#none of my new followers have seen that art and i couldn't be more grateful it is So Old and so Hurts Me

[springlock-suits]

Amazing how much old willry art I have but now that I have more followers, several of which I know enjoy willry. I haven't Made anything. I should redraw my willry art it physically hurts to look at

[ihatedtoadmit]

The Windows To My Soul [2]

pairing: OT8 x fem! reader

genre: soulmates, angst, fluff, crack

warnings: Please read the 'Summary' of this series, all are listed there!

word count: ~2.3k

summary: The two aussies chat with you as some distraction, although anxiety seeps through once you reach their hotel, a strange pain blooming in your ribcage.

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All rights reserved. Please do not steal, repost or feed my work into AI. Thank you!

"So, Eevee, d’ya live around here?" - Chan asked, as if sensing my derailing thoughts and the distraction I desperately needed. "Haha, naur, Iiii actually come from a really small european country. Very far away from here." "Oh? You're not japanese? You spoke it well, I thought… Anyways, I've always wanted to visit more countries there! Which one are you from?"

I looked at their expecting expressions and desperately held my tongue, trying not to say that BTS actually knew the capital of my country, surprisingly.

"Eh, you wouldn't know anyway, don't worry about it." "Ahw, bummer. Then can ya talk in your mother language for a bit?" - Felix asked with puppy eyes, my heart unable to say no as I lightly chuckled. "Alright, but what should I say?" "How about… Imma catch them all!"

I immediately snorted, slightly shaking my head at the pokemon reference. I looked at Chan to see if he minded, but he simply shook his head with crescent-shaped eyes.

"Alright, here goes. Szerezd meg hát mind!"

Yeah, they looked really fucking confused at me, causing me to burst out in laughter.

"I told you you wouldn't know it!" "I-, well, ya were right, I have not heard that language before." "Neither have I, it sounds weird. Chris, now ya say something, c'mon!"

And for the next few minutes they kept giving me phrases and words, just so I could translate them to my native language. Even chat was confused, none of them getting it right. But they tried, language names flying across the poor phone's screen at a fast pace.

They stopped eventually, the boys giving me some space and talking to the chat in korean -i was grateful for that-, later on saying goodbye to STAY as well. I waved along with them, careful not to have my face seen. It was tiring, to constantly keep it in my mind and position myself accordingly, because I was taller than both the boys and they were the ones holding the phone. So I had to tilt my head slightly downwards at all times, well, if I wanted to remain anonymous that is. And I sure fucking wanted to.

"Alright, we're not far from the hotel now."

Ah, so we had walked so much already. I glanced back subtly out of instinct, checking if the other man -probably their bodyguard or a manager- was still there. Sure enough, he was, positioned just right so he was never in the range of their camera. 

Looking back in front of me after walking for a good 15 minutes or more, I was met with a tall building, most probably a hotel, based on the aesthetic and glowing signs.

I took a deeper breath as I looked up at it, noticing a deep, dull pain in my chest. Thinking I probably fell on it or that my body was just doing its usual randomly hurting thing, I ignored it, sadly quite familiar with the art of pushing away slight pain to the back of my mind.

The boys -and it felt weird to think of them like that so casually- stepped in, Chan holding the door open for me as they started chatting in english. A notion that warmed my heart and calmed my fried nerves, even if only slightly.

They involved me in their chatter a few times, but the anxiety of meeting new people -fucking idols at that- started catching up to me, making me retreat back to my shell and become even quieter than usual. I couldn't help it, I was not a socially well-versed person. Maybe that was why I loved Jisung so much. Birds of a feather and all that.

As if sensing my anxiety, they stopped near a door -probably theirs- and turned around, facing me, who just followed them silently, even in and out of the elevator. I zoned out for the ride, body on mindless auto-pilot.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay. They're all friendly and great people, if not too loud. But I'll ask them to take it back a notch today for ya, ‘kay?" - Chan gently said, his words but a quiet whisper. "Yeah, it'll be fine. You're safe here, nobody's gonna do anything to you. Maybe only make ya laugh at bad jokes." -Felix added in with a slight curve of his lips, and I couldn't help but quietly snort at that.

Their smiles both widened in response, expressions turning even more gentle, if that was even somehow possible.

One thing I had caught though was that through the whole thing, Felix's hands were awkwardly moving a bit, hovering in the air sometimes, as if he wanted to grasp onto something, but was unsure about it. Being a STAY, I knew some things about him, like how physically affectionate he was and how it was one of his biggest languages of affection. Slowly putting two and two together, I finally realised he had wanted to touch my hand that wasn't tucked away in my jacket's pocket, unsure if it would grant me comfort or do the exact opposite.

Smiling gently under my scarf, I nodded at them -causing my cap's ears to move, i could see how they glanced at it in amusement-, indicating that I was okay and as ready as I could ever be.

They nodded as well, turning around and going through the door. Glancing back once more, I found no one in the corridor besides us, the bodyguard having left us silently sometime. I furrowed my brows at that, unsure how I hadn’t noticed it happening.

A deep voice calling out to me snapped me back to reality, Felix's head peeking out the doorway to glance at me, worry dancing on his features. I quickly apologised quietly and strode towards him, my legs halting once I reached their doorway.

I felt like an intruder.

It didn't feel right to just go into their hotel room, especially when I knew who they were, without them knowing about it.

I felt guilty, and like a horrible burden.

My unsure hand found Felix's hoodie, as if I was a child grasping onto their parents' clothing. It immediately grabbed his attention, his body now fully standing before me with his attention devoted solely to me.

I didn't deserve it.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. Ya don't have to meet them all now, or at all, we can work around it, if that makes ya feel better." - his deep voice soothed me, hushing my nervous inner child.

I gently shook my head, not wanting to cause them even more problems by having them dance around me.

"I just… I'm not the most social person, sorry. I just don't want to be a bother to you guys, not even more after all you’ve done already." - I whispered out, afraid of voicing my thoughts as I just looked at the ground, the shiny tiles now looking way more interesting than anything else around me.

His hands found mine, gently squeezing it in comfort before he spoke once more.

"Ya really aren't a bother, trust me. And me and the guys can carry the conversation for you, ya don't even have to join it if ya don't wanna."

I looked down into his warm eyes, finding their shine comforting and genuine.

Gosh, he really was sunshine incarnate.

"You remind me of one of my friends, he has social anxiety too. So don't worry, the guys will understand, really." - he smiled at me before he turned around, making me melt at his care.

I could merely nod and let him guide me into the room at last, Chan most probably wondering where we'd been for so long. But no, there was no sign of him, only his voice could be heard from somewhere deeper in the place.

Felix told me where I could put my jacket and lil backpack after I had taken my boots off, his petite form quickly disappearing from my sight.

I just stood there in my full outfit -minus the boots-, blinking at the place where he had been not even a second ago.

How the fuck did he just do that? Was I so out of it, or did he turn into Sonic the hedgehog in front of my very eyes?

Before I could get back on track and actually get my now too warm jacket off -i was starting to sweat at that point, both from the heat and nervousness-, that little, now maskless menace appeared before me with the baby bread in tow.

"Oh my god!" - Jeongin exclaimed once he had laid eyes on me, his eyes roaming my form before settling on the long ears of my Eevee cap. "Right? So cute!"

They started gushing about it in korean, the little gamers. I just watched them for a bit, before getting an idea.

Taking my cap off and carding a hand through my now very messy hair -although the motion never truly tamed it-, I offered the cap up in their direction after shaking it out a bit. They quieted down, asking if they really could take it in a hushed tone, as if they didn't believe me and my actions. Of course I nodded once again, watching as their smiles lit up their whole faces.

They were like little kids, I swear. And I was younger than them, even if not by a lot, but still…

Either way, I had finally torn my eyes away from the two and took my bag, jacket and scarf off as I was turned away from them, facing the closed front door. I quickly crouched down and searched around in my bag, taking out and putting on a regular, blue hospital facemask I had stashed in there.

No way in hell was I comfortable sitting amidst all those pretty people with my face, even though I had makeup on.

Being done, I stood up and turned around, closing my eyes as I ruffled up my long hair and tried to tame it into its usual place. Amidst that, I simply heard a 'Woah', my eyes popping open and drawn towards the slightly slack-faced Felix. I raised an eyebrow at him, not understanding his behaviour.

"Just, uh, that's quite a vibe change ya got there."

Looking down, I realised what he had meant. Because compared to my quite cute Eevee outfit, I now had all black, form hugging clothes on with almost no skin showing. The accessories I had on were either black or silver too, usually with chains or other 'edgy' motifs on them as well.

Yeah, not exactly cute, as one would say.

But compared to my dark looks, I merely sheepishly rubbed at my nape and looked away, slightly shrugging my shoulders. I felt a bit bad for giving a deceiving first impression, if that made sense, because I never really dressed cutesy and girly, no matter what anyone else wanted or told me it looked good on me.

They both snorted at that, muttering something in korean, before Felix gently took my hand and started dragging me away. Our destination was most probably where the others had gathered, based on how their voices got louder and louder with each step. But throughout our walk, Felix's hold was gentle, something I could easily break free from if I felt the need arise. I couldn't help the lil appreciative squeeze of his hand I had sent him for that.

Entering the living room -because that was the most fitting title i could find for it-, my eyes met with the entire cast of Stray Kids -minus the two accompanying me-, all huddled together on the giant, L-shaped couch. Their heads snapped up to me when Felix announced our presence and released my hand, my form turning rigid in response. Chan -with no mask on- was searching for my gaze, smiling at me once I’d met his eyes.

It didn't help as much as it could have.

They spoke about something in korean, probably introducing me, based on the word Eevee I’d heard and how Felix gestured towards me. I deeply bowed at them, my hands clutched together in front of my form nervously as I tried not to think about how much I wanted to just straight up disappear into the surface of the planet.

The aussies rushed to say I didn't need to be so formal, the others probably saying the same in korean as they raised their hands in protest. Some even almost stood up from their seats.

Great fucking going me, I made them uncomfortable on our first meeting, wonderful.

After each member introduced themselves, some with more sentences and some with less, they gestured for me to sit down. But that meant choosing a seat, and I felt uncomfortable doing that. I didn't want to sit too close for both of our sakes, but I also couldn't sit too far, they would think I hated them or something.

Dear god, why was this so hard? Stupid anxiety.

Eventually, I sat down near one end of the couch, while Jeongin and Felix attacked the already sitting members for cuddles. Mostly Felix, Jeongin just wanted to be a menace and fuck around.

I awkwardly sat there, watching them interact as I kept glancing around the room, from the ground to each member. Minho was intently staring at me, probably analysing if I was a threat or not, but nobody really knew what was truly going on inside his head. So I simply glanced away, fighting with my rising nervousness and that pain in my chest.

Gods, it was becoming worse, did I land on a rib or something?

Next chapter

[sugar-and-pearls]

"It has been said before that the second Princess Helaena was fond of Lady in waiting. The two were neigh inseparable since girlhood, often found side by side. The list of companion jewellery the two shared are near countless and though Princess Helaena avoided touch from all others she was often seen to link arms with Lady Megette.

A portrait, commission by their husband Jacaerys Velaryon, shows us their normal life. Reportedly a sacred place for Megette, it was customary when in the red keep to find them in the Godswood, under the Weirwood. It depicts the first four children born from their marriage;

Gaemon was the first and only one born to Lady Megette at this time. Nicknamed "Palehair" for his striking white hair, it was said that he had inherited the snow white hair of his Valyrian ancestors. Like his father before him, rumours of bastardry spread among court, stating neither Prince Aemond or Prince Aegon as the boy's father. When told of this, it is reported that all Lady Megette could do was laugh. "I wouldn't like lie with Aemond if he was the last man on earth," Next born were the twins, Jaehaerys and Jaehaera, birthed from the Princess Helaena. Born in the same year as their half brother, no one questioned the parentage of these children, the greens readily proclaimed at court. Like with their brother, a dragon's egg was placed in each child's cradle, and two hatchlings soon came forth. Yet all was not well with these new twins. When born Jaehaera was tiny and she was slow to grow. She did not cry, she did not smile, nor did none of the things that a babe was meant to do. Her twin brother Jaehaerys, whilst larger and more robust, was also less perfect than was expected of a Targaryen princeling, boasting six fingers on his left hand, and six toes upon each foot. Last was the little Prince Maelor, also born from Princess Helaena. It is known that the little prince admired both his elder brothers and soon as he could walk, he began following Gaemon and Jaehaerys around everywhere he went. When not following his brothers, Maelor could often be found with his mother and stepmother, a finely crafted toy beetle in hand as the two woman spoke among themselves. Only time would tell of the great deeds and events these Targaryens would have a hand in and the way fates would twine them in. But for now, they are but children, running around in a Godswoods playing at being dragons.

-An excerpt from 'Fire & Blood, Being a History of the Targaryen Kings of Westeros' by Archmaester Gyldayn

Art was done by the fabulous @viviartsy. They were very kind to me when I couldn't decide what I wanted to commission and talked me through my ideas. I know this was a difficult challenge for her and I am so grateful that she decided to take this on. I would highly recommend checking out her stuff if you are interested, her na'vi art is the die for.

[agustdiv1ne]

thank you + milestone!!

damn, never thought we'd get here, did we?

in all honesty, it's been a pretty shit year. march 'til now has felt like the same month on repeat with tiny tweaks to make it all so much worse. but i'm not here to complain about the worst parts of this year, i'm here to celebrate the best ones.

this was the year that i finally started writing, that i was finally spurred to open a google doc and just type away until a tiny work of fiction stared back at me. my first one was 1k words, a rant to get all of my emotions off of my chest with an idol as my muse. it felt...great, though it also felt a bit odd writing after being an avid reader for years. i always did prefer essays to creative writing, but this year definitely changed that perspective.

i wrote that first blurb along with another fic in late july, and in early august, i asked my friends if i should post them. om august 3rd, i changed this blog from a fic rec to a fic writing blog just like that. i regret none of it.

it's been nearly five months since i revamped this blog and i couldn't be more grateful for the support i have gotten from all of you, whether it be a kind comment, a like, a reblog, all of it. i never thought anyone would like my content, but i've been proven severely wrong by this community. from my irls that are on here, to my lovely mutuals and followers, to those i've talked to a lil bit on this hellsite, to the writers whose fics i absolutely adore, to those who have left a like or a comment on one of my fics, i want to say thank you from the very bottom of my heart ♡

have a happy and healthy new year! i love and appreciate every single one of you!!

though i'm painfully bad at writing letters and getting all sappy, i wanted to write them anyways hahaha let's goooo

to @hwaddict:

my irl best friend!! my partner in crime!!!! i love you sm carly, and there are not enough words in this world for me to describe the extent of my love. you have been there for me during my lowest moments, you've seen me cry, and i don't cry in front of many ppl. i trust you with my life and i'm so glad that we became friends back in middle school bc you are one reasons that spur me to keep going. i can't wait to see where life takes us and know that while i might not always be able to be there physically (especially with college right around the corner), i will always be there for you in any way i can be. again i love you and i can't wait to conquer next year with you ♡♡

to @hopejanaee:

hope!! hobi!!! one of my irls! though we just became friends earlier this year, it feels like we've been friends for ages. it's crazy how close we grew so quickly but i am so grateful to have you in my life. you never fail to make me laugh whenever we're together and you're so chaotic but in such a good way hahaha. you were the one who got me into writing with your own wonderful fics so thank yoi for that. i'm so happy that we became friends because you're so kind and caring and ahhhhhh i love u sm ♡

to @oikawasmilkbread:

we talked for like 0.2 seconds but you are so kind and hella cool!! it was nice having random conversations with you and i'm so glad you randomly dmed me bc i am shy and i have 0 idea how to start conversations with anyone lmao. i always smile when i see you in my notifs! i hope you have a happy new year!!! ♡

to @luthenia:

i know you're on hiatus but seeing you in my notifs always excites me hahaha. we never talk but you are so supportive of everyone in this community and i just wanted to shout you out for that! your memes are top tier LMAO and i can't wait for when you come back, happy new year ♡

to @starsforten:

we also talked for approximately 1 second but it was so fun talking to you about astrology stuff (virgo sun libra rising gang hahahaha) and those teuta matoshi dresses! you are so nice and easy to talk to and i hope your new year is happy and fruitful! ♡

i recommend every single one of these blogs for their amazing content!! i added some of my favorite fics as i'm a whore for great writing hahaaaa

@kinktae

waterloo — a masterpiece! taehyung is so bitter at the beginning and it's adorable seeing how y/n breaks his tough shell. loved this from beginning to the end ♡

hot rod — the 50s slang, the dynamic between hoseok and y/n...*chef's kiss*

@untaemedqueen

welcome to seoul land — werewolf!namjoon really got me going, 100/10 would recommend

graceful gods — this is one of my all-time favorites, greek god!jungkook has my brain going brrrr

@shadowsremedy + @therealmintedmango

support system — adorable!! this is a hybrid!yoongi fic i really enjoy, and the series isn't over yet! check it out~

@bratkook

tear you apart — demon!taehyung...holy shit. i was speechless

@tatertotthethot

the doms next door — THIS SERIES OMG, i've read each part at least five times already. taekook got me acting UP

scream (posted to @yandere-society) — a really cool take on the movie scream with jungkook, yandere fics don't always appeal to me but this one absolutely did

@ateezmakemeweep

broken — the immense ache i felt in my chest while reading this, but i loved both parts with a burning passion. san is so sweet in this :')

@atinybrew

dirty free for all — the ULTIMATE demon!san fic. the writing is absolutely immaculate and this is the first fic that had me blushing down my mf ARMS

rice milk lattes and bryophytes roads — another san fic admittedly because i'm whipped for san lol. anyways, this was cute and hot at the same time and best friend!yunho made my double biasing ass that much happier

@seacottons

pan — an adorable peter pan!hongjoong fic, it had my heart going achhfhsjfjsjf

sir kiss me — circus au with san holy hell i loved every twist and turn of this

@actuallythatwaspromise

bad romance — one of my favorite yunho fics ever, punk rock!yunho x nerd!reader has my entire heart

aurora garden center and desire ink — florist!mingi had me uwuing for the entire fic, this was adorable and i loved it sm

@yeonjuncore

every single fic on this blog is an absolute masterpiece, i swear

the devil's little angel — THIS IS ONE OF MY ULTIMATE FAVORITES, demon!yeonjun had me screaming and it was just so fun to read and i loved every single second of it so much that i've read it nearly ten times now. so go read it, you won't regret it!

the boy with the horns — another of my ultimate favorites (i told you, their writing is just that amazing), woodland fey!soobin just had me going so soft :(( i literally sobbed at one point, that's how invested i was

bleeding heart — the tension between vampire!yeonjun and vampire slayer!reader had me screeching

curtain call — i have a sad crush vampire!soobin

i love you, always — this felt so..bittersweet? taehyun loves y/n so much, i lowkey cried while reading this

@angelfic

the art of (mis)communication — i am a whore for both reconciliation and yeonjun, 100000/10 pls read this i beg of you

@angelictaehyun

growing pains — ahhh once again a yeonjun fic, my chest hurt a lil bit at some points but it was so sweet!!

@neovisioned

bed of spiderwebs — spiderman!mark has my heart screeching, i loved every second of it ♡

eddie ate dynamite — johnny suh coming for my throat yet again

cupid victorious — cupid!jaehyun :'))) definitely one of my favorites!!

@domjaehyun

quarantine chronicles — ok if you haven't read this or the part two yet then you're missing out big time!! the tension, the buildup, every single part of this fic was just *chef's kiss* but multiply thay by a million

all these years — every single moment of this felt so nostalgic and the ending was so sweet :')

@caiuscassiuss

muse — i keep going back to this one constantly, the angst in this phenomenal and i love artist!taeyong sm here

@neoct-zen

loverboy — HOT, AMAZING, I SCREAMED. the blurbs that accompany this are also top-tier i recommend reading each and every one!!

@moondustis

pink + white — i'm so soft for mark i stg, this was the cutest thing ever

@loviejaehyun

can't avoid this feeling — hockey player!mark is the best thing ever

all tied up — i just- screamed as i read this bc professor!jaehyun is too hot goodbye

@hopejanaee

incapable — this is one of the best yoongi fics i've ever read ngl, it's not completed quite yet but the parts that have been posted are top tier!!

breathless — THIS. I LOVED THIS. yuta is just so hfjshhfhshfnsn and i love this sm

@hwaddict

melting point — big boy mingiiii, 100/10 would recommend

@okayau

house next to mine — frat boy!yeonjun rly got me going, cute and hot at the same time ahhhhbfnsnnf

youth — ADORABLE, yeonjun's confession is peak i love it here

run away — how many yeonjun fics can i fit in this post? (answer: a lot) definitely one of my favorite harry potter aus!! it was awesome seeing how their relationship changed throughout the years and perhaps i teared up a little at the end :'))

@starrychannies

baby steps — ONE OF ALL-TIME MY FAVORITE FICS ON THIS SITE, every single part is so well-written and ahhhhhfhdhhf chan makes me feel some type of way

my stupid — another yeonjun fic! angsty but v cute at the end :')

@baekhvuns

this youth of craziness — 40k words of pure gold, this fic is absolutely one of my favorite san fics ever!!

replacement — prince!ten makes my brain go brrrr, i love how the y/n just speaks her mind here

@masterninjacow

untitled project — i saw soulmate au with mark and i knew would already love it, and i did! pizza boy!mark at that, amazing and i adored it

more amazing blogs!!: @galaxteez, @poutybinz, @lustjoong, @bloominghigh

these are just a few of the fics and blogs i found this year, find more on my fic rec blog @agustdiv1ne-recs!! (my thumbs are starting to hurt i'm so sorry bfjshfhsh)

wrapping up each month since august since that's when i actually started posting LMAO

☆ august

03: good enough — chan

03: bloodsucker — seonghwa

04: cutie — san

09: veloxrotaphobia — mingi

19: want — changbin

21: numb — yunho

100 follower special — i reached 100 followers towards the end of august, my first ever milestone :') also my first ever time taking requests, 'twas very fun ♡

☆ september

03: on camera — jungkook

☆ october

27: oh, worm? — namjoon

31: demon days — san

☆ november

10: a letter to my love — xiaojun

23: bad for u — jaehyun

27: home sweet home — yeonjun

☆ december

christmas bash 2020 — my brain went hey what if you did this- and i listened so here's 17 holiday fics hahahaa (not all of them are out yet but i'm working on it!!)

things i plan to release in 2021!!

☆ sunflower — jimin

☆ cross — yeonjun

☆ landslide — seonghwa

☆ nice save — san

☆ red — hyunjin

☆ a secret series (that will be revealed once i plan everything) — ateez

☆ 4 unrelated secret fics oOoOoo — will i reveal them? you'll just have to wait and see ;)

there will definitely be more posted! these are the ones that are going to be my priority at first, but my imagination is always churning so expect a lot more :)) check out all of non-secret wips here!

i hit 500 followers a couple days ago! i nearly screamed when i saw that LMAO. thank you so much for liking my content because i work hella hard on it :') sometimes i feel like i don't deserve y'all really, but @hwaddict will yell at me if i say that so ig i take it back hfhshhdhg

a post for celebrating this milestone will come as soon as i finish up the rest of my christmas fics!! sorry that i'm so slow :( (hint: my requests will be open, so look out for it!)

so yeah!! that's it, sorry for the painfully long post (i'm sorry to my thumbs for typing this whole thing out </3). thank you to everyone who read this far!! i hope everyone has a happy and healthy new year, and in the words of txt's cover, fuck 2020. may 2021 be a much better year for all of us!!!

much love,

ashlee ♡