#nonbeliever by lucy dacus is so them i can't

[dykesbat]

playlist: you found the treasure chest made by you and your childhood friend (who you’ve lost contact with)

this name is so long agsjdhsh sorry lee

HELL YEAHHHHH!!

1. christmas island by lake "Come along with me / To a place beside the sea / We can wander through the forest / And do so as we please” the childhood memories! the adventures! the happy summers!!

2. day without you by keep for cheap "I don't wanna think about a day without you / Meet me later the midnight rendezvous / And wind and the trees they talk to me / Can't Remember what it's like to be carefree" more childhood memories! but the idea of separation seeps in “i don’t wanna think about a day without you”

3. nonbeliever by lucy dacus "If you find what you're looking for / Be sure to send a postcard / You promised you'd never forget / The little ones when you got big / You deal in unspoken debts / No kindness without wanting something back / What do I owe you? What did I forget? / Or are we even after all of that? / You shook my hand and said goodbye / You'll never let me see you cry again / What good has come from learning to pretend? / You said I could've been a better friend" the friend leaves, an argument ensues. you both realize that despite growing up alongside each other, you’ve both grown to be very very different people. 

4. the gold by manchester orchestra "Couldn't really love you any more / You've become my ceiling / I don't think I love you anymore / That gold mine changed you / You don't have to hold me anymore / Our cave's collapsing / I don't wanna be me anymore” the friendship’s getting taxing on both of your parts, this is your admission to yourself

5. i guess by mitski "I guess this is the end / I'll have to learn to be somebody else / It’s been you and me since before I was me / Without you, I don't yet know quite how to live / If I could keep anything of you / I would keep just this quiet after you / It's still as a pond I am staring into / From here, I can say, 'Thank you'" its been a while and you’re still grieving your friendship but it’s gotten to a place where you can acknowledge it lightly. it’s not exactly all painful anymore. you end up moving out of your hometown.

6. hot & heavy by lucy dacus “Being back here makes me hot in the face / Hot blood in my pulsing veins / Heavy memories weighing on my brain / Hot and heavy in the basement of your parents' place / You used to be so sweet / Now you're a firecracker on a crowded street / Couldn't look away even if I wanted / Try to walk away but I come back to the start” you come back one year to visit your relatives and all the memories and nostalgia come back. you were together for the entirety of your childhood, you can’t help but remember their face everywhere.

7. it all comes back from fun home “It all comes back / It all comes back / It all comes back!There’s you / And there’s me / But now I’m the one who’s forty-three / And stuck / I can’t find my way through! / Just like you / Am I just like you?” you’re in your room and the memories of both of you, childishly playing floods your mind. you wonder, distantly, if you’re still both so different (you wonder if you were ever all that different). you don’t even remember why you fought.

8. pathways by ezra glatt “Oh Avalon, although you'll never hear this song / I just wanted you to know that I'm still here... / ...Do you remember on that road trip / Under the grey Virginia skies? / You told me love is but a weakness / A future heartache in disguise” you spot it in the closet, hidden deep behind clothes and other trinkets, a box you both decorated when you found out about time capsules. your memories held gently like a treasure. you wonder if they think of you, if they have anything physical to remember you by.

9. christmas island by lake "Come along with me / To a cliff under a tree / Where we can gaze upon the water / As an everlasting dream / All of my affections / I give them all to you / Maybe by next summer / We won't have changed our tunes/” you open the box. “maybe by next summer we won’t have changed our tunes” here takes a bittersweet meaning bc we know how the friendship developed

10. old friend by mitski "We nearly drowned / For such a silly thing / Someone who loves me now / Better than you... / ... I haven't told anyone / Just like we promised / Have you? / Every time I drive through the city where you're from / I squeeze a little" you finally remember what you were arguing about. it seems much smaller now. you still wonder about them and make a half-conscious decision to reach out. pen in hand you draft a letter.

11. we'll meet again by vera lynn "So will you please say "Hello" to the folks that I know / Tell them I won't be long / They'll be happy to know that as you saw me go / I was singing this song / We'll meet again / Don't know where, don't know when / But I know we'll meet again some sunny day" you won’t get a response for a while. but something tells you the tale of you and your friend won’t end just there.