#obvs this isnt me telling ppl what to do . i just dont get it ig
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i like adachi as a character. i think he's a generally well-written antagonist, even if p4 doesn't actually do a good job of addressing his issues w society/nihilism. i think it's crucial that he is on some level relatable and sympathetic; that's the whole point. this can happen to anyone. you can know/be an adachi, without realizing it.
but also.... idk. dont wanna act like every conversation/post abt adachi has to mention that he tried to sexually assault/rape(?) yamano and saki, but it kinda skeeves me out when adachi analysis/interpretations just... ignore it? dont mention it? act like He Wanted To Connect With People But Got Scareds? bc no he didn't.... he wasnt Just Sad Because He's A Failure. like he very explicitly approached yamano and saki w Intent to Harm them. he is very explicitly misogynistic. and predatory. you cannot pretend those aspects of his character don't exist
#some of this phrasing is bad but im tired of editing so. sorry :/// whatever idk#getting kinda tired of seeing this#idk its weird to me when fans are like 'i looove messy/problematic characters!' and then go and do this like. are u sure abt that....#i think its also why im so uncomfy w any iteration of trans adachi bc like. what does it add to his character? do you really think it makes#him More sympathetic? Why? is this rlly what u want even from fanon transfem/masc rep???#obvs this isnt me telling ppl what to do . i just dont get it ig#L.txt#p4#persona
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concerned mother voice: what happened to little miss perfect you guys used to love little miss perfect
#j remembered the existence of tht song#did the toh fandom j move on or did i j loose touch w all the toh fans i knew that were obsesed w it. that is thee question.#it was so popular tho like i remeber being kinda annoyed tht it was seen as offical property of the toh fandom#bc i always associated it w glinda who it does rly fit to be fair i think#also i remember *saying* it was a julia song but i dont beleive tht. it was just my way of going 'hey guys remember cs' to my friends#who had moved onto toh#i actually think that like. thts so evil actually bc like. literally just bc of the 'what? its totally platonic!' line#like no dont do that to carulia leave them alone. good carulia characterization that doesnt peg them as 'oblivious' get behind me.#i want to keep posting abt tht btw i was to open ppls eyes to how characterizing carulia like that is bad#amd like just removes the good dynamic they canonically have which is so much more interesting omfg !!!!#tbh sometimes i feel like ppl ships that way so that another character can point out all the moments they were 'soo obviously in love'#so its like playing a highlight reel of their most in love moments which is ig fair that thts smth you wanna do#but why not do smth like theyre reminiscing on their relationship tht wont have u dismiss their dynamic. yk?#sorry obvs tht cahracterization isnt always inacurate but for carulia it sure as hell is.#anyway. chess if ur reading this go listen to little miss perfect actually and tell me if it fits ur werewolf cheerleader character bc idk#but maybe it will !!! is she hiding being a lesbian or just being a werewolf.#flappy rambles
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i wish there was a way for me to likeee. semi change this one thingin this one mod. but 1 im not a modder 2 i feel like thats disrespectful. i just want sort of an inbetween between the game and this mod but that is not a thing that exist... sigh
#NOT COMPLAINING ABT THE MOD just personal preference im not saying the mod bc i dont want it seen as an attack but basically i like mods#that add a bit more realism while also keeping some stuff yfm... like 4 example Random example unrelated i like the idea of Having to decid#what to do with the remains of a dead sim and having the body stick around but i also like having the grim reaper appear.... so in my ideal#death mod the sim dies and then the grim reaper shows up to like. take their soul but the body stays. im not a modder so idk how possible..#also ig that kind of doesnt fully make sense since the ghosts r still afoot so ig itd just be him severing the connection btwn the body and#soul right. not taking anything... which i suppose is what he does in the basegame is he severs the connection and then takes the body w/#him. which is kind of funny. whats he need that for is it just courtesy or is he doing smtg w/ them. bc ik you get the gravestone/urn when#they die and those r the remains but like. ? he just like. conjures those doesnt he. body vanishes and then those appear. does he just#rearrange the atoms of the body into those things. bc i dont subscribe to the idea that he actually digs a hole for the corpse idt theres#anything down there bc u cn put a basement right under a grave and no issues. so i think he magics the bodies away and then either somehow#transforms those bodies into the appropriate grave marker (unclear on if theres even actually ash in the urn like is that mentioned. OR he#takes them leaves the urn and gravestone and then just has the bodies to do whatever with. WHATS HE DOING !!! is it a nice like Ill just#handle this so they dont have to (presumptuous. caring for a body is a rly important thing in many cultures and it can be a great way to#process a loss for some ppl (not all obviously. grief is very personal this is one of my autism things sry)) but ig in simnation society it#isnt that important Evidently. but idk... either hes taking them as a favor to help out/soften the blow bc obv nobody Likes seeing the grim#reaper olive sit down. connor sit down. so hes like well ill handle this. or is it something more nefarious WHTS HE DOINGG tell me. i think#funny to imagine he just teleports the body elsewhere ik he prolly just destroys it but its kind of awesome to imagine theres a giant magic#crematorium and like. a columbarium. idk why i assume cremation itd just save space in his. realm? i he has a realm. if i were him and i#didnt have a realm id be kinda pissed id call the watcher and be like heyyy um... yk. but ya i think thats cool bc i love lands of the dead#gotta be one of my favorite things (autistic) and i think its just cool to imagine a place where the remains of every person whos ever live#r kept. be that their soul as is traditional or their literal remains in this case. isnt that kind of cool.. love it. but again we probably#arent supposed to rly think abt it he prolly jut vaporizes them into nothing. i just wanted to have fun... bring a positive sort of vibe.#anyways. i would like to be able to have The body just bc i think thats cool and i think itd be awesome to have a mod that adds in more#grieving practices from around the world but obviously thatd be like. HUGEscale bc there are a millionnn different ways to grieve. and its#all so interesting to learn abt. read from here to eternity. by caitlin doughty. smiles <- it doesnt cover Everything obv but it talks abt#lot of stuff from around the world in a rly respectful way and its incredible to read abt and learn. my autism . but i genuinely love#learning abt grief and mourning and funerary practices in other cultures i rly wish that so many practices werent lost to colonization wher#ppl were forced to abandon their way of caring for their dead just bc it seemed ghoulish or barbaric or whathave you to the missionaries et#idk. id put death it up there with food as one of the biggest cultural signifiers...i cant continue the tag limit. wtvr. u get it
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It feels like gabbys in like a constant cycle of having smth tragic happen 2 her and then after days of being upset over it she decides to change and try to deal w the problem by just making friends (as in thats just how she met angel and kathee)
Anyway thinking maybe after her kinda processing the fact that the gods r real and her dad is one of them angel is like idk man maybe we should start tryna talk to people here and shes like hm ok. And she finds out theres a volleyball court there and shes like this looks ok and tries 2 join in and thats when she meets kathee cuz its like. Obv ppl know theres a dionysus kid now for the first time in a bit and she hadnt come out to do anything until now and its also kathees first summer there so shes like yk what idk whats so special abt this girl but shes cool im gonna b her friend 👍 and so they become friends
Since shes a cabin counselor (shes literally the only one in her cabin she doesnt have a choice) i think the other counselors there would help out w her getting used 2 camp n what 2 do so shes like 👍 Ok i have new ppl who r nice 2 me here thats cool
💀Until the ares cabin does their toilet initiation thing and shes like dude wtf????? what is ur problem and they start fighting and like one of her counselor friends (i have yet 2 decide who) is like ok guys chill tf out leave her alone ummm and they go the showers for gabby 2 clean herself and shes like man ig i gotta watch out 4 some ppl here but at least i have nice guys w me so hopefully itll b cool
After that she gets more like used 2 how camp is n stuff but doesnt rlly start talking 2 dionysus properly til like near the end of the summer and then her 2nd summer she starts being more like in2 being w him n stuff. Abt her mom i think maybe she was iris messaged by like . Shit idk maybe even dionysus . or maybe angel once he found out that was a thing and decided to tell her abt it after he called his mom (side note i think itd be silly cute awesome if dionysus kinda pulled him aside and was like hey u gotta help her get like better n stuff i get it if she doesnt talk 2 me n stuff but i dont want her 2 b mega depressed every day now and angels like oh um ok sir [fearing 4 his life] so then after that angel kinda like helps her out w stuff how he can [like suggesting places / ppl to hang out w since hes like glued 2 serenitys side and shes also sporty cool like gabby is])
Thinking maybe she n angel have like a mini like conflict or wtva about him feeling left out n stuff cuz she spends a lot of her time doing sportsy training stuff or being w her other friends and he was used 2 them being each others like main guy they hang out w but its like. Not spoken about much cuz he doesnt wanna sound mega dependent on her n stuff and obv shes her own person she can do what she wants. Tbh this is still a point in the current story cuz i literally have a bit where he hangs out w milan for a bit in sadness cuz shes busy doing magic stuff w nishith and itzel? Also i dont mean that gabby got sick of him or wtva dont get the wrong idea she still has him as The #1 Guy ever shes just busy w other stuff a lot to keep her from thinking 2 much abt like . Life (girl cannot b alone w her thoughts)
I didnt proofread any of this i hope i didnt contradict myself much or anything. Btw this isnt all in order of what happened i didnt mean 4 this 2 become a long post i just started talking 💀
#text pose#thinking i make a tag 4 these kind of posts instead of just liking them#cuz i forget everything man 💀#ok new tag —>#oc lore#i have no better ideas sorry
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#ik this isnt my main but i can do what i want also i dont like talking on there anymore rly#anywhays#it's funny bc ive known im chronically ill for like years right#but now that i got the real diagnosis that proves it it just feels weird#i thought itd be a relief and it kinda is ofc but it still feels like...people dont believe me#and thatll always be the thing w invisible illnesses ig#actually calling myself chronically ill to others makes them uncomf which is rly annoying#and i also dont know how i feel about referring to myself as disabled?#what i have IS a disability but like. i think i have a lil bit more to go to like. come to terms w that?#not even come to terms tho bc ik it's a reality but ig yet again im afraid of what other ppl think lol#i wish people were more educated about chronic illness and disability#bc theyre so uncomfortable about the idea theyre like oh no our mary? disabled? dont say that.#when like? thats just a truth that doesnt make me any less or better or whatever the fuck#this is silly but im also kinda afraid of ppl thinking im just claiming disability for idfk woke points or some ridiculous shit#that obv isnt true bc i litcherally by definition have a chronic autoimmune disease that is listed as a disability#but years of ppl telling u ur not rly sick will get to u lol! ill always think what if im lying!#when ur parents tell u 'not to make urself disabled' as if thats a thing i can do and have control over#it fucks u up!#idk man#sry for this i just needed a void
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#i honestly cant comprehend that weve been 2gether ovr a yr and were literally in the exact same position we were the second we started datin#g (othr than he doesnt pay me nymore UNFORTUANTELY) like. seeing each othr once a month or so n him saying its bc of work n that itll get be#tter after x happens (x being ny number of things that sounds just reasonable enough i cant tell 4 sure if its a lie or not :')) n then. not#hing fucking changing obv. like i rlly thot we broke up in july?? i thought i was p fuckin clear abt it?? and then the NEXT DAY he asked 2#see me n my dumbass said ok so like :')) lol :')) ig i wasnt clear enough @ all :')) n i dont kno how 2 do it ny differently ive literally o#nly evr ghosted ppl i dnt kno how 2 break up w them i dnt want 2 break up w them i just want it 2 b Done so i can stop feeling so fucking us#ed n lonely n unlovable lol :'))))#but like also ive nvr evr been ** **** w someone b4 n i still am now evn if i desperately wish i werent so like. how do u. end st when u sti#ll feel things?? when u still want them 2 get better but u kno it wont?? when its not evn just Bad or Unhealthy its just. not as much as u#need?? n like. i was honestly ready 2 do it bc i Kno our relationship isnt good n it isnt healthy 4 me evn if the relationship itself isnt u#nhealthy its just.not what i need. like i had a rlly long convo abt it w my best friend n was ready 2 like. end things ig. n then w/o me say#ing nything abt it or at all i dnt think i evn texted him after i had that talk?? he just started talking 2 me the way he used 2 w like. act#ual emotion and care and attention. n then the next night he sent me a dozen links 2 love songs n like. if he just cared abt me like that al#l the time?? or like. evn just Frequently????? i cldstill deal w barely seeing him. ive dealt w it 4 ovr a yr n 4 the first 8 months it wasn#t evn. like An Ordeal. it was just 'ok this is what i have 2 deal w until things get better' bc we like actual had conversations every day n#he wld text me first n engage w me n like. seem interested in being w me n now he literally just seems. bored and disinterested n i cant sta#nd it. GBHDJFGBHD IM :')crying :') lol :') i hate ppl getting tired of me n i TOLD HIM it wld happen n he said it wldnt n like :') surprise#surprise :') it happened :') but like 4 those 2 days it seemed like it did b4. like he cared abt me n wanted 2 b w me n wanted 2 talk 2 me#but like now its back 2 getting nothing :') n like this feels so idk manipulative or w/e to say bc like. we Do talk every day but its litera#lly just good morning n goodnight texts half the time n the othr half its me trying 2 engage w him n getting the same responses over n ovr a#gain n like. i feel bad 4 wanting more but everyone i talk 2 says i desrve more so :') idk! im just tired. im tired. this was supposed to b#good and easy and it just isnt and that doesnt feel like a good enough reason 2 end it but im always miserably waiting 4 him 2 remember i ex#ist n i fucking hate it. n i hate that imletting it happen bc im scared no one will love me as much as he does evn tho im not evn sure if he#loves me lol :') like :') im tired of getting attached im tired of being unlovable im tired of being unwanted im tired :')))))#and im fucking crying in front of ppl its pathetic! i hate it!
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