#not to mention what she's done with the rerecordings so she can own her own music

[sureuncertainty]

everyone hating on taylor swift constantly on this site makes me think about that post about how everyone had a twilight phase, either you were obsessed with twilight or you hated it but either way you had a phase where you devoted time and energy to twilight.

her being named time person of the year in 2023 is so accurate bc either you love her or you hate her but either way you devote a lot of energy to her. the way some of y'all on here feel the desperate need to prove how much you despise her shows how influential she really is lmao

[iwanthermidnightz]

When she was 18, Taylor Swift wrote a song called “Fifteen.” “Back then I swore I was going to marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine,” she sang, sounding more like a wizened great-grandmother than a rising senior.

“Fifteen” is evocative, if a little sanitized: Nimble mandolin strums mimic the nervous-excited butterflies of the first day of high school, as Swift sings of wide-eyed hope that “one of those senior boys will wink at you and say, ‘You know I haven’t seen you around before.’”

There was a certain emotional truth to the lyrics — do several years’ age difference ever seem more consequential than when you’re a teenager? — but some older listeners were skeptical. “You applaud her skill,” wrote a critic for the Guardian in a mixed review of Swift’s second album, “Fearless,” “while feeling slightly unsettled by the thought of a teenager pontificating away like Yoda.”

Swift, now 31, sings, “When you are young they assume you know nothing,” on “Folklore,” an LP that is both compositionally mature and braided throughout with references to the specific, oft-denigrated wisdom of teenagers. By the end of that song, “Cardigan,” the narrator has excavated such a heap of florid but emotionally lucid memories that she must conclude, with the force of a sudden revelation, “I knew everything when I was young.”

Though it’s not as flashy a topic as exes, fame or A-list celebrity feuds, age has long been a recurring theme in Swift’s work. A numerology enthusiast with a particular attachment to 13, Swift has also released a handful of songs whose titles refer to specific ages: “Seven,” “Fifteen,” and, of course, “22,” the chatty “Red” hit on which she summed up that particular junction of emerging adulthood as feeling “happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time.” Like her contemporary Adele, Swift seems to enjoy time-stamping her music, sometimes presenting it like a public-facing scrapbook that will always remind her what it felt like to be a certain age — even if, with their millions of fans and armfuls of Grammys, neither of these women is exactly typical.

Swift’s critics have often seemed even more hyper attuned to her age. Perhaps because precocity played such a role in her story from the beginning — at 14, she became the youngest artist to sign a publishing deal with Sony/ATV; at 20, she became the youngest to win the album of the year Grammy — many listeners have been fascinated with how her evolution into adulthood has, or hasn’t, played out in her songs. People comb Swift’s lyrics for allusions to sex, alcohol and profanity as meticulously as MPAA representatives do a borderline-PG movie. Particular attention was paid to her 2017 album “Reputation” and its several mentions of drunkenness and dive bars — even though Swift was 27 when it came out.

The relative puritanism of Swift’s music up until “Reputation” did feel like an intentional decision: Unlike the female pop stars who broadcast their “loss of innocence” as a sudden and irrevocable transformation, Swift seemed acutely conscious that she did not want to repel younger listeners — or lose the approval of their parents. At best, it felt like an acceptance of her status as a role model; at worst, it had the whiff of a marketing strategy.

But the mounting obsession with whether Swift was “acting her age” also reflected a larger societal double standard. Famous or not, women face much more intense scrutiny around age, whether it’s those constant cultural reminders of the biological clock’s supposed ticking or the imperative that women of all ages stay “fresh-faced” or risk their own obsolescence. (“People say I’m controversial,” Madonna said in 2016. “But I think the most controversial thing I have ever done is to stick around.”) And while girlish youth and ingenuity are rewarded in some contexts, they’re also easily dismissed as silly and frivolous as soon as that girl strays too close to the sun — as Swift has experienced time and again.

Despite having once been a teenage girl myself (unlike a lot of music critics), I confess that I am not completely free of these internalized biases. I was initially dismissive of “Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince,” a song that appeared on Swift’s 2019 album “Lover.” The first few times I heard it, I wondered what a grown woman on the cusp of 30 was doing still writing about homecoming queens and teenage gossip.

But over time, I’ve come to appreciate the song and its dark vision, which acknowledges cruelty, depression and the threat of sexual violence (“Boys will be boys then, where are the wise men?”) more directly than any of the songs Swift wrote when she was an actual teenager. The senior boys in this song are not the sort who wink and say to freshman girls wholesome things like, “Haven’t seen you around before” — which, unfortunately, makes them feel more authentic. Even the title “Miss Americana” alludes to a larger world outside the high school walls, and the greater systemic forces that keep such patterns repeating well into adulthood.

“Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince” now feels like a precursor to some of the richest songs on “Folklore,” which finds Swift returning once again to her school days with the keen, selectively observant eye of an adult. Consider “Seven,” an impressionistic recreation of her perspective at that age. The second verse, charmingly, plays like a first-grader’s breathless sequence of unguarded observations:

“And I’ve been meaning to tell you, I think your house is haunted, your dad is always mad and that must be why/And I think you should come live with me and we can be pirates, then you won’t have to cry.”

But “Seven” is not cutesy so much as poignant, because of the tensions that result when Swift’s adult perspective interjects. “Please, picture me in the trees, before I learned civility,” she sings in a yearning soprano, prompting the listener to wonder what sorts of feral pleasure she — and all of us — have exchanged for the supposed “civility” of adulthood.

Quite a few songs on “Evermore,” Swift’s second release of 2020, also toggle between past and present, conscious of what is lost and gained by the passage of time. The playful “Long Story Short” passes a note to Swift’s younger self (“Past me, I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things”), while “Dorothea,” like “Seven,” revisits a fevered childhood friendship from the cool perspective of adulthood.

Most striking is the bonus track “Right Where You Left Me,” a twangy tale of a “girl who got frozen” (“Time went on for everybody else, she won’t know it/She’s still 23, inside her fantasy”). That language echoes something Swift admits in the 2020 Netflix documentary “Miss Americana”: “There’s this thing people say about celebrities, that they’re frozen at the age they got famous. And that’s kind of what happened to me. I had a lot of growing up to do just trying to catch up to 29.”

But Swift’s recent songs, at their best, understand that “growing up” isn’t always a linear progression in the direction of something more valuable. Take the “Folklore” songs “Cardigan” and “Betty,” which use an interconnected set of characters to chronicle teenage drama and celebrate the heightened emotional knowledge of youth. “I’m only 17, I don’t know anything, but I know I miss you,” Swift sings in the voice of James, a high schooler who broke Betty’s heart and has shown up on her doorstep to ask forgiveness. Maybe that is a melodramatic thing to do; maybe it is the sort of thing adults could stand to do more often. Swift’s music helps us to remember that growing up doesn’t automatically mean growing wiser — it can just as easily mean compromise, self-denial and growing numb to emotions we once felt with bracing intensity.

In a gesture to regain control of her songs, Swift is currently rerecording her first six albums (her master recordings were recently sold by Scooter Braun’s Ithaca Holdings to the investment firm Shamrock Capital). Last month she released a note-for-note update of her early hit “Love Story,” and has promised to release an entire new-old version of “Fearless (Taylor’s Version)” later this year. It has been amusing to think of Swift going back and inhabiting the voice of her teenage self: On the face of it, “Fifteen” is particularly surreal to imagine her singing as an adult.

In another way, though, “Fifteen” — with its distant reflections on the youthful folly of expectations — makes more sense and carries more emotional weight being sung by a 30-something than it does an 18-year-old. Perhaps Swift was preparing for such an exercise when she made “Folklore,” an album that shakes off years of scrutiny and finds her reveling in the creative freedom to be as young or as old as she wants to be.

[writing-of-a-british-bitch]

We are the champions

Fandom: Queen/ Bohemian Rhapsody Specified gender: Female

Pairing: Roger Taylor X reader

TW: language, kinda angsty??? like tiny??

Genre: Fluff with a sliver of angst

Word Count: 2.4K

A/N: Italics indicate a flashback xxx

Request: something about the reader being a musician and Roger never paid much attention to it until the day he sees her singing / playing some instrument, and he gets extremely impressed.

Requests: OPEN

The sunlight broke through the curtains, digging into your eyelids as you stirred. You groaned quietly at the unpleasant wake-up call, stretching your arms. Your hand his a firm chest and you turned your head, glancing over at your boyfriend. He would be leaving soon, as would you, for his next tour, meaning you'd be on completely opposite sides of the world. His band, Queen, were heading for Asia in three days, and you were leaving for America a day later. Letting out a quiet sigh, you wormed your way out of Roger's arms, throwing one of his shirts on, before making your way to the kitchen. You leaned against the counter, waiting for the coffee to brew, and a pair of arms wrapped around your waist, placing a kiss on your shoulder.

"Morning, baby," Roger mumbled sleepily, resting his chin on your shoulder. You allowed yourself to relax into his touch, leaning back slightly.

"Morning, drummer boy." You replied with a smile, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Come back to bed, babe, it's too early." He whined quietly, his grip tightening.

"No, Mr. Taylor, because you have to be at the studio in an hour and I have to go to an interview." You replied, stepping forward to prepare the coffee.

"Do we have to? Your interview isn't even that important and the boys can live without me for a day. We can stay in bed and cuddle." Roger insisted, pushing his face into your neck.

"Roger, you're the drummer, you can't stay at home. And I've been pushing this interview back for weeks, the press is starting to get pissed."You giggled as his breath tickled your neck

"Fine." He huffed, letting go of you, dragging his feet as he walked to the bedroom.

"How about I visit you at the studio when the interview is finished? Then we can get dinner afterwards?" You offered, seeing how your boyfriend was pouting. His face instantly lit up at your suggestion, nodding eagerly.

"Sounds good, baby!" He chirped, rushing over and pecking your lips

"Now, go jump in the shower and get dressed. God knows how long it takes to tame that hair." You beamed, pushing his chest. He chuckled before wandering into the bathroom. You rolled your eyes, a soft smile gracing your lips as you took a sip of coffee. What a man.

The interview had been awful. Not a single question was about your latest album, which was frustrating beyond words. All the questions intruded on your personal life or your relationship with Queen or Roger. So, when you entered the studio, a grin rose to your face. Roger, Brian and Freddie were in the recording booth and Deacy was lounging on the couch, practicing a riff on his bass guitar. Paul was stood, watching Freddie in the booth. You rolled your eyes before wandering over to Deacy

"Hey, Deacy. That's a cool riff you got going on there." You commented and he jumped before smiling, realizing who it was.

"Hi (Y/N). Thanks. I've been trying to suggest it to Rog and Bri for a few days but they're refusing to even read the lyrics, let alone listen to the riff." He sighed. You sat beside him quietly as he repeated the riff.

"What are the lyrics? I can give you a little preview"You questioned and Deacy passed you a piece of paper.

"Another One Bites The Dust." You mumbled under your breath, your eyes scanning over the lyrics.

"Yeah, I just thought that it was something a little different. It might not work, I don't know." He shrugged.

"Play that riff. I'll try singing along." You commanded gently. He nodded before letting his fingers get to work, playing the tune. After a second of the intro, you joined in.

"Steve walks warily down the street, with the brim pulled way down low, ain't no sound but the sound of his feet, machine guns ready to go. Are you ready? Hey, are you ready for this? Are you hanging on the edge of your seat? Out of the doorway, the bullets rip, to the sound of the beat." You sang quietly before stopping. Deacy was grinning widely at you, while Paul was glaring at you over his shoulder.

"Can you keep that racket down? I'm trying to listen to the actual singers." Paul hissed and you raised your middle finger.

"Fuck off, Prenter." You shot back before turning your head to Deacy.

"That sounded great, (Y/N)!" he exclaimed, happily.

"Thanks, love. You really need to tell the guys about that. It'll be a hit, I promise." You stated, placing a hand on his arm.

"I hope so, anyway, how was your interview?" He asked

"God, it was terrible. There wasn't a word about my album, it was all about rumours or about my friendship with you guys and my relationship with Roger. Some fucker even asked me if I was pregnant because I'm 'putting on weight'." You huffed, dramatically throwing yourself back onto the couch.

"They're not wrong," Paul muttered as he placed a cigarette between his teeth.

"Not wrong about what?" Roger asked as he stepped back into the room.

"Why don't you explain, Prenter?" Deacy stated with a raised eyebrow.

"It's not my place." He answered.

"If it's not your place to explain, then it's not your place to comment, dickwad." You snapped before standing up and wrapping your arms around your boyfriend.

"You better explain at dinner," Roger whispered in your ear. Suddenly, Roger lifted you up, causing you to yelp loudly before he walked to the couch, sitting down so you were straddling him. You wrapped your arms around his neck, burying your face into his shoulder as he pulled you closer by the waist. There was a chuckle from Brian.

"What's funny?" Roger questioned.

"You two. You didn't even know she existed this time two years ago." Bri laughed. You glanced up at Roger.

You huffed, rolling your eyes as the band you were working with for backing track demanded a rerecord. They weren't even in their band. They were just there to help, but they were so rude and demanding, not even to mention argumentative. So you just went with the flow. You were running over your scheduled time and you knew there was a band waiting, but there wasn't an insane amount you could do. So, you did the rerecord but then...

"For fuck's sake! You're not doing it right!" The guitarist yelled and your head snapped to him.

"Me? This is my song. I think I would know when I was doing my own song wrong." You replied calmly

"Figures! Guess this is what happens when women get in over their heads." He muttered. Your eyebrows furrowed at that, eyes narrowing.

"Excuse me?" You asked sharply.

"Excuse me, darling? Are these men bothering you?" An unrecognizable voice broke through through the room. You looked over to the window and saw, who you guessed was, someone in the band that was waiting.

"Everything's alright, mate." The guitarist snapped through the microphone.

"I wasn't asking you. Are you alright, dear?" The stranger asked again and you sighed.

"Not really." You answered.

"Right. You two wankers, get out. She's done with you." He said and without another second, the bassist and guitarist were out, mumbling harsh words to you. You rose from your seat at the piano, taking your headphones off. The stranger quickly waltzed in.

"My name's Freddie. What's yours, love?" He questioned.

"(Y/N). Thank you for that Freddie. I'll get out of your hair." You responded with a grateful smile.

"Did you finish the song you were recording?" Freddie pressed.

"No, those idiots wouldn't let me get thirty seconds into the song without stopping me. I'll call in and hire another group, come back another day." You stated, running a hand through your hair.

"Why waste your talent on some amateurs? Let us help." He suggested.

"I can't ask you to do that, Freddie. I've already taken up enough of your time." You said, eyes slightly wide.

"Nonsense, darling. Please, allow us to help." He insisted. You bit your lip in thought before giving in.

"Fine but I'm crediting you when it's released if you tell me your band's name." You countered.

"It's her majesty, Queen, my dear." Freddie declared, moving his arm dramatically and bowing. You laughed. You could tell you had made a new friend already.

"I didn't realize I was in a studio with royalty." You joked and Freddie chuckled.

"You need a bassist, drummer and a guitarist, right?" He asked and you nodded silently.

"Brian, Deacy, Roger, get your arses in here!" Freddie suddenly called through the open door. Three men rushed in, one had insanely curly hair, the other had a bass guitar on a strap, slung across his body. And finally, a blonde, blue-eyed beauty.

"What is it, Fred?" The curly haired one asked, both eyebrows raised.

"This is (Y/N), darlings. You'll be helping her with her new song, seeing as the band that was helping her were assholes." Freddie said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

"Nice to meet you, (Y/N), I'm Brian." Brian smiled, extending his arm. You shook his hand politely,

"I'm John. You can call me Deacy if you want." The bassist commented, shaking your still outstretched hand.

"Why do I have to help?" The blonde one whined.

"Because I want to help my new friend here." Freddie quickly replied.

"She can play her own bloody drums." He grumbled before walking back to the sound room, slumping onto the couch next to some long-legged brunette,

"That's Roger. Sorry about him. He's a bit of a dick sometimes." Brian explained and you nodded with an awkward smile.

"It's alright. I can play drums, I'll just record that section another day." You mumbled

"If you're alright with that. I can always bribe Roger by paying for his drinks next time we go to a bar." John joked.

"It's fine, don't worry. Thank you, guys. I really appreciate it." You smiled.

"Don't mention it." Brian smiled. Freddie patted your back gently before wandering out.

"So, if I play the tune on my piano, do you think you can try to go along with it from there?" You offered and the boys made noises of agreement. They both adjusted their instruments, ready to join in when they found the rhythm. You sat down in front of the piano, taking a breath before you began playing, pressing the keys gently as words began to flow from your mouth. Freddie watched in awe. You had one of the most amazing voices he'd ever heard. You were so talented. He knew you'd get along with Roger perfectly. But Roger was too transfixed on his fling.

Your friendship with the boys had only flourished from then on. Well, with most of the boys. Roger was still distant, acting like he never heard you speaking and staring through you like you weren't there. It hurt at first, but after a while, you learnt to ignore it, too caught up in your friendship with his other bandmates. It wasn't until one night when Freddie had dragged you all along to a karaoke bar, he finally noticed you.

Roger had wandered off after having one drink with you and his bandmates, looking for a new fuck. Deacy was talking to you about his wife, Veronica, and how he couldn't wait for her to meet you, but Brian soon pulled you from that conversation, bored out of his mind. He started chatting away about astronomy and physics, something you'd both studied in university. Loud bars weren't really his scene, despite the fact that he was one of the biggest rock stars of their time period. Freddie suddenly grabbed your arm, pulling you up and onto the stage, that was set up with various instruments and several microphones, with him. He took a seat by the piano and you hesitantly sat behind the drums.

Freddie began playing a tune that was a little too familiar for you not to know it. You picked up a pair of drumstick from the floor and span one between your fingers, waiting for your cue to come in.

"I've paid my dues, time after time, I've done my sentence but committed no crime." Freddie sang into a microphone that was positioned above the piano.

"And bad mistakes, I've made a few, I've had my share of sand kicked in my face but I've come through!" You continued, making sure you were hitting the right sections of the drum as the beat kicked up.

"We are the champions, my friends. And we'll keep on fighting till the end! We are the champions, we are the champion! No time for losers, cause we are the champions... of the world!"Your voices melted together beautifully, and you lost yourself in the music, knowing you wouldn't be able to play anything wrong on the drums even if you wanted to.

Roger had a girl on his arm, but his eyes were locked onto you, watching intently as you sang with Freddie, managing to keep the beat. He'd never paid you much mind, not expecting you stay around as long as you had. But seeing you up there, a small sweat building up as you sat behind the drum set. You looked...gorgeous. He didn't realize the set was over until the girl he'd had original intention of shagging was tugging his arm, trying to pull him to the bathroom. He quickly yanked his arm out of her grip, ignoring as she yelled profanities at him. You were sat back with the group, breathing slightly uneven as you leant on Freddie, a large smile on both of your faces.

"Where'd your pet go?" Brian joked as soon as he saw the drummer.

"Doesn't matter," Roger mumbled, taking a seat next to you.

"You still pretending I don't exist?" You asked sarcastically and Roger looked over at you, his eyes darting from your eyes to your lips, something that didn't go unnoticed by you or Brian.

"No." He murmured.

"If you want to kiss her, just do it." Brian teased, not expecting for Roger to grab your face and pull your lips to his. Your eyes widened in panic for a second before you relaxed into him, kissing back slowly. You faintly heard cheers from the boys around you. You pulled back, a small smile on your face.

"Well hello to you too." You laughed quietly.

"(Y/N), you still with us?" Roger asked, waving a hand in front of your face.

"Yeah, sorry." You giggled, leaning back into Roger.'

"We're nearly done, love. Do you wanna grab your stuff from the cloakroom? We'll be ready to go then. The boys will finish up without me." Roger smiled, cupping your cheek gently.

"Okay, love you." You smiled, pecking his lips before climbing off him and heading towards the door.

"Could you grab my coat too, love?" He called and got a loud response of 'yes' back

"Are you really going to ask her tonight?" Deacy enquired, adjusting the strap for his bass.

"Yeah. It's definitely gonna be tonight." Roger answered firmly, sounding like he was trying to convince himself more than reply to Deacy.

"Best of luck, darling. You belong together."Freddie declared, cutting off Paul mid-sentence.

"I hope she says yes," Brian added. Roger stood up.

"Me too. I really love her." Roger confessed.

"Roger!" You yelled from the door to the studio.

"Coming, love!" Roger called back. He brought out the ring, running his finger over the gem, allowing the boys one last look before it hopefully ended up on your finger.

Tags: @writingfortoomanyfandoms @queens-n-roses@yourealegendfred @fierce-bab @dusthas-beenbitten@silvver-rose @benhardyjones @bensroger

[howsareeasy]

it isn’t failure; it’s data

Equipment: mac pro 2014 with inbuilt mic. Moto G3 (and then Moto G6) for reading via the Adobe Acrobat PDF reader. For hosting purposes, Dropbox and Mediafire. Software: both GarageBand and Audacity.

There’s 1600 words under the cut. Or you can read here over at Dreamwidth if it’s easier

Chose: GaragageBand or Audacity:  For the sheer scope of the information gathered alone, Audacity. I held out on using Audacity until I got my head around GarageBand, because GB was Apple. I did five of my first podfics in GarageBand (and the last six in Audacity). I'm glad that I did GarageBand before I got into Audacity, because Audacity didn't feel that difficult when I got my head around it, because I already had my wars with GarageBand. Although I do like GarageBand for the ease of rerecording (you literally just record over the offending area), and insertion of silences, it has a lot of drawbacks. For instance,  when it comes to longer files (about 180mins) it will start to eat your files. In addition, because not many people use GarageBand, information on troubleshooting is pretty rare, and Apple insists on upgrading and changing the interface ever so often. As a result, a lot of people I know are working from their legacy interface from 2014. It doesn't help me with what I have now. I only know one person (other than myself) who worked in GarageBand, and got tired of bugging her (she's busy and took ages to respond to my questions, because she's BUSY). whereas with Audacity, there are enough people to have a wiki. There are guides everywhere in terms of how to use Audacity, especially podfic specific guides. Overall, Audacity is a bit more straightforward, once you know what to look for. The wiki is relatively comprehensive and easy to follow. For instance, once I got my head around recording edits and putting them in the spaces where they needed to be, the process of recording patches then patching them for reedits is fairly straight forward. Audacity has the advantage of doing more pin point edits when it comes to mouth noises, and general cleaning up of fic background noises with noise plates. Audacity's envelope application is a lot better and smoother than GarageBand's fades (in terms of say, if you want to have music fading in or out of your narrative). Now, I don't think I'm going to be the sort of person to use music in a podfic unless the writer is pretty much waving semaphore flags and going - this piece of music here!- but it's a neat effect. Hardest thing about podficcing: For me, it was getting the reading down pat, to be honest. When I listen to my first five podfics, I'm surprised at how fast I'm reading, so every reading it's been me telling myself to slow down. It's one of the reasons why I started to edit as I go, because it forced me to refocus, and check my speed when rabbiting along. Then because my reading got slower, I could engage in the process of the fic more. However, as I grew more confident with the reading flow, I'd allow myself to read through a chapter or so, and then go back and edit. I didn't really get the concept of what a read/performance was until podfic 7, I guess (AO3 is down now, so I can't remember what it is. I want to say Cloud City). The whole concept of pauses in podfic and how that's a part of hitting the ear didn't really strike me until about podfic 10 (Stay In My Eyeline to the point where I took it down and recut for silences). But I think podfic 9 (Good Timing), made me happy enough with my narrative and voice bits. As much as podfic 11 KICKED MY ARSE, I'm more or less happy with the pauses and spaces in the fic. I mean, I could have done more, let the quiet spill out, especially towards the ending, but you can only learn by doing. I'm not going to beat up myself with the first podfics, tbh, because no one is born a master. Now, that last podfic. I don't think I had any hubris with the first ten podfics. I tried to improve on every one as I went on, and I think they got better quality wise when I jumped over to Audacity, because again, because of noise plates and edits made for a cleaner product (I could get rid of the 'clunk' sound when I'd stop the recording), but that last podfic (Now That I'm In Madrid) almost made me rage quit many a time. Between the file deletions, Audacity freezing, my files crashing, having to borrow someone else's PC to get my three hour files on as well as the edits, the installation of my mpegg plug in refusing to deal on my macbook (until I had to manually install it, after overriding Apple’s admin permissions to accept the plug in), only to export the chapters and not being able to bundle them into a book. Plus my voice turning to gravelly mush in the last third of the reading, it's been a hard knock on my confidence, to be honest. To the point where, I'm like, "Yeah, I liked podficcing, I guess? But erm... I don't think it likes me much." That being said, I really like the last story, and I'm sorry that I didn't do my best by it, but it was beyond my ken. To the point where, if I had to redo the podfic (lol, no), I couldn't do it any better right now, and that's fine. Reading source: A lot of people read their fic on screen while the recording is going on in the background. I tend to read directly from my smartphone, using the Adobe PDF app. I do like the app because you can highlight bits, and insert comments on the document, it's also smooth scrolling experience reading wise. My Moto G6 has more power and a better screen so it's an easier read. File hosting: Dropbox and MediaFire are relatively straightforward. They are fine. Most annoying bit of podficcing: Podfic covers. As much as I know that they didn't have to be made, I pretty much did it, because people do expect them (before Itsadrizzit started the push to overturn the practice). I wouldn't do anything beyond a text box now, but podfic covers came at the worst time for me. After recording, edits, and listen throughs and before uploading for hosting. I forever whinged around that. Most surprising bit of podficcing: The edits, I guess? I didn't mind them at all. I can do edits while being sociable, whereas for preprepping and doing the reading itself, I had to lock myself away and put my phone on 'do not disturb' mode. Would I podfic again? I don't have the resources, nor will I be in a position to get a new laptop for the while so, no, I don't know. More no than yes. It depends? As it is, I can't risk anything more than a 60 min run time (no more than 9.5k word count) and even then, I do wonder if I should review that to 30 mins (about 3-4k word count) because I can't trust my equipment. It makes no sense to set your stall up for anything less than a 2k word count. It's too much hassle for me to find an empty space and record for anything under 1.8k at least.  Not to mention the edits, listen through (ugh) and hosting. I can't do anything chaptered in terms of podbooks (because I don't know how to bundle the chapters to export without having ppl downloading 24 separate files and I don't have the bandwidth to deal with that right now. I'd just do a basic .m4b file, although I hear that people aren't fans and NEED. CHAPTERED .m4b podfic, but these madams will have to deal). My computer cannot be trusted to splice various files together (for instance, if I wanted to do a fic with a run time of 180mins, I'd have to do three 60min files, then splice them together. My computer crashed twice doing that feat, so no). This is tragic, because it's knee capped what I wanted to do. Liiiiike that 25k fic to pod in my bookmarks is now deleted (170 mins run time, three files of 57 mins give or take). Overall, yay or nay?  Yay! I'd like to think that I have shown respect for podficcers before, but after doing it for three weeks (11 podfics in three weeks, but I spent two weeks before doing the research) my respect is tenfold. It's not just reading what's on the page, but reacting to it with a mixture of control with the air of surprise. There's an art to it, as well as the technical bits, be it just having a fluid and enjoyable listening experience. Hell, just reading aloud alone is its own feat of stamina. There's the weighing up of file hostings, and this on top of the lack of Blanket Permissions, so if you find a fic that you want to do but there's no BP, you're out of luck, and there are far too many writers who are really arsey toward the whole medium. Conclusion: So, yeah, my experiment ends here! It wasn't a total failure, but it hasn't been an activity brimming with triumphant successes either. Thanks for the weigh ins and the advice from the podficcers who've been doing this for a minute. If you're a writer and are reading this, please think about including a BP in your profiles, even if it's a yes, maybe so (please ask) or hell no (so you won't be bothered).

[angelofdirewolves]

Underneath the Stars Playlist

This is a playlist of songs that I listened to when writing this story, or that have special meaning in regards to the characters. Apologies for length despite that it’s only songs long, because I got very meta-y in compiling this and quoting the songs and explaining why they fit. Spoilers for the entire fic are present in the meta paragraphs, and links to each song are embedded in the name.

Songs Mentioned in Fic:

Light on the Horizon by determamfidd “There’s a light on the horizon, there’s a ship upon the sea, now the world is so much wider, for you wander it with me.” This song is one of many that was written, composed, and performed by the author of the absolutely stunning LoTR fanfic Sansúkh. Sansúkh is a story about family and healing and what it means to forgive yourself and to forgive others, even if it is too late, thus making it extremely fitting for the end of this story, because all of them need to learn to forgive each other, to heal the breaches that time has wrought, and nothing exemplifies that better than this fic, and no song promises that better future than Light on the Horizon.

The Star Cycle: A series of three songs that are all based on the stars, not an official term, just one coined by me for the fic, because Aoife would have little playlists of three or four songs and call them pretentious names, mostly created when she was a child with Amanda.

Underneath the Stars by Kate Rusby. “Underneath the stars you met me, underneath the stars you left me … they come and go of their own free will, go gently.” Jenny’s favorite song of the Star Cycle, and the titular song of the fic. While Jenny adored this song long before the events of this fic, it becomes especially poignant once Aoife abandons her to go complete the Kolavar. The song speaks of being abandoned by one who loves you for your own good, and about someone who has no friends but the stars. It rings painfully true both before and after the events of this story.

All the Stars by the Wailin Jennys “All the Stars in the sky say goodbye say goodbye, we were here yesterday now it seems so far away … oh you don’t know me, you know one side of the story.” Keith’s favorite song of the Star Cycle. Again, this becomes very poignant when Keith is on earth, because no one can truly know him there, and he has no one but Shiro, and even he leaves to go to Kerberos eventually. Even into canon, no one really knows him because he keeps shut about his relationship to Zarkon, and to Aoife and Jenny because he’s always been trained to keep quiet about that, even with people who he’s supposed to trust, and trusting is still a difficult concept for him.

Starlight by the Wailin Jennys “I have come back to you broken, take me home … kingdom come their will was done, and now the earth is far away from any kind of heaven, take us home.” Aoife’s favorite song of the Star Cycle and the song Jenny was singing when Shiro found her. Aoife has always internalized her relationship with Zarkon and Lotor and Haggar more than Keith has, and Jenny is the only other one that comes close. She was raised in part by them, and if not for the interference of her mother, she would have thought that the way they were raising her, to be the unbreakable face of the empire was the way things always were, the only way things could be. The only thing that she doesn’t like about this song is a line about the singer being in need of mercy, because she doesn’t feel that she deserves mercy for anything she has done.

Ave Maria by Kevin Memley “Ave Maria, gratia plena (translated) Hail Mary Full of Grace.” This song is rerecorded by Aoife to be Ave Amanda, because she reveres her mother in a way that elevates her almost to sainthood. Also rings true because due to science, Amanda does not have children in the normal way- Aoife enjoys those particular coincidences. Jana’s name also means Grace, and Amanda was the one that named her, so there’s also that connection.

Aoife’s Songs:

Uneven Odds by Sleeping at Last “I once knew your father well. … As your guardian I was instructed well, to make sense of their love in these fires of hell.” Aoife’s song for Keith and Jenny, because she was the one that raised them all on her own from the time that she was fifteen, still half a child herself. She loves Keith and Jenny with everything that she has, but sometimes that isn’t enough, because she knows that Keith deserves Amanda, and she knows that sometimes she can’t even look at Jenny without thinking about the trauma Aoife suffered at the hands of Jenny’s unknown father. So she sees herself both as the guardian and as the fires of hell for them both.

Sun by Sleeping at Last “We are the dust of dust, the apple of God’s eye. … We are infinite as the universe you hold inside. … let there be light let me be right.” Aoife was Zarkon’s beloved granddaughter, and he was the closest thing to a god that exists for the majority of the universe. She was also Haggar’s niece and protégé. Aoife is the most powerful manipulator of the fabric of universe ever recorded by the druids and ‘taught’ by the next most powerful quintessence user. She’s constantly hoping that she is the one that is right, the one that will prevail against these two night divine beings.

Third Eye by Florence and the Machine “That original lifeline. … There’s a whole where your heart lies and I can see it with my third eye, and my touch it magnifies… I’m the same, I’m the same, I’m trying to change.” In the battle that kills Zarkon, Aoife loses Thace, who she’s been bonded with at the brain since they were children, as seen in the interludes, the person that kept her alive by his mental support after the death of her mother, and he’s gone, so she gets much, much worse, which leads her to the Kolavar. At the end of the story, coming out of the healing pod into Keith and Jana’s arms, Aoife recognizes how much she has hurt her children by her actions and her lessons. She has a lot of amends to make, and she’s trying to change, but it’s a difficult process that will take time and a lot of effort, and not a few relapses. But she’s trying, and for now, that’s enough.

Jenny’s Songs:

North by Sleeping at Last “We will call this place our home … We’ll tell our stories on these walls … We call this fixer upper home.” Jenny’s main issue beyond her family, is that she never had a place to call home. They never stayed anywhere more than a few days, a few weeks if she was lucky. The closest thing to a permanent home she had was the ship Aoife stole when she escaped, and while that was where she lived, it wasn’t home, because it was so incredibly small and so confining to all of them. Once they landed on a new planet the basic way it went was to leave the ship and stay outside it as long as they could before they had to leave again. Jenny knows every piece of the machinery, but it wasn’t her home. Aoife had a home for six to fourteen years, and Keith (from her viewpoint) had a home for five years, but Jenny has never had one and feels that loss keenly.

Pluto by Sleeping at Last “I leaned in and let it hurt, let my body feel the dirt. … Show me where my armor ends, show me where my skin begins.” Jenny  right as she starts to fight with Keith. She’s been strong for so very long, her whole life. Repressing her anger towards her mother, repressing her anger towards Keith, and when Keith said everything would go back to the way it was she just snapped and let all those walls she built over her life down. She loves her mother, loves her little uncle, but she had to wear armor to be around them, after those five years of Aoife’s grief, and Keith not being there. She doesn’t quite know where her love for them and her anger for them meet, but with time and a thousand apologies and honest open conversation, facilitated by Coran, she will be able to get there, eventually.

Queen of Peace by Florence and the Machine “Oh the King gone mad within his suffering … And now you have me on the run, the damage is already done … like a boat into oblivion because you’re driving me away.” For Jenny after Keith ‘died’ this was her life, Aoife gone mad because of his loss, and damaging her daughter in her wake. She’s asking Aoife if this is what she wanted. The fact that Light on the Horizon at the end of the story mentions there being a ship upon the sea indicated that the love between them has been drawn back from oblivion, but not quite to solid land yet.

Keith’s Songs:

East by Sleeping at Last “I set out to rule the world … so I draw my sword with the morning sun… I bear little resemblance to the king I once was, I bear little resemblance to the king I could become, maybe paper is paper, maybe kids will be kids.” Even though Keith was the younger sibling, he was the second in line to the imperial throne right after Lotor. Jenny was after him, then Haggar, and then Aoife after her, because Druids are automatically placed at the bottom of the line of inheritance because it’s more important to the Galra that they serve the Ladies first and then the clan. So Keith always knew, even though he wasn’t living with the Galra that he was in the line to rule the Galaxy, and when he was a little toddler he thought that was awesome, but as he grew up and realized the damage that the Galra Empire did, he went nope away from the thought. And now he’s a member of Voltron, and entity that while not ruling the Universe, is going to rebuild it, which is a different type of ‘kingship’ than what he idolized as a kid, but is more suited to the realities of the universe as it is.

Mercury by Sleeping at Last “In a holding pattern to find myself, … I’ll go anywhere you want, anywhere you want me. … to know the worth of my life made of precious metals.” Keith basically stifled on Earth for five years because he was desperate to know where Amanda came from, because he didn’t worship her the way Aoife did, but he needed to know about who she was where she came from, if she could have ever loved him. The precious metals line and the fact that his made-up-by-necessity last name means gold is just a bonus.

Which Witch by Florence and the Machine “I’ve had enough, it’s obvious, and I’m getting tired of crawling all the way … been in the dark since the day we met, fire help me to forget.” Keith is actually, genuinely surprised that he wasn’t recognized by anyone before Jenny. Allura and Coran he can let slide as they were asleep while Amanda and Aoife were in the universe, but everyone else? The Olkari and the Taujeeri, and the Galra, and the Balmerans? Amanda was well popularized, she went to events at Zarkon’s and Lotor’s sides and was praised as mother to the next generation of the empire, and Keith looks scarily like Amanda. He’s fairly sure that Zarkon recognized him when they fought while the others were rescuing Allura, when he started the taunting about ‘you fight like a Galra soldier’, to which Keith was internally like, ‘DUH of COURSE, because I was ENGINEERED THIS WAY TO YOUR SPECIFICATIONS’ while he wasn’t terrified out of his mind. Zarkon and Lotor and Haggar have been a shadow over him for his entire life, and he’s ready to cast them off and cast them away.

Miscellaneous Songs:

Why We Build The Wall? By Anais Mitchell This song doesn’t get a quote, because if I started quoting it I’d never stop. This describes perfectly the mentality of the Galra Empire, their teaching strategies, call and response echoing back ten thousand years, so that the ones in charge don’t even need to give the answer, because it’s so ingrained into their subjects. Jenny will listen to this and cry whenever she’s feeling particularly maudlin over her family.

Leave my Body by Florence and the Machine “I don’t want no future, I don’t need no past, one bright moment is all I ask. I’m going to leave my body, I’m gonna lose my mind. (Moving up to higher ground.)” The inspiration behind the Kolavar ritual in song format. The total subjugation of your past, any chance at a future, for one moment of judgement. Ignoring the needs of the body and becoming lost in your mind for weeks beforehand.

Daughter of Heaven by Kate Rusby “Oh Daughter of Heaven, oh daughter of now, the stars are your jewels, the rubies your crown, we all stand in awe of your right to astound, she’s gone to a new place now” This is the way that the universe as a whole sees Allelee and Aoife. Allelee as the daughter of traitor Altea, saved by her love for the Galra King-turned-Emperor. Aoife as the granddaughter of that same Emperor. They ultimately wind up leaving the reach of the Empire, Allelee through death, and Aoife though escaping into the border lands and never leaving it. Also Zarkon called Aoife his jewel, and she wore rubies as part of her ceremonial dress, as Allelee did. (They went surprisingly well with her hair, which was more of a red orange, than her little brother’s neon orange.)

Only if For a Night by Florence and the Machine “My body was bruised and I was set alight, … and although I was burning, you��re the only light, only if for a night.” This is Aoife and Thace in a nutshell. They’re each other’s light, each other’s source of hope, of sanity in a world gone mad at the whim of a family of dictators. They were tied together by a mental bond, one that wasn’t romantic, but was in the process of developing in that direction before it was interrupted by Haggar and then by Aoife’s pregnancy. They only saw each other in the flesh twice after Aoife ran away from her family, once before Lotor caught Aoife and once after, which marked the turning point in her use of illusions of Keith, only for a day and a night each time, because Aoife could never stay in the same place, and Thace had two opposing masters who he could almost never flee from. Thace would have sent her an apology through the bond before he died in the season 2 finale, and Aoife screamed and then went silent, though her mind was never silent, it was just a wail of anguish until she could speak to Jenny again.