#of physical affection towards you anymore. yeah congrats. he's a normal friend now.

[coquelicoq]

your tags about visiting with your exes are so funny and it sound like it might be so uncomfortable! I hope you will 1) share an advice about how did you contact them all and 2) write some x your boyfriend stories about it. I hope your visit is very nice! if you don't want to answer I hope you will know that it is very impressive and you are very brave!

it was very normal! we had an extremely normal time!! and even though things apparently did not work out with his girlfriend so he is currently single, there was no kissing, on the neck or otherwise!!! we only hugged once and it was a 100% normal hug. i know insisting upon the normality of this is making it sound like it was extremely weird and i'm just in denial about it, but i swear to you! THIS IS THE YEAR WE BECOME NORMAL!!!

unfortunately i have no advice for you because i didn't really do anything; in both cases the exes reached out to me. i guess the only thing i would say is that these relationships ended 13 and 5 years ago, and i was not ready to be friends with either of them until recently. part of that is just time creating distance between now and when we broke up, and part of it is that i have legit matured as a person as i've aged. so if there are any exes of yours that you'd like to be friends with but you don't feel capable of it currently, don't put pressure on yourself to be ready sooner than you're ready! if you can't do it now, that doesn't necessarily mean you'll never be able to do it. these things take time.

[closer-stars]

I Got You

Member: Hongjoong Genre: Fluff Requested: Yes! Content: Hospital trips are never fun. Hongjoong is best boy. Injections/Syringe stuff. Note: I suffered a bit of a writer’s block along the way, but i tried my best. I hope this helps you anon! I also tried to incorporate some physical affection from our favorite blueberry hehe

The trip to the doctor’s scares you to near death. Unfortunately, they’re a must no matter how much you hate them. As far as you can remember, you were never alone in these trips. That is, until this year. All your friends had prior commitments, your parents live too far and you’d rather not burden them so you really had no choice but to do this on your own. 

You walk to the hospital, a weak attempt to prolong your agony when you know that you already scheduled this prior. Each step makes your hands clammy, and you were sure you were sweating from fear and not the physical activity of walking. With each step, your mind plays out the terrifying scene of needles and smell of alcohol, hell, you can pretty much vividly smell and feel how the chair feels before you receive your vaccines. Your vibrating phone snaps you out of your fears. 

[ Hongjoong ] hey hey where are you?

[ You ] On the way to the hospital.. why?

[ Hongjoong ] I was going to go with you. 

[ Hongjoong ] Where are you now? Wait for me!

That stops you in your tracks. 

[ You ] What?

You read his messages a few more times before sending him your location. It doesn’t take long until he’s jogging towards you. It was him calling your name that breaks you out of your stress induced thoughts. You stare at his slightly panting figure in shock. “Did.. did you run?!” You ask, incredulous. Wherever he came from, you were worried that he went out of his way. It’s then that you notice how vivid this blue hair has become. How often does he have his hair colored? 

“No not really. Once I saw you, that’s when i started running.” He says in between heavy breathing. It doesn’t take him long to straighten up and offer his arm to you. “Come on. I’m not letting you go into that hospital alone.” He repeats. 

You loop your arm with his, as he distracts you from your anxieties with stories of his work. “Yeah, Jongho’s wit is getting a lot sharper now too. His greed for the screen time is really impressive.” He says with a fake pout. His stories make you forget that you’re actually on the way to the doctor’s. It just felt like you were walking with Hongjoong to the studio. 

It’s the smell of antiseptics that remind you where you are. That’s when you stiffen up in the building, not liking how there’s always an undercurrent of stress and sickness in the walls. You never liked how hospitals remind you of things you’d rather not think of. 

“Hey..” His voice softens. Even if you didn’t have your arm in his, he notices how you pale within the first few steps. “I’m here. Nothing’s going to hurt you while I’m here.” He promises. In other circumstances, he would give you a morale boosting speech or question to cheer you up. In situations like this, the gentle reminder of company was enough. His eyes drink in the faint smile that graces your features. “It’s scary, but I’m here to keep you safe.” He’s not that fazed with hospitals at this point. His members have had their fair share of visits that he had to accompany them with to know how to care for them accordingly. 

With that, you lead him to your doctor’s office. The secretary greets the two of you warmly. As she records any changes in height, weight and blood pressure, Hongjoong would constantly joke around with you behind her back. “You came in time too, Doc’s got one last patient then it’s you.” She notes, though her tone is bright enough to calm you, it isn’t enough to slow down your heart beat. Hongjoong finds amusement in the secretary’s stories, telling the two of you how your doctor would often come in with light jokes and stories of comical patients. He guesses that even they know of how scared you are of this place. “It’ll be done before you know it.” She promises the two of you, opening the door as the previous patient comes out, holding a small cotton ball to their arm. The doctor bids them goodbye and the secretary then ushers the two of you in before assisting the previous patient. 

The doctor greets you just as brightly. It’s her job to make sure that the patient was comfortable after all. She’s used to the fearful patients, and she knows how it can be to have no choice but to deal with a fear. “I see you have a new friend! It’s nice to meet you...?” She trails off as she gestures the two of you to take a seat across her. 

“Kim Hongjoong.” He says simply with a polite bow. 

“Kim Hongjoong! Thank you for accompany our dear here to the doctor’s!” She exclaims as she goes through your records, making sure she has what she needs to administer. She praises your record of being able to stay healthy with little to no issues, especially at a time like this. She checks your vitals for a few moments, it’s how Hongjoong squeezes your hand in time with his breathing to remind you to breathe slowly, to ground yourself. You catch a glimpse of your doctor’s reaction as she records your vitals, a smile. That’s good. 

Afterwards, she stands up from her seat, looking for your vaccine shot, seeing that she can’t find them in her office. “Excuse me, dear.” She sings softly as she steps out to ask her secretary for them. 

As she disappears from the room, the male pats your hand lightly. He didn’t need to say much anymore. He plays with your fingers lightly, distracting you from your thoughts. “I know that look. If it’s too scary, just look at me okay?” He says, making sure you look at him as he talks, to which you nod. 

Your doctor comes back with the vial and clean syringe. “This will be fast, okay? Just focus on Kim Hongjoong.” She says softly as she starts the procedure. 

You don’t realize it but you end up leaning your head against the male’s shoulder, finding comfort in his presence. His free hand reaches up to cover your eyes from the view of the syringe being anywhere near you. “You’re doing fine..” Hongjoong murmurs softly as he watches for you. “Breathe.” her voice soft and reassuring, and that’s when your grip on his hand tightens. 

The sharp pinch of the needle makes you whimper softly, resulting in the leader to rub his thumb across the back of your hand. Before you knew it, the pinch was gone, and is replaced with a cotton ball rubbing the spot gently. “Congrats, dear! You’re clear for the next few years now.” Your doctor praises you as she tosses away the used syringe. With that, she gives you a few reminders of staying safe and healthy. “The vaccine might make your arm feel heavy but that’s normal, just massage your arm lightly or use a cold pack to ease the pain okay?” 

With that, the two of you bid her goodbye, thanking her for her time and effort. The smiley male then leads you out of the building and it’s one of those moments where you appreciate the fresh air a little more. You take a deep breathe, loving the feel of clean air in your lungs instead of alcohol and artificial air fresheners. 

“Let’s get ice cream. You did good today.” Hongjoong wasn’t taking a no for an answer. Your free hand holds onto your arm, you can feel the heaviness your doctor warned and it wasn’t as terrifying as you think it would be. If anything, the heaviness just felt like a nuisance. 

The two of you arrive at an ice cream shop, him opening the door for you. The room smells of sweets this time and it makes you relax, a sigh of relief slipping through your lips. “How’s your arm?” He asks, as the two of you approach the display. 

“Heavy... Not painful heavy just annoying heavy..” You mumble, massaging your arm gently, your eyes scanning the flavors available. This makes him chuckle lightly, thus causing him to ruffle your hair lightly. “Hey! What was that for?!” You complain lightly. 

“No reason, just proud of you today.” He says simply, the glint in his eyes show the genuine nature of his words. “So for today, your ice cream’s on me.” It’s the way your eyes widen in happiness at his words that make his heart melt. 

“Really?!”

He nods and from there you look back to the display as you point at the two flavors you want. “Wait for me outside? Let’s eat this at a park.” He asks, poking your cheek to get your attention. 

So you do, you stand outside, waiting for him as you watch people come and go. The wind chimes of the shop ring lightly into the air, signaling that he’s done with the purchase. A cup of your favorite flavors with your favorite toppings in one hand, and his Rainbow ice cream cone in the other. “Let’s go?” He asks as he hands your order. 

You keep the cotton ball in your pocket as you take the ice cream from his hands. The cooling sensation in your tongue making up for the terrifying ordeal earlier. The two of you walk quietly this time, enjoying the ice cream as much as possible before it becomes a sweet sticky mess on your hands-- well his mostly. 

By the time you arrive at the park, he was halfway done with his, you one fourth-- the perks of taking the cup option. The two of you settle down on a bench a few meters away from the people who linger around with their friends and children. 

“Thank you.” You speak up moments later, picking at your ice cream quietly. 

Wide confused eyes glance over at your quiet figure, watching you eat your ice cream thoughtfully. His brown eyes scan you in quiet curiosity. “What for?”

“For accompanying me today. I don’t think I asked you to come with me prior either..” You explain. You knew how busy he was that’s why he was out of the options early on. 

His smile was warm, an opposite to how the ice cream feels in your hands, but both of them sweet. “I know how you don’t like going to the doctor’s so I did my best to be there for you like how you are for me.” He explains gently, taking a small bite out of the cone. His words make you feel warm. “Also, mind you, we haven’t seen each other in a long while. I took the chance to see you again in my free time.” 

The rest of the day goes by at a comforting pace, the two of you catching up on the weeks of no communication: both of you busy with your own lives. It’s only when you notice that the sun is going down that you decide to head home. You don’t see his pout at the idea of splitting ways. “Let me walk you home.” Hongjoong offers. You don’t turn down the offer. 

By the time you reach the doors to your apartment, he rubs his neck a bit awkwardly. “I’ll get going now. Take care of yourself okay? Don’t forget the ice pack if your arm starts to get annoying.” He reminds you. It’s your turn to chuckle. 

“I’ll be fine from this point on Hongjoong. I’m serious about earlier too. Thank you for being there.” You say, before stepping into your apartment. 

“It’s no problem,” he starts. “just call me when you need me. I’ll be there. Always.” He says as he walks back, waving at you before turning on his heels. 

You watch him walk back, maybe back to his studio or to his dorm. Who knows, this boy never stops at what he does. The last thing you see before you close the door is his bright blue hair, standing out from the reds and purples that pour into your apartment complex through the windows. 

You were thankful for him and he was thankful for you too.