#now THAT'S embarrassing!!!!!!! 🧍

[moe-broey]

Not your favorite! Not even your least favorite!

Like that could have been avoided. That should have been avoided. It's so easy to avoid that. And Yet

[p0rk-guts]

Speedran some first impression designs while re-listening to the few episodes of Penumbra I'd listened to a few years ago. All subject to change... Still figuring em out. Can never figure out the hair 😒

[silenthillbunni]

hmm rn i just wnna be someone's gf. living together. cooking together. just hugging them in the scary cold lonely night :(( holding hands while brushing our teeth. cuddling while watching tv... idk just that comfort. i want it >.<

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

date with a girl on Thursday feel like i’m gonna die

[dandyshucks]

i havent watched wrestling in so long but i saw some gifs of tonight's match and. whew. that stuff is crazy.

[transmage]

baby’s first er visit from a panic attack 🤡

[todayisafridaynight]

Daigo with a Prince Albert piercing, thoughts? (was gonna send this anon but I'm learning to be more confident uwu)

hang on i have to google something

[merry-the-cookie]

hello 👉🏼👈🏼 if youve been liking the various drawings and stuff that i have been making and u feel like supporting me there is now an easy way to do it right here over on my ko-fi !

tysm ily <3 heres a thing

[babygirlcowboy]

Experiencing feelings over fictional characters is so embarrassing bc how am I supposed to explain that I just started screaming and shaking bc I thought about a guy in a situation???

[bitterpngs]

i forgot to respond to this one health professional months ago and it now just hit me that i have two unopened messages from him 💀💀

[elfmagesurana]

Warden!Jowan AU: Redcliffe Conscription

~°••°~

Surana feels herself panicking, breathing coming on quicker at Arl Eamon's refusal to let Jowan leave the castle unmolested. The Arl, Bann Teagen, and Alistair look at her in various states of disapproval for even asking.

Surana knows for a fact now that Jowan will become Tranquil if he is sent back to Kinloch Hold. He'd told her as much when he'd been in that awful prison cell she released him from, and Irving himself had said as much when she'd asked about it in his office. She should have released him from the cell before, and told him to leave forever, hindsight is crueler than any demon.

With a heavy heart, Surana looks Jowan in the eyes before speaking.

"Then I shall recruit this mage into the Grey Wardens." She takes hold of his hand, and through muscle memory alone he brushes his thumb against her hand, calming her nerves. Jowan is her dearest friend, and she just wants him safe.

No one else accepts this outcome, especially Alistair. Surana can feel his disapproval before he even speaks.

"The Grey Wardens can't recruit criminals, Surana!" Alistair protested, Eamon gone silent and Bann Teagen looked to be in deep thought.

"Duncan recruited me, and I was sentenced to die!" Surana reminds him, hurt by his vehement refusal. He'd seen how much Jowan meant to her.

"Because of him!" Alistair shouts, and Surana jumps slightly as Alistair makes an unconscious step forward.

"Don't yell at her! You're mad at me, not her!" Jowan pipes up in defense of his friend, slightly surprising Surana. Usually the roles were reversed. He looks at her fondly. "She's my friend, and I care about her, more than anything. I'm sorry it took so long to realize that." Jowan apologizes.

"Oh Alistair, everyone deserves a second chance. The man is clearly remorseful of his actions." Leliana lightly scolds, her tone sympathetic to Jowan's situation and no doubt thinking of her own.

"Yes Alistair, do you truly hate this man so? Or has your Templar training poisoned your mind such that you cannot even conceive of anything beyond it? Would you truly let this man die?"

Alistair calms a bit at this, shamed. "I... you're right. I'm sorry Surana... Jowan. You're the leader, and I can't fault you for wanting to save your friend, Maker knows I wish I could've saved some of mine." Alistair says, quietly.

Surana feels nothing but relief, and accepts his apology. Looking to the Guerrins, Surana asks if she can count on them in the fight to come. They say yes, with Eamon recommending the group to finish using the grey warden treaties while he aims to get the Landsmeet started. Neither man make eye contact with Jowan.

With her heart lighter, Surana heads out of Redcliffe with Alistair, Leliana, Morrigan, and Jowan in tow.

--

Jowan is rendered unconscious, and Alistair is quick to check on him.

"He made it, surprisingly." Alistair said, picking Jowan up like a sack of potatoes and walking with Surana back to camp. He'd actually had to threaten a nosy Zevran not to follow them, and Alistair still felt guilty. Then felt annoyed at his guilt over threatening an assassin.

"I'm glad. And thank you again, Alistair. For letting me recruit him." Surana says, smiling up at him shyly.

Alistair blushes and looks forward. "He's your friend, and you are the leader of our little group. Doubly so after you beat up Sten. I still can't believe that worked." Alistair says, ribbing her.

Surana laughs along, happy there are no hard feelings.

--

Jowan wakes up eventually in his own tent, Surana had been taking care of him while he'd been unconscious. She smiles at him, eyes filled with something Jowan can't recognize. "What...was that? Was that the Archdemon?! We have to fight that thing?" Jowan says fearfully.

Surana nods, "Alistair said the nightmares will either get worse or you will be able to block them out eventually. as for the Archdemon, well. Between my Entropy magic and your... magic. I think we should save the Archdemon battle for Alistair, we will just support him I think. Now that you're up, we should head out. We need to head for the Brecilian Forest next."

Jowan needs help from Leliana to pack his tent back up, but he's quick to note that Alistair had to help Surana as well. A hard ball of shame sets in his stomach soon after however, knowing that he and Surana were lacking in what seemed to be things most everyone else already knew. He really hated living in the Circle.

Giving Sten a wide berth, Jowan sets his meager things into the caravan Bodahn had apparently given to them, as thanks for safe travels and good coin.

Jowan just hoped life as a Grey Warden wasn't as awful as life in the Circle.

--

Jowan didn't live many of his years outside of the Circle, but he was pretty sure that trees hadn't been attacking people constantly.

Morrigan had called them Sylvans, like they were normal. Jowan had tried casting a Flame Blast, but when it proceeded to do nothing but set them all on fire, he hid until the fight was over.

Sten had been livid, and Surana had to defend him by saying that it was his first battle. Which was true, but trees were attacking and that more than anything had scared him. Sten scared Jowan, not because of the Qunari thing but because of the way he looked at him. Like Jowan was the scariest person in the group, besides Wynne who he gave the same look to. Jowan would have chalked it up to them being mages except he was just plain nervous around Morrigan same as everyone, and looked at Surana with deference.

So Jowan had no clue what Sten's problem was, specifically, but until then Jowan would not get near him to find out.

--

Surana will admit, Jowan running scared wasn't a good look, especially as they were just trees. Apparently sometimes trees just began killing sprees but either way Jowan needed to be able to fight. Not necessarily be the best at combat, but at least do something.

Except blood magic, everyone got all up in arms about that apparently.

[giodoodless]

is it just me or is he standing there like he's got this huge thing hidden right up his a—

[sapphicflower-ao3]

my bkdk fanfic role models….. my superstars…. my ride or dies…. the subjects of my shrines…. my deities…. and et cetera

i’m sorry for using the same meme format twice but i just have so much love in my heart

[leahcee]

grateful I haven’t had sex in ages bc it feels like hella ppl I know from hs and college are getting pregnant and I’m having a crisis over it (barely able to care for myself) also like if I had a kid rn I’d probably name it like fucking Rhaegar or some shit 🤨

[kazewhara]

You have such an infectious energy. It's always nice to see you on the dash talking to people and answering asks.

I know it can be exhausting sometimes and I just want you to know that you're doing incredible. seeing you here makes me happy (like passing a wonderful human on the street. One you've know forever and feel comfortable smiling without worry)

-hazel

oh!! oh boy i'm sitting here so flattered that i'm literally at a loss for words oh jeez oh heck UM

thank you hazel 💞 i'm glad i can lighten your mood, even if it's only by a little 🥺💕

[kiran]

🙇🏻.