#not sure how i feel abt boycotting the whole thing/boycotting talking abt it but what im seeing makes me legit sick.

[catsconflictscopicsandchamomile]

hate to be an ass, but yall do understand that Disney only dropped Percy Jackson a few hours (no, not a day, its a few hours) early because they knew that this miniscule action on their part would make yall "conveniently forget" that they are SUPPORTING GENOCIDE

but have fun praising Lord Disney while you roll around in the crumbs they threw yall ig.

people are dying

[elvesofnoldor]

lmao ok its like almost 1am and i gotta sleep but um ok maybe i shouldnt say the bombings “isn’t entirely justified”, cause it isn’t justified. at all. have to say i didnt make that clear, my fault, but at the same time, lol it isnt the point of my posts. anyways, i dont know their trauma, and i make no attempts talking about their trauma. but ive seen documentaries. ghost of people casted on broken radiated stones cause they are pulverized at the centre of a nuclear explosion, horrific scars on survivors’ bodies, the trauma materializing in popular culture in the form of monster--trauma thats probably never gonna be healed. Japanese folks sure arent silent about their trauma and the horrific aftermath of the bombings, and the world listened. you all sure are passionated abt talking abt their trauma, for some reason. that post about gozilla got like 100k notes lmao. ive seen multiple posts about how unjustified the bombings are during my time here.  is it bc u all are into anime and watched grave of fireflies? lol? 

u know i know large size national traumas caused by war...are not comparable, i dont wanna talk abt what happened to nanking, or other places or regions during sino japanese war. its not comparable. but u all think i dont know and i dont care what happened to hiroshima and nagasaki? i know and i cared! for the longest time i didnt know how to feel abt it, any of it. but also im tired of seeing japanese folks using their own trauma to play the victim mentality, positioning themselves as victims of WWII when they 100% aren’t lol. I’m tired of nobody caring about that, since while they are playing victim mentality, Japanese war criminals are being honoured as heroes, the Japanese government still refuses to make a apology about the invasion they wouldn’t retract afterwards, and japanese imperalism is still alive in Japan! japanese history textbooks are imbedded with worrying messages, and dude! i didnt came up with these, people whos gone to Japan and studied Japanese history curriculum did! They are documentaries (in Chinese tho) about how Japanese history textbook refuses to call their invasion of China (and probably other asian countries like korea etc), an “invasion”. There are questions asking the kids if Japan would win against China when the country engage China in a 100 years from now. Not IF there would be an engagement. the premise of the question is that there will be another conflict! 

i said my great grandpa died in nanking massacre. he most likely did. (u know they spread news abt the massacre after it happened, in America. it probably just helped Americans to justify their ultimate engagement with imperial Japan’s military after pearl harbour happened) idk how long, probably two years ago, my mom told me about grandma. she told me that my great grandpa went to Nanking to run some errands, right after he went, grandma and her sisters lost contact with him and the city’s gate shuts down--the massacre begins. My grandpa was never heard of again. My mom said, “we couldn’t even find his body”. There are too many mass graves in nanking, no one could find anybody’s bodies, esp an insignificant person like my great grandpa who isnt a permanent residence of the city. i asked my mom, “so he got killed by the japanese?”. my mom said “well yeah, probably.” so no, im not sure abt it, but i dont have to have a great grandfather dying in the massacre to justify my anger abt the massacre and japan’s continuous denial of the massacre. It’s national pain, it’s national trauma too. However, for a while i actually like to think that he didnt died at the hands of japanese. I thought that, its entirely possible he just abandoned my grandma and his sisters and run away in the middle of chaos. even now, i thought that, maybe i misheard what my mom said. maybe my mom misheard from grandma. a while ago, folks in China were being foolish and boycotting Japanese products. Irrational and unproductive hate tbh, and boycotting Japanese brands only wreck Chinese economy cause none of these products being sold in China are produced in Japan lol. I didn’t wanna be one of these people giving to unproductive hate and irrational anger. but seems like, thats really above me. Anyways, theres a lot of speculations, but what i do know is that grandma had a hard life without the main financial support (my great grandpa) in her life. she lived in poverty all her life, travelled from shanghai all the way to beijing for work. never get the education she deserves, was a factory worker her whole life.  

i thought abt grandma a lot these days. my grandma died on 4th of july, 2006. its been 11 years today (or rather, yesterday, in my time zone). i realize i couldnt even remember much of her voice or face, and that makes me incredibly sad. i was gonna talk abt missing her and about the whole legacy of 2nd sino japanese war during WWII, at one point. But i guess its gonna be today at 1am lol--seems like an awkward time to do that since i just went the fuck off on tumblr dot com lmao. i wanted to go off abt this whole thing for at least a year now tho lmao. hope grandma wouldn’t mind i start thinking about all these after my mom revealed bits of info about her life. i miss her a lot and i wished i could have known her better, but there wasn’t enough time. 

this is a mass of disorganized rambling and i dont even know where to begin to tag triggers for this post.....idk maybe dont read idk