#no texting no caling no tumblr just music

[nesquikflavoredchapstick]

3 days count down til weed ^w^

[lgbtqiahistoricalromance]

LGBTQIA Historical Romances with Artists, Poets, Thespians, Musicians, Dancers, and Bohemians - July 2018

Jalendu by Mark Andrew

- Set in the turbulent twilight of the reign of the Mughal Emperor of India, Jalaluddin Akbar, Jalendu tell the story of the socially awkward, but politically important young Prince Adinath and Jali, a handsome, spiritually inclined farm boy who becomes his bodyguard. Their unlikely friendship and love changes the fate of the empire. The small kingdom of Vindhyagarh sits in the Vindhya foothills between Prince Salim, the rebellious son of the emperor and self-declared Sultan of Ilahabad (present day Allahabad) and his powerful Bundela Rajput ally, Maharaja Vir Singh Deo of Orchha. But Salim in truth is no rebel. He is loyal to the power behind the throne, the women of the imperial household. The court nobility, led by the emperor's vizier Abul Fazl, see their power evaporating as the emperor seems powerless to oppose the wishes of the empresses or to act against his disobedient eldest son. They fear that when Salim become emperor, they will be reduced to mere servants. Abul Fazl vows that Salim will never sit on the imperial throne. Rana Jayaram of Vindhyagarh wants peace, but his efforts to ensure it draw his kingdom into a very dangerous political game. His youngest son has rarely left the palace because of illness and spends his time reading ancient Sanskrit texts, drawing and composing poetry. His only friends are his brother's widow and his old tutor. Jayaram sees a chance to extract his kingdom from danger by an alliance with the influential Kachwahas. An alliance by the marriage of Prince Adinath to a Kachwaha princess would not only tie Vindhyagarh to a Rajput house more loyal to the empire but into the imperial family itself.

On Wings of Song by Anne Barwell

- Six years after meeting British soldier Aiden Foster during the Christmas Truce of 1914, Jochen Weber still finds himself thinking about Aiden, their shared conversation about literature, and Aiden’s beautiful singing voice. A visit to London gives Jochen the opportunity to search for Aiden, but he’s shocked at what he finds.The uniform button Jochen gave him is the only thing Aiden has left of the past he’s lost. The war and its aftermath ripped everything away from him, including his family and his music. When Jochen reappears in his life, Aiden enjoys their growing friendship but knows he has nothing to offer. Not anymore.

The Reluctant Berserker by Alex Beecroft Review (Gorgeous writing, and an unusual case of a dominant musician and a submissive warrior.)

- Dark Ages England. Among the Saxons, a warrior is the highest form of human life. He dominates all, he yields to none, and if ever this mastery is taken away, his honour is taken with it. Reluctant berserker, Wulfstan, a noble and fearsome warrior, has spent most of his life trying to hide the fact that he would love to be cherished and taken care of by someone stronger than himself. Slight and beautiful harper, Leofgar, has the opposite problem – how can he keep the trained killers off him long enough to get them to acknowledge he’s as much of a man as any of them? When, in a panic, Wulfstan accidentally kills a friend who is about to blurt out his secret, and Leofgar flees rather than submit to his lord’s lust, they meet on the road to the pilgrims’ shrine at Ely. Pursued by a mother’s curse and Leofgar’s vengeful lord, they must battle guilt, outlaws, and the powers of the underworld with the aid of only music and a female saint. And if they fall in love on the way, there’s still that murderous shame to overcome.

Treading the Boards series by Tess Bowery (author’s Tumblr)

Rite of Summer: Gay men in a disaster!triad. Sex solves a lot of things, but actually talking about problems solves more. Not a poly ending.

She Whom I Love: Bisexual best friends share a very confused (yet grateful) straight man. Disaster is narrowly averted. A very poly ending.*

*Shortlisted twice for the Bisexual Book Awards, 2015 - Best Romance, Best Erotic Fiction.

That Potent Alchemy: Genderqueer ballet dancer hates gender, ballet, and emotional connection. Macbeth helps. No poly in this one at all.

Artemis by Jessica Cale (trans male hero/bisexual heroine)

- Actress Charlotte Halfpenny is in trouble. Pregnant, abandoned by her lover, and out of a job, Charlotte faces eviction two weeks before Christmas. When the reclusive Earl of Somerton makes her an outrageous offer, she has no choice but to accept. Could he be the man of her dreams, or is the nightmare just beginning?

Apollo Somerton has been in love with Charlotte for a decade, seeing each of her plays multiple times, despite being a man that otherwise keeps to himself. After Charlotte finds herself pregnant, she almost resorts to drastic measures, but Somerton rescuers her and makes her an offer she can’t refuse. But, despite his adoration and beauty, Charlotte knows being an actress didn’t prepare her for the role of wife to an Earl, and others will stop at nothing to keep the pair from getting married.

This is a sweet novella, with a frankly adorable leading man. Handsome and devoted, he has a secret, but love with persevere. Some aspects of the novella are a little far-fetched, but the love story makes it totally worthwhile. (Contains mentions of period-typical homophobia and transphobia. Trans male leading man, and bisexual heroine.)

25% proceeds donated to Equality NC, and 25% to the Malala fund

Think of England by KJ Charles Mini Review

- Lie back and think of England... England, 1904. Two years ago, Captain Archie Curtis lost his friends, fingers, and future to a terrible military accident. Alone, purposeless and angry, Curtis is determined to discover if he and his comrades were the victims of fate, or of sabotage. Curtis's search takes him to an isolated, ultra-modern country house, where he meets and instantly clashes with fellow guest Daniel da Silva. Effete, decadent, foreign, and all-too-obviously queer, the sophisticated poet is everything the straightforward British officer fears and distrusts. As events unfold, Curtis realizes that Daniel has his own secret intentions. And there's something else they share-a mounting sexual tension that leaves Curtis reeling. As the house party's elegant facade cracks to reveal treachery, blackmail and murder, Curtis finds himself needing clever, dark-eyed Daniel as he has never needed a man before... Warning: Contains explicit male/male encounters, ghastly historical attitudes, and some extremely stiff upper lips.

The Actor and the Earl by Rebecca Cohen (Three book series, w/Sebastian playing his own twin sister in all three.)

- Elizabethan actor Sebastian Hewel takes his bow at the proscenium only to embark on the role of a lifetime. When his twin sister, Bronwyn, reneges on the arrangement to marry Anthony Redbourn, Earl of Crofton, Sebastian reluctantly takes her place. At nineteen, Sebastian knows his days as a leading lady are numbered, but with this last performance, he hopes to restore his family’s name and pay off his late father’s debts. Never mind the danger of losing his head should he be discovered.He didn’t expect Anthony to be so charming and alluring—not to mention shrewd. While he applauds Sebastian’s plan, Anthony offers a mutually beneficial arrangement instead. Sebastian will need every drop of talent he has to survive with both his head and his heart intact, because this is the best part he’s ever had.

You Must Remember This: A Gay Retelling of Casablanca by John Michael Curlovich

- You Must Remember This is an homage to the classic film Casablanca on the 75th anniversary of the film’s release in America. It is the height of World War II. Frank Chandler is an American GI who has been separated from the army on a “blue discharge.” Along with his musician friend and sometime lover Dan Jackson, he finds himself in Marrakesh (only a short distance away from Casablanca), an international city where every kind of pleasure is easily available. But Marrakesh is also a city of danger. The Nazis are establishing themselves there, and their ominous presence means life is fraught with peril. Then Lilli, a beautiful, mysterious woman from Frank’s past, shows up unexpectedly, and he finds himself confronted with the hardest choice of his life. Lilli’s presence stirs emotions he thought he had buried. Yet there is still the city—and its men—and the thousand pleasures it offers… Should Frank go with Lilli and try to make a “normal” life with her? Or should he follow what he increasingly believes to be his true nature? That is the dramatic conflict at the heart of You Must Remember This.

My Lord, Lady, and Gentleman - Book Three of the Surrey SFS series by Nicola Davidson (m/m/f)

- Welcome to the Surrey Sexual Freedom Society - where unconventional and uninhibited ladies and gentlemen discuss all matters erotic... Estranged from his aristocratic family for choosing art over a third son’s proper path, Mr. Clayton Irving lives in wretched circumstances. His only joys are his friends and an extraordinary talent for sensual portraits, until the perfect opportunity arises: paint ton empress Lady Susanna Fenton. All his financial woes gone…if he can hide his fierce craving for her—and even more forbidden—her husband Lord Joseph Fenton.

In the eyes of the world the Fentons have it all: staggering wealth, position, and a caring union. Yet their smiles hide a marriage broken by secrets and pretense. The wicked portrait is a last effort to save it, and Susanna and Joseph soon discover that sinfully handsome Clayton is key to a passionate and happy new start for them all. But secrets always reveal themselves, and those who break the rules are punished. Can an unconventional ménage truly defy all for love?

The Bohemian and the Banker by Bonnie Dee and Summer Devon

- A night lost in Paris finds two hearts changed forever. Sent to Paris on business, Nigel Warren doesn’t quite understand why his colleagues’ eyes twinkle as they tell him to meet them at a local night spot. When he discovers it’s a drag cabaret and his acquaintances aren’t there, he realizes he’s the butt of a joke. Yet he finds himself quite undone by a singer dressed in an elegant gown, crooning a spellbinding ballad. It’s not unusual for Jay, a former Londoner, to bring a new “friend” home from the cabaret, but he’s never had a guest quite like Nigel, whose straitlaced manner hides an unexpected passionate streak. One romantic night on a rooftop under starry skies, followed by an afternoon enjoying the excitement of the 1901 Paris Exposition, bonds these opposites in a way neither can forget—even after they part. Their spark reignites when Jay comes to London, but he’s not sure he can go back to hiding his true self, not even for the sake of love…unless Nigel is willing to shed his cloak of staid respectability and take a leap of faith.

Robby Riverton: Mail Order Bride by Eli Easton

- Being a fugitive in the old west shouldn’t be this much fun. The year is 1860. Robby Riverton is a rising star on the New York stage. But he witnesses a murder by a famous crime boss and is forced to go on the run--all the way to Santa Fe. When he still hasn't ditched his pursuers, he disguises himself as a mail order bride he meets on the wagon train. Caught between gangsters that want to kill him, and the crazy, uncouth family of his "intended", Robby's only ally is a lazy sheriff who sees exactly who Robby is -- and can't resist him. Trace Crabtree took the job as sheriff of Flat Bottom because there was never a thing going on. And then Robby Riverton showed up. Disguised as a woman. And betrothed to Trace’s brother. If that wasn’t complication enough, Trace had to find the man as appealing as blueberry pie. He urges Robby to stay undercover until the danger has passed. But a few weeks of having Robby-Rowena at the ranch, and the Crabtree family will never be the same again. Damn, what a kerfuffle. If only Trace can get rid of the fugitive while hanging on to his own stupid heart.

A Brush with Darkness by Erastes

- Florence, 1875 After making a grisly discovery one night, I needed proof that there was still goodness in the world. I never dreamt it would come to me during my next commission—with a subject whose very name means light... Yuri was glorious in his otherworldly beauty, surrounded by a bright halo of iridescence, but I detected a fierce darkness lurking underneath the surface. Sketching all night, I could hardly wait to capture his likeness in a painting. For Yuri has stimulated not only my creative urges, but my sexual ones as well. His very presence infuses me with joy and passion, but what will happen if my patron should discover our trysts? Dependent on his good graces, I can't afford to lose his support. But I fear the time will soon come when I must choose between restoring my family's fortunes and obeying the temptation of the muse before me... Previously published as Chiaroscuro, newly revised by author.

The Matinee Idol by Owen Keehnen

- LOVE IN THE SILENT FILM ERA... At the height of the roaring 1920s, Raymond Richmond leaves Iowa and heads for Hollywood with dreams of silent film stardom in his head. In Los Angeles, he meets Brick, the ruggedly handsome cowboy of his dreams. Soon the two are a couple. When Raymond film career takes off, he is pressured to choose between stardom and Brick. Afraid of passing up his dream, Raymond chooses his career. As Raymond’s star ascends, he attempts to fill the void Brick has left in a number of ways. Eventually, his career begins to suffer and shortly after the advent of talkies, Raymond hits rock bottom. Desperate and alone, he is prostituting himself to feed his addiction to alcohol. But fate intervenes and reunites Raymond with Brick. However, Brick carries deep wounds from their past as well. Can the former lovers overcome the demons and betrayal of the past and find happiness once again? Spanning over a decade, Owen Keehnen’s The Matinee Idol is a timeless tale about second chances and the redemptive power of love.

Convincing the Secretary - Book Two of the London Legal series by Ava March (Included due to Edward’s true calling.)

- Business and pleasure is a mix no gentleman should consider. Lord Grayson Holloway goes after what he wants—be it in the law office on his clients’ behalf or in the bedchamber. His new position as partner puts him closer to achieving his goal of becoming the most successful solicitor in London. There’s just one problem—his new secretary. Broad of shoulder yet mild of manner, Edward tempts Gray like no other. Yet the young man barely notices him. Edward Fenton tries to be a good secretary, but being in Lord Grayson’s hard, commanding presence rouses Edward’s most forbidden desires. Wicked, naughty desires no gentleman should consider giving in to, let alone with his new employer. Gray is more than willing to mix business with pleasure. But convincing Edward to take a chance on a future with him? That might be the most challenging case Gray has ever taken on. Warning: Includes buttoned-up gentlemen who become undone, improper use of a desk, spankings, and a big bad lord who has a soft spot for his virgin secretary.

A Wager of Love by Katherine Marlowe (Review pending, but this is included, because Gilbert and Laurence have long conversations about poetry and philosophy, and they do a little acting in pursuit of their goal. This was a delightful book, using the thoughts and concepts of the time period to great effect.

- Laurence Aberforth has never been in love. The first time he meets the impulsive and charming Gilbert Heckwith, he accepts a wager as to whether or not true love exists in the world. Amidst the playful flirtation of their new friendship, they explore the concept of love through philosophy and poetry, and the two of them ultimately find the proof of their wager in each other. Clean romance, no cheating, no cliffhangers, standalone novella.

Such a Dance by Kate McMurray

- New York City, 1927. Eddie Cotton is a talented song-and-dance man with a sassy sidekick, a crowd-pleasing act, and a promising future on Broadway. What he doesn’t have is someone to love. Being gay in an era of prohibition and police raids, Eddie doesn’t have many opportunities to meet men like himself—until he discovers a hot new jazz club for gentlemen of a certain bent...and sets eyes on the most seductive, and dangerous, man he’s ever seen. Lane Carillo is a handsome young Sicilian who looks like Valentino—and works for the Mob. He’s never hidden his sexuality from his boss, which is why he was chosen to run a private night club for men. When Lane spots Eddie at the bar, it’s lust at first sight. Soon, the unlikely pair are falling hard and fast—in love. But when their whirlwind romance starts raising eyebrows all across town, Lane and Eddie have to decide if their relationship is doomed…or something special worth fighting for.

The First Act by Vanessa Mulberry

- April 1594. William Moodie thinks he’s in love with celebrated actor Richard Brasyer. When Brasyer’s playing company, Goldfox’s Men, comes to town, William is only too willing to leave his country life for the opportunities of the theater and a life in London. Determined to become Richard’s apprentice, William seeks to impress his mentor with his acting—and please him in bed.Meanwhile, Richard struggles to escape his past as a spy and disentangle himself from the manipulations of his former master and ex-lover, Bennett Goldfox. Swearing off a relationship with his new apprentice proves difficult for Richard, as William uses all his youthful charms to seduce him. When Bennett’s life is threatened, Richard is lured back into the game for one final mission, and he and William travel to Cambridge to hunt down a list of traitors to the Crown.In the midst of danger and deception, Richard and William come to truly see each other, faults and all, and realize their feelings run deeper than either expected.

Palace Dog by RE Nelson

- In April 1975, as the government in Saigon is falling, Michael Andrews prepares to make his way back to Vietnam to find the love he was forced to leave. But Michael’s journey begins four years earlier. He joins the Air Force to keep out of the Army and out of Vietnam, but his first assignment is teaching English in Saigon to members of the Vietnamese military in an Army program called Palace Dog. As an artist, and a man, before his time in Vietnam, Michael found life lonely and unsatisfying. In the midst of war, Michael searches for direction and meaning. He ultimately finds love and hope with Thao, a young Vietnamese art student, only to have their already uncertain future wrenched from them when he is pulled out of the country. For Michael, his return in 1975 is inevitable and without question, though the outcome he hopes for is anything but assured.

The Viscount and the Artist by Alyson Pearce (The Eccentrics Book 1) (Review pending, but this was a lovely surprise. I expected a slap-dash May/December romance, but these characters were actually worked out, and Jeremy stays true to his convictions in spite of everything working against him. Andrew has a crisis, but they work through it together.)

- Andrew Cardwell is a man driven by duty to his country and to his family. After the death of his uncle, he’s determined to provide security and stability for his family as the new Viscount Cardwell—even if that means marrying and producing an heir. Surprising himself, Andrew decides to sponsor a young artist named Jeremy for the season, to help him find a patron. What he doesn’t anticipate is how well Jeremy fits in his bed…and his life. Jeremy Leighton knows what it’s like to be a disappointment. The only son of a vicar, he’s refused to follow the path his father set for him, choosing his passion for art, instead. He accepts Andrew’s proposal, hoping to prove to his father—and himself—that he can succeed as an artist. After spending time with Andrew in and out of bed, Jeremy struggles not to fall for the damaged viscount, knowing the season will likely end in Andrew’s engagement. Between a meddling cousin, a widow on the hunt for a new husband, and their own doubts about the relationship, how can Andrew and Jeremy shed the expectations of others to find true happiness?

Juliana by Vanda (f/f)

- New York City, 1941. Alice “Al” Huffman and her childhood friends are fresh off the potato farms of Long Island and bound for Broadway. Al’s plans for stage success are abruptly put on hold when she’s told she has no talent. As she gets a job to pay for acting classes, Al settles into a normal life with her friends and a boyfriend. It all changes when she meets Juliana.A singer on the brink of stardom, Juliana is everything Al isn’t: glamorous, talented, and queer. The farm girl is quickly enthralled, experiencing thoughts and feelings she never realized were possible. Al finds herself slipping between two worlds: the gay underground and the “normal” world of her childhood friends. It’s a balancing act she can handle until the two worlds begin to collideIn a city bursting with change, can Alice find what she was looking for all along?Juliana: Volume 1: 1941-1944 is a captivating work of LGBT historical romance. If you like extensively researched settings, spell-binding storytelling, and characters you can’t help but fall for, then you’ll love the first book in award-winning playwright Vanda’s new Juliana series.

Nightingale by Aleksandr Voinov

- In Nazi-occupied Paris, most Frenchmen tread warily, but gay nightclub singer Yves Lacroix puts himself in the spotlight with every performance. As a veteran of France’s doomed defense, a survivor of a prison camp, and a “degenerate,” he knows he’s a target. His comic stage persona disguises a shamed, angry heart and gut-wrenching fear for a sister embedded in the Resistance. Yet Yves ascends the hierarchy of Parisian nightlife to become a star, attracting the attention—and the protection—of the Nazi Oberst Heinrich von Starck. To complicate matters further, young foot soldier Falk Harfner’s naïve adoration of Yves threatens everything he’s worked for. So does Aryan ideologue von Grimmstein, rival to von Starck, who sees something “a bit like a Jew” in Yves. When an ill-chosen quip can mean torture at the hands of the Gestapo, being the acclaimed Nightingale of Paris might cost Yves his music and his life.

Ardent by Heloise West

- In the village of Torrenta, master painter Morello has created a color that mimics the most expensive pigment of all, the crimson red. Master Zeno, from strife-ridden Medici Florence, tells him the color gives him a competitive advantage – but Morello must be careful. Fraud is ever-present in the dye and pigment markets. As they work together in Torrenta, Morello falls hard for Zeno’s assistant, Benedetto Tagliaferro, a young man of uncommon beauty and intelligence. Benedetto is still fixed on his old lover, the master painter Leo Guisculo, and cannot return Morello’s affections. But when Leo dies in a terrible accident, it’s to Morello that Zeno and Benedetto turn for help. And Morello soon finds that in Florence, every surface hides layers of intrigue.

[targsdaenerys]

let me tell you all a story. a story of my experience with ouat.

2012.

in fourth grade, i was watching american idol. during commercials, i viewed a promo consisting of a dragon and unicorns. now, at the time, unicorns were my ver y favorite, so of course, i was intrigued. i told my mom that i heard about a show with unicrons, but that i didnt know what it was called. she told me how she had heard of it and wanted to check it out. after watching the season one interviews between red and snow, she believed it was too old for me. i agreed. no unicorns. not what i was expecting.

2013.

a year passes. fifth grade was a blur, and all i know is that we went to disney. i had no idea what would change since then.

2014.

my friends are suddenly starting to talk about this kid’s eyebrows. how they are “so hot” and “sexy”. she showed me a picture off of robbie kay’s instagram and i laughed. ha, peter pan? whatever.

but then, it started to reoccur each monday, they would talk about it. i actually started to look forward to monday lunch periods. i begged them to discuss what they thought of the episode. once again, i was intrigued. 

so of course, i wanted to see what the fuss was about. whats this big deal with peter pan? and who the hell’s rumple after only a few clips, i suddenly loved snow and charming. i needed more. i needed to watch.

so i tried. desperately.  i only had an ipad, and was unaware it was on netlfix, so i tried to watch the first episode of the series by typing in “once upon a time season 1 episode one online free to any platform.i actually was able to find it and went in excitedly the next day to tell my friends. that was when i learned it was on netflix and thati could not wait to get home and watch it. so i did. but the thing is, i was only there for snow and charming scenes.  i literally only skipped to their scenes. thats how i watched the show.

but then, as i was scrolling around youtube one day looking forsscenes for them, i came across “Emma and Hook Kiss scene” my frirst thought? it was between “ew”and “serioulsy?”

i watched it anyway.

and to behonest, it was kind of just a “okay, that happened” kind of thing. it wasnt until my friend told me after the season 3 finle that emma and hook kissed again before i got alitle excited. not much more, though.

then months pass, and suddenly, scrolling around netflix, i come across the hunger games. i held a grudge against the series since it became big with the popular group in my school that year. but i was thirsty for romance. and i heard it had some.

and thats how i fell in love with everlark. one night. the next morning i started following pages on instagram. i look up the ship on googlge. and tumblr posts pop up. i make a tumblr.

i start to follow pages on there with everlark, but then i start to see things on both platforms. emma and hook. and then, i slowly started to fall in love. not much. i just watch a couple of their scenes during season three, come across their second kiss. getting really, really excitated for the fourth season.

at the point, i had written about two everlark fanfictions. i wanted to write one about emma and hook, but i had no i dea how. or what .

but then tumblr inspired me. to the point where i started to freak out over every episode no matter how small the scenes were. in october of seventh grade, i wrote my first captain swan fanifction. i also drew my first drawing that i never thought i was able to do. sure, it was with a sketchbook my aunt got me in second grade and a #2 pecil, but i believe its still beautiful. it wasnt long after i actually found the name, captain swan, rather than using “kemma” or “killimma”.

2015.

and from there, my obsession sky rocketed. i stayed up until four every night after an episode, despite schol the next morning. i wrote little drabbles that arelong since gone ever since my laptop broke. i drew more drawings, i rewatched every scene until thats all that was in my head.the s4 finale was as hard on me as everyone else, and i tried to write a specualtion fic to the s5 premiere. i neverfinshed. although, looking back at the writing now, i can still feel the pain i was in by it.

and then season five started. again, i freaked out as much as everyone else. every episode. i still remeber the week after the first episode, we lost someone int he fandom. we miss you, love.

and then it was late october.saturday the 22nd, my mom came into my room to ask me if id seen my friend alyssa that day. she was a year older than me, afreshman in highschool. i didnt, so i told her. i didnt ever think what might have been.the following day, i was working at the food pantry when my mom caled me.they had found alyssa. but she wasnt okay.maybe in her mind she may have been the best shes ever been, but to us,she wasnt.

no one else knew, and i had to walk home in silence. i didnt cry because at the time we werent as close as the year before and it didnt hit me.but then my mother’s words repeated in my head. “Alyssa died, sweetie.” it was asentence i never forgot.

im not the best at keeping my emtions with myself. i always think people will judge me and call me selfish if i cry, and i didnt want it to be like that. so i kept it in.i kept the tears in for so, so long, even to the point here i didnt even cry at her wake where she looked like an angel although the scarf around her neck was something shed never wear. and what kept my sanity? once upon a time. it was then when i realized it was my anchor. 

2016.

back in 2015 my mother made me audtion for a vocational school. earlier that year i had found its dance program and wanted to go, but along the way my intrest dwindled. she told me to give it a shot anyway because i had a very low chance of making it in due to my grades at the time. 

i made it in. 

the following months were the worst of my life. every day on the way home from dance wed fight about which high school was better, and although she was right about me going to the vocational one, i wanted to stay in my district. lets just say the only thing that kept me from following alyssa into the darkness was dance competitions. oh, and what else. the damn once upon a time episodes.

she forced me to go to that school, by the way. sure, i enjoy it now, but the people there suck and i still do not like how she went at it.

that fall, i take my friend to our first convention.since i started watching oneupon a time, i wanted others to watch it, and my one friend agreed to. until the end of the neverland arc.  and peter pan died. no more ouat for her. but, since robbie was going to be there, lets go. she got a picture with him, i got a picture with bex. yayay.

2017.

last week, we experienced the best sunday of our life. a wedding we never really thought would happen. it was unbelievable. emma got her happy ending(or beginning) aand we got ours. it was so thrilling that even my friend who stopped watching in season three was excited. but as much as it was unbeliable the night, the following morning was too.

that was the most giddiest i had ever felt for school. every more we have a forty five minute bus ride and the but whole time i listened to the musical on repeat. but then, as i looked down to pause the music as we pulled into school, i saw my friends text. Jen’s facebook post.

i was in a daze all day.

it wasnt until lunch, the last period since it was a half day, where i just broke down. people asked me what was wrong and i explained as best i could, but shitty people have shitty outlooks on things and they didnt understand. it was the loneliest ive ever felt.

my mom kind of comforted me, telling me how she felt the same when parent hood ended and that ill find a new show ill like just the same, but one upon a time is special. no show can replace or even add onto what kind of mark it had left on me. it was what started my career in wririting and drawing. in someways it kept me alive. and what did people do when i told them this? they laughed.

it was tuesday night when i ran down stairs, telling my mom about convention tickets for colin and jen photo op i found on sale. we had them in mind for awhile, but never got them. she told me wed look into it. we missed the sale.

so here we were, here i was, aall i was able to think about was how id never meet the people who played the characters that shaped me and my future. until the next morning, my birthday, where i was given the tickets.

and today,to night, was pretty much the end of the storybook. im not going to go into it because i have it on a post from about an hour ago. but thank you everyone, for helping me be me. and thank you for this blessed oppurtuniy, in which i had never and will never take for granted, to be a part of such a magical communtiy. because of this platform i have aspired my career of writing, drawing, and fulfilling my dreams of being a princess by being able to contact disney about the program.if it wasnt for this damned, beautiful fucking shwow, i would probably bedrastically different. this story we created is timeless, a neverending fairytale in both real life and on screen. the story contiues for ever and ever in our hearts and writing and drawing and all of the incredible talents we all have.

[stonequake]

This is what I do hwen I’m bored

1.Who was the last person you held hands with? this answer would normally be my boyfriend but oddly enough it is a random boy in the pit at billy talent who just held hands with me during a song i cried a little

2. Are you outgoing or shy? pretty shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? my boyfriend tomorrow, my best friend soon

4. Are you easy to get along with? usually

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I’m usually the one taking care of people even when I’m drunk

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? weirdos, very emotive people, sincere, thoughtful, artsy, quiet, contemplative people, alternative ppl

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? yes

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? from the opposite gender? bob ross

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? not really talking about it

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? cale

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “ *flap* :( “

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? damn uh if I had to split-second choose: -  something weird by awful din

fuck shit up by ghost mice

good enough by tiny moving parts

common cold also by tiny moving parts

carjack by greys

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? oh fuck yes

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? I don’t believe in it but my brain often makes me act on it

15. What good thing happened this summer? i can’t even remember last month

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? fuck no, unless we’re counting the little one I gave cale, then of course

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? of course

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? I don’t think I ever even talked to my first crush I was like 7

19. Do you like bubble baths? ya

20. Do you like your neighbours? she abuses her dogs

21. What are you bad habits? I have so many, washing my hands is probably one of them, staying up too late

22. Where would you like to travel? everywhere fr

23. Do you have trust issues? I don’t think in that way

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? doin my makeup

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? I’m pretty comfortable with my body nowadays, probably my nose or teeth

26. What do you do when you wake up? go on my phone, piss, eat cereal

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? i wish it wasn’t so blotchy

28. Who are you most comfortable around? cale

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? uh

30. Do you ever want to get married? idk

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? yea

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? ummm évelyne brochu and hugh dancy

33. Spell your name with your chin. elkhyxd

34. Do you play sports? What sports? I swim and ski

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? I already live without TV

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? who has not

37. What do you say during awkward silences? nothing

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? cool

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? uh west 49 and like, winners

40. What do you want to do after high school? I’m not in high school and i’m doing nothing basically

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? generally

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? nothing unusual

43. Do you smile at strangers? yes

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? space

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? the fact that dad got milk last night so I can have cereal

46. What are you paranoid about? like everything. catching sickness especially

47. Have you ever been high? yea

48. Have you ever been drunk? yea

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? not /nobody/

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black like my emo ass

51. Ever wished you were someone else? ya

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? my functioning, how I dissociate, make my voice stronger thats 3

53. Favourite makeup brand? low end is either nyx or elf, high end is too faced

54. Favourite store? #39

55. Favourite blog? qckdn

56. Favourite colour? grey or maroon

57. Favourite food? man idk, shrimp tacos maybe

58. Last thing you ate? wonton soup

59. First thing you ate this morning? cereal ?!

60. Ever won a competition? For what? can;t remember

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? no

62. Been arrested? For what?n o

63. Ever been in love? yes

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? can’t even remember

65. Are you hungry right now? nah

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? I don’t even really have tumblr friends

67. Facebook or Twitter? neither

68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? no

70. Names of your best friends? pat and mat and cat

71. Craving something? What? death lol

72. What colour are your towels? most of them are shades of blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? two

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? yes

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? on my bed, like TEN

75. Favourite animal? I love penguins and bats and foxes and owls

76. What colour is your underwear? I think lilac

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? choc

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? bublegum

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? black :-(

80. What colour pants? grey

81. Favourite tv show? hannibal

82. Favourite movie? mmm idk spiderman

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? 1

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? 21 js

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? uh idk the weird gay one

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? that stoner sea turtle

87. First person you talked to today? cale

88. Last person you talked to today? ^

89. Name a person you hate? shae!

90. Name a person you love? cale

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? yeah

92. In a fight with someone? no

93. How many sweatpants do you have? 1

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? lots

95. Last movie you watched? tangled lol

96. Favourite actress? anna sophia robb or évelyne brochu

97. Favourite actor? mads mikkelson, hugh dancy tbh.

98. Do you tan a lot? ha! no.

99. Have any pets? :——(

100. How are you feeling? sleepy, paranoid

101. Do you type fast? yea

102. Do you regret anything from your past? of course

103. Can you spell well? yes

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? yes

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? yes

107. Have you ever been on a horse? no thanks

108. What should you be doing? sleeping

109. Is something irritating you right now? yes

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? my boy c-dawg

111. Do you have trust issues? ?

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? calé

113. What was your childhood nickname? elile, el, zach

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes

115. Do you play the Wii? oh yeah

116. Are you listening to music right now? yeah

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? yeah

118. Do you like Chinese food? yeah

119. Favourite book? hm, idk

120. Are you afraid of the dark? no

121. Are you mean? oh yeah

122. Is cheating ever okay? no i don’t think

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? i can’t keep any shoes clean :\

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? no

125. Do you believe in true love? not the usual concept of ir

126. Are you currently bored? thats why I’m doing this

127. What makes you happy? my boyfriend, being in the pit, playing piano, hugging dogs, being downtown at night, warm snowy days, sleeping on the bus, looking at the stars, being underwater

128. Would you change your name? i don’t think so

129. What your zodiac sign? virgo

130. Do you like subway? ya

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? yo that’s something I’m trying to figure out rn

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? cale

133. Favourite lyrics right now? if i haven’t had a good dream in about ten years are my dark days coming or are they here

134. Can you count to one million? why would i

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I always lie

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed

137. How tall are you? 5'2

138. Curly or Straight hair? I like when my hair isn’t straightened

139. Brunette or Blonde? i’m blonde, i like both

140. Summer or Winter? winter

141. Night or Day? night

142. Favourite month? october maybe

143. Are you a vegetarian? no, i don’t eat much meat

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? white

145. Tea or Coffee? tea

146. Was today a good day? eh

147. Mars or Snickers? mars

148. What’s your favourite quote? i like a lot of quotes

149. Do you believe in ghosts? idk

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line

“ the old woman came in” quality bukowski

[bby-n-blog]

1 - 125, u wont

1. What is your full name? Norma Alicia Lopez

2. What is your nickname? Norms

3. What is your zodiac sign? Virgo

4. What is your favorite book series? LOL TWILIGHT

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? Both

6. Who is your favorite author? Michael Faudet

7. What is your favorite radio station? Anything tbh

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? Does dick count? JK. Mint Chocolate. 

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? “OMG BITCH GUESS WHAT”

10. What is your current favorite song? Love on the Brain by Rihanna 

11. What is your favorite word? Puta

12. What was the last song you listened to? Marvins room by Drake

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? CRIMINAL MINDS AND BLACK MIRROR

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? Boy meets girl

15. Do you play video games? yessss 

16. What is your biggest fear? My ex coming back or someone breaking in while I’m home alone.

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? I’m a peoples person so I get along with many people.

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? I stay quiet when something is bothering me

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? WELLLLLL....BOTH BUT MORE LOVE FOR MY DOG JACK APPLE.

20. What is your favorite season? Summer

21. Are you in a relationship? No

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? Being pure.

23. Who is your best friend? Some puta named MIchelle Garcia since 2005 + my neighbor. @kz0ld + Carlos @arerrehsolrac

24. What is your eye color? Dark brown, almost black.

25. What is your hair color? Natural hair color is Chestnut Auburn 

26. Who is someone you love? Does sushi count?

27. Who is someone you trust? My 2 bffs Mich and Carlos

28. Who is someone you think about often? uhmmm...

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? FOR THE NEW RING COMING OUT

30. What is your biggest obsession? SUSHI AND FRIDA KAHLO

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? RUGRATS

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? Carlos my bff.

33. Are you superstitious? yess

34. Do you have any unusual phobias?Disposophobia – The fear of getting rid of stuff triggers extreme hoarding.

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? In front lol

36. What is your favorite hobby? drawing

37. What was the last book you read? Dirty Pretty Things

38. What was the last movie you watched? White Chicks

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? None.

40. What is your favorite animal? My Jack Apple

41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? I don’t have any yet :’( New blog.

42. What superpower do you wish you had? Reading minds + seeing into the future

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? Navy Pier dock

44. What makes you smile? Sushi or just the unexpected thoughts like visits..etc

45. What sports do you play, if any? Soccer and Volleyball

46. What is your favorite drink? Squirt the drink

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? To my ex.

48. Are you afraid of heights? yes. very much.

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? Loud chewing

50. Have you ever been to a concert? Yes

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? No

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? Artist 

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? Vampires and werewolves 

54. What is something you worry about? Everything `

55. Are you scared of the dark? Yeah

56. Do you like to sing? Lol yeah but I suck

57. Have you ever skipped school? LOL YESS

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? My room

59. Where would you like to live? Anywhere I can afford lol

60. Do you have any pets? Yes, my Jack Apple

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Both

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? uhm hard question. I like both tbh

63. Do you know how to drive? LOL DOES CRASHING COUNT?

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

65. Have you ever had braces? No, but I’m getting some this year.

66. What is your favorite genre of music? All types except screamo + dupstep

67. Who is your hero? My mom + grandma

68. Do you read comic books? Yes!

69. What makes you the most angry? Close minded people

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? both

71. What is your favorite subject in school? English

72. Do you have any siblings? Yes. 2 little brothers on my moms side and 1 little brother , 1 little sister and an older sister on my dads side.

73. What was the last thing you bought? Movie tickets to go watch Underwolrd Blood Wars with Carlos.

74. How tall are you? 4′11

75. Can you cook? LOL DOES GIVING YOU THE SHITS COUNT IF NOT, THEN NO LOL.

76. What are three things that you love? Art, Sushi and Frida. K

77. What are three things that you hate? Close minded, liars, and feet

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? A lot of female friends.

79. What is your sexual orientation? Bi.

80. Where do you currently live? Chicago

81. Who was the last person you texted? My friend Ivette

82. When was the last time you cried? Last night.

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? Kandee Johnson

84. Do you like to take selfies? Yes lol

85. What is your favorite app? Snapchat

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? Mom: Amazing and Dad???? Eh I can care less about him.

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? None I believe.

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? Paris

89. What is your favorite number? 11.

90. Can you juggle? No.

91. Are you religious? No.

92. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? Yes.

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? No.

94. Are you allergic to anything? Yes to Cats, dust and something else I can’t remember.

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yes I can even flip my tongue 180 degrees and turn it into a clover leaf.

96. Can you wiggle your ears?No

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? 24/7 even if it wasn’t my fault to make the other person shut up.

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Beach

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? Love and heal, you’re only human.

100. Are you a good liar? Lately, yeah.

101. What is your Hogwarts House? Godric Gryffindor

102. Do you talk to yourself? Sometimes

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert?extrovert

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? Yes, in my notes of my phone.

105. Do you believe in second chances? Yes. Sometimes I even give 14th chances.....

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? Find a way to return it. I hate stealing.

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Yes unless you’re close minded.

108. Are you ticklish? OMG FUCKEN YES

109. Have you ever been on a plane? Yeah :)

110. Do you have any piercings? 4 on my right ear and 2 on my left

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? Edward Cullen and Naruto lol

112. Do you have any tattoos? Yes, on my left upper bicep. Its pretty huge.

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? Taking a year off and getting healthy again.

114. Do you believe in karma? Yes.

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? Both 

116. Do you want children? Yes, 2.

117. Who is the smartest person you know? Yikes..

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? When I peed myself trying to run to the bathroom but my dog scared me.. happened 3 weeks ago....

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? Yes. Many times.

120. What color are most of you clothes? Black and Grey

121. Do you like adventures? Yes very much

122. Have you ever been on TV? Yes when they were showing the  caling people beautiful video.

123. How old are you? 19 going onto 20 this year.

124. What is your favorite quote? 

 “i was born a bitch.i was born a painter.” ― Frida Kahlo

and 

“You deserve a lover who wants you disheveled, with everything and all the reasons that wake you up in a haste and the demons that won’t let you sleep.You deserve a lover who makes you feel safe, who can consume this world whole if he walks hand in hand with you; someone who believes that his embraces are a perfect match with your skin.You deserve a lover who wants to dance with you, who goes to paradise every time he looks into your eyes and never gets tired of studying your expressions.You deserve a lover who listens when you sing, who supports you when you feel shame and respects your freedom; who flies with you and isn’t afraid to fall.You deserve a lover who takes away the lies and brings you hope, coffee, and poetry.” ― Frida Kahlo

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? Both.