of silly texts," she argued, downplaying it plenty. "It's not like anything was ever going to happen there."

"I'm not doing it on purpose. I know that's not an excuse, I just have a hard time expressing myself, I guess," He wasn't trying to defend his actions. He just had a hard time explaining himself too, apparently. "Yea cause you deserved support after Gabe was born. Kitty's not nice to me either." It was a mutual hatred or something, "It doesn't matter that nothing was going to happen. How would it make you feel if I was texting someone and flirting? Or telling them they'd look hot in a prison uniform or whatever. Do you know how that makes me feel?"

"And yet you don't do anything about it except beg me to proof red you texts to get Peyton off your back!!" she pointed out. "Kitty's not nice to anyone. She's one my best friends and she's still not that nice to me. She's just... Kitty. Supporting me and visiting me aren't the same thing. Maybe you should talk to me and see if I'm feeling unsupported by my friend before you go and accuse her of something like that? But you wouldn't really know how friendship works, would you? Mr. 'I don't need anyone but you and my kids.'" She wiped a hand over her face. This was going nowhere. "I mean, technically I didn't say he'd look hot in a prison uniform. I was actually discouraging him against coming for you again. So, y'know, you're welcome. But fine, whatever. Point made."

“Because sometimes I don’t understand why Peyton is mad in the first place,” He admitted, some things with Peyton confused him. “Look next time that won’t happen. I’m sorry that I did that and it upset you.” If this was how this conversation was going to go, he’d just have to keep saying he was sorry. He couldn’t right his wrongs at this point. “Look, I’m not perfect,” He repeated, “I’m a fucking idiot, I know that. But I really really care about you, babe. I know my actions weren’t right but I have good intentions. I love you.”

She scoffed at his claim of good intentions. Maybe it was true in the instance of Kitty, but the rest of it? The only intention she could see what Ben getting what Ben wanted. "I'm just tired, Ben. I'm tired of feeling more like your mom than your girlfriend. I'm tired of being the entirety of your emotional support because you alienate yourself from the entire town. And I know you keep saying next time and you won't do it again and everything else. I want to believe you. But nothing changes."

“Okay,” He wasn’t sure what she wanted to hear from him, it seemed like she was set on what she wanted...whatever that was. “You deserve to rest too, and not have to fight my battles for me.” She shouldn’t have to do that anymore.  “I’m really trying here. Peyton won’t let me see Lexi still and I’m not pushing her about it. I’ve really tried to be good with my words,” Maybe that wasn’t enough, though. “I know you’re pissed but like I do hope we can work this out and be okay again.”

Madison ran a hand back through her hair, tugging it gently in frustration. Part of her had hoped that talking about it would ease her mind, change her mind. That everything would just feel right again. But it didn't. "I want us to be okay again too. You and me and Gabe. But I think I need a break from the you and me part for a little bit."

That wasn't something he was expecting, wow. Were they breaking up? Yeah, they were, right? "What does that mean for us?" He knew what it meant, but there was more to it than just taking a break. They lived together, they had a baby.

"It means there isn't an us right now," she told him, her voice gentle. He wasn't fighting her on it, at least not yet. Maybe there was hope for him learning to hold his tongue. "It means we'll figure out you seeing Gabe often. Like at least the daycare thing every day. And then if you want your mom off your back about being at her house... finding some place else to live."

"Okay," He nodded, understanding what she was saying, "As long as I'm seeing him, I'll figure everything else out. I'll get some place to live before the end of the month," He added, "But you just gotta promise me that you won't give up on us yet, okay?" He wasn't going to give up so soon. He'd fight for her.

Madison reached across the table, squeezed gently at his hand and then pulled away again. "Let's just take it on step at a time, okay?" she suggested. She held hope for them figuring it out, for her getting past this uncertainty in her head, but she wasn't one to make promises unless she knew she could follow through. "You wanna see if Gabe is up?"

He almost coiled his hand back when her hand touched his, but he didn't. He didn't want her to think that this was the end. "Sure," He said, complying with her wish. At least he'd still get to see Gabe. That's what mattered the most."Yeah, I do," He smiled, picturing the thought of getting to see his son, "That kid can nap."

She cocked her head towards the hallway. "Go, no rush on leaving him," Madison told him, content to let Ben have time with their son. Not fighting made it all the more easier, didn't it? She pushed away from the table, getting up and going to busy herself with tidying the kitchen. Anything to end the conversation.

[voightsgirl]

Your Voight post made me think, and I think CPD doesn't get enough appreciation re: how they seem to effortlessly go against a lot of toxic masculinity. Like, there's been any issues with the guys crying or expressing their love for each other, and it's never made into a joke or followed with a no homo reaction or smthn like that and idk I guess I really appreciate the male friendships in CPD. Even the rest of the franchise doesn't do so well as this imo (not counting justice bc it's still new)

You know I started replying to this and then I realised that I’ve never really thought about the male characters in that much depth…I’m the first to sing about how amazing Erin and Burgess are, as well as male characters individually, but when I really thought about how well the men have been created, I ended up with an entire essay so apologies it’s so long but I just love this show and these guys. Also since there’s been a lot of negativity in light of *cough* recent events, I thought it would be nice to show my appreciation, so here goes. Feel free to add examples/contradictions/points/other ideas etc!!

Something I need to say before beginning: I find it really, really difficult to empathise with male characters. It’s just harder for me to really relate to their issues. And I think a huge reason for this is just that being a female character in these shows and these professions is just harder. And therefore there are a certain amount of fundamental difficulties that each female character has to face, and since being a female in general involves a lot of these struggles, it’s much easier for other women to look at these characters and see themselves in them. Look at Erin and Burgess struggling to keep their hard work and intelligence a more valuable feature to their unit than their bodies. Look at April and Maggie trying not to be undermined by their male, more qualified co-workers - and Manning being a single, working mum. Look at Gabby beating the odds and becoming a firefighter even though no one thinks she can do it because she’s small and female.

And I love that this show can do that: take these vital professions and give them amazing, well developed, multifaceted female characters whose constant struggles are so relatable for any female watching because we’ve all been there.

But what PD does that I just don’t see so much in the others (Fire does it to an extent, but I can’t really think of any examples in Med - although it’s my least favourite and so I’m probably not the best person to make analyses based on it, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) is do the same with the males. And it’s something that I have never seen on a TV show before. There’s no “no-homo” bullshit, there’s no reservations around being friends. They hug each other when they’re worried about them, they do the friendly shoulder squeezes and arm-punches and fist-bumps. They go out for drinks together. They trust each other and look out for each other and they talk to each other about how they feel. And it’s really, really nice to see.

People go the extra mile when writing female characters (although admittedly, as a teenage girl I’m probably not using the widest sample range of TV shows) because they know that either a) their audience is mostly female, or b) they’re worried about sexist accusations. Women have always been victims of horrible media tropes, so I’m so, so glad that they do go this extra mile - I love seeing female friendships more than anything else in the world - but because people are so aware of the issue surrounding female characters, they’ve taken that into consideration, while assuming that there isn’t actually a problem with their male characters.

What Chicago PD does that I think is incredible from a characterisation point of view is they take these archetypal cop characters - the dirty cop (Voight), the by-the-book cop (Antonio), the shell-shocked veteran cop (Halstead), the old-cop young cop (Ruzek and Ollinsky) and the gentle giant (Attwater). **there are more, such as Attwater arguably being the “token minority” and Ruzek being the “fair cop” but you get the idea. They all seem to represent one of the main tropes that are almost always present in cop shows (at least all the ones I’ve watched).

And the show doesn’t subvert the tropes, not exactly - even though doing so would be so much easier - but they three-dimensialise (idk if that’s a word just roll with me here) all the characters on top of these fundamental archetypes. ie:

Voight is a dirty cop. He kills people in the name of justice, he’s used dirty money and lied under oath and done things that probably should have lost him his badge a million times. And yet, he works tirelessly for the protection of his city. He loves his son with everything he has, and his grandson, and his daughter-in-law. He took in a 13(?) year old who’d been hooked on heroin and arrested for solicitation and loves her like she’s his own daughter. He made amends with the guy who put his son in jail. He always, always fights for the underdog and doesn’t let the system take advantage of them. He treats his unit as if they are his “family” - literally his words - and he has formed relationships with every single one of them, bending the rules and putting his neck and badge on the line if they ever do anything wrong or against the rules. (Example: 3x05)

Antonio plays by the rules, that’s just who he is. He believes in the system more than Voight does, arguably because he’s always been on the right side of it. But that doesn’t mean he’s not willing to make compromises if those he really cares about are on the line - he is more than willing to turn a blind eye to other people’s ‘interpretations’ of the law, and he will do everything in his power to fight his way using the rules of the system before he breaks them. (1x02, 3x01)

Halstead’s military history I think is one of the most interesting aspects of this show because he had the potential to turn into a “cold sniper” as I think is the norm with ex-military characters, and yeah, he was affected in ways that we don’t even know - and may never fully understand - by what he saw and did in his tour(s). But he’s so selfless and sweet and supportive. His PTSD and general commitment issues mean that he can’t open up to everyone but he still lets them open up to him, being Erin’s #1 supporter, and he’s finally started to work on looking after his mental health properly and learning how to ask for help. He’s kind and caring and understands the importance of sacrifice and, like Voight, is willing to bend the rules a little bit - even if he’s always there to question Voight’s methods. (3x17, 4x18 - deleted scene)

Ruzek is the token rookie of the show, and the audience is placed in the same boat as him when initially learning the ropes of the unit and how everyone fits. He’s the young and attractive one (I mean….), and he does exhibit those typical rookie traits: he’s rash and reckless and cocky and definitely not as cynical as any of the others, but at the same time he has a huge heart, he’s sweet and caring, and he can be as tough as hell when someone he loves is in danger. He doesn’t have the “tortured romantic” side to him and he has a typical cop family tree, but he’s the person I feel like most people can probably relate to - someone who puts themselves in harm’s way every single day for no reason other than he wants to make a difference. (1x01, 1x11)

Ollinsky is the other dirty cop, although he functions more as an assistant to the dirty cop. He has the tough coldness about him that you would probably expect Jay to have instead, if following these tropes by the book, and he comes across as very sinister and quite scary. And yet he is an absolute darling around Lexi and Michelle and when Lexi died and Meredith was kidnapped, he totally lost control. Despite all the coldness and being closed-off he is perhaps the most emotional of them all, grieving and crying and not caring about how tough he is when someone he loves is threatened. (4x16)

Attwater is the gentle giant of the show and although this doesn’t need much more explaining, he, alongside Erin, is also the token minority of the unit (even more so now that Antonio’s left and Burgess has joined Erin in Intelligence) and although this trope is constantly seen as a bad thing, using a token character to avoid criticism of being racist in casting choices, in PD Attwater opens the door to addressing cases of police racism, corruption and brutality against ethnic minorities, and the episodes in which they do deal with this, Attwater is quick to express his opinion on the matter and challenge within seconds everything that’s wrong with the institution and their society. But on top of all that, he has relatives in prison, he’s expected to be a big tough “scary black man”, but in actuality he looks after his two younger siblings and does stand-up comedy and probably gives the best bear hugs ever.

And the support system that these six men have together (or five, now that Antonio’s left) is incredible to watch. They understand barriers, they know when to push and when to give each other space, they all work together so well in such a potentially toxic environment without even a hint at this hyper-masculinity that is so huge in other cop shows. They’re all just bros.

What’s also great is that even though there’s a lil bit of that bro-masculine culture especially when Erin goes undercover and dresses up all nice, they’re never anything but perfect gentlemen. There’s no teasing and no sexist remarks about her legs or whatever, they all just seem genuinely impressed by how pretty she looks and how well she does her job. Adam even says things like “there’s about a thousand things I could say right now but won’t” because they all respect Erin and Burgess and support them as much as each they do each other. They don’t care if the women do better jobs than them, or save them, or shoot more accurately than them, and they’d never dream of undermining their femininity while doing so.

Other examples of the bros being bros:

Antonio getting Jay into the unit in the first place as a thank you for helping out Gabby (Chicago Fire, season 2 sometime, mentioned later when Antonio leaves)

Voight literally crying on Alvin’s shoulder after Justin’s death

Every single one of Jay and Mouse’s interactions, especially when they talk about their time in the military and Jay realises how much he cares about his friend when Mouse wants to re-enlist and when Mouse is taken hostage (4x05, 3x03)

Antonio and Voight’s entire friendship and the fact that Voight would go to such measures to help Diego even after Antonio was the one to put the cuffs on and send him to jail

Attwater and Ruzek being bros until the end and *sniff* the whole best man thing 

They all buy Antonio a zimmer frame when he gets shot isn’t that just beautiful

Ruzek hugging Al after Lexi’s death and his little “I don’t know what to say” and “can I hug you?” - like he knows Al might just want space but he has to let him know he’s there for him

They all get so upset when Jay is taken. Just watch the scene where they see the video of his torture and their faces break me. They can’t handle the idea that someone so close to them - their brother - is in so much pain. (3x01)

Seriously tho just look at these bros

So I was just gonna write a few paragraphs and sorry this is so long but feel free to add more!! I want to know what everyone else thinks!

[dulcidyne]

[ME:A] Experiments in Diplomacy: Observing

There’s nothing in the Interspecies Diplomacy subsection of the Initiative handbook that covers sharing a tech lab with an angara who can kill her in her sleep. She knows, she’s read every page. Twice. //Jaal x Ryder. SFW. 1505 words// Pre-Voeld Spoilers// Ao3 Link  Previous chapters: [1][2]

By the time she wrests an eyelid open the armor fabricator’s incessant beeping gives one last obnoxious chirp before falling silent, apparently satisfied.  Burrowing her face back into her folded arms to block out the light is a futile effort and her disgruntled groan fans humidity over the cool gloss of tech bench. There’s no use in chasing the last elusive scrap of rest. She’s awake now. Mostly.

Se-ah huffs another breath and straightens up slowly to a chorus of synovial joint pops and aching muscular creaks that make her feel every bit of her 6oo-some-odd years. The lights of the tech lab smear into hazy, multicolored coronas and she squints groggily, dragging her hand down over her face to knead circulation back into her cheek. A monster of a yawn pulls at her jaw and it isn’t until her mouth is grotesquely agape that she locks eyes with Jaal from between the vee of her fingers.

He’s close, leaning forward over the tech bench, reaching out, his hand hovering near her shoulder. Grogginess evaporates off her synapses in the moment it takes to register his proximity. As close as they are, she can make out tiny flecks of lavender flashing in the vivid, variegated blue of his eyes. For one tilting, disorienting second, she’s five all over again, growing her gardens of copper sulfate crystals in their stainless steel rice bowls (Halmonee had not been happy when she found out where they’d all gone off to) and watching, rapt, as faults and facets glitter violet, cobalt and cerulean when the light hits them just right.

It takes her way too long to register the expression on his face. When she does, her mouth snaps shut with an audible molar on molar click.

Exhibit A: Milky Way human. Behold the red-rimmed, sleep-swollen eyes; the ashen skin; the disheveled ruff of hair.

It’s the sort of intense fascination people reserve for things that are shockingly hideous--a mix of curiosity, awe, and utter bafflement. Given the looks and comments she received during her brief parade through Aya, she already knows there’s a huge gulf between their respective beauty standards, but she suspects her appearance is at new lows even with that already taken into consideration.

His eyes flicker over her face. “Strange. Human skin appears to be more pliant than I initially suspected...and…” He focuses on her nose. “Shinier.”

Shiny? She flinches away from the scrutiny, hand fanning across her face in the vain attempt to screen it from him. There’s no need, the rapt light in his eyes flickers out and he draws back his hand, violet stippling over his cheekbones. She’s too busy keeping her face from overheating to analyze what it might mean.

SAM saves her from further embarrassment by announcing. “Pathfinder. ETA to the Nol System is now four hours, forty-three minutes.”

Four hours. That means she slept through the stop in Sabeng system to discharge the FTL drive in Pas-13’s magnetosphere. It also means her new hardsuit should be--ahhh, the obnoxious beeping makes sense now.

“I was about to wake you. The armor fabricator has finished with your hardsuit,” Jaal says and his face is as unreadable as it was his first day on the Tempest.

She frowns at that and at the halting reserve in his tone, recognizing both for the distance he’s all but forgotten about maintaining lately. Judging by the regretful twinge at the corner of his mouth--there and gone in a blink--he doesn’t care for it any more than she does.

‘I’m not very good about being careful.’  

No, he really isn’t. It’s clear that he thinks he should be keeping her and the rest of the crew at an arm’s length more than actually wanting to at this point. The trust isn’t quite there yet, as much as they’d like it to be, and historical precedent has taught him what he risks when he lets his guard down around aliens. She gets it, she does, and his reluctant lapses back into careful don’t hurt her.

But she sees the frustrated sag of his massive shoulders as he turns away from her and knows that it hurts him.

Which doesn’t sit well with her. At all. Without a word, he retreats back to the corner with his cot and the desk, a flicker of blue illumination indicating that he’s already fiddling around with her double shielding concept.

Lexi would insist on leaving the room and giving him time to sort out whatever he’s feeling. And she probably should. It’s not like she doesn’t have years of experience being Alec Ryder’s daughter to fall back on. The one and only time she saw her dad cry, she immediately ran out of the room and they were both more than happy to pretend the whole thing never happened.

Except…

Except she can’t imagine Jaal going into a dim room to privately express his grief over his dying wife as if his emotions are something to be hidden away. She can’t imagine he’ll ever have a son who will hurl the accusation that he is a man who ‘would sooner be tortured by Batarians than talk about feelings with his children’. Her dad’s self-imposed isolation suited him just fine where Jaal’s seems to abrade more and more each day, a slow but painful erosion she can sometimes hear in his voice and see on his face.

She doesn’t go.

“Hey, Jaal...can I ask you something?” Husky from her nap, her voice comes out thin and reedy as smoke.

“We won’t know ‘til you try.”

She didn’t plan far enough ahead to actually think of something to ask. It doesn’t matter anyway,  the door hisses open and Cora strides into the lab with a biohazard bag in hand. In the bag is a metal container, its lid obscured with a nubbly rind of bioluminescence. Cora holds it at an arm’s length. Which...considering what it is, is smart.

“Ryder. Mind explaining this?”

“I--”

“Tell me you didn’t store a sample of the slime mold on Havarl that ate a hole into your hardsuit in the bio lab.”

“I followed all the containment protocols. I thought it would be fine as long as I sterilized the container first so that it wouldn’t have a food source.”

Clearly, she thought wrong. Behind her, Jaal remarks, “Depriving goshaeva of food was your first mistake.” Despite the baleful glower from Cora, she dares to quip over her shoulder. “Now you have input? I thought biology wasn’t your thing.”

Jaal comes up to stand by the bench to tip a pointed look down at her. “Clearly...it isn’t yours either.”

Pushed past her limit, Cora works her jaw before asking slowly, “Is this the only one?”

“Yeah. I took the scraping from my hardsuit before we sterilized it.” And then incinerated it. And then tossed the container of still-smoldering ash out the cargo bay doors and into a clump of Havarl ferns.

“Good, then I only have one thing to throw out the airlock…”  It’s obvious Cora would sorely like that one thing to be Se-ah. But, ever the professional, she leaves it unsaid and exits the tech lab as fast as possible.

Feeling Jaal’s gaze on her, Se-ah glances up to catch it before asking, “Goshaeva... does that mean anything?”

“The unstoppable hunger.”

“Oh. Creepy.”

“It is relatively harmless so long as it has something to feed on--bacteria, yeasts, molds--but without food, it begins to spore. As your hardsuit learned, the spores are capable of degrading most materials after direct, prolonged contact.”

She fires off a mental ‘Why didn’t you tell me that?’ to SAM but whatever the AI says to defend himself is lost when Jaal brushes his hand against her shoulder.

His palm is massive, warm and strange. But she finds that she likes the way his jointed fingers cup against the line of her shoulder blade, encompassing the full curve with ease. The touch is friendly and fleeting. She feels it all the way down to her toes.

“What in the stars possessed you to take a sample of such a thing after seeing what it could do?”

There’s that look again, the baffled curiosity and awe. She runs a hand through her hair and his eyes track the movement with a sniper’s precision.

“I wanted to know how it managed to eat away at all those compressed layers of ceramic. Do you know, is it some kind of highly acidic spore capsule? Do you think we could synthesize it? It…” She shrugs her shoulders, sheepish, remembering that he is the wrong person to ask.

“And it looked really...fascinating...beautiful, actually, in a weird, ‘could horribly kill me’ kind of way. I couldn’t just leave it, if that makes sense?”

Her shoulder is tingling, mapping out the outline of his palm as if the pleasant weight of it is still resting there.

“Yes.” He exhales softly before saying with no small amount of humor, “You really are a brave woman.”

[ceo-sam-blog]

The Mix Up.

INVOLVED: Samuel Evans, Karen Evans, Mercedes Jones & Benjamin Walker.  TIME FRAME: Wednesday, January 25, 2017. LOCATION: Parker and Wade Fertility Clinic; Atlanta, Georgia. NOTES: Samuel and Mercedes accompanied with their loved ones, return to the facility that has single-handedly turned both of their lives upside down.

Mercedes tapped her left foot nervously as she waited to be seen. The last time she was in this place she was ready for her whole world to change, and now that it has, she was trying her best not to lose herself in it. She came to Parker and Wade Fertility in Atlanta so that she could become a mother, something she had wanted for a while. Everything was perfect. She picked out her donor, someone she could see complimenting her. He was African American, six foot five. He has a Master’s in Education and PhD in Literature. He has a soft caramel complexion and great genes that showed through his bone structure. Needless to say she was thoroughly impressed with his bio, even her best friend agreed; Donor 1672 was the one for her. And yet here she was, sitting in the waiting room, waiting to be seen by their so called leading Physicians so that they could try and explain to her how Donor 1672 turned into Donor 2586. A man she didn’t know anything about. The letter still burned in her head, apologies for the inconvenience of being inseminated with someone else’s sperm. Her heart almost fell to her toes. Mercedes looked at her phone and noted that she had been waiting for fifteen minutes already. They were already off to a bad start.

Benjamin sat beside his childhood friend, his hands rest comfortably in his lap and he tucked his lips in slightly as they sat waiting. She was a nervous wreck, it was apparent. But he being nervous or hysterical about the major mix up would not help her. So he sat as calmly as he could and though he tried several times on the way to the doctor’s office, he knew his words of comfort and endearment were not very affective in her case. What could he really say, when you go to a doctor for help and to fix something within your life you don’t necessarily think they’d ever get it wrong? Watching her as she checked her phone he grabbed her hand in his and said “it’s going to be fine” something he had said before but this time he tried to be just a little bit more convincing as he gazed into her eyes. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze again as he held on to it.

Looking over at her best friend, Mercedes felt herself calming a little. Thank God for Benjamin or she would be worse off than she was currently. He was the only person she could see bringing with her. Maya would be setting the place off right now and Lexi would be freaking out just like her. No Benjamin was the better option; he knew how to try and at least keep her grounded. “Are you sure it’s going to be fine? Because this situation is anything but fine, I am pregnant and by a man I have no idea about. He could be some calculating serial killer who convinced them to take his DNA as an experiment that means my baby is already predisposed to that mess. Or worse he could be short like me then this child ain’t got no chance!” She sighed taking a deep breath and trying to control her emotions which at the moment, due to her hormones going rampant was not helping at all. She held her stomach feeling nauseous. “Oh God I think I am gonna be sick, see this! It’s the midget serial killer genes right now trying to kill me from within.” She stood covering her mouth as she ran into the bathroom and straight towards the toilet.

Blinking slowly Benjamin looked to Mercedes as she spoke, at her questioned he simply nodded. “Yes you are going to fine. The situation may not be. But who knows how this ends” he told her reassuringly. As she went on over analyzing the situation and even making up hysterical accusations he allowed her to speak. To vent and rant it all off her chest if that was the only way she’d feel better. “No” he said shaking his head even willing himself not to chuckle at her. “Your child will not be a midget or a serial killer” he said with a smirk. “Come on, you did your research these guys aren’t bad people. Yes he may not have been the person you chose” he said gently “however, he could be a better option. He could this brainiac destined to be the President of the United States someday. Or some down to Earth guy, who loves kids, has a great background and personality but just needed to do this for some extra cash who knows. Problem solved” he told her before she ran off to handle her sickness anyhow. This would be a long visit.

Splashing herself with water, Mercedes sighed as she took in her appearance in the mirror. She had bags under her eyes, her face was flushed and she looked as if she was going to be sick all over again. Taking a towelette and blotting her face, she opened her purse. The least she could do was look presentable. Five minutes of rinsing her mouth out, applying just enough makeup to add life to her face, and smoothing down her purple spaghetti strapped dress. It clung to her curves; she then tugged at her jean jacket making sure she looked presentable. Ruffling out her curls, she made her way back to the waiting area. Sitting next to her best friend she smiled softly. “Thank you, I know I flew off the handle back there and maybe you are right, maybe this is a good thing. As long as he is healthy, smart, and wants nothing to do with the baby I am good.” One of the reasons she chose to be inseminated was so that she didn’t have to deal with the baby daddy drama in the first place. She had enough drama in her life, she didn’t need any added.

As Mercedes returned Benjamin looked up at her “no problem” he told her “that is what I am here for” he reminded her sweetly. He took her hand back into his. “Do you feel better at least?” he asked her as he tucked a few curls into the back of her ear.

Mercedes nodded and took a breath. “Yeah I am better now. I still feel like this is a big mess that is about to unravel in a very bad way.” She closed her eyes leaning against him. “I am worried Benji, what if the guy they used wants me to get rid of the baby? Or worse he wants to try and take the baby from me? I don’t know what I am supposed to do here and I am trying not to worry but you know me... this is the beginning of the end Benji, I feel it.”

Straightening his tie in the backseat of his limo, he sighed heavily dropping his head back against his seat. The last thing he needed in his life right now was some random woman carrying his child that he didn’t even know. “Sorry” the letter read, how could you just throw in a random sorry for having placed someone’s sperm in a woman he probably didn’t even want carrying his child in the first place. Samuel licked his full lips squinting slightly as they made their way up to the entrance of the facility. “Okay” he breathed easily the worst part of this day was almost over for him. He allowed his driver to open his door before he climbed out, his younger sister in toe. She turned out to be great help in these situations after all she did practice Law, well she was a Law Student but no one needed to know that sure fact. For today she played his fake Lawyer and a damn good job she was sure to do. He looked to his right hand man someone he rarely went out in public without. He allowed the taller and larger guy to lead the way into the building. Buttoning his suit jacket Sam took the building in, looking around at the few faces sitting in the lobby before he moved to the front desk, eyeing the receptionist.

Karen looked at her older brother trying to figure out just how angry he was, hearing that not only his sperm, but the sperm he had frozen for totally opposite reasons, was used to impregnate a random woman. And the woman was actually pregnant with his child, her niece or nephew. Sam may be putting on a front that he is okay, but she knew him better than that. As the Limo came a stop she looked towards him. “Sam, I just want you to remember what is at stake here. We cannot afford for anyone to know about this, until you have had a chance to get this under control. When you go in there I need you to listen, then let me talk.” She watched Sam leave the Limo and took a deep breath before she exited. She had played lawyer before but not for anything this big. As they made their way to the lobby, she glanced around at the different faces around them. Surely they wouldn’t have the mother there with Sam, but who knew that this point.

Samuel looked to Karen “I am well aware of what something like this could jeopardize for me” he spoke lowly. “I won’t hide my anger however” he told her without reason. “This is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard of” he told her. “But first things first we have to go inside and make sense of this” he told her. Samuel continued to watch the woman behind the desk idly speaking on the phone before he cleared his throat agitatedly. Once the woman looked up, he raised a none too pleased eyebrow at her before he said. “I’m Samuel Evans. I am here to speak with whomever is in charge and runs this sham of a medical facility” bitterly. The woman looked to him oddly before she thought about a discussion she had with her supervisor earlier. “Oh yes Sir” she said quickly as she rushed the other patient off the phone. “Just one moment Mr. Evans” she told him pointing towards the chairs “if you don’t mind taking a seat someone will be right with you, right with you” she breathed out offering the man a smile. Sam sneered slightly before he walked away sticking his hands into his pockets he moved to sit down in a empty seat, sitting upright and alert as he waited.

Rolling her eyes internally as Sam not only announced who he was but went on to show is anger; she watched him take a seat and sat next to him. “Sam I am all for you being angry, this is a situation that demands it. But do you think maybe you can wait until we are behind closed doors before you go from Banner to Hulk please?” Karen pulled out her notepad jotting down a few more thoughts on this situation. Not only did she intend on making this place formally apologize for what they did, the offending participants who helped with this mix up were to be fired and she intended on letting them know they will be suing for damages. This could very well ruin her brother’s life, and she was very protective of him, so his enemies were now hers. “Have you told mom or dad about this yet? I am sure they will have a lot to say?”

“I am far from Hulk at the moment” Samuel reasoned. She had a code and he could understand the reasoning behind them playing it cool however on the outside looking in telling someone to be calm was easier said than done. He actually was calm at the moment; he hadn’t even begun to rip the business a new asshole like he wished he could. He licked his lips again; one leg crossed over the other he removed his hands from his pocket and looked to her rubbing his chin. “They’d freak. Maybe even commit murder. I dare not tell them this until I figure out what my next step is” he told her running his hands through his long hair; he shifted in his seat again. He looked to his left slowly and then to his right, he wondered what the woman looked like, who she was. And if they had the balls to bring them both together today? At the thought his head spun “God, I cannot believe this is happening” he told her.

Karen smirked. “I am just saying Sam, I have seen you go from zero to one-hundred before and that is not the way to play this. Yes they were wrong, and yes they need to pay for it. But we need to breathe first and react later.” God she could see her parents going off the rails here. She and her brothers had nothing on the wrath of their parents. “Yeah trying to figure out what you want to do is the best option, before you tell them…” She licked her lips turning a little more towards him and leaned in. “Have you decided what you want to do? I mean if the letter is correct, she is currently pregnant... would you want to be a part of that?”

Samuel sighed again pinching the bridge of his nose, he shook his head slowly. “I uh” he started shrugging, before he shook his head again. “This is something I wanted, but just not right now you know. I don’t know” he told his sister, sitting upright again and he looked around. “I mean I don’t know this woman. She could be crazy. She could try to take me for everything I have own is she finds out who I am” he whispered angrily. “I don’t want this to be about money, but I know and bet a million freaking dollars that is where this is going to end!” he said lifting a finger up at her. “Mark my words, this woman is going to milk me half to death” he said straightening his coat a little.

“I know you wanted to wait to be a father and you still can, I mean there is no law that says you have to step up and be a dad to this child. And if you think it is all about the money, then maybe you should face that head on? Offer her a lump sum, to never bother you again? It’s a thought, not saying something you should do but it’s a thought.” She looked up as a door opened and watched as a tall slender redhead came to the middle of the room. “Mr. Evans, Ms. Jones? Mr. Hunter will see you now.” Karen looked at Sam. “She’s here? Are you kidding me? They brought you both in at the same time?”

Samuel looked to his sister “I shouldn’t have to pay out anything period is my point. However depending upon the person… I’d gladly pay a lump sum and send her on her way. With conditions of course” he told her sighing again. He was already tired of the situation and they hadn’t even been spoken about yet. As his name was announced to the small crowd Samuel looked up before he looked to his sister, hearing the second name being called. Please just shoot me right now” he told her as he moved to stand up. He now had to look the woman carrying his child without his consent right in the eye.

Mercedes sat in Dr. Hunter’s office trying to maintain her composure, but it was hard. Not only was she sitting there being told in person about the massive mistake that was made, but she was stuck in the room with the man who they chose for her, the person she never chose, who was sitting mere feet away from her. He didn’t look pleased at all and it took all she had in her to not jump up and scream out, yell or voice her anger. She looked over to the man she was now bonded with and knew right away he was not someone she would have picked. The man was impeccably dressed in a three piece suit. She could tell he was a businessman, and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. He was extremely handsome, and tall which put her slightly at ease, and while the donor she picked was African American, she could was okay with him being Caucasian. What she wasn’t okay with was the fact that he felt off to her. Dr. Hunter cleared his throat and looked at them putting the file down. “I first, again, wanted to apologize. This has never happened before I can assure you. We take precautions so things like this woudn’t happen.”

Samuel sat leg crossed one over the other as he licked his lips; he made eye contact once with the woman in the room. To his surprise on the outside she didn’t look like she’d be much of a problem but that was just at first glance. He shifted in his seat rolling his jaw as he waited for something of value to be said to him. As the doctor apologized he looked to him expecting a little more in return than that. “You apologized in your letter” he breathed out “I don’t want to hear anymore apologies. I want to know what I am supposed to do now” he said. “I am a busy man Mr. Hunter. Time is money and you haven’t offered me one thing but a pitiful I’m sorry” he told the guy desperately.

“Oh my God.” Left Mercedes lips softly, before she could stop it. He was one of those guys. The ass of all assholes.

Benjamin pinched her thigh knowing right away what she was thinking and she cleared her throat to cover it up.

The man said “time was money” who the hell says that? Dr. Hunter continued to speak and she was just annoyed at that point. “Mr. Evans that is what this meeting is for, so we can all come to some sort of agreement here.” He turned his attention to Mercedes. “Ms. Jones I know that you had your donor picked out as to who you thought was a suitable candid for you, and you do have options.” Mercedes laughed. “Oh I do? Please by all means tell me my options; so that I can fix the mess you created. I am all ears.” She said sarcastically. The older man swallowed hard. “Well you can continue with the pregnancy and work with Mr. Evans, or you can terminate the pregnancy and we can fix our mistake free of charge.” Mercedes flew from her chair before the hand belonging to her best friend could stop her. “What? I know I didn’t just hear you correctly, you screw up, massively I might add and you want me to kill this child, the child growing inside of me to fix your mistake? My child?” she said hysterically.

Samuel looked to his left at the outburst, just what he needed an overly opinionated and hormonal woman. He ripped his eyes away from her long enough to hear the doctor’s words.

“I think what my client is asking of you Dr. Hunter. Is for you to tell us what you recommend in these situations. You claim they don’t happen but if they do. What does my client do now?” Karen asked simply.

At his next words Samuel furrowed his brows before the woman herself jumped up and jumped in with her opinion. “Termination of this pregnancy is not an option” Samuel said outright. He looked to his sister swapping glances before he said. “When was this procedure done? How far along is this woman? And am I allowed to know her background by any chance? I don’t know her… so I need something, I’d like to know something, more” he said.

Mercedes was about to continue, but the man began to speak. He was against terminating the pregnancy and she stood taller knowing he agreed with her on that, but then he started talking as if she weren’t even in the room, and that just pissed her off more. “Excuse you, I am not this woman I have a name and I can speak for myself if you can believe it or not, so how about any questions about me and my pregnancy and my baby be directed to me? Or are women supposed to be quiet in your presence?”

Samuel looked to her again with wide eyes and he tilted his head to the side a bit as she spoke to him. “Okay” he said easily in response to her, she had a bit of an attitude but luckily enough for her he found that quite attractive. He licked his lips before he said “when was this procedure done? How far along are you?” he asked her directly. “And I would like to know your background after all… you could be crazy” he said with a wide smirk. He was annoyed but upsetting her wouldn’t help his case so he might as well play it cool with her, before she turns out taking him for everything he was worth anyway. “Women can speak in my presence…” he challenged slightly. “After all you have been speaking this entire time?” he said back to her.

Folding her arms across her chest she glared at him as he began speaking. Mercedes scoffed in response to him. “First of all, you do realize when talking to an actual person, especially the mother of your soon to be child, you might want to start by asking her name! Second, to answer your question I am about six weeks pregnant. It was done on the twelfth of December. As for my background, show me yours I will show you mine. You could be just as crazy!” She placed her hands on her hips turning fully towards him. “Is that a fact? Well my aren’t you just Mr. Incredible allowing me to speak, allowing me to even be in your presence then? What’s next, gonna make me kiss your ring?”

Samuel looked back at his sister again before he looked towards Mercedes again. “Are you done?” he asked her simply. “You having an attitude with me won’t fix this problem. And please keep in mind Miss Jones” he paused “that is you name right?” he asked sarcastically before he carried on “do keep in mind just as I, you were no choice of mine” he said easily, and without thought. “We can be civil or we can be assholes. The choice is yours” he breathed out gazing at her before he turned his attention back to the doctor. “It took six weeks for someone to catch their mistake?” he asked annoyed. “If I sue you” he paused “when I sue you… they are going to have to name the building after me” he said with a dark chuckle. “All of you are imbeciles” he said.

“Wow, I was right you are a complete asshole.” Mercedes turned towards Dr. Hunter. “Thank you so much for putting this arrogant, asshole in my life.” She turned back to Sam. “Let me tell you something Mr. Evans, I have an attitude because this situation that I have been forced in has ruined everything I have had planned, since I have decided to do this. I have an attitude because I am pregnant with a baby whose father is you, a man I don’t know but from the first impression I have of you, I am not sure I want you in the child’s life.”

Benjamin cleared his throat. “Merce you should calm down.”

Mercedes laughed. “I will not calm down! I didn’t want this! I didn’t want to know the father that was the whole point! But you know what I can fix this situation right now. Mr. Hunter you best believe you will give me a full refund and when my lawyer contacts you, and he will. I hope you have the decency to settle and not expose your failures to the world. And as for you Mr. Evans I am gonna do you a favor and set you free, you have no obligations to this child whatsoever. You didn’t sign up for this, I sure as hell didn’t and I really don’t want to be tied to you at all in this. Now if you'll excuse me I don’t want to be here any longer.”

Tilting his head he watched her, her melt down, and then herself righteous rampage, and even her taking the high road and dismissing herself. He let her finish smirking again to himself nonetheless. “Bravo” he said clapping for her slightly. “You want all the attention and you have it. You want to make this all about you and you’ve done that too. Now that you have spoken, practically talked all our heads off about everything and nothing of importance” he breathed. “I am here to tell you sadly in your situation the responsibility of this child has to be split 50/50. And I am sure Mr. Hunter will allow you to see my medical records for reasons as will yours to me. I’ll give you this” he said as Karen handed her over Samuel’s business card. “And you can call me when you really, really. Want to talk” he told her as he stood up himself. “Excuse me” he told them all as he left.

Karen looked to Mercedes and her friend “I am sorry about this, this is a trying time for him. However please do call if you need anything. We aren’t against you in this. We are with you, we are on your side” she told her reassuringly despite her brother. “Have a good day, but you Mr. Hunter. You’ll be hearing from us very soon” she told him before leaving herself.

Mercedes glared at the door as Karen began to speak. “Oh hell no!” She said to herself turning towards Karen she shook her head. “Yeah that isn’t how this is gonna end.” She walked out the door following after Sam. “Just who the hell do you think you are? I don’t know what planet you landed here from but right now this is about me! About me and this child that I am carrying.” She folded her arms as she cut her eyes at him. “You can think what you want but the rights of the mother carrying a child, trumps the rights of a sperm donor! And if I don’t want you in my child’s life that is my choice. Now you are excused.” She turned away from him.

Looking at the woman in front of him Benjamin stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I am sorry about that, like him this is a hard time for her, she is someone who always is in control and right now she isn’t in control of this or her body or anything. She isn’t...okay that is a lie she is a handful but you can understand why she is upset.” He took the card. “Once she calms down I will make sure she calls your boss. Now I should find her before she goes off again.”

Samuel turned to Mercedes again; this woman was surely beginning to piss him off though he didn’t show it. “Okay” he said simply, he willed himself not to argue. Why would he? He knew what his money was capable of. As she turned away he did the same exiting the building.

“Noted” Karen replied to Benjamin as she offered a polite grin and walked away in pursuit of her brother.

Benjamin walked out the room and right into a fuming Mercedes. He could see whatever she went to talk to that Evans guy about didn’t end on a happy note. “What happened?”

Mercedes frowned looking at her best friend. “Nothing let’s just go home. And before you start.” She said raising her hand to his face. “I am tired; I am emotional and pissed off. I just want to go... please.” She walked out the room and heard Benjamin follow after her, she was not sure what the father of her child was capable of, but she didn’t trust him for a minute.