#oc: kesa grellend

[the-midwrite-oil]

Character Creation Tag!

I was tagged by @megxnswrites . Thank you, and I’m so sorry it took me so long to finish this! This is one of the more unique ones I’ve been tagged in!

(I’m doing this for Kesa, so fair warning that half of this may not make any sense because this story has its beginning in my mind five years ago and it’s been through countless changes since then. It’s hard to pinpoint when specific things came to me.)

1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)?

Her backstory and station in life. Kesa has had multiple versions because the premise for this is so old (in my head, at least), but for this specific iteration, the fact that she is the daughter of a lord and destined to marry the king was the first thing to come. She even used to have a different name!

2. Did you design them with any other characters/OCs from their universe in mind?

Yep! I first started thinking about her and Nick (in the earliest, earliest versions of this, they were supposed to fall in love!). Then once I realized that Nick would be the villain, I created Egan. Brija came last, and she ultimately wasn’t very important anyway until I cut another character named Marsa.

3. How did you choose their name?

When I make fantasy names, I just...toss a bunch of sounds together into a form that sounds vaguely name-ish. Kesa was originally named Liya, until I made up the name “Kesa” as a throwaway name for a servant, and I was like, “oh my GOD this is such a better name.” Liya eventually became the name of Kesa’s deceased mother.

4. In developing their backstory, what elements of the world they live in played the most influential parts?

Plot-necessary things, like Kesa’s ancestry and social class. Someone with a different backstory could never have been the main character in the story I wanted to tell.

5. Is there any significance behind their hair colour?

Not particularly. Kesa has always had black hair to me, throughout almost every version I can remember.

6. Is there any significance behind their eye colour?

Again, not really. She just has blue eyes.

7. Is there anything significance behind their height?

I’ve never thought of her height as anything but “average.” There’s nothing special about it.

8. What (if anything) do you relate to within their character/story?

Her need for power, albeit in a lesser way (I’m not trying to maintain hold over a whole country like she is), is something I relate to very strongly. I’ve struggled a lot with feelings of powerlessness because of my own mental illness and background. (If I haven’t gotten into my past yet on this blog already, I will eventually, but basically...my life hasn’t been easy, and I haven’t always had the power to choose anything that happens to me.) Writing Kesa become powerful after being in that same mental state as I was has been incredibly cathartic and freeing. She’s been broken down and dehumanized and made to feel a similar way to how I felt, and after, she’s incredibly powerful.

9. Are they based off of you, in some way?

Like I explained above, we’ve been through a similar internal journey. But it was entirely unintentional, strangely enough. I’ve been working on this version of this story for almost two years, and I only realized a couple of months ago how close our ordeals have been to each other. I didn’t mean for us to be so similar, and I really didn’t know how to feel about the story after I realized. I’m glad I decided to keep going with it, but there was a time when I debated stopping. Everything in the story feels so much more personal now.

10. Did you know what the OC’s sexuality would be at the time of their creation?

I didn’t think about it very much. I’d say she’s heteroflexible, though. Saying she’s straight doesn’t feel totally right, but saying she's bisexual doesn’t feel right either. (I’m bi.)

11. What have you found to be most difficult about creating art for your OC (any form of art: Writing, drawing, edits etc.)?

Writing scenes where Kesa has lost control of something or is feeling particularly powerless are very hard. It’s like, “I know exactly how horrible this feels, and I’m still doing it to her.” It does make me feel guilty.

12. How far past the canon events that take place in their world have you extended their story, if at all?

I just have a vague mental image of Kesa and Egan one day and they're married and they're ruling together and they have kids and just...Kesa gets her happy ending. Mostly everyone gets a happy ending. I really hate stories that are already dark and then they end sadly.

13. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

1. Kesa’s motivation to become as personally powerful as possible. She believes that that will make it so that no one can control her ever again. 2. The things she’s been through. Her suffering. It shapes her very deeply, so when I’m going between writing earlier and later scenes (I’m editing TBK right now and jumping around a lot), I have to remember that at the very beginning, she’s still scared and weak. She’s not yet the strong, power-hungry person she becomes.

14. What is something about your OC that can make you laugh?

Kesa’s really funny when she’s happy. When she’s happy and surrounded by people that love her and she feels in control of her environment. She’s jokey and fun and she really makes me smile.

15. What is something about your OC that can make you cry?

How selfish she is sometimes. She’s been hurt so many times before that she’s learned to only look out for herself. And it’s not out of malice or anything. It’s a defense mechanism she learned from being abused. It makes me really, really sad to see her scared and weak and alone because she made a decision that only benefitted her.

16. Is there some element you regret adding to your OC or their story?

Not really. If I regretted adding something, I would just...take it out. That’s the beauty of being the writer.

17. What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

She has blue eyes! I have written 90k words in her head, and I had no idea what eye color she had until like...a week ago!

18.  What is your favorite fact about your OC?

How passionate she is. When she wants something, it is hers and there is nothing anyone else can do about it. 

I’m tagging (sorry if you were already tagged, and feel free to not do this, I won’t mind!): @luna-evans-writes @halrose @sarmarble @writersloth @thesteamgoth @lyntries @touchingmadness

this is not ten but...it is after midnight and I do not give a fuck lmao.