#obviously phobias are a separate thing and if you have an allergy or some sort of ocd trigger related to animals then that’s one thing

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If you don’t like animals I hope you get well soon xx

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5/27/17, 1:45 AM - Records Broken, Curses Lifted

This is gonna be the weirdest post I’ve made in a while, I don’t think I’ve ever made a post dedicated to a girl who was actively reading my blog, but I’m gonna try my best not to hold back what I was going to say anyway because fuckit whatever I guess I was going to tell her eventually.

“Textiles girl [Katy] has become something really special” is how I tried to start a blog post last week but I was drunk and bailed out on it.

Initially I was tweeting about how she was tinder attractive because of her fondness of cats and her familiarity with smash bros. But the more I talk to her the more I get that familiar feeling of “this is a female version of me” that makes me go absolutely bonkers for someone. Yknow, kinda like what happened with Ashleigh but like maybe even moreso.

It started as like cosmically coincidental that I matched with her on the one day out of two weeks that I was visiting raleigh, but then found out that she was going to be spending the summer in greensboro. So since I was going for harem strats my idea was that by chit chatting with her until she moved into town I’d kinda have dibs lmfao.

But like then the more we talked the more and more we’d have in common. She’s one of the only people I know to have the same degree of nearsightedness that I had before I got my vision corrected. We both have the same phobia of commitment after coming out of long term relationships [I mean who doesn’t]. We both order our drinks without ice, she says her favorite color is specifically “royal blue” which is exactly how I worded it until I became a unc student, we got picked on in school the same ways, we both have similarly detailed sex conquest lists, we both have a strange fascination with cheetah print, my birthday is the same as her mom’s while her birthday is only two days off from my dad’s and we even have matching scars on our feet. It’s weird. There’s a lot more but I digress.

I didn’t find out all this before meeting her, but Katy is like the first girl I actually thoroughly enjoyed talking to on tinder. We started snapchatting a few days later and haven’t missed a day since (I think we’re at a fire streak of 17 now). Every day that she’d go to work she’d be bored and beg me to entertain her. It reminded me exactly of when I first started working after I graduated and I used to ask Kailey to try to entertain me. Except the only difference is she wouldn’t. Instead, I’d ask Katy all sorts of questions about herself and it got to the point where I was half guessing some of the answers (but I never got them right. We’re not like carbon copies lmfao). 

Almost all of this talk happened after our pseudo-date plans fell through, and so she’s living out in hickory with her parents. I practically begged her to come with me to lake week, but she couldn’t because of family plans, and instead we messaged each other the whole time.

So in typical Tyler head over heels fashion I decided that I needed to do something dramatic to see if this was legit or if I was just getting catfished yet again. I mean we had actually taken the time to go through each others facebook pictures and like talk about our pasts and shit so I knew she wouldn’t be too far off from what I thought she looked like, but idk I just did my best to stay skeptical. But I was excited enough to meet her to drive all the way out to Hickory the day that the lake weekend was over so that I could finally see her and talk to her in person.

And ho.ly. shit. She was cuter than I could’ve possibly imagined. She has this slight southern twang in her voice that I fucking love, and she’s only just barely taller than me, and her laugh had me giddy like immediately. We went out to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2 in a nearly empty theatre and held hands through like the whole thing. She guided me to a bar, we ate a little food, and we finally actually talked about our lives in person. Parked in a church parking lot and had pretty damn good sex, considering it was car sex. Her parents gave her a curfew and she had work in the morning though. Came home into Ashleigh’s apartment in my boxers and Aaron and her both laughed at me, and I joined them to watch some twin peaks.

I felt absolutely hooked on her though. It was like the best first date I’d ever been on in my life. I felt like I could tell her almost anything, and it was like impossible for us to have an awkward moment. I couldn’t stand the thought of waiting until I got back from Florida to see her again, so I asked if she wanted to see me again on Wednesday.  [tuesday was great too, played some smash and chilled with Aaron and Ashleigh, played some magic, went to bars, smoked with them and discussed theology lol.]

and she did, though. We decided that since we couldn’t hang around her parents place and since we’ve both always wanted to, we’d get a hotel room for the explicit purpose of just having a ton of sex and hanging out in alone. It was fucking phenomenal. Her parents weren’t home when I picked her up so I made her give me a tour of her house so I could meet her pets and see what her room was like (she has SOOO much cheetah shit omg <3). We got some chic fil a, I made an ass out of myself yelling about rubbing fried chicken all over our naked bodies in the middle of the supermarket next to small children while we got cider, and we checked into the hotel. We had about 5 hours until we had to drop her off at home, so we basically alternated dual marathons of sex and rick and morty. I want to get absurdly explicit about how sexy it was, but idt I can right now, I only do that kind of writing in private lmfao. The tl;dr is we broke both our 6-hr records by hitting 7 separate sexings. I came 6 different times in 5 hours, it was fucking crazy hahaha. And we got through like 5 episodes lol. pretty perfect day if I do say so myself.

And what made it all the better was I let her pick between my two pairs of sexy underwear - the space tighties from my NY road trip and the cheetah briefs that Kailey got me as a birthday present. Obviously Katy picked the cheetah ones but my go to would have been the space ones, only because every fucking single time I wore those cheetah boxers in anticipation of a date it’s either fallen through or gone totally shitty. They were literally cursed until wednesday. I swear it’s like a sign or something.

I hate drawing this kind of comparison, but there’s something nagging me like Katy represents all the traits that I had actually wanted in Kailey when we first started dating. Like the interest in video games and cartoons and better music taste while retaining the absurdly high thirst for sex lmfao. But it’s like kinda purified by her allergy to smoke, because I feel like that was the only core connection that me and Kailey had for a long time. For a while I would postulate that Kailey quitting smoking weed would be like me quitting melee, and so I kind of fucking love that Katy doesn’t smoke at all. It makes me not want to, too. The day before I left the lake I smoked my last cigarette in anticipation of seeing her. Haven’t had a problem not smoking since, haven’t wanted to pick up a new pack. I think I’m really done with them.

But so long story short I’m getting feelings for this girl because she’s absolutely incredible to me. I’ve only seen her twice but I feel like we’ve been talking forever and I’m pretty committed to doing whatever it’s going to take to get her to date me eventually. It honestly kind of horrifies me to write that knowing that she’s about to read all this, because I know that she’s just getting out of her relationship and we’ve talked about how she doesn’t want to do anything serious right now, so I was just going to keep these feelings under wraps for a long time so that I didn’t blow things prematurely. Kind of reminds me of Exactly how I fucked things up before lmfao. I hate making the same mistakes twice, but who knows.

😘😘😘😘 Katy, if you’re reading this, it’s too late. Hope ya don’t freak out. Fingers crossed. You’re totally gorgeous and I love spending time with you and every time I get a message from you it makes me a little happier, and persistent thoughts of you have dissolved all of my interest in pursuing any other woman for the time being. So that’s it.

Love life updated.