#of course older sister was trolling smol!Rhea

[randomnameless]

Any headcanons about Mark the Monk?

Oh boy

Mark the Monk was an orphan who ended up in Garreg Mach, from a family who had too many children to feed -

His parents were technically alive, but since they couldn't provide, they put him on a random church's door (in a basket).

The random priest in charge of this church pestered again, because it was the 10th child he "received" this year, due to bad recolts and apparently the Lord of Bergliez not giving his grain to feed everyone, but prefering to sell it to Enbarr. Random Priest then petitionned Garreg Mach to get more grain, Rhea answered the petition but while she deplored the state of things, bar giving them bags of flour, she couldn't really do anything else because she has no power in Adrestia, and at best could only write a petition to Emperor Karl VII (Ionius IX's dad), to please feed his people.

Of course, those bags were heavily taxed as soon as they entered imperial territory, so on 5 bags of flour provided by the Central Church, only 3 ended up in the random church.

Mark thus grew up in Adrestia, but had to leave for another church in Leicester when it became apparent that the random church he was residing in, located in Hevring territory, was not going to see the next winter - because a local baron wanted more lands and Minister Hevring thought this church here was useless, so it could be offered to this baron if said baron promised to pay triple taxes.

After a few years in the Leicester Church (in the Ordelia domain) Mark decided to become a clergyman too, so he left for Garreg Mach to pursue his study, leaving before the Hrym Rebellion and Chilon's visit to the Ordelia estate.

In Garreg Mach, he witnessed the Central Church officials running all around trying to answer to petitions, but also, some of them imagining creative scams to gain more money "for the Goddess, of course".

Among those scams was one Priestess who thought selling yellow painted weapons as relics would work - but then she was found out by the Archbishop and exiled, after receiving complains of several buyers who said the blessing of the goddess sucked, since it disappears with the first rain.

Another scam - one he, sadly, bought - was organised by a Cardinal, who convinced people that rubbing their hands against the statue of St Cichol would grant them "unbridled vigor" and a "boost to their fertility".

After long discussions, where the Cardinal's main defense was to levy funds for the Church and "who cares about St Cichol, we're the Church of Seiros!", he was also excommunicated, not before being condemned of repairing, stone by stone, the statues (it was a tedious work, but then Billy poured money so the Cardinal could repair the statues with something else than mud and sticks).

After graduating from his theological studies, with a thesis on "Zanado fruits and transubstantation", he was to be originally sent to the Kingdom as a new deacon, but Mark preferred to travel to Faerghus to see more Holy Sites, and work on his theological studies, remaining a Monk.

(rumour said Lady Rhea enjoyed those disgusting fruits, but he knew better than to try to buy her with one of those things, last month an Adrestian noble tried to bribe her with 10k gold to look away while he would "seduce" students during the Heron Cup, and she expelled him from the monastery).

Thus, Mark has a solid 10 years of participation in Central Church and walked around the world, going from Adrestia to Leicester to Faerghus before Barney comes, and Supreme Leaders supremely ousts them from Garreg Mach.