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#now i am still a loser ( well actually this cool bubbly normie girl likes to pull me along with her but it makes me feel bad )
derpinette · 1 month
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i miss going to school because i always knew everybody's business but nobody knew mine due to being a huge loser. & it ruled
#now i am still a loser ( well actually this cool bubbly normie girl likes to pull me along with her but it makes me feel bad )#( also i hate going outside & barely do now because i am having an androphobia flare RN which is to say agoraphobia like i vomit... gay AF#but anyway i also went to small private schools with declining enrollment numbers all my life Well only two one for 13 years#& then i switched to a cheaper one on my senior year. i would lurk & people would be like No worries you can say it it's only nyumie here#or they would tell me directly when nobody would want to talk to them due to drama & then leave & forget me as soon as they could#nobody would ever ask about my business it was so effingg awesome. altho there were rumors i was gay ( completely true )#the fact that both schools were small made it so that it was easier to know what was happening in most grades#but now IDK ANYTHING EVER even if i were to eavesdrop my faculty is just way too big & i barely even attend anyway +i hate that dump ETC ET#this is so detrimental to my QOL & need to Observe &Lurk my life is so EMPTY & boring i want to know somebody's petty drama#& i KNOW it happens you just have to be in a circle & attend everyday which I CBAAAA. when people pull me aside to hang out i know then#but i want NO INVOLVEMENT !!!! i just want to be in the background leave me alone i already have a girl i can relate & be loyal to#& she dropped out i never thought i actually would but here we are. i just want to acquire information from a distance on a regular basis-_#the reason why i never hated going to school despite bullying up until like my last year is because well i grew up in my original school#so i was familiar with everyone & everyday there would be something new & funny to discuss with my bestie who lives far away now -_-#i meanwe only really saw eachother at school anyway Man i wish i could GO BACK but not really vut yes but no...
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