#not putting my actual age on here bc. internet safety or whatever but It My Birthday Haha

[stig-ishness]

happy birth to me~

i am born today :3

[otrtbs]

naaaaaaat hiiiiiiiii

what can you tell us about 🤠 Texas 🤠 (see I put little cowboys because that's all I know about you guys)

hello my lovely!

i have to be careful when i speak of texas bc i do currently reside here and i need some semblance of internet safety and online anonymity for my sanity and well being but hmmmm where to start??

we have the best bbq here ever. do not let other place like tennessee tell u otherwise. i will actually be so offended. texas is the bbq champ.

if ur bbq doesn't look like some variation of this,, if u can't get collard greens and sweet tea at the bbq establishment,,, no jalapeno cornbread,,, it is a BAD BBQ ESTABLISHMENT.

and speaking of food,,, texmex outsells by a landslide here (duh). do u know when i lived in scotland,, they didn't have chilaquiles or menudo OR HUEVOS RANCHEROS. bro. i was so sad. there is not a single day that i'm not grateful for our proximity to mexico. amen.

the cowboys here are cowboying. i wish i could be like "stereotypes!!" but i knew a kid in high school who literally rode his horse to school (it was like on april fools day or whatever but still pulled up ON A HORSE) also people dip tobacco here a lot which i think is super gross but whatever. and high school kids would make moonshine and keep in the back of their trucks. (which if u don't know moonshine is like illegal?? bootleg, make-it-yourself alcohol that normally tastes like gasoline and comes in mason jars like this)

driving here sucks so bad and is so scary because on some highways and roads the speed limit is like 75mph. and so the right lane is for ppl going the speed limit and the middle land is for going 5-10 over the speed limit and the far left lane is for going like 15-25+ over the speed limit. and everyone is zooming and they're all angry and we have guns here so i worry about road ragers and shit all the time. xoxo.

it is a crime and a sin to not like country music here. esp george strait.

we kinda hate oklahoma here and our roads are much better and smoother than oklahoma roads.

we're still in the bible belt so we have alcohol laws that are wack. dry counties, no liquor stores open on sundays or on some holidays, no hard liquor sold at gas stations or things (you have to go to a specifically designated liquor store) blah blah

um,, the rodeo is very much a thing here and it's so fun and it's exactly what you'd think a rodeo would be. tbh my fav part of the rodeo when i was younger was holding all the chickens and goats. i haven't gone to the rodeo in ages tho tbh,,, also i slayed at the mechanical bull riding ,,, and to this day it gave me a complex about riding an actual bull. like,,,,,lowkey,,,,, maybe i think i could do it (i couldn't do it)

okay that's all for now! enjoy this brief texas lesson mwah xx

[yyunari]

nari as one of the younger kids on sfw enhablr (i’m assuming you’re around 05’ - 08’) how do you feel abt the current content for the maknae line? like ik it’s not always super sexualized or anything but sometimes i see stuff that’s just the way it’s worded really rubs me the wrong way ☹️ esp bc some of the kids on here like you are so young it makes me feel like if they see stuff like that , they might start think it’s okay for others to treat them the same or vice verse … whenever i see edits of niki on tiktok , i have to avoid the comments bc there’s almost always like a “daddy” , “how is he 16” or “you don’t know what you do to me” like wtf he’s a literal child ?? it makes me so mad and honestly so uncomfortable :( and i saw an article on kboo today too that said niki apparently has around 200 explicit or mature fics written abt him on ao3 … sometimes even the fboi trope (usually when it’s written abt minors) bothers me bc i see minors writing abt it (like 13-15 y/o) and i don’t understand why they don’t just use the term player or smtg … bc they’ll go out of their way to mention how the character has sex a lot an whatnot , even that feels way too suggestive for me personally for a minor too write let aline abt a minor too , sorry for the rant,, i was just wondering how you felt … omg also though tbh i noticed that some of the minors on here / blogs in gen seem way too comfy on here like they’ll be sharing where they live , their actual names and sometimes like giving a lot of personal info … like did they not learn abt internet safety or do they just no care? as one of the older kids , i kind of worry abt them :( i really hope everybody stays safe on here <3 & some reminders: never be afraid to block anyone ! bc i’ve seen a lot of minors on here get sent stuff from the p*rn bots or just weird dms :( & u don’t need to force yourself to interact with someone , make sure ur comfy with them first !

oh my god i’m so glad u sent me this because ive been wanting to talk about it for a while 🫶

im quite literally the same age as niki and seeing how many people are constantly sexualizing him makes me EXTREMELY uncomfortable. most tiktok edits of him are borderline sexualizing him too, when the songs people use are about sex and things like that. even if the intention wasn’t to sexualize him, they still do so by using sexual content for him. it pisses me off how people see that as normal and even comment weird things (like how u said ‘how is he 16’, i see that comment a lot and its SO weird. why do people think this is a normal thing to say?? its implications make me feel iffy.) when niki is still a child. he is a child. “how is he 16” because he was born in 05 that’s how.

also 200 mature fics on ao3????? the majority of writers on ao3 are adults so thats really fucking weird and honestly disgusting. fuck anyone whos ever written a mature fic about niki or even portrayed him in a mature light. i agree with ur point about him being portrayed as an ‘fboy’ or whatever, why would u put him in that position as a minor????? “hes aged up” “hes in college” so its okay to change a real person’s age when it’s convenient for you?? enhypen has a hyung line, write your fboy fic about someone else.

im not saying you have to baby him or only make cute edits about him, but what i am saying is if you can’t appreciate niki without borderline sexualizing him, then unstan him. and this goes for other idols who are minors as well.

and dont even get me started on jungwon and sunoo. from my understanding jungwon is a minor because legal age in korea is 19? koreans please correct me if im wrong. but regardless of whether or not jungwon is a minor, he’s still just barely an adult. it’s still weird to make sexual things about him when he’s in this place in his life. and when sunoo became legal, y’all were fucking rushing to make smut about him and it was GROSS. yes he became legal, but he was still the same person he was before. you can wait for a while after they become legal to write things about them. they need to go through the transition period from being a minor to becoming legal.

and yes, some minors on here forget that there are sex bots and just gross people on this app. i got one of these bots in my asks a few days ago and it grossed me the fuck out (i blocked the user, and if u ever get one of these u should too). this is why i share so little about my personal life, and if i do im very vague. if you are my age or younger, please be careful on the internet. p3dos are so fucking gross and are something you don’t want to risk being involved with. so as much as u can, hide your personal life. i promise you that your life is worth so much more than some stupid app :))

anyways i really like answering questions like these so u guys should ask more, i like speaking my mind 🤗

[itsclownhours]

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

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morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

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young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

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lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

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arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

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uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

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morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

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gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

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gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

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morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

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leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

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morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

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arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

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gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

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lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

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gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

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morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

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merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

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morgause: customer (derogatory)

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arthur: business major (derogatory)

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leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

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morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

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gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

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leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

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morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

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morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

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mithian: fruit (affectionate)

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arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

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gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

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morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

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kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

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morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

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morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

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percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

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morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

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morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

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morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

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kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

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morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

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gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

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merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

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arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

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gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

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arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

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elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

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morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

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leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

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leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

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gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

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gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

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morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

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morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

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morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

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arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

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morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

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mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

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merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

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gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

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gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

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percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

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arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

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merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

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morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

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merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

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gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

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morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

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morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

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merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

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morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

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morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

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mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

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morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

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arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

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merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

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morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

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website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

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gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

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morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

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morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

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gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

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morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

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morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

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merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

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arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

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gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

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morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

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morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

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gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

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morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

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gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

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morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

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morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

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arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

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merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

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gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

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percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

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morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

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mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

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morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

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mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

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morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

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morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

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morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

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morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

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morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

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season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

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morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

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arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

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morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

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mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

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mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

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morgana: i deserve to be kissed

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morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

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mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

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morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

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morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

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morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

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morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

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merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

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morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

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arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

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gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

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morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

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morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

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merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

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cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

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morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

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gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

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morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

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morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

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mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

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morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

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morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

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morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

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leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

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merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

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morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

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morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

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morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

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arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

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merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

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mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

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morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

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leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

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morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

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mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

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morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

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arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

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leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

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gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

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gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

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leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

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morgana: i have no self of steam

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gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

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morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

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gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

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morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

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gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

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arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

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[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

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morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

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gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

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gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

.

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

.

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

.

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

.

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

.

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

.

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

.

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

.

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

.

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

.

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

.

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

.

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

.

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

.

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

.

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

.

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

.

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

.

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

.

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

.

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

.

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

.

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

.

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

.

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

.

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

.

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

.

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

.

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

.

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

.

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

.

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

.

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

.

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

.

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

.

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

.

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

.

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

.

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

.

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

.

gwaine: turn down for whom?

.

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

.

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

.

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

.

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

.

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

.

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

.

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

.

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

.

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

.

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

.

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

.

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

.

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

.

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

.

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

.

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

OR

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

.

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

.

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

.

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

.

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

.

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

.

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

.

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

.

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

.

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

.

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

.

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

.

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

.

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

.

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

.

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

.

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

.

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

.

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

.

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

.

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

.

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

.

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

.

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

.

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

.

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

.

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

.

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

.

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

.

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

.

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

.

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

.

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

.

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

.

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

.

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

.

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

[jjkfire]

update 4/27/21:

I'm working at a startup so it's extremely busy. but I love my job! i am trying to find the time to fit writing in my schedule tho. gonna figure it out someday lol. my stories are not abandoned, don't worry. all the endings and plot points have been planned. i'm just struggling to find the time to write atm. still very grateful for all the kind words and support you guys have given me over the years. hope all of you are out there living your best lives, exploring, learning, and finding joy in all the little things 😊 join my tag list (read the instructions pls) to get notified when I update my fics!

//

previous big update:

hello! i know i’ve been sort of mia but… it’s been an absolutely chaotic time for me. 

the (long) story goes a little something like this:

earlier this year during spring break, i had friends who convinced me to give america a shot and apply for jobs after grad. i really didn’t want to because the visa process is a pain and it costs a lot. also, not a lot of companies want to hire internationals so it’s very demoralizing to receive a million rejections… but my friends are very persuasive people lol. 

so it was super hectic during the last few months I had in the country as i tried to get through the visa process, study, work, beef up my resume, apply for jobs and graduate at the same time. (i understand that a ton of people have to do this too… but it’s hard y’all). anyway, one Medium article, one cold email, and a number of grueling interviews later, i found out i got a job!

now i just had to convince my parents… this was actually in all honesty, the most stressful part. i love them to death but my father really made it feel like i was choosing between my family and a job and ngl i cried myself to sleep on the regular. in the end, he finally gave me the okay to take the job but i know he’s still very upset. that’s honest to god the worst part. (my mum’s been super supportive tho so i guess that’s the silver lining in all of this!)

prior to getting the job though, I was really in limbo. I had returned to my home country because I and by extension, my parents, were not confident that i was going to be able to land a job in the US. I was very confused because I was neither here nor there. I was interviewing with the american company from my home country, trying my best to make sure they’d still be interested in me as a candidate no matter how many hurdles there were. then, to ensure that I had a safety net, I was also doing interviews locally and sending out resumes whenever I could. I was exhausted. and I know everyone goes through the job hunt so it’s equally as exhausting for everyone but yeah it was not a fun time.

anyway so now that I took that job in america i gotta move halfway across the world again, but this time without financial support and i don’t know… maybe this is the first time i’ll be truly independent and ya im seconds away from shittin myself. really gotta put on my big girl pants and try to not be broke yeet yeet.

but uhh that’s the low down on why i haven’t been able to write much at all…….. and yeah! working on it tho… haha always working on it.

to end all of this, I just want to say that I’m super lucky to have all of you. I basically got the job because of that article I wrote. I know I sound like a broken record talking about my article over and over but I dunno I guess all of this is just a little wild to me ahah.

I owe a lot of my confidence in my writing to all of you. I personally think my writing improved bc of this blog and the support you guys give me is… unreal (“: I know it may seem insignificant to some of you to reblog/like and comment on a fic but it really spurs me creatively and makes me feel sort of confident about my writing. all of that is probably why I didn’t think twice about hitting that post button on my article. although it’s a very different type of writing… I don’t know it’s just knowing that my writing is worth something… knowing that my writing is worth taking 5 minutes out of your day to read, is pretty cool and you guys kind of gave me that! (i am in no way saying that my writing is the best thing on earth. far from it. but i think you guys understand what i’m trying to say!)

so in some way, you guys helped me get a job! nice work team hahahah. also, also i just want to say, never give up. I decided I wanted to try my luck at the American job market maybe around the end of March and graduation was in early May. so I had about more or less a month to do something. I knew I needed a way to set myself apart from everyone else because my gpa wasn’t stellar and I hadn’t had any internships in America. not to mention the fact that I was an international student hence it was even harder to get hired. so basically, why would a company pick me over the next person? I thought perhaps knowing how to code was the way to give myself an edge so I learned some basic python and sql but then I realized there wasn’t really an impressive project I could attempt within that short time frame and I also knew far too little to do anything anyway. this meant that I was back at square one.

so, I switched gears instead. I sat down and really thought about what I could do. I concluded that at the very least, I could write. I knew I could write so I needed something that I could use along with my writing and I was like… it’s gotta be data! knowing that, I picked up the basics on how to use Tableau and I also picked up VBA macros in excel (if you don’t know what this is… I think you should Google it. it will literally blow your mind. excel can do a lot more than you can imagine). Then, I picked what I wanted to write my article on, got the data I needed from google trends, used vba macros to make the calculations faster, used tableau to make charts based on the data and photoshop to spice up the charts and etc. I did my research in the meantime as well and had a rough plan on what I was going to write about. after this, it was all systems go and it went a little like this:

wrote the article. attached my charts. linked the links. hit that post button. applied to all the jobs & companies that I thought would see value in what I did and can do. got rejected many times. felt discouraged. did more searching on companies that were willing to hire internationals. decided to send a cold email to a company. ACTUALLY HEARD BACK. went through multiple interviews. ACTUALLY GOT THE JOB.

so guys, never give up. recognize your strengths and build around that. if you think you don’t have any strengths, look harder. if you still feel you don’t have any, make the effort to learn something. it’s never too late for anything. I did all of that in one month and 10 days (the learning stuff and writing the article thing I mean). always be open to learning. I say this so much irl that my friends are sick of it but in this day and age with the internet, you can literally learn anything. so please, learn. learn for fun, learn for whatever reason. learn anything. you’ll never know when it’ll come in handy. like my basic Photoshop that I learned just so I could make a header for my blog… literally used that skill for the graphics in my article lol.

anyway, you can achieve a lot more than you think you can. you just gotta throw caution to the wind and do your own thing. be determined, be proactive. if things aren’t going the way you think it should be, do something to change that. you are all amazing and capable of great things! I hope you all know that. my mum always said if you never try, you’ll never know. don’t be afraid, don’t stop to think about what other people will think of you. keep doing you. people doubt you enough so don’t add to that. keep your head held high and keep moving forward.

once again I want to thank you guys for being sort of a support system for me! every comment, nice ask and sweet message has brought me this far. i really mean it (’: always be nice and supportive my sweet dumplings. your words truly have impact!