#now i shall sleep cause it is almost 4 in the goddamn morning

[searching-for-mercury]

Drawings of Her - FemPruAus

[Title may change later, idk. Also: Anneliese = Roderich and Maria = Gilbert if you didn’t already know~]

Anneliese's head felt like a fish tank -- full of water and squishy green algae. Finals were taking their sweet time to arrive and just be over with, no matter how many assignments she completed or classes she attended. There was always something to do, not a whole lot of time to do it in, and yet finals week did not have the decency to arrive in a calm, punctual sort of way; it either felt like it would never come at all or arrived out of nowhere with the tires still smoking.

              Most of her classes were art classes, which sounded all nice and good, nothing to really stress over, except jokes on everyone else: art classes were everything to stress over. They gobbled time up faster than a dog laps up water and felt even messier. Oil painting meant painting one layer and then waiting at least a full day, if not more, for it to dry before she could continue. She spent that time drawing, sketching, creating water color creations for a portfolio, and hoping the kiln did not murder the vase she made last class period. She was hoping to give that to her mom for Mother's Day, after all.

              There were also essays to write up about historical artistic movements, critiques, analyses, and everything else one could imagine to put in an art class. She probably had more examples, but they'd be written in her planner and she didn't want to get that out unless she absolutely had to. There was too much to do. Seeing the black cover with little white flowers just made her sad.

              It was after one particular class that Feliciana, a girl in the same class, approached her with compliments to her latest addition to the ongoing portfolio Anneliese had started at the beginning of the semester. Feliciana's wasn't the first, nor the last, to gush about the apparent symbolism and use of colors and how it all tied together.

              "I just can't get over the mouth," Feliciana said, adjusting the strap to her large art bag. They were awkward things, large and rectangular, and stiff enough to keep their large sheets of paper from being bent out of shape. "Everything else is in such vivid detail, with such cold colors, and then the mouth is just -- its blank."

              Anneliese didn't really need a reminder as to what her art looked like, so she wasn't too sure what to say. It was praise, that much was obvious, so she said, "Thank you," and hoped it would be enough.

              It wasn't, but the arrival of the parking lot soon cut their conversation off. Feliciana waved at her as she drove past and Anneliese lifted a hand from where she stood at the bus stop. She watched as the other girl clipped the curb and sped off, out of view.

              It was always the same, though. The mouth, the colors -- she was just glad everyone liked her art enough to allow her self-indulgency. She'd been asked before if the mouth being left away was to represent the voice of women, or lack thereof. Anneliese didn't remember the answer she'd given, but it somehow became an established thing. Whatever got her a better grade, she supposed.

She had everything set up to do another piece when she got home, though the actual painting would only be done after the initial sketching. It was Maria's day off, which was done slightly on purpose.

              The door to their apartment swung open with the keys in Anneliese's hand, hovering right where the keyhole should have been.

              "Did I scare you?" Maria asked, grinning in a way that said she sure hoped so. Her long, white-blonde hair swung as she leaned forward.

              "A little," Anneliese admitted. A year ago, she would have been loath to admit any sort of weakness around the other girl. A lot changed in a year. "What did you do all day?"

              Maria shrugged and moved to let Anneliese in. She had on her lazy clothes -- a blank tank top Anneliese not-so-secretly loved on her and some grey sweats she'd found in the men's section at a thrift store. Maria liked to pretend they once belonged to the military, that they had history. Anneliese liked to argue that all the clothing there had history.

              "Just computer things," Maria replied. 'Computer things' usually meant her blog, Netflix, games, or a combination of all three. "And I made brownies."

              "You?" Anneliese asked as she dropped her own art bag to the ground. The air did smell particularly delicious.

              "Yeah, my sister found a new recipe," Maria said. "This one has cookie dough."

              Anneliese had to nod to that one -- cookie dough was pretty fantastic. "Are you ready?" she asked.

              Maria struck a pose, like she was in front of the paparazzi. "Sketch away, my dear," she said.

              Anneliese couldn't help but smile. "Let me get out of these clothes first," she said.

              "Yes please."

              "So I can change into some comfy pants," Anneliese said, giving her girlfriend a very pointed look.

              "Aw."

              The sketching always took place by the window, where the afternoon sun shone through, and always started with her eyes. Maria had what others would call a 'resting bitch face,' but to Anneliese, it was just a very intense, always alert sort of look. Sharp and focused. With her blue eyes, it was easy to tell where she was looking and, more importantly, if she was looking at you.

              Then came the outline of her hair, long and silvery looking in certain light. It was always straight, though sometimes Maria let Anneliese play with it. They went to a formal party once and Anneliese had put it in curls, pinned it up with a sparkly barrette, and painted her lips the same color red as her dress. She looked amazing, Anneliese had done well, but it only lasted when Maria held still. And in no universe would Maria ever stay still. Even during sketch sessions, she'd twist about.

              After the hair came her strong jaw line and her long nose. She had a somewhat androgynous look to her that made Anneliese want to draw her from the moment they first met. Her personality was another reason, as she sort of oozed charisma and character, that there was something so very vivid and interesting within her that made Anneliese watch her without always realizing it.

              The shoulders, the shirt, the rest of her were simple lines, to be filled in later with flat colors mostly. The focus was always on her face.

              But then she got to the mouth. And she followed the lines of Maria's lips with her eyes, the way they curved when at rest and thought of the way they would pull thin when angry, or twitch up when she was thinking something mischievous. She knew what they looked when wet, when her tongue pulled out and swiped over them. She knew what they looked like parted, breathless.

              She never knew when the pencil actually stopped moving, but it always did. And her fingers stopped holding it and instead went to the soft sides of Maria's face, pulling her towards her until her own mouth found the one she'd been looking at.

[fuzzyporcupine]

lead me with your hands tied | chapter 6

chapters:

FULL - 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

rating: explicit

word count: 13,130

summary:

In the midst of a crumbling kingdom at war, Levi Ackerman is commissioned by King Jaeger to paint a portrait of his overzealous son.

chapter 6:

The knock at the door had woken him with a start, loud and forceful as it echoed through the tiny room. The light shining in from the singular window blinded his sight, straining the already sleep-addled eyes. It couldn’t have been soon after dawn, and he had no idea who could possibly need to disturb him this early. Levi grumbled lowly as he sat up in the bed, throwing the furs to the side. Bare feet slid onto the stone floor, pale toes flexing on the ground. Dressed in only a thin white shift to cover his nakedness, Levi stepped to the large door. He unlocked it with quick, deft fingers, sliding the thick iron rod out of the latch.

The hinges squeaked painfully as he tugged the entrance open. Levi expected to be greeted by an annoyed Petra, maybe even the frightened servant girl, though the latter seemed highly unlikely given the fright he had caused her. However, neither was standing beyond the entryway. The only people meeting his gaze were the goddamned Royal Guard.

A cold sweat began to form on the back of his neck as a twitchy thumb tucked into a sweaty palm. The men were decorated with fine golden armor and a green silken cloak that wrapped around their wide shoulders. The uniform was customary of the Royal Guard and signified their importance to the court. His eyes flicked down to the long silver swords and black slender rifles strapped menacingly to the soldiers’ sides and backs. Swallowing hard, Levi lifted his gaze back to brave the stone-faced men. He didn’t know what could have possibly warranted the Royal Guard to arrive at his doorstep. Perhaps Eren did tell his father of Levi’s disrespect inside the studio. Perhaps this was a reckoning.

The thought had Levi’s throat tightening.

Regardless, Levi refused to be afraid. Fear was a terrible emotion. One that never seemed to do anything but scramble the brain and cause unneeded anxiety. He’d boarded that feeling up long ago and would be damned if he let it boil back up again.

One of the guards shuffled. “His Majesty requests your presence.” That sounded ominous.

He steeled himself, a pointed chin turned upwards, almost mocking. “May I be dressed or does His Majesty wish to see me prance about in my bedclothes?” If they were going to make an example of him, he’d rather it not be with his cock out.

The man’s gaze narrowed then drifted down to Levi’s bare legs. “Make haste. His Majesty does not like to wait.”

Levi grunted, quietly closing the door behind him as the guards moved to stand against the wall.

Well, wasn’t this just a right old mess?

A thought of jumping out the window and making a run for it briefly fluttered through his mind before he disregarded the idea entirely. He had no notion if the king intended something sinister or just wanted to chat. Levi decided it was not worth snapping his ankles over.

Pulling the shift over his head, Levi made quick work of getting dressed. If the king was truly impatient as the Royal Guard stated, then it was in his best interest to not dawdle.

The men were still standing outside when he exited the room. However, now he appeared to them much more decent - a linen shirt tucked nicely beneath the waist of his darkened breeches.

Without so much as a verbal cue, the Royal Guard began to march towards where Levi assumed the king was residing. He found it a good sign that the men were not dragging him along by the backs of his arms. At least they weren’t yet, anyway.

The grounds were ghostly as he was led through. Empty except for a few soldiers and a murder of crows squawking a venomous tune atop the ramparts. Leather boots sunk deep into the mud, the morning dew softening up the already well-trodden soil. It was impossible to tell which direction the guards were taking him based on the prints left in the dirt. There were so many of them, abandoned from weary horses being led to the stables and drunken soldiers stumbling in late from the tavern. Reminded him of a certain soaked fool whispering vulgar obscenities into his ear.

“I would teach you. If you begged.”

Just the memory of the words had Levi’s jaw clenching. He’d never begged for anything in his life. Not when there had been a knife pressed flush against his throat. Not when a stingy noble threatened to dock his pay. Not even when he watched the colors of Shiganshina toss flames onto everything he loved. Shit would sooner rain from the sky before Levi Ackerman begged of anything from that bastard.

“Through the door and up the stairs.” They’d stopped in front of one of the vast spherical towers attached to the curtain wall. Like a dark cloud on a stormy day, the structure cast a leaden shadow over Levi and the surrounding mud. He was close enough to the stone that if he looked up only brick and mortar would catch his gaze. Attached to the tower was a wooden door. Though not near as strong as the immense iron gate separating the village from the castle grounds, the entrance felt just as menacing. With a jaw still tightened, Levi strode forward and threw open the flimsy door with a hard tug.

The spiral staircase greeted him immediately, grey stone steps coated with a layer of dust and debris. Soft footsteps echoed as he advanced upward, almost loud enough to drown out the obnoxious beating in his chest. By the time he reached the top of the tower, his thighs were burning fiercely and an unattractive sweat had formed above his brow. The men below did not tell Levi where he should head once reaching the top, but it was not hard to decipher. A trio of Royal Guard stood behind the king as the slouching man observed the dwindling village from atop the wall. Levi approached carefully, still unsure if the encounter would end with him thrown from the battlements.

“I see the men have escorted you well.” The king continued to stare off into the distance as he spoke, voice mimicking the tiredness that dragged on the man’s expression. In the morning light, Levi saw the streaks of grey reflecting brightly against the dull brown on top of the king’s head. The war had aged the man, as most wars tended to do.

“They have, Your Majesty,” Levi confirmed.

The king hummed, thin hands gripping tightly around the stone. “I understand my son has proven to be quite difficult to work with.” Levi remained stone-faced and silent. He had no inkling of how to respond to such a loaded question. Should he remain quiet or let the king know how much of a complete idiot the prince was? Either choice seemed likely to offend. “Shall I find someone else more competent?” So, this was why the king sent for him. Not to toss him off the side of the wall or to swing a sword through his neck. But to humiliate him.

Rage rose in him like a tide receding from the shore, thumbnail digging an angry crescent into his palm. Levi’s skill had proven him to be more than competent as an artist. His portfolio saw proof of that. What he wasn’t, however, was a goddamned babysitter, especially to an overgrown child such as the prince.

“No,” he bit out dangerously. The king turned to face him then. “I’m the best damned painter in this entire bloody kingdom. By three months’ end, you’ll be able to see that for yourself.”

Are you fucking delirious?  

That timeframe was impossible. Even with the best of clients, Levi typically wouldn’t have the piece delivered in under six months. And to cut that time in half? He had to be absolutely insane. That had to be it. Or maybe he just longed for death and wanted to feel the cool slice of a blade against his skin. Which might actually happen sooner rather than later. In his anger, Levi had taken several steps closer, prompting the Royal Guard to grab hold of the weapon hilts. The sight doused his anger like water over a fire. “Your Majesty,” he added quietly in the hopes that the soldiers would release their swords with the two words.

The king looked him up and down, an unimpressed stare settled within the wrinkles on the worn face. A hand was lifted and the sound of sheathed steel cut sharply through the air.

“By three months’ end,” the king said firmly. Goddammit, Ackerman. Levi nodded once, fist unclenching by his side. “You may leave.” He bowed his head, turning quickly on a booted heel. Before Levi could reach the archway, the king regarded him again. “And painter?” Levi cast a wary glance over his shoulder to find the man gazing back out again over the village. “Disrespect me again and I’ll have you flayed and dragged through the streets.”

Levi let out a nervous breath.

Of that, he had no doubt.

_______________________

Levi had not been waiting in the studio long before Petra arrived. She brought with her a remorseful expression and news that the young prince was suffering an unfortunate bout of nausea and would not be attending the session.

Like hell he wouldn’t, Levi thought as his feet marched him closer to Petra.

“Take me to his room,” he insisted, voice unyielding as the stone walls surrounding him.

“But, sir, the prince is-”

“Sleeping?” Levi interrupted. “It’s nearly midday, Ms. Ral.”

“Yes, I understand, but-”

“If the prince is well and truly ill I shall send for a doctor. Now, please.” He looked at her expectantly, watching the way a plump bottom lip wiggled in between her teeth. The woman could easily refuse him. He had not been hired to snoop into the prince’s room. Levi was there to paint, and Petra surely realized this. However, he had only a limited amount of time to complete what was seemingly an impossible portrait. One that he was certain would get him killed if it was not finished on time. He couldn’t allow Eren’s wankered morning after to place any undue setbacks on the schedule.

A tight sigh broke across her lips as she murmured, “Right this way, sir.” Levi’s shoulders relaxed as he followed the woman down the winding staircase. Her pace was brisk, hardly allowing him the opportunity to analyze the route they were taking. She said nothing as they ascended the great set of stairs in the foyer. Just continued marching until they had finally made it to a fine wooden door. “The prince is inside.”

His eyes fell to the small iron handle of the entrance and then to the golden keyhole. “Is it locked?”

Petra shook her head. “No, sir. His young Majesty only locks the door when…” She trailed off, cheeks flaring pink. Ah, Levi understood.

“Of course,” he muttered. Levi silently wondered why Eren would even bother with locks considering the scene he witnessed the night prior. “Thank you for the escort.” He raised a fist to the door, giving it two sharp knocks before closing his hand around the handle. Hopefully, the warning would be able to warn the prince of his arrival. If not, well, Levi wouldn’t necessarily be surprised.

“I shall let the guards know to ignore any screaming.”

Levi thanked her with a slight upturn of the lips as he pulled the door open and entered the bedroom.

The chambers were coated in a shadowy grey, the light from the window being held back by a thick curtain. A small table stood off to the side, a basket of uneaten fruit and a bronze pitcher sitting on top of the surface. A writing desk with a battered leg took up residence against the same wall. Miscellaneous papers were scattered everywhere atop the desk, leaving nary space vacant. Across the room, a large bed, about twice the size of his own, was fixed upon a risen platform of solid stone. Green silk cascaded around the poles holding up the canopy. Bundled in the middle amidst a pile of blankets and furs nestled the prince, a mess of brown hair sticking out from the depths of the sheets.

“Gods be kind, Petra. I said leave me be.” The voice didn’t hold quite the bite that he’s sure Eren was hoping, overly raspy from the man’s rambunctious night. Levi stepped closer to the talking lump, boots echoing off the stone floor as he went. He took in the figure moving slightly beneath the sheets, the gentle breathing causing the blankets to rise and fall in a steady motion. With swift hands, Levi gripped the coverings and ripped them from the bed, exposing the body beneath.

“Are you completely mad, you daft wench?!” Eren screamed, hands reaching out to recover the lost warmth. They paused, though, when the prince noticed who exactly had pulled the silken linens from the bed. “What are you doing here?” Eren asked, wincing as he pushed himself up into a sitting position against the plush pillows. “Come to ravage me in my bed chambers?”

“Get up,” he stated plainly, not in the mood for the prince’s teasing.

“Oh, I am up, artist.” Levi resisted the urge to strangle the bastard, biting the inside of his cheek as he marched over to the curtained window. The fabric was pulled back, and Eren threw up a quick hand against the light. “Gods, you’re fucking cruel.”

“Get up,” Levi reiterated, voice almost a growl as it snuck between clenched teeth. He felt like punching something, preferably the prince’s stupid, smug face.

“My, you are feisty today.” Eren grinned up wolfishly at Levi. “Did my father order you to speak so openly to me?”

“Your father ordered me to paint your portrait, Your Highness.” In only three months, he reminded himself. Though that fault fell on Levi’s own shoulders.

Eren yawned loudly, arms stretching high up into the air. The movement caused the man’s nightclothes to shift up, exposing thick, tan thighs. Levi tore his eyes away, a red heat tickling his neck. He silently cursed his embarrassment. Levi had seen a man naked before. Many men in fact. The communal baths were not exactly the place one would go expecting modesty. So, to have such a reaction to this complete pig of a man was humiliating. “I told you,” the prince said in between yawns, “that I would be bedridden today.”

Levi scoffed, mortification long forgotten as he stomped over to the edge of the bed. “I have promised your father a complete portrait in three fucking months. I do not intend to disappoint him.” His tone was dangerously deadly, causing Eren to nervously drop outstretched arms in a covered lap. “I expect you in the studio within the hour, Your Highness.” He turned away, leaving the prince momentarily speechless. Upon reaching the doorway, Levi paused, looking back over his shoulder to find Eren staring back in his direction with wide eyes and an open mouth.

“You’re the Prince of Shiganshina. Act like it.”

[its-stranger-than-you-think]

I was tagged by the Queens: @not-reddie and @its-reddie-bitch

1. last drink?: Idk man, I haven’t had anything to drink since yesterday morning I believe lmfaooooo

2: last phone call?: My best friend

3. last text message?: “hey hoe, what up?”

4. last song you listened to?: Visions of Gideon by Sufjan Stevens

5. last time you cried?: Like two days ago because of a fanfic I read 😭

6. dated someone twice?: haven’t officially dated anyone once so nah

7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope

8. been cheated on?: again, never dated anyone so nope, but idk why they would EVER because I’m a goddamn catch 🤷🏼‍♀️

9. lost someone special?: too many to count

10. been depressed?: been??

11. gotten drunk and thrown up?: you mean that one time I drank half of a big ass bottle of vodka by myself even though I’m a fuckin lightweight? Then yes

fave colors

12. Lavender

13. The orangy-yellow color of a sunset/sunrise

14. Forest green

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends?: Tons! A lot of them I’ve gotten to know on here and they’re all so nice and beautiful and I love them

16. fallen out of love?: that’s assuming I actually have a heart that’s capable of love in the first place... lol kidding... or am I?

17. laughed until you cried?: literally every time I talk to my best friend Ashley

18. found out someone was talking about you?: HAHA YES FUCK THOSE FAKE ASS BITCHES

19. met someone who changed you?: oh, for sure

20. found out who your friends are?: my dog and my best friend :)

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list?: Facebook who?

general:

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl?: again, Facebook who?

23. do you have any pets?: my dog Gracie. What an angel ❤️

24. do you want to change your name?: yes, i hate my name

25. what did you do for your last birthday?: I have no idea, I can’t remember

26. what time did you wake up today?: 5:30. My ass never sleeps

27. what were you doing at midnight last night?: listening to music

28. what is something that you can’t wait for?: MY LIFE TO FINALLY GET ITSELF TOGETHER! IT’S LONG OVERDUE

30. what are you listening to right now?: Doves In The Wind by SZA. Literally a song about pussy; it’s fucking fantastic. HIGHLY SUGGEST

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom?: probably, idek,

32. something getting on your nerves?: Everything is, but what’s new?

33. most visited website?: AO3, Tumblr and Twitter

34. hair color?: really dirty blonde

35. long or short hair: long

36. do you have a crush on someone?: nah

37. what do you like about yourself?: I like that I can understand people. I’m a very good listener, so if y’all need anyone to talk to, I’m your girl. I’m also very loyal.

38. want any piercings: I only have a single piercing on my ear and I had my nose pierced at one point, but I definitely want my nipples, bellybutton, cartilage and a lot more

39. blood type: I think I’m O neg but I’m not sure

40. nicknames: my name is Courtney, so people like to call me Short Court because everyone thinks it’s so hilarious to make fun of me for being short. Fuckers.

41. relationship status: single

42. zodiac: Taurus

43. pronouns: she // her

44. fave tv show: I don’t watch a ton of tv, but Stranger Things (obvi), Jane the Virgin, New Girl, How To Get Away With Murder, etc

45. tattoos: Me and my best friend wanna get matching ones so hopefully soon

46. right or left handed: right

47. ever had surgery: I had to get cataracts removed as an infant so yep

48 . piercings: one on my ear and I used to have my nose pierced

49. sport: I don’t play anything because I’m an uncoordinated little shit but figure skating, dancing and gymnastics are so cool

50. vacation: I went to the U.K., France and Spain two years ago and it was the best time of my life. I would love to go back.

51. trainers: my converse or my Air Force 1s 🔥🔥

more general

52. eating: I HAVE NOT ATE SINCE YESTERDAY I AM STARVING

53. drinking: nothing

54. im about to watch: nothing

55. waiting for: some fucking food

56. want: to be with my best friend but she lives like 5 states away fml :(

57. get married? I mean it would really depend on the person obviously

58. career: I’m studying nursing but idk if it’s the thang for me, we shall see

59. hugs or kisses: Why not both? I need love

60. lips or eyes: eyes for sure. eyes are so expressive and gorgeous

61. shorter or taller: taller since I’m so short

62. older or younger: older

63. nice arms or stomach: Honey, i can have both

64. hookup or relationship: depends

65. troublemaker or hesitant: usually hesitant, but I have my moments

66. kissed a stranger: no but that sounds fun tbh

67. drank hard liquor: I have but I get super fucked up so yeah not again

68. lost glasses: my eyesight is SHIT so when I was younger I had really thick glasses that magnified my eyes so fucking much and I hated them so I would “lose” them all the time and I ran around blind until my mom got me contacts

69. turned someone down: ha, yes

70. sex on the first date: yeah dude why not let my slutty self free?

71. broken someones heart: not that I know of

72. had your heart broken: I’m surprised it’s still beating if that tells you something

73. been arrested: no, but I almost have

74. cried when someone died: uh yeah? Who wouldn’t?

75. fallen for a friend: a few times

do you believe in…

76. yourself: I’m trying, I really am

77. miracles: not really

78. love at first sight: I may be a sap, but no

79. santa clause: fuck no, if I ever saw an old, ugly, fat, white man crawl through a dusty ass chimney I would beat his ass with a chair

80. kiss on a first date: hell yeah

81. angels: I think there are people who watch over you; whether they’re “righteous” or not is up for debate

82. best friend’s name: Ashley 💖

83. eye color: my eyes are two different colors, so my left is a bright blue and my right is darkish green

84. fave movie: THE LION KING

85. fave actor: can it be an actress?? Cause Viola Davis is incredible

I TAG: I have no idea who to tag lmfaooo but

@hypochondriac-and-a-trashmouth @ew-its-tozier @ashyfluff-lessthan3 @sunflowerstozier @bubbleteasophiee @sarcastic-pumpkin

[w0lfbr0thers]

gone. - ch. 4 of wybmbm

Read on AO3!

iiii.

Isak can't sleep the eve of the wedding, his eyes burning from exhaustion but he can't bring himself to close them and just sleep, and in reality he hasn't slept in a day or two - not properly, at least. As he turns over on his side, he looks at the time on his phone. 3:20 AM. Just what Isak needs.

He gets out of bed and heads over to his desk, lifting the screen of his Mac, the bright light causing him to squint. He tries working on a review that was due a couple days ago, but he can't motivation in anything anymore.

He clicks off of it, going onto his Facebook page and starts scrolling through his feed. His heart seizes as he stops at a photo of Anette with her wedding gown on, Eva and the girl squad smiling around her, which only brings more sadness than what he can already cope with.

He quickly shuts down the laptop, crawling his way back into his bed and he can already hear the birds chirping outside his window and it takes all of him to not snap and scream out the window for everyone to just shut the fuck up and leave him in peace, but the world doesn't work the way.

-

Even ends up having to shake Isak's shoulder to get him awake, and Isak blushes as he notices he's only his boxers and Even is towering right above him, smiling.

"Good morning, sunshine. Or I should say good afternoon - it's 1:48 in the afternoon, I wanted us to have one more fitting before the wedding just so we know everything is going to go as planned."

Isak groans, burying his face into his blue pillow, "It's so earlier, though," Isak manages and he hears Even laugh as he opens up the closet door. Isak finally rises when he hears the ruffling of the plastic covering, pulling on a pair of sweatpants while Even has his back turned.

"You can change in here while I change in my room, and then we'll meet in the middle," Even tells him, lying the perfect tux on Isak's bed.

"The middle?"

"The living room, you dork. Now, come on. We have about five hours before we have to be there."

"Five hours?! I thought you said the wedding starts at nine?"

"Isak, do you know anything about weddings? Even on the day of the wedding, there is still so much to do," Even chuckles, his shoulders shaking with his laugh and Isak's lip twitches up into a slight smile.

"Yeah, I... I guess you're right," Isak replies, taking the tux from the bed.

"Of course I am. Now you go ahead and get dressed, we'll meet back in the living room in about five minutes," Even declares, already heading out the door of Isak's room.

"Cool." Isak manages, and as soon as the door closes, he quickly strips the sweats and dresses into the tux quickly. He looks into his phone camera, fixing up his hair and brushing it a little with a comb; he makes the smallest attempt to look like he's doing well, when in reality he really isn't well at all.

He hears Even exit his room and he does the same, and as Isak walks into the living room his heart stops. Even looks so goddamn good in his tux, and all Isak wants to do is rip it off him. Even grins, and Isak catches his eyes flicking up and down, surveying him. Isak blushes, shrugging, "So? How do I look?"

"You look like you did when you first tried that tux on, absolutely stunning," Even tells him, his eyes bright, and Isak smiles, looking down at his feet.

"You don't look so shabby yourself, then," Isak jokes, and Even guffaws.

"Please, the groom should be the most handsome man at the wedding but you, Isak Valtersen, are sure to steal the show," Even says, walking up closer to Isak and he swears his heart is beating a thousand miles per hour.

"I mean, I guess I look okay-" Isak stops as he watches Even reach up a hand and his skin feels so alive as he feels Even takes a strand of Isak hair and tucks it behind his ear, the light brush of his fingertips causing Isak to shiver.

"You look amazing," Even whispers, grinning.

Isak smiles back at Even, clearing his throat, "Shall we go? It's 2:17."

"We shall - the cab is outside, the boys will be meeting us and the venue," Even tells Isak as they head out the door and down the stairs.

"Sounds good to me," Isak responds as they get into the cab, Isak's breath finally evening out.

-

"Yes, I know Emma! She's a year one, I'm a year two, just let me in and I'll talk to her!" Isak exclaims, his anger flushed into his voice. The two guys at the door give him a look, and then shrug.

"One minute, then you come right back here, understand?"

"Yes!" Isak huffs, darting past the guys and his eardrums pulse with the loud music. He quickly makes his way to the heart of the party, people pushing and shoving him in every direction, the energy in the room too much for Isak to handle. He turns and looks, and he stops as he sees Even across the room. He steps back a little, almost tripping over his feet, and he sees a familiar face approach him. Emma.

She gives him a stern look, her eyes filled with hatred and Isak's jaw drops open, "Emma! I was just looking for you."

"What are you doing here?" Emma says, crossing her arms.

"I came to talk to you. It was shitty of us to leave you on Halloween and you must think I'm an asshole, but-"

"That's not why I think you're an asshole," Emma interjects, letting out a pained sigh. Isak raises an eyebrow at her and she continues. "I think you're an asshole because you led me on even though you're gay. It's 2016, Isak, time to get out of the closet."

And with that, Emma storms past Isak, leaving him standing alone in the crowded room. He lets out a huff, turning to his left and he stops, his breath catching in his throat as he sees Even and Sonja together. His hands are shaking as he watches them laugh, and he has to stop himself from screaming as he sees Sonja lean into Even, kissing him. What makes is worse is that he sees Even kissing her back. He stands there for about a few more seconds which seams like a lifetime before finding his way back outside.

He rushes past the boys, mumbling, "Let's go, we gotta go." He feels Jonas tug on his jacket sleeve and he pulls away, standing a few feet away from them.

"Man, what's your problem?" Jonas asks, his eyes filled with concern.

"Just let him go, he probably has some family dinner to attend to," Mahdi jokes, shrugging. Isak can't think clearly as he shoves his way to Mahdi, pushing him on the ground, his anger filling his head. "Dude, what the fuck?"

"Hey, man, what the fuck is up with you?" Jonas pushes again, but all Isak can do is walk away, leaving the mess of his life behind as a shadow as he walks through the dimly lit streets. His whole body is shaking, his head too full with stress for him to bear. His knees give out on him at a corner, and he kneels on the hard, cement ground, the sobs taking so much out of his physical well being, his head in his hands.

He should have known this was going to fuck up on him, going after someone who he knew would have nothing for him, but that's just the kind of boy he is; too-confident in himself which gets him hurt. All he can think is of how much pain he has brought himself, and how there might be no return from this.

-

Isak stands in the bathroom of the venue. He can hear the guests chatting outside, talking about who is going to sit where. He has to be out there in 15 minutes, but he really doesn't want to do it. He can feel his hands shaking as he looks at himself in the mirror, his eyes red from unshed tears. He takes a deep, shaky breath, trying to pull himself together.

He turns on the faucet, dipping his hands into the cold water and bringing some up to his face, trying to calm his nerves but to no avail - nothing can tame the knots in his stomach.

He quickly dries himself off, turning off the water, and he heads back out into the crowd and returns smiles that are shot in his direction. He spots Eva and the girls near a window and walk over to join them, and as soon as they see him they frown.

"Oh, Isak. I know this is hard for you," Eva starts, pulling him into a tight hug, Sana right beside her.

"Hey, listen, biology pal. You're going to get through this. Just think, a couple of years and you won't be thinking about him, you'll be in love with someone else," Sana adds, smiling pitifully at her best friend, but Isak can't even manage the smallest of smiles.

Noora sighs, licking her red-stained lips, shrugging, "No going back now, Isak. Pain is pain, and people need people, and you have us."

Isak nods, shrugging, "I'll just have to endure it for now. Just a few hours, and then I can leave."

The girls smile softly at him as they head off to find seats outside, and Isak takes another breath. He can't put himself through this. So he won't. He feels in his pocket and finds some money and he frowns. He really can't do this. He turns and heads out a back door that leads to an alley, and with one final deep breath, he heads towards the nearest shop and buys a case full of beer, and with that, he's gone, broken and as shattered as he can be.