#obsessingover

[y-3-mon]

my spike jonze brainrot coming back, i need more spike content in here asap

[lavendorii]

sometimes the ugly guy your mutual starts obsessingover is a girl qnd shes ugly to you because of personal incompetence

[bonnieot7]

Aesthetic.  Because I just read Carry On and now I'm obsessed with these two.   <3 

[pangur-and-grim]

okay I am.........so so so burnt out with art.

in 2020, I spent the first 6 months illustrating a picture book, and the rest of the year fulfilling contract after contract, all while producing monthly content for my online store bc freelance illustration on it’s own doesn’t pay enough to live off.

it was physically the least healthy I’ve ever been, as bending over a tablet nonstop led to inflammation in my spine, which led to a cyst between two vertebrae pressing down on my sciatic nerve, which led to loss of function in my left leg because it was essentially sending “we are very injured!!! uh oh!” signals 24/7 from the nerve being smooshed. also got repetitive strain injuries in both wrists, meaning I can no longer support much weight with the left one (bye bye pushups), and have to wear a brace on the right one in order to draw. 

enter 2021, and another book! this one I wrote AS WELL as illustrated, and it’s about a topic I’ve been obsessingover for years (the colourations of extinct animals)

at the same time as all that, I designed/organized distribution for/served as customer service for a merchandise series for the Magnus Archives, which was a LOT of work, but also enormously satisfying because I’m a huge fan. also did a hefty number of other contracts (menu art and billcards for the Demetres restaurant chain, art for Hank and John Green projects, book covers, etc). 

and I STILL produced monthly content for my store. it was a ridiculously productive year, there will be 4 books published this year that feature my illustrations.

2021 was better physically because I completely changed my work style - instead of sitting at a desk with a mounted tablet, I now recline on a soft couch with a back support, and a lap desk for my tablet, and I have multiple braces for both wrists that I put on before doing anything significant. but even still, it took its toll - in November/December I had to seriously pare back on my work because my drawing wrist was getting re-injured.

NOW IT’S 2022, AND LADS!!!! I HATE ART!!! I’ve already declined a picture book proposal from a major publisher (they wanted to pay $6k CAD for half a year’s work, good god) and have decided to continue denying contracts unless they’re literally irresistible.  

it’s made me nostalgic for the years before I had “made it” in the illustration industry, when art was still a source of joy. like I’d spend weeks on weird non-commercially viable stuff like animals with human faces

or dozens of bad drawings of people’s pets

and then going even further back, before my 4-year illustration degree drilled it into my head that ‘digital art is bad' (they literally did not let us hand in digital stuff for our main coursework until final year), I did so many interesting things in high school!

like I was super into digital realism for a while, zooming in to the pixel level to make every detail perfect

and after that, I got into making digital paintings with a scratchy inked look

and was also OBSESSED with photo-shopping royalty free stock images together to make fantasy scenes 

the point being??????????????? I dunno, guess in 2022 I want to exit ‘the industry’ and survive off my online shop and spend my time going back to an earlier mindset, and re-learning how to enjoy art. which might mean steering away from the things I’m currently pigeon-holed in (risograph prints and paleoart). 

and once I’ve figured out a way to work that’s fun and non-health-destroying, I want to continue the streak of ‘a book a year’ but working for myself, and releasing it as a multi-ending visual novel. I have the entire thing plotted out, and am currently quivering in excitement......think American Gods meets The Sight meets We Know The Devil meets an ecology textbook.

anyways, thank you all for having supported my store in the past, that income has massively improved my quality of life and given me this opportunity to step back and take a breather. and look out for what’s to come this year art-wise, I think it will be interesting? and quite possibly deranged

[90210lannie4ever]

I may be #obsessingover my newest discover #bobbyanddiane from #nypdblue but I still haven't forgotten about my past loves & still love & miss them. #lannie #bangel #mikita . #onetruepairing #onetruepair #onetruelove #otp #90210 #buffythevampireslayer #buffyverse #buffysummers #davidboreanaz #sarahmichellegellar #jimmysmits #bobbyanddianeforever #dianerussell #petawilson #roydupuis #lafemmenikita #kimdelaney ‪#ShipsIdesperatelyneedtoseemoreof ‬#mattlanter #shenaegrimes #shenaegrimesbeech #liamcourt #anniewilson https://www.instagram.com/p/BppndbVFAsG/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=197hudbhwozm3