#no real criticism of Neil Sedaka meant

[maddie-grove]

I think it’s pretty silly when people are like “this late-fifties/early-sixties song about a sixteen-year-old girl is creepy,” because the thought process behind them was almost always “teenagers buy rock ‘n’ roll records; let’s write a song about a teen boy who’s in love with a teen girl and give it to some dude to sing” or “I started a doo-wop group with my high school classmates and we wrote this song in thirty minutes,” rather than “I, an adult man, am writing about my real-life desire to hook up with teenagers.” Like even if the singer or songwriter was actually a lech, I don’t think they were trying to express that via cutesy pop song.

But “Happy Birthday, Sweet Sixteen” by Neil Sedaka really does not make a good impression. “Tonight’s the night I’ve waited for/because you’re not a baby anymore”? Oh, you’ve been waiting? For the legal age of consent in your state? And you’re explicitly older than her? And “since you’ve grown up/your future is sewn up/from now on you’re gonna be mine”? Okay, did you ask her or are you telling her?