#tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon

[deadsetobsessions]

Spider in Gotham AU- Pt.2

[Pt.1]

Peter’s no stranger to memories that comes as nightmares. There’s something different to them, the taste of terror that’s tinged with a feeling of “that’s happened.”

Flashes of Aunt May, dying as he stood next to her while choosing the city over her? Old hat. Inky darkness surrounding MJ falling as Peter reached for her, over and over again? Been there, seen that, didn’t even get a sick scar out of it. Racing against the clock to defeat some bad guy or an unknown threat? That’s his Thursday.

But this?

This isn’t his. It’s real, Peter could tell that much. Sure, it’s wrapped up in silk hisses and heart crushing terror, but Peter could always tell whether a nightmare was a nightmare or whether it was a memory.

This was a memory. Not his. His. It’s complicated.

“Your father, papito, he-,”

Then, it’d be the ruffle of his hair, brown eyes. It reminded him of his mom. But the crease of these eyes were different. Hardened, mean. Even towards him.

“Well, he said no, but I knew what he really wanted.”

The base of Peter’s neck always crawled when he remembered that line. His spider-sense warned him that whatever he’s remembering, he would not like.

“Ey, Peter.”

“Huh?” Peter blinked, looking up from where his arms were elbow deep in wires.

“Don’cha need gloves with that?” Frank asked, munching on some jerky. They were sitting in the living room, repairing a TV and a washer Frank had somehow managed to lug back to the apartment. It’s a toss up between Frank’s network of orphans (Peter included), street rats (these things are not mutually inclusive), or his own slightly higher than average strength. Not that they needed to thrift broken things, considering Peter’s funneling money from offshore bank accounts belonging to this America’s 1%. They just made it so easy! He and Ned had been hacking into government bases in middle school back on his world. This world? Not even a challenge. Regardless, this was kind of like… Frank’s version of those fancy sensory boxes for Peter.

“Oh, no. It’s not plugged in, see?”

“How’re ya gunna know it works then?”

“Plug it in after I’m done. Turn it off and on, you know?”

Frank stared at him, then rolled his eyes towards the ceiling.

“If you burn down that portion of the house, at least we’ll be warm for a bit.”

“Thanks. Your confidence in me is astounding.”

“You talk like an old man.”

“I do not! Excuse you! If I’m old, you’re the expired knock off cup ramen in the back of a convenience store!”

“Yo, shrimpy, that’s rude, ya hear?” Frank snickered, impressed at the quip. The Alley kid turned brother stood up to plop next to Peter.

“So… you gonna go…?” Frank made a whooshing sound and held his hand in a web shooter position.

“Tonight? Prolly. Anything I should look out for?”

“You’re gunna get yourself killed, but yeah, heard the gang’s back up north.”

Peter flashed a smile, dimples coming out. “I’ll try not to. Thanks, Frank.”

“Anytime, Spidey.”

Frank, though little (to Peter), was a good friend. Then again, considering Peter saved his ass both in mask and out of it, it’s to be expected. One would think that after eight years of hiding his identity, Peter would be better at it. Then, he got punted into a different world and got made by a child.

To be fair, the circumstances all but screamed Parker Luck, so Peter’s not counting this instance.

See, the first few days of this sudden cohabitation, Peter had asked Frank to find them furniture. Both because he was getting real sick of eating on the floor and because Peter needed to fix his suit to match his much younger body. Then, once he readjusted the shrinking nanotech and the spider legs to fit him in a way that wouldn’t break him, Peter had promptly swung out of the building and went patrolling. He stuck with the wandering Frank, taking out muggers and robbers and everything in between and past that around the area where Frank is.

Looking back, Peter realized how lucky he was when he decided to go on the “helping joyride” at the beginning of the evening. His spider-sense activated way later in the night, the moment where he began seeing and sensing the cameras that kept pointing towards him. He ducked and dodged out of the way, and eventually, the feeling left. Somebody was watching. And he doesn’t know where they stood on the moral side of things.

Anyways, it happened after three weeks and a half of going out and just… settling into life in Gotham. He had already been struggling to find a way home, scouring the libraries around Gotham on any subject that would aid in his multiversal travel. Peter would like to know which emo kid named this city.

Eventually, Parker Luck decided to strike once more.

“Get back, freak!” The lady brandished a wicked knife.

Talk about deja vu.

“Oh no! Knives! My greatest weakness!” Spider-Man yelled, sticking to the shadowed windows as he let his voice echo in the alley. Gotham had a lot of nice hiding places. Spider-man dropped down on her head like a bat out of hell and webbed the knife out of her hands. He webbed the mugger up onto the alleyway above normal reach, and told the man to call the police.

Frank screamed, just as Spider-man wrapped it up, loud enough to reach his enhanced hearing.

“Wait-!” The man tried to stop him, but Peter, small, trained, and having readjusted his reach, slipped away.

“What’s your name?!” The guy he saved yelled at his back.

Spider-man, distracted, yelled back, “SPIDEY!”

He shot webs upwards and used them to slingshot his way towards where Frank was. And… car! Peter used his webs to swing up, up, and let himself fall to gain momentum. At the last moment, Peter shot a web to the top of the car and pulled himself to it.

Shit, shit, shit. He’s stupidly attached to the kid, and he was stupid enough to let Frank go out into Gotham looking both well-fed and well clothed.

The world slowed as he locked eyes with a terrified Frank, who was getting dragged into a car.

The world narrowed to speed and Spider-Man landed on top of the car roof, sweeping his leg out and thankfully remembering his much shorter reach. His foot collided with the kidnapper’s face with the equivalent force of a grown up, slightly annoyed Peter Parker who’s letting his strength go a bit unchecked. Basically, they went flying, blood spewing out of the undoubtedly broken nose Spider-Man had just given them.

Standing on business, the shorter webster promptly flipped down wards as he all but glued the would-be kidnapper to the curb.

“You alright?”

“You’re- You’re that new mask.” Frank whispered, scuttling away from the car where he’d been dropped.

“Yeah, man. You okay?” His voice modulator came in clutch.

“Fuck. Fuck, I gotta-” Frank stumbled. The kid looked like he was one bad break away from snapping. Peter hated it when kids got that terrified look on their faces, it reminded him of himself, helpless as Ben bled out because they should never have to fear something that much.

Something’s wrong, though. As much as Peter wished otherwise, Frank was a Gotham bred and true alley kid, through and through. These kids don’t spook easily. Peter already stopped a couple of kidnappings and at least two of the kids had yelled at him to stay out of the way before unloading a rain of nut kicks on their kidnappers that left Peter wincing for days in sympathy. Frank being this spooked? Something’s going on.

“Woah, easy there, I’m not gonna hurt you,”

Frank shot him a half hysterical, half condescending look. Yeah, that’s more like it.

“Ob-obviously. I have to go before more of them comes,” Frank muttered.

“More of them? You know what they want?”

Frank stared at him, looking up and down at his blue, red, and gold ensemble.

“I can help,” Peter promised.

“What’re your thoughts on metas?”

Suspicious.

“Uh, they’re fine? Depends on the person, why?”

Frank sighed. The skinny teenager, barely 14, tugged at his hair. “They’re traffickers. Meta kids, mostly, so the Bats don’t do nothing. I- uh, I got caught.” He held up a thin wrist, showing Peter his new accessorie, a think metal bracelet that was beeping red.

Peter cursed in his head. Fuck, of course he’d stumble into a-

“Caught? You’re a meta?”

Frank nodded. “Strength. This is an inhibitor, illegal kind, you know?”

Well, that explained how he got all of those furniture without struggle.

“Right. Hey, don’t stress, kid, I’m a meta too.”

Frank blinked.

“What?”

Peter walked up the side of the car and did jazz hands.

“You’re a meta?! But- but you’re a mask operating in Gotham!”

“Yeah…? Is that weird?”

Before Frank could reply, Peter’s sense screamed and Spider-Man shoved Frank away from the spray of bullets.

“Move, Frank!”

Peter flipped away, vaguely aware of Frank’s gaping realization. He took down the shooters in quick succession, stopping the speeding car with his bare hands and some webs.

“Shooters, no shooting!” He yelled, liberally applying force he tended to keep under wraps. Frank was like a brother to him, and there is no universe where Peter Parker would hold back when his family was in danger.

When he got back to Frank, who had oddly stayed instead of running, Peter found out why the kid stayed.

“Peter?!” Frank hissed lowly, looking more pissed off than terrified. “Are you fucking insane?! Why are you running ‘round as a mask?!”

“Shhh!” Shit, he got made. “Come on, get back to the apartment and we can talk there. I’ll get rid of this-”

Peter casually snapped the bracelet in half, tearing the tracker out, and tucked it away to study later.

“Fuckin’- shit, fine, but you’re explaining everything, motherfucker!”

They split, Peter guessing correctly that he was in another lecture of a lifetime.

——

“Your vigilante name is Spiderman?”

“Hey, I can hear you say it without the hyphen! There’s a hyphen in there!”

“You’re not a man! You’re a twerp!”

“I’ll show you twerp, you-”

Five minutes of tussling later, in which Peter did not try to bite Frank’s arm off, thank you very much, Frank leaned back on the couch.

“Besides. People in the streets are calling you Spidey, anyways.”

“Spidey?”

“Some dude you saved from a mugging said you told him.”

Peter slammed his head on the floor where he was laying face down.

“Ughhhh.”

——

“He could have been great. I saw his potential.”

Anger. But he shouldn’t be afraid. The woman loved him.

“Hey, Peter. You’re up here again.”

“Hi.” Peter stayed curled up. His mind had refused him sleep for the last three nights, causing dark circles to appear underneath his eyes. The memories of what he assumed to be this world’s Peter was merging with his. What he’d seen so far did not fill him with confidence of a happy childhood. Flashes of wielding weapons, the sterile smell of a metal dissection table, and hundreds and hundreds of spiders crawling over him, getting startled into biting down. Plus, the stress of tracking down the meta trafficking circles in Gotham was no joke. He doesn’t know Gotham nearly as well as he knew New York, and he had to be extra careful running around and trying to catch every bit of the circle before making any moves. Frank was helping with his network of homeless Meta kids, but the traffickers were everywhere except for Crime Alley.

He should be dead. They sold his body to an organ harvester who dumped his venom filled corpse on the side of Gotham. At least he didn’t have to worry about killing his alternate version.

“Everything all right?” Red Robin clambered down to sit next to him, cowl hiding the concerned scrunch of his brow. He’s never seen Peter like this.

Peter grumbled, staring down at another alleyway. He knows his alternate died. His shit excuse for another sold his body to an organ harvester, when he seized on the operating table, who dumped his venom filled corpse on the side of Gotham. At least he didn’t have to worry about killing his alternate version. He does, however, have to worry about missing vital organs.

“I… remembered something.” Peter remembered a lot of things. And pretty much none of them were good. This Peter suffered a lot in his short life.

Red Robin nodded. The issue of Peter’s spotty memories had come up in their discussions over the past month.

“Ah. Something unpleasant?”

Peter thought back to the voice who, despite all of the other, highly traumatic memories, haunted his brain like nothing else.

“He didn’t live up to it. He refused to kill. So I made the decision for him.”

“Yeah. Not for me, but unpleasant that I know about it.”

“Yeah, I get that. You wanna talk about it?” Peter hid a small smile. Even though Red Robin kept his tone light, the concern still bled through. Warm. It made Peter feel warm. Even if it appeared that the Bats don’t really care about the trafficked meta kids… maybe Red Robin would come save normal kid Peter if he got kidnapped. A backup plan to consider. For now…

“Sure,” he said. Red Robin waited patiently.

“I think, I remember someone. Maybe, maybe my…” Peter grimaced. “My mom? She… told me something. And uh, I think I’maproductofrape.”

“Oh,” Red Robin said, so awkwardly that Peter had to crack a small smile despite the gravity of the topic. “I’m sorry.”

“Yeah. Me too. Not myself, but for…” Peter waved a hand. “You know.”

“Yeah.”

“She wasn’t a good person,” Peter whispered and hated how he missed the browns of her eyes- her middle name was Marie, and god, Peter wished he hadn’t known that because he gets why her eyes reminded him so much of his own mother- and she besmirched everything Mary Parker stood for.

“You have our combined potential, Peter. Make sure not to be like him too much and live up to it, papito.”

“It’s okay, to love her even if she hurt other people,” Red Robin said, gently ruffling his greasy hair. Peter’s spidey-sense tingled and he ducked away. Red Robin withdrew his hand. “Because you can’t really help that. Trust me, I’ve tried. You just have to make sure they don’t get the chance to do what they did again.”

Cold, cold voices and his voice gave out from screaming. “You really are your father’s son. Never being able to do what’s necessary.”

And Peter wondered what happened to Red Robin and who hurt him. Peter would just like to talk. Red Robin reminded him of himself, way back when being Spider-Man meant finding out Harry became Green Goblin. Pained. Tired.

“Yeah,” Peter agreed. But that’s not really a problem, considering the last thing the organ harvester said before dumping him in an alley. “She’s dead in a ditch in Siberia or something. I’m not really worried she’ll do it again.”

“Uh.”

“It’s cool,”

“Right. Have you… remembered your dad?”

“Yeah. He’s in Gotham,” Peter unfurled a little.

“You want help tracking him down? I’m good at that kind of thing.”

Peter glanced at Red Robin. “I think you just admitted to being a stalker.”

“Vigilante,” Red Robin shrugged, like it explained everything. And yeah, it kind of did. Peter snorted.

“Nah, it’s okay. I don’t want to meet him anyways.”

“Why not?”

“He doesn’t know about me,” Peter ticked off his fingers. “I’m a literal walking, talking, breathing reminder of his trauma. And I don’t need a dad.”

Red Robin looked at him silently. Peter doesn’t think about it.

He never wanted to see his parents suffer. An alternate version of his dad, hurt so irrevocably by an alternate version of his mom?

Peter hated that this Catalina dirtied his mother’s name, and went against the most fundamental parts of what the spider symbol was meant for. And considering he’s been doing this longer than her, he had first dibs on defining it. He’ll look after his dad, as long as he’s stuck in Gotham. It’s only right.

“His name? Oh, my son, it’s Richard Grayson.”

——

Peter, who Trusts his instincts: no head rubs?? awwwww

Tim, who’s been trying to get a dna sample for the last month: how does he keep evading me?? He must be a genius or a spy or- *spirals down the conspiracy board*

——

Tim: I’ve connected the dots!

Peter: you’ve connected jack shit

——

Listen, the moment I learned Catalina Flores’ middle name, the pieces clicked, okay? Like legos. It’s like, former FBI agent in this one and former CIA agent in Peter’s home universe? Wow. Middle name Marie? Mary Parker? Incredible. Spider themes run in the blood apparently?? They both have brown eyes!! Trying to do good with no qualms about murder!! (I’m assuming since Mary Parker was SHIELD and I don’t think SHIELD cared much for the sanctity of human life if it threatened the country or something)

[aftgficrec]

Fics where Neil gets in a fight and actually wins!! I know it’s more commonly said that he can start fights and not finish them but let’s be for real, the boy was raised by two mafias and is scary as hell (I think i’ve seen someone ask this a while ago but i’m not sure if there’s an updated list) Mainly wondering for like post-canon fics, but au’s are cool too!

There’s quite a bit to discover on this topic, be that AU or in the context of canon.  Of course, Neil rarely comes out of these troubles unscathed, but he wouldn’t be Neil if there wasn’t also a little martyrdom involved.  You might find more on this under our bamf!Neil, butcher!Neil and occasionally raven!Neil tags.  Have a browse, and see if there’s anything you like. - S

Some previous recommendations:

BAMF!Neil here

BAMF!Neil 2 here

BAMF!Neil 3 here

BAMf!Andreil w/happy ending here

badass Neil here

Neil fights and wins here

A dark Neil here

Neil says it's fine i've had worse here

Neil protects Katelyn/the foxes/Andrew here

Foxes find out Neil's not soft here (see list of recs at top of post)

Neil hurts/kills in front of foxes here

new BAMF! or Raven!Neil here

dark!Neil & Andrew here

bad boy Neil here

Neil Josten: Moriyama spy here

Neil kills Nathan here

Killing Eve AU here

‘Skin Comes Apart (Angel in Lothian)’ here

‘Bound for Error’ here

‘turn out the lights’ here (completed)

‘From Dungeons’ here

‘Whiskey Sour’ here

‘Negotiations’ and ‘The Butcher's Hello’ here (updated)

‘Shake my Tomb’ and ‘Appendages’ here

‘The  Butcher’s Son’ here

‘it takes two (but you and i are one)’ here

‘monster (under my bed)’ here

post-canon (more or less):

Out for Blood by Aquared46 [Rated M, 27975 words, complete, 2023, locked]

"Neil’s first thought upon opening his eyes was that he was lucky to be in the trunk of a car instead of the back of a van. His second thought was that even if he survived this, Andrew might finally give into the temptation to kill him." AKA Neil is abducted and everyone has a bad time.

tw: kidnapping, tw: torture, tw: nightmares

born for this by dovegraye [Rated G, 1278 words, complete, 2023]

There are some parts of Nathaniel Abram Wesninski that Neil Abram Josten can’t ignore and refuses to play at trying anymore. This is one of them.

tw: violence

My Lover Writes Me Letters by AceSirenSinger [Rated M, 23018 words, complete, 2023]

He feels it again – the fury, of Neil’s taunting precision, of his expertise honed specifically for Andrew. It makes Andrew furious. Andrew has not felt anything since he woke up with his head on fire, in a room with a man made of compressed violence. *** Andrew loses his memory of the last five years, and forgets Neil. Neil martyrs himself because of course he does.

**tw: threatened rape/noncon between major characters**, tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: blood/gore, tw: referenced animal cruelty and death, tw: vomit, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: murder, tw: implied disordered eating 

five times neil beat the babygirl allegations, plus the one time he didn't by r3mus [Rated T, 7488 words, complete, 2023]

neil will NEVER beat the babygirl allegations in MY heart but, alas, he would probably punch me if i called him babygirl to his face.

tw: violence

Damnation by X0X0HauntedX0X0 [Rated M, 15572 words, incomplete, last updated Jan. 2022]

Unkind and ever familiar, that anger Lola had triggered earlier returned with sharp teeth and without mercy. He would rip his time from their hands by force, like he’d been doing every day since he was born. Lola was clever as the devil, but Neil had been raised through the loopholes. She couldn’t hurt his Foxes if she was dead. Or Neil is much more dangerous than anyone gives him credit for.

tw: graphic depictions of violence, tw: torture, tw: blood/gore, tw: alcohol, tw: drugs

NB: fic art of post-torture Neil by @kazzyboy here

Maybe a Mobster by definitely_not_loki [Rated M, 1558 words, complete, 2022]

Neil Josten had transferred at the beginning of this season, and sure he'd been a nightmare for the team, but not in the "I was raised by a serial killer" kind of way. He was hard on the team—way harder than anyone had been before—and he wasn't even the captain. He was just some rookie striker from South Carolina. Most of the time she forgot he was anything but a rookie striker, but then someone would ask about his scars or call him a different name. Those were the few moments she remembered he wasn't just an asshole. He was an asshole with a past. So when The Event happened, she was terrified, horrified beyond all reason, but she was not surprised. Or, Neil is a badass motherfucker.

tw: violence, tw: blood

Neil has some bad habits. by evelynreads23 [Not Rated, 1068 words, complete, 2022]

Neil learnt things when he was young, how to wield a knife, how to hide a body. He was doing good and not thinking about it until someone was telling him he was a fan of the butcher. He was in a haze afterwards and freaked when Jack was being an asshole. This is Neil going to his roots but staying Neil, protecting Andrew and the foxes and not having fun when his past is brought up. Read at your own risk! :)

tw: violence, tw: blood, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: homophobia, tw: panic attacks

Dart Boards and Knife Fights by clumsylittlewriter [Rated T, 2983 words, complete, 2022]

"As if in sync, both of them dropped down into fighting stances and tensed their muscles. 'I apologize in advance if I end up killing you,' Nathaniel said, his voice dangerously quiet.  Natalie threw her head back and released a sharp peal of laughter, more malicious than anything Andrew had ever heard from her. 'Don’t get cocky, Butcher-boy,' she taunted, her eyes glittering with vicious glee. The Butcher’s smile reappeared on his partner’s face." (a game of darts reminds Andrew that Neil was raised by someone fascinated with knives)

All the masks I've left behind by SagaEllen [Rated T, 1879 words, complete, 2021]

Neil does not cry. Aaron asks for help. And everything is such a mess.

tw: knives, tw: violence

all for his foxes by Olympyas [Not Rated, 2469 words, complete, 2021]

If he wanted to defend his family Neil wouldn't be enough, but someone else would, just this time, just for them. This is how Nathaniel opened the door and managed to stop the knife threw at him. And that was familiar, It even became a reflex by now. They taught him. Lola taught him in a way he wouldn't be able to forget. Lola and Romero come for Neil directly at Palmetto and Neil defends his family.

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: blood, tw: knives

AU:

Dead Ringer by HalloweenReaper [Rated E, 18892 words, incomplete, last updated Nov. 2023]

“Potential.” Riko slammed Neil against the wall again and whirled on Kevin. Kevin stared back at him, white-faced and tense. “You said that goalkeeper had potential and then wrote him off as useless when I offered him to you....” - The Foxhole Court, Ch. 13. Nathaniel was given to Ichirou as his private hitman after his skills as a marksman were revealed when the Moriyama tracked him and his mother down after they ran away. Riko decided to surprise Kevin with matching “pets” after he found out the goalkeeper Kevin was interested in had a twin. When Nathaniel is ordered to join the Ravens for a year to cover for a series of hits, his smart mouth meets Andrew’s prickly attitude and things get interesting.

tw: abuse, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: animal abuse, tw: panic attacks

Different Roads by frankelled [Rated T, 33944 words, incomplete, last updated Oct. 2023]

Nathaniel became Ichirou's 2nd when he was 10 years old. To protect Nathaniel from becoming a target no one can know, which leaves him in the Nest. When Kevin's hand breaks Nathaniel is in charge of protecting him from Riko, but now in Palmetto

tw: violence, tw: injuries, tw: implied/referenced abuse, tw: panic attacks

Andrew's Regret by pandaseek [Not Rated, 13860 words, incomplete, last updated Oct. 2023]

“The first three were all former foster parents of Andrew.” Piggins continued, unable to take a hint from the frosty office he’d admitted these things too. “No.” Aaron panicked, staring at Andrew in disbelief. “Andrew has never been…!” Wymack shifted his weight on the filing cabinet, reaching down to grab his trash can and passing it across Andrew in time for Aaron to grab it and spew a cascade of vile liquid into it, while Andrew pushed his chair onto its back legs and avoided all eye contact with those in the cramped office. Andrew knew who did this. The only person who had ever willingly gone to bat for him. A person he had mistakenly believed to be dead long ago; this was proof to the contrary. Except… Except that there was one name missing. - A prompt from Justthislazy, based on my original Lifeline, that I just had to pick up and run with. Thank you for the amazing idea!

tw: implied/referenced murder, tw: implied/referenced csa

Promise, I Can Give You a Reason by maydaykevin [Rated T, 1689 words, complete, 2023]

Something else happens in the fated Millport locker room.

tw: violence

I'm An Accountant by boomba77 [Not Rated, 24101 words, incomplete, last updated Oct. 2023]

Abram Hatford is an accountant. A legitimate accountant. He may work for an infamous crime family, but his hands have been clean for years (of blood, at least). He is a translator and an accountant. He flies under the radar, his existence hidden from the public by his family, and he prefers it that way. For him, the words ‘safe’ and ‘unknown’ are synonymous. So, when one of the Hatford empire’s more lucrative businesses begins stirring up the wrong kind of attention and losing money as a result, the Hatfords require discretion and brains. Their elusive Abram is the only person for the job. Andrew Minyard is a part-time server at a random diner and a part-time bartender at The Den, where he spends most of his time drinking what he’s supposed to be serving. It isn’t until strange things start happening around the club that Andrew decides to pay a bit more attention to the shady shit going on at his work. And then, when a stranger shows up looking for work with a perfect resume and a symmetrical face, Andrew finds his suspicion, and his interest, double. All of the death and destruction is bad, sure, but at least it’s interesting. OR Waiting for death is not living.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: dissociation, tw: nightmares, tw: panic attacks, tw: scars

Rheostat by NeilfuckingJosten [Rated M, 14315 words, incomplete, last updated Aug 2023]

Nathaniel Wesninski, alias Neil Josten is finally out of the Nest and into the world of professional exy. Deadly, smart and worse than his father, Nathaniel will bring a storm into Andrew's quiet world. AKA, they meet in the pro's.

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced abuse

I Was Ruined From The Start by BrokenPineTree [Rated M, 39021 words, incomplete, last updated April 2023]

Neil’s grin is audible as he replies. "Riko’s antics getting outed to the public would make him a liability. And I do remember telling you that threats need to be dealt with accordingly." Kevin's stomach lurches into his throat with the conclusions he jumps to. "So, you’re gonna go back to the Nest?" He asks quietly. Slowly. Unsure how to feel about Neil putting himself in that situation again. He can't do that, right? He has other things to worry about now. Neil hums disapprovingly. "Try again," He offers. Kevin does. "You're... coming to Palmetto?" The au where Kevin doesn't have full confidence in Andrew's ability to stand between him and his lurking demons after only spending a few months at Palmetto. But with the dangerous card itching to emerge from under his sleeve, does he really need to?

tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: nonconsensual drug use, tw: panic attacks

True Crime by mostly_maudlin [Rated T, 1789 words, complete, 2022]

All Andrew needed was the WiFi password.

tumblr posts:

Neil Does Not Like when people mess with his people. by @hmmm-shesucks [tumblr, 2023]

Whenever any of the foxes are slightly inconvenienced by someone enough to complain about them, Neil always asks, “Do you want me to take care of it?”

tw: implied/referenced violence

Neil gets in a fight by @hmmm-shesucks [tumblr, 2023]

Neil gets in a fight on the court and it’s one of those where gloves are dropped and helmets are thrown and the punches are quick and hard.

tw: blood, tw: violence 

Neil is dangerous and Aaron knows it hc by @thefoxholestuff [tumblr, 2021]

I love the idea of Neil being the really dangerous one rather than Andrew and the Foxes all being Shook and Andrew being a gay disaster over it

Part 2 - an expansion 

here’s an expansion of my Neil-is-dangerous-and-Aaron-knows-it post,

one night the foxes are at edens and some guy starts to harass Andrew hc by @zipperuser103 [tumblr, 2021]

I know that Neil “starts fights that he can’t finish”, but I refuse to believe that he has no fighting skills at all.

tw: violence

Art

bamf!Neil  by @emry-stars-art

(Feat. BAMF? Assassin? Secret Agent? Neil) by @baylecn

Good boy, junior by @jayjuls

Killer In The Mirror by @allfortheslay25

Killing Eve AU by @rainbowd00dles

Wesninski looks good on you by @ouijacine

[madmanwonder]

Prompt

If they had kids

Tatsumi x esdeath

Name: Angus the Iron Bear

Gender: Male

General Appearance: Angus shares the same physical characteristics of his deceased grandfather but with his father hair eye color and hair color.

Personality: kind-hearted, caring, charismatic, idealistic and benevolent with a slight sadistic and dominating attitude.

Special Talents: Indomitable Willpower, Master Horsemanship, High Pain Tolerance

Who they like better: His Father

Who they take after more: His father with a slight bit of his mother.

Personal Headcanon: Angus never knew his mother and never cared much about it due to the less than fortunate circumstances behind of his birth.

Face Claim:

[legends-of-time]

Strength of a High and Noble Hill (Outlander Story) - Masterlist

Timelines:

19th and 20th Centuries

17th and 18th Centuries

Fraser Descendants (family tree)

Warnings:

Major Character Death, Minor Character Death, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period Typical Attitudes, Period-Typical Sexism, Period-Typical Racism, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con

Summary:

May 1744

He wriggles his toes, feeling his environment. He quickly realises how much his surroundings are constricted, his legs are tightly bound and he is being cradled in someone’s arms. He opens his eyes and sees a woman leaning over him and realises she must be the one holding them. She’s humming softly with a warm and happy smile. He can see that her skin is clammy and there are bruises under her eyes, the eyes that are amber, golden-brown as well as smoky topaz, but that doesn’t dim her smile as she gazes upon the person in her arms. She’s white and her brown hair surrounds her face in messy curls.

——

What if Claire and Jamie’s first baby survived and what if it had been a boy. How will the story change?

Chapters:

Chapter 1: Birth

Chapter 2: First Months

Chapter 3: Peaceful Family Life Disrupted

Chapter 4: Goodbyes

Chapter 5: New Beginnings

Chapter 6: A Fish Out of Water

Chapter 7: Conflict

Chapter 8: Sister

Chapter 9: Returning

Chapter 10: The Truth

Chapter 11: The Loss of Hope

Chapter 12: Coping with Change

Chapter 13: Finding Him

Chapter 14: Moving to the Past

Chapter 15: Loss

Chapter 16: Lost Family

Chapter 17: A New but Old World

Chapter 18: Reunited at Last

Chapter 19: Big Brother

Chapter 20: Coming Together

Chapter 21: Fathers

Chapter 22: Dreams

Chapter 23: Fathers and Their Archaic Ways

Chapter 24: River Run

Chapter 25: A New but Old Face

Chapter 26: Caught in the Act

Chapter 27: Family Time

Chapter 28: New Beginnings

Chapter 29: Waiting

Chapter 30: Old Dreams

Chapter 31: Inferiority Complex

Chapter 32: Community Swelling

Chapter 33: Purpose

Chapter 34: First Sight

Chapter 35: Is it Happily Ever After?

Chapter 36: Gifts and Awkward Conversations

Chapter 37: Unravels

Chapter 38: Lay Up Trouble For Yourself

Chapter 39: War Wins Land, Peace Wins People

Chapter 40: Life Goes On But The Threat Looms

Chapter 41: Building Arsenal

Chapter 42: Romeo and Juliet

Chapter 43: Baggage Weighs You Down

Chapter 44: Misunderstandings

Chapter 45: Should auld acquaintance be forgot?

Wattpad access

fanfiction.net access

Ao3 access

[i-butter-not-be-a-bot]

A is for Anubis (part one of my alphabet whump)

Ah yes my strange urge to whump gods is banging on my door. There is a whole big story behind all of this but since nobody really cares nor do I feel like typing it all out... Have a whumpy one-shot without context.

Note: Mentions of rape so if you'd like to avoid that...

Anubis lets out a small sob as he is yanked forward by the leash attached to the dog collar he was forced to wear. Martain tied the leash to his desk and started to put his pants back on. Anubis just curled up and cried, shivers wracking his spine. He feels so dirty, so used, and so so tired.

He desperately wants to go home, he doesn't care which one. The cool stone walls of his castle in the underworld, where he has lived for hundreds of years. Or the cozy brick house next to the field where he found safety and hope for a little while.

A bitterness spread through his head, he ruined it all by accepting that duel so far back he barely remembers. He ruined it by coming when the puppeteer summoned him. By accepting the duel. By allowing her to torture him, to take away his powers. He ruined his second home by being there at all. It was his fault Jade is dead. It was his fault that the house was burned down by the puppet master. The guilt is still overwhelming.

Meanwhile Martain is done putting his clothes back on. He lets out a deep satisfied sigh and grins darkly, "So Morte, do you regret lying to me now?" Anubis shudders, "I wasn't- I wasn't lying, master. Really," he shakes his head rapidly. This time the circus master seems to finally understand that Anubis isn't lying. For a second Martain looks hurt, hurt that his brother will truly never come back but that expression disappears almost instantly as he grabs Anubis' neck. "If you're not going to say anything useful then how about you keep it quiet or maybe," he slams the former god into a wall, "just sound like the filthy animal we both know you are." Martain is still grinning madly. "But master-" Anubis shuts up immediately as Martain's fist hits his face.

"You heard me, now be a good boy."

[bitchin-witchin]

My brain is so rotted. I was thinking about this post

And then for some reason the neural highways still working in there were like,,,, what if foul legacy had a barbed pussy? 🤔 MAYBE NOT TO SHREDS, depending on the mood but even then like u can have it be more like real life where the spines some animals have aren't like hurty ouchy they're more like little keratinous bumps, but being an abyss monstrosity,,,, something like vagina dentata is v inch resting,,,, thinking about the abyss and all its inhabitants, how that could be a helpful body part to develop 😗 since childe is just so irrestiable and breedable across space and time 😂

[wildjuniperjones]

OC-tober 1: Bat

Day One of @theworldofprompts‘ OC-tober is starting off with a ... bat!

(See all of the OC-tober and Inktober challenges here!)

All the trigger warnings! Abuse, magical headfuckery, stalking, implied r*pe... Yeah, I don’t know where this all came from, but here it is. Have I mentioned that my content is not for minors?

If you’re still with me, let’s have a peek into Anya’s past.

Sere never asked Anya about the baseball bat that stood behind the door to their apartment, and even if she did, Anya wouldn’t really explain.

Because how can you explain the fear, the gut-wrenching paranoia that this would be the night, that fae’d come back with friends this time, that all the screaming and crying would amount to nothing in the face of faer. That anything, anything they could do to put space between themself and faer would be better than any other outcome.

It had started innocently enough, just mutual attraction, flirtation, casual sex, followed by the occasional request by either one of them for a repeat performance. Then somewhere along the way, Anya became occupied by other things, focused on their work or another partner, and fae… fae kept pushing. Fae would show up at Lusti’s offices bearing flowers and that same charming smile that melted the hearts of every receptionist that stood between faer and Anya.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out that faer charming smile had the force of magic behind it, although faer good looks and vibrant personality went a long way as well. Rakish turquoise hair, lime green eyes, tanned skin, and the only trace of faer true ancestry, a whisper thin tail with a tuft at the end. Faer body moved like a cat, sinuous and graceful– and just as prideful. Faer desires were open, obvious, naked in their boldness against the muted backdrop of duplicity and manipulation.

Anya had told faer no, that they were through, that they didn’t want to see faer anymore, but fae kept coming. Once a week, fae’d wait outside their building on the off-chance that someone would buzz faer in, and head straight for Anya’s door. Locks were nothing to something like faer, but fae was nothing if not polite, and would knock three times before letting faerself in. Once inside, Anya’s memory would end, only to begin the next morning– alone, sore, and desperately in need of a shower.

So they took a detour on their way home one night. Thought they’d try out for their job’s softball team, they told the clerk. It was inexpensive, that tiny feeling of control. The warm wood beneath their hands. They loved the way it felt to swing the bat with the raw power of their rage at the batting cages. So what if they never hit a single pitch? That wasn’t the point. Don’t laugh, don’t cry, don’t let anyone know why you’re really here.

The next time fae came around, Anya was ready for faer. Thirty-three ounces of maple upside a fair folk’s head would do the same as it would to any mortal, with the banishing hex burned into the wood adding an extra kick for faer extraplanar side. The heavy crack when it made contact, the way faer crumpled at their feet, only to dissolve into dust and fade away as the hex glowed lime green in the late night gloom… It all served to make sleep come that much more easily. Finally.

But banishing spells don’t last forever, and so the bat stands behind the door, next to the umbrellas and the costume cane, beneath the mail sorter and the mirror where they check their makeup before leaving the apartment. Sometimes, when they think Sere isn’t watching, Anya will touch the pommel of the bat lovingly, with a strained smile.

[dwoality2123]

There was no clear time to be told. No exact date, exact time, exact moment that would be able to tell people. It was this...

Poison.

This slow killing poison that settles in the gaps of your jonts, the spaces in your muscles. It flows with your blood, following the set trail set by the veins. Until it reaches your brain.

If you asked, you would not be given a clear answer as to when everything cleared up and the thought came.

It was something that was planted long before the time came. It slowly blossomed, the poison as its water that tarnishes the soil it growing on.

It seeps into your being, poisonous, inky black blob of venom that crawled into the crevices of your body, your orfices and settled into you. Blending in with the crowd in your system until it leaked into your soul, painted your heart, manipulated your mind.

It was the blueish, the purplish, the disgusting array of colors that appeared on your skin as the bruised formed from another hit from an unloving and unlovable and disgusting and cruel and demonic hand. It was the bright and angry red that shaped itself as a hand that cupped the entirety of one half of your face.

It was the leakage of dark red blood that tasted like iron and smelled like it from your nose or your split lip or a cut from a bottle shard. Or the torn walls from where it slipped outside and slipped back once more.

This poison.

It takes several forms. It could be that droplet of blood that fell on your desk with a "plink". It could be the next person you talk to. The next hand that slots itself in your hand and it feels so so so wrong. It could be that stripe of saliva somewhere on your skin. It could be that look of a parent so unlike a parent's.

It could be the glinting of a silver blade that blinds you and cuts you with it's sharpness, and that blood that drips from your hand to the matress. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another. And another.

Until.

Until it forms that big wet puddle of red. Like wet paint leaking across the surface of the canvas and spreading. Or blood on a tissue that spreads and leaks onto the bottom.

It could be that void in your chest as you stare at the opened and lifeless eyes of an abuser. Eyes that opened a minute before the final breath was taken. Fear etched onto them. That same fear you saw in your reflection. That same fear you saw reflected into those cruel, cruel orbs.

It could be the steps you took as you walked out.

Or it could be the tiny splash of water from when you dropped the bloody knife.

Or it could be that feeling in your chest you can't identify as you watch the crime, your crime, your sin, reported in the news and printed in the papers and talked around.

Or it could be that sickeningly sweet feeling you felt as you moved forward. Or the faint regret as you looked back.

Or that happy, giddy feeling as you left and started new.

Or that ghostly, cool touch of a hand that explores your every part with a burning, seering, hot pain.

Or that feeling of fear and relief when you woke up and your heartbeat's loud beating of thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thump, thumo, thump...

[friendlylocalwhumper]

The apartment is beautifully clean. Every mug in the cabinet is lined up with the handle angled to the left. Every stainless steel surface is kept polished, the countertops have nothing but a bowl of decorative fruit painted in cheery colors, the coffee table has been sanded and freshened up to erase old rings of coffee stains. Quinn lounges on the couch, comfortable but refusing to pull the throw blanket off the back of the couch to cover their chilly arms because it’s sitting so perfectly where they laid it.

Knuckles rap quietly against the front door. All wandering thoughts about how elephants are cute when they use their trunks to drink water are erased in an instant. Wary brown eyes flit to the door. They are shirtless, freckles and scars on display to the empty, cold room. The patio door is in their bedroom, and the nearest window will creak if they try to push it open quickly. There is a gun under the coffee table, and one in the cabinet above the sink, and a knife in the entryway drawer, but none of those will really do much good if Quinn doesn’t have enough time to strategize. They don’t even know who’s there.

Pajama pants brushing against the sofa cushion as they swing their legs to stand up, the spy shakes their head to get their curls out of their face. They showered this morning and took care to curl their hair like they were undressing a wound, cleaning it, and redressing it. Now they’re wondering if that was a mistake. It was certainly stupid to have changed into pajamas this early in the night, to have not even bothered to grab a shirt. What if this is someone who expects them to be playing the role they used in some random mission months or years ago? What if it’s someone here to kill them? Do they really want to die wearing plaid?

The soft knock comes again. It’s oddly respectful, like the sound of someone unnecessarily asking for permission before entering a mausoleum.

The handle is cool under their swollen hand. It always seems to be too warm and tender, the other not so swollen but far more stiff, and it just gives the most awful cracks and clicks when forced to move. Quinn doesn’t spare the attention to frown down at their ugly crooked fingers as they turn the doorknob and crack the door open.

Exhausted dark eyes. Aquiline nose, bushy eyebrows, collarbones standing out under the neckline of a white T-shirt.

He watches them calculating whether there’s any point in closing and locking the door. Oscar doesn’t speak yet. Quinn yanks their fingers back from where they’d curled around the edge of the door to peek; their hands go behind their back, and they keep the door in its position with the side of their foot pressed up against it instead.

“I need to come inside,” He says in his low, urgent but patient tone. He’s staring right into their soul. A sickly sweat beads at the back of their neck and sticks to their hair.

But the door swings open, and Quinn stands aside only to close it again once he’s in. They lean back against the door with their hands safely between their spine and the wood.

Oscar leans heavily on the kitchen counter as soon as he reaches it. He’s tracking blood across the floor, and more drips down his neck, flowing maybe from somewhere under his hair. He is wearing his uniform pants, but not the shirt that would make any fed stick out like a sore thumb. He looks like he was tossed out of a moving car and didn’t find a safe place to crash for days after that.

He turns to them, and they consider that he might expect them to rant at him, or stare at him impassively while they wait for an apology, or try to kill him. Something rational for the very clever, very dangerous Quinn Mae to do. All they can manage is to watch him, respectfully avoiding eye contact when he almost establishes it, too scared to bolt or to stand their ground.

“…Your place is different.”

They don’t look around. As clean as it seemed to them before the knock came, they recognize now how unacceptably filthy it is. The dust on the windowsill. The papers scattered across the desk - is there anything sensitive there? - no, it doesn’t matter, he knows everything. The throw blanket isn’t really at the perfect angle. They’ve let themself fall apart, they’re obviously not recovering very well. They haven’t even been doing missions, and Oscar will know that, of course, because he is an expert in Quinn Mae.

“Haven’t… haven’t kept up, I missed trash day and - no healers around to help when, when I can’t… you know.”

His eyes are on them again. Quinn endures the inferno of his judgment and breathes through the feeling that they’re going to faint. They’re fed, hydrated, rested, healthy. They don’t faint anymore.

“What?”

Glancing up, they finally meet his gaze only to find that it holds confusion and hesitance, not judgment. Although he is a remarkable actor when he wants to be.

“Um. My place.”

He blinks. “You think it’s bad? Messy?”

It must be a trick question. Their breaths come a little quicker. His eyes go to their chest, and they know that he can see their fear plain as day. “…Yes. Yes, it’s… clearly.”

They are consumed by his calculating eyes, and they do not quail under the gaze that they grew used to while working under him.

Oscar thinks about the time he watched Major nearly beat Quinn to death, and their pleas for Oscar to just leave, their swearing that it was their fault and they had it handled. He thinks about how many months it took to earn their trust, to manipulate them into feeling safe with him, and then how they thanked him for pushing until they told him their most painful secrets. He thinks about the last month and a half that he saw them at work, when they were taken from him because he wasn’t getting results from them anymore, and they were given to Davian. How Quinn rapidly deteriorated into a humiliated, doe-eyed bedwarmer, a source of entertainment.

The time when Davian dumped them on the floor of Oscar’s office and told them they were allowed to do one piece of paperwork for their old boss. How Quinn took the paper offered to them by Oscar with shaking hands, and focused so hard to getting every detail right because they were desperate for a chance to get to work again, to think critically, to be useful for their mind.

Once again, he scans the room and sees no big project. No pieces of taken-apart locks on the coffee table, no corkboard with plans and pictures and blueprints, no books lying open. It’s like someone dipped their hand into Quinn’s mind and scrambled it all up, hollowed it out, until they were nothing but tensely waiting for the next threat to loom over them.

Oscar is the one who did that. And Oscar is the threat now looming over them.

He’s never had a chance to… never wanted to feel it up until now. But the weathered and weary fed looks back at Quinn and sees what a deeply important, powerful person they were striving to be, and how far down he struck them. What he took from them. Their hands are at their sides now, unconsciously no longer being protected. They look small and uncertain, but still dependent upon the rules he established when he was breaking them. Oscar was in charge, he was aware of everything, and all they had to do was try their best to do excellent work for him. The air of the room is almost charged with expectation. They want him to tell them what he’s here for. Tell them what to do. What the latest threat is, what he’ll do to them if they don’t comply.

“Would you give me your hands if I told you to?” He asks, not sure whether he’ll be angry or relieved if they say no.

A second of hesitation is all that they’ve built up in their recovery. One second of clear apprehension before they hold out their hands to him, even stepping forward so they’re in easy reach.

Oscar runs his hand over his face, scratching at his scruffy chin. When it becomes clear with the increasingly awkward silence that he’s not going to break their fingers on a whim this time, a blush burns across their cheeks. Quinn pulls back and leans against the door again, arms somewhat folded, hands near their core.

“It looks like you were kicked out,” They croak. “Or you escaped.”

“Escaped?” He counters, feigning confusion. It’s more out of pride than anything, but they see the deceit alone.

“You were trapped too. I was slow to figure that out.” He hears in their tone that they loathe themself for being slow, and it’s absolutely not true, but it’s the painful truth to them. “Looks like you just barely got out, tried to survive by hiding out with warlocks, got kicked around. Now you’ve come to me because, ironically, you need my help.”

He doesn’t look impressed. He is, but any reaction that he gives will be read as an act. So he waits to hear what else they have to say.

“It looks like that’s what happened. It makes sense that that would be how it went. But I’m not going to believe it.”

There it is. He knew they’d be wary. Of course they would, he betrayed them. He’s a well-trained liar.

Their heel bumps against the wall as they back up just a fraction more. They look like they want to escape, but they’re the one holding the door shut. They’re the one trapping him in here right now. He wonders if they want him here, if they need it somehow.

“It’s not very original to come back playing the victim,” They add. “Why would I believe you? Why would I help you? After everything?”

They might have meant it as an accusation. It doesn’t sound like one. It sounds like they’re questioning themself more than him. Oscar wishes that he could hold them and let them cry it out, or let them reel from whatever numbness they might have been using as a shield since they got out.

“I just need to be here.” He doesn’t advance, but Quinn’s breaths get shallower like he’s closing in on them. “It’s a last resort. I’m not asking you to do anything, go anywhere. Just let me rest here.”

The apartment smells like them. He wants to collapse onto their bed and breathe into their pillows and pretend none of this ever happened, that he never did anything past befriending them and sleeping in their bed.

It does seem to strike them as odd that he’s not making them leave, or ushering more feds in here to haul them back to the facility. “I’m not… I’m not going to fall for it again. Fall for you again. You’re really here to try the long game again? Do they really think so little of me, that I’m that stupid?”

He feels like he’s sinking toward the floor. Oscar sighs. “You can use your magic to see if I’m being honest. I don’t care. Where can I crash?”

Their stiff, pink-tinted sore hands curl slightly around their sides in a self-soothing hug. “…I won’t get on the bed.”

That twists unexpected guilt in his gut. The exiled fed nods slowly. “Do you want me to take it?”

Quinn has no idea what to do with any of this. They shake their head, opening their mouth then seeming to think better of whatever came to mind. “Um. Yes. Sure. Are you hurt? I mean… you won’t die in there, will you?”

He must look even worse than he feels. Oscar shrugs. “If it hasn’t happened yet, it won’t tonight.”

[deadsetobsessions]

Once more the hallucinations hit, and once more I am here writing it out.

My brain is fucking terrifying and I want out, so bad. This came to me in the form of a nightmare.

Also, please don’t take the timeline into consideration, because I have no idea what’s going on. Again, nightmares and dreams tend to not have the best coherency when it comes to plot and timelines. The reincarnation doesn’t have a name, I was too busy feeling terrified. Shit in parentheses was how I experienced the nightmare. Everything else is just me adding sprinkle sprinkle.

——

Ra’s al Ghul.

Talia al Ghul.

Two names that she had been aware of, in the peripherals of her hyper fixation. Two characters meant to enhance the story of the Dark Knight. Side characters, on a good day. Perhaps, a main antagonist on a better day.

On a bad day?

Main characters. Real, living people. Real, living, breathing assassins.

Unfortunately, they’re her new family. One she remembered coming into, bathed in a pool of blood and screams.

She was not a baby.

She is now, a baby. The first of Talia al Ghul’s children. The eldest, once Damian al Ghul was born.

Swaddled in emerald green and gold silks, she was presented to a man with silver streaked hair and a receding hairline. He too, was robed in green and golds.

“A daughter, Talia?” He rumbled, the smooth Arabic flowing out of his mouth failing to hide the acrid disappointment. The child, past the haze of confusion of suddenly being deported from her own adult body into one of a helpless child, felt a stirring of irritation. It’s good she learned the language, because now she knew exactly how Ra’s felt about her. The child grumbled a displeased sound. Not that she would have ignored the fact that her grandfather was Ra’s al Ghul. (He smelled like moth eaten fabric and blood- but I think that was because my cat accidentally scratched me.)

“My apologies, father.”

“Do not tell the young detective of this. Had it been a son, perhaps things would have been different. No, a daughter would only hinder him.”

Talia bowed, hands tightening on her daughter. “May I raise her, father?”

“A resource is still a resource. Go ahead, Talia.”

“Yes, father.” Talia took the dismissal and bowed before leaving.

On her way back to the room with the reincarnation’s crib, Talia al Ghul stroked her daughter’s head.

“I wish you were born a boy, my daughter. I am sorry my beloved will never know of you.”

The reincarnation looked at her new mother. She’s young, the woman-child realized. A teenager.

“You’ll have to be useful, my daughter. Your grandfather is not so kind as to keep the useless. I… do not wish for your death,” her mother muttered.

Great. She got new life and it’s already in danger.

——

She learned to swing a knife. Swords. She learned and devoured the teachings. She learned to be useful.

But then they asked her to take the life of a man who did her no wrong.

Her baby blues clashed with her grandfather’s Lazarus green.

She was still young. A child.

“No.”

“No?”

“He did no wrong.”

“He failed, granddaughter.” Ra’s smiled down at her, patronizing. Cruel. “Perhaps you possess your father’s heart, and you are foolishly sentimental, as women and children tend to be. But in the end, you are an al Ghul and you will obey. Plunge in your blade and I will reward you.”

The reincarnation looked at the man kneeling in front of her, resignation and a hint of pity in what little she could see of his face.

She’s already died before. What did she have to be afraid of?

“No.”

They tried to beat the weakness out of her. It didn’t work.

——

The reincarnation stared at the mirror, left alone in an opulent cage of gold and emeralds and precious stones that meant little to her now.

Her hands traced her back, small fingers finding purchase in soft skin. Her mouth opened fruitlessly, noise refusing to escape. She still felt the burning magic, the brand her own blood had carved into her skin and soul because she refused to kill. The chains her grandfather had shackled around her with magic and cruel amusement.

She had killed him, in the end. Obey, or be punished. Her body had moved without her permission, the reincarnation a prisoner in a body that refused to do as she commanded. The knife swung, a life taken, her hands dipped in red.

She learned a valuable lesson that day.

There were things worse than death.

“This is an order, granddaughter.”

The Magic had flared a searing heat at her neck, forcing her to kneel on broken legs. Ra’s loomed above, authority in his voice. She was bound to obey, regardless.

“You will never speak another word of affection, you will never speak another word to anyone unless I allow it. Perhaps this will teach you of your folly, and your place in this world.”

The loss of her freedom and the fear that came with it was a bitter and devastating lesson.

——

Ra’s al Ghul was so much worse than what little she knew of him.

She was right to be afraid for herself.

Her mother had worried, when she’d withdrawn and refused to speak to her. Even if she could, the reincarnation would not have wanted to. The reincarnation had felt furious, back then, when she thought of Talia. Her mother who refused to protect her. Her mother, who claimed she loved her but refused to see the chains Ra’s wrapped around her neck. She who plied the reincarnation with a supportive hand but forced her into the fighting pits.

But, as the reincarnation stumbled out on bruised and used legs from Ra’s al Ghul’s meeting chambers where he had allowed his business partners to partake in her, she realized that Ra’s was a monster in a human’s body and her mother was a victim of his making.

The lesson Ra’s taught her that day was that if she was not useful, if she did not kill, he would take what was left of her and make use of her.

Hate flared in her heart, and the beginning of Ra’s downfall began the day he let her go from the chambers alive. Injured, but alive. Injured and violated, but alive and furious.

——

She carved her hate and rage and helplessness and fear in the bodies of the people he bid her to kill. Her silenced screams were expressed in the way she splattered blood, the way she covered herself in it. A killing machine first, a stress reliever second, and a child… wasn’t on the list of things she was allowed to be.

His enemies were felled, one after another. He gave her his approval, something she detested.

But still, she continued, bodies racking upwards, tens turning to hundreds, hundreds edging into thousands.

The red in her ledger became ichor and guilt. Her language became violence and obedience.

“You have become a sharp tool, granddaughter.”

She was a genius, after all. And now, she could not disobey. A blade that Ra’s believed will never point towards him. She kneeled. She obeyed.

“Thank you, grandfather.” Her words were only allowed to come out- without searing, terrible pain- when she was thanking him. She tried not to do it as often as he wanted. He thought he broke her when he read the obedience she carved into her body language.

But she never bowed. Never. Not to him. Never.

——

“My weapon could learn much from your granddaughter,” David Cain sat across from Ra’s, wine in their stupid goblets. How she detested the green and blacks he’s seen fit to dress her with. She’s dressed provocatively, not of her own choice. She doesn’t have much of those- doesn’t have much in ways of choices- these days.

She was twelve, and Ra’s al Ghul deserved to die.

“Her combat is a higher form of what my daughter has achieved. How did you do it?”

When Ra’s began to reply, she slipped away.

She found the girl. She found… the cage- the black box- the child was placed in. The child flinched from her when she opened the metal box, fear only easing as the reincarnation kept her body language neutral and kind. (It was pitch black, and about the size of like, a closet. No light. Only from whatever door the box had.) (Cass’ hands hurt from banging on the walls to be let out)

David Cain’s daughter, her mind whispered, the memories of another life once more making itself known.

“Cassandra.” She whispered, regretting it immediately when pain wracked her body. She fell to her knees as the punishment for disobeying an order slammed into her.

The girl looked at her in concern, but did not move closer. The reincarnation stared at this girl and saw a reflection of herself.

David Cain would be here for a month. She will free Cassandra in those days.

——

The weapon stared at the girl in front of her, kneeling in pain.

She did not understand.

-

The girl came back. Water. Food. Kind.

The weapon felt warm. The girl was quiet. No sounds. Good. The weapon knew the girl understood. The weapon thinks that the girl is a weapon too.

-

The girl comes back, again. This time, she makes a sound. It hurt her, but she did it again. The weapon understands when the girl points at herself and repeats the sound. The sound means the girl. The girl expects something from the weapon.

The weapon makes the sound, flinching to see if the owner will come to punish it. The girl purposefully sits, relaxed but vigilant… and protective. Of the weapon?

The weapon relaxed. It repeated the sound, pointing at the girl.

The girl smiles, in pain. But approval. The weapon feels- the weapon is warm, like under the blanket. Approval.

The girl teaches her to make sounds but the weapon communicates without it. It does not like the sounds, does not need them, but the girl seems to think it’s important.

The weapon likes the girl, so the weapon learns. They still understand through no sounds, through reading each other.

-

The girl comes back, silently. Secretly. The weapon does not notify the owner. The weapon feels- does not want to.

The girl- the girl with the sound- she says a different sound. Her body tells the weapon that it’s important, this sound.

And when the girl points at herself and says her own sound, then points at the weapon and says that new sound again, the weapon begins to understand.

The girl had given the weapon her own sound.

“Cass—n- ra.”

“Cass,” the girl said, and Cassandra understood.

“Cass.” Cassandra pointed to herself.

-

The owner wanted- wanted Cassandra to end a life. Cassandra watched the owner kill and gesture to the dead thing.

Cassandra did not want to.

When Cassandra is placed back into the pitch black box, she waited for the girl.

The girl came.

“Don’t want.” Cassandra clung to her, reading the welcome and the sadness in the girl’s body. Cassandra tucked her face into the girl’s shoulder. She is cold. The girl is warm.

The girl hugged her back. The girl understood. Sadness hardened into lines of determination. Cassandra felt… light. Felt hope.

-

Cassandra slipped away from the place, water in her pack for the dessert and money to run from the country. The girl stayed behind, seeing her off. The girl tells her to never come back.

Cassandra did not want to leave the girl behind, but the girl could not go.

“Be free, Cass.” The girl had whispered through the pain. “For the both of us.”

——

Her grandfather knew. He allowed David Cain to break her, not kill because she was of use to him still, as a lesson. She found that she hated his lessons. But, she hated his attention more.

And still, she could not regret. How could she, when Cass trusted her with what fragile hope she had?

So, she lets him beat her, and provokes him with smirks and fearless eyes because the longer he’s focused on her, the more time Cass has to run.

Then, he gets too angry, and insults Ra’s, whose eyes grew cold. Her grandfather gestured and while she usually hated the command that followed that gesture, she could not feel that hatred now.

She got back up, legs broken and arms twisted once more, and attacked David Cain.

Ra’s would not follow Cass. Not when she was not his business to deal with, and not when David Carin’s fury amused him so.

David Cain would not follow Cass. Not while she still drew breath. The reincarnation stood, and threw herself at one of the best assassins of the century.

She tore his throat out with nothing but her teeth. She felt, for once, not like a monster. Not even when Ra’s nodded in approval and ordered for David Cain’s broken body to be cleaned up.

——

She’s been granted a mission in New Jersey, once her months of discipline- of torture- ended. She does not get ordered to find Cassandra. She’s fourteen now, and as silent as ever. Her mother had adjusted to her silence by then- long ago, actually, taking it as a quirk her daughter had developed. She hadn’t been a terribly vocal child, after all. Talia praised her for being useful even as a woman- the self degradation something the reincarnation had no doubt Ra’s had insidiously trained into Talia- and for being loyal to Ra’s.

Sometimes, she hates Talia for being- for-

Never mind. She couldn’t afford to hate anyone else.

She killed her targets early, determination and wistfulness urging her movements into sharp . Then, she made her way to Gotham and slipped into the city of darkness- where her father was.

She watched as he hid in the shadows almost as easily as she did. She watched as he flew and glided with the younger Robin. (He was younger than her by a year. She checked.) He was free. They were free.

She wished…

As she turned away, she saw a child tumbling from the edge of a roof. It was an instinct she’d thought Ra’s had managed to bury after the months he’d spent making sure she killed only children.

She hated him.

She caught him, swooping in and tucking him against her side as she plucked him from the air and plopped him back onto the crumbling roof of Gotham’s slums.

“Oh, thank you! So much- are you a vigilante?” The boy asked, looking at her masked face. It’s a good thing she wasn’t exactly dressed like a regular League operative.

She shook her head. Her eyes fell onto his camera, faint memories rising once more. She had an inkling-

“I’m- uh- Tim!” The boy introduced himself nervously, edging away from her silence. “Thank you for saving me…?”

She nodded. She pointed to the camera, tilting her head.

“Oh- you… want to see it?” He clutched his camera closer. Oh, he did have some sense of self preservation. She wondered why a seven year old was allowed to roam these streets… but she did worse at seven.

She held her hand up and back up. The boy hesitated, and then showed her the camera. “Uh- I took pictures of Robin and Batman!”

They sat on that roof for hours, and she let Tim Drake tell her stories about her father and his son. Ward. Son.

She could tell that Tim didn’t have anyone to listen to him.

She didn’t have long until she had to go back or risk severe punishment, but… she could make time for Tim, to listen to him.

She wondered if Cass managed to escape completely. She wondered if her sister all but in name and blood learned how to smile.

——

Tim had never had a friend before!

She listened to him! And gave him hugs the one time he was brave enough to ask! And she seemed to like Batman and Robin as much as he did! No one who didn’t like them would listen to his endless rambling otherwise, right? (Tim was super skinny, like ribs poking out skinny. He looked like a sickly Victorian child and he was kind of cold)

“And then, Robin went like this,” he pantomimed the awesome punch Dick Grayson did on a Joker goon. “And the guys got knocked out just like that!”

His new friend nodded, looking interested.

“Sorry, am I talking too much?” Tim asked anxiously. He didn’t want to make his friend hate him!

She shook her head, and gestured for him to continue.

“Are you sure?”

She nodded.

His new friend was so cool! She even taught him how to throw a punch and to fight!

——

When she had to leave, she prepared Tim for it.

“Do you have to go?”

She nodded and placed a hand on his head, ruffling his hair. Her other hand held a duffle bag with an assortment of weapons she carefully kept from him. (One of the blades still had guts on it, which, ew.)

“Try not to fall off anymore roofs, little photographer.” She said, smiling at his shocked look before leaping away.

“Wait, you can talk?!” He shouted at her back. She smiled a little wider.

——

“A son, this time.” Ra’s al Ghul’s voice echoed in his disgustingly flashy throne room. It rings of approval.

The reincarnation stood behind her mother, eyes cast downwards.

“Well done, Talia. I finally have a worthy heir.”

Damian al Ghul cooed.

The reincarnation was scared. But… she could not allow her younger brother to be trapped like she was. She’s fifteen now, a decade of slavery having worn her down and nearly broken her. But with her brother… no, she could not allow it.

She met her mother’s eyes and knew then that they agreed. Protect Damian, at all costs.

She ignored the sting of envy. So what her mother could not find it in herself to protect her daughter? So long as she protected Damian, it didn’t matter.

Maybe she didn’t matter. Maybe she wasn’t worth anything. Maybe- maybe- maybe.

She also ignored the seed of disgust she had for mother’s actions in conceiving Damian. She couldn’t do anything about it. Talia was also a victim.

A louder voice in her asked if she could really excuse that, when Talia had a choice and she chose to hurt and violate Bruce Wayne like that. She wondered if she could truly ever forgive Talia. She wondered if Bruce Wayne got therapy.

——

She stared at the tome in front of her, eyes blank. (Actually, she had no eyes. Like? Empty sockets, but then later she had eyes???)

The brand- the shackles- the chains could only be broken if Ra’s died. She wasn’t opposed to that. But if he died, so did she. She couldn’t even kill herself to get out, because the chains would be there even if she died. If she was revived- a high chance, thanks to the fucking pits- then the chains would still be there.

Perhaps… she could use the pits?

Her mind turned and turned.

——

“This is your ukht.” Her mother pointed at her. Damian stared up at her, and she melted. Her brother was too damn cute.

“Ukhti?”

She nodded as her mother smiled in joy. “Yes, habibi.”

She was better at hiding the pain, now. She was better at enduring it, too, that fucking burning feeling. She spoke more, but only to Damian.

It would not do for her brother to grow up not knowing how to receive verbal expressions of affection. Not like she did, in this life.

Still, it hurt to speak. But then, she had an idea, based on Cassandra.

She could not speak, but speaking wasn’t the only way of communication. She’ll teach Damian sign language- standard, as commanded- but also her own version. Yes, she could do it. It wouldn’t be hard.

She was a genius, after all, and creating languages wasn’t as hard as people seem to think.

——

Damian copied her, small fingers patting his hand four times.

She did it back to him. “I love you.” She tells him, with sounds and with motions.

He does it back, excitedly, because he had a secret with ukhti!

——

Sometimes, she dared not to touch Damian. She wants to ruffle his hair and give him hugs but the ichor on her hands reminds her to not get to greedy. She did not deserve it.

Not when her hands were stained with the lives of so many people.

——

Another mission.

She was twenty now, and not much closer to escaping her bonds. Though, once she hit her majority, Ra’s lost interest in her in that way. A blessing, even if she had to seduce his “business partners” into giving him better deals more often now.

She stops by Bludhaven. The Robin she watched so many years ago- six, by her count- had grown new wings and moved. She wanted to see if he could fly still.

He could. He flew as free- no, freer than his days as Robin.

She dipped away to complete her mission (nuclear weapon trading, really?) and swings back to see a spider trying to break the former Robin’s wings.

“No.” Nightwing whispered, staring upwards at the cloudy sky blankly. “Please, stop.”

She didn’t need to hear any more. She saw red, and dove feet first straight onto the spider’s head, knocking her out.

She picked up a near-catatonic Nightwing, and helped him to his apartment. She left Tarantula in the rain and felt zero guilt about it.

He changed mechanically, some kind of instinct keeping him from removing his domino, but it was a bit pointless considering she escorted him to his personal apartment.

She watched as Nightwing slipped into an exhausted sleep before leaving. She had a spider to squish, and traces to hide.

——

Dick wakes up, drained and exhausted. He… someone saved him.

He sees a scrawled note, handwriting impeccable enough to be a font, written with his pen. He picked it up from his table, and his eyes tiredly read the message.

“Don’t worry about Tarantula. Or your identity.”- A friend.

He remembered- the mask- the mask of the stranger that saved him vividly. He’d remember. And he’d thank them if they ever came back.

——

She was in charge of training assassins, these days. A year and a half later after Bludhaven, she was back in Nanda Parbat, and she’s devoured every magical tome she could get her hands on. They all say the same things.

Her assassins were trained well, and Ra’s praises her with more responsibilities as he followed the pit in his obsessions. Her mother began to splinter the group, not knowing that as Ra’s began his descent into madness, people looked towards her instead of Talia for leadership. They did not know that her unwavering presence by Ra’s side wasn’t voluntary but it is their true that she became his right hand out of pure skill. And flawless obedience, of course.

Then, someone new joins.

Someone with pit rage and empty eyes that goes rigid when she approaches.

Then again, most of the operatives freeze up when she walks towards them.

Her memories roar. A child.

He bowed, and her eyes followed the streak of white hair at the forefront of his skull.

She gestured at him to follow, and ignored the pitiful eyes the rest of the assassins gave to the kid- they act like her training was hard when she went easy on them (it was)- and led the kid towards the training rooms.

She knew who he was, even if her grandfather and mother didn’t think she knew.

Her… Bruce Wayne would probably appreciate his son being returned relatively sane.

But first, she had to beat the Pit out of him. Then, she could assign body guarding duties to him, in an attempt to protect him.

——

“Grandfather, I will take Damian’s punishment.”

“A whipping girl, granddaughter?” But he nodded anyways. He made Damian watch.

She kneeled and allowed the punishment. She couldn’t always protect him from Ra’s, but this she could do anytime. It’s not like she was unfamiliar with the torture. (The whip had barbs. Rusty. And they sprinkled salt.)

——

“I liked poetry….” Jason Todd tells her after a training session. “I think.”

“Sure. I’ll call you Grave, then.” Pain. But she was used to it.

He tilted his head, eyes going blank once more. She sighed. There went his memories again. (His eyes were blank and glazed. Like looking at someone you love and knowing they’re looking through you.)

——

“I would not trust her,” she says to the air, next to a Red Hood emerging from Talia al Ghul’s chambers. She could see it, the beginnings of Gotham’s new crime lord. But still, “Talia al Ghul is known for her lies.”

She pushed away from the wall. It was up to Grave if he listened. It was out of her hands now.

——

She’s twenty-five, and she’s helping Damian pack for his first meeting with Bruce Wayne.

“You must not tell him about me.” Because he’d come rushing here, and she had worked too hard to save Damian for her fool of a father to come and ruin all of that effort.

“I promise.” Her little brother said solemnly. Ukhti said it out loud, which meant it was important and she expected him to keep that promise.

The only other time he’d heard her speak was to tell him she loved him.

The reincarnation smiled and told him through their special sign language, to treat the current Robin with respect and to try his best to get the current Robin to pass down his title.

‘Robin is earned. They have different rules, over there. Try your best to learn those rules.’

Her brother was sheltered. She loved him, but he was spoilt and sheltered. Of course she was worried. Talia barely mothered him.

“I know. You do not have to remind me so often, ukhti.”

She smiled, and patted his head.

“Be safe,” she whispered. “I will miss you.”

Damian darted in for a hug. “Of course. Goodbye, sister. See you soon.”

She hoped not. It was hard enough to convince Ra’s that Damian would learn more under Bruce Wayne.

(She was locked in a small closet- like Cass- for about a week, because she brought up the idea first.)

——

She found it.

The answer to pit rage laid in an old, all but crumbling tome from Atlantis- answers “from a ghost.”

——

Bruce Wayne died. Months after Damian came to live with him. That- irritating- she sighed and worked with her mother to turn Ra’s al Ghul’s attention away from Gotham, lest he called Damian back in Bruce Wayne’s absence.

The little photographer caught grandfather’s attention. She stood vigil as he played chess with Ra’s. His interest in Damian wavered. Anticipation blurred in her veins.

She saved his friends. Her assassins. She let them go, telling them to wait for the little photographer’s plan. (Y’all miss girl had fucking bloody handprints on her pants like someone tried to grab it.)

The first few people who had an inking she might not be loyal to Ra’s… and it was them.

When her other assassins attacked Red Robin, she cut them down before they could touch him, helping him with a furious League of Spiders or whatever operative. She hated spiders.

“What…?”

“You’re a lot of trouble, little photographer.” She sighed. His jaw dropped.

“It’s you!”

“Go,” she cut him off. “Blow this place up. I left a surprise for you outside.”

——

“Owens?! Z?!” Tim trembled, exhaustion and shock and wonder hitting him at once.

“Heya, boss!” Z chirped. Owens helped Tim up while Z helped Tam. Pry walked around them, looking out for further threats. “The nightmare trainer let us go. She knew you, I think.”

Tim smiles, all shark teeth and zero hero. (In the background, the song zero to hero from Hercules 2, played in reverse.) “Tell me more.”

——

Damian grunted, bracing himself for the magical creature’s attack.

“Robin!” His father barked out, panicked. Damian hoped he’d survive-

Shhhlk!

He looked up and there stood his ukht. She bounded forwards, using the odd fauna of the magical plane to bolster her movements as she sliced the creatures apart with her swords, magic humming brightly as she cut through them… and the magicians attacking them.

“What- what are you doing here?” He asked. She greeted him, three fingers curled over her shoulder.

‘My question is,’ she signed. ‘Why were you here without a magical weapon.’

Damian sighed as father stepped in between them.

“Who are you.”

“Batman. Cease your excessive worry. I trust her with my life,” Damian snapped. He stepped around a shocked Batman, looked him in the eyes, and unsheathed his katana. He handed it over to his ukht, who took it with amusement.

‘See?’ His eyes seemed to say. Father tensed when his sister unsheathed her own blade and handed it to him.

‘Are you here for a specific reason?’ His sister signed to him.

“Uh, you gonna introduce us, little man?”

Damian sent the Flash a derisive look and ignored him.

“We’re looking for a magician. He set a squadron of demons loose into D.C. last night. He has a tower.” Damian added.

“Robin,” Father growled. “Who is this.” Damian shot him a look and turned back to his sister.

The reincarnation tilted her head. ‘Tower… it’ll have to be that way.’

“Could you take us there?” Damian asked. Truthfully, he could find the way himself. But he wanted more time around his ukht. She nodded and Damian straightened.

“I feel like we should be concerned that Robin’s friend just murdered a bunch of people.”

His sister glanced back and ignored them.

“Silence, incompetents. Speak another word against her, and Batman’s no killing rule will be applied creatively.” He hissed. (The fucking surroundings hissed with him y’all what the fuck)

He turned when his sister ruffled his hair (Superman muttered a super shocked “what the fuck.”) and Damian allowed it. He had missed his sister.

——

[aftgficrec]

My favorite fics are soft andriel, and teen andriel.

Here’s my recs:

Raised on little light by maqicien

Falling is a lot like drowning by chaoticas_hell

This wasn’t in the prophecy (series) by Arirmis

(Account locked) Raise me up so you can watch me fall by Yes_No_ofcourse

And this last one is angst and dark but I do love it

Hiding scars under exy gear By rinz

Wow, that’s a lot of recs in one submission!  Usually we just get one or two 🤣. - S

You can find some of those fics here:

‘Raised on Little Light’ here (since updated)

‘Falling Is A Lot Like Drowning’ here (since updated)

‘Raise me up so you can watch me fall’ here (locked, now complete)

This wasn’t in the prophecy by Arirmis [Rated T/M, 73294 words, incomplete, last updated Feb 2024]

Percy Jackson AU where all of the foxes are demigods, Andrew meets Neil shortly after his mom dies, and joins him on the run instead of going back to camp. Part one spans from their first meeting to their first kiss; Part two will take place a few years later, when certain circumstances force them to return to camp, and Andrew has to deal with what he left behind, on top of their current problem. While both fics should be able to be read individually, it does make more sense if you read them in order :)

Part 1:  Cross your fingers, here we go (T, 25037 words, complete)

Millport is a horrible, dry as fuck little town in the vast nothingness of the dust hole that is Arizona, and Andrew hates it with vigor.  He has been tracking a horde of Manticores for weeks now, and isn’t that something? A half-blood having to chase after the monsters. He is starting to feel like one of Renee’s hunters, when Andrew is pretty sure the nasty scorpion-cats should want to kill him more then he wants to kill them.  Or, Andrew expected to find all sorts of things on his first quest. He didn’t expect a twitchy, blue-eyed half-blood with monsters on his heels, and he surely didn’t expect to fall in love with him.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/non-con, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: child neglect, tw: assumed character death

Part 2: Mortal Bodies, Timeless Souls (M, 48257 words, incomplete)

„Minyard! Get your ass up and put some armor on! Abby, Greene, get the infirmary in shape, border control just spotted a motherfucking Drakon in the woods!“ As if Wymack’s order triggered it, a ear grating screech echoes all the way to the big house. The camp counselor curses. „Move it people, there are half-bloods out there that need to get to safety!“  Or, for two and a half years, Aaron has been grieving the brother he buried, only to learn now, that Andrew is very much alive. He also has a scarred little shithead in tow, that Aaron wants to punch in the face regularily. Life is fun like that.

tw: blood, tw: violence, tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/non-con, tw: implied/referenced torture, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: child neglect, tw: assumed character death, tw: vomit

Hiding scars (under exy gear) by rinz [Rated M, 34309 words, incomplete, last updated March 2024]

Juggling a mobster serial killer household and high school is harder than Neil had anticipated. and that goth kid on the roof really needs to mind his own business. OR a high school AU where neil and mary never run from nathan and neil meets the foxes in private high school instead.

tw: implied/referenced child abuse, tw: implied/referenced rape/noncon, tw: implied/referenced self harm, tw: imlied/referenced torture, tw: graphic violence

[this-world-of-beautiful-monsters]

LGBTQIA+ Raph fics

Based on an Ao3 request; limited to pre-2k18 fics as per specification. You can also find this list and others here. 

The Chronicles of Karai Getting Her Shit Together by Crowdog @50-shades-of-cloaca - 2012 AU centered around Leorai, but also include Ace!Raph (tw violence, past csa, trauma, underage/rape-noncon, internalized ableism, self-harm, suicide attempt, nonconsensual drug use, torture)

Your Heart's Desire by Werepirechick - Rasey AU about groceries, holy water spray bottles, and the dangerous of summoning while drunk (tw violence)

De Novo by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Slash finds Raph at Northampton and sets about turning his world upside down (tw explicit, past violence)

Call Me What I Am by Kyn - A "surprisingly unsexy" intersex!Raph story where a stomach bug takes on strange new dimensions, and the fallout sends the family reeling (tw gender identity issues, underage rape/noncon, trauma, violence)

vulnerable by coffeeandcream - Raph doesn't know how to deal when Casey is gentle (tw insecurity, sexual content, intimacy issues)

A Collection of Raph & Casey Shit by coffeeandcream - Fluffy little stories about the street punk and the mutant turtle (tw explicit)

Kiss by melismatic - Casey and Raph debate the meaning of a first kiss

resolution by taizi @taizi - Raph welcomes in the New Year with Casey

well suited by taizi @taizi - Casey and Raph make a try at normalcy

Panda Wolves by Crowdog @50-shades-of-cloaca - Strange dreams force the Hamato to take a dark trip down memory lane; background Rasey (tw underage rape/noncon, csa, gaslighting, child abuse, attempted child murder, trauma, violence, bathroom issues, victim blaming, nonconsensual drug use)

Misdirection by thekumquat - Casey and Raph find revelation through miscommunication (tw light violence)

The Bandana by TMNTFOREVER666 - April discovers a secret; gnc/possibly trans/unclear Raph (tw misgendering)

fowo's TMNT universe by fowo - A series about Raph struggling to figure out his feelings for Casey; includes themes of asexuality (tw awkwardness, discussions of bigotry; the third story includes trauma, major character death, and grief)

Casey Trips and Falls... In Love by coffeeandcream - Casey and Raph's "friends with benefits" relationship takes on new dimensions (tw explicit, awkwardness, relationship angst, insecurity, self-esteem issues)

Winner Takes All by Adoradork for Duz-Machines-1984 - Raph and Casey engage in some rough games (tw explicit)

What Doesn't Kill You by ladycyon - Raph tries to hide his heartbreak at Casey's wedding (tw one-sided relationships, alcohol, unhealthy coping mechanisms)

Mixed Signals by ladycyon - Casey figures out the reason behind one of Raph's less human habits (tw implied sexual content)

"Chapter 3" from TMNT Smut Dump by suthnmeh - A brilliant piece of Rasey art (tw explicit)

Rough and Dirty by orphan_account - Casey and Raph get dirty in multiple ways (tw explicit)

Hobo Au Caseyraph by dragona15 - Art of Raph receiving comfort from an unusual source (tw implied homelessness)

Raph✘Casey | "La La Love" [HBD Justy!!] by Ransy - A magnificent Rasey tribute (tw flashing)

You're Fine by leones @leonsi - Raph visits Casey in the hospital and tries not to crumble (tw sickness, fears of major character death, referenced panic attacks)

Say My Name by LeeontheNeon - Shot of pure Rasey fluff

this art by snuffed - Crack AU where Rasey runs headfirst into the Twilight cover

our love is a forest fire by taizi @taizi - Raph gives Casey a place to rest (tw implied alcoholism, tw past child abuse, injury)

oh, but I'm not bitter. i'm just tired. by leones @leonsi - Leo's brothers help him with a breakup; featuring bi Raph (tw past family dysfunction)

"Alcohol" from ABC TMNT by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey and Raph celebrate a fight and make a discovery (tw alcohol, past violence)

"Enemy" from ABC TMNT II: Out Of The Ooze by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey won't let Raph go again (tw mind control, violence)

"Eulogy" from TMNT ABC IV: Turtles Forever And Ever And Ever by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph's boyfriend and friends help him find some closure with a long-ago loss (tw grief, past homelessness, trauma, past violence, implied ableism)

"Intruder" from TMNT ABC IV: Turtles Forever And Ever And Ever by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph's family learns about a change in his relationship situation (tw violence, nightmares, trauma, implied child abuse, implied sexual content)

"Tastes Like Blood And Tears" from Underground Rainbows by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - 50 sentences about Casey and Raph (tw child abuse, abuse, major character death, blood, violence, sexual content, homophobia, speciesm, trauma, crying, alcoholism, torture, mpreg, amnesia)

Merry Fucking Hangover by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Insight into the turtles and their friends on Christmas morning, including background Rasey (tw implied sexual content, implied family dysfunction, drug and alcohol use)

"Bloody Kisses And Fierce Hearts (Red)" from Covered In The Colors, Pulled Apart At The Seams by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph will do anything to save Casey, even when Casey doesn't ask for it (tw past violence, past gore, past child abuse, sexual content, past homophobia, slut shaming, past underage prostitution, past domestic abuse, mentions of alcoholism, blood)

Fallen Angel by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - AU where Hun brings home a trapped turtle for his criminal gang and equally trapped son (tw child abuse, violence, bigotry, slurs, suicidal thoughts, torture, dehumanization)

"I is for...." from Rainbow Soup by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph breaks the rules to take part in a pro-intersex rights demonstration (tw implied nonconsensual medical procedures, bigotry, fears of violence)

"White bodies naked on the low damp ground" from The Waste Land by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph and Donnie a special kind of heartbreak at the end of the world (tw horror, major character death, violence, apocalypse, grief, trauma, gore, corpse desecration)

"I never promised you an open heart or charity" from The Red Room (The Bloody Chamber) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph remembers a lost love while in the hands of a monster (tw torture, mind control, underage rape/noncon, blood, knives, sexual assault, humiliation, emotional/psychological abuse)

"There are loud toys" from "All are welcome and all have a home in the toybox" of The Red Room (The Bloody Chamber) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey is a dick, as usual (tw explicit)

"In public" from "Embrace" of We All Need Someone To Lean On by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey and Raph work out an awkward, but not-unbearable means of avoiding discovery via cuddles

Yo Woody by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Mikey writes Woody letters from Northampton; features background Rasey (tw implied csa, implied underage rape/noncon, family dysfunction, trauma, past mind control, past violence)

My Flesh To Rule by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey engages in a difficult, but necessary procedure (tw transphobia, harassment, brief slut shaming, abortion, accidental pregnancy, implied sexual content, medical procedures, anti-abortion sentiment from minor characters)

"First Dates" from sweet creature (we're running through the garden) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph and Casey head out on a perfectly normal patrol together

"Red Lipstick" from spice up your life (who would want anything else?) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey dresses up for the night and Raph takes notice

not gonna write you a love song by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters for leones - A story about genderfluid!Raph working out platonic desires and aromanticism with Casey's help (tw sexual content, brief internalized arophobia)

apathy's a tragedy (and boredom is a crime) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - In which Casey, Mona, and Raph deal with memes and bondage (tw explicit)

it's important to hold on (hold on) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Little Mermaid AU where Raph ends up saving a reckless human (tw blood, injury, near death experiences, emotional constipation)

"soulmates" from with friends like these, who needs by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph's an aromantic person with a soulmate, and he and Casey have to deal with that (tw insecurity)

"forbidden/star-crossed romance" from with friends like these, who needs by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph is called to serve in a moment of need

Turtlecest (wasn't sure if this counted for request, included it separately)

Casting Stones at the River by GoblinCatKC @goblincatkc-blog - Raph and his lovers reckon with the passage of time and how it refuses to touch them (tw tcest, explicit, family dysfunction, possible abuse, violence, mental health issues, explosions, apocalypse)

Blackout by Queen_B - The turtle family play a game of hide and seek with steamy stakes (tw explicit)

Past to Present by crabapplered - Raph and his family welcome Donnie home (tw explicit, past violence, internalized ableism, trauma, family dysfunction, past separation)

A Different Path by VenusTheMarvelTurtle - Raph finds his heart dangerously tangled up with that of Leonardo, the Foot clan's most ruthless warrior (tw explicit, torture, past child abuse, child abduction, violence, mental health issues, trauma, suicidal thoughts, torture, rape/noncon, past csa, toxic relationships, alcohol, vomit)

Twisted Autumn by GoblinCatKC - Leo and Raph try to discover who they are together (tw explicit)

Broken Brother by Koalagriton - Leo finds an unconventional way of calling a brainwashed Raph home (tw explicit, alcohol, mind control, identity issues, violence)

Haunted by Kiraynn - Raph does his best to help Leo recover from an ugly experience (tw past rape/noncon, trauma, explicit)

Evolution by Kiraynn - A timeline of Leo and Raph's slowly developing relationship, through the lens of a shared bed (tw explicit, underage/underage)

Hello by Gemi - Raph has an unusual encounter in the jungle (tw guns)

Release by Blackdragon @blackdragon-sama - Leo gives Raph the support he needs at the farmhouse (tw injury, trauma)

Gravid Problems by Gemi for Blackdragon - Raph and Leo try to figure out a sticky new situation (tw mpreg, sexual content)

Push and Pull by orphan_account - Raph has a willful brother to tame (tw explicit)

Abyssal by orphan_account - Raph experiences something awful and Leo tries to help him through (tw explicit, rape/noncon, near-death experiences, trauma)

The Games We Play by babygirl127 for hummerhouse - Raph tempts Donnie into a game (tw explicit)

Usually, Don plus bed plus moaning was always a good thing. by turtlesketches for DashWrites - Raph tries to help Donnie through a difficult time (tw explicit, mpreg)

Focus by babygirl127 - Raph and his brothers teach each other about focus (tw explicit)

Colorful by Anonymous - Raph needs to watch his smart mouth, but Leo doesn't mind (tw sexual content)

Uncover by orphan_account - Raph and Mikey negotiate the rocky new world of spanking (tw explicit)

Running Scales by orphan_account for InkyTurtle (Melodistic) - Dirty little stories about Raph and his brothers (tw explicit)

To Give by orphan_account - Leo and Raph put on a show for their family (tw explicit)

Lick the Bowl by Plastron - Donnie discovers Raph is up for licking a lot of things (tw explicit)

Raphael and Donatello by RomaMarufixx - A collection of sexy Raphtello stories (tw explicit, some fat shaming)

Eggs by squishyturtlefuckfics - Leo pushes Raph's limits (tw explicit)

Handyman by Plastron - Donnie pushes himself too hard and Raph takes advantage (tw explicit)

"The Secret" from The 100 by Alessa_DC - Raph and Donnie reel from a revelation

Raphael/Donatello Mating Drabbles by Plastron - A collection of both steamy and warm-hearted stories (tw explicit, mpreg, dubious consent, body image issues)

Lava Cake by orphan_account - Mikey and Raph figure each other out with food

Fair's Fair by TheAlchemistsDaughter - Leo provides certain services for the family, but Raph wants to give back (tw explicit, insecurity)

Same Coin, Different Faces by orphan_account - Raph and his brothers work out cross-dimensional sexual tensions (tw explicit)

The Red Herring by orphan_account - Raph tries to handle losing Leo, his soulmate (tw family dysfunction, relationship issues, shame, trauma, separation, not-actual character death, grief)

Montage by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Sexy stories about Raph and his brothers (tw explicit)

Stolen Time by GoblinCatKC @goblincatkc-blog - Leo has a strange request for Raph (tw shame, mature/explicit)

Libido in Question by Bad_WolfGirl - Raph and Donnie team up to prove the strength of Raph's libido (tw sexual content)

Drawing the Short Straw by squishyturtlefuckfics - Raph and his brothers play a game (tw explicit)

Kink-Off by Stegosaur - A collection of Kinktober stories, many of them starring Raph (tw explicit)

Primordial Monsters Get Good Coverage by orphan_account - Casey gets caught up in Leo and Raph's game (tw explicit, possible dubcon)

To Succumb by orphan_account - Mikey helps Raph test his limits (tw explicit)

Unwanted Bonds by Blackdragon @blackdragon-sama - Raph is brought him with heavy scars (tw explicit, trauma, child death, forced pregnancy, PTSD, depression, medical torture)

Forever is a Long Time by DuzMachines1984 (orphan_account - A collection of interwoven stories about Leo and Raph's relationship (tw explicit, trauma, dubcon, rape/noncon, abuse)

Party Time by orphan_account - Raphael is offered up at a party (tw explicit, alcohol)

The three times Raphael swore he was being stalked by Languidly - What it says on the tin, to the tune of Leo and Raph's developing relationship (tw nonconsensual stalking)

Burning Alive by spaze_cat - Raph and Donnie through interlinked stories about fire (tw injury, mentioned explosions, implied sexual content)

He Doesn't Scream by GoblinCatKC @goblincaveofficial - Leo and Raph's relationship takes a strange term (tw explicit, dubcon)

Someone Has a Choking Kink by glitch0_0 (orphan_account) - Raph lends Leo a helping hand (tw explicit, consent issues due to heat)

The Hots by Languidly - Raph can't keep his eyes off of Leo (tw explicit)

"Honor and Courage" from Everybody Wants Leo by Alessa_DC - Art of Leo and Raph together (tw very explicit)

Send Your Lifeboats Out For Me by Crowdog @50-shades-of-cloaca - Raph, Mikey, and Donnie try to figure out one of Leo's secrets (tw rape/noncon not between main characters, child abuse, victim blaming, genital mutilation, torture, trauma, violence, explicit)

The Driver's Seat by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Raph and Leo fight over who gets taken for a ride (tw explicit, dubcon)

At Odds by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Donnie tries to figure out his warring brothers; chapters 1 and 4 are particularly Raph-centric (tw explicit)

Doctor Donnie by PrincessFreak - Donnie pushes his brothers' medical limits; chapters 1, 4, and 7 are Raph-centric (tw explicit, dubcon)

Aggressive Empathy in the Abyss (AEITA) by Gemma Winchester (PrincessGemma12), PrincessGemma12 @princessgemma12 - Pieces of Leo and Raph's relationship unfolding in the shape of something awful (tw past underage rape/noncon, consensual underage, trauma, explicit, unhealthy coping mechanisms, flashbacks, psychological trauma, recreational drug use, PTSD)

Good as His Word by hummerhouse for NeatTea @neattea-ruby - Raph finds himself losing a high-stakes bargain with Leo (tw explicit)

Three Days Later by what_should_i_post_here - Donnie finds his place in Leo and Raph's relationship (tw explicit)

Hindsight is Twenty-Twenty by Crapapplered - Leo and Raph wage a war with Donnie serving as the battlefield (tw explicit)

Drabbles and Slash by her_silhouette - A collection of drabbles frequently centered around Donnie/Raph (tw explicit, relationship issues, shame, mind control, mpreg)

Full Throttle by Dorkjitsu - Donnie and Raph find new uses for Raph's motorcycle (tw explicit)

Erogenous by Kiraynn - Raph won't leave Leo in peace (tw explicit)

Heart to Heart by Crapapplered - Leo helps Raph when he worries about taking advantage of Donnie (tw mature/explicit)

Stairway to Heaven by Crapapplered - Casey, Raph, and Don share something special (tw explicit)

Rope by Crapapplered - Donnie is caught off guard by what Raph, Mikey, and Leo are up to behind his back (tw explicit)

TLC by Crapapplered - An injured Raph receives a very special kind of comfort from Donnie (tw injury, explicit)

Christmas Shopping by Crapapplered - Raph and Donnie go shopping together

Nara Black: Mirror's Shadow In My Skin by crabapplered, GoblinCatKC @goblincatkc-blog - Raph and his brothers desperately try to outrun a curse (tw violence)

Punishing Raphael by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Raph gets punished for coming home late (tw explicit, dubcon)

12: Raph and Leo dirty talk HCs. Someone had to ask. <3 by Blackdragon Sama - An insight into Leo and Raph's sex life (tw explicit, mock-possessive behavior)

Raph 18 by Blackdragon-sama @blackdragon-sama - Further insights into Raph's desires (tw explicit, dubcon)

Broken words - Leonardo, with this, this, and this related art by blackdragonsama @blackdragon-sama - Leo and Raph form a dark pact (tw sexual content, blood, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, intense self-harm imagery, mental health issues)

Black Swan by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Raph and Donnie's relationship takes a strange turn during a harrowing captivity, complicated by the presence of Agent Bishop (tw imprisonment, threatens of torture, molestation, rape/noncon, dubcon)

Knock Off by PrincessFreak - Raph struggles with his feelings for Donnie (tw internalized homophobia, misogyny, toxic masculinity, sexuality crisis, gender roles)

Leoweek RxL by NeiNing - A fan comic about Raph helping Leo out during his heat (tw dubcon, very explicit)

Trust by Kamefootninja (Kame630) - Raph learns to let Leo take over (tw explicit, phobia mention)

Show Time by Caroaimezoe - Raph witnesses something odd and it has reverberations through his relationship with Leo (tw explicit, relationship angst, insecurity)

The guilt you dont deserve [comic] by Traitmill - Raph comforts Leo after a painful experience (tw trauma, gore, explicit, guilt, blood)

Midnight Bargain by GreenElphaba - Leo and Raph find a kind of balance in their seemingly endless power struggle (tw explicit)

The Toll of Hours by GreenElphaba - Raph sits up by Leo's side and tries not to fall apart (tw injury, blood, trauma)

Let's go hunting by NeatTea @neattea-ruby - Sequel to Donny needs some love (that story has some dubcon); Leo and Raph share a special experience in a lake (tw explicit, mild near-drowning)

Losing All Control by renk3r - Raph tries to figure out what exactly irritates him about Leo (tw sexual content, mature)

Do you feel it? by Riu_wiu - Raph helps Leo come to terms with his guilt over their relationship (tw shame, relationship angst)

Self-Control by hummerhouse @hummerhouse - Raph doesn't want to be patient anymore, much to Leo's chagrin (tw explicit)

Chocolate by Kiraynn - Leo is the center of a mystery that Raph wants to solve

An Eggplant Among Pickles by Crowdog @50-shades-of-cloaca - The turtle brothers test each other's limits (tw explicit, dubcon)

"Raph" from I Routed a Labyrinth To Your Lap by orphan_account - Mikey gives Raph a special gift (tw explicit)

Quotes by what_should_i_post_here - Drabble collections from various turtle pairings (tw relationship angst, grief, loss, trauma, separation, explicit)

Bonsai by crabapplered - Leo works to change Donnie's role in the family, and Mikey and Raph take notice (tw explicit, grief, objectification)

You Are Shellarious by PrincessFreak - Raph has a strange reaction to his brothers' colorful language (tw sexual content)

Secondborn by SuuriSakara - Raph has his own way of dealing with Leo's return from Japan (tw explicit)

On the Fence by GoblinCatKC @goblincatkc-blog - Mikey gives Raph a very strange gift (tw extreme dubcon, sexual content)

Tmnt Exchange Art by Kitsune1818 for Caroaimezoe - Leo and Raph walk a dark path together (tw blood, injury, implied sexual content)

A Bet's a Bet by PrincessFreak - Raph owns up after losing a bet with Mikey (tw explicit, mild dubcon, homophobia, misogyny)

"Day 1 - Mikey/Raph - Rimming" from Taste Our Sins by squishyturtlefuckfics - Mikey irritates Raph by drawing things out (tw explicit)

My Good Girl (I) and My Good Girl (II) by squishyturtlefuckfics - Raph loves to play Leo's games (tw explicit, mpreg mention)

My own worst enemy by Caroaimezoe - Raph is determined to teach Leo a lesson (tw explicit, dubcon)

Kalamari by GoblinCatKC @goblincatkc-blog - Leo and Raph get very creative escaping a dangerous situation (tw sexual content, captivity, dirty jokes, threats of violence)

Notes on the Fridge by Geaven - Donnie, Raph, and their extended work things out over the fridge (tw sexual humor)

By Your Side by Kiraynn - Raph gives Leo the support he needs at Northampton (tw trauma, past violence)

Jungle Fever by Elphaba-Rose - 2007 AU where Leo and Raph end up in the jungle together and matters take a vastly different turn (tw explicit, violence, injury, savior complexes, mild dysfunction, blood, brief references to rape that doesn't involve either character)

Raphael x Leonardo drabble set by Goblin Cat KC @goblincatkc-blog - Raph tests Leo's limits after winning a late-night battle (tw mature, sexual content, possible dubcon)

story about SO3E01 by @ringingt - Leo awakens from his coma in a surprising way (tw surprise kissing, mild near-drowning)

yay! headcanons unite! by @blackdragon-sama - Headcanons about Raph being intersex; a possibly better term for this specific content might be dualsex, I'm not sure (tw sexual content, accidental voyeurism, inadvertent coming out)

come back for us by @blackdragon-sama - Raph tries to call Leo home (tw implied sexual content, mpreg, mind control)

Play Pretend by @blackdragon-sama, Elphaba-Fae - Leo and Raph try to find each other in the shadow of terrible things (tw explicit/mature, underage rape/noncon, csa, mutual dubcon, torture, emotional manipulation, painful sex, trauma, victim blaming, child abuse, blood, imprisonment)

meditation session by Spicyturtles - A comic about how Raph won't let Leo meditate in peace (tw explicit, possible dubcon)

Never Have I Ever by what_should_i_post_here - Secrets are unspooled during a drinking game (tw alcohol, implied sexual content)

30daysOTP SlashRaph by dragona15 - A collection of beautiful and steamy art (tw explicit)

Calm down. .Just Relax. by @ringingt - Raph and Leo on a rooftop (tw implied sexual content, possible dubcon)

We Care For You by Seigaku - Art where Raph's family shows him a special kind of support (tw explicit, background angst)

Mikey's first time by anomalae - The turtle family takes the virginity of one of their own (tw explicit)

luv ya bro by P-Jo Art - Comic where alcohol loosens Raph's tongue in the most awkward way (tw alcohol, underage drinking, homophobic language, possible internalized homophobia)

RRR/L by Navia - Art of a multidimensional Leoraph tryst (tw explicit)

Raph x Mike - Tight by EnclosureOfFish - Art of Mikey and Raph together (tw mature/explicit)

tmnt SxR hoboRaphau by dragona15 - Art of Raph having a highly charged encounter with Slash (tw explicit, implied homelessness)

Your argument is invalid by P-Jo Art - Comic where Raph goes to unusual lengths to get Leo to shut up (tw surprise kissing)

This art by languorous-sky - Raph and Leo mess around with rope (tw explicit, choking)

let me help you by Spicyturtles - Fan comic where Donnie gives Raph an offer in the shower (tw explicit)

Summer Home by spaze_cat - Leo and Raph come to an understanding on a trip to the seashore (tw light relationship angst, mentions of pregnancy)

kink sketches by @blackdragon-sama - Collection of Leoraph art (tw explicit)

those eggs by @blackdragon-sama - Art of Raph being disciplined and undone (tw explicit)

Beyond Our Control by SadoraNortica - The turtles get stuck in the past and have to deal with oncoming mating season (tw fears of child loss, explicit, consent issues due to heats)

Somewhat by Gemi - Raph and Donnie find their way towards perfection (tw injury)

Worth It by Kaliopeee - Leo catches Raph off guard (tw explicit)

I never had you down as... by @blackdragon-sama - Raph gets roped into the family entertainment (tw explicit, dubcon)

Close Shave by squishyturtlefuckfics - Mikey and Raph take advantage of surviving a dangerous situation (tw explicit)

Lure Rebound by Various - A magnificent Leoraph art collection (tw explicit, angst, separation, blood, dysfunctional relationships)

My Nightlight by squishyturtlefuckfics - Raph gives Mikey some much-needed comfort

Summer Blow Out Sale by Winnychan, xkingofgamesx - Donnie and Raph navigate the harrowing world of online shopping

How could he not? by ItsMickeyYouAss - Raph can't keep his eyes off of Leo

Visions: One Word Prompts by Gemma Winchester (PrincessGemma12) @princessgemma12 - A collection of 50 sentences from different AUs, with heavy Leoraph throughout (tw implied rape/noncon, implied incest, teen pregnancy, identity issues, addiction, food insecurity, animal cruelty, blood, child abuse, implied underage rape/noncon, implied csa, gun violence, trauma)

Slave by Spicyturtles - A Raph/Donnie comic with heavy BDSM (tw explicit)

The Violence in These Delights by Sundayeyes - Raph and Donnie make a discovery about what they're both capable of (tw explicit, choking)

Jinkyo by Caroaimezoe - Raph races to save his brother from an ugly transformation (tw violence, rape/noncon, consent issues, mind wipes, identity issues, possession, blood)

[title unknown] by buttmagoo and nicecentrifuge - Raph can't get away from Mikey right now, and doesn't really want to (tw sexual content, mature/explicit)

According to deviantArt, it’s buttmagoo’s birthday. by @nicecentrifugre - Some sexy art based on sexy fics I, unfortunately, haven't been able to find (tw mature explicit, discipline)

Mikey/Raph, an AU where one of them is physically a girl and the other one finds out. by @nicecentrifuge - A trans!Raph AU where Mikey stumbles onto his secret (tw menstruation, accidental outing)

Fortress by @nicecentrifuge - Raph and his brothers try to survive the end of everything they've fought for (tw torture, mutilation, rape/noncon, underage rape/noncon, abuse, emotional manipulation, unhealthy relationships, nonconsensual drug use, trauma, family dysfunction, blood and gore, medical issues, unhealthy coping mechanisms, mental health issues, possible Stockholm Syndrome, grief, trauma)

UrotsukiLeo (Half-Shell Hentai) by meh_guh for aliassmith, Cthonical (Nellie) - Raph deals with his brothers' transformation (tw explicit, dubcon)

Tonight by cndrow - Raph and Leo negotiate the moments when people is hard to come by (tw relationship angst, dysfunction)

Old Fears, New Need by orphan_account - Raph and Donnie keep each other together (tw blood, injury, sexual content)

Quality Time by Kiraynn - Leo and Raph take a few early-morning moments together (tw explicit)

Lost and Found by Kamefootninja (Kame630), NaruButt - Raph and his brothers find a long-lost sibling named Donatello (tw past rape/noncon, past csa, past sexual slavery, trauma, miscommunication, violence, grief, possible consent issues)

2012 turtles nsfw head canons by orphan_account - Includes a section with Raph (tw explicit)

This animation by Hammytoy - Raph and Mikey quite simply go for it (tw explicit)

U R Beautiful by Caroaimezoe - Raph is jealous of Leo's attention (tw explicit, knives)

Halloween party - Gift for Katii-kee by RenegadeBleat - Leo and Raph at Halloween (tw explicit)

Steel by Plastron - Donnie and Raph experiment with Raph's san (tw explicit, discussions of violence)

Warm by DashWrites for Sakycchan - Leo needs Raph's help to deal with the chill (tw explicit, mpreg)

Claiming and being Claimed by DarkxKitsune - Raph and Mikey need some help with their heats (tw explicit, mild dubcon due to heats)

"Young Lovers With Their Legs Tied Up In Knots" from My Ghost, Where'd You Go? by Gemma Winchester (PrincessGemma12), PrincessGemma12 @princessgemma12 - Raph and Leo explore the occult and a hayloft (tw explicit, shame)

Is This Where You Want To Be? by PrincessGemma12 @princessgemma12 for This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Westworld AU where Raph visits a brothel and has a strange encounter (tw dehumanization, possible consent issues, discussions of fetishization, objectification, explicit)

Auto-Robotic-Erotic 2: Electric Boogaloo by squishyturtlefuckfics - Raph learns one of Donnie's more peculiar secrets (tw explicit)

Kissed By The Whip by Lisa_Frank - For once, Raph wants Leo to control him (tw explicit)

Natural Sub by GoblinCatKC @goblincatkc-blog - Raph and his brothers discover Leo's secret (tw explicit, discussions of dubcon but consent is strong here)

OT4 by Queen_B - A sweet, steamy series about Raph and his brothers (tw explicit)

Aphrodisia by Kiraynn - Leo is a scion of the Foot Clan, and Raph can't look away (tw violence, explicit)

Art by FaRaDo-Age - Raph and Donnie with some new getup (tw sexual content, mature)

Inspired by the dream I had last night. by nei-ning - Raph seeks comfort from Leo after a bad dream (tw nightmares)

and maybe it'll be clear when we get there by @leonsi leones for This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A collection of polyamory-themed stories, a lot of them including Raph; specific pairings are in the summary they were angelic enough to create (tw past abuse, self-harm, trauma, migraines, self-doubt, secret relationships, implied rape/noncon, implied csa, mental health issues/illness, vomiting, insecurity, self-hatred)

Colors by PrincessGemma12 @princessgemma12 - Multiamory March about a TMNT OT8 of Raph, Leo, Donnie, Mikey, Casey, Karai, April, and Shini (tw implied rape/noncon, pregnancy scares, implied violence, teen pregnancy, unplanned pregnancy, parent/child incest, csa, underage rape/noncon, abortion)

Walk Me Home by DarkxKitsune - Mikey trades letters with a prisoner (tw jail, discussions of molestation, potentially unhealthy relationships)

Raph is a Femboy by PrincessFreak - Raph's family discovers his secret (tw outing, dubcon, humiliation)

Call Me By Your Name by PrincessGemma12 @princessgemma12 - Leo and Raph try to figure out a mind swap (tw explicit, self-esteem issues)

I Keep Telling Myself This Might Be Nothing by PrincessGemma12 @princessgemma12 - Raph and his family stumble into a relationship (cw underage/underage sex, underage masturbation; tw identity issues, shame, loneliness, relationship difficulties)

This by Anonymous - Raph struggles not to be jealous, but Mikey makes it nearly impossible (tw possessive behavior, jealousy, potentially unhealthy)

“i was an island / before you came along.” - I Was an Island, John-Allison Weiss by lonescove - A magnificent art piece about Leo and Raph (tw implied sexual content)

Cliché (it was too late for me) by leones @leonsi - Story with Leo/April focus, but strong background Raph/Donnie (tw mild homophobia, speciesm, trauma, eating disorders, anxiety)

Did somebody say threesome? No? Oh well. 2007!Leo, 2012!Leo and 2007!Raph <3 by reosexuals - A multiverse-spanning art piece (tw explicit)

it's not revolutionary by leones @leonsi - Raph does his best to support the turtle he loves (tw mentions of self-harm, self-hatred)

Almost Home by cndrow - Raph and Donnie make up for lost time (tw explicit, implied character death, separation, grief, trauma, stress)

Cussing fetish? by RiusTcestCave - Comic about Raph's unusual kink (tw explicit)

Just Practice by ninjazure - A comic about Leo and Raph's attempt to practice kissing, and how it slips out of control (tw implied sexual content, accidental voyeurism)

Art by nise - Leo and Raph share a kiss

Art by えんらい - Raph and Leo in bed together (tw explicit)

Art by ８２ - Raph and Leo celebrate Halloween

Art by ninjazure - Leo taking Raph apart (tw blood, sharp objects, very explicit)

Yeahh, have some tcest on flying pillows~ by sakycchan - Leo and Raph give Donnie some tender love (tw implied sexual content)

The Benefits of Not Shutting the Fuck Up by Floozdooz @floozdooz - Donnie is determined to shut Raph up (tw underage/underage, explicit, dubcon)

Raphael / Donatello tcest by cndrow - A series of stories about the genius and the brawler (tw explicit)

Strange Little Shadows by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - 50 sentences about Karai, Raph, and Leo (tw implied sexual content, mind control, injury, choking, trauma, major character death, grief)

The things that we could be by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Leo, Raph, and Karai camp out under the stars (tw explicit)

"But I'm brighter when you make me fade" from Red-Light District by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Leo and Raph have their own ways of connecting as a couple (tw explicit, BDSM)

"Dance with me (Mon amour)" from The House Of The Rising Sun by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Mikey is a born showman and Raph is just along for the ride (tw explicit)

Say you'll never let me go by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Donnie and Raph comfort Casey during his period (tw mild dysphoria, explicit, menstruation, pain)

"The Confession" from sweet creature (we're running through the garden) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph lets something slip during a squabble with Leo (tw canon-typical violence)

"Teddy Bears" from sweet creature (we're running through the garden) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph and Mikey go bear hunting at the carnival

"Grey Memorial" from i'm bitter (you're still in my head) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph comes to terms with his feelings for Leo far too late (tw grief, major character death, heartbreak, suicide attempt)

"The Embrace" from spice up your life (who would want anything else?) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph gets creative making Donnie take a break (tw implied sexual content)

"Fluffy Cuffs" from spice up your life (who would want anything else?) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph is tempted into letting Mikey take over for a while (tw mature/explicit)

Ripples In Dark Water by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A poem about Raph and his brothers, based on Casting Stones at the River by GoblinCatKC (tw violence)

"my eyes are glazed, 'cause they dug my grave" from you say I'm callous and I'm numb by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph struggles with all of the things he can't control after Leo's abduction (tw implied csa, implied underage rape/noncon, self-loathing, guilt, trauma, helplessness, violence, mind control)

wave your hands in the air if you feel fine by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters for PrincessGemma12 - The Hamato family celebrated living another day (tw implied past abuse, past violence)

under the water i'll be sharpening my knife by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Murder on the Orient Express through a lens of TMNT and polyamory (tw violence, blood and gore, revenge)

come on, come around (i've been feeling down) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - The kids who survived the apocalypse finds their relationships changed in the aftermath (tw trauma, apocalypse, guilt, grief, implied sexual content, mental health issues)

light in the crack that's separating your thighs by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph, Mikey, and Donnie express their affection for Leo (tw explicit)

i promise that you'll breathe again by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - SAINW AU where Leo, Raph, and Mikey deal with the fact of surviving (tw alcohol, implied sexual content, trauma, past alcoholism)

feeling like a boulder hurtling by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - The Foot's newest warrior has particular trouble with two enemies (tw violence, rape/noncon, mind control, emotional manipulation, identity issues)

gonna pop some tags by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Brothers and lovers through the lens of thrifting (tw implied sexual content, trauma)

there is love inside this madness (we are walking on the moon) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - After leaving their timeline, Raph and his family have to forge new lives together (tw memory issues, identity issues, sexual content, grief)

just gettin' started, don't you tiptoe, tiptoe (ah) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph and Usagi take Leo apart (tw explicit)

we'll pass it on to you, we'll give the world to you by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Four brothers write letters to their daughter (tw surprise parenting, implied sexual content, implied medical experimentation, grief, sick kids, trauma)

"Red (Life)" from Kaleidoscope Snapshots by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey and Raph try to reorient themselves after a close call (tw blood and gore, injury, past violence)

calling all the monsters - A modern AU with the Hamato family starring as a collection of queer horrors (tw bigotry, implied violence, implied torture, implied bigotry, unreliable narrator for the second, implied abuse, implied sexual content)

the music fills me good and it gets me every time by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A-spec!Donnie finds his place in his brother's relationship (tw explicit)

i'll be there to hold you (don't be afraid of the dark) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A series about Casey and the monsters who live in his skin (tw possession, explicit, dubocn, sexual content, mpreg, past suicidal thoughts, past abuse, violence, gore, potentially unhealthy relationships)

i don't like anyone better than you, it's true by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph, Casey, and Donnie deal with the fallout from an encounter with unusual flora in the woods (tw explicit, dubcon due to sex pollen)

i've been searching all night (light the fuse and let me take flight) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters for braeburns - Raph and Mikey deals with changes good and bad as they wreak a little havoc on the streets of New York (tw explosions, post Roe V. Wade life, implied sexual content)

green hearts raw and beating by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A story about the beings who live in the woods beyond a small town (tw implied violence, implied rape/noncon not involving main characters, mentions of abortion, mentioned nonconsensual bodily modification of a bad guy, curses)

just want a way of keeping you inside by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - A polyamorous love story written in tattoos (tw implied sexual content, sexual content, past abuse, trauma)

darling, are you ready for more? by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters for PrincessGemma12 - Kinktober drabbles about Leo and Raph (tw explicit, insecurity, trauma, flashbacks)

[i-butter-not-be-a-bot]

B is for Bellroc (part two of alphabet whump)

I don't think all of these will be nsfw, that being said, this one is. Proceed with caution or something.

Foreign hands touched Bellroc, violated them. They couldn't move from their position on the carpet as their clothes were taken off by the strange girl who won the battle. Bellroc felt humiliated, touched against their will, it was highly inappropriate what the mortal was doing to them. Bellroc was a demigod, not supposed to be a victim like this, prey to one of humanity's many bad apples. Bellroc's vision was blurred but they felt everything, every touch, like knives digging into them. The hands violated them completely, exploring every part of their body, pinching skin and even biting them a few times. Bellroc could only guess that what their opponent is doing is a humiliation tactic. The way they use Bellroc seems to resemble mortal reproduction rituals, or what Bellroc knows of them at least. For a second Belroc is strangely relieved they don't have genitalia at all. But then they feel something sharp being pressed in-between their legs. Tears jump into their eyes as the mortal carves their way and Bellroc can't do a thing. They feel useless now and fight their hardest for control, but it's useless the drugs still win.

[lilliesthings]

the only words that I'd known

relationships: Luke Alvez/Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid

wc: 8k

tw and tags: implied/referenced rape/noncon, ptsd, addiction, suicidal ideation, canon-typical violence, mentions of Tobias Hankel and Cat Adams, angst with happy ending

summary: His hands are shaky but he complies before he can give himself the chance to think about it, to talk himself out of it, because here and now, nothing is more tangible than the presence of Luke Alvez.

Like the hand that once guided him to safety in Mexico, it's an anchor so miraculous he sometimes imagines he manifested it himself, right as he was sure he would meet his end.

An alternate version to 13x02 where Spencer Reid is not quite ready to be reinstated.

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[lyriadark]

Lucky

Chapter 1/? - 1,244 words

You'd think a follower of Tymora would have better luck.

(she/her cleric tiefling Tav x Astarion, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers)

AO3 18+, MDNI. Chapter TW: implied/referenced domestic violence, implied/referenced past rape/noncon, implied referenced alcohol abuse/alcoholism, poisoning, tentacles, abduction

Notes: I won’t have a posting schedule for this, I will just update when I can. I have some difficult things going on in my life right now. There’s no sighting of our beloved elf yet, we are setting the stage. This takes place during the opening cinematic of the game.

- - -

It was time. Octavia looked up at the ceiling from where she lay in the gaudy four-poster bed and took a deep breath, shaking. She gripped the coin at her throat and offered a silent prayer to her goddess. Please be with me now, Tymora.Everything rode on this. She didn’t take a single glance at the source of the snores next to her, not now. She couldn’t bear for her resolve to break again, or to miss her timing, like she had the first few times she meant to do this. She had been lucky last night, he had drunk himself into a stupor and fallen asleep, paying her no mind. 

Her heart was beating so quickly. She rose from the bed as stealthily as she could, drawing on what she had been taught. She placed one foot delicately onto the cold stone floor and rolled, then stood. 

Octavia stalked over to her wardrobe. Careful of every movement, she pulled out a knapsack she’d been slowly filling in secrecy. With coin, rations, clothes, stakes, holy water, daggers, her trusty old mace. Necessities. She shed her long silk nightgown and replaced it with a simple blouse, bodice, trousers, and thick leather boots, suitable for travel. The outfit was not tainted with bad memories like her other clothes were. It wasn’t given to her with expectations attached, or as a flimsy apology for wrongdoings. And it was comforting to once again be wearing things that were meant for adventure, for exploring, for fighting. She had missed being on the road. 

She then bent down, picking up a small vial she’d hidden in a pocket in her bag. She walked over to the bar at his side of the room. Her chest ached. She was so close.

He was still snoring loudly, peacefully. She lifted the lid of his decanter off gently. She expected the two glass pieces to clack together as she did, but, thank her goddess- they were silent. Her plan was going to work. Everything was going to be okay. He was going to die, and she was going to be free to adventure again as she wished. 

He was going to die. 

The reality of what Octavia was doing hit her like the swing of a troll. Even though she was being careful to make sure he wouldn’t drop dead while she was in the house, the city guard would be after her and asking questions. Everyone she knew now, in their high society life, would be trading gossip about her for weeks. Months, maybe. They would assume it was her. She heard the whispers they traded behind feathered fans and starched cravats when she walked past. 

Dreadful thing, isn’t she? Those horns, those tattoos, that scar? And such a blank expression on her face. So quiet, so stupid. Poor thing. She ought to leave and go back to fighting monsters. And she can’t even bear him a child. I wonder when Lord Alden will trade her in for a new, pretty wife. 

And. She would be killing her husband, of course.

She thought of the boy she had trailed behind as a young girl. He had curled black hair and warm brown eyes, and laughed at the smallest thing. When they had grown a little older and closer, he spoke of the life he would give her. Comfort and beautiful jewelry. Her dreams would come true. The romantic tales she loved to read would become her everyday life. She’d have all of the love she could ever hope for, she’d be cherished and powerful and protected and at his side forever. 

He had kept his promise about the jewelry, sure- but none of the rest. That little boy she loved was long gone, if he was ever real at all.

She then lifted the vial, her fingers fumbling a few times with the cork. She poured half of the contents into the alcohol inside the decanter, and then padded to his bedside table to pour the rest into his mug of water. She tipped the last bit of the liquid in. 

Octavia couldn’t help but take a glance at him after it was done. It seemed as though time stopped. He looked much different while he was asleep. She could almost imagine he wasn’t a threat to her, like this. As though she had imagined it all, and the person before her was not to blame. Mouth wide open, spit dripping out the side. Hair tangled and stuck to his face in places. The snores echoing loudly through him, shaking his nostrils. The stench of yesterday’s alcohol emanating from his mouth. Her stomach turned. No matter how elegantly he presented himself in public, Octavia was still so often disgusted by him. His touch. 

She couldn’t pinpoint the moment that it happened. But over time he fell from the pedestal she’d placed him on. She realized that he never deserved to be above her at all. That his honeyed words were not who he really was. That if she did what she was told just well enough, he wouldn’t, in fact, begin to treat her with the love and kindness he promised. Soft words she wanted to hear were only used sparingly to get what he wanted from her. His true form was something slimy and grotesque and more monstrous than anything they’d fought together. 

I’m making the right choice, she told herself. When I leave, he will just find someone else to take my place. Someone else to use. And by doing this, I’m sparing them. 

And then the silence was shattered. She heard a rumble in the distance, from above. Chimes ringing from the church towers in alarm. The sounds of screams reached her ears from outside. 

Shit. 

Her husband’s eyes opened and he blinked, rubbing them in a stupor. “What are you doing?”

Octavia didn’t wait to see what would happen next. She bolted around the bed for the door, stooping to grab her knapsack on the way out. She leapt down the hallway, tripping a little over a vase, which shattered as she accidentally knocked it down the stairs- Oh well, I fucking told him there was a better place for that- and she continued sprinting. Past their maids, past her husband’s faithful manservant, who uttered a bewildered, “Madam?” 

She ignored them all, including the sound of pounding footsteps now chasing her from upstairs. She unlatched the door and sprinted onto the street, not caring that the door was left open behind her.

The city of Yartar was in an absolute panic. The noise was intense. Buildings were demolished, bricks falling everywhere. Horses pulling carts and carriages galloped past, some without drivers. People were running. The majority were fleeing to her right, so she looked left. Just in time to see massive tentacles reaching down from above. They were larger than any she’d ever encountered, and flailing out toward the people behind her. She saw one of them reach toward an older dwarf and touch the back of his head. As soon as it did, he was transformed into a black mist that quickly faded away. 

This was so much bigger than anything she’d ever faced before. 

She turned to run, and then she heard a loud swoosh above her and to her left. She ducked, grimacing- and felt a thump as something connected with her back. She hadn’t been fast enough. 

Her reality dissipated. Everything went black.