#the fact that both schools were small made it so that it was easier to know what was happening in most grades

[derpinette]

i miss going to school because i always knew everybody's business but nobody knew mine due to being a huge loser. & it ruled

[heesdreamer]

FIRST SUMMER

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ you and your bestfriends brother (possibly your mortal enemy) are both given the task of renovating your childhood lake house during the final summer before it’s sold

WARNINGS ➩ light smut, heeseung and reader aren’t super nice to each other most the time

WC ➩ 14.5k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ Well.. officially out of retirement with this one I hope! I started this august of last year and abandoned it during my hiatus so picking up where I left off was a bit difficult and I apologize for any changes in writing styles. This isn’t my favorite thing I’ve written but I hope you guys enjoy it, thank you always for waiting for me. NOT PROOFREAD NO PART 2

You wondered if Lee Heeseung had been put on this earth for the sole purpose of making your life more difficult.

He’d probably argue this assumption with the fact he had been born before you, his main reasoning behind his many claims that you were the one copying him and making his life a living hell and not the other way around. He was a measly two years older than you but never failed to bring it up and use it against you.

Heeseung had been in your life for as long as you could remember and you absolutely never got along.

It wasn’t a big issue at first considering you were kids and had no real need to be around each other. The playgrounds were big enough for the both of you and your parents saw no reason to force a connection between the two of you, despite the fact you were neighbors and the two pairs of adults actually got along quite well.

Similarly to you and Heeseung’s little sister, a small girl who was born in the same year as you but nearly your polar opposite in personality. At first you’d been hesitant when she started to show up to play with the older boy, knowing him by now as the enemy and assuming she was going to be just as wicked and terrible. It only took watching her push him down onto wood chips once for you to decide to be her best friend.

The boy had scowled from his place on the ground, grumpily picking pieces of the wood from the fabric of his sweater and watching the two of you run off together towards the swings.

He’d failed to understand the power of your friendship in that moment and now 15 years later he was still paying the price, stuck with the two of you constantly. You and Jiwoo almost seemed more like siblings than they did, attached at the hip and never going too long without talking to each other.

Which is why it was all the more annoying that you and Heeseung could never seem to get along, reverting right back to being two kids arguing on the playground every time you saw each other, which was quite often. You’d practically moved into the Lee’s house next door during high school and you were even a frequent guest on their family vacations, their mom booking a place with an extra bed for you before she even asked if you were available.

You weren’t exactly sure why the two of you didn’t get along. He was nice enough to other people and sometimes he cracked jokes that nearly made you laugh, only nearly. For some reason he just brought out a terrible side of you that you didn’t really understand and you were certain you did the same for him.

It was easier now that you were out of school and entering adulthood, not having any major reasons to constantly see each other and his parents didn’t have to force him to drive you and Jiwoo around places now that you had your own cars.

He was definitely still around though and you were trying your best to act civilly despite that inner part of you always preparing for an argument to break out between you.

Especially right now considering the fact he kept kicking your leg underneath the table at the restaurant both your families were eating together at. The Lee’s cousin was in town and you’d always been particularly interested in him, being a total sucker for an accent and a good beach tan.

You sent a glare to your right in Heeseung’s direction when he kicked you for the third time and jammed your heel against the bone in his leg, ignoring the grunt of pain he let out as he bent slightly forward to grab onto his shin. His mom sent him a concerned glance before remembering who he was sitting next to and rolling her eyes as she looked away from the two of you.

You were watching Jake as he talked animatedly about his life guarding job back in his hometown, leaning forward and resting your chin on your palm to show your interest despite the fact you weren’t fully listening.

It was difficult to considering the constant distraction sitting beside you, another kick being sent to the leg of your chair so you jolted slightly to the side. You whipped your head around to look at him again, immediately replacing your interested and awed look with one of hatred and disgust.

“What the hell is your problem?” You were spitting at him in a low whisper, grateful the table was big enough that the others weren’t really paying attention to you. Although they had to have expected an argument eventually considering they sat the two of you together, breaking an unspoken rule that had been built up throughout the years.

“Stop trying to seduce my cousin.” He was spitting back and his eyebrows were pulled down tight in a sharp glare, keeping eye contact with you in an attempt to intimidate you.

“Mind your own business.” Your response was quick and tight, slightly embarrassed he’d caught you staring but too angry to care.

You turned back to try and focus in on the conversation again but now you were suddenly overly aware of the fact Heeseung was sitting next to you and watching what you were doing, looking for any opportunity to tease you and start up an argument. You sighed softly and leaned back in your chair with crossed arms, keeping a scowl on your face and letting the dinner pass by without speaking again.

“You know, I figured the two of you would eventually start getting along once you became adults.” Your mothers tone was laced with lighthearted disappointment after the dinner, walking ahead of you on the rock path leading up to your front door.

You could hear your father laughing softly in front of her at the idea of your life long feud being laid to rest, a frown instinctively coming up on your face at their inside joke.

Glancing over to the side, looking past the small stretch of grass that separated your pathway from the Lee’s, you saw Heeseung sporting a similar dejected expression and you wondered for a second if he was hearing the same lecture you’d been getting after dinners for as long as you can remember. Then he was looking over towards you and meeting your gaze in the low light of the summer sun setting, eyes immediately hardening into a glare that you quickly returned.

It was hard not to think about it later on in bed, eyes trained on the old plastic stars on your ceiling that didn’t glow anymore. Your hands were folded on your stomach and you were tapping your thumbs softly on the smooth skin in contemplation.

Sometimes, although you’d rather die than admit it to anyone, you also didn’t understand why you and Heeseung didn’t just stop fighting.

He was kind to Jiwoo in a way that always made you envy having siblings and despite his constant teasing he never declined driving her places or picking up food for her when she didn’t feel like going out. And he was even kinder to your parents, treating them like his own and having manners enough for the three of you growing up.

It was like you were dealing with a completely different person, him falling into that same angry glare the moment you’d step into a room. Sometimes he’d be mid story with a group of friends, being charming and funny as he recanted something and exaggerated moments to get a few more chuckles. You’d watch from a far for a bit and then slowly approach and every single time he’d pause for a moment, looking completely thrown off by your arrival, and then tensing up and losing track of what he was saying.

Your presence just seemed to bug him and as the two of you got older it affected you more. You didn’t mind the fact he wouldn’t play with you when you were kids, never dwelled over him saying you had cooties or getting dirt on your favorite stuffed animals.

But the fact he still continued to hate you as you aged and matured, settling into your respective personalities and lives, you couldn’t help but be offended he disliked you so much.

“He’s just weird.” Jiwoo had explained to you once when you were both seventeen, sprawled out on her bed and flipping through a magazine as she addressed you. “You shouldn’t think too deeply about it.”

Heeseung had just graduated high school and you’d all attended the ceremony, both families getting reserved seats per his request.

It had actually gone well for once, he didn’t seem upset that you were there and he had even hugged you alongside your parents when he came off the stage and your mother handed him a bouquet of celebratory flowers. Mrs. Lee had shot you a surprised glance and then a supportive thumbs up and you gave her a soft smile in return, figuring he was just so excited to have graduated that he was managing to tolerate you being there.

The Lee’s had taken advantage of the fact your backyards combined into each other, no fencing between them, and the two pairs of parents had decorated the space for a small party for the older boy.

You were excited to go, especially since Heeseung hadn’t demanded an explanation for your invitation, and you even managed to make some good amount of conversation with a few of his friends.

The conversation was swiftly interrupted when you felt a hand wrapped around the middle of your arm, tugging you a few inches backwards to get your attention. You whipped around to see who it was and you were met with an angry looking Heeseung, looking more familiar to you than the smiley version of him you’d seen earlier.

“Why are you talking to my friends?” His voice was accusatory like you’d done something wrong and he sounded so upset that for a second you felt like you had.

Your mouth had parted in confusion, fumbling for words and coming up short from the shock of his sudden confrontation and also the embarrassment of the situation considering he wasn’t exactly being subtle with his anger and the boy behind you could definitely hear every word he was saying.

“Chill out Hee, we were just making simple conversation.” Jay proved you right by speaking from over your shoulder but you didn’t bother looking at him, keeping your eyes locked on Heeseung and wincing softly at the way his face hardened at his friend defending you. “Cmon man, I know better than to-“

“Do you know better? Because it doesn’t seem like it.” Heeseung was cutting him off at the same time he was removing his gaze from yours, breaking you slightly out of the worried spell you were under as he looked at his friend from over your shoulder.

You weren’t exactly sure what they were talking about but you assumed Heeseung had warned his friends against speaking to you. It took you back a bit, despite knowing he didn’t like you.

The two of you definitely didn’t get along but you were still very close regardless if you liked it or not and you spent a lot of time together, so it hurt you more than you expected it to that he hated you enough to actively try and keep his friends from interacting with you, enough to the point he’d embarrass you and cause a scene at the sight of it.

“Hee I’m sorry.” His eyes snapped back down towards you at the sound of your quiet voice, completely out of character for you to not be fighting back or making a snarky remark.

It seemed to throw him off enough that his anger faltered for a second, looking concerned for a moment as he stared down at you before his jaw was tightening again and his face hardened back up.

You weren’t sure why you didn’t bother to snap back at him, if it was from the embarrassment of being ripped out of a conversation and scolded like a dog who’d gotten into the trash or if it was actual disappointment at his behavior despite the fact you definitely should’ve been used to it.

“I think you should head home. Parties almost over anyways.” He was eventually saying and it was directed towards you although his eyes had dragged back over your shoulder to look at Jay.

You figured he had looked away because he was feeling slightly guilty for embarrassing you and not being fought back in return, or maybe he was disgusted with you and didn’t want to look at you.

Still, his tone wasn’t as angry anymore although just as hard and stern, and you nodded softly before stepping sideways out from between the two tall boys. You knew he was lying about the party being over soon but it had ended for you anyways and you had no issue leaving it and going to the safety of your bedroom.

Jiwoo had caught the end of the encounter and caught up with you as you speedily walked away from the boys who had started to angrily murmur at each other, hence leading to the conversation about her brother in your bedroom and her explaining he was just being weird.

“Jay is a total playboy though, you should steer clear of him.” Her nose was curling up in disgust as she made the casual comment but a small pout formed on your face, wondering if Heeseung thought you were going to hookup with his friend and that’s why he was extra aggressive about it.

Eventually you let it pass from your mind to become just another bullet point in the long list of things Heeseung had done to show you he truly disliked you.

It was a lot easier to start to dislike him back, easier to fight with him and snap insults rather than get confused and sad about why he treated you so differently. So your routine was set in stone even deeper and neither of you ever faltered, not during birthdays or relative weddings or even your own graduation two years later.

So it wasn’t exactly an easy thing to handle when your parents and the Lee’s were sitting you all down to explain that your family lake house was going to be sold at the end of the summer.

“Wait why would you ever sell it?” Jiwoo was blurting out before they got the chance to explain and you had a permanent frown on your face as you waited to hear their response.

You watched your dad and Mr. Lee exchange a heavy but meaningful look, like there was something they’d already discussed amongst themselves in regards of how to tell you. You were sat on the left of Jiwoo, Heeseung on her right and for some reason you had to resist the urge to lean forward and see what his expression was.

“We’ve decided, now that you three are all grown up, it was just time. We figured we’d use the money to travel during the summer or save towards retirement.”

It made sense as your dad started to speak but you felt a weird clenching in your stomach at the thought of not having the lake house to go to anymore.

Realistically he was completely right and you’d started to neglect the yearly trips out there, taking them for granted and not appreciating the time you got to spend at the house. You didn’t even go at all the last two years, finding yourself too caught up with things so unimportant you don’t even remember them now.

The lake house was a tradition that was instilled before any of you were even born, a collaborative effort of your parents to try and bring some fun and adventure to your summers since you grew up so close to the city.

“So it’s just gone?” Heeseung was speaking for the first time since the meeting was called and you were surprised to hear how thick his voice was with upset, clearly more affected by the breaking news than you and his sister. You caved to the urge and leaned forward a bit to try and get a look at him but Jiwoo shot you a sideways glance and you quickly sat back in place.

“Well not exactly.” Mrs. Lee’s voice was soft as always and you watched as she reached across the small space between the seven of you and gently rubbed her sons knee, giving him a soft smile and an encouraging nod. “We will have one last summer with it, mostly for renovations before the new owners come to look at it.”

You knew exactly what she was talking about when she said renovations, hearing your dad complain about the rotting in the deck and the holes in the inside walls for years now but never making the time to fix them.

But you weren’t fully understanding what they had planned for the three of you yet and you wished you had in that moment so maybe you could have come up with an excuse faster. They explained to you softly, attempting to lessen the blow, that you would have to go and stay at the lake house for a few weeks and fix up the place to make it look brand new for the new owners.

You weren’t at all against getting to be up there one last time, breathing in the clear air and having campfires on the sand, but you definitely didn’t want to sign up to spend your summer doing free manual labor.

Your parents left no room for argument and you could see the prepared disappointment on their faces so you offered no reason for it to escape, hesitantly agreeing with the plan and waiting to hear what the siblings next to you had to say about it. Jiwoo was stiff beside you and staring forward at the ground like she was in deep thought, a bad feeling washing over you at her expression.

She proved your suspicions right when she started to explain in a meek voice that she had already made plans for the first month of summer, having completely booked and paid for a vacation near the sea.

Her eyes shifted towards you as she told your parents this and you immediately furrowed your eyebrows in annoyance, knowing right away she was lying and making up an excuse so she didn’t have to come with you until the second half of summer and by then the house would be mostly finished already.

To make matters worse, you didn’t even process the fact Heeseung would definitely not decline considering how much he loved the lake house and that would leave the two of you alone up there.

He seemed to piece it together a few seconds before you did and you saw the realization settle over your parents faces too.

“Woah woah wait, there’s no way I’m going with just her.” He was quick to shut down the idea, sitting up straighter and shaking his head dramatically.

You didn’t say anything in response surprisingly despite the fact everybody in the room tensed up in anticipation for a fight to break out between the two of you. You were a bit dazed from the news of losing a big piece of your childhood and you were also just tired from the day over all, already knowing Heeseung was going to reject before he’d even opened his mouth to do so.

Mr. Lee was sighing and beginning to lecture his son on being an adult and putting your differences aside for something this important but Mrs. Lee was silent and giving you a curious look that you were too afraid to try and decipher.

Eventually it was decided that the two of you would either suck it up and go to the lake house together and work on it without killing each other or you’d face the wrath of four disappointed parents. You didn’t say much about the agreement either although Heeseung had plenty of comments to make and Jiwoo was finding the entire situation pretty hilarious from an outside view.

It had been about an hour since the family meeting and you were still in the Lee’s house, leaning your hip against the counter in the kitchen and mindlessly peeling some potatoes for the stew their mother was making for dinner.

The air was hot and dry like it always was during the beginning of summer, not bothering to creep up anymore and instead it just seemed like one day it was cold and the next you could barely sleep without waking up in a puddle of sweat.

You could hear the bugs outside from the open window, loud and alive with excitement for the new season and the breeze was just barely cooling off your damp skin. Normally this would bring you the same feeling summer always did, a lightness in your chest and a heavy sense of nostalgia everywhere you went.

It wasn’t hard to guess what was dampening your mood and leaving you feeling a bit shut off, the source of the weird emotions just a staircase away upstairs in his room playing video games.

Mrs. Lee was walking into the kitchen and pausing when she saw you although you only met her eyes for a split second before quickly focusing back in on your peeling and chopping. She cleared her throat softly and came over towards where you were leaning on the counter, placing down some lettuce and starting to chop besides you.

“Something put out your fire tonight?” She was asking it casually and her voice was as soft as ever but you immediately understood what she was implying.

You glanced at her from the side of your eye before shaking your head. Mrs. Lee had a certain aura about her that always made you feel like a little kid again, vulnerable and sensitive. As much as you loved your own mother, you always envied your neighbors for having her so close growing up.

“Sometimes it just isn’t worth the argument.” Your words weren’t the least bit convincing considering how forced they sounded coming from your mouth, paired with the fact you’d never once backed down from an argument and they all seemed to be worth it to you up until this point.

You could hear her take a deep self calming breath and your hands froze where they were chopping slowly, bracing yourself for whatever she was planning to say next.

“He means well honey he just… isn’t sure how to get through to you.” She somehow sounded as certain as she did hesitant and you could feel her gentle hand patting the side of your arm softly, leaving you with your poorly sliced vegetables and dimmed fire.

——

Throughout the entire process of packing your bags and mentally preparing yourself to head up to the lake house, you’d completely forgotten the fact you’d have to ride with him the entire five hour car ride there and then back again once it was all over.

He definitely didn’t seem to miss this fact considering he was standing outside leaning against the car with a nasty scowl when you came out, dragging your suitcase behind you and nearly tripping over the step off the porch from its wobbling weight. Your mother was trailing behind to say goodbye but not offering much help when it came to loading up your stuff.

Heeseung luckily didn’t say anything to you when you were approaching, greeting your mom with a gentle but annoyed good morning and staying on the side of the vehicle when you started to attempt to load your stuff inside the trunk.

After a few groans of annoyance slipped out of you, due to the fact your bags kept tipping over back out towards you and refusing to stay still in the neat tower of things Heeseung had packed for himself, he was sighing and making his way back towards you.

You glared at him when he circled around the car, not in the mood to be berated or rushed so early in the morning, especially right before you were stuck in a car together for the entire first half of the day. Your harsh facial expression faltered a bit when he was rolling his eyes and tugging your suitcase out of your grip.

“Just go and get in the car already, you take too long.” He was spitting it at you and harshly side eyeing you before starting to load your stuff up but you didn’t bother to argue considering the gesture was nice enough if you ignored the attitude he always carried.

“Well that was sweet of him.” Your mother was whispering the words to you in a dreamy voice, nudging you softly with her elbow and eyeing Heeseung through the windows.

You paused and glared at her in confusion, a dumbfounded expression and a sneaking suspicion starting to arise considering how weird both her and Mrs. Lee have been acting in regards to the two of you and your complicated, but mostly aggressive, relationship.

“Are you kidding me?” You settled on a bewildered statement instead of grilling her about her weirdness, knowing she wouldn’t give you an answer anyways.

She had given you a shrug that you assumed was noncommittal and then hugged you tight, tighter than she’d ever had and you tensed up a bit at the embrace.

You’d gotten into the passenger seat of the car and tried not to think about how weird the dramatic send off was, tried to focus yourself on keeping calm and not letting Heeseung get to you too early on in your time being forced together. You weren’t exactly sure why you were trying to be the bigger person lately but you chalked it up to being exhausted with the back and forth.

“You’d think she was sending you off to war.” He’d made the comment as he put the car into drive and you glanced over at him, staring at the side of his face, both confused and relieved by the fact he had noticed your moms weird attitude.

“She might as well be.” You didn’t mean to sound so snippy but it was your default setting when replying to him and he didn’t seem to mind the tone, chuckling dryly under his breath and shaking his head in annoyance before focusing in on the road.

He didn’t attempt to talk to you again for another hour or two and you were grateful for the silence, giving you another opportunity at being less confrontational. It definitely wasn’t for his benefit or to be kinder to him, you just didn’t want to constantly be exhausting your energy with the effort it took to keep up with whatever set him off.

Eventually he was pulling off of the main highway and turning into a gas station that was almost completely barren, stuck in one of those sections of a road trip that was basically just fields followed by more fields.

He was getting out of the car and shifting through his pockets for his wallet before sighing and glancing at you in the passenger seat, watching him from the corner of your eye so it didn’t seem like you were staring.

“Want anything to eat or drink?” He was asking in that familiar reluctant tone he always had with you and for a second you wanted to snap at him and decline his offer, tell him to just hurry up and get what he needed so you could get back on the road.

You took a small breath instead to steady your emotions before nodding. “Yeah I’ll just… I’ll take a-“

“I know what you want.” He was cutting you off and closing the car door before you could say anything else, leaving you with parted lips and annoyance starting to simmer in the lowest part of your stomach.

You scoffed even though he wasn’t around to hear it and leaned back in your seat, crossing your arms and scowling as you waited for him to return. You highly doubted he knew what you would get from a gas station, knowing he never paid attention to you or your interest outside of finding something to fight about and it just aggravated you further that he would go as far as to ask like he cared just to not let you answer.

He didn’t take long in the gas station luckily or else you’d overthink too much and be on the verge of exploding, sniffing slightly when he slid back into his seat and passed the bag with the snacks in it.

You paused for a second to glare at him before you were taking a look into the plastic and pausing when you spotted your favorite drink and a snack you commonly ate whenever you were stressed out or particularly craving something, mixed in with things you knew he enjoyed.

“What?” He was asking from the drivers seat and he sounded weirdly awkward underneath the familiar attitude. “Is it not right or something?”

“No it’s… it’s right.” You cleared your throat and nodded softly, sitting back in your seat and closing the snack bag after you grabbed what you wanted out of it and balanced it on your lap. “Thanks.”

“Yeah whatever.” It was muttered in his low tone but you caught it anyways, finding it almost as weird as the fact you had thanked him. He was finally starting the car and starting to pull out of the gas station much to your relief and you focused back on looking out the passenger window.

The heat was reaching the point where the low quality AC in the car wasn’t doing much to cool either of you down and once he rolled his window down instead, you took the silent cue to do the same to yours.

It was still pretty dry in the air and the sweat was really starting to make you itch and worsen your mood so you were hesitantly unbuckling your seatbelt so you could sit up more in your spot and pull your sweater over your head, leaving you in just a tank top and you sighed softly in relief as the air immediately cooled down the wetness of your sweaty arms.

You could feel Heeseung’s stare from your left and you glanced at him with furrowed eyebrows, rolling your eyes when he quickly scowled in return before snapping his gaze back onto the road.

It was pretty quiet for the rest of the drive, Heeseung playing the same music you often heard coming from his bedroom or his headphones when you were forced to sit close to each other in a car so you were actually able to recognize them and sing along.

Neither of you said much even when getting out of the car and starting to bring your things in, exchanging quick glares when you reached for the same bag or got in each others way but for the most part you were too relieved to finally be back somewhere that always caused your stress to melt away.

This time wasn’t any different and you took a second before you went inside with your things to take a deep breath, letting the fresh air fill your lungs and listening to the sounds of the water against the shore just off in the distance.

You couldn’t see the lake from the driveway as clearly as you could from the other side of the house where the deck was located but it was just one of those places where you could actually feel the difference in the air and the atmosphere.

“Can you hurry up? There’s plenty of time to stop and do nothing later.” Heeseung was griping at you as he passed by with another load of bags and you scowled at his back, completely removed from the peaceful moment you’d been having.

You decided to just leave it be and finish unpacking, flopping onto your back on your designated bed and panting slightly from the effort mixed with the heat once you were completely finished. Your phone had been abandoned against the span of your stomach but when it started to vibrate, you immediately knew who it was.

“So how’s it going? Have you killed my brother yet?” Jiwoo’s amused voice did nothing but amuse you further although you were struck by how much you missed her teasing.

You could hear the sounds of waves in the distance through her side of the phone, envy settling deep into your gut despite the fact you were also near water. The small lake was a lot different compared to the endless sea she was currently vacationing at, having a nice time with people who cared about her versus you being stuck with her older brother who couldn’t bother even being kind to you.

“We surprisingly haven’t really fought yet.” It came out of your mouth in a hefty sigh and you absentmindedly played with the string of your pajama shorts, pressing the phone tighter against your ear. “Think he’s downstairs getting ready for dinner.”

“Are you going to eat with him then or just hide out in our childhood bedroom?” She was asking it like it was a question but you both knew the answer already, the same accusatory tone that she always had heavy in her voice underneath the knowing smile you could practically see in front of you. “He’d probably secretly like it if you ate with him you know, I always did figure he had a crush on you.”

An automatic eye roll came over you at the sound of her baseless teasing. She often made jokes about Heeseung secretly liking you growing up, coming to the conclusion that was the reason he was always so harsh towards you.

You’d told her countless times that that was absolutely ridiculous and there was no way Heeseung liked you, let alone that he was the type of person who thought being mean to somebody was going to get them to like him back. You had seen the types of girls Heeseung brought home occasionally and he definitely knew better than to resort to elementary school level flirting methods.

She was eventually hanging up once one of her friends started to call her name, inviting her to come and swim with them.

You laid in bed for a while after the call went silent, feeling struck again with that weird lonely and nostalgic emotion that you couldn’t quite understand. It wasn’t normally this silent in the lake house, typically filled with doors opening and closing and the sounds of your mothers rushing around the kitchen as they cooked and your fathers cleaned.

As much as you didn’t want to, you couldn’t help but wonder if Heeseung was feeling just as weird about the whole situation as you, if he was downstairs just as lonely and unnerved by the fact it was only the two of you this summer and then nobody ever again. Your mind stuck on that thought process when you started to smell food drifting its way up the stairs and going straight to your empty stomach.

You’d planned to avoid the older boy as much as you could, especially during the first few days, but you were beyond hungry by now and you couldn’t help yourself from standing out of the bed and making your way downstairs.

He didn’t notice you for a few seconds when you first hit the bottom step, watching him for a beat as he casually moved around the kitchen and diverted his attention to three different pots and pans. He was listening to music again, something low playing from the old radio that sat in the lake house year round, and you realized how often you associated him with something soft playing.

You were completely ripped from your thought process when he was turning around and letting out a loud shriek when he saw you standing at the bottom of the stairs, dropping the bowl that was in his hands and doing a little scared hop.

“What the fuck are you doing?” He was spitting out and your mouth parted in surprise, not expecting such an extreme reaction or how loud it suddenly got. “Why are you just standing there like a weirdo?”

“What? I was not, I was just..” You started to defend yourself loudly but gave up midway and let out an annoyed grunt, knowing he wasn’t exactly wrong about what you were doing and you didn’t necessarily have an explanation. “I was just coming to see what you were cooking dickhead.”

He stared at you for a few seconds with a look on his face that you didn’t really understand before he was stepping to the side and revealing the plate with a handful of burgers on it.

You looked at it before you were meeting his stare and a weird feeling passed through you while holding his gaze, not something you often did- especially not willingly. He had cooked enough for the both of you despite his attitude when you’d came down and you weren’t sure if it was intentional or just habit but the act struck you.

The two of you ended up sitting at the table and eating in awkward silence, directly across from him but feeling like he was miles away considering he hadn’t even acknowledged you being in the room once.

You couldn’t help but be hyper aware of the fact you were very rarely alone with Heeseung and this was about as alone as any two people could possibly be. He was a lot less defensive when it was just the two of you and if you didn’t know any better you’d say he almost seemed shy, making you think about the jokes Jiwoo often made.

It’s not like Heeseung was at all ugly, you’d never stoop low enough to make fun of him for something that was so clearly not true.

Especially within the last year or two, he’d completely changed both in build and confidence and you were extremely glad you didn’t have to be around him as much as you did growing up. You disliked him as a human being but you were still a person in reality and he was almost unnaturally attractive.

“Why are you staring at me again?” His voice was low across the table, speaking in an awkward mumble as he started to push what was left of his food around with his fork.

You didn’t bother denying the fact you were watching him even though you hadn’t really realized you were doing it, completely zoned out again. You figured your time in the house together was already going to be awkward no matter what so you might as well ask him what you were thinking about. “Jiwoo says you have a crush on me.”

He completely tensed up for just a split second before he was quickly switching his demeanor and letting out a heavy scoff like he found you ridiculous. You caught the small reaction and your interest peaked, sensing an opportunity to get under his skin.

“Jiwoo also watches too many romance movies.” He was quickly disregarding what you had said with a casual and bored tone but you could tell that he was clenching his fork a little tighter, avoiding looking up from his plate all together.

“So you’ve never once found me attractive?” It rolled off your tongue easily, like you were asking him something as simple as to pass the mashed potatoes, but you gave him a knowing glance from under your eyelashes.

He finally looked up at you once you said this and he seemed taken back by the way you were watching him, the expression on his face telling you he thought you were absolutely crazy for even asking this.

“What? Are you kidding me, of course I haven’t.” He was quick to deny it and you could tell he was getting irritated, hand tightening around his silverware and that familiar clench of his jaw showcasing how much your questions were bothering him. You couldn’t tell if it was because he felt embarrassed or disgusted.

You let out a soft hum of understanding and let the silence sit for a few breaths, watching as he slightly relaxed under the assumption you were done saying weird things.

“I think you’re attractive.” He had been mid bite when you finally spoke again and his body lurched forward almost like he was choking, covering his mouth when he coughed and quickly taking a sip of water to try and force down whatever he had put into his mouth before you nearly killed him.

After he calmed down he was shaking his head at you again although not looking at you, staring down at his plate like he was thinking deeply about something and for a minute you wondered if he was going to take the bait like always or if he was going to just brush you off, making your stay much more awkward.

“My sister put you up to this?” His voice was stone cold now and he clearly was slowly losing his resolve, similarly to you considering what he said had completely thrown you off.

What did Jiwoo have to do with any of this and why would he automatically think that?

“No.” You shrugged like it was a casual conversation but your heart was beating a bit faster now, sensing genuine anger from him and not just annoyance. “I just don’t see the point in lying just because we don’t like each other.”

“You think I’m attractive?” His eyebrow was quirking up now and he was narrowing his eyes, leaning forward in his seat.

He’d finally put down his fork and stopped pretending to be focusing on the food he had barely eaten, elbows on the table and his full attention on you as he waited for you to reaffirm what you had said so confidently a few seconds ago.

The confidence had definitely left your body as soon as you’d said it and actually got his attention, feeling similarly to how you did when he embarrassed you at his party despite the fact the two of you were alone.

Very alone.

Still, you held strong and pushed through the conversation and if your stomach turned at his head tilt when you gave him a small quick nod, you’d pretend it didn’t. There was no going back now and you weren’t sure what direction this scenario was heading towards.

On one hand, you knew Heeseung had to be lying. You definitely weren’t unattractive and he clearly had eyes, ones that settled on you more times than you’d wished you had noticed so he wasn’t oblivious to this fact either regardless if he wanted to pretend he was. He was a teenage boy at one point and you were prancing around his house in short skirts and bathing suits.

And on the other hand, you didn’t think it necessarily mattered.

If Heeseung found you attractive he didn’t have to say it and this would be the ultimate time to completely embarrass you, humiliate even. If he rejected you here, you’d never live it down and he’d forever hold this over you as the time he utterly destroyed your ego in one fell swoop. Plus a large part of you was hoping he wasn’t planning to do that anyways even though you weren’t exactly sure what you wanted out of this.

You had hated the boy across from you for as long as you’ve known the power of the emotion and you’d never let him and his tall build and cute hair distract you from this fact.

But you also weren’t stuck seeing him everyday now. He didn’t live at home and you rarely came around unless you were forced beyond what you could deny so the stakes were a lot less high if he reciprocated what you were saying right now.

“You’re going to have to say it.” His low commanding tone was enough to stop you from overthinking the fact this was a bad idea, an absolutely terrible idea.

It was also enough for you to shift in your chair uncomfortably so you could better squeeze your legs together, watching the way Heeseung’s eyes darkened at the movement even though there was no way he could see what you were doing underneath the table.

“I think you’re attractive Hee, don’t be weird about it.” You were pulling yourself together and standing from your seat then, completely popping the bubble of tension that had started to suffocate you.

He didn’t say anything, thankfully not correcting you on the fact you had definitely been the one who made things weird, but he watched you with a heavy expression as you hurriedly cleaned your plate and disappeared up the stairs with quick footsteps.

——

You were coming to terms with an unmeasurable amount of regret now that a few hours had passed.

The bed had become your official moping place and you stuffed your face so far into the pillow you could barely catch your breath, possibly a self punishment for your humiliating behavior. You’d given up on attempting to sleep and you couldn’t rely on Jiwoo to entertain you considering she was probably busy and you were fearful you’d slip up and confess your sins to her the second she answered.

How do you explain that you’d nearly, just barely, flirted with her brother?

If you could even call it that considering the fact he looked like he was just on the verge of throwing his plate at you the entire time. Still, it had been weird and far too bold on your part and you were strongly regretting your life decisions up until this point.

Eventually you decided that sleep was useless and not coming anytime soon and you might as well make use of the fact you were at the lake house, suddenly remembering the hot tub that was placed around the side of the large deck. It didn’t take long for you to change into your swimsuit and start to head outside but you froze up right outside the slider door.

Considering how cruel the universe had been up to this point, you should’ve expected the fact that Heeseung was already occupying the small pool of water.

You were just starting to take a step backwards with the plan to retreat back upstairs and change again into your pajamas when you decided against it, taking a deep heavy breath before pulling the door open and simultaneously alerting the boy of your presence.

He was nearly all the way in the bubbling water but you could tell he was shirtless, something you’d normally be unaffected by if it wasn’t for the conversation you had. The steam from the hot water mixing with the cold night air was covering his face for the most part but you could see him enough to tell his face had hardened at the sight of you.

His gaze was locked on you for the duration of your walk towards the tub, stopping right outside of it and taking another subtle breath to try to calm yourself down.

“Mind if I join you?” Your voice was rougher than you wanted to be, nearly giving up the fact you were affected by the awkward tensioned air and the way he was watching you still.

He made it worse by not responding out loud, giving you a subtle nod of his head that made your heart rate increase. Still you were following through with the initial goal and climbing over the side of the tub before settling down into the hot water, letting out a sigh of relief and sinking into it until only the tip of your shoulders were above the surface.

Heeseung was still watching you and you were avoiding looking at his side completely, although that didn’t help much considering you could feel his stare on you.

“I’m sorry for making shit weird.”

Well apparently your mouth was planning on getting things out of the way before your brain was.

You looked up just in time to see him cock a brow in your direction, an expression on his face you couldn’t read and you almost groaned in annoyance from how calm he was being about the entire thing. You kept waiting for him to lash out at you and yell about your weirdness, maybe even call your parents and demand Jiwoo came instead of you.

“I don’t think it’s weird.” Instead he was saying this and shifting so his arms were resting on the back of the tub, lifting his torso out of the water more and giving you a better view of the wet streaks going down his neck and past his adams apple. “Unless you didn’t mean it.”

“I meant it.” Your voice was coming out rushed and your eyes were widening a bit, mentally cursing yourself for being so eager to reassure him.

He hummed softly like he had earlier and your stomach flipped again with nerves.

It wasn’t missing you that this was completely out of character for you and totally ironic but you were only human and as much as you disliked him as a person, you couldn’t deny how good he looked with damp hair and his tan skin lit up by the LED’s of the hot tub. He was sexy and always had been despite how much you wished that wasn’t true, and now you were alone.

So you tried to ignore your long history with him as you shifted through the water so you were closer to his side, only a quarter of the way to him now instead of being directly across from you.

He watched you silently for a few beats before he was scoffing and shaking his head like he was judging you, causing your eyebrows to furrow tightly as you stopped moving closer to him.

“What?” You felt embarrassed suddenly at your assumption and prepared yourself for him to make fun of you again, scold you for ever thinking he’d want you closer to him just because he hadn’t made you feel weird about your admission.

“Nothing. I just should have known you liked me.” He was laughing to himself slightly like it was the funniest thing in the world, not at all discouraged by the glare you were sending him. “You totally followed me around all the time, plus you always had that look in your eyes.”

“I do not have a look.” You hissed at him with a sharp voice and this seemed to amuse him even further. “And I never said I liked you don’t be stupid, I just think you’re hot.”

His eyebrows raised up high and his eyes widened in amusement, catching your slip of the tongue as you aggressively spat the words at him. “Oh see you said attractive, didn’t know you found me hot too.”

He was clearly having fun with the whole embarrassing situation and you gave up quickly, leaning against the back of the tub behind you and frowning with your arms crossed under the water in front of you. You stared ahead of you at the bubbles and tried to tune out his low chuckles.

“Don’t get pissy about it.” His voice was filtering over the running jets again and you glanced at him from the side of your eye, surprised to see something that slightly resembled guilt on his face. “If it makes you feel any better… I think you’re hot too.”

This made the corner of your lips turn up into a small smile,something very rarely ever sent in his direction from you. You turned your body to face him again and leaned forward with interest.

“So you lied earlier.” Your voice was more excited than you wished it was but you didn’t fully care, sitting up on your knees a bit. His gaze was dropping down to your chest before meeting your eyes again, losing all traces of humor now that more of your skin was visible.

“Yeah. I lied.” He confirmed in a lower tone and your smile fell slightly, suddenly nervous again. You were used to how he was acting a few seconds ago, making fun of you and feeling angry and embarrassed around him but this was a side of him you had no history with outside of watching him flirt with girls at parties Jiwoo forced him to bring you both along to.

That didn’t stop your body from naturally moving closer to him, drifting along the bench until you were right beside him and you could feel his thigh pressed up against your knee.

Your mouth was parted softly to try to keep breathing around the hot steam and his eyes were seemingly transfixed on it, watching your lips as you wet them instinctively and remaining on them even when your tongue was slipping back into your mouth. You could feel his breath on your face and it struck you that you’d never been this close to him before.

His face was leveled with yours for once since you were still perched up on your knees and he was sitting normally, minimizing the usually very apparent height difference.

He hadn’t touched you or even moved at all but you could feel his skin next to yours and you were hyper aware of his every movement, the subtle rise and fall of his built chest and the way his throat moved with every deep inhale he took. He seemed to be showing some restraint and that made you shift impatiently, teetering towards him until your shoulder was brushing against his.

His eyes shut tightly for a second when he felt your bare skin touching his, mumbling something under his breath before he was looking at you again.

This time his gaze was going all around your face instead of just focusing on your lips, even dropping back down to your bare shoulders and the way your wet hair was sticking to the skin of your neck. He scanned down past your chest to where the rest of your span of skin disappeared under the water.

“Hee.” Your voice was breathy as you finally spoke and instead of cutting the tense moment, it only worsened it and you felt your thighs pressing together again like they had at the dinner table. This time he could clearly see the movement past the bubbles and he stiffened a bit. “Can you touch me Hee?”

You watched him tense even more at the sound of your whiny voice using his nickname, one you didn’t say nearly as much as your friends and family.

He didn’t reject you even though you were starting to think he might considering how restricted he look, instead he was lifting his hand out from under the water and cupping it around your jaw softly. You could feel his thumb rubbing along your cheek, the water from his arm rolling down your neck and disappearing back into the pool of it.

It was almost embarrassing how much it affected you to be touched by him so intimately and the urge to kiss him was too overwhelming, a dizziness settling in from both the heat and the longing sitting harshly in your stomach.

You were so close to each other that you could feel his lips brushing against yours, not quite kissing considering he was rocking softly backwards every few breaths and holding your face tightly so you couldn’t surge forward and get it over with.

Heeseung definitely wasn’t letting go of his habit of teasing you but this felt particularly cruel and prolonged.

“That what you want? Want me to touch you?” His tone was meaner than you expected it to be but you didn’t exactly mind, at all apparently considering the shiver it sent down your back. He was clearly making fun of you and your desperation but if he touched you, you knew you wouldn’t be able to find it in yourself to care.

So you took a deep shaky breath and nodded your head as much as you could while he still held your face, moving your hand so it was touching his bare knee.

Your action took him off guard enough that he lessened his grip for a split second but it was long enough for you to lean forward and press your lips against his for just a second, barely feeling them on yours before he was pushing you back again and your hand was impatiently squeezing his knee.

Another embarrassing whine came from deep in your throat and his eyes flashed with something for a second before he let out another soft hum.

“Can’t do that baby.” He was so close that his lips pressed against yours as he spoke and you completely froze up once his words made sense to your lust dazed brain, just barely processing his rejection before he was letting go of your face and leaning away from you.

You did nothing but watch him in horrified shock as he stood out of the water and left the hot tub, weirdly calm even when your gaze was locking on his bare torso.

He was leaving casually like he hadn’t just did the worst thing you could possibly imagine and you felt hot wet tears of anger spreading rising quickly, completely humiliated and swiftly reminded on why you hated Lee Heeseung so much.

——

As the days continued passing with awkward avoidance on both of your ends, you were struck with the fact that maybe you didn’t hate him as much as you always thought you did.

You’d actually admired Heeseung at points considering he was the oldest out of the three of you and continuously setting a good example despite all the pressure. Some nights you’d leave a heated argument with him and head back inside your own home, laying on your bed with a racing heart and a scowl fixed in your features.

Then you’d hear the strumming of his guitar coming from his house, window wide open and directly across from yours.

The first few times you’d put in your headphones or let out an annoyed shriek as you slammed yours shut, trying your best to tune him out and erase his existence from your mind ; out of sight out of mind.

Eventually you got tired of pretending you weren’t impressed by how smoothly the chords carried over to you, how swiftly he must be moving his hands to produce something so soft and gentle. You’d let it carry you to sleep and for a moment you felt like you were experiencing something together.

You were more naive then, tricked into thinking he ever cared about you enough to even know you were listening, childish and stupid to possibly hope he might’ve been playing for you.

Some sort of apology.

He never was and he made that very clear to you and eventually your embarrassment and shame turned to hide behind anger. It was easier to fight with him, to scream and yell, than to admit that he was hurting your feelings and lowering your ego everytime he treated you so harshly.

The entire situation was extremely frustrating and annoying, almost (but not quite) as annoying as the continuous banging happening directly under your head for the past hours.

With a loud groan, you were getting out of bed and deciding to end your moping abruptly, heading downstairs to see what the workers Heeseung had hired were doing that made that much noise. You slowed your steps as you descended down the stairs, realizing there was a lot more men in your second home than you’d originally expected and they were all moving around at a fast and busy pace.

You’d just barely managed to dodge one of them, carrying a large amount of… something, as you reached the bottom step but in your attempt to move out of the way you were running into an abandoned tool box and spiraling in the other direction.

Your eyes had squeezed shut and your body tensed bracing for an impact that never came, instead feeling yourself smack into someone’s strong and sturdy frame.

“You alright?” You quickly shot open your eyelids to see who it was you’d fallen into, turning red in the face at the concerned look the man holding you was sending down in your direction, still holding you softly and giving your arms a slight squeeze like he was trying to get you to focus.

He watched as you nodded your head softly with wide eyes, helping you steady yourself back on your feet but still holding onto your upper arms like he was worried you’d fall again.

You took the opportunity to scan over his body and your face flushed a bit more at the sheer size of the man and his extremely toned arms, looking away quickly to focus on his feet between yours instead. Heeseung was definitely a large guy too and nearly towered over you but you imagined he’d look tiny in comparison to the one in front of you.

“You sure you’re okay? You look a little red.” He was speaking again in a soft voice that directly opposed his look and you snapped out of your random thoughts about Heeseung.

“I’m okay I promise.” You were nodding quickly and giving him a soft smile, hoping you were convincing enough to make him believe you definitely didn’t need any type of medical attention just because you’d tripped over a box. “Just startled me a little. Thanks for catching me….”

You trailed off while watching him and it took him a few seconds to understand what you were looking for, a bright smile on his face once he realized and filled in the gaps. “Namjoon.”

“Well thank you Namjoon.” His name was rolling off your tongue smoothly and his smile suddenly looked a lot more like a smirk making you a lot more aware of the fact he was still holding onto your arms and standing close to you.

He didn’t get a chance to reply considering the loud sound of someone aggressively clearing their throat was coming from next to the two of you, both your heads turning to see who it was and it was almost comical the way you froze up in sync with each other.

“Shouldn’t you be getting back to work now Kim?” Heeseung’s tone was stiff but you could feel the underlying threat in his words and the man across from you definitely could considering he was immediately letting go of you and taking a few rushed steps backwards, mumbling a goodbye to you before he was disappearing into the kitchen to find a task to complete.

Your shoulders slumped at the interruption but your heart was beating fast looking at Heeseung next to you, recognizing the expression on his face even though it was subtle.

He was absolutely furious, the type of anger that typically caused you to end arguments early or completely stay out of his way. When he got like this you knew it wasn’t the time to poke fun at him or start up any banter, his entire aura becoming a lot darker and less forgiving.

You’d fought with him like this a few times, realizing a little too late that he was in one of his moods and it was those times that he had said the worst things. Things that made the family and friends around you gasp even though they were used to your rivalry, things that caused tears to spring to your eyes as you stormed off to a different room.

“Let’s go.” He was saying it calmly but you felt a chill run over you as he stared at you with fury and disgust, reluctantly following behind him as he left the main living space and entered a small hallway just next to it.

You hadn’t even gotten the chance to explain before he was abruptly turning around and facing you, taking a few harsh steps in your direction until you were backing up and slamming into the wall behind you. Your eyes widened in surprise and slight fear, not understanding why he was suddenly cornering you.

Heeseung moved forward until he was pressing against your body and now your emotions were abruptly changing as you realized what was happening, a wave of heat rushing through you at the feeling of his front leaning onto you.

You were slightly embarrassed he most likely could feel how fast your heart was beating but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care once he was reaching up to grip your face, a lot less gentle than he had earlier in the week when you thought he was going to kiss you.

“So I don’t give you the attention you were begging for and now you’re flirting with the first guy you find?” His voice was low and harsh, completely demeaning you and still watching you with hatred in his eyes.

You hated how much this drove you crazy, the urge for him to berate you and make you apologize for what you had accidentally done arising quicker than you’d even knew had existed and you were a bit dizzy from how much you wanted this.

“Please.” It was rolling off your tongue before you’d realized you were saying it and you barely recognized your own voice, breathy and begging for something you didn’t even understand. His eyes got even darker, if it was even possible, and your stomach lit up with a desperate heat.

“Pisses me off so bad when you do that.” He was practically hissing it at you, voice a low whisper and his hand around your jaw tightened, leaning in so he was speaking to your ear. “Stop being so fucking dumb and use your words.”

You tried to get ahold of yourself enough to find the right sentence to tell him what you want but your mind was completely blank, instead deciding to just arch your back off the wall so you were pressing tighter against him.

Heeseung faltered a bit and his eyes dropped down towards where your stomachs met, watching as you tried your best to roll your hips up to meet his but failed to actually get any sort of relief for yourself.

“Just fucking touch me.” You were finally gasping the words out through clenched teeth and he didn’t waste any time thankfully, surging forward and surprising you by kissing you deeply.

His tongue was pushing into your mouth before you even processed the fact he was actually kissing you and you were letting out a satisfied groan against his lips, letting him lick into your mouth softly and play with his tongue against yours. His hand was wrapping around your lower back and tugging you forward so you were pressing against him the way you wanted to.

A wave of desire ripped through you feeling that he was hard against you and you snuck your hand in between the tight space of your bodies and palmed him through his shorts, smiling at the way he sucked in a sharp breath and stopped kissing you for a second.

Your smile was dropping when he was meeting your eyes and looking ten times more deadly than he did in a daily basis, still glaring at you like he always did but with tenfold the usual fire and tension. That didn’t stop him from pushing his hips against your seeking hand for a few seconds, eventually stopping and letting out a groan as he snatched your wrist off of him and pinned it against the wall behind you instead.

He was rutting into you so hard that you were almost worried the rough materiel of the wall behind you was going cut your back, completely forgetting about it half a second later when he was pressing himself perfectly against your sensitive lower half.

“Keep your fucking mouth shut.” His voice was dangerously low in your ear and you could feel him taking heavy breaths against your neck, panting to try and keep himself quiet.

You were nodding quickly at his command despite the fact he couldn’t see you, curling your hand tightly in his hair and spreading your legs wider so he could continue to slot himself between them and give you just a taste of relief. He immediately took the silent invitation and shifted his hips against yours more, almost bordering painful if it wasn’t so addicting to feel him this way.

Heeseung was clearly struggling to control himself and you couldn’t recall ever feeling this needy for anybody before, something about how forbidden the entire situation was mixed with the life of tension and anger was driving you absolutely insane and you didn’t seem to be alone in it.

“You want me to fuck you here?” He was picking his face up out of your neck to look down at you and check your reaction, his eyes hazy and dark with his lips parted and swollen like he’d been chewing on them. “Where anyone can hear you begging for me?”

“Who said I’m going to beg?” You were trying to snap back at him but your voice came out weak, nearly a desperate whine that got louder when he was shifting against you again.

“Sure seems like it, the way you’re spreading your legs for me already.” His big hand was sliding down past your waist and cupping underneath your bare knee, hiking your leg up harder and rolling his hips against you so deliciously you nearly collapsed as a stuttered moan ripped through you.

You immediately took your hand out of his hair and covered your mouth with it, eyes rolling back a bit at the feeling of him shifting his hips against you and practically dry humping you right there against the wall.

Knowing that the house workers were only a few feet away and walking around completely clueless about what they might walk into was only making you more desperate for him and you didn’t care how out of character it was for you. At this point you would be willingly to let him take you in front of anybody who wanted to watch, leave you shaking and crying for him in public.

He didn’t need to hear you say it to know this, a cocky look on his face underneath the fucked out expression he already had.

“Always running this pretty mouth.” He was speaking again in that same low tone but he seemed completely out of it, almost like he was talking to himself and not you. His free hand was gripping your face, squishing your cheeks together so your lips were puffed out and your eyes were wide. “Should’ve known you wanted me to stuff it.”

An embarrassing wave of want washed over you again at his words, nearly drooling at the thought of him shoving his cock in your mouth to get you to stop back talking. It would’ve felt more humiliating if it wasn’t for the way his eyes were completely frozen on your mouth like he was thinking the exact same thing.

You couldn’t resist the urge to tease him more and your tongue was sticking out softly before you’d even realized you were doing it, causing him to loosen his rough grip on your face a bit to allow for it to push past your lips. You were staring up at him with big wet eyes and your tongue on display, silent waiting and begging for something you hoped he’d understand.

Thankfully he did and he was only hesitating for half a second before he was picking his head up more and spitting down into your mouth.

Heeseung didn’t even give you a chance to swallow before he was following the spit with his tongue, licking along yours and cleaning up his own mess before you were pulling him back into a kiss and sucking him deeper and deeper into your mouth. It was completely filthy, the nastiest kiss you’d ever shared with somebody and you were terrified you’d become addicted to the feeling of his spit on your chin.

“Please Hee.” You were gasping out into his mouth, reaching up to tug on his hair again and get his attention locked on you and your request. “Need you to fuck me.”

For the first time since you’d started, he actually looked hesitant. He glanced down the hallway towards where the dozen of workers were and your heart dropped to your stomach thinking he was going to stop what you were doing, even if it was just to take you upstairs to a bedroom. You couldn’t handle the idea of separating for even a second and you were spreading your legs impossibly wider and touching his face with your shaky hand.

He glanced back at you in question and his eyes darkened again seeing the pure disgusting need on your face.

“You’re stupid if you think I’d fuck you like this.” He was shaking his head in anger and taking a step away from you, one that immediately had your body tensing and your heart aching in upset.

You were instinctively reaching out to try and grab onto him, just about ready to get down on your knees and beg him not to leave you at the peak of your high like that. But the empty look in his eyes made you rethink that decision and you just stood there in shock as he gave you one more angry glare before he was exiting the hallway and leaving you alone inside of it.

It was even more pathetic considering the way your entire body slumped against the wall before sliding down it and ending up on the floor with humiliation completely smothering you, knowing you only had a few breaths to wallow in your embarrassment before needing to get up and go back to your room.

—

You’d completely retracted back to your bed again after that and this time not even the smell of food or the sound of annoying construction could get you to go back downstairs and risk running into him.

Jiwoo had called you three times every hour before she finally gave up and instead sent a thread of text messages that you promptly ignored. You were overly paranoid that she’d find out what had happened, like even the sound of your voice would give away the fact you’d made out with her brother since she last heard from you.

If you hadn’t hated him fully before than you definitely did now because there was no way you’d still want Lee Heeseung after he embarrassed you like this.

You didn’t think he would tell anybody considering he’d get just as much heat for it as you would, if not worse since he was older and supposed to be taking care of you and his sister at all times in your parents minds. But the interaction staying a secret was almost worse in your mind, a private thing between you and him.

Nothing could have convinced you to leave the comfort of your familiar bed until the wind of the sea lightly blew back the curtains and gave you a small glimpse of the sunset raging outside.

You let out a big breathy sigh, realizing now how much time you’d been wasting moping around about a stupid boy when this was your last summer ever getting to experience sunsets this bright and air this fresh. Heeseung definitely wasn’t sat in his room caring about you and how he hurt you so why should you be?

It was almost completely dark by the time you made it down to the beach but you didn’t regret coming, the lake looking long and endless now that you couldn’t see the other side.

You remember it seeming a lot scarier when you were a kid, before you’d ever seen the real sea and back when you and Jiwoo used to dare each other to swim out as far as you could before seaweed grabbed at your ankles and spooked you back to shore.

Your heart ached with how much you missed her and you were pulling your phone out of your pocket and putting it to your ear without another breath, playing in the sand with your free hand while you anxiously waited for her to pick up and talk to you. You didn’t have to wait long considering she was answering after the second ring and you let out a breath of relief.

“Finally, I was starting to think you’d really killed eachother.” Her voice was sweet as ever and a wave of fondness and nostalgia hit you even harder, laughing softly but not fully answering her yet.

For some reason the sound of her light joking mixed with the waves from her side of the phone was bringing tears to your eyes and you didn’t need to say anything for her to understand you were feeling something heavy. You both stayed silent and you hoped she figured you were just upset about leaving the lake house behind and didn’t create her usual conspiracy theories.

“You okay over there? I can come early if you need me to.” Your friend was doing her best to reassure you without knowing why you were upset and you wiped your now running tears with your sleeve.

“I’m alright, just feeling a lot of things right now I think. Are you having fun?” You weren’t exactly lying in your answer which was good considering you didn’t want to lie to her anymore than you already had to.

“I’d be having more if you were with me but you already know that. Can’t believe my brother gets to spend more time with you than I do.”

Your heart sunk a little at the mention of the exact reason you were crying and you were sure how to respond to her without giving too much away. She could read you even over the phone so you knew she might’ve felt the energy shift now that she’d brought her brother up, sniffling a bit and letting the sand run through your fingers.

She talked a bit more about her vacation and how much fun being at the sea was after so long and you listened to her excitedly chatter, letting out soft hums every once in awhile to assure her you were still listening.

You actually were but a large part of you was still thinking about Heeseung and what he might be doing back up the hill inside the lake house. You wondered if he felt guilty for you hiding in your room or if he had even realized you weren’t inside anymore.

Jiwoo was eventually bidding you a goodnight and making you promise to answer her the next time she called on the first ring, sounding a bit heavier when she was saying goodbye and hanging up the phone. You hated that you didn’t feel the typical happy buzz that your bestfriend typically brought and more tears made their way down your cheeks.

You sat like that on the shore for another hour, watching the waves roll and crash onto the sand just a few feet away from where you were sitting.

It was putting you in a sort of trance, so many thoughts running through your head that you weren’t even able to pinpoint where one started and another ended.

You were so deep in your own head that you didn’t at all hear the calls of your name from up the hill, starting off mildly confused and concerned but escalating to full on desperate and panicky shout when they were met with no response. You certainly didn’t hear the footsteps coming down the large wooden steps from the back deck or when he breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing you on the beach.

“There you are.” Your back tensed at the sound of his voice and the soft tone in which he mumbled the words. “I thought for a second you’d gone back home.”

He was coming to sit beside you on the sand, just close enough where you could feel his body beside yours and the wind carried over his familiar scent but still too far to touch.

Which was for the better in your opinion.

You ignored him even though you could sense his stare on the side of your face and embarrassment was hitting you in rough rolling waves, hoping that the moonlight wasn’t quite bright enough to give away the large tear streaks down your cheeks or how red your nose had gotten from crying.

“Hey, I’m sorry about earlier.” His voice was still soft which was doing absolutely terrible things to your heart and you shook your head slightly, pulling your lip between your teeth to stop yourself from letting out another sob. “I’m sorry about everything in general.”

He was turning to face you more and you braved up enough to spare him even the slightest glance, seeing pure guilt and turmoil on his face.

Meeting your gaze was enough for him to realize how upset you truly were and he was sighing before scooting closer to you in the sand and putting one of his warm hands on your bare arm, now cold from sitting out in the wind for so long. You instinctively leaned into his touch and his other hand gently gripped the side of your face so you couldn’t look away again.

It was such a jarring difference from how he’d touched you earlier, from how he touched you your entire life actually.

“I didn’t mean to be so mean so you or leave you there like that I just… I just panicked I think.” He was rambling now and stuttering through his words, something you knew he often did whenever he got in trouble when you were younger. “You think about something happening for so long and then it actually does and it’s so much more different than you thought, n-not that it wasn’t good I just mean that…”

He trailed off and sighed again and you squeezed your eyes shut to try and ignore the desperate urge to just kiss him and shut him up.

You knew you needed to hear whatever he had to say and he definitely needed to say it, he long overdue owed you a few hundred apologies and it was a lot more than the fact he’d left you high and dry earlier.

It was all the times he glare at you and stolen a smile off your face and every argument you ever had that left you stricken with angry tears and storming out of a room, the embarrassment of being told off at his graduation party and even worse the fact he didn’t kiss you until he was driven by jealously.

“I’m just so sorry.” He seemed like he was ending his monologue there and you gave him a heavy look, slightly nuzzling into his hand before placing your own over it. “Say something please?”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.” Your words were more honest than you expected them to be but his eyes softened when your voice came out weak and croaky, the full expanse of your hurt getting more obvious by the second. “I’m just confused.”

You were turning slightly so you were facing him more and you were certain the two of you looked a bit ridiculous, sitting criss crossed directly opposite of each other with your knees touching and his hand holding your face still, only moving to push some of your hair out of your face.

“I am too.” He was whispering now and you felt the full effect of it low in your stomach, a soft smile on his face now that you were opening up to him a bit more.

Heeseung had never left your life and it was a lot easier to list out all the terrible moments you’d had with him over the softer times, glimpses of days where he’d had a smile just like this wether it was in your direction or not.

He’d been there every time you called for a ride even if he complained about it most of the way home and you’d never stopped listening in extra hard whenever you heard his sweet dorky laugh coming from a few rooms over. You must have been blind to what your mothers had clearly started seeing a long time ago but little things this summer had made you reconsider how deep your dislike for each other goes.

You’d long hesitated to fight with him, starting to rethink your quick jabs and your constant attitude whenever he walked into a room and clearly he’d picked up on more than you ever realized, obvious by him so easily knowing your comfort snacks or the way to calm you down.

“You know,” Your eyes snapped back up to his when he started to speak in a low voice as you waited to hear what he had to say. He looked a bit nervous, like he was about to confess something and you gave him your full attention. “When we used to fight as teenagers, I’d always feel so terrible for making you storm home. Even started playing guitar with my window open so you could hear it.”

Your entire world view shattered just off of that simple admission alone and a heavy sob interrupted whatever else he was going to say, his eyes widening in surprise for just a moment before you were leaning over onto him fully and throwing yourself into a tight hug.

He eagerly accepted although not understanding the true weight he’d just released from your shoulders and you felt him let out a big breath of relief now that you were in his arms, his hands rubbing up and down your back as you cried softly.

You didn’t need to hear him say that he felt the same way that you did, as confusing and scary as it was after projecting your anger onto each other for so long. Your heart tore up thinking about that young girl in her bedroom just holding onto the silly childish hope that the boy next door was actually playing for her, now knowing it wasn’t foolish at all and he’d been right there hoping she was listening.

It hurt you to think about how much time you’d wasted carrying on a childish feud and how whatever this was had started off being such a disaster of jealously and toxic back and forth.

But you were immediately soothed by the never wavering feeling of his arms wrapped tightly around you and the gentle sound of the waves crashing on the shore, spending one last summer on the beach that raised you and creating your first one with the boy you loved.

[azulhood]

Jazz was, at her core, a pessimist.

Oh sure, she wanted the best outcomes and strived to always see the best in people. But listening to her parents talk about and share crime scene photos of someone who was brutally murdered and who may haunt the place they were headed to while true crime podcasts played instead of road trip tunes as they traveled to whatever graveyard had caught their interest had dulled young Jazz's faith in humanity.

Jazz still had memories of a young her standing in an abandoned insane asylum (or abandoned hospital, or old house, or graveyard, or whatever place they dragged her too) holding a small torch with shaky hands and begging to leave because she was terrified "Can we go? Please? this place is scaring me" only to be told "In a minute Jazzy, we down want the ghost getting away."

They had settled down after Danny was born, choosing to stay in one placed instead of traveling all over the country. She still expected them to unexpectedly announce that they were going on the road again, she had plans in case they did (saying she'd stay behind with the van to take care of Danny was better then both of them getting used as ghost bait) But surprisingly they didn't.

And Jazz was thrilled. Sure, she and Danny were known as the kids of the towns crazy ghosthunters, and sure, she basically had to raise her brother since her parents would rarely leave their lab let alone focus on something not ghost related, and yes, she did have to carefully plan out how to use the family's money so that none of them starved.

But no more sleeping in cheap hotels or their van, no more making friends at playgrounds that she'd never see the next day, no more countless hours spent in places where people died, no more English lessons while on the road. She went to school now, she had friends that she saw more than once, she had a home that wasn't filled with cockroaches and the sounds of a argument from the room next door. She had a semi-normal life.

In this time of normality, she relaxed, she let her guard down. Then Danny died and only came back halfway.

And Jazz was back to being that little girl who was scared of ghosts, only this time she was scared for a ghost.

Danny didn't tell her at first, and even though it hurt she understood, and so while she waited for him to tell her, she planned.

She took job after job, from mowing someone's lawn to working at a checkout. Money had been put aside in bags filled with clothes and a pair of new id that she had gotten from Tucker, ("Just in case our parents get classified as supervillains and we need to flee" She said not giving anyway that she knew of Danny's ghostly problem, Tucker had made the id anyway even if he thought she was joking and did not in fact have a plan should that situation happen) One of their neighbors was willing to let her buy their old car despite her family's driving history. A safe house (more like safe apartment) was bought in the only place that was willing to let a teen buy property, Gotham City.

Danny fought numerous enemies until the only enemy that was left was telling their ghost hunter parents that their son was half dead.

Compared to her, Danny was an optimist, seeing the best in everyone without even having to try like she did. Believing that the best would happen like if he didn't, he would break into a million pieces and not know how to put himself together again.

Even though he was scared Danny believed that their parents wouldn't react badly, Jazz hoped they wouldn't but was prepared if they did.

And finally, after many nights spent wide awake in case her parents tried to rip Danny apart molecule by molecule while she slept, the shoe dropped. Their parents loved them, but their work came first, it always came first. Jazz loved her parents, she truly did, but she loved Danny more. And in the end, that made her choice of driving all the way to Gotham with nothing but their go bags all the more easier.

And that was how Jazz and Danny ended up as the neighbors of one Jason Todd.

[gatitties]

Web of love

─Yandere!Jujutsu Kaisen x fem!reader (platonic)

─Summary: you just keep adding lunatics to the list like they're pokemon and you lose patience

─Warnings: mahito (he's a warning himself yeh) blood, death, a little anxiety attack, toxic behaviors, obsession, yandere stuff

Part One / Part Three / Part Four

The blank pages: Part One

I'm done downloading my inspiration on this for now, I feel like this is a little longer, sorryyy 😶

YOU WERE too quick to accept that these sorcerers would do whatever they wanted with you, but in a way, starting a verbal fight to refuse to do certain quests would cause you more problems than solutions, so you were just like a body empty of soul moving back and forth, simply waiting for the next order to complete it as quickly as possible.

The worst thing of all was that it wasn't annoying, at least, not the fact of taking orders, you liked it, you didn't have to think too much, just do this and that, you definitely started to think that all those tests of 'are you a leader or a follower' made sense all those times that your result was being a follower, you wanted an easy life and being a leader of anything is a complete stress that you were not going to go through.

So your simplistic and conformist personality only made it easier for all those sorcerers to mold you to their liking, this does not mean that whenever they asked to spend time with you or simply be attached to you you accepted, they would always have a negative response at first, however if they continued insisting, as may be the case with Itadori and Nobara, you would agree to do what they wanted, because accepting is easier than declining. Megumi and Gojo weren't as persistent in asking for small favors or bonding time, which you appreciated.

"I was looking for you, Maki and I are going to go downtown to look for some cursed weapons, do you want to come?"

Nobara, getting into the bad habit of not knocking on your door and entering without permission, throw herself at your bed grabbing your hand to beg you to go out with her and Maki, knowing that you would refuse she started whining about how you hadn't left your room lately and that she had been very busy with the missions. With no other option you accepted, hoping to be able to get back to what you were doing later in the night.

You thanked the heavens that Maki Zenin was skeptical about your stay at the Jujutsu school, since you did not show any interest in developing cursed techniques or improving physical abilities, she thought that you were not important enough, a shame that Nobara had to drag you with her long enough for Maki to end up getting attached to you, you barely talked to her but for some reason she ended up liking you.

"Come on, we don't have all afternoon."

Maki began to walk waiting for you both to follow her steps, a couple of minutes later the two of them began a light idle chat while you followed behind, only with one of your headphones on in case they spoke to you at some point.

"Be careful, you should stop looking at your phone and look at your surroundings, you are so careless."

The girl with glasses grabbed the back of the collar of your uniform to stop you just before you crossed a red zebra crossing for pedestrians, you watched for a moment as the cars sped by just a few centimeters from you with blank eyes.

"Yeah, I'm sorry."

You shrugged, putting away your phone like a scolded child, Nobara took the liberty of grabbing your hand to guide you the rest of the way, at least you could walk looking absent-mindedly at anything that caught your attention without worrying about tripping.

Disinterested and bored once they started negotiating about the cursed weapons, you decided that you could go out for a few minutes without anyone noticing to the bakery you had seen around the corner, you felt like something sweet, you were going to buy something sweet and no one will stop you. Unfortunately before you could get out of the alley, because of course, a shop like that wasn't going to be visible to everyone, once again a curse clung to you desperately to be forgiven.

"Not now please."

You took a couple of minutes to release the cursed energy of that curse, feeling your eyelids heavier and your body more relaxed, of course your ability had cons, after all what you were doing was consuming cursed energy, your way of releasing it were resting, which led you to sometimes fall asleep even standing up due to exhaustion.

Your slight drowsiness disappeared when you heard the sewer besides you sliding with a squeak, a strange mass began to come out until it formed a guy who looked like a sewn doll, his bicolor eyes looked into your soul.

"That was very interesting, where is that curse? Did you absorb it? Did you kill it?"

Your parents had taught you that you shouldn't talk to strangers, especially if they seemed like lunatics who could deform and come out of random sewers, and like a good mom and dad's girl, you looked away, backing away to exit through the other side of the alley, but he managed to grab your wrist so you wouldn't run away.

"It's rude to ignore someone when they speak, you know?"

You frowned looking at his hand on you, remaining silent, you let out an inaudible sigh, you always had to end up in this type of situation, tangled with people ─in this case curses─ that trapped you without wanting to let go.

"I sent it to rot in hell, its soul will remain suffering until eternity, remembering and regretting all the evils it has caused, it will be subjected to the worst tortures imaginable."

He remained silent before bursting into laughter, you had said all that so seriously, with that grim face that he almost believed it, you hoped that trying to 'scare' him would work, but this curse had at least a couple more neurons than the ones you used to meet.

"Aren't you funny? It's a shame I have to kill you, I thought we could be friends but you're-"

The ground began to shake, almost losing your balance, you took advantage of the sudden distraction to free yourself from Mahito's grip, approaching the nearest wall so as not to fall due to the tremors, the sewer flew away and you could see how the curse paled, transforming again to escape.

"How many hours have I lost in this chase?"

A new voice came out of nowhere, turning around you saw a blonde man with glasses, he was wearing a uniform and had a blood stained weapon in one of his hands, you looked at each other in silence until he spoke again.

"A student… hey, have you seen that curse? Where did he flee?"

Figuring he was trustworthy enough since he seemed to recognize the Jujutsu high, you silently pointed in the direction Mahito left, earning a nod from him to leave you there alone again. As if that weren't enough, before you could leave the alley to get some sweet, you ran into another curse, this one looked like a volcano with only one eye, it was petting a stray cat while muttering things like 'you're a good boy' in a squeaky voice, you were going to turn around to make this less awkward but your bones had to make that weird sound sometimes when you walk.

His one eye widened at the sight of you, a small rash erupting from his head and he shot up at the speed of light.

"I'll pretend I haven't seen anything if you pretend you haven't seen me."

You decided to reach a mutual agreement because you heard Nobara shout your name, surely they had finished their purchase or had been alerted by the noise earlier, and if they found you now they would surely distract you enough that you wouldn't be able to buy your candy. You took enough time to complete your little mission, as just as you left the bakery you were approached by the red-haired girl who hugged you like a whimpering koala.

"You can't disappear like that out of nowhere! We heard a shaking and thought something bad had happened to you."

She rubbed her cheek against your shoulder, you murmured apologies while still savoring your sweet, Maki remained silent watching the interaction, carefully searching for any kind of scratch or wound on your body, she sighed in relief when she saw that you didn't seem to have anything.

"We have already spent a lot of time here, we should go back, Toge and Panda are waiting for us for our training."

The encounter with these two curses, Mahito and Jogo, was only a small trigger that led you to strangely meet them more times later, you were never close of course, but your eyes always seemed to meet the multicolored or the single eye of those guys in some bustling part of the city, you knew they had some plan with Itadori, but it's not like you could do anything, you just alerted Gojo and he thanked you with a few pats on the head for the information.

On the other hand, you became a recurring conversation on the side of the villains, for one reason or another, everyone got to know you, either because Mahito was talking about you or because you had an encounter with Geto or Choso, not knowing them, you felt strange when you exchanged glances with them because you felt the same as when you first met the trio of sorceres, they already knew you before you knew anything about them.

Their curiosity about you was only based on overprotectiveness and how obsessed the sorcerers were with you, you seemed to be an important person, was it because of your power? Was it because of your cursed technique? It was something they wanted to find out and anyway if it was nothing like that, they could always use you as a wild card to blackmail them.

You decided to ignore their presence while you worked on your assignments, assignments in which you got to know that blonde guy, Nanami, he was assigned with you for a couple of missions and at first he felt quite irritated by your carefree behavior and even annoyed by your lack of interest in the work, but he couldn't blame you, in his eyes, like Itadori, you were just a teenager who shouldn't be doing this kind of work. He proposed to himself that no student was going to die under his care, especially someone who was never in favor of being part of the cursed world.

You just kept adding people who were worried or interested in you to the list, and you thought that there was no one else who could feel that way, that you could finally breathe easy, that you could stop moving through that web that kept you captive, that you could snuggling in your sheets protecting yourself from the cold while you hugged a pillow and slept carefree.

And… out of nowhere you wake up with a wet cheek, an eternal sea of blood where you could float, in the distance a temple made up of different animal and human bones. Your eyes became slightly watery, your only moment of rest ruined by whatever was happening, you were upset, furious, maybe it was the first time since you left home you felt an emotion this strong and vivid.

"This has to be a fucking joke…"

You mumble walking towards the temple hoping to find some kind of answer to get out of there, you wanted your hours of sleep back, you wanted to disconnect your brain from reality and travel to your dreams seeking solace outside of this world, not to be trapped in this stupid place.

"This is unusual, how did you manage to get here, brat?"

You rubbed your face furiously, of course you had heard about Sukuna, how Itadori swallowed a fucking finger, but luckily you didn't have any encounter with the king of curses, until now. Again it seemed like he already knew you, but how could he not? You occupied more than half of Itadori's thoughts.

"That's what I would like to know, is this your domain? Get me out of here."

"I can't."

You couldn't contain the irritated grimace you made, this time your expressionlessness broke as well as your patience, a small twitch appeared in your eye and you began to breathe harder, you rubbed your head too hard, perhaps tearing out a few strands in the process, but you didn't care, you exploded after putting up with so much shit.

"Tell me it's a joke, you're the king of curses, not the king of comedians, get me out of here."

Your tone of voice stopped being monotonous, now radiating annoyance and demand that made Sukuna smile at your outburst, he had always heard Itadori complain about how unexpressive you were with them and now you are exploiting a lot of negative emotions.

"Well, I can do that, but for that I would have to kill you."

"Do it." you didn't take a second or hesitate to respond, almost surprising the man, who watched you in silence as you approached him, your frown more with every step you took "What the hell are you waiting for? Do it, kill me."

Sukuna had seen many people begging him, begging for lives, begging to end suffering, it wasn't even the first time they had begged him for a death, but this felt… strange, he had never seen someone so young desperate to die, he had never seen someone have the anxiety attack you were experiencing right now, and strangely he had never felt the kind of energy you gave off, it was somewhat reassuring. He began to understand all the macabre thoughts about you in Itadori's thoughts, all that overprotection and worry, or perhaps, he had gone crazy, becoming infected because of the human in which he was locked up.

"Mmmh, I can do it, but you will only wake up, if you have managed to get here without trying, you will surely come back when you try to sleep again, but it is only a theory, since you have never been here before."

"In that case I'll think of something, but let me wake up."

"Ok"

He shrugged with disinterest, you didn't even feel how his fist lodged in your abdomen, your body staggered towards his, while he held you with one of his arms, the other pulled out your heart that continued pumping blood, you looked in disgust as he seemed to enjoy watching the blood splash across his face.

"Son of a bitch with a fetish for dishearten people…"

It was the only thing you said before your body faded away, immediately waking up in your bed with labored breathing, you placed your hands on your heart, checking that it was still in place, beating rapidly from the agitation. That specific night you couldn't sleep, because by doing so you returned to Sukuna's domain, or to Itadori's mind, the problem was rooted in the fact that that specific day Itadori was much more worried about you than usual, generating a certain connection that interfered with his and your dreams, the middle ground being Sukuna's domain.

Now you couldn't even go to sleep thinking about having a good dream, because depending on the night you would end up stuck with the king of curses, another person added to the list, would this be some kind of divine punishment? You just want to run to your parents and hug them with all your might, for them to tell you that everything will be okay and that you are a good daughter, for the moment you will settle for hugging your cold pillow in search of comfort while three pairs of eyes watch as your emotions slowly deteriorates.

They would make sure to be the arms that keep you warm, to be the people you turn to in these types of situations, you shouldn't be sad, you are much better off here, more protected and safe.

"Good night darling, have sweet dreams."

Gojo, having shooed the other three students away from you, entered your room, gently wiping away the tears that stained your cheeks, he stroked your hair for a few seconds before brushing away a few strands and kissing your forehead. He hadn't had the chance to prove that he was capable of being a good father in Megumi's eyes, but he could be to you, it's a shame that you still cling to your parents as role models when he was there, he would be a better father figure, just wait.

[yougavemeyourheartyouknow]

It wasn’t over, it still isn’t over. (Bandit cowboy! Miguel O’Hara x Fem! Reader) Part 2

Wake up babe, new cowboy Miguel fic just dropped! This part was heavily inspired by the notebook. Period pieces are not my strong suit so apologizes if it’s not good. Not proofread, enjoy!

(Y/N)-Your name.

Cursing, mentions/usage of alcohol, attempted robbery/theft, mentions of guns, Miguel jokes about manhandling you but nothing actually happens, mentions of sexual acts, but nothing happens.

Word Count: 2.3k

Part 1

Masterlist

—

Five years.

Five years since you had last seen the cowboy who had stolen your heart.

You had graduated college and moved out of your parents home, moving a few towns over, nowhere near a big city like you lived in during your youth in the East but a lot larger than the one you had lived during the whole Miguel incident. You lived in a nice home, gotten a job as a teacher for the younger kids in town and… you were recently engaged.

Your fiancé was a nice man, sweet, understanding, kind, easy on the eyes, you liked him a lot, the only problem is, you didn’t love him. You should feel bad about getting married to a wealthy man who you didn’t even see as more than of a friend, but at the same time, your mother thought it would be best to marry you off to her friend’s son that just so happened to be inheriting his father’s liquor business when he settled down. It was a marriage of convenience if anything, at least he was polite with you despite neither you or him having any romantic feelings, if anything it made the whole thing a bit easier for you. Growing content with the fact that this would turn into your future children’s definition of love.

Five years to grow from a silly lovestruck teenager into a young woman with responsibilities and a bright future ahead of her, and you still thought about him. You can't help but frantically Miguel’s name under the obituary section of the town’s paper, unknowingly breathing a sigh of relief when his name wouldn’t appear. Although it was foolish, and despite no longer living in the same small town as your parents, you couldn’t help but feel a bit bitter at the fact he hasn’t found you yet. Was he even attempting to look for you? With a reputation like his, you’re certain you weren’t the first girl he’s charmed to get under his sheets… or in your case, jail cell. So, eventually, you stopped hoping, if he hadn’t found you during the last five years, he surely wasn’t looking. Why should you?

—

“Darling.” Your fiancé, Austin, called out for you before rounding the corner that connected the living room into the kitchen. You hummed in response as you kept your eyes on the stack of papers you were currently grading for your students, a pen in your dominant hand as your free one tapped a mindless tone to help keep you concentrated. “Put the papers down and take a break will you? You’ve got all week to grade those tests.” You let out a huff and a whine as you put the pen down, he was right. Your eyes keep unfocusing and your wrist was being to grow sore, making your fiancé tsk. “I don’t understand why you don’t just quit, I make enough to support us both.”

“I should,shouldn't I…” You contimplacted with a weary chuckle, and although your tone was joking, you were seriously considering it. You adored your students with all your heart, you really did. But the school was putting so much pressure on you because they refused to hire another teacher to help lessen your workload. So you and two other teachers were juggling a handful of 300 seven year olds, it was a lot… to say the least. You picked yourself up from your seat to stretch your body out, before turning to Austin. “Now was that all you came to tell me?” You asked in a playful tone.

“No, actually… I came to ask for a favor.” He admitted, smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt. “Ya know I’ve got that… liquor convention event out of town this weekend, right?” You nodded in confirmation, “well, I was wondering if you could do me the favor of just checking in on my office while I’m gone. I’ve heard a lot about break ins and whatnot during these times, just drop by for a few minutes for the 4 days that I’ll be gone.”

You tapped the nonsensical rhythm again as you thought about it, it wasn’t too much of an ask, you’d just drop by for a few minutes a day, you shrugged. “Sure. What’s the worst that could happen?”

—

Saturday afternoon, your first day off and your third alone. Grateful for the ability to sleep in and being about to eat a well rounded breakfast. After doing your usual morning routine, and having changed into one of your simpler dresses to go out and run some errands for the day.

Gone out to get groceries, send out a letter to your parents, went to the tailors to drop off some Austin’s shirts to be hemmed since you didn’t feel like sitting down all to do it yourself, even finished grading the last of the test all before noon ended. After tidying up your work from its usual spot from the kitchen table, you made yourself a quick lunch and went to read a few chapters of your book on the couch. Only to end up falling asleep, and once you woke up, you glanced at the clock-shit.

“It’s half past five?! I was supposed to go to his office an hour ago!” You yelled to no one but yourself as you quickly got up from your spot on the couch, fixing your hair quickly as you threw on your coat, and made your way back out the door.

—

“I told ya boys this heist would be easy… if we leave by dusk we could hit up that train that passes by el dorado tomorrow evening…” Miguel chuckled as he tossed his now full bag of valuables to his brother, who then passed it over Peter would load it to one of their horses that they had waiting for them around the back of the building.

After that night he had escaped, it took him about a month to find his partners in crime, following their trail through stolen newspapers from random porches and the knowledge of how their usual trail was, luckily they had kept his horse safe and well taken care of too.

“One more bag then we’re as good as gone.” Miguel said with a smirk, making Gabriel Let out a laugh and a clap. Right when Miguel was going to prep the last bag, the faint noise of rushing made all three men stop in their tracks. Before he sent his younger brother a glare and he hissed in a low tone through his teeth. “Pinche cabrón- I thought you said this place would be empty all weekend.” (Fucking dumbass)

“I thought it would!” He whispered-shouted back, before they heard the door creak open.

“Fuck-okay… um, go check if it’s the sheriff.” He quietly ordered Gabriel, before turning to Peter, “Get the horses ready incase we needa’ book It.” With a nob both males did as told, as Miguel quickly went to pack the last bag.

When his younger brother entered the front room, he swore he heard him mutter the words “hello pretty lady” before the muffle sound of rustling and some high-pitched yelping, but never was a shot fired, so clearly it couldn’t have been someone to play an immediate threat. Just as he was finishing tying up the bag, Gabriel came back into the room, but not alone.

“Look at what I found, it must be his little wife.” He said almost mockingly as he hazardly pulled you into the room and pushed you into the room in front of Miguel’s feet, but with your face being tilted down as you caught yourself from falling face first onto the wooden floor.

“Careful!” You yelled as you try to collect yourself, once you get yourself to look up at the bandit you were dropped in front of, your scowl immediately turned into once of disbelief, and it seems his expression matched yours.

You both seem to have froze up in time as you both did nothing but stare at each other, Gabriel just crossed his arms and raised a brow, Peter came jogging in to inform his friends the horses are ready when he saw the odd scene, opting to keep his mouth shut.

Finally, you came back to life as you blinked, as if expecting his to disappear right before your very eyes again, and when he didn’t, you finally whispered a faint. “…Miguel?”

“…(Y/N)…” You nodded your head, despite it not being a question, and he cleared his throat, not breaking eye contact with you as he spoke his next orders to Peter and Gabriel. “Unload all that shit and put it back.”

—

He had told Gabriel and Peter to go on to do the train heist without him, and that he'd meet up with them afterwards. Saying he had “unattended business to take care of”. So now here he was, in your kitchen, only being lightened up by a few candles as darkness overtook the sky. Both of you sharing drunken giggles over dinner. Miguel’s black cowboy hat that was certainly too big for you sitting on top of your head as you sip on your beer.

“That hat looks adorable on you.” Miguel chuckled, making you shake your head with a giggle, your free hand going to rest on top of the hat to help keep it stabilized.

“It’s so big!” You countered as you take the hat off and went to hand it back to Miguel, who grabs it and sets it back on his head.

“You know you shouldn’t be wearing just anyone’s hat. Ya know what they say about wearing a man’s cowboy hat.” He joked as he put down his now empty bottle, chuckling when he saw your face contour in confusion.

“What do they say?” You asked curiously, making Miguel’s smirk widen.

“Wear the hat…” he tapped the brim on the hat for emphasis, “Ride the cowboy.” He finished, making you gasp dramatically.

“Miguel! That’s inappropriate!” You pretended to be offended, but you couldn’t help but crack a smile near the end of you reprimanding him.

“Oh please, you act like you haven’t before, why not again? Unless you want me to come over then and manhandle you.” He was only joking of course, he may have been a thief and a murderer but he’d never hurt a woman, especially not you. You let out a faux gasp, playing along as your right hand goes to your chest for emphasis.

“You wouldn’t dare. I’m a married woman.” You said in a softer tone, going to sip your bottle to finish it off. You haven’t really told him you were going to be getting married soon, even though he knew you were in a relationship, he didn’t quite know how serious it was.

“Not yet.” He replied almost immediately, shaking his head as his playful tone dropped to a more serious yet still gentle tone. The soft smile stays on his lips but it didn’t meet his eyes anymore when you raised your hand to show off the silver band that decorates your ring finger, the diamond shining even only in the candlelight. It took you a moment too long to realize this.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked, the start of a giggle comes out with your words but they quickly die down in your throat as the once playful atmosphere starts to turn more serious.Miguel just shakes his head as a hand goes to rub at his chin.

“Nothing nothing… just didn’t think you’d ever get married… thought what we had was something real.” He admitted, eyes casted downwards as he goes to fidget with a bent half beer bottle cap. You let out a scoff, offended by his words.

“Don’t try and think I just forgot about you the moment my father dragged me out of that door,” your brows furrowed and your arms crossed on the wooden table as you started to chastise him, “I was stuck on you for five years Miguel. Five. Years.” You emphasized the two words with taps on the table. “Don’t get me wrong, Austin is a great guy, but it was my parents' idea for me to marry him. They thought it was a good way to get me to stop thinking about you-“ You shouldn’t be admitting that outloud but the buzz made your mind hazy.

“Do you love him?” He interrupted you, eyes burning into yours, those same intense eyes you had dreamed about as you slept, you had to look away.

“It’s not that simple Miguel-“

“But it is.” He insisted, standing up from his seat, the chair screeching as it tried not to topple over. “You either love him or you don’t.”

“I’m not doing this with you Miguel.” You shook your head as you stood as well, going to clean up the mess you two had made, trying to erase any evidence you two were there.

“Too bad, I’m not just gonna drop this and let you disappear from my life, I’m not losing you again.” He declared, you weren’t going to justify his admission with a response, but as you go to pick up a few empty bottles, they slip from your hands, cracking into hundreds of small shreds as Miguel’s hands turn you around to face him. A shocked gasp begins to leave your lips before it is quickly swallowed up by his. You know you should push him off, but you couldn’t help but melt underneath his touch.

Miguel O’Hara was a criminal, a thief of many things and no matter how much you try to stop him, he’ll always find a way to steal your heart all over again.

—

Taglist: @famouscattale @strawberryjuice9 @loser-alert @maomaimao @franceseca-the-1st @xevita @marshhbs @inlovewithpandora @vera4luv @mcmiracles @eddieslooneymoonie @to-the-endoftheline

[gurugirl]

The Ranch Hand | cowboy!harry

2.5k word preview below the cut

Your boyfriend, Jessie, sat down a bucket of beer on the table you were sitting at and pulled his stool up as you grabbed a cold one for yourself and twisted the cap off.

You didn’t know the band that was playing but they sounded pretty good, especially for a Friday night with a cold beer in your favorite little rowdy country bar.

Jessie hated the bar. He was more into cocktail joints with white tablecloths and live classical piano. The kind of place you had to dress up to go into. You didn’t blame him. He didn’t come from where you came from. You two had only a couple of things in common.

The first was that you were both from wealthy families. Your dad was a rancher and he owned half the county. You’d never hurt for anything. Jessie’s family ran the county and were all involved in politics. He went to some fancy school in a different state and only came back because his father wanted him to step into the role of prosecuting attorney.

The second thing you had in common was that you lived in the same town.

That was probably where your similarities ended. You liked Jessie. Mostly. He was usually pretty nice, if not boring, and your parents liked him so that was a plus. In fact, they set up your first date with him and it was easier to just keep things going to make your mom and dad happy.

“You look uncomfortable,” you spoke as you kept your eyes on the band and Jessie struggled to pull the metal cap from his bottle.

“I’m just… there’s peanut shells all over the floor and everyone’s staring at us.”

You laughed and shook your head. You were gonna have to break up with the guy. He couldn’t handle you and you knew that was the truth. He hated getting his hands dirty and even though he looked like he should be able to remove a bottle cap, it wasn’t the first time you had to do it for him.

Taking his beer you looked directly at him and twisted the cap off, dropping it to the floor before handing it back to him.

“I never drink beer. Not used to taking caps off…” he spoke as he took a sip. Shitty excuse.

You noticed that some of the workers from your dad’s ranch were in the bar. Probably causing trouble. The guys who worked for your dad could be rough around the edges but they were always nice to you. Just a bunch of cowboys looking to make ends meet. They all had a place to stay on the ranch at the bunkhouse provided and they were also paid pretty well. So on almost any given Friday and Saturday night, you could find some of them at the bar picking up local women, dancing, fighting, drinking…

This was your scene. This was what you enjoyed most. The rough and gritty. Salt of the earth. Phonies were quickly sniffed out in a place like this. It was why people were staring at Jessie.

You took another gulp of your beer and then you caught sight of one of the ranch hands already looking at you from across the room. Harry. He was very easy on the eyes. He’d been working at your dad’s ranch since he was 19. He’d earned a spot of trust with your father after all his years of hard work and now he had quite a lot of responsibility given to him. He had his own small cabin out of the way of the bunkhouse. He made a lot of financial decisions for your father as well. Negotiated prices for cattle sales, went to auctions to buy large equipment, handled the daily goings on of the newbie ranch hands, and did all the hiring and firing. But he also still worked his ass off. He’d pick up slack when the other workers needed help or couldn’t do the job. You imagined he was at the bar to keep the guys in line and make sure they didn’t land themselves in jail.

You and Harry were close from the beginning. You always went out of your way to meet every new worker that came on but Harry was a little different because he’d been around for almost ten years. You certainly favored him over all the others.

“Why’s he coming over here?” Jessie whined as Harry walked through the crowd with his eyes on you and a mischievous grin on his face. You just knew he was bout to do something to piss Jessie off, which was easy to do.

“Cause he’s comin’ to say hello.” You smiled at Harry as he tipped his cowboy hat to you, stepping between you and Jessie, and reaching in to grab a bottle of beer from the bucket your boyfriend bought.

“Uh, that’s ours,” Jessie sat up straight in his stool as he watched Harry uncap the bottle and take a swig, ignoring him completely, jade eyes still on yours.

Harry placed his elbow on the table and leaned in close to you, those handsome green eyes running over the features on your face, “Hi.”

You felt yourself heat up and kept your eyes on his, “Hi.”

You would have forgotten all about Jessie but then…

“Excuse me. Is this for real? That’s our beer,” Jessie reminded the cowboy.

Harry rolled his eyes and stood up with his hand on your shoulder, softly squeezing before he looked at your boyfriend, “Sorry about that bud,” and then he looked back down at you, “Okay if I have this, sweetheart?” He lifted the bottle of beer upward.

You nodded, “Of course you can have it, Harry.”

Harry’s grin widened as he took another drink and Jessie stood up to move in front of Harry. Maybe in an attempt to intimidate him? You weren’t sure exactly. But one thing you knew was that Harry would put Jessie down in the blink of an eye. Jessie wasn’t a small man but Harry was scrappy and liked to get dirty. Didn’t mind a scuffle when the moment called for it either. You’d seen him put a lot of men in their place.

“Next time you ask before you take.” Jessie pointed. You snickered to yourself. It was a good attempt at least.

Harry laughed and dragged his eyes down your body before he tipped his hat again and walked right into Jessie’s shoulder, making him stumble into the table. Harry looked back in faux surprise at Jessie and then at you with a wink before he went back to where he’d been before with the other guys.

Okay, so maybe Harry was a bit of a dick. But he’d never been rude to you. And you liked him, unfortunately for Jessie. Harry was not a fan of your boyfriends. He’d made that clear since Jessie started coming around four months ago.

“You just let him take a beer like that?” Jessie gestured toward where Harry had gone.

“I did. What’s the problem? I know this bucket wasn’t expensive so you’re not hurtin’ for the money.”

He took a deep breath and looked off toward where the cowboys were drinking, “Do you like him, Y/n?”

You pursed your lips to the side in thought as you watched people line dancing and stomping on the peanut-covered wood floors in their cowboy boots. Now you didn’t really need to think much about that question. Because you did like Harry, and he liked you the same. All the stolen kisses and sneaky moments you two had… it’s just that that could never happen out in the open. Your dad would never go for it and Harry might lose his job if your parents ever caught wind of anything happening between you two. So you’d always kept your distance because that was the most practical option.

But you couldn’t lie and say you didn’t like the man. Anyone with two eyes could see how handsome he was.

“Sure,” you shrugged and looked at Jessie.

“Like him, like him?” Jessie looked back toward you across the table.

“Why are you worried about it, Jes? Even if I did, it’s not a good match. My dad would kill him.”

He shook his head and watched the people on the floor dancing with their big, shiny belt buckles glistening under the shoddy lights, the strum of guitars, and a twangy voice singing an old Garth Brooks song.

You got up and waved when you saw your friend Chelle. She was among those dancing and you weren’t going to miss it, “You coming with me or not?” You looked back at the dud sitting on his stool with a scowl.

“Go on ahead. I’ll be right here.”

You rolled your eyes. There was only so much more you could take of Jessie. If he had even shown an ounce of something that looked like fun you might want to stick around longer. Hell, if he even would have just stood up to Harry about the way he had been very clearly flirting with you in front of him (rather than get so worked up over the beer Harry took) that could even be something for you to think about. But the man wouldn’t dance with you, he wouldn’t ride horses on the ranch, he wouldn’t go to rodeos, and he most certainly didn’t want to do anything that could sully up his nice clothes once in a while. Stepping over peanut shells was his limit. If it weren’t for your parents you’d never have considered him in the first place.

“Y/n!” Chelle pulled you in next to her and you began moving yourself in line in a weave; right, back, front… You always felt like an idiot when you joined in on line dancing but that was part of the fun. Everyone looked like hillbillies and idiots out there and it was a blast.

The music, the atmosphere, the raucous noise from everyone laughing, singing, shouting, stomping… your country girl roots were in full bloom that night. And beer after beer then a couple shots of whisky probably did you no good but you were going to enjoy your night with or without your boyfriend who did not move from the spot where you left him. Part of you, at one point, hoped he’d just go. He was uncomfortable and not having fun. You knew the only reason he was there was to keep an eye on you to make sure you didn’t do anything dumb.

And the later it got the more wild the bar became. More people filled in the small space, the music was louder, some of the lights at the edge of the room were dimmed, and the line for the bathroom grew longer.

“He gonna sit over there watching me all night?” You heard Harry from behind you as he moved in step, a bottle of beer in his big hand you noted as you turned to look up at him.

You laughed, “Probably. He’s jealous.”

Harry licked his pink lips and tampered what you knew was a big grin, “Oh yeah? Why’s he jealous?”

You both did a clumsy pivot turn together and you just smiled up at the handsome cowboy and shook your head.

There was no need to answer Harry. He knew what was going on. He knew you liked him just the same as he liked you. It had always been something secret between you two but it was obvious to almost everyone around. Except for your father. That was one time when you were both on your best behavior.

“Surprised you’re still here. Don’t you have an early morning tomorrow?” You asked.

He nodded, “Sure do. Just keeping an eye on everything going on here is all. I’ve got a responsibility for most of the people in this bar right now.”

“Oh yeah? All the guys seem to be doing okay. No one’s getting too crazy tonight it seems,” you looked around at the other workers, and most of them were two sheets to the wind but they were tame and having fun.

“Still my responsibility. Plus you’re still here.”

You grinned, “That I am. Figured I’d close the place down tonight.”

Harry laughed, “You usually do anyway. Always have been like one of the boys. Just as rowdy as the rest of us.”

You loved it when you got to talk to Harry. Loved how he looked at you and how he’d say your name. Loved how so many times you’d done just this and it felt exactly like what you wanted.

Another shot of whisky at the bar with Harry and you started to feel woozy. Your world was spinning but you were still having too much fun to call it a night.

“I should take you home,” Jessie appeared, taking you by your shoulders and pulling you away from Harry. For a short time, you’d forgotten he was still there.

“No, I think Harry’s gonna take me home.” You looked up at Harry.

“That’s right. Was just about to take her home.” Harry spoke as he stepped in closer to Jessie.

Jessie laughed and you felt his firm grip moving you away but you were too drunk to really put up any kind of fight.

“Nah, just stay here with the rest of the drunk cowboys. I got her.”

Harry followed you and Jessie out the front of the bar as Jessie opened up the passenger door of his nice car.

“You gonna be all right sweetheart?” Harry ducked down to ask you before Jessie could close the door – Harry blocking the space so he could look at you as he reached up for your face and softly turned your head to look at him.

You nodded, “It’s fine. I just need to go to bed.”

“That’s enough. She’s fine,” Jessie closed the door.

Your memory was only clear in bits and pieces as Jessie drove you home. You remembered him berating you for acting like a clown and then when he brought you to your room the memory of him kissing you and taking your hand to cup over his crotch was vivid. You remember telling him you had to go to sleep but he was angry at you. You could feel that too. You remembered his anger and how he shoved you down into your bed before he was hovered over you.

But then you remembered being on your knees in front of your toilet and expelling the contents of your stomach furiously. Jessie’s words rang in your ears about how you were gross and just as nasty as all the cowboys on the ranch. How he didn’t want to fuck you anyway when you were drunk.

You woke up on your bathroom floor and Jessie was long gone.

NOTE: This is a 15k+ Patreon-only one shot. If you'd like to read more consider signing up!

xoxo

[queenimmadolla]

A little sneak peak of a request! I was trying to finish this one before I got smashed but SOME PEOPLE did not like certain details, so I have to fix it. BUT this is proof that I do indeed be writing, I swear, I just grow very intensely annoyed when something doesn't turn out perfect and the way I want it immediately, so I throw it in The Vault! Just know, everything in The Vault will be released :)

𝐃𝐚𝐝!𝐑𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫!𝐄𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐱 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭!𝐌𝐨𝐦!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 - angst, hurt/comfort 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐲𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐞 ♡

You’d expected it to be dramatic.

  Your water breaking that is, but as you stared down at your toes, barely visible past your baby bump, pants darkening around your crotch and the liquid trailing down your leg to gather in a small puddle beneath you, you almost felt nothing, save for ennui. 

  Your last two pregnancies had been quite the spectacle; your first being dramatic in itself for the sole reason of being your first time bringing a child into the world. The second time almost killed you and your baby.

  You’d been wary of having any more after that, fearful you wouldn’t be able to carry to term and the possibility of losing your own life. It would mean you wouldn’t get to see Penny and Wayne grow up.

  It brought both you and your husband a sense of responsibility with your sex life that you hadn’t quite possessed before. There had been almost a four year gap between your oldest and (now) middle child and the gap between he and this baby would be even longer at about six.

  Pretty good luck, considering you hadn’t wanted to get pregnant for a third time, at all. Yes, you had been wary before but now, with things between you and your husband as they were, it seemed irresponsible and senseless to bring another child into the picture.

  Hell, conceiving your baby alone was a miracle. All you did was fight and ignore each other, made easier with the fact that Eddie was always away. Always missing school awards, always missing dance recitals and shows, parent teacher conferences, always missing out on your family. 

  Ever since Corroded Coffin broke through mainstream music, you and your children had to share your husband with the world. More often than not, it was the world who got to have him.

  It led to fights, vicious ones. Words and insults thrown out, screaming, accusations ranging from spite to infidelity, and magazines thrown around with their intentionally triggering headlines featuring pretty women in the same vicinity as the man who shared your vows. 

  The man who once was just a boy you greatly admired in school, sat a couple of desks ahead of you. The boy who approached you and then followed from then on. The boy who was the first to make love to you, not fuck. The boy whose heart you had broken in the past. The boy who welcomed you back with open arms. The boy who asked you the most important question of your life while surrounded by a sea of high school graduates, caps and gowns. The boy whose baby you had a year after that.

  You’d dreamt of a life with him, at his side while he pursued music with his band. And then life happened, and you were both surprisingly at ease with putting those dreams to rest, in favor of the new ones you welcomed in little bundles of blankets, smelling of baby powder.

  You never let Eddie fully give up on pursuing music, he still played shows whenever he could, waving and blowing kisses from the stage at the tiny people in your arms with large headphones over their sensitive ears to protect them.

  But that had been small venues, overnight trips at best.

  Fame was an entirely different monster.

  Fame was weeks away, and on occasion, months. When you had imagined your future with Eddie as a teen, traveling the world with him, there hadn’t been a family in tow. Kids.

  You had them now, and you couldn’t imagine your life without them. Wouldn’t want to. It was unfair of you, and completely untrue, but you thought Eddie might.

[rie-092]

IDIOT

⟡﹒ ashioki oushi x nagi! reader

summary : oushi doesn't like you, period.

⊂ rei: i'm a sucker for this guy and i haven't seen fanfics about him >:/ i'm so close on making a ff about him, i swear. ⊃

everyone could see how much oushi hates your guts. but he swears, he has good reasons why the fuck he hates you so much. first, because you are annoying. second, because you are too lazy for his liking (he made the whole damn project on that one project when the two of you got assigned together as partners which is so unfair) and third, but not the least, you are itsuomi's younger sister.

whenever the two of you were together, it's either oushi was so pissed and dragging you around or yelling at you. or he practically gave up and accepted his fate and just seat next to you, blankly eating bread since there was no vacant seat in the cafeteria. and everyone really prefers the second one because they only have a peaceful time whenever the two of you aren't together or whenever you and oushi aren't fighting.

but it was different in the perspective of selected individuals. like yuki, who always notices the change of expression in oushi's face whenever he sees you. sure, he still has that resting bitch face but— yuki couldn't deny the fact that oushi's face always softens a little bit whenever he sees you. while on the other hand, your older brother, itsuomi knows how lazy you are and how much you hates interacting with humans. but it was different when you were with oushi.

he can see the change in your behaviour, he noticed how you smile more often than usual. or how your face brightens up whenever your eyes see oushi. or how much you were enjoying school because of oushi. both yuki, itsuomi and the others can see the fact that you and oushi like each other. but the two of you were way too stubborn to notice that fact and it was frustrating for them.

actually, despite claiming that you hate each other. the two of you often hang out with each other. arcades, movies, eating in your and oushi's favourite fast food chains, taking you out for shopping— just name it, because oushi was sure that he already visited or done it with you. while others exclaimed that it was date— you and oushi are dating. you and oushi was like 'wtf are you talking about? we're just bored and he/she happens to be free that day?'

i can see that the first one who realized their feeling was oushi. you see, this guy despite his grumpy attitude was very well aware of his surroundings and his own feelings. i can see how awkward he will be when he realises his feelings. but when he saw you being dense as hell — he was pissed. it was much easier when he fell in love with yuki, but it wasn't the same for you 'cause you were so stupid in oushi's eyes.

but seeing how you unconsciously showing your affections to him. like letting him rest his head on your shoulder, staying with him whenever he has problem, giving him small gifts (mainly handmade) was enough to convince oushi that you like him too. and he fucking loves it.

wanna hear how he confessed his feelings? oh, i'll tell ya. so, you got invited to a certain gathering with your seniors along with oushi and they started teasing you and oushi, asking things like ‘are you guys dating~?’ and you denied it. and boy, you made a wrong move because it only pissed oushi so much. and by the time that the gathering was finished, oushi grabbed that chance to confront you about it.

“what made you think that i don't want to date you?”

“what?”

“i'm pretty sure that your ears are working properly, (first name).”

“meanie.”

“and you're a big idiot.”

so, we all know the fact that he eas rejected by yuki. and that was the main reason why he was scared to fall in love again. but damn, you just came into his life— wrecking the damn wall that he built around his heart.

and now you're saying that it's impossible for the two of you to date because he hates you? what are you, and idiot? or you just hates using that damn pea-size brain of yours?

so while you were happily telling him the various reasons why he doesn't want to date you. he mumbled an apology which you didn't heard properly and before you could react— you already felt his lips on you. you blinked, surprised. while on the other hand, oushi smirked seeing the pink dust on your cheeks.

you were about to ask what was that for when oushi rested his forehead on yours, not even bothering to break the eye contact as he spoke with the most gentle tone that he can. saying the words that you didn't expected to hear from him outta all people in this universe.

oushi is a sweet guy, i swear. despite of being grumpy and short fused. he was more than willing to do anything for the girl that he like.

oh, by the way. expect a lot of cuddles, kisses and gifts from him once you agreed to become his girlfriend. don't worry, he will make sure that you won't regret agreeing to become his girlfriend because he is more than willing to give the whole world. also, expect that he will probably tutor you when you fail the exams. jeez, what an idiot— but you are his idiot.

“i like you, idiot. happy now?”

[tatorthots]

— get you

featured: college!Eren x afab!reader x college!Levi, Mikasa Ackerman, Sasha Braus, Louise (canon Yeagerist)

cw: modern!au, slight fluff if you really squint, suggestive content, minors dni, toxic dynamics, possessiveness, cursing

synopsis: the life of a college student is already hard enough as it is with classes, homework, and lectures so why not add a complicated love triangle as well?

a/n: this is a repost !! I’ve written this before but decided to go back and re-edit it :) to everyone who’s read this before I hope you all enjoy this improved version!

Eren fucking Yeager.

The college campus’ fuckboy and the literal bane of your existence.

Eren has been the thorn in your side since you were both assigned dorm mates at the beginning of your junior year of college. Sure, you’ve heard of the infamous name he set out for himself as the ruthless ‘Attack Titan’ in your school's football team, and you were fully aware of his cold and narcissistic personality but hey, who were you to judge a book by its reviews, right? So you made the mistake of ever being kind to him when you first introduced yourself only to be met by desolate green eyes and a scoff. Not to mention he had the audacity to give you ‘house rules’ which basically summarized to cleaning the dorm and staying out of his way. No, Eren almost never spared you small talk or even pretended to tolerate your mere existence. Why? Who fucking knows. Honestly, you firmly believed the brunette was born with a vendetta against you — every day striving and scheming to better his tactics in making your life miserable like some ripoff supervillain. But worst of all is the fact he seemed to make a habit of following you around campus like some lost puppy. You’d think someone who supposedly hates you would do anything to keep themselves away, right? Wrong. He thrived off bickering, insulting, and annoying you at any chance he got. Weirdly enough, no matter how many times you prayed someone would approach you to give you reason to ditch him, everyone always seemed to particularly steer clear from you when he was with you. Almost as if they were too afraid to even look your way, let alone talk to you. But I guess that could all be chalked up to Erens possessive behavior; his sinister stare and malicious intent were ever present anytime anyone dared get close to you. Not that you would know though, no, you were far too busy rolling your eyes and thinking of witty comebacks or insults. Unknowingly, making it easier to keep you all to himself.

Silly girl.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The echo of a blunt object clamoring to the floor abruptly stirred you from your peaceful slumber as the sound of it rolling on the hardwood floor rattled through the cramped dorm. Sitting up from your resting position you outwardly groaned as you rubbed the sleep off your eyes, “What the hell?” you sighed. Snatching your phone from its charging port you checked the time, squinting your eyes at the sudden brightness, “5:06 a.m?” Huffing in annoyance your jaw clenched as you glared at the door, already starting bright and early this morning huh you asshole, throwing your legs off the bed you groggily made your way out your bedroom door. Fuming at the fact you were forced to wake up so early after pulling an all-nighter studying last night; which, by the way, was already hard to do with Eren and his friends cluttering around the living room all night.

“What do you think you’re doi—“ your voice came to a complete halt when your eyes landed on an opened package and your recently delivered figurine displaced out of its box and lying on the floor. And to add insult to injury there stood Erens number one psycho of a fan, Louise. Giggling to herself as she kicked what would’ve been your most prized possession away from her. “What.. what are you doing…?” Your voice was barely above a whisper as your eyes remained focused on your figurine. The same figurine you excitedly pre-ordered a year ago. You couldn’t even afford to eat for a month afterward because of how much you spent on it and now there it was being kicked around by some desperate pest? So balling your hands into fists you marched over and shoved Louise aside to see the damage she had caused. But your anger only ignited when you saw your favorite character's weapon broken in half and their stand shattered to pieces. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You seethed as you bent down to sorrowfully try to connect the shattered pieces together. You were tired. So tired of this. Carefully tightening your hold on the broken pieces; you hated how you felt like you could cry from frustration. “Oops~” was all Louise bothered herself to say in response to her crime. Quietly, almost too calmly, you spoke, “… What did you just say?” “I said ‘oops’,” she cheekily replied, “besides, it’s not my fault you leave around boxes for anyone to touch.” Resting her hand on her hip she smirked down at you, “If you really cared so much about your little dolls then you shouldn’t have been so irresponsible~ heh, hope you learned your lesson.”

Standing up from your crouched position, you side-eyed Louise with a piercing, almost eerily, hyper-focused glare. This is it, you thought before clenching your fists and raising your arm, intent on actually beating her until your knuckles ached. But before you could swing, you felt a cautious grip on your wrist and a firm hold on your hip. Everything moved so fast, you didn’t even get to acknowledge the fingertips that slid up to the hem of your latex shorts before you found yourself spun and placed behind Eren. Staring up at him you blinked a few times. “Don’t get so heated.” He spat, with a disinterest in his tone almost mocking your apprehensive reaction, “She’s my guest.” He cocked his head at you with a sarcastic smile, and god did your eye twitch. It made your stomach churn and skin crawl knowing what he meant by that, and it… hurt. Shaking your thoughts, you swat his hands off of you, and scowled at the man towering over you, daring to defend the rat responsible for all of this. Dryly you scoffed, “She’s just another fuck-buddy you bring in here ren.” Crossing your arms together you continued your jeering, “You make a mess wherever you go and you even have the audacity to drag in trash? Tch. Please.” But, oh how naive you are to not notice. The glint of amusement reflecting off Erens emerald eyes just from the venom in your tone; it makes his dick twitch. He shifts a little uncomfortably trying to ease himself before exasperatedly sighing. “Well dove,” he begins as he starts to circle around you, “maybe if you weren’t such a self-righteous prude I wouldn’t have to bring girls in here…” stopping right in front of you he leaned down to reach eye-level, his taunting gaze only inches away from you as he lowly growled out, “I could just fuck you instead.”

Truth be told, Eren knew he was full of it — straight up lying through his teeth every time he told you he didn’t want you. In reality, the man was absolutely obsessed with you and anyone with eyes could see it, everyone except you. But unfortunately, Eren isn’t the type to admit his feelings so freely, let alone submit to his emotions. No, he was too prideful for that. Don’t be too harsh on him though, I mean, the idiot hasn’t even figured out himself what it is he feels for you. It could be part of the reason why he’s so particularly hostile with you, and why he’s equally possessive. Not to mention that Eren has been the object of many’s affection since he could remember; as in he’s never not had what he did or didn’t want. He learned early on that personality and sincerity isn’t anything more than currency in this world, and he abides by that principle. So to have someone like you, who’s breathtakingly mesmerizing, compassionate, intelligent, interesting, funny, and well, you, is completely left field for this playboy. You’re everything he thought wasn’t possible. You contradict his entire worldview of people. How could he not resent you — or fall for you all the same? He hates it.

However, as of now, all you know is that you’re fed up with this situation. Pushing past them to grab your keys and hoodie, you turned around and stormed through the front door. Did you know where you were going? Not a clue. But you sure as hell aren’t going to be anywhere near here. Anywhere near him. Walking out the door you heard Louise’s cackling laugh practically grating your ears and it only made your blood simmer further as you slammed the door behind you.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“I’ve told you to speak to the Dean and ask for another dorm mate,” sighing as she stirred her coffee with a spoon, her dark eyes flickered up at you, “I’m sure if you explain your situation to him he’ll be more likely to accept your proposal.” Anxiously combing your hair back, you groaned at your best friend's advice, “Mikasa don’t you think I’ve already tried that?” Dramatically throwing your arms on the diner's table, you buried your face in your arms, “The Dean only has a strict appointment-based schedule,” with a pout you lift your head up slightly, “and the waiting list spans for the next four months!” Tucking your head back to sulk, Mikasa hummed in acknowledgment, but that’s when your other friend spoke up. “Then why don’t you try talking to his assistant?” Snapping your head up, you stare questioningly at Sasha as she shoved another beignet in her mouth, “Yeah but —mmph — what’s his name again?” “Levi.” Mikasa chimed in, “Levi Ackerman.” Levi Ackerman..?, you thought, Why does that name sound so familiar? But you didn’t get long to think about it before Sasha excitedly shouted out, “Yes—! Levi!” Putting her fork down she rubbed her chin in contemplation, “Huh, I heard he’s kind of a total jerk though, and everyone who’s ever met up with him spirals into some sort of existential crisis…” Mikasa kicked Sasha from under the table as she nodded in your direction, “O-oh! But um.. I mean how bad could he be, right?” Trying to nervously wave off what she said, Sasha patted you on the head, “You’ll be fine, y/n!”

I’ll be fine? Groaning again, you leaned your cheek on your hand as you looked at the people chatting or studying at their tables. “Well, I guess I don’t have much of a choice..” which to an extent is true. You either continue to put up with Eren until you eventually get an appointment with the Dean, or you talk to Levi Ackerman and hope you don’t spiral. That name though…, you pondered, Why do I know it? Smearing around the egg yolk on your avocado toast you glanced up at your friends. “Hey, why does that Levi name sound so familiar? Do we know him or something?” “Yes and no.” Sasha answered, “You’ve heard his name before because he’s that super mysterious senior everyone’s afraid of.” “He’s been the leader of the Honors Society since he was a sophomore, and he’s top-ranking academically in the country.” Mikasa added. Thinking to yourself you finally remembered, “Oh! That’s right!” You triumphantly chirped until it dawned on you what you remembered. Noticing the dread in your eyes Sasha laughed, “Mhm, you definitely look like you remember now~” “He’s that academic thug…” sinking into your chair you genuinely began to wonder who you crossed in your past life to deserve this, I probably helped commit genocide or something…, “Yeah, he’s gotten into a few fights but it’s always settled within reason.” “Pft, c’mon Mikasa, the schools probably too scared to punish its most valuable student.” Sasha snorted. “Hm. You might have a point, but it’s usually ruffians who feel they have something to prove that challenge him,” Mikasa pointed out, “He also hangs around his small clique. I think, our seniors like Petra, Eld, Gunther, Olou, and Hange.” “See y/n! How bad could he be if he hangs out with them?” Sighing, you smiled at your two closest friends and their attempt at making you feel better. “Yeah, you guys are right,” finishing your latte, you beamed down at them, “I’m gonna kick today's ass!”

After the three of you waved your goodbyes, you set off to go find the very man you only hear of through quiet whispers. Honestly, with all the mystery shrouding him you really started to believe he was some sort of urban legend the school came up with. Kind of like ‘if you don’t do your homework, Levi Ackerman will show up in your closet’ type of thing, you know? With an exasperated sigh, you look down at your clothes. Great. I’m about to meet the guy who’s also known for his ocd in a jujutsu keisen hoodie, spandex shorts, and crocs.. Sheepishly rubbing the back of your neck, you stared up at the birds flying above you, I wish I could live freely like them… Longingly looking up, you snap out of your thoughts as you approached the administrative office. Well, I promised Sasha and Mikasa I’d do this so.. here I go. Stepping into the front office you began your unexpected hour-and-a-half-long journey being sent practically all across campus in search of this Levi guy. You went from office to office, met up with more people than you’ve probably spoken to in the last two weeks, and wasted time waiting around for people who ended up either not knowing where he is or sending you back across campus. Until finally you made it to the science research facility building where you tiredly dragged yourself toward the receptionist’s desk. “Please..” you heaved, “Please tell me… *gasp of air* tell me Levi Ackerman is in this building!” Your eyes pleaded at the poor, spooked old lady as she stared at you. “Oh honey, please have a seat!” She scurried next to you and guided you to sit down, “He’s tucked away in the computer lab right now, let me go notify him!” Grabbing her arm, you peered into her eyes, “He’s here?” “Y-yes!” Nervously laughing, she placed her hand on top of yours, “You know what? How about you come with me. He’ll most likely decline your visit if I notify him.” And with that, you made your final trudge with the old lady you managed to scare into personally leading you to Levi.

“Alrighty sweetheart, this is him.” Pointing toward a large door, the receptionist politely smiled at you before hurrying back to her desk and leaving you all alone. Glancing at the wooden door, you suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety. Okay… I um.. I made it this far, right? You tried to reassure yourself but the longer you stared at the door, the more your imagination ran rampant. What if he’s big and terrifying looking? You imagined a tall, ogre-looking man, Or what if he’s a total creep? Then some balding guy who resembled a mole. If ren were here I wouldn’t feel so intimid—huh? Ren? Shuddering at your thoughts, you took a deep inhale, Alright, clearly the longer I stand here the more I’m beginning to lose it, so with a little pep-talk you figured you might as well rip the bandaid. Twisting the handle, you carefully pushed open the door and peeked inside. The entire room was almost the size of an entire lecture hall but filled with neat rows of computers. Wow… you thought as you opened the door further to step inside. Looking around the room in amazement, you immediately stopped in your tracks when you noticed a figure sitting at the front of the room reading a textbook with notebooks and papers stacked on the table. That must be him. Clearing your throat you decided to call out to him, “Excuse me, I’m looking for Levi Ackerman,” slowly walking up to him you tried to fill in the silence, “I’m assuming that’s you, right?” Closing in on the table he sat at, you managed to make out a head of black hair and.. and him drinking tea? Quirking a brow at the full tea set he had displayed, you spoke up again, “My names y/n. I wanted to talk to you about an issue I have and I was told you cou—“ “Get lost.” H-huh..? Did I mishear him? “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you but I—“ “If you don’t intend to offend me then go bother somebody else. I’m busy.” His voice was deep and monotone, clearly uninterested in what you had to say by the way he didn’t even bother to acknowledge your presence.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you knitted your brows in irritation. Of course. Gritting your teeth, you strode right up to him and slammed your hand down on the desk, “You’re a tough guy to find, you know that?” You chuckled dryly, “Did you also know I spent the last two hours running around campus trying to find you? So no, I’m not leaving until you at least listen to what I have to say.” Setting his tea down, the raven-haired man finally turned to look at you, “Is that so?” He questioned, though it was clear the question was more rhetorical than genuine. With a long sigh, he swiveled his chair to completely face you; and then that’s when you flinched in surprise as you scanned him. He’s hot… you thought, Oh god, he’s hot..!? The man in question had inky black hair styled in an undercut, a complimentary choice when paired with his delicate yet sharp features. This definitely wasn’t what you expected. Even the dark circles under his eyes look good… A light blush began to creep up on your cheeks as you realized the commotion you just made in front of someone like him. All the while you stared in a flustered daze, Levi was languidly trailing his eyes across your body. Resting his head on his hand, he couldn’t deny he liked the sudden surprise presented to him. Huh.. he mused. “Well? What’s so damn important?” Straightening up at the sound of his voice, you smoothed out the wrinkles on your hoodie, “Oh! Yes, of course.. I’d like to propose a change of dorm mates.” Staring at him, the intensity in his eyes only worked to captivate you to him, “My… my roommate isn’t working out, and no matter what I try to do to civilize the situation it just doesn’t work out..” you ended, almost disappointingly. Levi hummed as he listened before standing up from his chair. “Is that what’s got you so worked up?” But something about his tone made you think he might’ve been referring to something else. “Why not go to the Dean?” He inquired as he slowly approached you, and you subconsciously took a few steps back until the back of your thighs hit a table behind you and you almost fell sitting on it. “The Dean has appointments booked all through the semester and since the matter is urgent I figured I’d reach out to his personal assistant.” The fact you managed to jumble that out without stuttering was a blessing in itself. “I see.” Narrowing his eyes on you he continued, “Then I guess I have no choice but to agree if it’s so urgent.” Blinking a few times you took a moment to process his words, Is he agreeing to help me? “Meet me later this evening to discuss the details,” his expression remained unchanged but you caught glimpse of the glimmer in his silver eyes as he stared at you, “I assume 7 works for you?” “7..?” You muttered, “Ah, yes, of course!” “Great. I’ll escort you then. Now if you’ll excuse me,” he closed in on your body and reached an arm past your waist, his lips inches away from your ear as he leaned in, “I have other matters to attend to.” Your body stiffened and your breath hitched until he pulled back with a notebook in his hand. He was.. just reaching for his notebook..? Nodding your head in agreement you politely excused yourself and raced out of the room with a bright blush searing your skin as he watched slightly amused at your disappearing figure.

After exiting the computer lab, you stood there for a few seconds in a flustered haze. What the hell just happened? Brushing your fingertips across your cheek you tried to ease away the warmth on them. Heh, I’ve gotta tell Sasha and Mikasa about this! You giddily thought as you whipped out your phone and started typing in the group chat. And after a morning of lectures and labs without your backpack, you finally made it back to your dorm. Heaving a sigh, you slung yourself on the couch and peeked your eye to where your broken figurine last lay. It’s gone… You figured Eren must’ve thrown it away along with the rest of the trash before leaving for his afternoon classes. Grabbing a pillow you covered your face and screamed into the fabric before sitting up and punching it a few times in frustration. “Fuck—!” You loudly groaned out. Why does he have to be that way? Scrunching your face, you massaged the bridge of your nose to calm down, He’s a dick to everyone, sure, but why does he target me so much? Even after… Throwing the pillow to the other side of the couch you hastily stood up and checked the time. Whatever, you bitterly thought, it’ll all be over soon enough. So you brushed off the thought and jumped in the shower to get ready for tonight’s occasion.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Rushing around your room, you turned your phone on to see 6:43 p.m. glaring at you. No, no, nononono—! Hissing in annoyance at your time management, you hurriedly slipped on a long, slit, silk skirt over your sheer tights. “Okay, alright, almooost done!” Grunting as you put on a pair of platform boots, you stood up and admired yourself in the mirror. “Heh,” you chuckled, “Elegant and fashionable with a touch of promiscuous.” After pulling a quick jojo pose in the mirror, you adjusted your open back top and strut through your bedroom door with an excited smile. But your smile immediately turned into a grimace when you caught sight of Eren and Louise lounging on the couch. Fucking bitch.. you internally sneered as you scrunched your nose in distaste. “Self-respect… and that goes for the both of them.” You mumbled under your breath. Forget it. Rummaging around the kitchen, you tried looking for your hand purse until an agitated voice called out to you.

“Shocked you’re not tryna run around empty-handed again since you had no problem with it this morning,” you could already see his irked frown, “and yeah I heard you’ve been taking a tour through campus by the way.” Roiling your eyes, you heard him shift as you clipped on your earrings, “I looked for you in the library to bring you your bag since apparently, you need everything done for y—“ widening his eyes, Erens jaw slacked as he eyed you. “…. fuck” he lowly muttered. He knew you were fine, he gets mesmerized by your beauty every day, but damn. Your leg peeking out of the silk fabric slit, and the way it’s tight fit complimented the curve of your ass was just too much for him. His mildew gaze trailed up to your open back top and he almost groaned at the slightest tease of side-boob. And just as he almost folded, he snapped out of it when he realized you were going out dressed like that. “Wait, where the fuck are you going?”

But Eren knew that wasn’t what he was really asking. No, what you wore never bothered him, in fact, he loved when you got all dolled up; let others look because he can fight — and he has, for you. What Eren was really asking was ‘Where the fuck are you going without me?’ ‘Who are you meeting?’ ‘Do you like them?’ ‘Would you forget me?’ Those were the real questions bouncing around in his head.

“Doesn’t matter.” Was all you replied, but the grip those two words had on him were like a vice. Leaning down to adjust your ankle bracelet, his eyes darted to the way your back subtly arched. He could already feel the tent growing in his pants, but he couldn’t be bothered to do something to hide it when all he could think about was how pretty you’d look stuffed full of him. He was desperate to touch you, feel you, claim you — just as desperate as he was to be owned by you, in every way, any way you’d allow him to be yours. Maybe you were just too dense for your own good. He tried his damndest to keep his composure as best as he could but his voice gave it away, “It’s a fucking date.” He snarled, low and threateningly. You glanced over at him, confused and infuriated at his audacity to interrogate you about where you were going or who you were meeting. “Doesn’t. Matter.” Both of you locked eyes as an intensity conflicted within his irises and a rage burned within yours. Scoffing, you turned on your heels, grabbed your purse, and walked toward the front door. Eren wanted to stand up and stop you, he wanted to do something anything but the pulsing ache in his pants kept him rooted to the couch. “Tell me who it is.” He demanded, and you finally reached your breaking point. Clenching your fists you turned your head and glared at Eren, “Hah. You’re really something, huh?” You condescendingly seethed, “You always bring in random girls in here almost every night and you have the fucking audacity to question me?” Reaching for the handle, you pushed open the door, “Don’t forget your place, Eren.” And his eyes widened at the use of his name, “And I won’t forget mine.” Slamming the door behind you, he felt his heart ache at the way your voice wavered when you said those last words. He wanted to argue, tell you that you’re wrong, that he’d do anything for you but he couldn’t. All he could do was stare at the door and lose himself in his thoughts.

Through the halls, you bitterly made your way outside the dormitory. Who the hell does he think he is? Roughly opening doors, you fumed, Acting like he owns me. Hah! If I didn’t know better I’d even think he cares about me. Bursting open the front doors of the dorm entrance you marched outside and hastily walked out of the dormitory district, What does he want from me? Seriously, I don’t understand him at all! You clutched your purse as you trembled with anger, He’s so confusing, ugh! He does things for me that make me feel special but then he… but then he acts like that! Like.. like Eren and I d— bumping into somebody, you stumbled back. Huh? Looking up you were surprised to see,

“Levi?”

“The hells wrong with you?” Steadying you with a hand around your arm, you didn’t realize he had grabbed you to keep you from falling, “Do you normally walk around like you’re ready to slice someone’s head off?” He asked, and you looked away in embarrassment, “.. sorry.” “Clearly whoever you’re so damn angry with should be the one apologizing,” letting go of your arm he sardonically added, “or it’s their funeral.” Covering your mouth, you laughed at his words, and his attention focused on the sound. Pretty.. he thought. Easing from your laughter, you looked up at him with a cheery smile, “Thank you for going out of your way to wait for me, I’m sorry I’m a little late.” “Yeah.. don’t-um..,” clearing his throat, Levi averted his gaze from yours, “Don’t worry about it.” Blinking at him, you stood admiring the way the luminescent streetlights illuminated his clear skin, “We should get going.” Interrupting your daze, you tilted your head in curiosity, Hm? Oh, that’s right, “Where are we going?” Checking his watch, his sharp eyes flickered up at you, “There’s a cafe I frequent often,” walking next to you, he placed his hand on the small of your back to guide you next to him and away from the street, “It’s a little hidden but they have a good atmosphere.” His gaze drifted to you and carefully took in the sight of you, “I hope it’s to your taste.” Glancing at him your eyes sparked with excitement, “A hidden cafe? I love checking out new coffee shops to study in! I’m looking forward to potentially adding another shop to my list!” Levi watched as you buzzed with enthusiasm. He was a little apprehensive about inviting you out to a small cafe, not knowing if it’d be something you’d enjoy, so to see you react so excitedly he sighed in relief. Seems this little venture might actually be worth its while. Unbeknownst to you, Levi did do a little background check on you through his student access — perk of being the Deans assistant — and he was pleasantly surprised to see all the achievements and participation activities you had under your belt. Most students don’t bother to do more than get through classes and do solely what’s asked of them as students. So his interest most definitely peaked when he quickly scanned through your transcript. Charming, fierce, intelligent, and beautiful. Lucky me.. he mused.

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[01zfan]

hii is it possible if you could do smth like meeting sungchan or eunseok at a frat party and hitting it off really well? ur work is literally incredible btw :)

thank you anon! i like your request, wasn’t sure if you wanted a sfw or nsfw thing so i did both…i also did both of the members because i miss my frat party era too much

frat row | s. es & j. sc

frat boy!eunseok x fem. reader | 1k words

contains: alcohol consumption, (implied) hookup

the shitty music from the fraternity pumped through the speakers. you could barely hear your own thoughts as you drank from a cup with cheap vodka. you were unprepared for this party to say the least, unable to sneak in your favorite mixers that made the alcohol go down easier. you had to tough through it if you wanted to drink tonight. each sip was met with a grimace as you looked for the friend you came with. you guys had a pact to stay together, or to atleast be within yelling distance. you see her talking to her on again off again boyfriend and you smile at the pair. you have never told her but you think they’ll end up getting married the way they keep coming back to one another.

you canvas the party, saying hello to people you’ve seen in class and find your way to the makeshift bar. you sit at a stool, waiting for a good song to come on when you see eunseok on the other side. he smiles at you and you smile back.

“do you want a drink?” he says into your ear. even though he has to yell over the music, his voice is still gentle and laid back.

“no i already have one.” you yell to him.

he nods and you thank him for asking. although the conversation is over you still catch his glance towards you, as if he’s waiting for you to say something. you don’t know if it’s the terrible tasting alcohol having an effect on your system but you lean over the bar again to talk to him.

“do you know who’s controlling the music?” you ask. you want to make sure it’s not him before you shit on the dj’s song selection.

“no, but it’s awful right?” eunseok asks. 

you nod your head and you both laugh at how terribly loud and awful the music is. eunseok assures you that it’s usually not this bad and you tell him you’re just gonna have to take his word for it.

you both find out that you two share some classes together. the problem with your school is that the campus is massive, sometimes you’re in a lecture hall with fifty other people. you two talk about an assignment that’s due tonight, bonding over the fact that it is not getting turned until tomorrow. eunseok learns your name and repeats it back to you, to make sure he is saying in properly. you do the same thing when he gives you his name. 

eunseok tells you jokes all night and it makes you laugh, the fact that he has to practically yell it in your ear makes him find everything humorous as well. he introduces you to some people who come up to him. they compliment you, saying you’re pretty and you accept all the compliments with a smile. you see eunseok nod in agreement and that is what makes you flustered to the point of near silence.

“can i get your number. you know, just in case i have any questions about class.” eunseok says. he shrugs his shoulders, trying to make you laugh at how nonchalant he’s trying to be. you stick out your hand and he gives you his phone. you put your number in and text yourself from his phone. you both save the contact. it’s nerve wracking putting away your phone to look back at him, but eunseok’s smile and easygoing personality keeps the conversation flowing the rest of the night.

nsfw: 

as the night is coming to an end, more and more people leave the frat house. you end up staying through loud song after loud song. over the course of the night, eunseok had gotten more touchy with you. he put his hand on the small of your back a little more often, brushed his hand over yours and gave you some of his soda to help mix with the rest of your alcohol. eunseok looks over your body don’t go unnoticed. you make an effort to look at him with eyes that tells him what you want. when he does a once over of your body you can no longer handle the subtle looks to try and get what you want. you lean over to whisper in his ear. eunseok places a hand on the arch of your back to bring you in and tilts his ear towards you.

“can we go somewhere else?” you ask. ”this music is too loud.” 

eunseok nods and puts his drink down. he takes you by the hand and walks you over to the stairs. as you walk up the stairs you send a text to your friend telling her you’re going with a man named eunseok. 

he leads you past several rooms, filled with couples doing what you two are about to do. he takes you his private room, making sure no one is there. 

within a few minutes of him closing the door his lips are on your neck. you expose more of your neck to him and feel the expanse of his shoulders. he sucks a patch of skin underneath your ear and takes your earlobe into his mouth. you guys make out standing up, both to greedy to pull away. eunseok slowly walks backwards, pulling you by the belt loop of your jeans to follow his lead. the kiss is only broken for a second while he positions himself on the bed, and you lay down on top of him. 

you have your hands on his shoulder as you continue to kiss him, tongue touching his. eunseok’s hands move from the belt loop of your jeans to your ass, pressing you down on him so he can grind on you. you break apart from the kiss, panting heavily as he smiles up at you. he looks even better underneath you than he did downstairs. his delicate hands trace up and down your body. he plays with the hem of your shirt and you reach your hands underneath his shirt to feel his stomach. eunseok brings a hand to push hair behind your ear. he uses his thumb to wipe the spit off your glossy lips. he slowly prods his thumb into your mouth and you part your lips just enough to take his thumb inside. eunseok smiles as he lightly shakes his head to move hair out of his face.

“can i fuck you baby?” 

stranger!sungchan x fem. reader | 1.3k words

contains: (implied) hookup

you hated frat parties. you hated the perpetually sticky floors, you hated the awful music selection, you hated how loud and dirty it was. but on a friday night in a college town, going to a frat house was one of the few things you could do. so you put on your beaters and put on a simple outfit to make the trek to fraternity row. 

you and your friends decided on going to a frat you hadn’t been to before. the man at the door let you in and instantly you were overwhelmed with everything you hated. there was already a spill on the floor immediately when you walked in. you saw a very intense game of beer pong happening on a table. you recognized some of the boys from around campus, but you were drawn to a boy you hadn’t seen before. you would’ve known if you had seen him before, his height above everyone else in the room. you watched him skillfully land the ball into the cup each time it was his. turn. he cleared three cups at once, you were embarrassed to say you were impressed with his talent of cup pong.

the night went along and you constantly were stealing glances his way. you thought it was going unnoticed until he came up to you and your friends huddled on a couch you refused to sit all the way on.

“hey sungchan.’ your friend said to him.

“hey, how are you?” he asked.

“i’m good. this is a good friend of mine by the way.” your friend said pointing at you. you look at sungchan and awkwardly reached to shake his hand. he laughs as he gives you a handshake. he doesn’t have a weak grip, shaking your hand with confidence.

“it’s nice to meet you. i’m sungchan.” he says. after realizing he has already been introduced he rubs the back of his neck. it’s funny seeing someone so tall get flustered. your friend group is nice to him and he hangs around you guys for some time, joinging the conversation and laughing along with your group.

“im going to get some chips downstairs. do you guys want anything?” sungchan asks getting up from the couch. your friends tell him to bring up a few things, and you offer to help with carrying things up the stairs.

sungchan leads the way down the stairs to the basement. there is another gathering going on down there, with some of the other people in the frat playing games on the switch. the music booms from the first floor, and they yell at eachother while playing a very intense game of mario kart.

“you’re trash. you’re trash.” one of the boys say. sungchan laughs as he watches them play, all of them fluctuate and exchange first place.

“sungchan we do not want you to join, by the way.” another one of them say. all of the boys playing mario kart laugh. you’re not sure why they are opposed to sungchan playing mario kart, but you can assume he is naturally too good at the game and they don’t want to lose. sungchan hands you a bag of chips and you open them, eating and watching the intense game of mario kart unfold. 

“do you play?��� sungchan asks you.

“a little bit. i’m pretty crazy on my motorcycle.” you say. sungchan laughs at you as he takes some chips from your bag.

“we will have to play together in the future then.” sungchan says, smiling.

you sit on the washer machine as sungchan leans on the dryer next to you. you tell him about your interests and he listens intently. he asks you how you met your friends and you tell him you just kind of gravitated towards her. sungchan understands as he explains that’s kind of how he found his way to the fraternity, hanging out with some of the members turned into him getting an official invitation but he declined. you were surprised he didn’t join the fratenity, but sungchan told you he didn’t want to rush or be a part of the organization. he just enjoyed being with his friends and hanging out sometimes at parties. but he mostly enjoyed sleeping in his bed, something he would not be able to do if he had joined.

you guys finish a bag of chips together before moving onto another one. you go through what seems like half the variety pack as you guys talk about a little bit of everything. you unfortunately share no classes together, but sungchan tells you he is more than happy to hang out with you on days you both don’t have classes to continue to talk. you talk even after his friends finish their game and go upstairs to join the party. you continue talking about your future career paths and why you chose your major as the music upstairs stops. 

your friends come down, confused as to why they never got the chips sungchan offered to grab. he rubs the back of his neck again as he apologizes. you are able to give him your number as you leave the frat with your friends, content with how you spent your friday.

nsfw

you don’t even make it off the lawn of the fraternity before sungchan is texting you.

is it too presumptuous to ask you which dorm you stay at? 

you smile as you type in the large co-ed dorm on campus.

what a coincidence. i also live in that dorm. 

i live on the sixth floor in a double. you text him. you try not to be too desperate with dropping the hints. you see the three dots appear.

i live on the eighth floor in a single.

is it too presumptuous if i ask to come over? you text back.

no not at all :) give me twenty minutes.

you try not to laugh as you see sungchan nearly sprint out the fraternity on a different path—the shortcut to your dorm. you also found yourself moving a little faster towards the dorm, trying to herd your group of tipsy friends back to their separate dorms.

you didn’t bother going to your room. you knew your dormmate was knocked out around this time and you didn’t want to disturb her just to be in and out. you instead took the elevator to the eighth floor. sungchan was waiting outside his newly cleaned dorm, closing and locking the door behind you. he was in a different sweater and only his boxers. you could see the faint outline of his dick as he handed you his sweater to change into.

you went into his bathroom to change. you kept the panties off, putting them in his hand as he stood outside the bathroom waiting for you. he shamelessly felt your boobs over his sweater, looking down at you as you slipped your hands under his shirt. he tapped on your ass and you jumped up. he held you with ease while carrying you to his bed. he sat against the headboard as you swivel your hips against his hardening erection.

“saw you looking at me all night.” sungchan says. his hair looks fluffy and his eyes are soft, contradicting the knowing tone in his voice.

“can you blame me?” you say, pressing your hips a little harder into him.

“should’ve just told me you wanted me baby, we could’ve been doing this way earlier.” sungchan smiles as he kisses your collarbone, then your neck. he puts his hands on your back and pulls you into him, helping you grind you bare pussy on his clothed dick.

“i’m here now. that’s what matters.” you say simply. you pull your arms into his sweater, getting ready to take it off. he moves his hand to grip the bottom of the sweater, holding it in place.

“keep this on for me, yeah?” sungchan says before resuming his kisses on your neck.

[k-dokja]

IT’S NO BIG DEAL — It's a little Big Deal actually.

Summary: You should meet his new friends... all two of them.

"What the hell is this?"

Arguably, he doesn't know if you'd look scarier or less scary without the huge knife you're waving. He has seen you beating people, some of them go out cold with only a kick to the face.

"Not only you went out and got caught up in gang fights, but you also brought back your unruly cohorts to my kitchen? Do you have no fear of death?"

Brad whispers next to him, "She called us unruly cohorts."

"She was raised well," Jake whispers back, "her vocabulary is more developed than us."

"I'm more terrified of the fact that she got us on our knees immediately," Jason hushes back at them, "Who is this girl? Why have you brought us to our deaths?"

Jake throws him a glance with a small smirk on his lips, "She's my future wife. Be nice to her, she'll be your future boss lady."

Jason opens his mouth but snaps it shut when you speak up. "Will you three stop whispering among each other and answer me already?"

With a pacifying smile, Jake raises his hand and gives you an imploring look. "We were hanging out after school and I mentioned to them how I often helped you cook. Hence..."

"Hence you brought them here to freeload?" You raise the knife and Jake flinches back. He knows he's in no real danger, but on some base levels of instinct, his mind's screaming at him to cower and run.

"When you put it like that, it sounds bad," his grin is strained, and he feels cold sweat running down his neck, "you mentioned wanting to test new recipes and I brought you new test subjects, that's all."

Immediately, Jason whips his head to stare at him. "That sounds even worse!"

Jake only grins further, like he didn't throw his friends under the bus a moment earlier. At least, you no longer look mad. You're mulling over his suggestion even, that look on your face when you contemplate is adorable.

Then you glare at him again, "Fine, but you better pull your weight," you say, "I'm not feeding you lots for free."

Brad and Jason are both staring at him now, but he ignores their wide eyes and gets back up on his feet. "As you command, my lady," Jake nods at his friends to follow his lead. After some reluctance, they follow.

You are quick with your delegation around the kitchen, he guesses that comes from your experience commanding him. He doesn't mind, making it go smoother without any unnecessary bickering. After listening to your precise instructions, Jason begins to dice the vegetables while Brad works to season the meat.

Jake has the easier task of helping you knead some dough. "What are we making?" He asks midway through his task, vaguely realizing he doesn't know what he's working on.

"I was going to make pot roast but since your friends probably want to eat sooner, I'm going to make roasted beef with vegetables," you say, "I'm reheating the stew I made yesterday and the rice only needs to be fried, I'll make tuna salad later. That should be quick to prepare."

He snorts. Even with your earlier scolding, you are making enough food to feed the three of them anyway. "Then what are these dough for?"

You throw him a perfunctory glance, "What else? Desserts."

Jake snickers but says nothing in response. Maybe he should have because his silence only leaves space for Jason to butt in. “So, how long have you two been dating?”

He can hear the record scratching in your head. From your expression alone, he knows your head must’ve blanked the moment you heard the question. Unlike you, Jake has no problem with the question. He could’ve taken the initiative to answer it, but he didn’t. Selfishly, he wants to hear the answer from you, even if it’s a denial.

“We aren’t dating,” you frown, “what gives you that impression?”

Jason fumbles, “Well, Jake said—”

Jake coughs loudly, cutting in. “It’s easy to misunderstand, the two of us often spend time with each other,” he hopes his explanation would temper any unfortunate outcome for him, “others can get the wrong idea.”

“Really?” You ask, nonplussed. Somehow, he’s disappointed by your quick recovery from the shock of the situation. “Guess that makes sense.”

Jake, on another hand, turns to Jason and pantomimes zipping his lips shut. He puts on a pleasant smile when you turn back with the pot of stew in your hands, his face is the picture of innocence. In his peripheral vision, he notices Brad clasping his hands in prayers. For who, he can't tell.

Thankfully, you notice none of that and what remains of the cooking session goes on without another noticeable hitch.

There are two things Jake predicted when he brought Jason and Brad over to your place. One of them is that they will see you and fall in love within three seconds because if that happened to him, then no reason why they should be infallible to your wily charm. The second thing is more plausible and amusing all the same, all it takes is for them to eat one bite of your cooking and they'd be heads over heels for you too.

He wouldn't blame them if they never want to leave afterwards. You're simply that irresistible.

Since the previous outcome didn't happen due to your unbridled rage, Jake has a pleased smile on his lips when the boys change their entire demeanour the moment they begin to eat. It's like watching someone actualizing their enlightenment in real-time. Fascinating and wild in equal measure, he can't say he doesn't enjoy watching it.

"So?" Jake asks the question you want to ask but is too polite to mention. You focus on your food, but he knows you're listening because there's a small smile on your lips when Jason answers.

"Holy shit," Jason gawks at him, "you get to eat like this every day?"

Jake grins, "Only when she feels generous enough to grace me with her blessing."

You stick your tongue out at him but the smile on your face when you look back down at your food tells him all. It has been a nice idea bringing Brad and Jason over, even if he did spring it on you out of nowhere.

He could've spent the remainder of the meal watching you, but he knows there are far more productive things he can do. Jake turns to Brad, who has been silent the whole time. Getting his opinion would be a good idea, too. Even if—

"Hey! Eat faster! Brad is eating everything!"

By the end of the meal, Jason and Brad have volunteered for dishes and cleaning duty. You sit at the dining table to monitor them, if only because you don't want anything to happen to your family's chinas. Jake takes the chance to sit back, too. He would love to lend a helping hand, but three would be a crowd.

Besides, he enjoys the chance to talk with you without the interlopers.

"You don't mind?"

He nods at his new friends milling around the kitchen. It'd be a moment before you give him your answer, but the wait is worth it because he's warm all over now. "Not really," you say, "I'd have preferred you giving me a head up so I can prepare better but... it's nice to see you hanging out with friends. You've been hanging out alone for so long."

Jake snorts, "I wasn't hanging out alone, I had you."

"I can't be your only friend, Jake," you chuckle, "'sides, we don't even go to the same school or study in the same grade, it's nice to see you having friends who have more in common with you."

"You and I have plenty in common," he says, "like... we live in the same neighbourhood."

You roll your eyes but your smile is affectionate when you look at him, "Yeah, and once you moved away after you finished school, we'll no longer be friends?"

"You make it sound bad," he laughs softly, "I won't let that happen."

"Mhm, whatever," you hum. "They seem nice, I hope the three of you will stay friends for long. It's better to have many people watching your back since you get into trouble all the time."

He can't help but grin, "Do I seem that unruly in your eyes?"

You arch an eyebrow at him, "Do you want to hear the truth? It will hurt your feeling."

"Please spare me then, my fair lady," he pleads mockingly, "I can only take so much of your cruelty."

Caught in the little bubble he has made with you, Jake fails to overhear the conversation his new friends are making behind his back. All the better because if either of you heard it, he wouldn't know how to play it off without lying.

"...He's whipped."

"He's definitely whipped."

[nebulousbrainsoup]

comfortable | l.sm

🌸 SUMMARY: it's been a year since you and your best friend have seen each other. while the day may look the exact same, he can tell you are not. as always, you find comfort in his open arms and wise words. 🌸 PAIRING: best friend!dk x reader 🌸 GENRE: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort 🌸 AU/TROPE INFO: non-idol au, unrequited love 🌸 WORD COUNT: 1.8k 🌸 WARNINGS: just some language and pining, nothing much else! 🌸 RATING: PG 🌸 A/N: hahaha i'm self soothing with fanfiction again! huge shout out to @hwaightme for sending me the song that inspired this fic (Comfortable - Lauv) and 10 cherry blossom photos with nothing but the prompt "bittersweet realizations." beautiful dividers by @saradika-graphics! 🌸 masterlist | join my taglist | buy me a coffee? suffer tag: @pyeonghongrie-main

It was an inevitable fact of life, it seemed, that despite any earnestness put behind them at their inception, childhood promises could not help but be broken. It had been a year since Seokmin had seen you, the best friend he promised to spend every day with countless times through your youth. You had both protested against the gentle warnings from your families that adult life was difficult, busy, and often drove people apart at least physically, if not emotionally. Daily after school adventures had morphed quickly into weekly video chats and promises of monthly visits home as you both went off to university. By the time your first rounds of midterms hit, you had decided texting as much as possible and calling to catch up monthly had to be enough to sustain your friendship.

There had been a looming emptiness in both of your lives with the adjustment, one Seokmin was blatantly aware was in the shape of you. 

You had filled the void with coursework and a bit of dating here and there, oblivious and confused when no one and nothing filled the hole entirely.

To the best of your abilities, you still texted daily and called when you could, but with budding careers and the time zone differences you found yourselves in, no matter how small, it was difficult. Circumstances and responsibilities piled atop each other and before either of you knew it, it had been a year—almost to the day—since either of you had seen each other or spoken for more than thirty minutes at a time. But promises made in adulthood were ones with knowledge and logic behind them, leaps and bounds easier to keep than the rose-colored naivety of adolescence, so you made certain to keep the one you had made the last time you were here.

“We’re coming next year. Barring any life threatening emergencies, of course. If we request work off now and plan everything else around this, we can make sure we see each other at least once a year.”

Last year had been a nearly identical day to this one, the sky a similar pale blue and the cherry blossoms a soft pink as though they were making up for the lack of clouds above them. The late March air was still chilly, leaving each of you curling further into your sweaters and clutching a warm drink to your chest as you wandered through the park in search of the other. Seokmin was fighting the swarm of butterflies you always seemed to awaken within his stomach, resisting the urge to quicken his pace in hopes of finding you sooner. A soft smile tugged at his lips as last year’s chastising came back to him, “You passed me like three times, then! Slow down and look, Minnie, aish.”

The crowds seemed to part on cue as he blinked back to the present, his soft smile spreading into a grin for a brief moment before it fell again. Even from a distance and amongst the meandering crowds, he knew today would be different than the year previous, and his heart ached as he made his way toward you.

Last time, you had been looking for him with just as much urgency and excitement as he had you, spinning aimlessly and ignoring the confused and disgusted looks anyone else threw your way. You had spotted him at the same time as he had you, as though zeroing in on each others’ presence, and skipped into his open arms, joyous shouts and giggles echoing from you both. Your eyes had shone as your smile crinkled them when you finally broke apart, and Seokmin had wanted nothing more than to sweep you back into his arms and kiss you breathless. He had stopped himself, instead pulling you in for another quick hug and asking after the partner you’d texted him about a month prior. You were full of life before and brightened even further as you gushed about them and your loyal best friend swallowed down the pieces of his shattering heart.

Today, you looked like a small storm cloud had taken residence above you, shoulders slumped forward as you slowly turned and scanned the crowd. Seokmin’s heart broke all over again. He tugged the corners of his lips up into his signature grin as your tired eyes found his, a weak smile gracing your pretty face for a fleeting moment. He softened a bit as he swallowed bile, still holding his arms open and raising his brows in question and invitation. 

It looked like the weight of the world lifted from your shoulders as you closed the distance between you in a few short strides and threw your arms around his waist. He let his forced smile drop as he pressed his nose into your hair and bundled you tightly to him. He clung to you nearly as hard as you did to him, hands roaming soothingly over your back. The pair of you stood there in the middle of the path, swaying lightly, until the pointed nudging and shoving of passersby became too much for your balance to bear. 

When you separated, he couldn’t help himself. His smile did not return, concern etched into his furrowed brow as he asked, “What’s the matter, Y/N-ie?” 

Seokmin watched in real-time, throat tightening, as the weight of the world fell back across your shoulders. Your bottom lip quivered, leaving him grasping his cup tightly to keep himself from smoothing out the twitch with his thumb. 

“Can we find somewhere quieter first?” You murmured, shifting awkwardly on your feet. 

He nodded, freeing one of his hands from its death grip to tug your own into its hold. “Bench time, then.” 

The further away from the crowds he guided you, the more your weariness seemed to set in. You were uncharacteristically silent and, in his worry, so was your usually-bubbly companion. By the time you were settled on opposite sides of your favorite bench in the park, he could tell the dam in front of your emotions was close to shattering.

Sure enough, everything came out within minutes. The little spats and arguments you’d attributed to “growing pains” as you settled in with your new partner had not gone away in the slightest, evolving into nearly weekly fights over the same three topics, each of you trying to shoulder the blame alone. One miscommunication piles on after another, and by the time you’ve finished, Seokmin feels some of your weariness like its his own, his heart aching to see you hurt.

“I just feel like I’ve hit a wall,” you sighed, head lolling back onto the bench. “I’ve tried everything. I’ve asked them time and time again to just tell me when they don’t know what’s the matter and to tell me what’s wrong when they do because not knowing fucks me up more than knowing, you know? But they won’t, so I always go into any ‘discussion’ a little pissed because it’s another case of them keeping shit from me and me pushing too hard to get them to just respect my boundaries and—”

“It sounds like you’re both walking on eggshells to keep the other happy,” he cut in, watching as your mouth snapped shut.

“That’s… yeah, maybe,” you sighed, silence falling between you again. “Have you ever been so in love with someone that you would do anything to make them happy?”

“Yes.” 

The speed of his answer startled you, and you snapped back to look at him with a suspicious frown. “We’re talking about that later. I’m offended that I don't know about this person.” Seokmin huffed a sigh, rolling his eyes and hiding his sad smile behind a sip of his drink. “It’s like… I want to do everything I can to make them happy, but nothing is enough.”

“I’m no therapist, and I know I’m not exactly a relationship expert,” he hummed, “but you need to ask yourself why you’re still putting yourself through this. Do you really want things to work out? Do they? Are you both willing to put in the work to actually make it happen?” Your eyes fell to the ground, lips pursing in thought, and the sight tugged at his heartstrings. “If the answer to any of those is no, then you’re probably just staying with them because they’re comfortable and familiar, and that’s not healthy.”

You swallowed thickly and your bottom lip shook again, and Seokmin wanted nothing more than to take his words back if he was going to be the one to make you cry. His jaw dropped open to offer an apology, but before the words could leave his mouth, you were meeting his gaze with renewed softness and energy. He released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding.

“When did you get so wise, Dokyeom?” you teased, a pretty, bittersweet little smile pulling at your lips. “I’ll think about it tomorrow. Today is meant for you and me.”

With a deep breath and a final swig of his now-cold drink, he hopped up to his feet in front of you, extending a hand. “Then let the distractions commence! I heard there’s a new convenience store around the corner. We can go grab snacks and have a little picnic!”

You laughed, full and bright, for the first time today, and Seokmin felt his heart mend, just a stitch. “Ah, what did I do to deserve you? That sounds perfect.”

Clicking his tongue in disapproval, your best friend reached down and snatched your hand, pulling you to stand beside him. “You don’t have to do anything to deserve me; you’re stuck with me. It’s part of the DK package, remember? You deal with all of this,” he dropped your hand to spin in a circle, arms thrown wide, “and in return, I am at your beck and call.” He finished with a flourish, bowing deeply before straightening up and grinning brightly.

Once more you were laughing at his antics, and he felt the tightness in his chest lighten, only to return as a flash of something, unfamiliar and curious, flashed in your eyes as they flickered over his body. “I guess that was the deal, huh? Still, I stand by my statement. You really are the best, Lee Seokmin.”

He huffed a sigh, eyes flickering to the ground as he was rendered speechless at your words. “Well, thank you. Now, can we quit the sappy stuff and move onto the food?”

You grinned, nodding eagerly as you started down the path ahead of him. “If we eat as much as we did last time, though, you may have to pick me up and carry me back home.”

Seokmin let his earnestness show in his expression as he smiled softly at the back of your head. “Always.”

TAGLIST: @justhere4kpop @tastymintchocolate @bahng-chrizz @elllisaaa @jjeongddol @buzzkillem @atinyinateezverse @hooniewnderland @yessa-vie @unlikelysublimekryptonite @kangnina

© March 2024 nebulousbrainsoup | all rights reserved. reposting and translating of author’s work is prohibited.

[svnoohe4rts]

fuck buddies, park sunghoon x reader

↳ pairing: sunghoon x fembodied!reader

↳ word count: 5,5k

↳ summary: park sunghoon never meant to fall in love with his fuckbuddy, yet he did. ↳ a/n: oh my the ending is so rushed I’M SORRY …..

↳ warnings: smut! minors dni, choking, dom!sunghoon, sub!reader, curse words, names such as slut etc (lemme know if there’s more i should add)

Stupid, stupid Park Sunghoon. He was stupid for violating the first rule of being fuck buddies, he was stupid for even thinking for a split second he would be able to maintain a relationship with you, a relationship where the two of you were nothing more than friends with benefits. 

It was supposed to be simple, so why was Sunghoon struggling? All he had to do was follow one simple rule. No emotional attachment, one stupid rule, yet Sunghoon had trouble trying to find the will to even try following it. It was like his mind had already been made up the second you two agreed to become friends with benefits, almost like his mind was already set on the fact that he would not follow the only rule that came with being friends with benefits. Stupid fucking Park Sunghoon.

It wasn’t exactly like you made it easier for him either, even though you had no clue about the way he felt. If you knew the way his heart would skip a beat every time you snuggled closer to him after sex, resting your head on his bare chest; or the way he’d be impatiently waiting by his phone every Saturday night so he wouldn’t miss when you called, you’d definitely would not still be sleeping with him. Because of that one dumb rule, the one fuck buddy law Sunghoon had violated when he fell in love with you.

He wished he would’ve set more rules. No cuddling after sex, no staying the night, no messaging each other if it’s not about meeting up, and especially not getting to know each other. But of course, he didn’t set those rules, thinking he’d actually be able to just be your fuck buddy; and look where that got him. It took a while for Sunghoon to even realize he had developed feelings for you, feelings that weren’t welcome in friends with benefits type of relationships; feelings that weren’t sexual attraction. It wasn’t until he found himself stroking your cheek as you peacefully slept right next to him, a small smile forming on his lips as he admired your features he realized he fucked up. Not only did he realize at that moment he fucked up, but that he fucked up hard. Real hard.

No matter how much he tried to distance himself from you after coming to the realization that he had fallen in love with you, at the end of the day he always managed to end up in your bed, above you, his lips attached to your neck as he listened to your sweet, broken whimpers coming from underneath him. Sunghoon quickly realized that no matter how hard he tried, he simply couldn’t stay away from you. So he made a promise to himself, that you would never know about his feelings in hopes that maybe one day he’d come to his senses and get over the stupid crush he had on you.

Or at least that’s what he thought. ‘’What?’’ Sunghoon managed to let out after a moment of silence, unable to look away from you. You nodded in response, a small smile plastered on your lips. ‘’You heard me. I got accepted into the school,’’ You excitedly exclaimed. Normally, Sunghoon would be beyond happy for you. He, out of all people, knew how hard you had worked to get into the school of your dreams; working late at night to save up money and the nights you weren’t working, you were studying. But as you told him the good news, he could feel his heart breaking. Maybe he would’ve been happy for you if the school wasn’t located across the country.

‘’So, you’ll be moving?’’ He declared, trying to hide his clenched fits by shoving both his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. Your smile slowly faded off your lips, rolling your eyes in response. ‘’I thought you’d be happy for me,’’ You mumbled, your gaze meeting the floor. Sunghoon mentally cursed at himself as he saw your reaction, letting out a small sigh as his hands left his back pockets. ‘’Y/N, of course I’m happy for you,’’ He reassured you, his big hands grabbing your soft ones; causing you to look back up at him. He gave you a small smile as he stroked the back of your hands using his thumbs, trying his best to convince you he was truly happy for you. And to his surprise, his desperate attempt to reassure you worked by the way a small smile crept back onto your lips.

Of course, Sunghoon was happy for you. But that didn’t change the fact that his heart felt like it was about to burst any minute, an aching feeling taking over his chest as the words trailed off your lips. The worst part was that there was no way he’d let you see how hard he was trying to hold his tears back at that point, because then you’d figure it all out. Which fuck buddy would ever cry finding out they’re moving? You’d figure out that Sunghoon fell in love with you, his fuck buddy, months ago; which was Sunghoons biggest secret at this point. So he had no other choice than to just suck it up, and make you believe he wasn’t phased by the fact that you were moving across the country.

‘’I was just making sure, you know?’’ He mumbled, not taking his eyes off of you. But the moment Sunghoon suddenly felt you wrap your arms around his neck, it suddenly became much harder to keep his cool. ‘’Thank you Sunghoon,’’ You murmured against this neck, causing Sunghoons heart to break even more. He let out a sigh as he wrapped his arms around your waist, the smell of your shampoo filling his nose as he rested his head on top of yours; making it even harder for the boy to keep calm.

In moments like these, Sunghoon wondered if maybe you felt the same way about him. The way you’d hug him every time the two of you saw each other, your gentle touch giving him goosebumps; he found it incredibly hard to believe you hugged everyone the same way you hugged him. ‘’Sorry to interrupt,’’ A voice suddenly exclaimed, causing Sunghoon to snap out of his thoughts as he felt your hands leave his neck. ‘’Heeseung! Guess what,’’ You excitedly let out, causing Sunghoon to spin around. As he watched you throw your arms around your friend's neck the exact same way you had done to him a minute ago, he realized he probably wasn’t that special after all.

Sunghoon tried his best to avoid you for the rest of the week. He stopped replying to your messages, he refused to acknowledge you whenever he passed you in the school hallways; all in a desperate attempt to spare himself from the heartbreak he would be experiencing if he didn’t distance himself; like he wasn’t already breaking his own heart trying to avoid you.

But as Friday night rolls around and he finds himself laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling; he comes to the realization that ignoring you probably hadn’t been the best idea. His friends had tried to convince him to join them for a night out, but Sunghoon had declined, claiming he wasn’t feeling too well. Which was true to some extent, but there was no way he’d tell his friends he was heartbroken because he had fallen in love with his fuck buddy who was now moving across the country in a couple of weeks; even the thought of it sounded pathetic to Sunghoon. Instead, he just told them he felt sick, probably due to the stress of school finishing in a couple of weeks. 

A buzzing sound caused Sunghoon to snap out of his thoughts, blinking as he realized he had zoned out; his eyes dry. He let out a groan as he reached for his phone, placing one of his hands on his forehead as he picked up the phone, not even bothering to look who was calling him. ‘’Jay, man, I’m not in the mood to hang out,’’ He muttered as he closed his eyes, rubbing them as he furrowed his eyebrows. Suddenly, a giggle was heard from the other line, causing Sunghoon to open his eyes; his eyebrows still furrowed. ‘’I’m not Jay, stupid.’’ He recognized your soft voice immediately, causing him to sit up straight. ‘’Y/N?’’ He asked, causing you to chuckle. ‘’Bingo,’’ You replied, causing Sunghoon to mentally slap himself.

All of his week-long hard work, thrown out the window, just like that. ‘’Why are you calling?’’ He mumbled, nibbling on his bottom lip as he waited for you to reply. ‘’Can I come over?’’ Your question caused Sunghoon to shut his eyes once again, biting his bottom lip in frustration as he realized he couldn’t let you come over. If he wanted to spare himself from the worst heartbreak ever known to mankind, he had to say no. ‘’I’m not feeling too well tonight Y/N,’’ He let out, trying his best to sound calm as he licked his lips; wanting to punch himself in the face for declining. ‘’I understand,’’ You let out after a short silence, causing Sunghoon to frown as he tried to figure out if it was disappointment lingering in your voice. ‘’Feel better soon, Hoon,’’ You let out, not a single trace of disappointment found in your now cheerful voice. Sunghoon muttered a ‘thank you’ before throwing the phone on top of the bedside table beside him, covering his face using both hands. ‘’Fuck,’’ He exclaimed as the feeling of shame washed over him, one of his fists colliding with the sheets of his bed.

The following Monday Sunghoon deeply regretted not coming with his friends, listening to the group of boys brag about their hectic Friday night. ‘’You should’ve seen the way we had to drag Jake out of there,’’ Jay muttered, gazing over at his friend who was sitting across the table. ‘’Shut the fuck up,’’ Jake mumbled, avoiding his friend's gaze; a chuckle escaping Sunghoon’s lips. ‘’I’d rather not actually,’’ Sunghoon replied, shifting his gaze over to Heeseung.

Heeseung had been quiet ever since the group arrived at the school cafeteria. His eyes had been glued to his phone the entire time, a small smile appearing on his lips every now and then; causing Sunghoon to furrow his eyebrows as yet another smile appeared on the older boy's lips, followed by a small chuckle. ‘’What’s the deal with him?’’ Sunghoon asked, looking over at the other two boys. Jay looked over at Heeseung before letting out a sigh, rolling his eyes. ‘’He apparently had the best sex of his life,’’ Jay mumbled, taking a sip of his drink. ‘’They’ve been texting each other ever since, he’s been like this since Friday.’’

A chuckle emerged from Sunghoons throat, playfully hitting his older friend; causing Heeseung to look up at him. ‘’Why haven't you told me about the best sex of your life?’’ Sunghoon asked, raising one of his eyebrows playfully; a smirk plastered on his lips. A tint of red washed over Heeseung’s cheeks, causing Sunghoon’s smirk to become even bigger. ‘’Don’t tell me you like her already, do you even know her name?’’ Jake chipped in, leaning back in his chair as he spoke. Sunghoon brought the straw that came with his drink towards his lips, raising both his eyebrows in anticipation as he waited for Heeseung to answer.

‘’Fuck off, of course I know her name,’’ Heeseung muttered, throwing an empty candy wrapper at Jake in an attempt to defend himself. A chuckle was heard from Sunghoon as he shook his head, happy that his friend had finally gotten his dick wet. ‘’It’s Y/N.’’

Sunghoon could’ve sworn that his heart stopped beating the moment he heard your name leave Heeseungs lips. He almost choked on his drink, clearing his throat in a desperate attempt to conceal the fact that he almost just choked. Surely it just had to be a joke, right? There was no way you had actually fucked Heeseung, right? He could hear his friends talking, but Sunghoon couldn’t bring himself to listen. ‘’Dude, we need to leave in like five minutes, finish your food,’’ Jay let out after a while, pushing Sunghoons food tray closer to him.

Suddenly, Sunghoon didn’t feel like eating.

You hadn’t heard or seen Sunghoon for days after your last phone call. A week had now passed and graduation was only a week away, another week closer to you moving across the country. You’d be lying if you said you haven’t thought about Sunghoon, because you had. A little too much. For some reason, a reason you couldn’t exactly pinpoint, he always found his way back into your mind; no matter what you were doing.

You had been sitting on your bedroom floor, folding your clothes as you were packing your bags; getting ready to move when suddenly an unfamiliar shirt fell out of your closet. As you held up the white t-shirt, way too big to be yours, you let out a small gasp as you realized who it belonged to. It was Sunghoons shirt, one of many he had let you borrow after spending the night at his house; forgetting to return it. You quickly grabbed your phone which was laying on the floor beside you, scrolling through your contacts until you eventually found Sunghoons name.

Hey, I found one of your shirts while packing, do you wanna come get it or should I just throw it out?

You were surprised to see that he read your message immediately, and even more surprised to see him typing within seconds after you tapped send.

I’ll come get it now.

He was there in less than 10 minutes, which was normal considering the fact that he only lived a couple of blocks away from your house. As you made your way towards the door a feeling of nervousness bubbles up inside of you, a feeling you had never felt around Sunghoon before; you were normally comfortable around him, so why were you feeling nervous all of a sudden? 

And there he was, dressed in his gray sweatpants and matching hoodie; leaning towards the wall of your house, his black hair covering his forehead. “Hi,” You let out, a small smile on your lips as you fiddled with the end of your shirt. “Hey.” He let out, not a single emotion lingering in his voice. You stared at him for a moment, confusion washing over you as he avoided your gaze; something he usually never did. “Can I come in?” He breathed after a moment, his eyes meeting yours. “Oh,” You mumbled as you took a step back, realizing you had been staring at him. “Yeah.”

The silence was almost eerie as Sunghoon sat down on your bed while you grabbed his shirt from your closet. “Here you go,” You mumbled as you handed him the shirt. Sunghoon just looked down at the shirt before grabbing it, his fingers grazing over yours; sending shivers down your spine. “Thanks.” He mumbled, placing the shirt in his lap. You couldn’t help but stare at him once again as he kept looking around, looking at anything but you. “I should get going, it’s quite late, but thank you for giving back my shirt,” He let out after a short, uncomfortable silence. He stood up, brushing his sweatpants as he started making his way towards the door.

“Sunghoon, wait,” You quickly let out, your hand grabbing his before you could even think. You could feel him tense up by your touch, causing him to look down at your hand before looking back up at you. “What’s wrong?” You asked, slightly furrowing your eyebrows as your eyes met his. He just stared at you for a moment, not a single emotion being displayed in his dark brown eyes. “Nothing’s wrong,” He mumbled as he snatched his hand away from you, letting his hand fall down by his side once again. “Don’t bullshit me.”

You could tell your words took him by surprise by the way his eyes widened, his eyebrows raised. You just kept staring at him, waiting for him to tell you what was wrong. But not a single word left the boy's mouth, the eerie silence returning. “Did I do something wrong? I’d much rather you tell me than have this weird situation happening,” You stated, biting your bottom lip in anticipation. “What do you mean, weird situation?” He asked, still not taking his eyes off you; the air growing more and more tense for each moment that passed. “Whatever this is, you ignoring me and then not even looking at me when you come over,” You replied, your eyebrows furrowed.

The chuckle that trailed off Sunghoons lips took you by surprise, not expecting him to laugh in a situation like this. He shook his head in disbelief as a small smile still lingered on his lips. “You should’ve thought about that before you fucked my best friend.” Your lips parted, but not a single word left your mouth. His words came as a surprise to you, your mind not being able to process what he just said. “What?” Was all you managed to get out, your voice low and almost shaky. At this point, you could feel his eyes burning into yours. “You heard me, you should’ve thought about that before fucking Heeseung.”

You had known both Sunghoon and Heeseung for about a year, being relatively close with both of them. The only difference was that Sunghoon was someone you slept with and Heeseung, well, he was just your friend. Until one drunken confession from his side and you being horny, that being said. “Sunghoon,” You breathed, your hands slightly shaking from the sudden shock. You didn’t know why you were so afraid of him finding out, you were only friends with benefits, after all. “So you have a nice night, Y/N,” Sunghoon mumbled as he began walking towards the door once again.

Had you known better, you probably wouldn’t have done what you did. And if Sunghoon hadn’t been the idiot he is, he probably wouldn’t have let what was about to happen actually happen. But as you watched him make his way towards the door, you couldn’t help but grab his hand once again, causing his steps to come to a halt. “Y/N, I swear to god,” Sunghoon muttered, becoming visibly agitated. But before he could continue his sentence, he suddenly felt your soft lips crash against his own. You placed your hands against his chest, squeezing your eyes shut as you hoped he’d kiss you back.

So when you felt his hands sneak around your waist, his lips hungrily moving against your own; you felt your whole body relax. You let out a whimper as he pulled you closer using the material of your shirt, his knuckles turning white from the amount of pressure he was using to grab your shirt. Your hands found their way towards his hair, slightly tugging at it as you stumbled backwards; lips still hungrily moving in sync as your back hit the wall behind you. “Fuck you,” Sunghoon hissed into your ear as he placed a sloppy kiss right underneath your ear, causing your eyes to flutter shut from the pleasure once again. He nibbled at your sensitive skin, his hands traveling down the sides of your body until he reached your ass; squeezing it. “Fuck you for doing this to me.” He mumbled against your skin, causing you to tilt your head to give him easier access.

As he sucked on your skin until it broke, a shaky moan left your mouth; your hands still tugging at his hair. A low groan escaped his lips as his hands continued exploring your body. He looked up at you, his eyes low as one of his hands found its way around your throat. “Bed, now.” He grunted, applying more pressure around your throat; causing you to nod eagerly.

If there was one thing you loved about sex with Sunghoon, it was definitely his way of asserting dominance. The way his eyes would turn dark and how his already deep voice would drop a few octaves, it was more than enough for you to get soaking wet. You quickly plopped down on your bed, watching him in anticipation as he made his way over to you. He grabbed your chin, forcing you to look up at him before swiping his thumb across your bottom lip. “You don’t think I deserve an apology, hm? For fucking my best friend?” You nodded in response, waiting in anticipation for his next move. He slowly pushed his thumb into your mouth, your tongue greeting it by coating it in saliva. A hiss left his mouth, the bulge in his pants growing as he watched you swirl your tongue around his thumb. “I fucking hate you,” He muttered as he pulled his thumb away, pulling his sweatpants down; moving closer to you.

You quickly got on your knees, pressing a soft kiss onto the skin above the waistband of his underwear; pulling his boxers down. His cock sprung up, hitting his abdomen; his tip leaking precum and begging for attention. You slowly grabbed his cock in your hand, looking back up at him. “Don’t play with me Y/N.” He warned, licking his bottom lip as he watched you slowly approach his hard cock. You only nodded in response as you stuck your tongue out, swirling it around the tip of his cock. Another hiss was heard from him as you gently licked the tip of his cock, his hand finding its way into your hair. You wrapped your lips around his red tip, slowly letting his length go down your throat as you tried fitting all of it into your mouth. Another groan was heard from Sunghoon as your nose touched the base of his cock, slowly guiding your mouth up and down using your hair. “C’mon baby, I know you can go faster than that,” He breathed as you slowly started bobbing your head back and forth.

And just like that, he felt you take all of him in your mouth once again, swirling your tongue around his cock before bobbing your head up and down once again. Sunghoon let his head fall backwards as his lips parted, a groan escaping his mouth. “Just like that,” He mumbled under his breath, grabbing your hair more aggressively; snapping his hips forwards. He could feel you gag against his cock, causing him to let out a moan; repeating his actions. Before you knew it, he was fucking your mouth. You looked up at him, tears filling your eyes as your eyes met his. “Such a slut,” He mumbled as he continued thrusting into your mouth, before suddenly pulling your mouth off his cock; leaving you gasping for air, saliva dripping off your chin.

Before you could protest, he quickly bent down and slammed his lips against yours; completely discarding the fact that there was saliva dripping off your face as he pushed his tongue into your mouth. You whimpered as you felt him take your bottom lip between his teeth, sucking on it harshly; your hair still wrapped around his fist as he forced your head back. “I want you naked, m’kay?” He hissed as he pulled away, leaving your lips bruised from the harsh kiss. You eagerly nodded in response as he let go of the grip he had on your hair, sitting down on your bed. You quickly got rid of your shirt and pants, a small groan leaving Sunghoons lips as your bare chest became exposed. “Not even wearing a bra, knowing I was coming over?” He groaned as he placed his hands on your waist, pulling you on top of him so you were hovering just above his crotch.

You desperately tried grinding your still clothed core against his painfully hard cock, but the grip he had on your waist only hardened as he noticed your desperate attempt. “You really think I’m gonna fuck you? After you went behind my back and fucked my best friend?” He chuckled, causing a whimper to leave your lips as you felt your walls clench around nothing. “Hoon, please,” You whispered, your eyes meeting his dark ones.

A small smirk formed on his lips as he listened to you begging, his eyes now scanning your body. One of his hands slowly made its way down your body while the other one kept a steady grip on your waist, preventing you from grinding on his hard cock. His hand slowly reached your now soaked underwear, using his thumb to swipe across your still clothed clit. The sudden touch made you gasp, jolting your hips forwards; desperate for more. Another chuckle left Sunghoons lips, shaking his head. “I thought I said I wanted you naked, so how come you’re still wearing your panties?” He tilted his head, raising one of his eyebrows. His hand gripped your hips, his nails digging into your skin as he further prevented you from grinding against his crotch. ‘’Not even gonna reply, hm? Turn around for me.’’

You quickly did as you were told, plopping down between his legs; your back resting against his chest. You felt his hot breath tickling your neck, one of his hands gently stroking one of your inner thighs. “Who got you this wet? Was it Heeseung?” He whispered into your ear, causing you to quickly shake your head. “No,” You whimpered, feeling his plump lips pressing kisses against your neck. “Then who got you this wet?” He repeated his question, his hand slowly moving closer to your core which was now throbbing from the lack of attention. “You, you got me this wet Hoon,” You let out, a low chuckle escaping Sunghoons lips.

A sudden slap against your clothed core took you by surprise, causing your lower body to jolt forwards as a moan left your lips. “Let’s see if Heeseung could ever make you feel this good.” He didn’t even give you a chance to process his words before his hand sneaked inside your soaking panties, his finger running up and down your slit; collecting the wetness that was now almost dripping down your inner thighs. Another moan left your mouth as his fingers finally rubbed against your clit, your eyes shutting in pleasure. 

You knew no one could ever make you feel as good as Sunghoon. He practically knew your body like the back of his palm at this point, knowing exactly what to do in order for you to practically scream his name. ‘’So wet,’’ He murmured behind you, his fingers still rubbing circles over your clit. ‘’Need you, Hoon,’’ You managed to get out, practically grinding yourself against his fingers at this point. One of his hands reached for your breasts, pinching one of your nipples; feeling his cock twitch against your back as a moan left your mouth. Suddenly, you felt him push one of his fingers inside of you; your walls clenching around his digits as another moan escaped your lips. A groan was heard from the boy behind you as he slowly started thrusting his finger in and out of you. ‘’You’re so fucking tight, how are you supposed to take my cock?’’ He mumbled into your ear, pressing a sloppy kiss underneath it. ‘’More,’’ You whimpered, your pussy begging for more at this point.

Sunghoon didn’t even hesitate before sliding in yet another finger, stretching out your walls before slowly fucking you once again using his fingers. At this point you were a whimpering mess, grabbing onto his biceps as you watched his fingers thrusting in and out of you. ‘’You think anyone could ever make you feel like this?’’ Before you could even reply he curled his fingers, immediately hitting your g-spot; causing a loud moan to leave your mouth. ‘’No,’’ You moaned as his digits kept hitting your g-spot, feeling a knot in your stomach starting to form. ‘’You gonna cum all over my fingers, hm?’’ He groaned into your ear, his words turning you on even more; nodding your head as you felt your orgasm closing in on you.

Just as you felt the knot in your stomach come undone, his fingers suddenly slipped out of you. A shaky moan left your lips as you slammed your legs shut, tears threatening to leave your eyes as Sunghoon chuckled behind you. ‘’You really think I’m gonna let you cum tonight?’’ He whispered into your ear, ‘’Hoon,’’ You whimpered, desperate to reach your high at this point. ‘’Get those panties off right now and get on top of me and I’ll consider letting you cum.’’

You had never listened to someone faster in your entire life, quickly slipping your panties down your legs before getting on top of him. He leaned against the headboard of your bed, slowly stroking his cock which was now leaking precum and throbbing from the lack of attention. You straddled over his cock, his tip brushing against your wet entrance; a groan leaving Sunghoons lips as he lined the tip of his cock against your entrance. You looked up at him, placing your hands on his shoulder for support. He licked his bottom lip as his eyes met yours; his hands on your waist.

He didn’t even prepare you before slamming your hips down, causing him to fill you up immediately; a broken whimper leaving your throat. ‘’Fuck,’’ He groaned, throwing his head back from the pleasure washing over him. Before you could even get used to his grith, he quickly snapped his hips forwards once again; moans leaving your mouth as he stretched you out. His movements were quick and sharp, the sound of your wetness meeting his skin filling the room; combined with your loud moans. ‘’Tell me how good I’m fucking you,’’ He hissed as he continued pounding into you, one of his hands wrapping around your throat. ‘’You fuck me so good,’’ You moaned, your eyes meeting his. ‘’No one could ever fuck me as well you do,’’ You breathed; feeling his thrusts getting sloppier as his lips parted in pleasure. ‘’Damn right.’’ He groaned as he snapped his hips forwards, earning yet another loud moan from you. 

The familiar feeling of warmth once again started filling up your stomach, his thrusts bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm. ‘’Please let me cum Hoon,’’ You whimpered as he continued pounding into you, his hand still wrapped around your throat. ‘’Make a mess all over my cock baby,’’ He whispered, his sloppy thrusts telling you his orgasm was approaching as well. As the words left his mouth, you felt the knot come undone; almost screaming as you came all over his cock, seeing stars as pleasure washed over you. He suddenly pulled out, his warm seed spilling all over his lower stomach as he groaned in pleasure. He slowly loosened his grip around your throat, the only sound being the two fo you trying to catch your breath; almost collapsing on top of him. He pulled you towards him, pressing a warm kiss against your soft lips, earning one last moan from you.

You collapsed beside him after a moment, your whole body feeling numb as you tried catching your breath. You were too tired to even keep your eyes open, feeling the boy beside you stand up before exiting the room; heading towards the bathroom to clean himself up and get something to clean you up with.

But as he returned, your soft snores filled the room; a sigh escaping Sunghoons lips as he realized you had fallen asleep. He slowly approached you, sitting down beside you. He stroked your cheek, running his hand through your hair as a small smile spread across his lips. He pressed a kiss on top of your forehead before pulling the sheets over your body, staring at you for a moment. ‘’I wish you knew how much I loved you Y/N.’’

The morning sun peaked through your curtains, causing you to slowly open your eyes. A small sigh left your lips as you rubbed your eyes, looking over at the other side of the bed; expecting Sunghoon to lay by your side. But to your surprise, he was nowhere to be seen. ‘’Sunghoon?’’ You called out, your voice cracking as you furrowed your eyebrows. You waited for a second for the boy to reply, thinking maybe he was in the bathroom; but there was never a reply. You were left laying alone in your bed, with nothing but the memories from the previous night and your thoughts.

It was probably for the best anyways.

[visndcaitswhore]

AMAVI || Joseph Descamps (Mixte1963)

AMAVI (latin; The second-person singular imperfect of amare. Meaning: to love)

Veni   Vidi  Amavi

I came  I saw  I loved

The first day of school never made Gabrielle feel anxious; it was just school, after all. This time, however, she didn't want to be the first one in. She decided to let some time pass as she leaned on the wall of one of the buildings close to the school with a cigarette in her hand, watching a red-headed girl walk through the crowd of boys staring her down like she was some foreign entity. Scared to approach while also wanting to pounce.

"They are going to eat her alive," she mumbled to herself, her eyes never leaving the scene before her. Suddenly, she wished the cigarette break would last longer. But she tried not to back down; there was no point in feeling regret now that she was already here, and after she convinced her parents to allow her to try this out, Backing down wasn't something she ever did, anyway.

A few more girls gathered, greeting her as they passed her. It wasn't a big place; everyone knew almost everyone. Yet, when a blonde stopped next to her, Gabrielle realized she didn't know her. In fact, she had never seen her; if she had, she would remember simply because this girl had to be the most beautiful person she had ever met. Gabrielle wasn't ugly; everyone told her she was beautiful, but this girl was something entirely different.

"Are you going to attend here too?" the blonde girl asked, and Gabrielle had to blink a few times to stop her admiration before answering.

"Yes. Want to go in together?"

There was always one thing Gabrielle could depend on: that no girl wanted to be alone in a place surrounded by strange boys. And, like she expected, the girl nodded. Gabrielle nodded with a smile, threw her cigarette away, and offered her elbow to hold on. "I'll be your chaperone," she joked at the girls confused expression. "I'm already wearing pants, after all."

The blonde looked down to confirm that she was indeed wearing light pants and a button-up short-sleeved shirt, accompanied by a smirk. Gabrielle knew she almost looked like a boy, and her mom only allowed her to wear them if she let her hair down and didn't act like a crude boy. Hence, her dark hair was half down.

Finally, the girl hooked her arm around her own with a hesitant smile. "The pants look good. I'm Annick"

"Gabrielle"

Walking inside the school was easier with company, and both girls—as if they had talked about it beforehand—held themselves pridefully, were self-assured, and chatted like they weren't fully aware that they had pulled the attention of everyone in the yard. The small walk consisted of talk such as 'I like your dress' or 'They look so stupid looking like that'.

"Marilyn Monroe and Jane Russell," mumbled a dark-haired girl when they finally reached the board to see their assigned classes and teachers.

The rest of the day was surely something; if Gabrielle had to use one word to describe it, she wouldn't be able to find it easily.

The first lesson was history with Mrs.Giraud. Climbing up the stairs, Gabrielle heard the red-haired girl tell the brunette that she wondered how bad Mrs. Giraud could be. "I heard she is a stuck-up bitch." Gabrielle said quietly, her pace matching theirs.

"Who told you that?" the brunette laughed.

"Someone from my neighborhood. He had some other words to use too, but I think I summed it up pretty well."

Soon she learned that the brunette was Simone, the new girl, and Michele, the butcher's daughter. She also learned that'stuck up bitch' wasn't enough to disappoint her teacher, who immediately shot her a look of shock and clearly disapproval when she spotted her attire. But she didn't say anything until she did.

Gabrielle found a seat at the back of the class and started getting settled, unaware of someone staring at her until they had all settled, and the teacher started talking when she spotted Annick at the front of the class. She was absolutely, totally, wholly scandalized by her seat next to a boy and promptly sent the boy to sit next to the 'boy with the long hair'.

It didn't take Gabrielle to realize she was talking about her, and her eyebrows shot up.

"In the list, I thought that we were getting five girls in this class. One of them turns out to be just a pretty boy." Mrs.Giraud spat out, and some laughed around.

"I'm pretty" Gabrielle mouthed

"She also called you a boy," said the boy who sat next to her.

"A pretty boy."

The boy that was sent to sit next to her was Henri Pichon, and he went to sit somewhere else the moment the next class rolled around. Latin, not her strong suite. History she could manage, but Latin not so much.

Annick, on the other hand, seemed to excel in that too, much to the displeasure of the teacher, who refused to call upon her even when she was the only one raising her hand. Gabrielle made a distasteful sound when the old man simply looked around like a lost donkey, trying his best to inspire a boy to raise his hand. And when one of them did raise his hand, he immediately gave him all his attention.

"I think the lady has raised her hand," the boy said, forcing the teacher's hand.

As Annick got up to say the answer, Gabrielle tried to subtly sneak a peek at the boy who was a few seats to her left as she moved her hair out of the way before quickly looking away when she made eye contact. Descamps was not someone she wanted to associate with during school hours, that was for sure. That is a testament she will circle back to at the end of the day, or even in five minutes.

A piece of paper started circling around the boys in class, and a boy got in trouble. Another reason to not even touch the papers Descamps gives around.

The rest of the day was calm, except for an incident at lunch hour, which of course involved Descamps. All the girls quickly realized he was one of the main troublemakers at the school and a constant annoyance. He was confident enough to present his art skills, but Simone shut that down easily, and Gabrielle added:

"Simone, don't be so hard on him. Poor thing has never seen real boobs before."

She winked when he glared at her.

Then the next hour rolled around. Catastrophic was one way to describe it. Descamps decides to concoct a prank on Michele, or maybe he was aiming at Simone. Gabrielle wasn't sure as she just watched him place a bucket of water on the door, which would fall on whoever opened it first.

"This is so stupid," she said, reaching to remove the bucket, only for Descamps to grab her hand and pull her aside.

"No, this is fun," he corrected, taking the extra measure of blocking the way with his body. Now, Gabrielle was tall, but he was at least half a head taller.

"You are going to get in trouble on the first day for being stupid," she said, pulling her hand back, aware of the fact that no one else seemed to do anything to stop him. A quick glance at Annick did her no good, as she also seemed reluctant to help out.

"Don't be a bore."

Not having enough time to do anything, Michele opened the door, and she was drenched in water. Gabrielle just shook her head. Some people laughed, some others just seemed sorry, and most of them focused their attention on Michele's chest. They couldn't see anything of value, just her bra, but to immature boys, that was enough.

Gabrielle went back to her seat when the English teacher entered the class, but not before she exchanged a glare with Descamps, who winked at her.

Bastard.

Now to the catastrophic part: no, Michele having her bra exposed to the whole class was not the catastrophic bit.

"Then Michele's brother came into the class. He started punching around, and Descamps got glass in his eye; he was bleeding a lot. They took him to the hospital; he might lose his eye, they said. And yeah, that's about it." Gabrielle smiled uneasily as her parents stared at her in shock, speechless. "Other than that, the day was pretty quiet."

"The boy lost his eye?" her dad asked.

"Maybe, yeah."

"Are you hurt?" Her mom's sharp eyes scanned her, inch by inch, for any scratch.

She shook her head.

No, she wasn't hurt. She had been walking to her seat when this happened, and someone pushed her to the side when Magnan started punching. She just watched, even when Descamps was on the ground, hand covering his eye to the Dean next to him.

"Joseph Descamps is the boy that lives right across from us, right? Your friend"

"Not my friend," she mumbled, closing her eyes in exasperation and falling back on the armchair.

"Weren't you together all the time a few years ago?"

Her dad, who just a week ago was swearing to God he had never seen these girls' Gabrielle was with, even though she had been hanging out with them for years and they had been to her house plenty, suddenly seemed to remember that one old friendship that has been almost completely dissolved.

She blinked, her nose wrinkled. "Yeah, like 2 years ago."

They almost kicked girls out of the school; there is no need to mention something like that. It might actually make her mother happy.

"I heard they almost banned girls from the school." Her mother quiped, trying not to sound too dissapointed at the fact it did not happen.

"So much for, uh." Her dad looked towards her to fill him in.

Gabrielle smiled. "Progressiveness."

Javier Blanc was a large man with a beard and a scary disposition. A man like that you would think was fit for sons, but alas, God gifted him girls—four, to be precise. In the last 15 years, since the birth of his oldest, he has heard it all, from 'Oh, maybe next time you will get lucky' to 'it's okay, girls are gifts'. Yet he listened to his girls rants and echoed them to the best of his understanding.

Her mother never really agreed with that disposition fully. Marie Blanc did, of course, want her daughters to become capable and marry good men, but she still wanted them to remain girls. So Gabrielle being taught boxing, being more inclined towards math, wearing pants, and walking with her hands in her pockets rubbed her the wrong way. Gabrielle, breathing alone, rubbed her the wrong way.

She didn't care when her younger three came inside the house with muddy shoes and clothes or when it was obvious her oldest showed more promise at violin than the rest did. They were babies, and they would continue to be her babies till they reached their 50s. Heck, Sophie was 13 years old already. Precisely two and a half years younger than Gabrielle.

Not that it hurt Gabrielle. It annoyed her that her mother never had anything purely good to say about her without a backhanded insult, but it didn't wound her. So she simply listened to her rant about Voltaire without saying much before deciding to go to bed.

"I have school tomorrow after all," with a snarky tone and a pointed look. Okay, maybe she wasn't the easiest child. Maybe she had a short fuse and held a grudge. That wasn't her fault. Her mother was like that, too.

Finally, alone in her room she couldn't resist to urge to pull back the curtain that covered her window, peeking at the room that also looked directly into her own from across the street. Descamps' room. Well, back then he was just 'Joseph' but it felt wrong to use his first name now. Gabrielle had been the one to stop calling for him to hang out, after all. But when they were kids, when their mothers would tack them in bed, the window would be their immediate destination. 

Even now, once in a while, they would throw cigarettes at each other if one of them had run short. 

There was no light in his room tonight, they must have kept him at the hospital for tonight. As Gabrielle was about to close the curtain, she spotted some movement in the darkness of his room that had her immediately shoot forward, ignoring the art supplies she had accidentally kicked since they had been resting on the wall. Her eagerness was something that would torture her for a few days, and she would thank her lucky stars that no one saw that. 

Especially when she realised that the movement was Descamps' mother, who seemed to be packing some of his clothes to take to the hospital when she suddenly froze, and by the fact that she put her hand on her face, Gabrielle could only guess that the woman was crying or she was just exhausted by the day. When the woman raised her head, and looked directly at her Gabrielle found out it was both. 

The woman managed a smile, and waved. Gabrielle mirrored her actions, closed the curtain and climbed in her bed, holding the covers close to her chest. She wasn't sure how long it took for her to fall asleep, at some point everything just got quite and dark.

[thewritetofreespeech]

Could I request the GoM with an s/o who loves to cook for them everyday?

Bentos, little snacks, sometimes breakfast and dinner if possible.

GoM + Kagami - S/O who cooks for them

Akashi

He loves it.

He has some of the finest chefs in the world preparing his food on a daily basis, but he prefers your cooking.

It might not objectively be better, but it’s from you and from the heart.

Will actively throw his 5 star lunches away if you’ve made him something. Insists on having you prepare his meals for travel games as he doesn’t want anything else in his body.

Aomine

He sort of expects it at this point.

It probably started off with him stealing food from them during lunch. In a flirtatious, but also ‘I’m hungry gimme’ kind of way.

He really liked the way they cooked though, so he started just stealing more.

In the end, it was just easier to make him his own so they could at least having something for lunch of their own.

Kise

Loves it, and gushes over each one every time.

Cute s/o’s making cute bentos is the pinnacle of the aesthetic he’s trying to build for himself.

Takes a dozen pictures of each one and posts them on Instagram with the hastag #bae-nto.

He really does like their cooking their. Their omelet rolls are almost as good as his mom’s.

Kuroko

He doesn’t have a big appetite, but he’ll make an exception for s/o’s bentos.

They actually started making them for him because they were concerned about Kuroko’s nutrition. Despite living this long already, he apparently couldn’t live on convenience store bread and vanilla shakes forever.

It gives him a bit of nostalgia, as his grandmother used to make them for him. He stopped asking as she got older as he didn’t want to burden her, and switched to the quick-fix lunches.

His favorite part is just sitting with s/o and enjoying their lunches together.

Midorima

Surprised by it.

His parents work very long hours (it’s my personal headcanon that they are both doctors, which is why he wants to be one) so he ends up making lunches for him and his sister.

Having someone make a lunch for him is a rare treat at this point. Senna has tried, but given her age and small hands it usually ends up being animal crackers and seaweed chips.

S/O is even cognizant of the color of the day for Oha Asa and tries to curate bentos related to that.

Murasakibara

He’ll eat them but he’s not happy about it.

Like Kuroko, s/o started making lunches for him because they were concerned about his nutrition. He can’t just eat junk food.

But he wants to only eat junk food, so when s/o brings him healthy lunches & snacks he gets moody.

The gesture is appreciated of course, deep down, but couldn’t they add more treats for him as a reward if he eats the stupid salad??

+ Kagami

Surprised, but in a really heart warming kind of way. He hasn’t had anyone make a lunch for him since he was a real little kid.

His dad didn’t cook. He usually ate the lunches provided at school in the US. The day to day cooking was provided either by takeout, microwave quick meals, or their housekeeper/nanny his dad hired. Kagami actually learned to cook so he could have some sort of homecooked meal as he got older.

So the fact that someone would want to cook for him for a change is a real punch in the old doki-doki muscle.

Plus, the way to any man’s heart is through his stomach 😉

[keegansgf]

"my angel, my paradise"

pt.2

pairing: Keegan P. Russ x fem! reader

word count: 2.2k

synopsis: You got injured enough to need a recuperation period. It's unsafe to leave you alone on Rorkes ghost hunt, so Keegan is left to watch over you.

tags: injured reader, comfort, coworkers/friends to lovers, fluff

A/N: My friend gave me the idea for this fic so thank you <3 I hope you guys enjoy this fic!

Having two more ghosts on the team has been easier for all of you. Logan and Hesh Walker may be good at what they do– but it never stops inevitable injuries during battles from happening. Three gunshot wounds to the thigh aren't enough to take you out, yet they're enough to decrease your performance until you recover. Being stuck laying on a thin cot didn't help stop your mind from wandering, now that you have time to think about your position. What if the federation gets one over your team? What if the team falls because of your own failure?

Your thoughts were cut short by the sound of doors opening– Elias and Keegan stood next to your cot, Keegan closer to the foot of it. He occasionally made comfortable eye contact with you. You could see Logan, Hesh, and Merrick outside the door's small window with their gear, fully armed. By the looks of it, they were heading out soon. Elias was here to fill you in on what you assume to be the same mission the rest of the ghosts were doing, which was nothing new– but why was Keegan here? You didn’t mind his presence– in fact, you welcome it. 

You and Keegan rarely have moments where you're alone, but when you both have the time, you have a few conversations about mundane or personal topics. He’s caught your eye the more you’ve gotten to know him. Underneath the cool, cold guy act, he loves dogs, music, and adventure. It almost felt like you were a teenage girl memorizing your high school crush's interests. You patiently listened to your check-in, taking in any new information so your return wouldn’t need much of a catch-up. Elias was about to finish his update.

“–It would be a dangerous idea to think about leaving a ghost alone, knowing Rorke is hunting us down. I'm leaving you with Keegan. I doubt an attack will happen here, or at least not now– But we can't take any chances, understood?" 

"Yes, sir." You responded. Thankfully, your question got answered without the need to ask. You were happy to get some more time with Keegan. It’s been a while since your last one-to-one talk with him.

"Good. If anything goes wrong, you both know basic escape protocol." With that, Elias walked out of the room, taking the rest of the team, leaving you and your coworker alone. Keegan isn’t much of a talker outside of missions, even with you. He’s always happy to listen to you rant about anything you like, no matter the topic. You and him are always in harmony, except for now, your own thoughts are taking over, stopping you from starting your usual conversations.

The silence was interrupted by the occasional buzz of the white LED lights, which served as the background noise for your mind to wander to those same worries earlier. They get louder the more you look at your bandaged wound. The fear of being a failure is something you’ve struggled to cope with– but it isn’t any easier when this affects your friends… your family. On your breaks,  you’re told stories about your coworkers' happy lives before the war started. Those stories were about hiking, sightseeing, and enjoying simple hobbies–  average things before the downfall of society. Maybe in another life, you and your friends live calmly and happily. You didn't notice your company taking notice of your distracted demeanor.

“Hey, you okay?” Keegan seemed to notice your spaced-out expression. The earlier mentioned harmony you shared included reading each other pretty easily. During the first few conversations you and he shared, you caught his interest too. Your mannerisms were what interested him the most. You were so expressive. He always paid close attention to how you would look up while recalling a memory, or how your eyebrows furrowed while bringing up something upsetting. He could tell your worries were related to your injury. It almost looked like you were creating another hole staring into your thigh by how hard you were staring at your bandages.

“Yeah, just a few thoughts circling my head. Nothing new.” You weren’t exactly lying, but you sure were minimizing. 

“If that were the case, I wouldn’t ask. You like to downplay a lot.” He caught on quickly. Keegan has always been observant– of his surroundings, situations, and even people. To your team, he’s been an older brother of sorts. Perhaps it was just the desire to seek some type of ‘family’ as comfort during a war. Something about the way Keegan interacts with you is far from a brother. It almost felt like he was more of a lover, something you wish was your reality. He works well on the field– but he’s more than a killing machine. He’s sweet and comforting, like a warm cup of hot chocolate on the coldest of winters. You glance at him and collect your thoughts to avoid scrambling your words.

“I’m just disappointed in myself, or disappointed that I got this injured.”

“Why is that?” Keegans' full attention is on you.

“It’s hard to ignore the feeling that you’ve failed your team when you’re... excluded. Even if it’s for recovery purposes.” You look up at the lights above your cot before continuing.

“I don’t want it to sound like I don’t believe in the ghosts, because I do– I just get worried about them, it’s even harder to process because they’ve been like one big family. I don’t want them to end up like this… or worse.” Keegan takes a moment to process your words before he thinks of a response. After around four seconds, he takes a deep breath and takes a seat at the edge of your cot.

“They’re going to be okay, y/n. Injuries aren’t some sort of weakness. Hell, I know you’ll recover quickly, but I need you to take the time to heal. You’ll be back out soon.” His tone was softer than usual– it’s the tone he uses when he’s alone with you. 

“Trust them the same way they trust you. If you’re able to come out alive, they’ll be okay too.” If it were up to him, you wouldn’t be here risking your life with him. Something about you was so pure, an unfitting description for this line of work. There’s never a day that goes by where you’re not checking in on your friends after a mission, or taking the time to get to know them personally– asking about pets, family, or their favorite things. Just like you do with him. You were the first person to treat Keegan like a friend. He wasn’t just a respected teammate or just a ghost, but a true friend in your eyes, maybe something more. He watches you take in his words, hoping it relieves your stress in the slightest bit. You look him in the eyes and smile. That same friendly, warm, raw smile that had him obsessed with you. Your hand reached for his.

“Thank you, Keegan. That calmed my nerves a bit.” You smile in appreciation. He calmly nodded in response. His eyes darted to your interlaced hands. He subconsciously lightly tightened his grip on your hand. Why couldn’t you have met under different circumstances? You’re his light, his escape in this hellhole of a war. The long conversations you two would have were precious to him. He remembers everything you say, just like what you do with him. How you would’ve decorated your home, your disliking for overly sweet foods and drinks and how it stings your throat, your favorite color– Everything about you was perfect. He looks at your wounds and looks back up at the room. 

“Nothing hurts?”

“Not a lot.”

“Hungry?”

“Not really.”

“Are you cold?” “A little.” He stood up to grab an extra blanket from the cabinets, disappointed that he had to break the contact from your hands. He tossed the blanket over you, checking that you were as comfortable as possible. Maybe this was his form of special treatment– treatment no other soldier would see or receive. This was him behind closed doors... next to you. He’s truly a softie, especially for you. If he could take your place in that cot, taking the pain in your place, he would.

He loves you.

“Keegan?” His eyes met yours the second he heard his name come from your mouth. The way you said it was sweet and powdered with love. It drove him crazy– in a good way. He glances back at you as a silent cue to continue. You began to speak again once you got his attention.

“What do you want to do after this is all over?” The question took him by surprise. 

“I don’t really know. I’m sure I never want to go through this again.” He jokes. You both softly laugh.

“Ever thought about settling down with someone? Perhaps a lover?” He tensed up after hearing that. 

“I have.” He sat back down, linking hands again. That lover was you. All he wanted was to see you in a white dress and a veil, with a golden band signifying your mutual love. You felt him drawing shapes with his thumb on your palm. You sighed softly at the action.

“Me too. Maybe I’ll move somewhere quieter, like the countryside. I’ve always lived in the city– even growing up.” You reminisce the memories of cars constantly driving down the street as late as 2 am. Nothing ever seemed to stop in the city of your childhood. Not much has changed in that way– now you’re constantly moving around, hoping to see another tomorrow. The city was Keegans’ last guess on what type of area you grew up in. The city is chaotic, dangerous, and forever awake. You were so down to earth, despite citylife doing anything to sweep people up. He’d do anything in his power to live that quiet life you dreamed of right at your side.

“–But back to settling down with someone, I think I want to do that too. A break from hazards is one thing, but I hope I share it with someone else.” You looked up at the ceiling trying to picture the sight. Keegan looked at you, then looked down at his feet.

“What about your special someone–”

“It’s you. I love you.” He interrupted, letting his impulsive thoughts win. He was pleading deep down that he didn’t make a fool of himself, that you reciprocated his feelings. You snapped out of your trance. It took a second to hear that correctly. You looked into Keegans’ eyes, shock being present in your expression.

“Really–? I mean– you’re being one hundred percent serious?” There was doubt in your head. You were telling yourself this was too good to be true– but this is Keegan. He wouldn’t do or say anything to hurt you. He was too enamored with you, drowning in love to be lying. His thoughts are consumed by everything he adores about you. He picked up your hand and brought it to his masked lips. You took that as his confirmation and sat up, being careful of your leg pain. Keegan turned his body to face yours better. You leaned into him and wrapped your arms around his torso as he embraced you. The warmth made you happily sigh as you let out a soft giggle. The feeling of euphoria washed over you. He really loves you, and you love him.

“I love you too, Keegan.” He rested his head over yours, lightly rocking you from side to side. It felt unreal to hear that out of your mouth. He goes back and forth from how you both made it official to thinking about his future with you. Your, no, both of your shared futures, hand in hand.

“After this is all over, I’ll make sure that quiet countryside life you dream of comes true– I promise. No more war, no more dangerous circumstances, nothing. Maybe we’ll get a dog together.” You hummed in response, feeling drowsy from the amount of emotion and the long day you’d had. He kissed your head through his mask, holding you tighter. You look up at him and pull his mask high enough to expose his lips. He leans down to share a short, sweet, soft kiss. No matter how short, it was a kiss full of love and adoration for each other. Keegan felt as if his life was complete. He could call you his and you could call him yours. Your head leaned against his shoulder as the both of you enjoyed the comfortable silence. Keegan pulled away slowly and motioned you to lie back down, sensing your tiredness by how your grasp around him was loosening.

“Rest up, okay? I’ll wake you up if I have to leave.” You nodded and got yourself comfortable. Keegan lovingly kissed your head and brushed his hand over your hair. You’re his to protect. He’ll do anything to keep your comforting, gentle smile on your face. No matter how dangerous things get out there, he knows how to keep his promises. He’s promised your teammates that they’ll win the war together– but he promises that you’ll live in the home of your dreams outside of rolling green fields full of wildflowers and berries. He’ll wake up next to you to see the morning sunlight making your skin glow and go to sleep seeing the moonlight cast a halo behind you, like the angel you were– his sweet angel, his paradise.