#now to find out how many suspiciously empty new blogs I have to block today

[the-library-alcove]

So my best friend is a Bisexual man who was raised in a conservative Christian home that homeschooled him and amount others things taught him that LGBT were going to burn in hell and deserved no rights. He has since left the religion and moved to a different part of the country that is a lot more pro-lgbt and a lot less religious. He’s a lot happier now having embraced both his sexuality and atheism! But according to you, you he’s still a Christian. Even tho his family rejected him and he’d rather be homeless, which he currently is, than to return to them. Christianity abused him for no other reason than he’s bi but you don’t care and still put him in the same category as his abusers. Do you not see how fucked up that is?

Culturally Christian Atheist whining that he doesn't understand that he and his friend are still going to have deep-seated influences from their upbringing on how they view the world and saying that the mere statement that, no, you didn't spring forth from the ground as a fully formed adult with zero influences is somehow "putting him in the same category as his abusers".

It's judgement neutral, yah dummy! If you're feeling that it's an attack, that's on you, but FFS, this is something I get from every fucking Culturally Christian atheist to the point that getting this whine is itself part of being a culturally Christian Atheist--because you're acting like a Christian who has been mistakenly labeled to be a "Catholic" and now has to throw a tantrum over it!

But shit, dude, I'm a culturally Jewish atheist! See, it's that easy to acknowledge your background! Can you stop acting like an Evangelical with a persecution complex when I point out that you have a historical background that's going to inform how you view things and interact with the world? You're not a video game character who spawns when the protagonist enters a new zone! I'm not saying that you're still religiously a Christian! Honestly, I'm proud of you for walking away from that faith--statistically, you've probably left Evangelical Christianity, which is the closest thing to a fully fledged Religion of Evil on the planet! But it's still going to leave marks on you and your mindset that take a lot more work to identify and acknowledge and remove than just going "I don't accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior!" And I can tell that you've still got work to do--because you're whining like an Evangelical that you're being persecuted for someone making an observation about your cultural background, including, for starters:

Taking my statements out of context to attack me.

Treating this as a black-and-white issue.

Treating my statement as a moral attack.

Assuming that you have all of the answers already and other perspectives are a danger to be attacked and dismissed.

Treating me as an outsider to be attacked for pointing out something, rather than someone trying to help you fix a problem.

Among others. You still have some deeply embedded cultural programming that comes from being raised in a Culturally Christian background environment that includes behaviors like that. But rather than try to remove them and get rid of those vestiges of thinking, you're instead proving my point. And while you aren't as obnoxious as some other Culturally Christian Atheists I've run into, this belligerence and resistance to actually listening because you're convinced that you already have done all of the work and possess Truth is so Culturally Christian it hurts. Like, I feel sorry for you. Still going to block you, because there no more point in trying to have a conversation with you than the missionaries who have told me that I exist to be a blood sacrifice to bring back Jesus, and for the same reason: You have your Truth, and damned be anyone who says anything that contradicts it.

EDIT: Also, checking out your blog and seeing you deliberately going after Jewish bloggers even more than you go after Christians, to say how much you hate them for existing and mocking our own origins?

Yeah, that antisemitism is also part of your Culturally Christian background. Ask yourself why you hate Jews so much and so specifically.

[dontgotothenetherworld]

Hi i love your blog!! I was wondering if you were taking requests because I’d love to see more Barbara x Delia !!💜

this is a date, right?

ok so i’m basically just going to turn a few hcs i have into a fic, changing a few of the surrounding hcs, but the barb x delia ones remain largely unchanged. if you have any more specific plot things you want to see of these two lovies, feel free to ask :)

this is such an underrated ship thank you for requesting them omfg

1529 words

”delia, do you want anna or olaf?” lydia asked.

”why not elsa?”

”because i’m elsa, duh.” 

”anna, then.”

”and i suppose that makes me olaf?” asked barbara, putting an air of offence on.

lydia handed the women their respective face masks. delia was the one who suggested the three of them have a “girls night out” as she put it. unfortunately, none of them wanted to go out in the freezing rain, so it turned into a night in. face masks were the first order of business. 

lydia started laughing hysterically. “what?” asked barbara.

lydia pointed at barbara’s reflection in the mirror. barbara turned and saw olaf’s face on hers, and started laughing too. lydia saw her reflection, and began laughing harder, which made barbara start laughing harder too, and the cycle kept repeating itself until they both felt stitches in their sides.

delia looked at her reflection, with anna’s face plastered across hers. “i personally think i look fabulous.” she pronounced fabulous like fab-you-loose. which in turn made barbara and delia laugh even harder than before.

”i can’t breathe.” lydia gasped for air. delia began giggling too.

it took them a solid three minutes to finally stop laughing.

”so i’m assuming you want to repaint your nails black?” asked delia. lydia nodded cheerfully,examining her chipped nail polish. “what about you?” delia asked barbara.

”what color are you doing?” barbara asked.

delia held up a deep shade, “purple!”

”i’ll go with that too, then.” barbara smiled.

”me first! me first!” said lydia, rushing to remove the current polish.

the two women chuckled at the young girl. an alarm rung out. they each took their face mask off.

delia started on her right hand, and barbara the left.

all of a sudden a loud banging, and some, uh, screams were heard from the attic.

barbara and delia were quick to cover lydia’s ears. they exchanged a glance. barbara felt her cheeks flush as she realized she was holding delia’s hands.

lydia glanced between the two women and rolled her eyes, then went back to examining her not yet dry nails.

”i’ll go tell them…” delia said. she quickly stood up and ran to the attic.

lydia, with barbara’s hands still around her ears, said, “you know, the only  real question is whether it’s all three of them up there or just beej and adam.”

barbara blushed again. she wasn’t very comfortable with how okay lydia was with talking about sex. she felt like the teen should at least be embarrassed by it.

after a moment, barbara heard delia’s heels click down the stairs again. “they should be quiet now.” barbara brought her hands back into her lap. “they thought we would be out.”

”can you put a sparkly polish on this finger?” lydia held up her middle finger.

”lydia!” exclaimed delia.

lydia looked down at her hand and realized she was flicking off her step mom. “oops. didn’t mean to do that. but still, can you make it all glittery?”

barbara spent the rest of the evening overthinking every interaction she had with delia, as well as every thought she had about delia. she felt like a teenager, struggling to figure out if she liked the gorgeous woman across from her, and attempting to decipher if delia possibly liked her too. maybe this would’ve been her high school experience, if she hadn’t met adam, and never felt the need to figure out her orientation.

the next day, after a many scary movies and bowls of popcorn, barbara woke lydia up with pancakes.

”morning, sweetheart.” barbara sat at the end of lydia’s bed.

lydia looked suspiciously at the pancakes. “what do you want?”

”what? can’t a mom just want to do something nice for her kid?” lydia had recently referred to barbara as ‘mom’, but barbara was still hesitant to use those words.

”she can, but in the, like, half year that you’ve been my mom, you have not once brought me breakfast in bed!” lydia triumphantly crossed her arms. then she eyed the sweet syrup soaking into the fluffy cake, and gave in, shoveling it into her mouth.

”okay, fair enough. i wanted to ask you something.”

”never a good thing for a daughter to hear.” she said with a full mouth.

barbara chuckled, then hesitated before saying, “how did you know you liked girls?”

lydia sat up straight. “why do you ask? nevermind, i know why, it’s delia, right?”

barbara blushed.

”let me tell you, if you think you’re attracted to her, and it’s causing you to rethink your entire identity, you’re probably attracted to her.”

”probably?” 

”there’s an exception to every rule. except the exception to that rule, the exception to there’s always an exception does not have an exception, which i can’t figure out if that enforces or disproves the rule…” lydia talked herself in circles.

”so what do you think i should do?” barbara rung her hands together.

”ask her out, obviously! do you have any more of these downstairs?” lydia pointed at her now empty plate.

”uh, yeah… don’t eat too much or you’ll feel sick!” she called out in vain. lydia had already zoomed down to the kitchen, destined for a stomach ache in half an hour. “i guess i can ask you for specific advice later…” barbara muttered.

”advice? on what?” delia stuck her head into lydia’s room.

barbara frantically thought up an explanation, “i, uh, wanted to maybe switch up my style, and i…”

”ooo! sounds like fun! do you want to go shopping with me later today?”

”that sounds perfect!” barbara faltered. she was actually perfectly happy with the way she dressed. but she supposed it couldn’t hurt to have the woman she was “probably attracted to” give compliments on her appearance.

”so, what kind of style do you want to go for?” asked delia as she circled the parking lot, trying to find an open space.

”um i don’t know. maybe, like, darker? not lydia dark or anything, that’d be a bit too much, but just a little bit darker than what i wear now.” said barbara.

”do you mean like darker color or darker style.” delia honked her horn. the person in front of her wasn’t paying attention, and was just sat there on their phone, blocking an open space.

”color, definitely.” barbara looked down at her plain dress. it was kind of boring, maybe she did want to try some edgier pieces.

”there’s no harm in trying some other kinds of stuff on, though.” delia pulled into the parking space.

the two women hopped out of the car. “well, there can be, delia.” delia turned, with a face of confusion, to barbara. “i mean like, people with really bad body issues, or even normally bad body issues, it can like hurt their mind or whatever to see their body in an unflattering piece of clothing.” barbara hugged her chest.

everything about this felt highschool.

”i suppose you’re right.” they walked in silence for a moment. “let me know if anything makes you feel bad, okay?” delia gave barbara a quick side hug, which unsettled a dozen butterflies inside barbara.

”thanks, delia.” barbara smiled.

after going through nearly every store at the mall, barbara had found six new dresses, two pairs of pants, and three shirts that she liked. they were still in barbara’s style, but they were much more neutral, rather than barbara’s current jewel tones. and of course, delia managed to find herself in the crystal store.

the two settled down, with all their bags, at a local coffee shop, both having ordered tea.

”again, thank you so much, delia.” said barbara contently.

”i told you. it’s no problem.” delia smiled. she gazed lovingly on barbara’s face.

”uhh delia.” called the twenty something behind the counter.

”i’ll go get it.” barbara quickly hopped up.

”oh, thank you!” delia called after her.

barbara mostly got up so she could hide her face. she felt she was blushing a lot, and just needed a moment to not worry about delia’s eyes. her beautiful eyes.

barbara waited for her tea to be finished.

”here you go.” barbara handed delia her tea and sat down. “don’t you want something warm? what with this chilly weather we’ve been having recently.”

”you’re right. do you mind if i try a sip?” she gestured at barbara’s steaming beverage.

”oh, yeah. sure.” she handed over the cup, “do you mind?” she picked up delia’s cup. delia nodded.

the two each took the first sip of the other’s drink. “that is delicious.” said delia, handing the drink back to barbara.

”i have to say i agree.” barbara took a sip of her own drink and laughed. “yours is good too, of course.”

they fell into a comfortable, ordinary conversation about lydia. she had recently gotten a girlfriend, her first in fact, and they were excited for her.

”young love…” commented delia. she lay her hand over barbara’s.

barbara stared at the overlapping hands as if it were a foreign image. her brain snapped back to reality, and she blurted out “uh, this is a date. right?” 

delia dropped her eyes, “i was hoping it is.”

@meangirlsx @meangirlmurphy @eliza-is-confused @boredomimi

[mariajustinteriordesigns]

Corona, Corona, Corona!

Coronavirus. I’ve intentionally not addressed it here or on Instagram because, well, everyone is talking about it. It’s all we read, see, discuss, and often, try to avoid. It’s on our minds constantly. But today I want to talk about it because lots of you have asked how I’m doing over here in Germany and well, I want to pull my head out of the sand and say something.

It’s strange. It’s quiet and empty on the streets most of the day. Here in Germany it’s not such a big deal as it is in Italy, China, America… But it’s still felt, you still worry. We just had nearly 4 weeks of lockdown, which was was rough. Things have lifted a bit, but still, we can’t go to or host parties, no concerts or fests can take place, large stores and malls are closed, gyms and schools are closed, no classes or workshops, all of the design fairs for most of the year are canceled, it’s a mess.

Everyone you pass in the grocery store looks at you with suspicious eyes, you return the same uncertain gaze - “Are they infected, will they sneeze on me, will I be next?”. I feel like I live in a very strange Sci-Fi film only I’m REALLY living in this strange time and I don’t know when life will be back to normal. Those good old days when you wake up and decide to see friends, colleagues, grab a coffee in your favorite cafe, ride the subway, sit in conference rooms with others, play with your kid in the playground, hug your grandma. My son hasn’t hugged or hung out with his grandmother in a month. He also hasn’t seen or played with any of his friends from kindergarten. That’s rough when you’re six. It’s also rough when you’re not six. I’m a highly sensitive extrovert who loves to hug and touch everything and everyone, so I’m struggling…

In a strange (perverse) way, Corona was sorta exciting at the beginning.

It was, let’s face it, bullshit aside. Kinda like when a hurricane is expected and you’re following the story on the news. You have this strange feeling of excitement coupled with intense fear. It’s sick, but it’s human.

I remember growing up in “hurricane alley” on the beach in South Carolina and each Autumn, we waited. We knew hurricanes would come, and we always lived in fear of the “big one”. We had some major ones when I grew up, followed by intense cyclones that would rip apart our neighborhoods. I remember one day a hurricane came and flooded our neighborhood. I waded in water to my thighs to go visit the neighbor’s kids. Alligators swam in the streets along with fish and water snakes, some highly toxic. I also remember the tornadoes. All of them.

I’ll never forget laying in an empty bathtub when the “sound of a freight train” could be heard. You knew the tornado was there, it was coming, and as you heard the destruction around you, you could only hide inside of something very heavy that would most likely keep you also held in place so that you wouldn’t blow away. Once when I was around 12, one hit our neighborhood and after it left, I walked outside to find sunshine and total stillness. Yet, around me, I could see destruction. Cars tipped over or thrown down the street, houses flattened, neighbors crying, ambulance sirens filling the air. That day we were lucky, 75% of our neighborhood was flattened.

People died. Our home was untouched.

I have to admit, even though I grew up around natural disasters and know the power of nature, I still had a strange sense of excitement when I knew a storm was coming. All the kids in my school did, so I wasn’t the only isolated weirdo who felt that way. It’s strange, how humans are, isn’t it? But you know what, the moment you HEAR or SEE the storm, it’s totally different.

That’s kinda like Corona. When it wasn’t in my neighborhood, it was a little bit exciting to hear about this virus, before reports of people dying started to surface. Then the news went very, very sour after the first death toll numbers from China started showing up. I felt scared and sad, but even then, I felt separated emotionally. I still had my life OVER HERE. It wasn’t going to come to ME.

Did you feel the same?

Then it came to Italy. It affected my friends there. And the businesses that I love. I definitely felt sick to my stomach. Salone, our big European design fair, canceled for April. Corona felt REALLY real then. Yet, Germany still didn’t have any lockdowns in place, so I naively thought, “That’s Italy, maybe it will stay there and end there.” Nope. Then Salone canceled again, for Fall 2020. Suddenly a strong truth rose to the surface.

We were/are screwed.

It’s been about a few months since then, and we’ve been on lockdown for 4 weeks, which will extend into the first week of May, and they will reevaluate things. I look forward (so much) to the weekly grocery store run that we do as a family. It’s the only real social life/excitement that I have these days. We visit the city forest about 3 times a week (it’s behind my house) for exercise. But it’s always so mobbed with the rest of the residents in my city that it doesn’t feel completely safe. We started driving out to the countryside to deserted areas to bike and walk, and breathe. Yesterday we went to the lake, it was wonderful. We all pray this ends soon but inside, we know it won’t.

Some of my dear, close friends have corona, even a family member. I just recovered from a four-month-long bacterial infection in my lungs (that ended mid-February right when corona hit Germany). I feel vulnerable because my lungs are still weak, so I have taken extra precautions to not go outside except when I really must.

Corona is a serial killer.

It’s stalking people around the world, in my country, in my state, IN MY CITY, I hate this thing and want it to end. I hate hearing about it. I’m tired of the conspiracy theories and lies and fake news too. I’m just tired of all of it. I am tired of feeling like I’m on house arrest. I hate watching my son feel lonely.

Yet, with all of this Corona craziness around me, I feel strongly and intensely focused on my goals, my life, my family, my work. I have ZERO distraction, I have found a beautiful new side of myself that has been hiding for years. The Holly that was once so fearless, so full of adventure, the Holly that just jumped in and did things without planning and strategizing - and still got it right. I’ve changed a lot for the past two years, working back in the corporate world again with my magazine. I’ve enjoyed it, but being back in corporate 10 days a month reminds me of the things about corporate life that I was happy to leave in my past when I left in 2005 to become a freelancer. I love the balance of both worlds, but if I had to pick one, I am happiest when I am left on my own to do my thing as a freelancer. My team seems to know this and they let me do my thing because micromanaging me would kill the entire project, and I think they know that by now. HOLLY magazine is beautiful and inspiring but it’s been a hard adjustment for me, and there are some days when the only thing that motivates me to stay on the project is the end result - the inspiring magazine that we create together that definitely makes us all proud to be a part of. It trumps the sometimes corporate pain, though some days the pain can really feel heavy and hard to take and most of all, frustrating. And to be fair, I know my team also feels the same pain, many of them are free birds at heart (like me) and I sense their frustration.

Aside from Corona, my work, my family… What else can I say? I’m staying positive, enjoying all of the sunshine we’ve had for the past month almost non-stop (even if only through the window or on the balcony), and I’m looking ahead to when I can see my friends again and have an excuse to dress up.

I’m extremely keen to get back to the salon, my hair looks horrible lately - like hay - and I’d really love to get a regular gym routine down and use the sauna. But for now, I’m really working on enjoying what I have. I’m able to spend 24/7 with my little boy, which has had its share of frustrations for us both, but has been absolutely awesome for the most part because starting in September, he’ll be in first grade and that’s it - no more little boy home with mama anymore. Something that has been a big part of my life - him - will be a schoolboy and becoming more and more independent and that’s something that Corona gave me - a gift in disguise, that instead of being in kindergarten full-time up until primary school begins, he’s home with me and we are really close and our relationship has deepened a great deal. He has been home all of the time, all to himself, and it’s a good thing for him right now because he needs me. Blessings in disguise are all around me if I just look. Sure, I have little cash flow at the moment like I once did, but cash means nothing ultimately - it’s the hugs from your children, the chats with your husband at 2am, it’s the long baths and the face masks while reading books that you haven’t read in years.

“Only boring people are bored.”

— Betty Draper, Epi 6, Season 3, Mad Men

I’ve also baked about 8 cakes in 4 weeks, so I’ve gained about 10 pounds but I’m happy so who really cares. My butt may be bigger, my so is my heart, my intuition, my passion for work and family, my love for my home, my relationship with my blog and Insta followers is bigger and better, and I have a greater appreciation for the little things that I’d not paid attention to at all pre-Corona.

COVID-19 is horrible, what can I say really? But at least each of us has the power to take something good from this strange time, to be positive regardless, and to make our day valuable and meaningful, so just do that, stay healthy and have another slice of cake. Like Betty said in an episode of Madmen that always stuck in my brain, “Only boring people are bored”. Stay creative and curious, often limitation fosters creativity so see if you are able to make something wonderful come from your current limitations…

Thanks For your time, dear readers. Stay safe, positive, and smile.

Love,

Holly

(Photography/Styling: Holly Becker.)