#not that bp needs like. a god kit when the current kit it has is already so good but i digress

[crescentfool]

thinking long and hard about the ballpoint nouveau kit has been making me go through every emotion humanly possible i want to know what it is so badly...

[shelby-love]

JAY HALSTEAD

“Nightmare that came true”

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warnings: angst

Authors note: /

“Well. Her test results came back negative,” You swipe through the tablet before handing it over to doctor Charles. “She’s all yours.”

A girl came in the ED today, she was bleeding and screaming things about witches and ghosts. You stopped her bleeding and patched her up. Now she’s completely physically healthy and you’re handing her to the chief of Psychiatry.

“Let’s give her some Ativan. Get her to calm down,” Dr. Charles instructs one of the nurses. The nurse hurriedly goes to the screaming patient and injects the medication. Once the girl is calmed down you nod and wish luck to the older man.

It’s a fairly peaceful day at the ED. You had a few patients, all of which went home with a smile on their face. This girl so far was the only one in a need for serious help. You patched her up, now the only problem she has is on Dr. Charles - someone qualified to help her.

“Doctor Y/LN!” You know that the patient that’s about to come in is seriously injured as soon as Maggie calls you by your last name. “Incoming!

You spot the two paramedics rushing in with a GSW patient and you run to join them. Behind them you see the members of the Intelligence unit rush in. When you see their worried paled faces and don’t spot Jay, your fiancé, your heart sinks and your biggest nightmare comes true.

Jay lies on the stretcher soaked in his own blood. The paramedics start to recite his contidion but you can barely listen to them. "Detective Jay Halstead, 27 year old male. Shot on the line of duty. Stats 100, BP 102 over 69, heart rate 110. A little hypotensive and tachycardic. Doctor?”

She pulls you out of your trance, you lead them into the trauma room. It won’t do Jay any good if I don’t focus. “We transfer him on my count. Gently! One, two, three!”

The moment the love of your life is on that hospital bed you swear with everything you have. I swear I’ll help you pull through this Jay. The nurses hang the IV and connect him to the monitors as you inspect his contidion through tears. “Doctor Y/LN,” One of the nurses, Doris, carefully calls out for you. “His stats are lowering. Are you okay?”

Your head snaps to the direction of the monitor, “Let’s get a 16 in each arm and bolus a liter of LR on the rapid transfuser, and 50 of fentanyl for pain.” You put the stethoscope on his chest and listen carefully. The bruises on his neck that appear to be from choking are making it difficult for him to breathe. “I need to intubate to protect his airway.”

Doris nods and reaches behind for the intubation kit and you place yourself at the head of the bed behind Jay’s head. You look at his face and almost break down, Doris places the kid and you grab the laryngoscope and insert it in his mouth, you grab the tube and slowly find the right spot, “Okay I’m in. Give me the bag,” The last step, you connect the bag and start bagging him manually with oxygen until you connect him to the ventilator. “He’s stable. BP is going up, heart beat is getting better.” Doris informs and you sigh in relief.

A 1st year residency student, Noah Sexton looks for the wounds in Jay’s leg. “How’s his leg looking Noah?”

“A likely entrance hole in the upper right thigh. Big hematoma. No apparent fracture.”

“All right, Noah, pop quiz. Let’s see how much you recall. After we figure out where the bullet went in, - what do we do?” You ask, trying to keep your voice stable when you know that you’re seconds away from breaking down completely.

“Count the holes doc. If there’s an even number, it came out.” He answers.

“Okay, good job. We need a an x-ray, ultrasound, CT, and MRI. An endoscopy and blood work just to be safe.” You pull his shirt up to see a big bruise on his abs. His vest saved him from a fatal injury. You move towards Noah, where the bleeding was put in control.

“I think I see an exit hole,” Noah says, “It’s tiny… Too tiny,”

“It’s probably a shrapnel. The bullets still in there. We need to get him to radiology and see where it is. Now.” You say, examinating upper par of the leg.

You get Jay to radiology immediately and request that the results come urgently fast. With every second passing by Jay has a tougher challenge in front of him. You want that bullet out and then you want him transfered to the ICU. Where you could really watch over him.

Currently, you’re waiting for the MRI results. You’re resting your elbows on the receptions desk, your back facing the trauma room Jay is currently in. You cup your head in your hands and tug your hair, tears are running down your cheeks and you don’t registrate anything or anyone around you. When someone taps you on the shoulder tense and frantically wipe your tears away, you rise your head and look at Maggie. Her eyes take in the sight of you, “The MRI results are done.” she hands you the tablet and you look at the scans.

***

You stand behind the window of the OR. You’re biting your nails as you watch Connor operate on your fiancé. With tears in your eyes you watch the big TV and look at what he’s doing.

The bullet traveled all the way to his abdomen.

***

“Hey,” Connor meets you outside the OR. “You did amazing today.”

“You mean I didn’t break down while I tried to stabilize him and give a diagnosis?” You saw the way everyone looked at you. They didn’t think you’d be able to think straight. They thought you’re going to be way too emotionally involved to think straight. That’s why you weren’t allow to do the surgery or even assist. Jay is now resting and you’re waiting for him to wake up.

“He’s lucky to have you Y/N,” Connor squeezes your shoulder and you give him a smile before he leaves the room. Will had to return to his patient and the rest of the Intelligence was getting food in the cafeteria. You took the rest of the day off so you can wait for Jay to wake up. To be with him when he wakes up.

You watch and admire him. You don’t want to go and eat, Burgess brought you a coffee - you couldn’t drink it. Not until Jay woke up and proved that he’s alright.

Just as Voights about to drag you out to eat something you see Jay stirr. You fall into the chair and grab Jay’s hand and watch his eyes open. Tears of happiness rush down your cheeks as you kiss his hand and squeeze it.

“What happened? Where am I?” He tries to pull himself to sit but your stop him immediately.

“No don’t move,” You say. “You were shot Jay.”

He hated seeing you cry. Especially when he was the reason behind your tears. He knew your biggest fear was him coming into the ED like he did today.

“Y/N I’m sorry… I’m an idiot.”

“It’s okay Jay. You’re okay and that’s all that matters now,” You smile and wipe your tears away before kissing his knuckles once more. You press your lips to his forehead, silently thanking God for taking care of him.

“Don’t ever come to the ED like that again, okay? I’d rather have you in the ED because you need to arrest me.” You try to sound stern but when he gives you his boyish smile that you love so much you crack and smile brightly. “I love you.”

“What would I do without you Y/N Y/LN?” He traces your ring finger where your engagement ring rests.