#no wonder most reenactors are older well off folk or younger people who’ve been brought up in it
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*incoherent screams of frustration and tears of exhaustion*
#I bloody hate Christmas#imposter syndrome was so bad at the christmas dinner too I wanted to curl up and die#everyone is very sweet so I can’t complain#but re-enactment is very much a rich persons hobby or at least independently wealthy#I may drop out of doing actual events which. sucks lol#but I can’t afford it#I haven’t been able to afford food for two weeks let alone a bloody uniform#I can still help out. managing the website and etc#but all the things I want to do and love to do I can’t afford#no wonder most reenactors are older well off folk or younger people who’ve been brought up in it#not to mention coming home and finding empty beer bottles littered everywhere#my mums coming tomorrow and shes ain’t given a time for arrival#I gotta work out sleeping arrangements get food clean the house do dishes etc#I just want to sleep?#I really really bloody hate Christmas for many many reasons#but stress of planning and getting shit in order is top of the list#christ#I want December to be Over#just depressed bc now I may not even get to meet up with this group when they’ve been so lovely bc… well fuck man.#just so much on my plate rn. I haven’t been able to relax. oh well. no choice but to do what needs doing#I just wish it wasn’t so much that needed doing#no wonder I’ve been having heart troubles
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