#not sure how to tag this KLHFDLKG

[mrs-nate-humphrey]

do you think serena’s waffling between dan and nate throughout S4 came from a place of genuine indecision? or was it more her way of (subconsciously) “testing” dan like she admits she sometimes does in 4x12? idk, because while i dont think she was stringing nate along consciously or willfully, it’s interesting how she seems to “choose” dan at every single opportunity - and very early on- which makes me wonder if deep down she kinda did know who she wanted, even if she was afraid to commit to it.

this is very interesting! i get the denial/unwillingness; dan & serena have broken up so many times by now & there's also the whole thing of rufus & lily being together, so it does make sense that if serena knew she wanted dan from the beginning she'd repress it. but honestly i did not get romantic vibes from them towards the end of s3 at all? dan is serena's comfort person, he's more of a safe space / safety net to her at this point in their arc than he is a dream boyfriend. he is her source of stability when everything else is sort of unstable, so it does make sense that she gravitates towards him (esp given everything happening in her life with william and whatnot.)

but i think the thing with serena & nate - which is why so many serenate fans feel that their story was unfinished, i'd guess- is that they both cared about each other sooooo much. their natural progression from childhood best friends to lovers, and how they managed to keep that platonic intimacy & closeness even when they were romantically involved (they're always laughing during sex and fooling around and they don't take each other too seriously, which i thought was v cute) - all of that was really sweet, and maybe if they'd had a second chance when they were both in a better place, it would've gone better for them.

i think dan is serena's default lifejacket SOS option - part of why she's more afraid, canonically, of losing dan to blair than she is of losing blair to dan (though some people interpret this the other way and ngl, i adore that).

that said, i think serena wanted to want nate? when you're childhood best friends, you kind of know from the very beginning what you're getting into with romance in most cases, because you know this person so well. i think serena KNEW, with all her heart, that nate was a great guy, very sweet, genuinely did love her and care about her and want to be there for her and want what's best for her. (the way he looks is probably just a bonus.) but knowing that someone is a good option & desiring someone are vastly different things and you can't really control who you're into.

i think serena's waffling came about from like - she'd left nate, and their breakup was more "taking a break from each other" than it was "you and i are done for good, sayonara" and while i personally never got the sense that serena was romantically in love w/ nate (platonically: yes, but romantically, idk, i just didn't see it) he IS her best friend after all, and she does care about him deeply. i think serena maybe (subconsciously) felt like she owed it to nate to pick up where they'd left off?

anyway. to go beyond your question, i love derena in a nostalgic way, i am genuinely so fond of dan & serena. but i think serena was sort of, uh, unintentionally using dan & nate as a way to avoid dealing with the stuff she NEEDED to deal with. she was looking for an answer, or a source of comfort, in them (which, understandable, william trauma is not a small trauma). so i actually feel like she didn't really want either of them? or at least, it wasn't stemming from a place of genuine want, it was coming from a place of "oh i'm hurting and i wonder which one of these boys will make me hurt less." and the answer to that, unfortunately for nate, is dan.