#not implying that neil can't hold his own in a fight

[the-elevator-twins]

>[The voices continue on chanting their praise as Neil succumbs to the curse and begins to eat]

>[You run off into the darkness, back to your isolated home. The notepad sits on the table, and the place is undisturbed, aside from Bruce, who not sits on the table, despite being in your pocket just moments ago. It watches you walk through your home with a grim expression.]

>[You have little time, it tells you. It's warning you of things, but the thoughts are fragmented, none of them making any sense. Images of your "twin", full of fury, madness, hungry, slavering jaws. Not a scrap of humanity left in him, as his body twists and contorts, into some sort of monstrous version of himself, of yourself]

>[You can't run. You can't hide. Soon enough, he'll catch you. The void is infinite, but so, so small. Give it a day. An hour. A few minutes.]

Cw: implied suicide, read at your own risk

(i) > You slam the door to your home, panting as you push things to block the door. Despite all the endless running, you panic. Everything around you is spiraling further down into madness. Stress overtakes tou as you grip your hair and scream. How... How do you fight back? How can you save him? Yourself?

(i) > Feeling your face become wet, you start to break down in tears. Honestly, you can't help it. Ever since that cursed doll made its appearance, your life has become a living hell. In what way can you salvage this? How can it all go back to normal?

(i) > With a glimpse, you notice Bruce. He whispers things. Awful things. Nothing to help console you, nothing about breaking the curse, nothing. Nail dig into your scalp as you panic from within, your own anxiety turning against you. This was it. This is how you die.

(i) > You'll die alone. And you'll repeat this nightmare over and over and over. All the pain and suffering, the fear of your "twin." There's no escape from where you are. In metaphorical terms, you are stuck in the mouse trap.

> "I-I can't. . . I can't die to him. . ! Not again. . !!"

(i) > You only know one way out of this, but you'll have no idea where you'll end up. Hell, you might not even come back from this. Maybe you'll finally die and be brought into the afterlife.

(i) > . . .

(i) > You know what you have to do, even if you're not ready. Moving to the notepad, you ripped out the previous scribbles, scattering them on the ground. With shaken hands, you jot down a memoir. Writing your experience with the curse, how it affects your "twin" and yourself.

(i) > It's hard to hold the notepad steady with your left hand. The pain still hurts, yet you continue through the pain. You pen your final words. . . How you shouldn't have been such a coward, how you only let this madness continue. Tears drip onto the pages as you pen the final sentence with a shaken breath.

(i) > Gently taking hold of Bruce, you get him a small squeeze before sitting him next to your pet rats, who still hide in their corners. All that mutters out of your mouth is a pitiful sorry before moving to the bathroom.

(i) > You slid the notepad into the bottom drawer, making sure it was closed completely. Locking the bathroom door, the uninjured hand grabs the bottle of sleeping pills. In truth, you're scared, but what other choice do you have left. . ?

(i) > For once, you want to die peacefully. No more fires, or being eaten, being shot at, choking on your own blood. . .

"I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. . . I'm so sorry, Neil, I-I can't - "

(i) > You won't let him have his way. You eont have IT have it's way.

[allforthe-gay]

Neil: *clenches fist* fight me!

Andrew, standing behind Neil, softly shaking his head, knife ready in his hand: *mouths* do not

[aftgficrec]

oh my god requests open, iv been waiting forever, you guys are awsome!

right so ask: do you have any fics with the foxes realising how wonderful andrew is, and that hes been though hell and back, like his scars been seen and the foxes realising that hes not a monster?

Hope we made this worth your wait, anon. - A

Also see:

foxes protective of Andrew here

foxes see Andrew’s scars here

foxes react to Andrew’s past here

foxes doubting andreil’s relationship here

Andrew panic attack in front of foxes here

Andrew breaks down in front of foxes here

Neil defends Andrew to foxes here

Matt & Andrew/Allison & Andrew here

‘Double Trouble’ here

‘broken alone (together we mend)’ here

‘the foxes…finding out about Proust’ and ‘video recordings of Andrew’s appointments …’ here

‘It Went Like This’ here

‘A Yes Isn't Always a Yes’ here

‘They who made you/they made me too’ here

‘Shards of Glass’ here

‘never said that i didn't need you’ here

‘aaron's lament’ here

‘Speed Dating 101,’ ‘First Game Jitters,’ ‘“Are you busy?”’ and ‘post canon Matt and Andrew…’ here

‘the foxes finally seeing Andrew as a person…’ here

a monster like me by electric_typewriter [Rated T, 4326 Words, Complete, 2020]

In retrospect he will realize that it had been a long time coming, the load building and building until the final straw is enough to break the camel’s back. Maybe it’s the way the whole situation reminds him of a conversation he’d had with Andrew, way back when their closeness had been new and delicately built, touches between them careful, but Andrew’s steady eyes and unflinching words a constant that Neil had already known to be safe to lean against. The next time one of them says you’re soulless, he’d said, I might have to fight them.

Unknown and Unforgotten by Carryonhowell [Rated M, 31664 Words, Complete, 2021]

The foxes pasts are mostly unknown to one another, but each person contains a multitude of memories they just can't forget. With a hint of magic and a lot of emotions, the past is pulled to the present. The foxes will come to know the unforgotten memories of their teammates, whether they want to or not.

tw: suicide attempt, tw: drug use, tw: drug addiction, tw: overdose, tw: eating disorders, tw: rape/noncon, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: blood/gore, tw: child abuse, tw: involuntary outing, tw: homophobia, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: noncon kiss

Me and You series by LFMH021 [Rated T, Two Complete Works in Series, Last Updated 2016]

Part 1: Stay [5252 Words] 

Most see Andrew as an apathetic monster who is heartless and someone who is only with Neil for hate-sex. But one word changed their opinions forever: ‘Stay.’

In short: The Foxes’ impression of Andrew and Neil’s relationship. And on a Wednesday wherein Andrew visited Bee, Neil had a fight with Jack, and the freshman accidentally pushed him down the stairs.

tw: homophobia, tw: violence, tw: blood 

Part 2: I can breathe again [4051 Words] 

Jack pushed Neil on the stairs after a big argument leading Neil to being placed in a wheelchair and not be allowed to move too much for two weeks. Andrew wasn’t pleased with this scenario, in fact, he hated it. [He loved it. He got to spoil Neil without being too obvious.]

These two weeks was enough for the Foxes to agree that Andrew truly does love Neil.

tw: scars, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: flashbacks, tw: panic attacks

creature of habit by apollo (diurno), diurno [Rated T, 38317 Words, Complete, 2020]

This place will never, ever, get better and things will never be alright.

But — but. Andrew hates himself for the but. The last time he had anything aside from his own spine to hold himself up, Andrew had ran his body raggedy trying to keep it. He doesn’t know at which point he became a creature of habit; he doesn’t know why he’d put himself through this again. He doesn’t know why he’d handle Neil the knife and tell him just where to cut, but he did and he has and he will continue to do so until it kills him or Andrew kills it first.

Alternatively: The Foxes in hindsight, through Andrew's perspective.

tw: implied/referenced rape/non con, tw: canonical character death, tw: alcohol, tw: conversion camp discussion

spring bloom by cave_canem [Rated T, 3003 Words, Complete, AFTG Votes 2018]

Matt thinks he might be starting to understand.

all for the foxes by lilyevanskinnie [Not Rated, 4180 Words, Complete, 2019]

5 times the foxes realised they were wrong about Andrew and Neil's relationship

tw: violence, tw: panic attacks

In the Eye of the Beholder by darkbluebox [Rated M, 4822 Words, Complete, 2020]

"If you're taking requests, maybe the foxes reacting to soft andreil?"

Overprotective boyfriends, overly nosy teammates, and the intersections therein.

tw: insomnia

white wolf by Scarlet66 [Rated T, 2548 Words, Complete, 2019]

And Neil — Neil must be truly plastered, because he turns his face into the cushions and sighs like he's trying to express his answer through his breath alone and —

"He makes me sane," he mutters, nearly inaudible. The room is suddenly deathly silent. "He makes me safe."

Andrew changes, and Dan watches.

tw: violence

Flavors of Fall by NikNak22 [Rated E, 146194 Words, Complete, 2022]

When Andrew came to Palmetto, he never thought it might become home – and even now he’s still not sure it is. Despite living there for nearly six years now, he doesn’t really feel like he belongs. He feels like he’s drifting, simply surviving day after day of whatever life has in store for him. Then Neil Josten shows up – a redhead with a fiery attitude and a million secrets, and Andrew's interest is instantly captured.

But the thing is…Neil’s not the only one with secrets in this town. Everyone seems to have something they’ve kept hidden in the dark. And as soon as one thread gets pulled, they all seem to come unraveled…

Featuring second chances, making mistakes, budding relationships, and as many fall shenanigans as possible – welcome to the smalltown world of Palmetto!

tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: panic attacks, tw: homophobia, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: self harm, tw: animal abuse

Andrew protecting Dan by @palmettofoxden​ [Tumbler, 2017]

The whole team is at a bar and some guy recognizes Dan from the strip club she used to work at.

tw: violence

[doverstar]

this is another lowercase anon, the same one from the posts last night but i didn’t do the last one. that person that last person mentioned though makes me feel even worse about coming out and saying that what you said was insensitive or dismissive as i’ve dealt with or am dealing with those things. they’re saying it’s stupid we were hurt by something and you don’t need to apologize. while i somewhat accept the answers you provided, that person is being very harmful to survivors mental states and basically straight up invalidating it. everyone has different perspectives and i think they need to understand that. but in that recent ask you answered, they straight up were being rude as fuck about trauma we have endured. you can say you’re allowing people to voice their own opinions but when those opinions are harmful to survivors, that is when they need to be called out. and with this case in particular it seems like you’re endorsing it.

Hi! There are two Lowercase Anons! The plot thickens. Like soup. (It's fall and I'm under the weather, I have soup on the brain-) I'm sorry what I've said hurt you in my posts. I apologized to the first Lowercase Anon, but I'm glad of the opportunity to apologize to you, too: I'm very sorry if anything I've posted about abuse/ED/anything hurt you. Never my intention when stating my opinions, especially about a fictional character of all things. So - I'm not going to call anyone out on anything for a little while. I'm trying to wash my hands of this whole incident and let 80% of me disappear from the Hellcheer fandom and the ST community altogether. I think that's best? But I also don't want to ignore people who talk to me; so I'm responding when they do! If you think someone needs to understand your thoughts, I think you should talk to them. I don't control other people - and I'm not responsible for their actions, either. Please don't hold me accountable for things other people say - in this circumstance or any others in the future! I can't control what you guys think of me. If I'm silent, you'll think I'm endorsing it. If I rage or fight because you tell me I should, there'll be more people upset on the other side of all this. It's causing further damage in this already-lengthy hurricane of online negativity that I never meant to kick off. If you decide to think I'm endorsing something when I've never said or implied that I am, I can't stop you. And if you decide to think I'm not endorsing something when I've never said or implied that I am, I can't stop you there either. Changing people's minds on the internet is an exhausting battle no one ever seems to win, and I think it's unlikely I'll be the Neil Armstrong of that fight. Thank you for reaching out!

[girlslovebugs]

kevin and andrew’s deal

good morning here’s my expanded explanation of why i personally think andrew’s deal with kevin only applied to protection from the moriyamas (all under the cut because i’m tired of this discourse too man) tbh looking through again it IS more nuanced than i originally thought but my original claim is still really the only thing that makes sense and here’s why why

for starters, i want to analyze how andrew protects kevin. the first time we see andrew doing something in that general capacity is the columbia drugging. andrew sees neil’s stalker binder and, reasonably, assumes that he is a moriyama pawn trying to hurt kevin/bring kevin back. so andrew plans to 1) incapacitate neil 2) interrogate neil and 3) if necessary, get rid of neil. the next time is when riko confronts neil and kevin after kathy’s show. andrew uses himself as a distraction(opening his arms, greeting riko, positioning himself between riko and neil) while neil and kevin escape. from these two instances, it seems that when andrew thinks the stakes are high he’ll try to get the situation under control  and kevin safe as soon as he can. but tbh this doesn’t matter unless u want me to really go in depth as to why i don’t think the deal was complete and total protection but tldr; this IS what i’d consider protecting kevin. compared to this, punching someone hours after they punch kevin is just performative (but more on the matt counterargument at the bottom). anyways, onto the two main quotes that i think imply my main point!

"Don't worry," Nicky said, with a failed attempt at cheer. "Andrew will protect you."

Kevin flicked him a horrified look. "These are the Moriyamas, Nicky. This is not Riko and the master; this is not Neil's father. Andrew can't—" (TKM 286-287).

this ones pretty self explanatory imo: kevin lists off who andrew promised to protect him and neil from and notice how “anybody who might ever give kevin shit” aren’t on the list. andrew knew from the start that he couldn’t protect kevin from the moriyamas who would, by definition, be included if andrew’s protection extended to everyone who might want to hurt kevin. 

Neil guessed he meant their more optimistic teammates. "You're going to have to come up with something of your own to hold onto. I'm safe, Kevin doesn't need your protection anymore, Nicky's going back to Erik eventually, and Aaron's got Katelyn. What are you going to live for if you're not playing sheepdog for us?" (TKM 342). 

this one happens after kevin, neil, and jean are freed from the moriyamas after promising 80% of their pro salaries to them. the ravens are no longer kevin’s problem, therefore andrew no longer needs to protect him. imo if andrew was offering kevin complete protection, andrew being free of the moriyamas wouldn’t be cause for termination because there would still be rabid ravens fans, foxes infighting (next year), 

now, re: punching matt, because i saw someone use it as proof that the promise wasn’t just for the ravens/riko/tetsuji

i don’t want to tag them in case they get annoyed but @/alltheshadesofamber pretty much hit the nail right on the head with this one. andrew doesn’t do revenge therefore punching matt AFTER matt had already punched kevin and kevin was no longer in danger would have been, yes, revenge. so, unless he’s a big fat giant liar, andrew punched matt for the same reason he plans on killing proust: because he said he would.

"Revenge is a motivator only for the weak-willed,"  Andrew said.

"If you believed that you wouldn't be planning how to kill Proust." ... "This is not revenge," Andrew said. "I warned him what I would do to him if he touched me. This is me keeping my word " (TKM 135).

i’d also like to bring up this comment from the foxhole court: 

“It took only one wrong word to turn [Kevin and Seth’s] arguments into physical brawls. The fighting hit a peak on Wednesday afternoon when Andrew left practice early for his weekly therapy session. The second he vanished, Seth went for Kevin with fists flying” (122-123). 

while it was, indeed, mentioned that seth waited until andrew was gone to fight kevin, i’m going to go ahead and assume that this was out of self preservation in case andrew (who was very drugged and very violent at the time) intended to retaliate. remember, the foxes are completely in the dark about what andrew and kevin’s deal actually is. but there’s no mention afterwards of andrew attacking seth in kevin’s honor. if we’re going to assume that andrew punching matt was revenge, then andrew not attacking seth afterwards would be a violation of his and kevin’s deal in the first book already. however, andrew doesn’t get involved in kevin and seth’s feud which also leads me to believe that it was andrew upholding a different promise that still didn’t include andrew as someone he’d protect kevin from. i’m not going to go as far as to say that andrew never threatened violence if any of the other foxes were to attack kevin, because obviously he made some sort of promise that would ‘justify’ punching matt, but it wouldn’t include andrew. 

also exy is an incredibly violent sport and andrew would probably, like, get kicked out of the league trying to protect kevin from anybody who could possibly harm him physically lol

this did end up being shorter than i anticipated because it’s like 8pm here and i have homework but i just wanted 2 post it in case i need it as a point of reference at any point anyways how fucked is it that andrew messes up stores on purpose like man that’s the real throwaway line discourse we should be talking about like remember when he just??? took clothes off the hangers and left them on the floor??? and threw the hangers at nicky???

[aftgficrec]

Hi! I recently discovered your blog and I was hoping to catch the asks open. Do you know any post canon fics of Andrew's last year at Palmetto? Maybe where he is worried about leaving Neil behind? Also, I don't know if there are any fics of star wars au? Thanks!

Here’s what we’ve got for Andrew’s final year and graduation.  Oh yeah, and a little bit of Star Wars too! - S

Also see …

‘The Bet’ here

‘The Bones - Way Down We Go fic’ here

'Words Mean Nothing’ here

‘Tumblr Headcanons… andreil fight…’ here

‘as I go forward (hold down the fort)’ here

‘The Cartographer and the World’ here

the pieces that stick around by PoolToast22 [Rated G, 2918 words, complete, 2022]

He’d never thought he'd miss it. The building wasn’t new. He’d spent five years living in it. Surviving in it. But now, with less than 24 hours left within the high walls, he couldn't help but look at it completely differently. 

It was no stranger to Andrew to walk away from a living place and feel like a piece of him was being left inside. He knew heartbreak. He knew what it was like to leave somewhere for the last time and know you would never get back the person you were when you walked through the door. In fact, most places he'd lived had broken away a chunk of him. They all tore at his skin, clawed at his soul, and crumbled his defenses until they could no longer be broken.

-

AKA the one where Andrew has one day left at Fox Tower and he doesn't know how to feel about it.

a lesson in communication by mindthekat [Rated E, 11987 words, complete, 2021]

Part 3 of the ‘an exercise in growth’ series

To the untrained eye, Neil Josten would seem entirely normal, albeit a little more tightly wound than usual.

Andrew Minyard's eye is not untrained.

Alternatively: Neil never thought he would live long enough to want a future and Andrew can't find the words to reassure him.

tw: explicit sexual content, tw: panic attacks

The thunder for the storm by aceofreaders (Kickasscookieeater) [Rated T, 15109 words, complete, 2020]

Andrew has spent five years in Palmetto, four years entangled there with Neil Josten and his band of merry foxes.

Andrew has spent four years breaking and rebuilding routines and patterns and thought processes. Four years sharing kisses and cigarettes and truths.

Despite himself, he got used to it. He got used to his own pack, he got used to the other foxes, he got used to Neil Josten in the few ways it's possible to do so. And if pressed, hard, he could admit to himself that he's not sure what to do without any of those things.

But nothing gold can stay, or whatever. Because now he has to leave.

tw: implied/referenced panic attacks

You Deserve Better by socksandsandels [Not Rated, 4749 words, incomplete, last updated June 2020]

Andrew had always told Neil that whatever "this" was meant nothing but Neil had never believed him before. Except now Andrew is graduating and Neil knows that if their going to work long distance then they both have to try harder. But will Andrew finally be able to tell Neil what he means to him or will he keep denying till there is nothing left?

Or: It's Andrews last year at Palmetto and he is about to go pro. Neil asks him to acknowledge what is between them and try harder so they work long distance. But Andrew thinks Neil deserved better then him.

I can't make you love me (if you don't) by djhedy [Rated T, 5318 words, complete, 2020]

Andrew realises he’s faced with two choices: hold onto this or let it go forever.

And he hates that.

Almost as much as he hates Neil.

He watches as Neil turns away, walks up the length of the room once, stops, looks back. “It’s ok,” he says, his voice drained of any emotion, face set. Sure. Resigned. “You always said this was nothing.”

Andrew nods. Remembers there’s a cigarette dangling between his fingers, so brings it back up to his lips, holds it there, doesn’t even bother breathing in.

“Ok,” Neil says again, and leaves the room.

---

before andrew graduates, neil asks him to make a choice.

Have I told you? by alex_wh0 [Rated T, 1312 words, complete, 2020]

Set during Andrew's fifth and final year at PSU, when both Neil and Andrew are perched on the edge of uncertainty. Who knew Neil could write?

i'd hold you down (if I could, make you the enemy) by bluesky_daydreaming [Rated T, 2585 words, complete, 2020]

Neil will tie himself down to Andrew and stick around until Andrew tells him to go and Andrew does not want to be the one who is responsible for keeping Neil on the ground. He will not be the reason that Neil lets himself shut down after they are all gone, the reason he never branches out and seeks out someone new to touch, someone who gladly let him touch them.

****

Or: Andrew pushes Neil away because he thinks it will be easier than watching him leave.

Unspoken by Jeni182 [Rated T, 1905 words, complete, 2019]

Andrew Minyard is not good with words. Betsy helps him find a way to say the things to Neil he wants to.

I Found by trubenblack [Not Rated, 4909 words, complete, 2018]

It's Andrew's final year and they've got a surprise

or the marriage fic bc i refuse to admit they don't

tw: homophobia

Watchful Eyes by SensationalSunburst [Rated G, 2290 words, complete, 2018]

“I'm graduating in three days.” Andrew said. David took a long drag of his tea and waited. “I will be moving to Columbus.” He continued, “Neil is not.” “I have him for another year,” David said, “Are you worried?” David watched Andrew swallow the knee-jerk denial that he felt anything, chasing it with a sip of cocoa. “He requires a certain level of supervision.”

Damned if I Do by Spanglebangle [Rated T, 4731 words, complete, 2018]

In a few short weeks, Andrew will graduate from PSU. And he has a very important, and very terrifying, decision to make.

Exy, or...something else. But what? Does he really want to commit to Exy for the rest of his life? And if not Exy, then what? What is he supposed to do? What is he supposed to want - and how can he possibly choose it?

tw: anxiety, tw: mention of suicidal ideation

Something in Return by reaching_my_summit [Rated M, 31204 words, complete, 2018]

“Andrew Minyard, how will you celebrate winning your final college Exy championship?”

“I’m going to Disney World,” Andrew deadpans.

- - -

Andrew’s final year at Palmetto State comes to a close. His future is upon him and there are plans to be made. Years ago, Neil asked Andrew to stop smoking in exchange for something. Andrew finally knows what he wants in return.

tw: nightmares, tw: scars, tw: ptsd, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: blood, tw: panic attacks

Star Wars AU:

Hope Is a Disquieting Thing by Sundaye [Rated M, 67953 words, incomplete, last updated May 2020]

Abram's father is one of the most powerful beings in the universe and he's spent years searching for his wife and son who stole millions of credits from the Empire and ran. They're two of the most wanted by the Empire for their dangerous insight into Imperial secrets. When a deadly confrontation with his father ends with Abram's mother's life, Abram must find a way to escape alone for the first time in his life.

Meanwhile, smuggler and ex-Imperial laborer Andrew Minyard and his crew have lost an important ally to the Empire and are intent on rescuing him and returning him to the Rebellion.

When the chance comes for Abram to flee Tatooine with Andrew's crew he dons a new alias, Neil, and takes it.

Basically, this is a Star Wars AU.

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced drug use, tw: implied/referenced abuse

Star Wars Au when? by @deadliestpieceontheboard [tumblr, 2021]

ok but hear me out: aftg star wars au when?

Art

Jerejean star wars au by @sturmdunkel [tumblr, 2022]

runaway jedi neil by @skye-draws [tumblr, 2022]

Fanart for Hope Is a Disquieting Thing by @fornavn [tumblr, 2020]

Andrew from 'Hope Is a Disqquieting Thing' by @ssundaye [tumblr, 2018]

Hope Is a Disquieting Thing Edit by @sirfluffkins [tumblr, 2018]