#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo

[kindnessoverperfection]

Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.

NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.

I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.

The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.

Because it's so hard to exist in this world.

My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:

Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)

Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.

Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.

Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.

Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.

Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s

I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.

So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".

Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)

Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.

If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.

NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD

Stigma in the DSM

Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)

"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."

(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)

[louder-than-love]

1-100 pls 🙈

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I DIDNT EXPECT THIS but thanks for all the interest though lmao :D

1 - Who was the last person you texted?

if tumblr messages count then it was my sweet friend @way-beyond-wildest-imaginations :)

2 - When is your birthday?

10th of October

3 - Who do you want to be with right now?

a friend

4 - What sports do you play?

N O N E BECAUSE I’M L A Z Y

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts?

a friend called Ahsen

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment?

Sappy by Nirvana or Wo die wilden Maden graben by Casper

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?

someone who can help me get out of there as fast as possible

8 - What do you feel right now?

joy because I’m finally listening to the new Foo Fighters album and it’s amazing

9 - What chocolate is your favorite?

milk chocolate

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have?

0,00

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account?

end of January 2017, I don’t know the exact date right now sorry

12 - Who is your favorite blogger?

well, @rearviewmirror10 @rock-basstard @coolbuttmetal @wellwelldroogieboy post some quality stuff so I’d say they are my favourite bloggers? idk though

13 - Where do you want to be right now?

at a concert

14 - What do you want to be in the future?

happy and satisfied with myself :)

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why?

like 1 minute ago because Dave Grohl is perfect (yes I’m an ultimate fangirl)

16 - Are you happy?

sometimes more, sometimes less

17 - Who do you miss?

being thin lmao

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?

why not

19 - What was the best thing you were given?

my grandma bought me a so called “Lira”, which is a Turkish coin made out of gold and many Albanian girls get some of them when they get married, anyways she bought one for me before she died so I can wear it on a necklace or smth if I should ever get married and this is just one of the most precious things I ever received from someone.

20 - Who was the last person who called you?

my father’s friend haha

21 - What is your favorite dish?

pizza, lasagna, those Asian noodles... there’s a lot of stuff

22 - Who is your bestfriend?

on tumblr? @rearviewmirror10 @inside-a-break @wellwelldroogieboy @iowainc @way-beyond-wildest-imaginations they’re all really cool people and I like them a lot and it’s a pity that they’re all living like 1898873249874832km away from me

23 - What is your biggest regret?

I basically wasted my whole youth and I experienced like almost nothing and I feel like I’m going to regret this a lot later

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner?

which partner?

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?

my brother

26 - Name someone pretty

Stone Gossard

27 - Who was the last person you hugged?

I don’t remember, probably my friend

28 - What kind of music do you listen to?

mostly rock, metal and grunge. But also some hip-hop/rap idk I like a lot of stuff but that’s like what I listen to the most

29 - Are you over your past?

I think so?

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts?

my neighbour called Vivian

31 - What kind of person do you want to date?

someone who is nice and humourous, with a good heart and a kind soul, someone who I feel comfortable around and most importantly: someone who likes me back  (good joke huh)

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night?

most of the time

33 - From whom was the last text message you received?

my father

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?

JEANS hell no I don’t wear skirts

35 - How’s your heart?

idk? my physical heart ist fine I hope?

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?

no

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment?

I like Josh Klinghoffer :)

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?

i never had one

39 - Do you have any phobias?

not that I know

40 - Did you try to change for a person?

yes

41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone?

Well, a few friends and I bought a concert ticket for a friend for her 18th birthday earlier this year and she really really enjoyed it so that was probably it? But idk, I’m that type of person who rather gives smaller gifts

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?

never have been in one so

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?

In a neutral one tending towards happy because the new Foo Fighters album is so good

44 - Name someone you can’t live without.

my brother, I don’t know what I would do without him, life wouldn’t be the slightest bit enjoyable without him (I know this is cringey but it’s true)

45 - Describe your dream date.

watching tv shows, eating pizza and listening to music together? I’m not that much of a fancy person

46 - Describe your dream wedding

it would be perfect if John Frusciante was performing there and it would be even more perfect if I was marrying him lmaoooooo

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?

0,00

48 - Have you ever been kissed?

romantically? no. I’ve only had those little kisses you do with friends, nothing special

49 - How long is your longest relationship?

never been in one

50 - Do you regret your past?

some aspects of it

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?

yes

52 - Have you ever cried over someone?

yes

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?

no I don’t really hold grudges

54 - Are you a crybaby?

sometimes

55 - Do people praise you for your looks?

people only praise my shit hair and my flannel shirts because everything else on me is ugly

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?

yes

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?

yes

58 - Do you like getting hurt?

who the hell likes to get hurt lmao?

59 - Does anyone hate you?

probably

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?

no, I don’t slap people because violence doesn’t lead to anything

61 - What hair color do you prefer?

all of them, I’d like to have black or red hair though

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?

my appearance, my demotivation, my low self-esteem, I also wish I was less of a hypocrite because I tend to hide a lot of shit to not hurt anyone. I also wish I could be able to express what I honestly think of a situation/people/anything else without being afraid to do so, that shit only leads to a lot of bottled up anger and it sucks

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?

I love John Frusciante and Chris Cornell an Eddie Vedder

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?

who hasn’t?

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?

I’m not at school anymore heheh

66 - Can you live without internet?

NO like my whole social life is taking place on the internet at the moment

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?

Porch by Pearl Jam would remind me of my special someone IF I HAD ONE

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?

depends but not really

69 - Are you a crybaby?

sometimes

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?

yes many many times

71 - Are you a KPOP fan?

no

72 - Do you study hard?

not at all

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?

not yet but I would do this at any time

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?

I wish

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?

yes

76 - Did you have an accident last year?

luckily no

77 - What kind of person are you?

a person who is obsessed with music I guess

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?

yeah but I would NEVER do it

79 - Have you ever been jealous?

yeah

80 - How can you prove your love to someone?

by trusting them fully because I can’t trust anyone fully lmao

81 - What are you thinking right now?

“stop oversharing your stupid shit on tumblr bitch no one cares”

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?

my cousin Ajlin

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?

yeah

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?

i don’t know

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone?

many many times

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?

not really because I give in too fast in order to avoid conflicts

87 - Do you have trust issues?

kind of

88 - Are you broken-hearted?

not really

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”?

Courtney Love because Love is her last name and I wish it was mine too

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it?

no

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?

when I have an optimistic moment, then I do

92 - Who do you want to marry?

John Frusciante

93 - Do you believe in destiny?

not really

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?

yeah but I’m probably not right

95 - How do you look right now?

shitty as always lmao, but if you mean outfit then: I’m wearing a white baseball shirt with long grey sleeves and blue skinny jeans

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies?

not sure...

97 - Have you found your true love?

does John Frusciante count?

98 - What should you be doing right now?

sleeping

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.

Doesn’t Exist

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

yes