#not for 65 fucking dollars a book I don’t Jesus Christ

[mzcain27]

It’s 5 in the morning I should be asleep but I’m trying to decide which editions of stormlight archive to get

[kitkatkeithkogane]

all 104 asks :)))

JESUS H. CHRIST. ALRIGHT HERE YOU GO THEN AL OH MY GOD. YOU BETTER DO YOURS TOO OR ELSE I’M COMING FOR YOU. 

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? Oh man the last person I texted was my friend Lilly and I don’t know her that well so I’d probably say “how did I get here and where are my clothes.” 

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?We’re tight, we send each other memes everyday. Shout out to my boi Zac

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?It depends the drug I guess. Like weed? Tight. Crack cocaine? Um maybe, like, not so tight 

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?Yeah it’s eight 

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?I was sober af 

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?I liked a straight girl for a long time, but I didn’t so much mess it up as it was never there to begin with since she’s….. y’know straight 

7. What does your last received text say?It’s the little emoticon of that girl holding out her hand. You know. The slay girl? The girl that looks like she’s saying yaaaaass. That one. 

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?Just once. Once again shout out to my boi Zac

9. Where was your last kiss at?In my car listening to stairway to heaven because I know how to woo a man 

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?I don’t have any siblings, I’m an only child

11. What do you drink in the morning?Water. I’m a slut for hydration 

12. Where did you sleep last night?My apartment. 

13. Do you think relationships are hard?Oh hell yeah boi, but if it’s with the right person it’s worth it. 

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?Yah, every single decision I ever made 

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?Nah it’s my boi Zac, we’d probs just look at memes 

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?I like both! But sometimes too much rain can depress me 

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?Oh hell yeah my girl Lilly from question 1, also my old tennis doubles partner Veronica. 

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?Pj pants, It’s 1am

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?Honestly who the fuck knows my dude 

20. Does anyone like you?I don’t think so 

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?Nope, can’t say that I’ve had

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?Nah my boi Zac is straight

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?Yeah a shit ton.

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?Yes! I want one on my thigh and goddamn it I’m gonna get it 

25. In the past week have you cried?Yeah everyday actually lol, I have depression  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? Ah I actually just saw one like an hour ago! I think he was a boxer, like a tiny boxer. 

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?In the shower, I hate it when my wet feet touch the carpet is that weird? 

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? 

I have indeed actually 

29. Do you think you’re old?Nah. Maybe. Slightly old. I’m 20

30. Do you like text messaging?Hell yeh I like a good text 

31. What type of day are you having?Really chill, hung out with a friend and had taco bell

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?Yeah I’ve thought about it but I don’t have anything pierced so I don’t think I’ll ever do it ha 

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?Probably warm weather, I live in Florida so I’ve never really experienced cold, cold weather. 

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?Ummmmm, my boi Zac? 

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?Relationship 

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?Complicated. I don’t even understand my damn self. Who the fuck is she and why she gotta be so damn annoying. 

37. What song are you listening to?Nothing, silence. But I will say the song I’m currently in love with right now is Two Fux by Adam Lambert, that shit is amazing.

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?Oh hell yeah. I say it a lot but I mean it every time.

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?Um like my mom?

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?I really don’t like anyone right now to be honest.

41. When did you last receive a text message?Um 6:34pm from my girl Lilly

42. What is wrong with you right now?Lol dude so much.

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?Not that well but well enough to like be comfortable around her.

44. Does anyone disgust you?The current president of the United States, That weasel from back at the barnyard. Idk that guy just freaks me out.

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?Probably not, maybe when I’m in better control of myself

46. Are you in a good mood right now?Yeah I’m chillin

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?My friend Dominique

48. What color shirt are you wearing?Black!

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?YEAH ALEX TELLING ME TO DO ALL OF THESE ASKS. I’M LOOKING AT YOU.

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?My owN DAMN SELF. Shit.

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?Nah she’s cool.52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?Ummmm yeah I’ve had that happen before.

53. Do you like rain?Yeah I do, it’s soothing.

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?Nah

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?What else are you supposed to do when you like someone?

56. Do you like to cuddle?Yeah I do but not with like anybody I gotta be tight with you first.

57. Are you shy?People tell me that I am but I hate that.

58. Do you get along with girls?Oh hell yeah I love girls. Platonically and very un-platonically

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?My girl Lilly?? Nah we just friends.

60. What do you carry with you at all times?Probably my phone

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?Oh hell yeah!! I love creepy shit. I might cry a little though. But who wouldn’t, ya know?

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?Yeah I have before.

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?Nope.

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?Very, I’d probably finger gun at them.

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?Ummm me and my friend Dominique stayed up reading fanfic together, I thought that was cute. 66. How old are the last three people you kissed?Hoo boy. Um 18, 21, and 20. 67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    I mean I love getting my nails done but that’s too expensive.

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    I fuck with a leopard print.

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    Nope, just a parking decal haha

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    Lil Wayne. I used to go to school with a boy named Lil Wayne. Shout out to my boi Lil Wayne.

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    iPhone, bish

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?   Like a week ago on my birthday  

73. Do you like diet soda?    Nope, I don’t like soda.

74. What color are the walls in your room?    At my apartment they’re white, at my house they’re coral, heh.

75. Are you 16 or older?    ]Yup, I’m 20

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?  Nope but I read all the books. I think Emily is the reason why I’m bi lol  

77. Do you have a job?    Nope I’m hella unemployed

78. What are your initials?  MMZ  

79. Did you ever have braces?    Nope

80. Are you from the south?    I mean I live in Florida but I was born in California81. What does your last status on facebook say?    I have no idea, I haven’t opened that shit in years.

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    Yeah! He’s a great guy! He’s gay now tho lol

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    My mom

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    I’ve done gymnastics, I can do I handstand. That means I’m hip.

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    Spider-Man Homecoming!

86. Do you smoke?    Nahh

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?  Flip Flops, I got high arches, you kno?  

88. Is your phone touch screen?    Why yes it is.

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    It’s naturally a little wavy so I guess wavy

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    Nah are you kidding? I’d get killed by my mom. How do kids do that shit? No really I want to know.

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?  Hmmmmmm probably a river  

92. Have you ever made out in a car?    Why yes, yes I have

93. …Had sex in a car?    No girl

94. Are you single or in a relationship?    I’m huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu single

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    Um on tumblr just scrollin

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    Driving to my apartment! I saw the Disney fireworks ha.

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?  Yeah I love it, it’s great.  

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?   Umm…. Yes, yes I have. Heh.  

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    No, but there was this one time I drank so much that I started crying in this random guys lap because I was mad the room wouldn’t stop moving. Good times.

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    Honestly idk I don’t even use facebook

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    God no, and I hope I never do pls god hear my prayer

102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    Um gotta be Blow, I love that song

103. Do you have any tan lines right now? Omg I have flip flop tan lines don’t judge me    

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?  Hell yeah. Yee haw mother fuckers.

[illskeleton-blog]

Alien Fan Fiction

-The void was silence, darkness, and death. As the cold, unforgiving, vacuum continued it's cosmic ballet; an interloper moved through it as a dead, steel, coffin. Within this giant coffin slept the crew of the U.S.C.S. Musashi. A refitted military ship, it was equipped with a second generation FTL drive (faster than light). As they slept the powerful artificial intelligence systems kept most systems on standby or even shut down. Unlike most military vessels, the dropships and apv bay was filled with survey equipment. Within the armory lay their mining and demolition gear; explosives, laser cutters, plasma torches, and small arms munitions for the occasional indigenous creatures. Approximately moving 1.75 times light speed, the sleepers dreamt as their cold, calculated, and logical pilot guided them to their destination. Suddenly, as if the overture of the dead arising, terminals began to light up and display vital functions. "Destination Threshold...Destination Threshold...Destination Threshold" a robotic voice called over the intercoms as the artificial gravity began to overcompensate for the rapid declination in velocity. Cups, bottles, canisters, and anything not tied down; shofted from the release of inertia. Now, as if one glorious lotus bloomed, the freezers began to open. One by one, the dead sleepers awoke with the ship. "Jesus Muthr, why can't these company pricks remember it's cold as fuck after a freeze. At least warm up the bedroom." Griffin was the engineering technician, not a position of authority but, he did carry nearly 10 years of experience. His coal black hair was matted to the side of his head after 2 years in the freezer. As he sat up he was greeted only by the fuzzy glaze of what he called "human antifreeze" a viscous fluid at room temperature, it became more like petroleum jelly when one was in the freezers. It held a small amount of body heat within the sleepers to prevent cryothermia and frostbite. Wiping away the goo, Griffin slowly blinked as the mucus membranes all flooded his sinuses and tear ducts. Typical symptoms from hypersleep he carefully stood up and almost screamed as his bare feet met the cold, plasteel floor. The next to awaken was Gorman, her strawberry blonde hair looked like something out of a Lovecraftian horror as she sat up "Because the company cuts every corner it can unless it's a high level exec. And we, Griffin, aren't even minnows in their sea of sharks." She too hated the long hauls but loved the money. Paid a salary of credits along with backpay for transit, bonuses for salvage, and full health benefits; she could at least live comfortably. As she left her frozen sarcophagus of a bed, she yelled out "The least they could do is provide footwear." "Quit griping you two, it's not like it'll make a difference." Came the annoyed first words from Schumacher, the liason Marine Sergeant. He was hired on this mission to make sure everyone survived the oncoming year and a half it would take to 'Turn the lights back on' as most survey colonists called it. "At least you're alive, I read the first colonists died from a meltdown in the atmospheric processor's core." Schumacher was a by the book marine, his second however, was not. "I heard there was an infection or something, led them all to go 'off the reservation ' or at least that's one of the rumors." Smalley was exactly like his namesake, small. Standing 213 centimeters he barely weighed in at 65 kilograms. As small as his frame was, he was accepted into the USCMC for his eyes. Scores on sharpshooting from recruits never surpassed 600 out of 1000, his beat the records at 925 his first test and 950 his second. "Can we all just shut the fuck up until we've had some coffee and breakfast? " came the girlish voice of Braxton, the crew's lead communication officer. Her red hair in disarray as she too got up, wiped herself off, and showered. Braxton was in her mid thirties, cute, and stubborn as a mule. She had a scar on her left shoulder where she had her 'Bug Stomper' tattoo removed. Smalley and Schumacher knew this, which is why when they were asked about her they both replied 'yes' to her assignment aboard the Musashi. "Only if we get to look at your pretty face, Braxton." Smalley joked. There was a gentle, harmless laugh in his voice. "Don't flatter yourself Smalley, nobody likes a suckup." Braxton retorted "Who's sucking up? I'd sleep in primary quarters if it meant being greeted by a brainy redhead with an affiliation towards knives." As the hours passed, the typical, ship wide scrambling took place. Shuttles and civilian dropships were outfitted, atvs were fueled, weapons prepped, comms calibrated, and survey gear stowed. "Hudson, do you think we'll find anything of value?" Smalley asked as they worked on calibrating the ctv or 'Civi twat vessels' as marines called them. Similar to an APV, these had light to no armor, plexiglass windows, and no weaponry on board. As Schumacher described them 'canned meat on wheels' after the events of Shaw's Harvest. A group of PITs or, planetary independence terrorists, had infiltrated the primary mining colony on LV 613 and began sabotaging equipment. Eventually it led to guerrilla warfare and the need of USCMC escorts with each convoy. Without armor or on-board weapony, the convoys were sitting ducks for the insurgents to turn the convoy's occupants into shredded meat. The P.I.T. had been quiet for years though, he knew that. He just didn't trust that fact. "Honestly, the only thing of value on this rock is the ore and what Wey-Yu tech we can salvage. I doubt anything else survived the blast." Hudson was adjusting the suspension system from beneath the ctv as he spoke. He grunted before "There, she's ready for all terrain. Thank god we got Wey-Yu to jump for the new transaxle systems. The old ones burnt out on rough terrain. In the communications 'bucket' as most called it. A small ten meter by fifteen meter pod that sat adjacent to the hangar bay with an array of instrument panels. Braxton sipped her coffee with a content sigh. She was reading over the past communication records of Hadley's Hope when Schumacher announced his pressence. "Anything interesting out there?" "Jesus Christ sarge, can't you cough or something first? And oddly enough, yes." Braxton jumped a little as she exclaimed. "I've been going over the past records and found an anomaly, it could just be x-rays or radiation interference but, under all the original signals coming from the beacon there's this hidden signal. I've been isolating it but it's heavily encrypted. Way beyond military encryption." "Really? Any luck getting a portion of it decrypted? " Schumacher asked as he lit a narco stick "No sir, except for about 12 seconds of this." Braxton said as she punched a key on the terminal. "It's on speaker." The signal was heavily distorted as she adjusted the input, until both their eyes became as big as silver dollars. -Alpha Killo Two Four Niner! Alpha Killo Two Four Niner. This is A. Jorden, on company orders we've surveyed the site. We found some kind of alien ship. Upon investigating the hold...something attached itself to my husband's face. I repeat.....static- "This is classified information do you understand Braxton? " "Yes sir, I guess Smalley was close." Later, as the crew met in the hangar bay the officers stood, addressing the civilian and military crew members who counted thirty five civilians and twelve marines. Schumacher "Ok, here's your briefing. Twenty years ago, the atmospheric processor's core on LV 426 went critical, for those of you who don't know, this typically means total devastation. From long range scans they found the mai structure of Hadley's Hope, the colony on LV 426, was intact. Five years ago Wey-Yu received an automated communication from the AI that ran both the colony and the AP. We don't know how but, it seems the auxiliary power units had just enough stored to slowly bring the computer core back online. Our mission is to investigate what caused the initial meltdown and if possible, reinitiate the AP. There will be four teams, communications, led by officer Braxton. Engineering, led by Griffin . Survey, led by Gorman, and salvage, led by Hudson. Each team will have three USCMC escorts, armed and willing to help if need be. I'll let each officer give orders for your respective teams." "Sir, wouldn't the processor going critical lead to radiation patches?" One marine, Jasper, a stocky man with a broad face that seemed to be flattened by a frying pan. "Typically it takes ten to thirty years for the radiation to reach its half-life" A robotic voice said from the back. On the breast of his jacket said Bishop. "However, there could have been a catastrophic vent, that would only release vaporized nitrogen and hydrogen." "Jesus Bishop, don't you ever make any noise?" One marine joked, it was protocol to have a synthetic on any Wey-Yu assignment that enlisted the USCMC. "Bishop is correct, now get to your assigned posts, first team drops at 1300. Dismissed" Schumacher lit a cigarette as he dismissed the crew. Over by the equipment bay, Griffin was going over the schematics of the Atmospheric processor and colony with his team. "So, first off everyone links up with comms to establish clear communication with each other. Second, we set up the EM-Gens to power what's left of the colony. Third, we start the daunting task of salvaging the AP, if we can. If not we have a prefab on it's way with the eta of six weeks. " His team was a ragtag group of engineers and techs, all who seemed a little crazed or eccentric. Over by the communications pod, Braxton was addressing her team. "First order of business is establish site wide communications. I want sat-net up by 1600 and sat-com up by 1800. After that, we get to go over the primary drives of the AI and look for any communications we've not yet decrypted or logged with Wey-Yu. As we're doing this, we need to get communication with the Solomons and Gateway online." Smalley sat in with the Survey team as Gorman addressed them. "Ok our job is simple, log and assess the terrain and any mineral veins for the colonists and mining teams that will be here in six months. Once engineering is finished with their primary directive we will be working closely with them to establish a refinery once we've gotten the surrounding two hundred kilometers mapped. Stay in three man teams, two civi's and one marine." As 1300 approached, Schumacher was visited by Braxton in his quarters. "Braxton, having issues?" "No sir, the system finished decrypting a second transmission. Listen to this" She held out a comm pad as audio played. -Mayday mayday, this is Corporal Hicks of the Sulaco, my unit has experienced immense casualties after touch down on LV 426. The only survivors are two civilian females, a damaged android, and myself. All USCMC personel are KIA. I repeat, all colonial marines are KIA. Unknown alien life forms have infested the colony on LV 426 and in our subsequent dispatchment we were attacked.- "Jesus Christ, a whole platoon dead by alien lifeforms? The colony infested with these things, what are they?" "No clue sir, should we arm the civilians?" "No, just make sure no one hears about this. It could lead to a panic. I'll address my men to stay frosty and keep it under wraps."