#oblivi*n has been fun & it's really helping me cope and stay grounded in my spare time now that uni has started up again fgdhghf

[wlwaerith]

i haven't spoken about her too much bc i'm still nervous when it comes to introducing new ocs (working on it!) but i need everyone to know that i'm spinning my hero of kvatch around so fast in my brain that she probably has motion sickness

[cocastyle]

Robin — TWO

Pairing - Joel Dawson x reader

Word Count - 4,476

A/N - new update for Robin!! yay!! this series as been so much fun writing so far and I’m overwhelmed by the unexpected love for this series so far! I hope you all continue to enjoy it as much as I! I have a lot in store for our very own Batman and Robin duo :))

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

R O B I N

Robin Series Masterlist

⭒❃.✮:▹  TWO   ◃:✮.❃⭒

Dear Aimee,

This week has been especially shitty.

We lost Connor to what looked like a really big ant. It helps me to draw them. I try to capture their essence, scribble down some notes on how to kill them.

Turns out Robin's katanas can pretty much solve anything. Although, I'm pretty sure it's just because Robin's the one wielding them.

Sometimes I think drawing them is the only way I know how to cope with these things. That and having Y/N. She helps me a lot more than I give her credit for.

I owe her my life.

We've lost a lot of people over the years. You'd think you'd get numb to it after a certain point.

You don't.

- - -

Y/N walked through the hallway with a small skip in her step. Despite everything that had happened in the past week, she still managed to feel happy just at the thought of being with her best friend. With her activities for the morning already done, she was determined to spend some time with Joel who she knew was still a bit down on himself about what had happened during the breach.

She had set up the target in the room where Gertie and Mav1s were, knowing that the boy had been begging her to teach him how to shoot for a while now. She had about a half an hour before she had to be back with the hunting squad, so she was hurrying to get to Joel so that they could have more time working with the crossbow.

She was almost to his room when she heard his voice echoing down the hall. Furrowing her eyebrows, she picked up her speed and went pass his bedroom until she was at the radio room. She poked her head inside, her eyes landing on the boy who sat at the desk with the radio turned on.

"This is 7045. Come in, 3022. I repeat, come in, 3022. Over," Joel said, his eyes flickering over the map in front of him where he had 'X's marked everywhere except for the circle around their bunker and 3022.

"This is 3022. What is it now, Ray?" a voice replied over the radio making Joel sit up a bit more.

"Hey, Janice. No, it's actually. . .It's, uh, Joel," he told her making Y/N smile softly as she watched the boy.

There was a long moment of silence before the woman chuckled, "Oh. Joel."

"Yeah," he replied, smiling slightly.

"All right. Hold on one second," Janice said. "Aimee, it's Ray!"

Y/N’s smile faltered at that, muttering softly to herself, "Aimee, of course."

"Joel," the boy corrected with a small sigh into the radio. "Thanks, Janice."

"Joel! Hey!" a new voice said, instantly making the boy perk up as a big grin took over his features.

"Hey, Aimee! Hi!" Joel exclaimed. "How are you?"

"Hi. Yeah. I, uh. . .I'm good," Aimee told him.

"It's so good to hear your voice," Joel admitted, relaxing a bit at finally being able to hear her voice once again.

Y/N watched him for a moment longer before smiling sadly and turning to walk away. She knew how much getting to talk to Aimee meant to him, so she wasn't about to interrupt him with something he honestly probably didn't care to do. Besides, she wanted to give him some privacy to talk to the girl he was in love with. After all, that's what she would've wanted if it were her having to talk to Joel over the radio.

The girl walked aimlessly down the hallway, lost in her own thoughts about Joel before she was snapped back to attention when a voice softly called out, "Y/N, are you alright?"

She came to a stop, her head lifting up to notice Kala standing in front of the memorial they had for all the lost colony members. The girl's eyes were on her, concern evident despite the sadness in her eyes.

Y/N gave her a forced smile and said, "I'm fine, Kala."

Kala just stared at her before giving her a sad smile and whispering, "Joel's talking with Aimee again, isn't he?"

Y/N looked away at that, swallowing thickly before asking, "How. . .how are you?"

Kala went quiet and glanced down at the hat in her hands that had belonged to Connor. When she continued to not respond, Y/N walked across the room and pulled the girl in for a hug. Kala melted into her embrace, her body shaking a bit as she softly cried.

"I know," Y/N whispered, holding onto the girl tightly in hopes she would realize she was no alone. "Connor. . ." She trailed off as she felt her own sadness bubbling into her throat. After all, Connor and her had been close. He was a part of the hunting team with her. He had been like brother to her and she had lost him. "He was a great person and he loved you so much. He died protecting you."

Kala sniffled and nodded her head. "I know," she said, her voice cracking a bit.

The sound of footsteps approaching pulled the two apart and they turned to see Joel walking in. He plopped down on a seat beside one of the tables, a numb and upset look on his face that made Y/N’s heart break.

"I'm going to go put Connor's hat up," Kala muttered, her hand gently squeezing Y/N’s arm in order to pull the girl's attention back to her. "Thank you."

Y/N nodded and Kala gave her a small smile before walking back over to the memorial while Y/N walked over to Joel. She sat down in the seat beside him, the boy instantly looking her way while she offered him a small smile.

"Hey," she whispered. "How are you?" Joel looked away at that and Y/N sighed, "Joel, you need to put the breach thing behind you, okay? No one was expecting it, so you can’t blame yourself for being scared."

"But you're not scared," Joel retorted, his head still hung low.

"Are you kidding me? I'm always scared," Y/N told him, her words making him look up at her. "It's my fear that keeps me going.It's my fear that pushes me through whatever challenges may come my way."

Y/N didn't go into the fact that her fear was never truly about herself. Her fear had always and would always be for Joel's life. For if she died, then that meant Joel could die simply because she wouldn't be there to protect her. And that's what scared her more than anything in the world.

The thought of Joel dying.

So in her mind, she survived for him. She survived so that Joel would survive.

The boy was looking at her, still not saying anything. Sighing, the girl reached out and placed a hand on top of his own. She gave him a reassuring smile before saying, "Even Batman was afraid every once in a while, Joel. That's what makes him human."

Joel smiled a little at that, squeezing her hand and rubbing his thumb over the top of her skin while Y/N smiled back.

She let go of his hand and leaned back in her chair, propping her feet up on the table as she looked to the boy. "How's Aimee?" she asked.

Joel looked at her in surprise, not sure how she could've known he was talking to the girl, before saying, "I think she's fine. We. . .we didn't get to talk much before the radio cut off."

Y/N frowned, "I'm sorry, Joel."

Joel smiled weakly and looked down at the table before whispering, "I just miss her."

Y/N felt her heart ache at the sight of him and she quickly dropped her feet to the ground before wrapping an arm around his shoulders and leaning her head against him. "I know," she whispered softly, ignoring the way her heart slightly broke knowing that even after seven years of not seeing her, Joel still loved Aimee.

Y/N had gone through seven years of watching him pine after a girl who barely even seemed to understand what she had when he was her boyfriend. Yet she still stuck by his side even though she found herself falling in love with him even more with each second that passed.

Joel let out a soft sigh and leaned his head against her own, relishing in the comfort of his best friend while his heart ached for the girl he loved.

Still oblivious to the fact that the girl holding onto him loved him more than Aimee ever could.

- - -

"I wanna know how it got in," Karen demanded, frowning from where she sat down at the table. The whole colony was there, the discussion about how the monster had gotten in finally being brought up after giving everyone enough time to mourn.

Y/N was watching Joel, her eyes flickering over the boy who sat on the opposite end of the table with his gaze on the table and a numb look upon his face. Frowning, she pulled her gaze away and looked to Karen. "You sure about that?" Y/N asked. "Sometimes it's better not knowing."

Karen was hesitant, knowing that what the girl said was true. After all, the hunting team didn't always tell them what went on unless everyone agreed on it. It was better for some people to have to worry about certain things over others. When she gave a small nod in response, Y/N looked to Tim and gestured for him to go ahead.

With Connor gone, Y/N was one of the designated leaders at the moment. She had a bit of a reputation in the colony anyways, having worked her way to top hunter on their squad within a matter of weeks. So Tim didn't hesitate to comply to her orders, looking around at the others as he explained, "It appears to have ripped through one of our perimeter defenses."

"What, it ripped through steel?" Anna Lucia asked, having not known that bit of information.

"Y/N, Anderson, and I resealed the breach point and the vent. Nothing's getting in that way again," Tim assured them.

"And if they do, we'll be ready. I set up triggers around possible breach points to help alert us when something's attempting to get in. Next time one tries to strike, the team and I will be out there ready to take it down," Y/N said.

"But why did it happen?" Karen asked.

"It was a freak occurrence," Ray told her. "There's no reason to think it'll happen again."

"Ray's right. We only took precautions just to be safe," Y/N spoke up. "We should try to stay calm. There's no use worrying—"

"How far away is Aimee's colony?" Joel spoke up, his voice making them all go silent while the boy looked over at them.

"What?" Tim asked.

"Aimee's colony," Joel repeated, ignoring the fact that everyone's eyes were now on him including Y/N who looked like she didn't understand what was happening. "How far away is it?"

"About eighty five miles," Ray answered.

"How long does that take to get there?" Joel questioned. Y/N sat up a bit, her feet that she had propped up on the table falling to the ground as she stared at her best friend.

"Joel, you're not actually thinking of going?" Tim said confused.

"Tim, just. . .humor me," Joel pleaded. "How long?"

"Seven days," Y/N spoke up, causing the boy to look her way. She was watching him, her eyes flickering over his face while she had a completely blank look upon her face. It was enough to make Joel still, for he had never seen her act that way, but he was too focused on her words to speak up about it. "Minimum."

"An armed and trained hunting party would be lucky to last fifty miles on the surface," Anna Lucia said, the others all looking at each other and mumbling in agreement while Joel looked off in thought and Y/N continued to study him with narrowed eyes. "But you, Joel. . ."

"All right," Tim spoke up, noticing the way Y/N had obviously gotten distracted by what her best friend was saying. "Now I need volunteers to help reinforce some of the outer perimeter."

Everyone began to speak up, agreeing to help out, but Joel spoke out again, his voice making everyone freeze as he said, "I'm gonna go."

Everyone was dead silent as they looked to him, Y/N’s face growing a bit pale while Joel ignored her gaze. "It's an impossible journey, Joel," Tim told him.

Joel shook his head and stood up. "No, I'm serious," he said. "I love you guys, but Aimee is one of the only people in this world who ever truly made me happy, and she's only eighty five miles away. And I'm gonna go see her." He let out a breath he had been holding before smiling slightly. "That felt awesome." He then turned and walked out of the room, leaving everyone staring after him.

All eyes turned to Y/N who was staring at the place Joel had just been with tears in her eyes. All she could hear were Joel's words playing over and over in her head.

Aimee is one of the only people in this world who ever truly made me happy.

Aimee is one of the only people in this world who ever truly made me happy.

It took her a moment, but Y/N was up and out of her seat without a second thought. She ran out of the room, leaving the others to sigh and exchange a look for they knew Joel's words had hit her harder than he meant to let them.

By the time she reached Joel's room, her tears were long gone and her mind was already made up. She appeared in the doorway, her eyes instantly locking on Joel who was shoving his few belongings into his backpack. He glanced up at her, his eyes hesitating on her form for a moment before he looked back down.

"I have to go, Robin. I can't stay here anymore and just wait for something to happen. I'm done waiting," he told her, shoving his journal and pencils into his backpack as he did so.

"I know," Y/N replied. "You have to do this. You should go." Joel looked up to her at that, his face displaying a look of shock for a small second. She smiled softly at him before walking towards him and saying, "But I'm coming too."

"You're. . .you're what?" Joel asked in surprise, his eyes flickering over her face as she came to stop in front of him.

"Joel, you're the only person who makes me happy," she began, her words making his heart skip a beat which he quickly pushed aside as nothing. "I can't let you just leave without me."

Joel was reminded of what he said earlier and his face softened as he reached out and cupped her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. "You know I didn't mean that you don't make me happy, right?" he eyes searching her own to make sure she understood what he was saying. "Cause you do, Robin. You're the one that keeps me going every day."

He let go of her and turned to his backpack which he zipped up, missing the way Y/N’s face heated up for a second due to his words and display of affection. She quickly pushed her feelings aside, knowing Joel always had been an affectionate person. It was just how their friendship worked.

"But I have to go see Aimee," Joel continued, letting his gaze fall back upon his best friend. "And I can't just make you come with."

"You're not making me do anything," Y/N assured him. "I'm coming. We stick together through everything, remember?" She took a step forward before holding her hand out to the boy. "Batman and Robin, right?"

Joel hesitated as he looked to her, a smile slowly making its way onto his face while he felt his heart swell with an emotion that he pushed aside as nothing else but relief in getting to keep her by his side.

"Batman and Robin," he agreed, clasping his hand in her own while they exchanged small smiles.

Y/N gave him a short nod before taking a step back which caused Joel to frown because it suddenly felt like he was missing a warmth he hadn't known had been there when she was right in front of him.

"I'm going to go grab my things," Y/N said. "I'll meet you by the exit." And with that, she ran out of the room, leaving Joel to stare after her. He was a bit confused as to what he had just felt, but didn't think much of it as he turned back to his bag and smiled.

"I'm coming, Aimee," he whispered, thoughts of reuniting with the love of his life running through his head.

- - -

Dear Aimee,

I am done hiding. I am done waiting for things to get better.

It's time to take matters into my own hands. Time to let someone else make the minestrone.

I'm taking a radio, even though it doesn't have power. But I'm gonna take it anyway.

Robin's coming with me. She's just the best, you know?

I didn't want to admit it, but the thought of leaving her behind had scared me. Knowing she'll be there with me every step of the way, it provides me a sort of comfort that I can't even begin to describe.

I can do anything if I have her with me. Walking eighty five miles through a monster infested world will be a piece of cake.

- - -

When Y/N was done packing, she went off to find the rest of the colony, knowing she would have to explain to them that she was going with Joel even if they might not want her to. Muttering rehearsed lines to herself, Y/N walked into the main room where the colony was all huddled around a map and writing things down.

"Guys," Y/N began, letting out a shaky breath. "I'm—"

However, she didn't get a chance to finish before she was being tackled in a hug by Kala. Y/N fell into a stunned silence, hesitantly hugging the girl back in confusion before Kala pulled away to look at her.

"You're going with him," Kala stated. "We know." Y/N blinked in surprise before looking around at the others who all just nodded softly despite the sad smiles on their faces. The girl looked back to Kala who just smiled softly. "It's okay, Y/N. We knew you would."

"I didn't want to do this to you guys," Y/N admitted. "I know we just lost Connor and losing another person on the hunting team isn't ideal, but I have to go with him. He's my best friend."

They all nodded in understanding before Tim reached out to clap a hand on her shoulder. "You don't need to explain to us, Y/N," he told her. "We get it. Just know that we'll be waiting for you two when you get back."

Y/N smiled softly at that, falling into Tim's embrace while everyone smiled at the exchange. "So," Y/N began as she pulled away from the man, "what are you guys doing?"

"Attempting to make a map for the two of you. Well. . .mostly for Joel in case he somehow gets lost," Anna Lucia said making Y/N chuckle softly before she walked over to the table.

She smiled softly at the sight of all the notes on the front before noticing that there seemed to be something on the back. She flipped the paper over, her smile growing even more at the notes the crew had all written on the back for the boy.

"We were going to make one for you too," Kala spoke up. "But I think Joel needs more of a reminder of how much we love him than you do. I have a feeling you already know that."

Y/N smiled and looked up at the people who had become her family. "I know," she whispered making them all smile before she looked down at the paper snd grabbed ahold of one of the pens. She scribbled down a small note on the back to go along with the others before Karen folded the map up.

It was when she was almost finished folding it that they heard Ray call out, "He's not joking."

They all walked out of the room at that, Y/N catching sight of Joel making his way over towards them with his backpack on and two crossbows and her katanas in hand. His eyes locked with hers and he smiled before holding out her weapons. "I think you may have forgotten something," he mused making the girl roll her eyes.

"Thanks, Joel," she said before grabbing the katanas and strapping them into her back and under her backpack. She then took the crossbow and the two turned to head towards the ladder that led to up above when Tim stepped in their way.

"We're not letting you two leave. You're needed here," Tim told them, even though Y/N knew that he understood he wasn't going to be able to stop them.

"Tim, Y/N may be, but I'm not. Come on. I don't do anything," Joel said.

"Joel, that's not true. You fix the radio. You make the minestrone," Tim stopped after that and winced slightly at his own words. "Okay. Doesn't sound as important when I say it out loud."

"I appreciate you trying," Joel assured him. "Really, I do. I just don't feel like I belong anywhere. I don't really wanna die all alone at the end of the world, so. . ."

Tim stared at the boy for a moment, his eyes flickering over to Y/N who gently shook her head at him to let him know he shouldn't say anything about her feelings for the boy. Tim sighed and turned away, allowing the two to walk by.

Joel moved forward, but paused before looking back at the others. "Look, I know you guys all just think of me as, like, some little, pathetic, adorable hedgehog. But I can take care of myself. I'm actually probably a lot stronger than you might think," he told them.

Y/N smiled softly at the boy's words, knowing how badly he wanted to prove to them all that he could do this. She placed a hand on his arm and Joel looked her way, smiling as she squeezed his arm before looking to the others. "We'll take care of each other," she assured them. "We've survived seven years. We can survive seven days."

The colony didn't say anything until finally Karen stepped forward and held the map out to Joel. "We made you a map," Karen told him.

"Thanks, Karen," Joel whispered before the girl reached up to hug him. Joel hugged her back and Karen pulled away with a sad smile before going over to Y/N and hugging her as well.

"Just. . .take care," Karen whispered before she pulled away and backed up to join the others. Y/N stared out at the people who had become her family, her eyes tearing up a bit as she knew that there was a possibility she would never see them again.

She felt a hand latch onto her own and Y/N looked to her left to see Joel giving her a reassuring smile as his fingers intertwined with her own. Y/N gave him a shaky smile in return while Joel rubbed his thumb across the skin on top of her hand.

"Everything will try to kill you," Ray told them.

"Oh," Joel muttered, making a small face which made Y/N chuckle softly.

"Be observant. Use the advantages that you have. You're fast and small and Y/N is one of our best hunters, so, Joel, don't fight. Just run and hide. Y/N, you should do that too, but if you need to, use those katanas and crossbow like your life depends on it cause it does," Ray said.

"Don't fight," Joel repeated, making another face before looking to Y/N. "So Robin fights, but Batman doesn't?" he whispered to her. She just smiled shyly at him.

Ray reached out and pulled the two into a hug, Joel and Y/N hugging him back while their intertwined hands still stayed by their side.

"You're both assholes if you get eaten," Ray told them.

Y/N smiled at that before saying, "And you all are douchebags if you don't answer our call when we get there."

The group all chuckled while Joel went to hook his crossbow to his backpack. Everyone fell silent as they watched him, their smiled falling as he struggled to simply latch the crossbow to his back. Y/N sighed and brought her free hand up to facepalm herself while Joel just awkwardly laughed and tried to latch the crossbow one more time.

This time it latched into place and he smiled before saying, "Okay."

"Nice," Ava muttered.

Joel ignored her comment and squeezed Y/N’s hand before turning to climb up the ladder. "I love you guys. Tell Aimee I'll see her in seven days," he said before climbing up the ladder.

"We believe in you," Karen called after him.

"Love you, buddy," Tim said.

Y/N walked over to the ladder before hesitating at the bottom. She glanced back at the colony, her eyes flickering over each of them. Karen and Kala were softly crying as they hugged each other, the others all looking at her sadly before Tim just gave her a small nod.

"Take care of him," Tim said before hesitating. "And yourself."

"I will," Y/N whispered, smiling at the group one last time. "I love you guys."

"Love you too," they all chorused as she began to climb up the ladder like Joel had. The latch was already open by the time she reached the top and she was blinded by the sunlight until Joel moved himself above the hole and looked down at her.

"You sure about this?" he asked, his eyes flickering over her face for any signs of hesitation.

Y/N smiled softly, "I'm sure."

Joel smiled at that before holding his hand out, the girl looking to it for a moment as she realized just what it is they were doing. Was she really about to help the boy she loved reunite with the girl he was in love with? It was crazy. She knew that. Yet seeing that smile on Joel's face and knowing that this was what he wanted, what he needed, to be happy was enough for her to know this was the right thing to do.

Then, without another second thinking about it, Y/N took ahold of the boy's hand and he pulled her into the world above.

- - -

Tag List

@simplybarnes

@spideysimpossiblegirl

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@katemusic

@eternallyvenus

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[angstysebfan]

If You Love Me, Why Did You Hurt Me? 4/?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader  Other Avengers Mentioned: Everyone! Warnings: cursing

Summary: You dated Bucky for 5 wonderful years! You thought he was the one! Then, without reason, he ends your relationship, and gets a new girlfriend 2 days later! While you are both Avengers, you still have to see him, and his girlfriend.

Series Masterlist

You’re sitting on your bed. Staring off into space. Rehab. You couldn’t believe they were sending you to rehab. It wasn’t just for the alcohol, it was to help you deal with all the feelings. Stupid feelings. 

The psychiatrist feels its because you stopped yourself from feeling any emotion when you were younger, then felt so much emotion with Bucky, that now you don’t know how to deal with it. She also feels that you have severe abandonment issues. First your parents left you when you were 3 years old. Then you were pushed from foster home to foster home. The cherry on top of all that was Bucky leaving you. 

She feels that a few months in this center with daily therapy sessions, both private and group, will help you cope with all the feelings you have. You weren’t sold, but Steve and Tony promised you, your job as an Avenger will be waiting for you, when you get out. So here you are, packing that damn duffel bag again. Waiting for Tony and Steve to bring you. 

“Hey, you need any help?” Natasha asked as she walking into your room. 

“No, I think I got everything. Just don’t want to leave” you said, looking down to the floor, tears threatening. Natasha became your best friend when you moved in. She was like a sister more than a friend. She hated that you had been doing this to yourself these past few weeks. She sat next to you and put her arm over your shoulders.

“This will help. You know you can call me anytime. Just know that I am here for you, and that I love you.” You look up and see she also has tears in her eyes. You turn toward her and give her a hug. “I love you too, Nat”, you whispered through your tears.

You both separate, when you hear a throat clearing. Steve is standing at your door. “You ready to go?” Nodding, you grab your duffel bag, and all 3 head out of the room. 

When you get down to the common room, the whole team is there. Wanda runs up and gives you a big hug. Vision pats you on the shoulder. Sam is next giving you a big hug and whispers that he will miss you, in your ear. Clint signs he loves you and gives you a hug. Tony takes your bag and heads toward the elevator. You turn around to see your friends one more time. The tears are falling down your face. “I love you all”, you say then turn and walk to the elevator. 

As Steve and Tony walk you to the car outside, you hear your name being called by the one voice you didn’t expect to hear.

“Y/N! Wait!” You turn and see Bucky running towards you. Steve and Tony step up to block him from coming closer.

“No way Barnes! You have done enough!” Tony yells trying to keep the super soldier away from you.

“Please let me say one thing! Please!” Bucky says with pleading eyes. Steve looks at you. You nod.

“2 minutes Buck, that’s it”, Steve says. Bucky nods at him and walks up to you. Steve and Tony put your bag in the trunk and get into the car, giving you some privacy.

You’re looking down at the ground trying to imagine what he could possibly say.

Bucky tries to control his breathing. “Y/N, I... I am so sorry. Sorry isn’t even the word for how bad I feel. You didn’t deserve how I ended things. I was an idiot, for multiple reasons. M-Mostly for letting you go.” He says the last thing in a whisper, but you heard it.

Your head shot up. Is he for real? He breaks up with you in the worst way possible, with no reason as to why. 2 days later comes in with another girl, then when you are on your way to rehab, because of him, he tells you he regrets breaking up with you? What. The. Hell?!

“Are you fucking serious? Are you trying to hurt me more? Do you and Brittney get off on making me suffer, or something?”

“What? No! I mean it! I miss you every day. I still love you! I will regret what I did to you every day for the rest of my life.” You look at him, trying to find the lie in his words. You don’t find it. You shake your head.

“I can’t do this right now, Bucky. I have to go.” You turn and get into the car. You don’t look at him as you pull away from the compound. Your mind going 1000 miles per hour. He missed you. He regrets hurting you. He still loves you. 

A part of you is so happy! The other part wants him to suffer. You figure you will see what happens after being away for a few months.

~ Time Jump- 3 months later~

You walk hand-in-hand up the driveway toward the compound. It’s been a long 3 months away, but you are so happy to be back home. Especially with your surprise! 

You met Aaron while in rehab. He was in there for depression as well, and you 2 really hit it off during group therapy sessions. Soon you were spending every moment possible together. He was very supportive, and listened when you told him what happened. He said, “If you were my girl, I would never let you go.” You figured why not give a relationship a try. If he could fall for you when you are at your worst, then he will definitely love you at your best! 

You enter from the elevator into the common room to see your family standing in front of a “Welcome Home” sign! You squeal as you let go of Aaron’s hand and run into a group hug. You missed them all. Even Thor came down to celebrate.

“Guys, I missed you all so much! I am so happy to finally be back home. This was the right decision, and I am so glad I did this.”

Once you all separated from the hug, you turned and reached for Aaron’s hand. “This is Aaron. He was also one of the patients at the center. He was my biggest supporter in there. We decided to try a relationship, so... he is my boyfriend!” 

Everyone stopped and looked at the man standing next to you. Shocked expressions on their faces. One by one, they smiled and introduced themselves. Then you heard a thud behind you. You turned around to see Bucky, looking at you and Aaron, an unreadable expression on his face. On the ground a bouquet of your favorite flowers. 

“Boyfriend? Wow!” Was all Bucky was able to say. He really had hoped that he would be able to win you back, but now he wasn’t so sure you would even give him a chance.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes, boyfriend. Aaron, this is James, my ex.” Bucky winced at your words.

Aaron looks from you to Bucky, then puts a smug grin on his face. “Oh, you’re the one? Well, all I have to say is thank you. I got a pretty great girl, because of you.”

Everyone behind you gasped. You were shocked at Aarons words, but tried to not let it show. You and Bucky just kept staring at each other. Waiting to see who will make the first move. Finally, you break first.

“Where is Brittney? I thought she would be hanging off of you, like usual.” You grab hold of Aaron’s hand as you say this, rolling your eyes. 

Bucky just stared at you. “We broke up. W-Was never going to work out. I’m meant to be with someone else” Bucky said. Blushing you have to break the eye contact. But you can’t help but notice the little butterflies in your stomach at his words.

“Well.. I am sorry to hear about that.” You turn and look at your team and then at Aaron. “I think we are going to go unpack in my room before we head over to Aaron’s new place.

“We made dinner for you y/n/n” Nat says hopefully. “Please stay.”

You look at Aaron, who shrugs at you. You look back at the team, and then at Bucky, who looks down somewhat defeated. “I guess we can eat first.”

Dinner was fun. It had been so long since you ate with your team. You really missed your family. You sat in between Aaron and Nat. Bucky, unfortunately sat directly across from you. Every time you snuck a glance, he was staring at you. It unnerved you, slightly. But it also made those stupid butterflies flutter in your stomach.

Aaron was amazing. Answered every question and took every threat about hurting you in stride. After dinner, you both went up to your room. 

“Sorry about my friends, they are just really protective, especially after what happened”, you say as you put your clothes in their proper drawer. Aaron comes up from behind and wraps his arms around your waist. “I don’t mind. I enjoyed it actually. I like that they care.” 

He starts kissing your neck, which surprises you. You haven’t been touchy in your relationship, you are not sure how you feel about it. You turn around in his arms and peck him on the cheek to get him to stop.

“You ready to head to your place?” You ask. He continues to look down at you with a soft look in his eyes. Slowly his head starts moving towards yours, while stroking your cheek. You are unsure if you are ready for this or not, but by the time you make up your mind, his lips are on yours. 

Your whole body tenses as he moves his lips against yours. He seems to be completely oblivious to your awkwardness. You try to tell yourself to relax, but your body won’t listen. Then you feel his tongue swipe your bottom lip, and you quickly push away.

“Sorry. I guess I’m not ready to go down that road yet” you say anxiously. You are afraid to look at him, that he might be angry. He cups your chin and forces your to look into his eyes. He still has a very soft expression. 

“Don’t worry. We will go at your pace. I promise. I will never make you do something you don’t want to.” You smile, and hug him. 

Bucky is sitting up on the roof, drinking a beer. He keeps thinking of how you acted towards him tonight. He thought he might have a very small chance of working it out with you, but he sees that chance getting smaller now that you have that guy.

Bucky needed every ounce of control to not punch that guy out, after what he said. And he kept touching you during dinner. Bucky kept seeing red every time. You are his girl. Well, you were his girl, before he fucked it all up. 

Bucky hears the door open, and hopes to whatever god is up there that it’s you. As usual, he is disappointed to find his best friend standing in front of him, instead of you.

“You alright Buck?” Steve walks over and sits in the chair next to Bucky. Concern in his bright blue eyes. “You haven’t said much since Y/N came home.”

Bucky takes another swig of his beer, not looking at his friend. “Oh, I’m just great. Nothing like seeing all hope I had of fixing this get washed down the drain when I saw her walk in with that douche.”

“Yeah, I don’t really like the guy either. Don’t trust him, I don’t know why. But honestly pal, I don’t know how much hope you had with her anyway.” Bucky looked at Steve. 

“I know I fucked everything I had up, as usual. I honestly didn’t mean for anything to happen. I bought a ring, I was going to propose. What the hell is wrong with me?” Bucky stares off into the distance.

Steve gets up and pats Bucky on the back. “You got scared of being happy. It’s not an excuse for what you did, but it’s still the truth.”

Bucky sniffs, holding back tears. “I told you everything that happened between Brittney and I. What would you have done? I would have broken her heart, if she knew what happened. She would have left me! I don’t know if I could have taken it.”

“So instead, not only did you break her heart, you broke her completely. Buck, I know what you are saying, but be honest. You were protecting you, not her.” Steve shakes his head and starts walking back toward the door. He stops and turns toward Bucky again.

“I would have told her the truth. If she ended it, you might have had a fighting chance to win her back. I don’t like who she is with, but right now, she is the happiest she has been in months. Just let her be happy, please. If you love her, leave her alone.”

With that Steve leaves the roof. Bucky looks back at the door, tears going down his face. Steve is right. He was scared of getting hurt, so he hurt you first. You may never trust him again, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t going to fight for you.

Chapter 3   Chapter 5

Not sure how I like this chapter, but I’m interested to see where this goes. Let me know what you think! 

[jess-suvari]

t a g g i n g → @nogoodlachance

t i m e  f r a m e → March 24th. 

l o c a t i o n →  Ravenwood library

n o t e s → basically he confesses he has feelings for her and she kinda swerves while she tries to figure shit out

Greg: Greg hadn't been expecting to see Jessie, let alone get yelled at. His eyebrows shot up in surprise, before the embarrassment set in and he glanced around awkwardly to see if she'd attracted any attention. "What do you mean?" He asked, though he could guess what she was talking about. Greg hadn't been able to figure out what to say to Jessie for days now. It sucked, because she was one of the few people he could consistently talk to, and for a long time now she was probably his favorite person to be around. But that was exactly the problem. He already knew she and Trevor were a thing. What kind of a thing exactly no one had told him, but he figured he was better off not knowing. But being aware and witnessing it first hand were two different things. So when he'd passed by St. Elmo's and saw the two of them hooking up in Trevor's car...Greg really didn't know how to process that. Or how to talk to Jessie. He didn't mean to ignore her for this long, he'd tried to respond to the texts she sent, but he couldn't think of anything to say. Made even more difficult by the scene that played on repeat in his head whenever he thought about her now. He didn't see much, just enough to make it awkward. Really awkward. Almost as awkward as being yelled at by her in the school library.

Jessie: Even though Jessie knew she was probably causing a bit of a scene she couldn't be bothered enough to back down. By now everyone in town had to know how much she liked to argue. Seeing her yelling at or confronting someone probably wasn't too odd of an occurrence anymore. And to be honest making a scene was a lot less embarrassing to her than what he had done to her pride. "You know exactly what i'm talking about. Don't try to act all oblivious. That's just going to piss me off more." She huffed. "I see you have all your fingers. You're alive and in one piece. I'm not sure if you know this but when you read a message your phone lets the other person know you did so your phone's obviously not dead. So what the hell, Greg? I thought we were friends and shit. Here I was texting you like an idiot and you couldn't even come up with a half assed reply?" Jessie was obviously hurt. When it came to picking friends she was pretty exclusive in her selections, some would say picky, so she didn't have a lot of friends. And after everyone started going their separate ways once graduation came Jessie was left with even less friends. That's why her friendship with Greg was so important to her. Other than the fact that they had a lot in common, had similar backgrounds, and just an overall understanding; he was one of the few people she actually wanted to be around. It was safe to say in a couple of months he had become her best friend. Which is why it hurt when it seemed like he was trying to cut her out. And for her hurt always turned into anger, so when Greg acted like he didn't know what was going on she only got more pissed off.

Greg: "We are friends." Was the first thing out of his mouth. At that moment it felt like the most important thing that needed to be stated. "I'm sorry, I just..." He trailed off, once again unsure of what to say. He debated making something up, but it was too late to come up with any sort of excuse that he could get away with. Even the truth didn't seem like it would do him much good. He screwed up. Bad. "I didn't know what to say to you, so...I just, you know, didn't say anything at all." He shrugged, at a complete loss for anything else to do. He hated that he'd done this to Jessie, made her upset like this, he never wanted to be the cause of that for her. Unfortunately, Greg didn't know how to handle awkward situations. Or any situations. His coping mechanism was to hide and pretend nothing was happening until it went away. Unfortunately, that hardly ever worked.

Jessie: "Well I like to know that my friends are okay and not...like dead in a ditch somewhere or whatever." She said in a softer voice than when she first stormed in. She might not have always been the best friend, she wasn't great with showing affection to people, but she made it pretty obvious when she cared about someone. And all she wanted to do was take care of and protect the people she cared about. And that now included him. She softened up slightly once he finally started speaking up. Even though she was still picking up on his mannerisms she could tell he felt bad about the situation and that it seemed something else was on his mind. "I don't need an apology. I just need you to talk to me." She rubbed the bridge of her nose, something she only did when she was frustrated, as he kept trying to explain himself. Only now she wasn't so much frustrated because she was angry but because she was confused. Sometimes she didn't understand what Greg was talking about, it was like he was talking in riddles and it only made it harder to figure out what was wrong with him. "What do you mean you didn't know what to say to me? You're a writer, Greg! I don't understand how you have a way with words on paper but suck at it so bad in real life. What's going on? You've never backed down on speaking your mind around me before. What's so different now?" She knew she was probably being hard on him but one thing she learned from being friends with him was that he needed it. He needed someone to push him into doing things or simply speaking his mind.

Greg: That was always the argument made against him: but you're a writer. The worst mistake he might have ever made was telling anyone he was a writer. Suddenly everyone expected him to have a way with words, but it was the opposite. It had always been the opposite. The truth was, Greg never knew what to say to anyone about anything. Growing up in his house, he didn't need to. No one cared what he had to say, except his older brother Danny. Danny had always been the only one who gave a shit about him. But nothing Greg had to say felt like he mattered. He was always less than the older Lachance son, a fact he grew accustomed to at a very young age. He was quiet, kept to himself, shrugged more than he said any words. That might've been why he attracted the friends he did. Kids who were loud, and fun, and didn't think before throwing themselves head first into things, and dragged him along with them. Maybe that was why he was drawn to Jessie in the first place. She wasn't quiet, she wasn't soft, she pushed boundaries and expectations and people. She pushed him. Not to mention they seemed to have similar brands of pain sitting in their chests, boiling just under their ribs, flowing through their muscles heating their blood as it tried to find a means of escape. For him, that escape was writing. But the things he put on paper didn't sound the same out loud. His tongues couldn't form the shapes of the words his fingers could with a pen. "I saw you." He confessed, likcking his lips as he dropped his gaze awkwardly to the ground. "In the St. Elmo's parking lot." The image made his skin burn and he was sure it was visible on his cheeks if he would just look up.

Jessie: For some reason the silences before Greg could say anything made her more anxious than when words came out of his mouth. That probably had to do with the fact that she could never tell what was going on with him or what was on his mind. Jessie had always had a way of reading people, of watching their body language or reading between the lines of things they said to figure out what was going on or if someone was hiding something. It was why she was so good at the whole lawyer thing. She had a gift for reading people and using the knowledge she gained about them to get her way. But with Greg for some reason she just couldn't. Part of it she knew was because he was so quiet, so pensive, and kept to himself more often than not that there wasn't much to pick up on. He constantly lived in his head, so much so that when they hung out together Jessie would look at him when he didn't notice and wonder what was going on in that head of his. She also knew that another part of why she couldn't get a good read on him was because she was scared. What if she found out something that left her disillusioned in yet another person? Or worse, what if she found out they were more similar than she thought and she couldn't do anything to help him or ruined him more? This time, though, it was worse when he opened his mouth. This time Jessie wished he would have stayed quiet. "Shit." She said softly as heat flooded to her cheeks in embarrassment. So much so that she felt like she was probably as red as a tomato. "How much did you see?" Truthfully she knew it was probably better she didn't find out how much he saw, but she wanted to know. More importantly she wanted to know why it was such a big deal to him. "Okay, so you saw something awkward. It's natural. Everyone does it. If anyone should get awkward here it's me, considering...you know. So what's the big deal?"

Greg: "I mean...I didn't...I didn't see, like, a lot. Or anything." He tried to explain, closing his eyes briefly to try to block out the image once again. Truthfully, he hadn't seen all that much, and yet way too much. But that wasn't an explanation he could give her, and even if he could he knew it wouldn't make her feel any better about the situation. "No, I know. I know everyone does it. That's not...it wasn't th-the doing that was awkward. It was...I don't know." He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose hard as he tried to sort his thoughts out. "I don't know." He said again, quieter. How did he explain that? How did he explain why it was so awkward to see her hooking up with his best friend? He could barely even admit the reasoning to himself, let alone say it out loud. And saying it to her? He nearly puked on the spot just considering it. "It's not a big deal." He sighed, finally opening his eyes and daring to look at her. "It was just...me. I just...it's me being weird. Again. That's all. I'm sorry."

Jessie: Jessie crossed her arms across her chest subconsciously, suddenly feeling figuratively naked knowing that he had witnessed her in such a vulnerable position. "But you obviously saw enough to know it was me." She looked down at her feet, not able to look him in the eye after what he just admitted and very much speechless. That was until he started shutting down on her mid conversation. From what she did pick up about him and what she had seen in the past she knew that he tended to pull away from people or completely disassociate from them when things got weird or hard. But Jessie being as stubborn as she was wasn't going to let that happen. Not with her anyways. "Don't do that. Don't start blowing it off like it was nothing and then shut down. Because I have a pretty good bullshit detector. And right now it's blaring. Obviously it's a a big deal if you couldn't even talk to me, let alone look me in the eye until just now." Jessie raised her arms up, completely dumbfounded as to what was happening. Nothing was adding up and she was more confused than when she first stormed in. "What's going on? Do you not like me and Trevor hanging out or something?"

Greg: "No!" He defended quickly, a knee jerk reaction to her question, especially with the tension between them this conversation had caused. Obviously they were both feeling uncomfortable, which was understandable considering the vulnerable states they were both in now. "I mean..." He tried again, his response calmer as he tried to get control over his thoughts. "I don't...it's up to you who you hang out with, you know? And Trevor's my best friend, so...it's not like I don't like the guy." He shrugged. Both hands raised to his face, rubbing at it and then pushing through his hair, momentarily moving it out of his face before his fingers released it and it bounced back into his eyes. Everything was messy, nothing was making sense, and he was looking at her and he couldn't decide whether it made him happy or miserable. It was probably both, the best things in his life always seemed to do both. He didn't know what to say again. Or he did, he knew what he wanted to say, but he wasn't sure he should, wasn't sure if it was worth it. Would he be saying it because she deserved to know or just to make himself feel better? And would it actually make things better or ruin them completely? "I just...I don't..." He started, sighing heavily as his gaze dropped to the ground again out of instinct. He took a moment, composed himself, and, for her sake, raised his gaze back to her. "He's not right for you, Jessie."

Jessie: Jessie stared at Greg dumbfounded when he admitted that he didn't think Trevor was right for her. It struck a bit of a chord in her to hear him say that. Mostly because she didn't like people pointing out when she made mistakes or judged her choices. It made her feel like people didn't think she could take care of herself, when really that's all she had been doing all of her life; fighting for herself when no one else would. At the same time she knew that part of what he was saying was right and she hated to admit it. She and Trevor weren't the right fit. That wasn't to say she didn't like him and didn't like being around him. If she didn't then she wouldn't have put up with his shit for as long as she did. But they were so different that they barely talked other then when they were messing around. "I think it's up to me to decide who's right for me and who isn't. I wasn't asking you to tell me who I should or shouldn't hang out with, Greg. I don't think I need anyone's permission for that." She tapped her foot on the carpeted floor of the library, just as anxious and frustrated as he seemed to be. This wasn't a situation they had ever been in or one that she thought they would ever be in. Communicating just seemed to flow easy between them. Being around each other just seemed natural. They had never had any kind of disagreement, which was a first on Jessie's part as she was someone who always found something about people to argue about or push them away. And to be honest she wasn't totally sure what was happening. It felt like a disagreement, even though for the most part they were calm, but she wasn't quite sure what the problem between them was. All she wanted was to figure it out so that they could fix it, or at least work on it, and go back to normal. "I feel like i'm smart enough and old enough to make my own decisions. But fine. Humor me. Tell me why you don't think he's right for me. Tell me who you think is right for me. Since you seem to think you know what's best for me."

Greg: Greg immediately regretted saying anything. This was exactly why he didn't do this, why he avoided attempting to say what he was thinking, because it always ended up coming out wrong. "That's not what I'm trying to say." He tried to explain, his fingers gripping the hair at the back of his head as he desperately tried to figure out how to fix what he'd done. "I told you I know it's up to you who you hang out with. It's none of my business. You asked me what I was thinking and that was it." He sighed heavily again, dropping his hands to his sides. "I don't know what's best for you. I don't know what's best for anyone. I didn't...I wasn't trying to tell you how to live your life. I don't care what you do, I don't. It wasn't what you were doing I just...I wish it wasn't Trevor. And that's selfish I know...I get that. If he's what you want, then he's what you want and I'm...glad you have that. I just wish he wasn't. I wish he wasn't it, because I can't be jealous of my best friend all the time, Jessie. It was already hard enough, but seeing that...you and him like that...it's stuck in my head and I'm trying not to...I'm trying to change it, but I don't know how and it's choking me. I don't know what to do. And that's why I couldn't talk to you."

Jessie: There it was. Jessie had gotten what she wanted, which was for him to tell her what was bugging him so damn much. But now that she knew she was starting to regret bringing up the subject at all. Because knowing meant she had to deal with it. And she had to try to deal with it without hurting anyone in the process. She stood there, mouth slightly ajar as she processed the information she was given. She had never had these kinds of issues with boys before. Most boys weren't brave or dumb enough to deal with her and her shit enough to declare any kinds of feelings towards her. "You mean...you're jealous of him because...you wish it was you instead of him?" Jessie ran a hand through her hair before looking back at him in disbelief. "You like me?"

Greg: Greg had just spilled his guts to Jessie and he hadn't even really made the connection between his words and his thoughts and their meaning. It was the first time anyone had said that out loud, himself included. Hearing it sounded weird, but no less true. He'd kind of hoped hearing it said back to him would cause a disconnect, like he'd realize how ridiculous that sounded and the feelings he imagined he'd had for her would immediately evaporate. They could laugh it off and go back to being friends, the way they were meant to be. The way they used to be. Except, Greg couldn't remember when she'd been just a friend to him. She had been, but somewhere along the line she'd become more than that and he'd felt more than that for her, but he couldn't say when for sure. "Yeah." He confirmed, and for some reason it didn't scare him. He'd freaked out every time the thought went through his head, it was strange that saying it brought relief to him. He took slow, careful steps towards her, something like bravery taking hold of his body for the moment. He hadn't felt like this since Ace had cornered him and his friends and he pointed a gun in his face. But that had been fight or flight, and for once Greg responded with fight. Maybe that's what this was, too, he thought as the space between them shrank. "I like you." Maybe he was choosing fight again, but instead of pulling a gun, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. It felt like he'd pulled the trigger.

Jessie: Jessie wasn’t quite sure what to feel when Greg confirmed that she her suspicions had been correct. There were a million things going through her head at the moment. For the most part she was trying to pin point when exactly their dynamic had changed, just how much it had changed, and why he hadn’t noticed any of it. It was no secret that when it came to feelings Jessie was completely oblivious, whether it came to others or even her own. She always figured it was one of those quirks that she had inherited from being a Rodriguez. Sure she liked Greg back. She wasn’t really sure when that had started but she’d quickly locked that feeling away since he had a history with one of her best friends and she was hooking up with his. It seemed way too messy for her to act on any of those feelings. So why was she a little relieved herself when he finally confessed how he felt? That relief quickly turned to fear as he stepped forward to close space between them. She wasn’t scared of him, he could barely hurt a fly. She was scared of what she knew was coming next and the fact that soon she would have to decide how to go about things between them. Jessie looked at him wide eyed and as still as a statue when his face got closer to hers, even as his lips pressed against hers. It took a couple of seconds for her to react, leaning up to kiss him back and resting a hand at the back of his head to keep him close.

The brief moments if took for Jessie to respond to the kiss just about gave Greg a heart attack. She wasn't kissing him back, but she always hadn't punched him, so he was left with the anticipation of how it was going to go. Once she did respond, the same relief he felt just before ran through him and he relaxed, for once, into her. He cupped her face with both hands, deepening the kiss. He stayed like that for what felt like forever, but also not nearly long enough, before pulling back just enough so that he could look at her. He was too afraid to move away anymore that that, or maybe it wasn't that he was afraid, just that he didn't want to. He'd spent so much time convincing himself he could never be close to Jessie, he could never really touch her, he never really wanted to go back to that. Not now, after this. "Sorry. I was going to ask first, but...I figured you'd appreciate the just going for it action...even if you were going to punch me for it." He laughed lightly.

Jessie: The kiss had her head spinning. The second his lips had met hers she felt a flutter, what she could only assume were the butterflies people always said they felt in their stomach's around the person they liked, only she felt it all over. She felt it the most in her chest, along with the pounding in her chest that came from both the excitement and nervousness of the kiss. It was the probably the best best kiss she had ever had, not that she was ready to admit that. And she wasn't really sure why. Maybe it was the tension that had built up between them, especially over the last couple of months, or maybe it was the fact that he was one of her closest friends and she knew she was in good hands. Whatever it was, it left her speechless as he pulled away to look at her. "Wow." Was all she could say breathlessly as she was brought back down to reality. But coming back to reality also meant she had to think about what all this meant for their friendship and how it was going to effect everything else. She knew she was going to have to make some decisions and soon. She wasn't going to be the girl that strung two boys around, boys who were best friends. As usual she was overthinking things. Her head was a lot louder than her heart. And her head in that moment was telling her that she couldn't do this right now. She looked down at the ground, frowning instead of smiling like him, as she pulled away from his grasp. “I thought about it for a minute there.” She said jokingly, a complete contrast to her solemn expression. "And I did. I do. I'm proud you finally made your voice heard. I just….we can’t do this. You like me? You don't even really know me."

Greg: "I figured." He nodded, joking with her, though his smile slowly faded as he took in her expression. "Can't do what?" He asked, genuinely confused. "I know you. I mean, about as much as anyone knows anyone else. It's not...liking you isn't about knowing everything about you and then making that decision. Liking you wasn't a decision or else I wouldn't have made it. I wouldn't have decided to like the girl hooking up with my best friend. Or decided to like the girl who is, in fact, one of my best friends, too. It's just how it is and it's because what I know about you I like. And because of that I want to know more." He explained, realizing that once he started speaking he couldn't stop. When he usually struggled to sort his thoughts and to get them past his lips, now it was all he could do to keep all of them from tumbling out of his mouth at once. "And as for what we can't do...I'm not trying to do anything. You asked me questions and I answered them. Now you know and that's...I don't expect anything from you, Jessie. I'm just glad you know that I feel that way. That someone genuinely feels that way about you. You don't have to do anything with that."

Jessie: "Then I realized if I punched you then I couldn't tell you just how lame you're being right now.” She said as she looked back at him with a faint smile. He always seemed to find a way to manage to do that, make her smile, even now when she was getting stuck in her own head. “And what if you find out something about me that you don’t like? What if you decide i’m just not worth the effort? Because i’m a pain and sooner or later i’m going to drive you crazy. Then what? You’re one of my best friends too and I don’t want to lose that. I can’t lose that.“ She said just letting out word vomit at this point. Looking for any excuse to get him to believe it wasn’t her she wanted. Relationships had never been her strong suit. That was just a fact. And whenever someone tried to get too close she felt the need to push back. She sighed heavily and moved close to him to rest her forehead against his chest. “If you don’t want anything then what was the whole kiss about? And just exactly how long have you liked me Greg?"

Greg: "I think the punch would've implied it actually." He laughed a little. At least she was starting to smile, that was better than he could've anticipated and at least he hadn't completely ruined anything between them yet. Or it didn't seem like it anyway. "I'm probably going to find out a bunch of stuff I don't like. No one likes everything about anyone. You're probably not going to like stuff about me. I mean...you already don't like stuff about me. And I already know you're a pain and you drive me insane, but...that's what makes you worth the effort. You're not going to lose me. Where the hell would I even go?" He felt better, listening to her ramble. Jessie had never been one to hold back what she thought and in this instance especially he was grateful for it. At least it gave him the opportunity to address her feelings and give her some sort of explanation. Even if he was realizing his explanation as he went. He smiled softly when she leaned against him, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. "I wanted to kiss you. I things, Jessie, I just don't expect them, that's the difference. I just wanted to kiss you at least once. So...I did." He chewed the inside of his cheek as he thought about it, trying to sort out if even he knew the answer. "Uh...for a while now. Pretty much since we, uh, became friends actually."

Jessie: "If you want me to punch you so bad I can do it. You know, since i'm such a great friend." She said with a grin as she reached up to bump her knuckles against his chin gently. For some reason the playful fighting and banter they usually had between them was more her pace than actually talking about feelings. Maybe because she was used to the playfulness of their relationship, it flowed easier than any other relationship in her life, or maybe it was because feelings scared her. She had repressed any major feelings for most of her life, especially when it came to romantic feelings, because she thought they made her weak. "Which sounds nice in theory...but you know how stubborn I can be. And i'm not much of a team player." She admitted. "Right. You would lose the one friend you have. And who else would you talk to? Your desk lamp? Plus who would push you to do shit? Like not disappear from society.." She teased him again, trying to make the conversation light enough that she would freak out again. Even though she prided herself on facing her problems head on she was on the brink of walking away every time the word like was even mentioned. She pulled her face back so she could give him a thoughtful look when he explained why he kissed her. "It's better not to have expectations when it comes to me. I'm not saying I don't like this. This is probably the first thing that's happened in a while that I have liked. I just...I don't know. I have to think about it. And I have to focus on sorting my own shit out before I can do that." She pursed her lips when he spoke up again. "Why didn't you say something sooner?"

Greg: He laughed, turning his head away slightly as her knuckles bumped his chin. It was a relief that she seemed to be getting more comfortable with the situation. They'd always been better at joking than being too serious, and if that's how they dealt with this situation, too, he definitely didn't mind. "I don't knowm my desk lamp is pretty pushy." He smirked, teasing her right back. It was easy for him to fall into that mode with her, but or him nothing had really changed. Except his anxiety about admitting how he felt was completely gone now, which was a freeing feeling. He wasn't sure he'd feel the same way if this had gone differently, but it hadn't so he tried not to dwell too much on the what ifs and tried to focus on the fact that this was happening and it wasn't at all bad. "I told you I don't have expectations. We're still friends, you know? Nothing has to really change if you don't want it to." He shrugged, lifting his gaze away from her as he answered. "You were hooking up with Trevor...and I'm me? You're way out of my league and it seemed pointless to bring it up." He confessed, looking back at her with a small smile. "And..again I'm me and I'm was positive you were going to hit me for being a creep or something.”

Jessie: Something about the way Greg laughed made Jessie feel like everything was going to work itself out. Probably because she knew no matter what happened next there would be no hard feelings, he wouldn’t completely hate her. That was why in that moment she wished she could be the kind of person to just run with whatever this was and just let herself be happy. Then again, that was exactly why she couldn’t do it. She didn’t want to be that girl that turned her life upside down or threw away everything she believed in for a guy. “If your desk lamp is talking to you then I think we’ve got bigger problems than you liking me.” She chewed on her lip as she thought about she wanted with him. “That’s just it…I don’t know what I want right now. I didn’t really have much time to let it sink in. I just…I just need to think about this. Give me some time to think.” She said as softly as she could, pulling away from him again.